WASHINGTON
COUNTY
nATC II ET.
A C E T Y L E N E GAS.
T b s S liig tu g C h ild r e n o f H o rn in g .
to attempt to resume his place, but he
center, now stood in solitary state with
A row of children suddenly filled the B o m e t h l n s A b o u t t h e 1‘r o d u c t t o u o#
had lost interest in the performance si
folded arms and glanced quickly along
riverfront. They seemed to ooroe forth,
th e N e w lllu iu in H n t.
the motionless line, while back of him multaneously with his own loss of pres
tige among the crowd, and so, after a as if at a preeoncerted signal, through
By heating In an electric furnace a
some thirty yards, all along the edge of
the low doorways and over the narrow mixture of lime ami carbon a combina
the parade, in baggies, carryalls, 'busses, moment’s wavering, he turned about
doorsteps of the Horning cottages. With tion of the two substances ensues, and
in long somber rank afoot. Central City and shouldered his sullen way toward
By CHARLES KING, D. & A.,
his buggy, only stopping long enough to out further delay they burst into a song. a stone-like material, the calcium car
J e t t h o r e f T h e Colonel’s hauijhtur," "T he looked admiringly on. For a moment
the main interest seemed to center on inquire of a civilian the name of the of They were in excellent practice, for the bide, is produced. When water come«
D e te n e r,” “iY u m Che /{units." T h i n ,
words of the song were made quite clear: in contact with it, part of the hydro
raven R anch, ’ "T w o Soldiers."
Lieut. Hearn, and fingers could be seen ficer.
“Cross, eh? Capt. Cross. Sure of
Ho, Jo h n B arley cor»!
pointed, and voices heard announcing.
gen of the water combines with the
Ho, Jo h n B arley co rn !
that, are you? All right. I’ll fix him.”
carbou. forming acetylene; the rest of
ID u p jlic it. 1*0, by J. B Lipptooett Oompaey. “ That’s him.” as he stood tall and erect he growled between his set teeth as he
A ll d ay long I raise m y song
nSlsSstpfeia. and publlalad by sp ed *i s r r s a jf. in front of the troop he was commanding
To o ld Jo h n B a rle y c o rn !
tlie hydrogen, with the oxygen of the
strode
away.
meat wiui t i u a ^
in old Blauvelt's absence.
When the song was done, some 24 water, combines with tlie calcium,
When
a
few
moments
later
the
long
“Oh, Fred, and we've got to say yes,
With flourish of trumpets and three re
childish eyes were fixe«} on the strangers forming calcium hydrate.
for Mr. Hearn won't come," answered sounding ruffles the band swept out from line of officers halted in front of the in the boat.
This apparatus is of the type of the
Mrs. Mabel, with grief in her eye* the right front,and then all eyes were sud colonel and raised their hands in simul
“ They always sings—Hornin’s famed
“ W e’ve got to say, 'Bring him by all denly greeted by an unaccustomed sight. taneous salute he responded with some for that. Two hundred years, they say,
means;' and yet bow 1 hate to have oar On the troops, long schooled in military thing less than his customary graceful
j the children o’ Hornin have snug to the
pretty dinner spoiled! I t the train conld etiquette, the effect was not at the time deliberation and inquired:
I passin boats. But i t ’s the yachts that
“
What
on
earth
was
going
on
there
only be later'
apparent—neither by word nor sign was
¡they makes their money off o f,” was
“That woold spoil it still more, Ma there indication that anything nnnsual that there was so much giggling in
bel, tor then yoar— Oh!” said the cap had occurred; but in the populace, long ranks? It was mainly in front of you, ! M ills’ uublnskiug introduction of the
tain, suddenly recollecting himself, and accustomed to individual visits to the Mr. Martin. Have you been attempting waiting choir. Something of the youth
and freshness of those clear, high voices
turning back to his particular little fort and to observation of its military re any witticisms, sir?”
“ Not that I can now recall, colonel,” that only a moment ago had mingled so
■having mirror, before which he began quirements. "Keep off the grass," and
bcsily arranging the loop of his gold by no means intrude upon the space re responded Martin, with his usual drawl. deliciously with the pinks and the rose
scents in the homely, old fashioned gar
helmet cord.
served for military exercises, the sensa “Possibly the appearance of our Chicago
“ For then?” exclaimed pretty Mr*. tion was immediate. Elbowing his way- friend in the role of adjutant was what dens had gone. The children, after
Lane, speeding across the space between through the crowd standing at the edge prompted their merriment. If you in pocketing their pennies, had turned un
her toilet table and her liege lord’s shav of the parade ground, with cigar tip vited him to accompany you I trust you naturally incurious backs on us and the
river. They had learned already ap
ing corner, ami laying her white hands tilted in his mouth, his light spring over will excuse it.”
“ Whom do you mean, and what do parently to take a strictly professional
upon his shoulder knots and gazing np coat thrown back, with the same cool
view of the world as it passed.—“ A
Into his half averted face with sparkling deliberation that characterized all his you mean?”
"Why, Mr. Abrams took post on your Cruise on the Norfolk Broads,” by Auua
eyes—“ For then, yon dear old— Yon movements, the representative of The
f a r ’* - '
haven't sent east for flowers?”
M A K IN G A C E T Y L E N E GAS.
Palladium sauntered forth upon the left and rear, sir, until Cross invited him Bowman Dodd, in Century.
"Perhaps it was some other fellow sacred precincts, and never hesitating elsewhere. I’m sorry for Cross; he has
familiar hydrogen gas generator of the
T h e I n g é n i o n s K in g .
then." said the captain, dubiously.
until he had almost reached the com a wife and family; and yonder goes the
Apropos of Queen Margherita’s de chemist. In all such apparatus for the
“Oh, Fred, yon darling! I hadn't manding officer, presently came to a gentleman, bound for the telegraph
hoped for anything half so lovely. Will species of “parade rest” of his own, half office no doubt. What won’t The Pal votion to her husband, a little anecdote production of acetylene due regard has
is told which I believe to be perfectly to be had to the extraordinary rapid
they be here on this train, really? That’s sitting on the backs of his hands, which ladium say now?”
“You don’t mean he was right here by true. The locks of King Humbert, be ity of evolution, comparable only to the
why you didn't want dinner served until were supported on the knob of his mas
so late, was it? Georgia and I were say sive cane, and there coolly surveyed the me during parade?” said Morris, growing it told, were formerly as black as a evolution of carlion dioxide gas from
I raven’s wing, and the pride of his sodium bicarbonate and acid. In the
ing just now if we only had a few flowers proceedings from the very spot reserved very red.
“Certainly, sir,” spoke Capt. Brodie. j charming consort’s heart. Almost sud- outer casing, which is about one-half
the table would be perfect. I must run for the adjutant, one yard to the rear
and tell her.” And impulsively she and three to the left of the commanding “ You could have smelled his cigar if the ! denly these locks turned white, and the filled with water, a fixed bell or receiv
the wind hadn't been blowing from the : queen, like the fond wife she is, quite er is inverted, whose lower lip reaches
raised her soft lips to his face and kissed officer.
him enthusiastically.
“You are so
I fretted over the fact. A certain little to within a short distance of the bot
Some of the soldiers in ranks, unable stables.”
But the appearance of the wagonette delicacy of feeling prevented her from tom of the containing vessel. A rod
thoughtful, Fred!”
to repress their merriment at the sight
“ Very,” he responded, with much of so unusual a breach of etiquette, whirling into garrison with the tall form referring to the matter with her hus passes through the top of the receiver,
gravity of mien. “ And that’s what could not refrain from tittering. The of Col. Lawler, a dust colored figure band. So, without saying a word, she the joint tieiug made gas-tight by a
prompted me to suggest to your ladyship voices of the file closers could almost be from the crown of his felt hat down to purchased a bottle of black hair dye, cud stuffing box, so that the rod can he
the propriety of throwing a wrapper over heard in stern, low toned reproach. his very boots, put an end to further re one morning placed it on the king’s pushed up and down. To ;he lower
those snowy shoulders. The orderly has “Stop that laughing, Murphy!” “ Quiet, marks. Morris hastened to meet his dressing table.
end of the rod a eonieal wire basket is
left the hall door open, and all Central there, Duffy!” Morris himself could see guest, merely nodding response to Lane's
The day wore on and King Humbert secured. From the top of the receiver
City seems out here to-night. There goes that something unusual was going on, courteous invitation to bring him to din appeared at luncheon as usual with his a tube passes off to conduct the gas
the 'assembly,' and your train should be but, totally unconscious that his own ner.
own white hair, greatly to the queen’s to the burners, and a hole with lightly
here in fifteen minutes. 1 suppose I can official precincts were the scene of the
secret disappointment. Now, the queen fitting screw stopper is provided ii: ihc
CHAPTER
X.
tell the colonel as he drives past on the solecism, never changed his position,
owned a pet in a little dog, white as top for the introduction of calcium car
Capt.
Lane's
quarters,
as
has
been
way down to meet him?"
but stood there statuesque, soldierly and
snow, and the dog, as the afternoon bide.
said,
were
charmingly
furnished,
and
Ordinarily the announcement of the precise, all unconscious of his self ap
wore on, failed to come, as usual, to his
adorned
with
attractive
pictures
and
advent of some each high functionary as pointed staff officer slouching behind
mistress’ side. What was her surprise
PUT IN JAIL.
bric-a-brac.
The
dining
room
wee
the judge advocate of the division would him. As for Mr. Abrams, happy in the
when the door opened and he bounded
A
n
A
t
t
o
r
n
e
y 's P e c u lia r P r e d ic a m e n t
have been amtmsufficient to indnce the conviction that the people could not but ■mall, as dining rooms generally are in in with a coat as black as ink. The king
in a J u s t i c e T r ia l.
eolonel to tnm over the command at pa look on and envy tne proud prominence army garrisons, but by dint of moving followed, smiling broadly. “ You see,”
“I was imprisoned in a stable once,"
rade to Maj. Kenyon and to go forth of the representative of the press, he ap ont the stove, which until now had cum be said, “ the use to which I have put
with to meet the coming man. But here peared to have no other care than that bered one corner, and then crowding the the hair dye!” From that day Queen said a well-known attorney to a Wash
was the elite of Central City, as well as of the criticism due the public of the sideboard into its place, sufficient room Margherita resigned herself to the fact ington (Star writer. "I had been re
a strong delegation of the masses, gath martial exercises now taking place. 1 had been gained to admit of extending that her lord preferred to leave his locks tained to recover a mule in a mountain
ered to see the garrison, and Morris par Taat it was probably the colonel's inten the table diagonally and seating four to nature’s own discretion.—Woman at county of North Carolina. The mule
ticularly prided himself upon the sol tion to make a speech of some kind to teen people thereat, and now, with the Home.
had Is'en taken from my client and 1
dierly grace and style with which he his men Mr. Abrams did not doubt, and curtains drawn, but the soft evening
obtained a writ of replevin, under
A
U
s
e
F
o
r
t
h
e
S
h
a
r
k
.
presided at the most stately ceremony that The Palladium should have every breeze playing through the open case
which the sheriff turned the animal
Probably few people who have read over to me. He was placed ill a log
ment and the broad hallway, in the soft,
of the military day. If he were to fail word of it he fully intended.
The band by this time was hammering yet brilliant light of dozens of wax the countless stories of the savage shark, stable until the case could lie tried the
to appear at the head of his troops, if all
that line of officers werff to march to the half way down tjje line, and the officer candles set in sconces on the walls or in [ the “ banditof the seas,"as he is called, next morning. Court convened about
front and salute Maj. Kenyon instead of of the day, coming suddenly in the north- j heavy candelabra on the damask covered know that he is a very nseful creature sunrise, under a big oak tree, and the
him, people might really get the idea west gate from a visit to the guard, be board, a merry party had gathered for I for man. The liver is found to contain mule was sent for. hut the brute had
that it was the infantry field officer who came aware that something was exciting | one of the “lovely dinners" for which au oil of a beautiful color, which never escaped and could not be found.
becomes turbid and possesses medicinal
was the post commander, not himself. the merriment of the few men on the Mrs. Lane was already famous.
“ 'Cou't will come to order,' said the
qualities of a very valuable character. Justice, 'an' es the critter is gone, the
No. In all the yellow radiance of his verandas of the cavalry quarters, and
The skin, after being dried, takes the red headed lawyer'll take Ids place, be
cavalry plumage Morris strode forth then caught sight of this strange figure
polish and harduess of mother of pearl, in' as he was the las' one thet bed 'irn
from his veranda and stood revealed in out on the parade. He looked hurriedly
about
in
search
of
the
colonel's
orderly,
and oh being marbled bears a resem in charge.'
the rays of the westering sun. His or
but
Brooks,
as
we
have
seen,
had
al
blance to fossil coral, so that it is em
derly hastened through the groups on
"The'trial progressed and judgment
. the graveled road in front, and, halting, ready gone on his mission to the station.
ployed by jewelers for the manufacture was reudered in favor of my client for
Not
a
soul
was
there
to
whom
he
could
of
faucy
objects,
by
binders
for
making
raised his hand in picturesque salute,
the mule, hut in the absence of the
intrust the duty, yet he knew he could
the eyes of Central City looking on:
shagreen and by cabinet makers for pol property, the justice said:
not
allow
such
a
breach
of
military
pro
“ The colonel’s messages are delivered,
ishing wood. The fins, independent of
“ 'The mule was wuth a hunderd dol
nse by some as an article of food, are lars, an' as the lawyer let 'im git away,
and the carriage w ill be at the station." priety to occur right under his eyes.
There
seemed
no
help
for
it;
he
had
to
“ Very well, Brooks. Now you your
superior for conversion into fish glne, I'll render judgment agin 'ini for a
self go down and be on the lookout for go himself; and, by no means liking his
competing in this line with the well hundred dollars an' costs, an' the sher
duty,
Capt.
Cross,
of
the
infantry,
has
CoL Lawler, a tall, sandy haired, sandy
known sturgeon glne prepared in Rus iff'll imprison 'im 'till the cost are paid.’
bearded man, rather slender, nearly 00 tened out on the parade, and with the
sia, and are used for clarifying beer,
"Of course the proceedings were il
eyes
of
both
lines
upon
him,
though
the
-errs of age; report to him and get his
wine and other liquors, also for the legal. but as 1 did not have enough
baggage into the wagonette and bring heads of the troops remained scrupu
preparation of English taffetas and as money in my pockets to pay the costs,
him here to my quarters, and say that 1 lously fixed to the front, he stepped up
reagents in chemistry, etc. The flesh, I was locked up in the log stable until
to
Mr.
Abrams,
tapped
him
on
the
would have met him but was detained
too, despite its oily taste, is in some I could send thirty miles over the
shoulder, and civilly said:
at parade."
places eaten as food, and, along with mountains and get the cash. All duy
“ I beg your pardon, sir, but no one is
Again the orderly saluted, then faced
the bones, is converted into a fertilizer. long I staid in the impromptu jail, and
allowed
on
the
parade
ground.
I
shall
about and strode away through the
— Revue Scientifique.
as It grew dark my thoughts were not
have
to
trouble
you
to
fall
back
to
the
swarm of curious eyes which followed
of a pleasant nature. Suddenly a nose
A N a rro w Shave.
roadway."
him a moment, then turned once more
stuck threw the chinks. It was the
Mr. Abrams looked angrily around.
open the gorgeons and gleaming propor
“ I was making for a place where the
lost mule, and I have never tie—ti as glad
tions of the warrior putting on his white What! Be compelled to quit his position?
parapet had been worn down by men
leather gloves and buttoning them at the —to fall bark in humiliation before all
running over it in order to avoid the ex to see any living creature, as I was to
wrist with much deliberation. Mrs. those people and meekly take his station “I shall expect to see you appearing In ertion of mounting np even four feet, greet that long-eared representative of
the role of counselor / ’
Morris being in her own room, arraying among them, and actually to have to
when a yonng soldier passed me on my the equine race. I succeeded in mak
/ herself tor tue Lauc dinner party, and confess that, after all, a newspaper man
Three of the infantry captains were left side, and donbtless not noticing I ing the owner of the stable hear me,
the veran la being vacant, he then called wasn't the monarch of all he surveyed? present with their wives. Pretty Jean was wounded knocked my arm heavily, and in a few minutes the mule had
to his adjutant, who came along the path Never!
nette McCrea, who was visiting the saying, ‘Move on, sir, please. ’ As he taken my place in the stable."
way at the moment, a vision of floating
“ I'm here in the interest of the journal Burnhams, was escorted in by Dr. Inger- passed ovgr the parapet with his rifle at
Queer F a cts About Air.
yellow plume and brilliant aiguillette, X represent, and I have full authority soll, popularly repnted to be an intract the trail, I caught it by the smaTfofthe
The celebrated chemist of the slx-
and after a moment s conversation with from the commanding general to inspect
able bachelor, yet privately believed to butt to pull myself np. He turned ronnd
his chief that young gentleman made his anything at this post,” was his instant
angrily, asking, ‘What are you doing?’ I teenth century who argued that It
way to where a couple of town carriages answer, accompanied by a shrug of his be melting beneath the tenderness of and while his face was bent on mine, a would be Impossible for us to live on
that young lady's sweet blue eyes; and
were drawn up along the edge of the shoulders and an ugly scowl.
Georgia Marshall found herself sitting ronnd shot, passing my ear, struck him 1 the earth's surface if the atmosphere
parade and presented the colonel's com
“ I cannot help that," was Cross's cool
I full between the shoulders, and I step would suddenly increase to twice its
pliments to the occnpants, the ladles of yet civil reply. “ You can see just as vis-a-vis with Mrs. Brodie, a somewhat ped over his body, so exhausted as to be present thickness could not have been
portly matron, who seemed cat>able of
the postmaster's and leading banker's well from the edge of the parade, and
imbibing information through every pore [ strangely indifferent to the preservation far wrong after all: that Is. If die ox-
households, inviting them to bring their here you will be in the way."
and storing it for future use, and yet at | of my own life, saved by the soldier hav- jieriments of Dr. Arnott are to be taken
friends and come and sit on his piazza.
“I can't see it clear back there, and I the same time imparting new and start j ing jostled me ont of my tnrn at the as conclusive. In bis observations on
Mr Abrams, of Chicago, who was at mean to stay where I can see and hear.
ling opinions on all current topics with I gap. ” — “ The Crimea In 1854," by Sit atmospheric pressure at the bottoms of
the moment the center of a knot of men, If there's anything I don't understand I
the deep mining shafts of Europe, Prof.
intensified volubility. Her eyes took in E. Wood.
young and old, qnitted their society, and wish to be where Col. Morris can ex
Arnott has found that the change be
every detail of the tasteful appoint
IT a n ia n S y m p a t h y .
with his customary deliberation saun plain. "
tween the readings of a barometer at
ments of the table. Her nos'rils inhaled
"What has become of Miss Blank,
tered over, opened the colonel's gate and
Thanks to the banging of the band, all the fragrance of the roses and carnations
who was always such a favorite in yum the bottom of a fonr-thousaud-foot
with careless ease of manner accosted this was inaudible to the coiouei, who
lavished on every hand. Her lips parted set?"
shaft and one at the surface is great
that official, “ Fine evening, colonel," remained in blissful ignorance of the
to receive the succulent little clam—rare
"Her father failed some weeks ago, enough to warrant him In making the
and then lowered himself into the near colloquy taking place so near him.
and unaccustomed luxury west of the and all they had was sold by auction." Statement that air at the bottom of n
est chair just as the officer, with a face
“ You cannot stay here, sir." was the
Missouri, yet easily expressed from St.
i shaft twenty miles deep would he ns
"Poor thing
that flushed unmistakably, excused him firm, low toned answer. “I w ill take
Louis—and to give utterance at the same
“ And now they have to live in a lit dense as water. Figuring on the saiit
self, passed him by and hastened down pains to explain everything to you after
instant to liveliest comments upon the tle rented honse down town. "
patio he finds that if a hole could
the step« to greet the entering ladies, you retire some twenty yards, but I
unusual feature of that evening's parade.
"What a change. How she mnst sunk forty miles into the bowels or
while the adjutant, hurrying on to trust you will not make it necessary for
It was not until after soup and the tiny grieve!’’
earth the density of the air at the
where his sergeant major was awaiting me to be more imperative. Come, sir!"
thimbleful of sherry that audible con
And so, w ith the worst possible grace,
" Y es; she is so much changed that tom would be as great as that of o
him at the edge of the greensward, sig
versation
seemed
to
extend
beyond
her.
silver.
naled the band, and the stirring notes of Mr. Abrams had to give ground, and. and then Miss Marshall, who had been even her best friends would not recog-
“ adjutant's call," followed by the burst accompanied by the officer of the day,
| nize her. I met her on the street today
A N a tio n o f C o ffe e D r in k e r * .
endeavoring to entertain Capt. Brodie
of martial strains in swinging six-eight fall back to the general throng. To
j and did not know her at all, poor
and
distract
his
mind
from
contempla
The Americans are a coffee-drinkiug
time, heralded the coming of the troops cover his mortification as much as pos tion of his better h alf s undannted con thing 1” — New York Journal.
people. The last fiscal year the value
sible. Cross, in a smiling and courteous
of the whole command.
versational powers, found herself ad
of coffee imported into the Fnlted
S u rH y N ot.
Company after company, the cavalry manner, went on to explain the purpose dressed by the gentleman on her right:
States exceeded the value of any other
Customer—Can't yon wait upon me?
from the west, the infantry from the and details of the parade. But Abrams
“ And so yon are from Cincinnati. Miss
single article, amounting to a total of
mat end of the quadrangle, came march only turned angrily away. Twice he Marshall, and paying yonr first visit to I've been here for nearly an honr. Two
F.*S1.»,T17. ordinarily sugar stands
pounds of liver, please.
essayed to stop and face about, but
ing forth upon the level green carpet,
west? Now, what do you think of
at the head of the list of imports but
Cross was getting his blood up by this the
Butcher—
Sorry,
but
there're
three
or
the army?”
asemingly intermingling in confusion as
the excessive importations of sugar In
time, and determinedly marched along
four
ahead
of
you.
Surely
you
don’t
they neared the center, yet unerringly
“Pardon me. Col. Lawler, but isn't
to the very edge of the tittering line of
want yonr liver out of order?—San 1SM ln anticipation of the tax ini
and unhesitatingly marching onward,
p.'sed by the tariff out Importations
townspeople, and there, raising his cap, that a trifle like the query we are said to Francisco Chronicle.
until presently, with the solid blue and
propound
to
Englishmen
who
hare
just
down from *1J8,SSIS.8S'J in ism to $7T .
■aid with the utmost civility:
white hattalion in the center, and with
The bishop of Carlisle boasts that he 7W T J- m l« f,. During the current
“ And now. sir, if I can be of the faint landed? How do you like America?"
th e yellow plumed helmets of the cav
“ But I inferred that yon had been “ can sew a button on better than any nscal year a large increase In the rev
est assistance in making this ceremony
alry parading afoot on both flanks, the
woman. " The late bishop of Worcester enne may be anticipated from increased
clear to you, command me. You will here long enongh to form an opinion."
long atatueeqne line stretched nearly
“To form one vaguely, perhaps, but learned to knit, so as to be able to take receipts from sugar duties.
observe that the adjutant is coming out
half wlfr across the longest axis of the
probably
not
long
enongh
to
subject
it
np bis w ife's dropped stitches when she
i to occupy the very position you were in."
quadrangle. Company after company,
to the test of experience. '
.
* • * T h * ‘ T im e .
old.
But Mr. Abrams was in the sulks, as
th e white gloved hands clasped in front
v\h.n I want to know.” said the i
"And
do
you
never
express
opinions
| was to be expected, and still more
In France it is believed that when a early oyster, “is whether I am to be ffi
o f each man as its commander ordered
I wrathfully turned his back, refusing to until assured of their justice? Really.
white pigeon settles upon ■ chimney the the 8w.m thig sea «kin.”
“ Parade n e t ,” and Col. Morris himself,
| listen, so that Cross promptly left him Miss Marshall. I most compliment yon
w ho had with much deliberate dignity
“Not this time." said the cook, as he
on such wisdom and discretion. Yon incident betokens speedy death for some
to his own devices. The representative should
inmate of the bouse.
have been a lawyer.”
o f manner marched oat in front of the
{ of The Palladium had sense enough not |
ICesT*5
h ai inSO * p*tU* ~ Detro1' Fre*
fro be ooHTUiLnaj
ÀN ARMY PORTIA.
¿Éà
ill
11
'
i
à B i f G
'111
You've seen
twice.
These vagaries of fate.
The thinner Johnny thinks the ice.
The worse he wants to skate.
"In love? I guess not!" "Hoti
you know?" "They ne' er sit siicu|
a minute!”
He ito elderly young lady, al ■ a
long waltzi—You must cave
splendid dancer!—Punch.
Duzhy—What's ln that bottle,
son? Dooby—I guess there musl
there Isn't any label on it.—Itnxi
Gazette.
Yeast—Do yon give you:' dog nil]
erclse? Crlmsonbeak—Oh, yea; he
for a tramp nearly every day.- -Yon
Statesman.
She—1. wish you wouldn’t smoke
II
cigarette in my presence. Ho
i'll throw It away. “On, I didn't
ip in
that."—Life.
iblo. .
“Tommy, do you love your teadij ^ *,,
“I would If she w asn’t my tea. worj(|
said Tommy. "She’s aw ful nlce,’-1HI)e,1(
dlanapolis Journal.
j cap
The safe flew open, and there iiisid thin
A receipted gas bill lay.
iiitig
The batlled burglar shook his hend, jj :
"I've come a little too late!" he
thici.
And lie mournfully turned away.
—Chicago Tribune.
She—I have heard that you said 1 , ?°D.
. . . .
, ,
had a
fond of the sound of my own f . ..
He—Well, you have yourself adiiil.
that you like music.—P b ilu ile lS B F
Record.
She—I think I will do the cook ln ^ ^ H u
self awhile. He—H’ui. That was ilulnin
you wanted me to take out more lif*it, §Bei
surance for, was It Y— Indianapolis J t an
nul.
K t
Crlmsonbeak—Are you tfoln»: to im Jik
masquerade? Yeast—Yes; I expect
“How ure you Koiutf?” “Holng !
“That’ll be uo disguise.“—Yonll
Statesman.
'
’Tis sweet to love;
And it’s just honey
To love a girl
^
With lots of money.
—Kansas City Journal.
“Did you tind that he was a rclnttol
“Oh, yes—unmistakably.” “How
that?” “He borrowed $1 from in* »ndi jy j'
most before I had introduced myi ’on
—Chicago Record.
°
Maud—What a fool you were
of yourself in imitating Charley
er. E thel—W ill you tell me If *|0
could im itate him iu any viuu.
otb.r . -
ner?— Boston T ranscript.
ill
Maude—You w ouldn’t know my hf ï :
now if you m et him. Nell -Why,
changed so m uch as th a t?
the l
T h at isn't it exactly. I’ve Hiaiiifcjjrt:
him.—Philadelphia Record.
of
“ A wood-sawing contest for women!' sed. '
T hat seems up-to-date and quite patl As ai
The “sawing,” 1 hear, was successful-Qlupi w
But the “say nothing” part, how fbaekw;
H .c
—New York Recorder.
^ K ro1
Poetleus—H ave you rend S ts ^ ^ K lW.
penre's "L ove's L abor Lost ?" Cyni ,e eci> 1 i
—No; Imt I’ve taken a girl to the tfa )w
a te r. and had her talk to th e m an B ^ ^ « to I
her all through the show .—New H clock
H erald.
i
"Doctor. I w ant n tooth pulled. 1 it
a g reat cow ard w hen It comes to end^Hhen
lng pain, and yet I'm afraid of lM0i£ of
laughing gas and chloroform .”
plight be happy with ether."—Chic
Tribune.
D ealer—T his violin, madam, ls |
Stradivarius. It is nearly 200 ye
old. Mrs. N ew rleh—Y'ou don't supp
I would take th a t? I can afford I
latest style, let me tell you.—Phil*
phia Record.
Oh. “busy bee,” exalted so.
We'd work like you. we vow.
If we could loaf six months or so ;g f,
As you are hotting now.
j % )10,
—Washington Post.
j.
May—They tell me your e n g ag e m ^ ^ « |l |[u
with C harley Gunipleigh is hrok^H
How did It happen? (,'arrie—It i*Jiat [ot t
g reat m ystery. The fact is. he was
fresh to keep; th a t's all.—Boston T rs |
script.
He 1 who lias ts»eu trying to get ridl
her maiden a u n t for the last hoUlf
Y'onr a u n t rem inds m e of the
fender." She Defender, wliy? H i
Because she is a single sticker.—Re
lyn Life.
Y'enst—Men turn somersaults
horseliaek; I suppose before long
see them doing It on the bicycle. Cll
sonheak Why. m u alive] that w asl
tirst tiling I did on a wheel.—Y'oofct
Statesm an.
"How did you get Borely out of J
whist club—did yon ask him to resig
"No; we didn't like to do that; but«
all resigned except Borely. and
we all got together and formed a I
club."—Harper’s Bazar.
“Ah!" exclaimed the cannibal i
smacking his lips, “what kind
minister was that we had for dinn
"Your excellency," replied his comp
Ion, “I should say he was a prime I
Ister."—Y'onkers Statesman.
"H hat kind of a man is Skin
Does he do much in the way of t
saining?" "Entertaining! Why.
ner is a good enough fellow in hi* ’
but he thinks too mnch o f bis
to spend it in feeding people.
I don't believe Skinner is bosplll
enough n entertain a grudge."—I
T ranscript.
M