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About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (May 26, 1916)
HER mm Outdid All Her Former Successes as Matchmaker Extraordinary. By LAWRENCE ALFRED CLAY. (CVpyrlght, 1916, by the MoCture Newspa per Syndicate.) It was eald of Aunt Mary Baker of Wellsvllle, shortly before she died at a good old age, that she bad nude more matrimonial matches than any five women In the state combined. She was only thirty-five years of age wheh her husband died, and In stead of looking solemn for a year and then marrying again, which she could have done, she said to herself: "No, no. There Is work to be done and my mission shall be to do It." Did she mean that she was going Into the cause of temperance? That she was going to smash show win dows and set bouses afire in the cause of woman's rights? That she was going to work up a taste for mutton InBtead of missionary In the cannibal islands? That she was go ing to furnish a hundred bucksaws and a like number of sawbuks and coax the tramps of America to take off their coats and get up a sweat? Nothing of the sort. She wasn't even going to give a turkey dinner to one hundred poor families and give half of them a colic from overeating. Aunt Mary's mission was to be the bringing together of loving hearts and stand by them until a minister had made one heart out of the two. The hearts wouldn't be loving hearts ex actly until brought face to face, as It were. They would first be lonely and discouraged hearts. She didn't propose to meddle with the male and female who - stood a fair chance with their natural attrac tions, but to search out those on whom nature had vented her spite by giving them homely faces, lop shoul ders, protruding teeth, bowlegs and other handicaps. It was not only a merciful mission, but a glorious one. Aunt Mary was called home at the age of Beventy-two, and the number of matches she had arranged since she took up the business averaged two per year. She lived with ralatlves, who found no fault with her whim, and she drove about the country with an old horse and buggy looking for despairing hearts, Many a widow would have been glad of her assist ance, but she would not give It. When she had heard of a homeless old maid, living from five to twenty miles away. Aunt Mary would drive to the address and introduce herself. "I have come to arrange a marriage for you." "But I am so homely that no man ever even walked home Irom prayer meeting with me," might be the re ply. "YeB, you are very, very homely, but I hope to find a husband for you. He will be as homely as you are, but you must expect that. Homely men and women make the best husbands and wives. You look to me to be a good-hearted woman." "They say I am." "Are you quick-tempered?" "No." "Good at housework?" "I am told so." "How about romance?" "I've got over expecting a prince to come along." "And the age Is about thirty-five?" "About that, but this is making a business of getting married, Isn't It?" "My dear," replied Aunt Mary, "h' you ware only eighteen you would fall in love with a young man becnuse he wore a cute necktie. A youth of twen ty would fall in love with you because you Bang alto. To make a sensible marriage' you must mingle business with it, at IcaBt enough to know how the first month's reut Is to be paid." "But who Is the man?" would be BBked. "I don't know yet, but I Bhall find one for you." And good Aunt Mary would go driv ing about the country asking: "Do you happen to know of a homely wid ower or old batch?" "How homely must he be?" "Well, homely enough to scare a cow out of the rond. If he isn't so very homely in the face then ho must have bowlegs and be humpbacked." And she would hear of a man that might 1111 the bill, and she would trull him down and talk to him, and it gen erally ended in a marriage. It was said that she had only three failures iu all those years, and one of them bcrause an old muld fell Into a well and froze to death. At length Aunt Mary set out to make her last match. She didn't know that It was to be her last, but she realized that she had grown old. She bad run across an old forty-year-old that for homeliness beat all who had gone before She took a sensible view of the situation, however.' "With my homely face I could not expect a man to marry me unless he wanted to exhibit me as a side show freak," the maid admitted. Then you are aware of your looks?" "When I can drive the pigs out of the garden by merely showing my face at a broken window pane, hadn't I ought to be aware?" "Hut it Isn't the handsomest wife that makes home the happiest. Na ture gives every man and woman a feeling that they want a home. Even the birds have that feeling a homely bird as well as a handsome one. Some man is waiting for you to help make a home.' Then he'd better hurry up before the Judgment day arrives!" laughed the old maid. At Aunt Mary had about resolved that this should be her lust case, and as her eyes told her that this was the homeliest woman In the United States, ber pride as a match-maker was aroused. She had heard of an extraordinarily homely man fifty miles away, and started to drive there. When twenty miles from home she met a man in a buggy and be called out to her: "Hello, Aunt Mary 1 was bound for your house." "Wanted to see me, eh?" "I did and do. Two years ago I married a girl for her good looks. She didn't know as much as a cat about housework, and she was bad tempered and lazy. In six months she eloped with a drummer." "And you pursued them and killed him?" queried Aunt Mury. "Well, I never heard that I did. If I had pursued it would have been to thank them both! I applied for a di vorce Instead and got It." "And now you want another wife?" "Yes, but not a good-looking one. I don't want her even plain looking. Indeed, I want her homely." "My mission, as you know, has been to bring two homely people together, but" "I want you to make an exception In my case. I am a farmer, and live at tli o crossing of two prominent high ways. There Is not an hour In the day that a tin peddler, chicken buyer or agent of some sort or other Is not calling to chin with the wife. I know that the one who ran away with the drummer had sixteen offers to elope before he came along." "And you want a wifo that will scare everybody away?" "That's It." "Well, I have on hand and ready for Immediate delivery an old maid that will either delight your heart or scare you out of the county. I have seen the homeliest in the land, and she takes the medal over all." "Has she lost a leg or an arm?" "No." "Good-tempered?" "A homely woman Invariably Is." "Know how to bake beans," "I am sure she is a good house keeper." "One more quostlon," said the man. "Does she snore?" "I will guarantee that she does not." He then told Aunt Mary all she wanted to know and repeat to the other party, and a date waB arranged for the meeting. "Remember, if she isn't mightly homely It's no marriage!" warned the man as they parted. "You'll have to go to Africa to find a homelier one!" laughed Aunt Mary. The date came for the meeting. The man was on time. Aunt Mary was there to make the Introduction. The couple shook hands and then stood back and looked at each other. A shade of disappointment settled on each face. Aunt Mary was quick to observe It. "Well, Isn't she homely enough?" "Why, she's a good-looking woman," was the reply. "You led me to be lieve that shewas a fright to see." "And Bhe led me to believe that you were a fine looking man!" added the old maid. Aunt Mary sat down from the weak ness of her knees. She had never met such a case before. Three or four minutes went past and then she loos ened a bit of pink ribbon pinned to a curtain and held it up. "What's the color?" "Green!" was the prompt reply of one. "Blue!" was promptly replied by the other. Aunt Mary was saved. They were color blind. Well, I did want a fine looking huBbnnd," said the old maid, "but they Bay a man with a face like a Bquash is always a good man." And I didn't want another hand some wife, but I'm no kicker," added the man. "I'll get a shotgun and a bulldog, and I guess we can keep the fellers away." They had the thing turned about, but they married and have lived very happily, but the husband wonders now and then why even a chicken buyer never calls at the house. Wastage and the Consumer. Oversupply cuts prices, especially when the product Is perishable. But, the glutting of city markets with country produce does not lower the cost of living. On the contrary, the consumer pays for the necessary wast age. Co-operation among farmers and co-ordlnntnti In distribution is there fore as much to the advantage of the city dweller as of the producer. This is the moral pointed by Doctor Meeker before the American Economic associ ation. The unorganized condition of the farming industry is one of the causes of the high cost of living. The agricultural departments of nation and state are busy teaching the farmer how to raise bigger crops, how to se cure better yields of garden truck. This alone Is teachlug him how to lose more money and how to Increase the cost of living In the city, When these governmental agencies teach the farm ers how to market their crops we will have the apparent contradiction of higher profits for the farmer and lower cost of living for the city folk. New York Evening Mall, What It Amounts To. Lawyer So you want to start di vorce proceedings against your hus band? On what grounds? Client Incompatibility, artistic tem perament and psychic cruelty. Lawyer In other words, your hus band is not making enough money to J suit you? Puck. y IB N INTERESTING account of the birds observed during a trip in Alaska has been published by the Smithsonian Institution, as reported by F. Seymour Hersey, who was In the field for A. C. Bent, collect ing data and photographs for the com pletion of the "Life Histories of North American Birds." Leaving Seattle on the revenue cut ter Bear, the party steamed northward through the "inside passage," where the scenery was delightful all the way to Ketchikan. From that point the Bear passed through Dixon's entrance and headed for Unalaska. As they neared Unlmak pass various members of the tublnares, or tube-nosed birds, were noticed, together with sooty shearwaters, petrels and albatrosses. As they approached the pass the num ber of birds increased to a point al most beyond belief. As far as the eye could see masses of birds were bedded on the water; murres and puffins were everywhere. "It was utterly impossi ble to form any definite estimate of the number of birds seen," says the author; "hundreds of thousands does not exaggerate their abundance." The ship seems to !ave literally plowed Its way through them. The Bear lay at Unalaska three days, during which time Mr. Hersey collected a number of species peculiar to that locality. After touching at St. George and St. Paul Islands, they proceeded on to Nome, which port the Bhlp did not ac tually reach on account of the ice, but anchored out in the stream and sent the mail ashore by dog teams. To the Yukon In Open Boat. At St, Michael Mr. Hersey left the Bear and made arrangements with the owner of a small open power boat to carry him and his outfit to the mouth of the Yukon river. They went through the so-called "canal" between St. Michael Island and the mainland, but encountered a severe storm which forced them to land and encamp for three days. Birds were plentiful in the neighborhood of the camp and Mr. Hersey employed the time to good ad vantage, securing many specimens of eggs. Proceeding onward, they arrived at the mouth of the Yukon and estab lished their headquarters at the wire less station, eight miles from the na tive village of Kotllk. The country all around Is reported very flat, making a safe feeding ground for the little brown cranes and geese, since it was Impossible to approach them unob served. In describing it, Mr. Hersey says: "So bare and level is the coun try that a photograph of the river, taken from the shore, shows the op posite bank as nothing but a straight line, such as might be made across the print with a rulor and a coarse stub pen." Here the author remained dur ing the greater part of the breeding season. He found pintails and several species of shorebirds breeding abun dantly; gulls, terns and jaegers com mon, and redpolls, Alaska yellow wag tails, willow ptarmigan and Alaska longspurs also well represented in this region. Delayed In the Ice Of? Barrow. Later in the summer he returned to Nome and again embarked on the Bear, which stopped at many points along tht coast, among which were Golovin bay, Cape Prince of Wales, Cape Dyer, Point Franklin and Bar row. Before reaching Barrow they encountered considerable ice and were delayed ten days en route. At Barrow, the northernmost point of this trip, the ice conditions were so bad they only remained long enough to land the mall and take aboard several men who had been caught in the ice the pre vious season and obliged to winter at Barrow. Among the newcomers was W. S. Brooks of the Polar Bear party, who had been collecting for the Museum ot Comparative Zoology. As soon as the ship was out of the Ice her course was changed to west and an effort was made to reach Wrangel island, where the ship wrecked crew of the Karluk was known to have wintered, but after try ing tor ten days in fog, snow and gen eral bad weather, they gave it up and put back to Nome for coal, stopping at several places on the way. Mr. Hersey mi (A left the Bear at Nome and took pas sage on the steamship Victoria to Se attle. It Is Interesting to note the fact that Mr. Hersey found the Aleutian tern, which has always been scarce and which was recently thought to be ex tinct. Altogether he encountered about one hundred of them and collect ed several specimens. This bird is larger and much darker than the com mon Arctic tern and has a peculiar white forehead. Another rare bird mentioned Is Fish er s petrel, once ' represented In museum collections by a single speci men, and now by only three or four. Although they have been observed fre quently, they are bard to collect and their nesting places are not known. The Aleutian sparrow Is one of the most interesting birds seen, being one of the twenty or more varieties of this family that cover the United States from east to west, occurring in British America and Alaska as well. In the islands of Alaska it reaches its great est development, being very much larger than the ordinary North Ameri can sparrow and sometimes as large as a catbird. Even the barn swallow-was seen on the trip; this bird is a true migratory bird, traveling from this point as far south as Argentina and Chile in the winter months. ENGLISH CORPORAL A SLEUTH Officer Attended Meeting of Men Who Were Trying to Evade Con scription. Corporal Ayres of the Queen's West Surrey regiment described at theRel- gate military tribunal how be man aged to gain admission to a private meeting held in a large house in a fashionable portion of the town, at which there were present a number of young men. It had come to his knowledge, the corporal added, that meetings were held for the deliberate purpose of obstructing the military service act The young men and the host quoted Scripture to prove that it was against the will of Christ to take up arms, and he cited Scripture to prove the contrary. He came away thoroughly convinced that the gather ing was for the purpose of assisting the young men to get out of doing military service. A young man of twenty-four, a gro cer's assistant, the applicant for ex emption on conscientious grounds, de clined to say if the meeting, which be had attended, was held for the pur pose of assisting people to formulate claims for exemption. The mayor asked: "You say you are a disciple ot Jesus Christ, and yet you will not tell the truth?" "If you accuse me of telling a lie I refuse to argue with you," the ap plicant replied. Exemption was refused. The may or remarked that the young man was evidently suffering from a dis ordered mind. London Telegraph. Clever Beggars. Crust throwers, those strangely clever beggars who carry dry bread, throw It nto the streets at the psy chological moment and hurl them selves on it with wild cries, object, sympathy and alms, have rivals in the soap eaters, who are said to ruin their health by the diet for the purpose ot gaining sympathy and undeserved charitable assistance. Two soap eat ers recently arrested in New York were asked what ailed them and each shoved forth a feebly held card, dne reading, "A Victim of Tuberculosis" and the other, "Help Deaf, Dumb and Starving." Their pockets were well lined with small silver coins. Conveniences for Travelers. In order to keep its patrons advised of the whereabouts of the street cars they may be awaiting, the Durham (N. C.) Traction company has ar ranged for the erection of large clock faces at street intersections, instead of hours and minutes being displayed, as on the ordinary clock, the Bands will follow the car on Its trips, show ing the prospective passenger what his approximate wait will be. ALWAYS A STAPLE PUDDING Good Rations Why Rice Cooked With Milk H Remained a Favorite) 8o Many Year. There la perhaps so other pudding of equally great food value which Is bo Inexpensive and palatable as the eggless rice pudding, or creamy rice pudding, as It is often called. It Is but one of the several excellent ways of cooking rice with milk, but It does lend itself better to changes of flavor than any of the other ways, so may be used frequently without monotony. Baked In Individual dishes with rath er gentle beat, and for at least an hour and a half, with several stirrings in of the crust which forms on the top, creamy rice pudding is an attractive dessert, made more so by baking it In glass and finally adding a meringue. It is about equally good whether hot or cold. More than this, a conslder ble number of variations can be made without once adding an acid fruit which makes it less digestible. The long baking makes It both more di gestible and palatable, and it is dainty of flavor if just the stlrred-tn top is all to give this. The Recipe. To each cupful of milk allow one tablespoonful of rice and one of sugar, or more if to taste, and one piece of candied ginger about an inch and a halt long. Butter pudding dish, put into it the well-washed rice and milk, with sugar and the ginger cut In bits, bake in moderate oven for one hour and a half, stirring in the top at least three times. BRIOCHE IS SOMETHING NEW Guests at Luncheon or Tea Will Be Sure to Appreciate This Deli cacy, Properly Made. One cake yeast, one-halt cupful milk, scalded and cooled, two tablespoon fuls sugar, four cupfuls sifted flour, one cupful butter, eight eggs, one tea spoonful salt. Dissolve yeast and one tablespoon ful sugar in luke-warm milk, add one cupful of flour to make sponge. Beat well. Cover and set to rise In warm place, free from draft, until light about three-quarters of an hour. To the rest of the flour add one ta blespoonful sugar, butter softened, tour eggs and salt. Beat all in well. Add sponge and beat again thorough ly; then the other four eggs, unbeaten, one at a time, beating thoroughly. Cover and let rise until light about tour hours, and beat again. Chill In refrigerator overnight. In the morning, shape by rolling under hand into long strips about 27 inches long and three-fourths inch thick, bringing ends together, and twist like a rope. Form into rings, place on well buttered pans to rise. When double in size, glaze with white of egg diluted with water. Bake in a moderate oven fifteen minutes. Ice while hot, with plain frosting. Spread with almonds. Fried Cream. One pint of milk, one-half cupful of sugar, one-half teaspoonful of butter, yolks of three eggs, two and one-quarter teaspoonfuls of cornstarch, one tablespoonful of flour, one teaspoonful of vanilla, a pinch of salt. Put the milk into the double boiler with the salt and a small piece of lemon rind. When scalded add the sugar then cornstarch and flour which have been moistened in a little milk; stir until it Is thickened, then pour it over the beaten yolks. Return to the stove for 'hree minutes. Add the butter and vanilla and strain into a flat dish, making a layer three-quarters of an Inch thick. It should be made the day before it is to be used. When ready to cook cut into pieces three inches long and two wide. It should be cut with a broad knife blade and handled very carefully. Cover each piece with sifted cracker crumbs, dip in egg and sprinkle again with crumbs. They must be completely covered. Fry in hot fat to an amber color, lay them on a brown paper in the open oven to dry, aprinkle with powdered sugar and serve on a folded napkin. The crust should be crisp and the center creamy. Mother's Meat Cakes. Wish someone would try my moth er's meat cakes as a way of using leftover lamb. Take pieces left from either lamb or beef, put through meat chopper, season with salt and pepper, a little onion if liked and butter or gravy to make moist. Cook these In a saucepan until thoroughly blended. A few minutes is sufficient. Let cool and form into cakes. Set away in a cool place an hour or more. Make a batter of egg and milk and flour and a little baking powder. Dip in the cakes and fry a nice brown. Hot Chocolate Sauce. One cupful of boiling water, one square or four large tablespoonfuls ot chocolate, pinch of salt, half cupful of sugar, one teaspoonful of vanilla. Cook all together slowly until it is the con sistency of maple sirup, or thicker if desired. Just before serving add one teaspoonful of vanilla. This will keep indefinitely and can be reheated. Larded Sweetbreads. Put them In cold water, remove the pipes and membranes; cook them in boiling salted water, with one table spoonful of lemon juice, 20 minutes and plunge Into cold water to harden; dry, lard them with strips of salt pork and bake until brown, basting with brown stock. Serve with peas. Cup Cake. One cupful butter, two cupfula sugar, four cupfuls flour, half cupful milk, five eggs and a pinch of soda, WITH APPLE AS BASIS SUGGESTIONS FOR 8EVERAL AP PETIZING CONFECTION8. In Addition to Its Medicinal Virtues, the Fruit Forms One of the Best Foundations for Innumerable Delicacies. Anole Cobbler. Pare and quarter enough tart apples to fill a baking dish three-fourths full. Cover with a ricn baking powder biscuit dough made soft enough to Btir, spread it over the apples without rolling. Make several cuts in the center to allow the steam to escape. Bake lor three-quarters oi an hour and serve not with sugar anu rich cream. Coddled Apples. Take tart, ripe apples of uniform size, remove the cores. Place the fruit In the bottom of a porcelain kettle; spread thickly with sugar; cover the bottom of the kettle with water and allow the ap ples to simmer until tender. Pour the sirup over the apples and serve cold. Apple Conserve. For each pound of quartered and pared apples allow three-quarters of a pound of sugar and half a pint of water. Boil sugar and water until a rich sirup is formed; add the apples and simmer until clear. Take up carefully, lay on plates and dry in the sun. Roll In Bugar and pack in tin boxes lined with waxed paper, Apple Compote and Orange Marma lade. Boll 12 tart apples in one quart ot water until tender, strain through a jelly bag; add one pound of granu lated sugar and let boll. While boil ing add 12 apples, cored and pared. When the apples are tender, drain ' them carefully in a perforated skimmer. Boil the sirup until It jells; fill the ap ples with orange marmalade and pour the sirup over them. Serve with whipped cream. Crab Apple Marmalade. Wash and core crab apples and put them through the meat chopper. Put into a pre serving kettle and add water until It shows through the top layer of apples. Cook until soft. Weigh and add an equal weight of sugar. Cook until the mixture forms a jelly when cooled and pour into sterilized glasses. Cover with paraffin. Apple Custard. Beat the yolks of four eggs and add one-half cupful of sugar; cook for one or two minutes and remove from the fire. Gradually add one pint of grated apple. Pour into a serving dish and cover with a meringue made of the well-beaten whites of four eggs and three table- spoonfuls of powdered sugar. Cheese Croquettes. Make a white sauce, using two ta- blespoonfuls of butter, one-third cup ful of flour, two-thirds cupful of milk. Add one-fourth teaspoonful of salt, paprika, the yolks of two eggs, one half cupful cream cheese, grated, and one cupful of cream cheese cut in small pieces. Cool, shape, allowing one rounding tablespoonful to each croquette, and roll in balls. Add two tablespoonfuls of cold water to the whites of the eggs, dip in crumbs pre pared by drying the bread, and put ting through the meat chopper. Dip. in the egg, then in crumbs again. Fry in deep fat and drain on brown paper. This is a very hearty dish, good for hard labor, indoors or out Honey Cakes. One cupful butter or three-quarters cupful manufactured shortenings; one and one-half cupfuls honey, one tea spoonful soda, three eggs, three cup fuls flour, two cupfuls raisins chopped, one teaspoonful salt, one and one-half teaspoonfuls cinnamon, one-half tea spoonful nutmeg, two cupfuls nut meats. Cream the butter. Warm the honey, dissolve soda in it 'and mix with butter. Then add flour, which has been sifted with the salt and. spices. Last of all, add raisins and nuts. Drop by teaspoonfuls on but tered baking sheets and bake in mod erate oven. Mother's Magazine. Attractive Dessert. The ingredients needed for this are a pint of cream, the white of one egg, half a cupful of sugar, half a cupful of nuts, chopped fine; 12 figs and six dates. Beat the cream until stiff with the white of egg. Sweeten this, add the nuts and fruit, the latter cut in small pieces. Mix all thoroughly and put into a wet mold. Cover tight ly and pack in salt and ice for four hours. This quantity will serve eight people. Veal In a Mold. This is a dish that can be prepared the day before and can be served cold for the next day's luncheon or din ner. Boil a knuckle of veal until ten der. Pour on the water in which it was boiled and mince the veal. Add the minced veal to the Juice and pour In a mold. Add thin slices of hard boiled egg and place in a cool place, and when cold place on the ice. Servo on a platter garnished with parsley. Apricot Pie ds Lux. Soak apricots over night in cold wa ter, fill pie plate as you would apple pie, but do not put In any undercrust, then add one-halt cupful sugar, a few dots of butter and some cinnamon. Cover with a rich crust and bake. Serve while warm and cover with whipped cream. Frankfurter Sausage. - Put the sausage in a saucepan to the side of the stove, let them remain ten minutes without boiling, the serve.