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About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 17, 1915)
ANNOUNCEMENT to onr patrons throughout the I'aclllo Northwaat: portland's popular HOTEL OREGON hai (wan placed under tin manag-ament of N. K. Clarke, who waa for many yare eonneetwl with the Portland, Cornnllua ml Seward Hotels, and who will always extend to all a cordial wolcomo. Comnwnclnc Nuvumber Ut wa ahall In uturau tha American plan In oonnecUon With tha European plan. Wa aollclt your iiatronaga, American Plan, f3 to $5 per day. European Plan, $1 per day up. ' N. K. CLARKE, Mgr. NO MEDICINE ' Ifyouara alllnar In anyway, and want help, writ ma. DR. L. M. DAVIS, 12 Ruaaal itraat, Portland, 0 retro n. Double Tread Puncture Proof Tires Made from your old onaa. Laat long aa Urand Near TlltKS Writ ua. OKKGON VULCANIZING CO., MO Washington St., Portland, On. LEARN WATCHMAKING Ploaaant, pnilltabla work not ovardono; few montha' learning; poaltlona guarantm-d: writs for Kforencea and partlculura. Portland Watchmak ing, Kmcravinic and Optical School, 218 Common wealth building. Portland, Oregon. Dalles Columbia Line Winter Schedule, Nov. 25 to Mar. 15. Steamera J. N. Teal and Twin Cltiea for Kenne- wick, Paaco, Wnllula, Umntilla, Arlington, Tho Dallca, Lyle, Hood Kiver, White Salmon, Carson, Stevenson, Cancnde Ixickn. Lcnvo Portland Tuee. daya and Fridays at 11 p. m. Freight and pasaen Kera, Landing Taylor St. Dock, Portland. Fault of the Clerk. The court clerk was examining an applicant for citizenship papers. Un fortunately the clork didn't ask his questions in the order in which the man from across the seas had been taught the answers. "Do you speak English?" asked the clerk. "Sure, Mike," was the answer. "How long have you been in this country?" "Michigan." "How tall are you?" "Forty years." The clerk sighed. "I think you'd better got an Interpreter," he said. New York World. D A TDTTG Farmers Builders Plana, details, specifications and bill of quantities for a modern Barn, $2.00. Build your Barn right. Plana contain complete and valuable information for yourself or contractor on a barn that 'la of the most modern and economical construction. State ' whether you want plans for a 14, 22 or 30-atall barn and remit money order. T. H. BENTLEY, 605 McKay Bldg., Portland. Or. Simple Method. "Don't you come ac-oss a good many things in the Bible that yon don't understand, Srlke the problem of Cain's wife, for instance?" queried the layman. "Oh, yes, of course," acknowledged the clergyman. "Well, what do you do about It?" "My dear friend," replied the minis ter, laying down his fork, "I simply do just as I would while eating a nice fresh herring. When I come to the bone I quietly lay it on one side, and go on enjoying the meal, letting any idiot that insists on choking himself with the bone do so." Stick to Your Intention. Don't put off getting Hanford's Bal aam of Myrrh until something hap pens. Get it now and be prepared for accidents. You will find frequent use for it in your home and in your stable for cuts, burns, bruises and any sore, atny lameness. Adv. Relaxation Due. "Don't you find it rather lonely since your boy Josh went back to school?" "Yes." replied Farmer uorntossei "but it's kind o' restful. Josh has been educatln' me an' mother so much that we need our turn at takin' a va cation, same as he did." Washington Star. HOWARD K BURTON - Amayer an Cnemlat, Inilvilln. rVlnrnln. Rneriman Dricec! Gold. Silver. Lend, SI. Gold. Silver, Urn; Gold. 60o: Zino or Copper. 1. Mailing envelope a id full prloeliat Ent on application, control ana umpire imw sited, lief eraneOT Chrbonate National Bonk. Doesn't Evaporate. "We must get some ammonia in the house. Every household ought to ave on hand a quick stimulant." "Whisky answers the purpose," he suggested. "But ammonia keeps better," said she, significantly. Kansas City Jour- nal. Diplomatic. "That fellow Miggs is a pretty smooth proposition." "Yes?" "Why, he got his wife jollied into believing that she is the only one in the family who knows bow to run a furnace. tlaye Healthy. Strong?. Beautiful Ere Oculists and Physicians used Murine Eye Remedy many years before it was offered as a Domestic Eye Medicine. Murine is Still Com' pounded by Our Physicians and guaranteed by tbem as a Reliable Relief for Eyes that Need Care. Try it In your Eyes and In Baby's Eyes No Smarting Just Eye Comfort. Buy Murine 1 of your Druggist accept no Substitute, and if Interested write for liooK of the eye jrree. HUBINH KVB KKMltUlf CO. C11ICAUO Sad Self-Consciousness. "What are you going to wear to the fancy dress party?" "I dunno," replied Mr. Cumrox. "I guess I'll go as a clown, and then if I do something that makes the guests snicker maybe mother an' the girls'll think I'm doing It apurpose. Wash' ington Star. Irresistible. The Swell Guest Your cook is a very handsome girl. The Shrewd Host She Is. She Slashes the potatoes by simply look ing at them. Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. HERE ARE the FACTS Plates and bridge made in my own laboratory. Office absolutely clean. Instrument thoroughly iter- Uizd. Prices rpaflonable. Work iruaranteed. Constant endeavor to do work painlessly. Nurse in attendance. Dr. Elof T. Hedlund DENTIST Maria BalMlnf. 4th Floor. Washlnrteei Near Broadway. rsrtlaM. vngom. F. N. V. No. SO, 191S 1OTHEN wrKhaf to adrartlacra, (tease aiaa- o J2 I I kl II i II m lJ II I I Il ft J ft. V W 1 11 AN ISLAND of fragrant spices, a land of enchantment that fulfills the romantic dreams of youth, a veritable paradise of emeraia venture, noraerea oy the Bheen waters of a tropical sea that 1b Ceylon. And of Colombo, what can be said? It is there that the world travelers from the four winds meet; it is there that one bears the languages of almost every land in the two hemispheres spoken, writes W. D. Hornaday in Grit. In no city of the world is there to be found day by day a more cosmopoli tan transient population than in Col ombo. It is a port of call for many steamships that ply regularly between points In the far East and Europe, and between Australia, New Zealand and Europe. It is there one meets elephant and tiger hunters of India, tea plant ers, spice buyers, officers of the army and navy of many nations, wool buy ers who pass to and fro between England, Prance and the far-off lands of Australia and New Zealand. The island kings the cocoanut princes from the coral dots of the Indian ocean and the South Seas gather there for a season of social pleasures; the American millionaire comes into the harbor in his yacht and lends to the gayety of the scene ashore by the prodigal way In which he scatters his money around. ' Every Singalese man and boy is a natural merchant and trader. From the youngest to the oldest they ever have an eye to business. Even the street arabs little fellows not yet In their 'teens have an ability to size up the white visitor with a degree of ac curacy that Is almost uncanny. On the way to the post office I was surrounded and followed by crowds of men and boys, all wanting me to step in their shops. It is remarkable bow shrewd and smart these natives are. How they could tell I was an Ameri can I am unable to say, but it was not unusual for one of them to say: "Marster, step In and let me show 3TRKT. 5CLNC you things very fine; make mos' beau' ful present for marster's family in America." "I said to one of them: "What do you mean by calling me an American? I live in Bombay," The youngster smiled knowingly and replied: "Oh, no; me know marster Is Amer ican me can tell." "How can you tell?" I asked. The fellow shrugged his shoulders and smiled, but did not explain the se cret. Coming to a long rowof waiting rickshaws, I selected one. The puller of the vehicle could talk some English and I gave him directions that I want ed to go to Mount Lavinia, the Cinna mon gardens, the Buddhist temple and through different parts of the city. The charge was a shilling an hour. He started off at a brisk trot and kept it up for several miles. QUESTION EASY TO ANSWER Inquiry Presented No Problem at All to Children Still In the Lower "Grades. Dr. Samuel McGaughey of Irving ton was one of the many school inspec tors selected to give ten-minute talks to school children on Disease Preven tion day. He had made talks to the seventh and eighth grades at school No. 47, which were assembled in one room, and to the fifth and sixth grades. His third End final talk was before the children of the third and fourth grades, where he bad planned a one syllable talk. ' "Now, children," he said, as he be gan bis talk, "how many of you know what day this is?" With one accord every hand in the room was raised. The doctor was astonished to think of the teacher who had been so tareful as to inform her pupils, and who bad so carefully explained all about dis ease prevention. "Then," continued the doctor, "yon mi tell me what day it is." I in , a mam Hfc Beggars beseeched me for coins along the route and once In a whllo a boy would throw a llower Into my lap and then trot along for some distance begging for a coin. The first stop was at the Mallgakande Buddhist temple. 1 alighted and went to the temple where I was met by a man In long, white robe and several bright little boys, each of whom was expectantly awaiting a tip. I started to enter the temple when the man Informed me In broken English that I must take off my shoes. In stantly a boy was down untying my shoes and when they were off 1 en tered the holy place. In the first room was an Image of Buddha. It is about twenty-five feet long and In a reclining position. Upon the walls of this and other rooms of the temple are paint ings representing various phases ot the religion. From the temple 1 was escorted to another building that is used as the Oriental college and li brary. It was a stuffy, ill-smelling room where I was shown ancient em blems and relics and shelves of books. There are motor cars to be had for hire in Colombo, but the favorite way of riding Is in a man-pulled rickshaw or in a little cart whlcli is pulled by what is known as a "racing hackery." This animal Is a little bullock that travels about twelve miles an hour The rickshaw men have wonderful en durance. They are quick to discover, however, whether their passenger Is a hard master. I found this out when I allowed my man to slow down and be gin loafing on his job. Unless 1 kept urging him to keep up his pace he killed as much time as possible. Kandy, the "Hill Capital." Besides the many beauty spots in and around the city there are strange ly interesting things to be seen in the native town of Pettah and along the drives that run through the tropical jungle. No visit to Ceylon is complete with out a sojourn in Kandy, the "hill capi tal" ot the wonderful island. It Is there at an altitude of 1,602 feet above Q O CJ LJ IN COLOMBO the sea level that the white residents of Colombo go for reBt and recupera tion from the enervating effects of a prolonged stay in the low-lying me tropolis. During the winter season the climate of Kandy is tempered with just enough coolness to make it a re sort for health and pleasure seekers. The town of Kandy does not occupy the most altitudlnous point in Ceylon, The wonderful town of Nuwara Ellya, which is located in the mountains 6, 240 feet above the sea, attracts many visitors who have plenty of leisure in which to view and thoroughly enjoy the magnificent scenery and strange attractions that the island possesses. There are a number of buried cities in the northern part of Ceylon, and these mysterious remains of a bygone age are of unfailing Interest to the traveler who has a liking for archeo loglcal research. The most famous of these ruins is that of Anuradhapurs, And with one accord the children shouted: "Friday!" Indianapolis News. One Impossibility. "If I had all the money, men and munitions I wanted I probably could achieve several notable victories," stated old Festus Pester. "1 believe I could get my steak In a restaurant cooked almost to my liking, be elect ed chairman of various committees, have" my inconsequential utterances chronicled by the press and wear as rowdy a waistcoat as my perverted taste might dictate, but I'll be dad- burned if I could prevent the sunny- souled John-donkey who habitually does such things from joining me on the street when I wish to be alone, grasping me heartily by the arm and calling me 'brother in endearing ac cents." Kansas City Star. In Way. "Here's JIggliis been boasting to me that be Is a great factor In the movie field. Is that so?" "In a fashion, f know he's changed bis residence six times this year. - WHOLE FAMILY OF BOOMERS Father, Mother,-Son and Daughter All Found Busily Engaged In Laying Out New Towns. The only occupant ot the Nebraska cabin was a girl about twelve years old, and when the colonel rode up and asked her the way to Scottsvllle she replied: "Dad might tell you if he was here, stranger, but dad's off over there lay in out a new town to boom." "And your mother?" "Mann might toll you if she was here, but marra's oft down this way laytn' out another new town to boom." Any brothers?" One, and that's Bill. Bill might toll you if he was here, but he's over the river layln' a third new town." "And how about you? Can't you di rect me?" "I might, stranger, If this wasn't my busy day. You see, I'm layln' out a hundred acres of this claim for a new town, and I've just made Mary Jane avenue run from hero to the creek. Want to speculate, stranger?" "No, I guess not. " 'Cause If you do I'll give you the first pick of lots along Mary Jane ave nue for (10 apiece and take half of it In store pay at that." "You seem to be a booming family, I observed, as I got ready to ride on. "You bet!" she heartily exclaimed. "Dad booms, marm booms, Bill booms, and I'm oither going to boom or tear down the shanty 1 Don't want any cor ner lots In the new town of Primrose, eh? All right, stranger. Selling for (10 now, but six months hence you can't buy 'em for $50, So long to you! Good-by! "Exchange. Problematical. "What's the value of that trunk?" Inquired the baggage man. "You mean my wife's trunk over there?" asked the man who was smok ing a Pittsburgh stogie in a gold mounted meerschaum holder. "Yes." "Well, my private opinion Is that the whole outfit ain't worth four dol lars. But If you had ever seen my wife get really riled Vou wouldn't lose it for a million." Getting at the Facts. Wife (after the honeymoon) Whj did you deceive me as to your in come? Husband I didn't, my dear. Wife Yes, you did. You told me you were getting $50 a week when you asked me to marry you. Husband You evidently misunder stood me. I said my position was worth $50 a week, and so it is, but for reasons best known to the bosB, ha giveB me only $10. The Day After. Mrs, Mixer Tell me the worst, doc tor. Is my husband s condition seri ous? Doctor There is no cause for alarm, madam; he is now out of danger, al though Buffering acutely from enlarge ment of the cerebral glands. Mrs. Mixer But, doctor, how do you suppose it was brought on? Doctor It was brought on a tray, probably. Too Thin. Officer Why, what's the matter with this? That's excellent soup." Private Yes, sir that's what we sez, sir. Officer Very well, then. What's the complaint? Private It ain't the soup, sir; it's tha cook. 'E calls It stew. London Punch. Friendly Advice. Saplelgh Weally, I aw have a notion to aw blow me bwalns out, doncher know. . Miss Cutting Indeed! Well, In case you do I'd advise you to say nothing about it afterward and no one will ever know the difference. A SWEET FACE. Big Sister And what did Jack have to say about me? Small Sister He said you had a very sweet face and asked me to find out what you put on it to make It that way. Make It Longer. Bill Do you believe brevity is the soul of wit? Jill Sure thing. "And I suppose that is the reason the English spell it humour." The Cause. Doctor You have had a great shock since I saw you last, your wife tells me. Patient Yes, doctor; it was your bill. Her Aim. "That pretty stenographer is laying her plans to marry you." "Oh, no; you are quite mistaken She only wants to be asslster to me.'1 Some Consolation. "Suppose the development of cotton should be arrested?" "But then, you know, It could al ways be baled." Too Easy. "Let's bet which will havo the pret tiest lawn at Ibe end of the season." "Now, you know, that bet would b sure to e-' In a hedging." CAP GETTING NUTS FOR COLONEL Gardener Is Coolly Informed by Stran ger He Was Gathering Nuts for Kernel, Not for Shells. Some time back a certain colonel's gardener was going through the woods belonging to his employer when he saw a man busy gathering nuts. As the colonel had glvon strict orders that no one was to be allowed to pick the nuts that year, as had hitherto boon the case, the gardener said to the man, "You'll have to clear out of this. I've got orders to keep all these nuts for the colonel this year." "It's all right," replied the man; "that's what I'm getting 'em for." Satisfied by the answer, the gar dener passed on. Meeting the same man a week after the occurrence, he said: "Look here, you were not get ting those nuts for the colonel at all." I tell you I was," was the emphatic reply. "But I know better. The colonel told me that he gave neither you nor anybody else any authority." Well, I knew jolly well I was get ting them for the kernel; I didn't want the shells." London Tit-Bits,- HAD A FIT. "The paper says that when the pres ent was given to hlra he responded fit tingly." "'Fittingly' Is a good word; he had a spasm while he was talking." , Fatal Fall. "So you have a Steeplejacks' union in this town?" "Yes." "How many members?" "Only two now. There were three at first, but there was a high wind one day and the third member dropped out." Maybe. "Montmorency, can your fiancee cook?" "No, mother, but she can paint beau tifully on china. She can paint the most natural grapes and peaches you ever saw." "Well, maybe looking at them will appease hunger when there Is no din ner ready." Pentateuchal Insurance. "Your age, please," said the insur ance solicitor. '"Nine hundred ninety-nine next birthday," replied Melchlzedek. "Pretty high rate, I'm afraid," said the insurance man. "Why didn't you come to me a couple of hundred years ago, and not put it off till you're mid dle aged?" Judge. Time's Changes. . Black Someone just told me that Miss Cayway'B ; mother won much fame for the delicate yarns she used to spin in olden days. White And Miss Gayway wins much fame for the Indelicate ones she spins in modern days. Judge. Delirious. ' The Wife Oh, doctor, I think Hen ry is much better this morning. He took my hand Just a minute ago and called me his own 'ittle tootsy wootsy, The Doctor The case is more seri ous than I thought. It's a very bad sign when a patient becomes delirious, Hereditary. "And when you grow up," said the visitor to five-year-old Elolse, "I sup pose you will get married?" "Oh, there's hardly any dotlbt about It," answered the little miss. "Every body says I'm Just like mamma, and she's been married three times, you know." When Love Is Remarkable. "Do vou think there is anythlne re markable In love at first sight?" asked the romantic youth. "Not at all!" answered the cynic "It's when pconle have been lookins at each other for four or five years that it becomes remarkable, Pear son's Weekly. . Kept Happy. "Yes, we went to California." "Did your wife enjoy the scenery In her trip across the continent? "I don't think she looked st much scenery. But she enjoyed herself, all right She looked at hats In eleves different states. Wlrsless Amateurs, ' There are now between 350,000 and 400,000 purely amateur -wireless sta tions in the United States, according to II. Qemsback, editor of the Elec trical Experimenter. There are not more than 15,000 such stations In all the rest of the world. And he goes on to explain the value of these hun dreds of thousands of amateurs, most ot whom are schoolboys, as follows: "The average amateur must needs have a higher Intelligence than his card playing, dance hall resorting classmate. Indeed, when your aver age radio amateur has mastered all the intricacies ot a. wireless set, he has obtained a pretty thorough knowl edge ot electricity In general. As a rule most ot our electrical Industries, big and little, require thoroughly prac tical young men, the ones who know bow to do things. This Is where the amateur shines, and nine times out ot 10 he lands the Job over the head of the untrained theoretical young man." The Children's museum of the Brooklyn institute has undoubtedly taught more boys the practical way to become wireless operators than any other one Institution, and the best evi dence of this Is the thousands of houses in Brooklyn that have wireless apparatus on their roofs. Made since 1846 Hanford's Balsam. Adv. Taking No Chances. A new regulation in a certain coal mine required that each man mark with chalk the number on every car of coal mined. One man, named Rudolph, having filled the eleventh car, marked it with a No. 1, and, after pondering a while, let It go at that. Another miner, happening to notice what he thought was a mistake, called Rudolph's attention to the fact he had marked the car No. 1 instead of 11. "Yes, I know," said Rudolph, "but I can't tlnk which side do odder wan go on." Acting Strangely. "What do you think of a man tryln' to break out of the penitentiary," ex claimed Plodding Pete. "One O rlRHA rpfnrm nnnWontlarlaa with amateur theatricals an' baseball games.'" inquired Meandering Mike. sure. . "He oucllt to break out. TTa Ann't belong In no penitentiary. He belongs in a lunauo asyium. wasmngton Star. Power of Politeness. "Honesty is the best nnllcv." aalil the ready-made philosopher. ui course it is." renl ed Mr.- Aus tin Stax. ' "But the public doesn't al ways realize it. MoBt people would rather be cheated a little In an affa ble way than do business with a per son whose conscience keeps him in a state oi irritation." Washington Star. For wire cuts use Hanford's Balaam. Adv. The Penalty. "What! Buvlne itinra s-olf xlntm I thought you had a pretty complete outfit before." "I have: but that mAAv nf mlno had the nerve to snicker when I top ped my drive yesterday, and I'm going to make him carry double weight." Constipation causes and aggravates many serious diseases. It is thoroughly cured by Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. The favorite family laxative. By Way of Apology. Mrs. Towe It's narfer-tlv aoan,lil. ous for you to wear a shorter bathing skirt. Miss Unda Towe But. have longer stockings. Judge. Favorite of Fortune. "She's a very intellectual looking Kirl." "Yes. Her father rtlln't nl bis money until after she had received ner eaucation. FOR DISTEMPER SPOHN MEDICAL CO. gmffiLgL Goshen, Ind., U. S. A. Making a Beginning. "Could you all lend me a grind stone?" asked Mr. Erastus Plnkley. "Yes; but what do you want with a grindstone? You haven't any ax." "No; ner I ain't got no wood to chop ylt, ner no chicken an' corn bread to cook over de fire. But you got to do one thing at a time in (lis life an' I Jea natchelly had to staht somewhere.' Washington Star. Embarrassing. First Stage Hand What was the row out front during the first scene, Bill? Second Stage Hand The' under study nursemaid got excited and car ried in the heroine's baby when it wasn't due to appear until three years later in the fourth act. Philadelphia Public Ledger. For thrush use Hanford's Balsam, Adv. Her Point of View. George You will make me a good wife, I know. Jane I know I will make you a good husband. Sydney Bulletin. Needed. Polly I believe Miss Yellowleaf actually prays for a man. Dolly Well, most men need pray ing for. Life. You are nervous. You have "crying spells." You are dejected. You don't sleep well. You have backache. You have lost ambition for your work. You are beginning to feel old and look old. These symptoms, more than likely, are produced by some weakness, derangement or irregularity peculiar to the feminine organism. Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription (i Tablet or Liquid Form) will aid you In regaining youthful health and strength just at It has been doing for over forty years for women who have been in the same condition of health you now find yourself. It soothes and Invigorates. It upbuildsand uplifts. Your medicine dealer will supply you In tablet or liquid form, or send SO one-cent stamps for trial box. Address Dr. V. M. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pelku regsjate Slooucb, Liver ud Bowels. Euv to take. t'-: Strength Past Fifty Years can be maintained' br adapting the right nourish ment, and Nature's owa oil. in Scott $ Emuuian hu strengthened thousands of men and women to continue their work and uefulnesi for many years. Scott's Emukion Is a food, a medi cine and a tonlo to keep the blood rich, avoid rheumatism and thwart nervous conditions. It Is free from alcohol or harm ful drugs. The best physicians nrnanrihA It. J l - .u iUJSIM.I.SlSJI.H.l..!l.JIJI.TSj Strictly Legitimate. "That feller Morgan Buttles Is ter rible unpopular," said one mountain eer. "We'll have to git rid o' him some how," replied the old moonshiner. "Yes. But we don't want to do nothln' In a way that ain't legitimate an' customary. You know he has p'lltical ambitions." "I've heard so. But he ain't got no pull." "Yes, he has. An' you an' your re lations want to stand back o' me when I put the case up to our congressman. We'll git Buttles app'lnted a revenue Inspector, an' then let nature take its course." Keep Hanford's Balsam in your sta ble. Adv. 8lmple Enough for Anybody. Patrick McCann hauled water from the river to the village. One day a passing stranger thought to have some fun at Patrick's expense. He asked: "How long have you hauled water for the village, my good man?" "Tin years sor." "Ah! How many loads do you take In a day?" "From tin to fifteen, sor." "Ah, yea. Now, i nave a promem for you. How much water, at this rate, have you hauled in all?" The driver ot the watering cart jerked his thumb backward to ward the river and replied: "All the water yez don't see there now, sor." The Old and Reliable Dr. Istv&cThorriDSons EYE WATER ! both a remedy for weak, inflamed 7M and an ideal eye waih. Keep jm QM mil Hti ilwjf mU help keep you. 2CrilnDr;fj:5li8rititBT Hail upon ticetpt of prien. WRITE FOR FREE BOOKLET JOHN L. THOMPSON SONS A CO. w 148 River St. Troy, N. Y. First In Road Construction. According to the report of the state highway commissioner, New York stands first in road construction, hav ing completed and accepted 863 miles of road last year and contracted for 1,148 miles, a large per cent ot which is now open to traffic. The state highway commissioner, In his annual report, recommends that foreign cars using New York roads should he re quired to pay some burden ot the , making. ' The Deadly Glass. "A man who drinks should never run an automobile." "Of course not," agreed Mr. Chug glns. "And yet when I was touring In a dry state, I couldn't help wishing that every drinking man owned a mo tor car. It would make him more careful about smashing bottles In the road." Washington Star, Pink Eye, Epliootlo . Shipping Fever, and Catarrhal Fever u m n r VmtA food if Sure cure and positive preventive, no matter how horses at any age are inflicted or "exposed." Liquid, given on the tongue; acts on the blood and glands; expels the poisonous germs from the body. Cures Distemper In Dogs and Bheep and Cholera In Poultry. Largest selling live stock remedy. Cures La Grippe among human beings, and Is a fine Kidney remedy. 60c and 11 a bottle; 16 and 10 a dozen. Cut this out. Keep It. Show to your druggist, who will get It for you. Free Booklet, "DlBtemper, Causes and Cures." Special agents wanted. Working Up to It. "What's the matter, AdolphusT Why, you look nervous and you can't keep still?" "You notice it, do you? Fine! Fine! I'm smoking 100 cigarettes a day, drinking about 20 cups of strong cof fee, not to mention all the other things." "But what's the idea?" - "Don't interrupt me, old fellow. I'm just on the verge of Inventing a new dance." Life. Get It to the bottom of the affected parts. Adv. Familiar Appearance. A number of tourists were recently looking down the crater ot Vesuvius. An American gentleman said to his companion: "That looks a good deal like the in fernal regions." An EngllBh woman, hearing the re mark, said to another: "Good gracious! How these Ameri cans do travel!" Chicago Herald. Weakening. "I wish to tell you perseverance wins in the long run. Now, my bar ber has been trying to sell me a bottle of hair tonic for the last ten years!" "But he hasn't succeeded yet" "No, but I think he eventually will. Louisville Courier-Journal. To the Woman Who Realizes She Needs Help