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About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 2, 1914)
tl all kinds wanted. Wrlta far our
Pearson-Page Co. 'gSE&S?
Eounht, o!d and exchanged; enrines, boilers,
swmills. etc. Send for Stock List and Prices.
1HE J. E. MARTIN CO.. 83 latSt.. Portland. Or.
i'ssy en me? r k hccq nn cnr
TO Uvkl,,ku WUVH1LUU UULkLUL
11914 M The school that irets you a
Thousands of Graduates
Washington and 10th Sts.
Mother Wouldn't Take Any.
Col. J. Slocum Ridgeley, In answer
ing the toast "To Mother" at a ban
quet In Charlottesville, said:
"God bless Anna Jarvls, the Phila
delphia woman who put Mothers' day
on the map! That holy day is better
for us than 10 new South American
"Let me tell you a 'mother' story.
"In my youth, when I was teaching
school in Slloain, I said one morning
to a bright little fellow:
" 'Tommy, my boy, if a family con
sisting of father, mother and six chil
dren should have a cherry pie for din
ner how much would each receive?'
" 'A seventh," the little fellow an
swered. " 'Carefully,' said I. 'Remember,
there are eight people.'
" 'Yes, sir, I know,' said Tommy,
'but mother wouldn't take any for fear
the others wouldn't have enough.' "
New Orleans States.
HOWARD K. ltl'KTUH - Answer sua rmemlrt.
Luudv.lJo, Colm'Hdo. Bpuniiuoii priurs: Oold,
tillvur. Lead. ft. Bold, Silver. Ifwi Gold. Jc: Zino
or Copper. SI. Mailing envelopes a d fall price list
tent on ajtpliciition. Control and (Tmpire workso
loited. Buferuncet Olrbonate National Bank.
A Wartime Fable.
Once upon a Time a Big Boy walked
up to a Little Boy and asked him for
a Piece of Pie. The Little Boy refus
ed, whereupon the Big Boy started to
trounce Him, The little Boy, how
ever, inflicted a mighty Beating upon
the Big Boy. Rubbing his Bruises, the
Big Boy smiled and said: "Little Boy,
give me your Pie now and I won't
fight you Any More." But the Little
Boy held the Pie and the Big Boy
had to go Somewhere Else for Some
thing Else but Pie.
Moral Sometimes you can get by
diplomacy what you can't by fighting
and then again, sometimes you can't,
if you do the fighting first.
Putnam Fadeless Dyes are the
easiest to use.
Not an Omission.
Mrs. Benton tasted the savory mor
sel she had carefully compounded in
the chafing dish and looked at her
husband somewhat apprehensively.
Then she Baid:
"Somehow it don't taste just as Mrs.
Mink's did the other night. Yet I
thought I remembered the recipe all
right. I suppose I must have left
Mr. Benton tasted reflectively.
"I don't think so," he remarked.
Mrs. Benton's face brightened vis
ibly. Then her husband continued:
"There's nothing you could leave
out," he said, "that would make it
taste like this. It's something you've
put in!" New York Globe.
For 75 yearj Wright's Indian Vege
table Pills have been their own recom
mendation in conditions of upset stom
ach, liver and bowels. If you have not
tried them, a test now will prove their
benefit to you Send for free sample
to 372 Pearl St., New York. Adv.
In the Realms of Credit.
"When I left home as a lad," said
Mr. Dustin Stax, "I had $10 in my
"You'll never forget that day."
"No sir. It's the only time I have
felt that I could settle up on a mo
ment's notice and be absolutely' sure
my assets would cash In for more
than my liabilities." Washington
YOUR OWN DKUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Eye Itemedy for Red, Weak, Watery
E.vea and Granulated Eyelids; No Smarting
just. Eye Comfort. Write for Book of the Eye
by mail Free. Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
Road Cop You say that's your car?
Tattered wretches like you don't own
Seedy Driver I bought it five years
ago, and haven't had the price of a
"Shakespeare speaks of moving ac
cidents by field and flood."
"Well, I suppose like most poets he
had to move frequently and probably
had a good many accidents to what
little furniture he owned."
Depends Upon Your Training
Our course! in Shorthand, Pen
manshfp. Business Training and
Telefrraphy will equip you for a
successful business career.
FALL TERM SEPTEMBER 7.
Fourth Street, Near Morrison, Portland. Or.
We Guarantee Positions for All
Write Us, No Trouble to Answer.
P. N. U.
No. 36, 1914
WHEN writing ta adrartlaan, abase :
Uam thia paper.
New Invention May Revolutionize
Moving Picture Business.
Demonstration Recently Made In Lon
don Seems to Prove That Long-Sought-For
Machine Has Made
Last week there was demonstrated
In London a new projector which will
In all probability revolutionize certain
departments of the moving picture
trade. The Vanascope, which 1b the
name of the new machine, is so con
structed that the continual flicker,
often so tiresome, is entirely eliminat
ed. The machine has no shutter, and
each picture, by means of rotary and
oscillating mirrors, Is allowed to fade
into the next, there being no mask
line. Another advantage claimed for
the new invention is that where an or
dinary projector throws upon the
screen a minimum of 16 pictures a sec
ond, the Vanascope only projects four.
By this means only 300 feet of film
Is required to do the work that now
requires a thousand, thus making the
cost of production considerably less.
The cost of lighting will also be con
siderably reduced, a saving of 25 per
cent amperage being possible. In
America orders for Vanascopes are
pouring In thick and fast, and so high
ly do the critics on thU side think of
it that it 1b expected that the machine
will shortly be installed in all the prin
cipal theaters In Great Britain and on
Epigrams of Veteran Player.
Thomas Santschl says that he has
been greatly helped in his career as a
picture actor by the wise advice of his
friend the late Kyrle Bellew. Some of
the beloved player's epigrams are as
"Affectation ie the chain that binds
the average actor to mediocrity."
"Stage tricks ' are fascinating
weapons with which to fight for public
approval, but they are boomerangs
rather than sure shot rifles."
"An actor of inferior native talent
will triumph over his clever colleagues
if he develops with more regard for art
"Never should an actor convey to
an audience the suggestion that he is
either looking at himself or listening
to his own voice with fondest apprecia
tion." "The actor should carefully discrim
inate between two attitudes conceit
and dignity the one is destructive,
the other constructive."
It would be an easy matter to name
some screen actors who would do well
to ponder the last two of these Bay
ings. Mountaineer Life In Films.
Another "Mary Pickford play" has
been released. "The Eagle'B Mate" Is
the title and it is by Anna Alice
Chapin. As a novel it has been pop
ular. The scenes are laid in the
heart of the West Virginia Mountains,
where some of the mountain folk
are said to live by the rule that might
Is right, and that to the strong be
long the spoils. In the midst of
these primitive surroundings Ane
mone Breckenridge, a gentle, refined
young girl, accustomed to all that
wealth and culture can bestow, who
has been kidnaped by one of the
mountaineers, Is suddenly confronted
with life In its most brutal and sav
age form. At first she is appalled and
disgusted as she sees the souls of
men and women without the veneer
which comes from the influence of
civilization, but before long her ad
miration 1b won by the underlying
courage and heroism of the people
around her, and in time she struggles
with herself to adopt their standards
as her own.
Real Humor In New Comedy.
"Tango versus Poker" is a new pho
toplay comedy. It portrays that Jones'
wife is tango mad, and when she de
cides to give a tango party he fig
ures he Is entitled to have a little
poker game with Mb friends. After
she leaves Jones' friends arrive. It
being a dry town, Jones takes a baby
carriage, In which to get the beer.
Mr. Smith's maid takes the baby for
an airing, and, meeting a policeman,
leaves the carriage alone. While Jones
Is in a store a mischievous kid changes
the carriages, 'and Jones wheels home
what he supposes to be a dozen bot
tles of beer. Arriving home, Mrs.
Smith's maid discovers, instead of the
baby, 12 cold bottles, while Jones and
his friends are amazed when they
lift the carriage hood to find a cry
Popular Leading Lady,
Miss Ethel Clayton received a noti
fication from the Onyx club, which
has brancheB throughout the North
west, that she was awarded second
prize In its photo play favorite con
test, she having received 25,000 votes.
This makes the fourth club contest
in which tbe leading woman has com
peted and in all four she received
first or second prize.
Italian City Photoplay Center.
Turin, Italy, Is one of the most Im
portant movlng-plcture film centers
in the world. Eight manufacturers
are located there and practically all
the manufacturers are represented.
The most popular films Involve a love
theme, or Indian or cowboy Incidents.
Films of every mako In the world are
COMEDY OF THE HOME
HUMOR THAT IS VISIBLE ONLY
TO THE LOOKER-ON.
In Almost All Instance the One Who
Dominates Is the One Who Most
Emphatically Claims to Bs
"Housekeeping develops the humor
ous Bide of married life to an extent
unguessed at by those who merely
board. In a boarding house or hotel
neither the husband nor the wife has
a chance to assert that the other Is
absolute master or mistress of the
joint establishment. What is It, by
the way, which makes humanity so
anxious to prove Itself badly off? The
contention for supremacy In suffer
ing always seen between two persons
who are , comparing woes or griev
ances Is particularly conspicuous in the
" 'If ever there was a man who was
master of hiB own house, It is my hus
band! He has everything just as he
wants It, without any regard to my
wishes,' pronounced the wife; but in
his own declaration of his position he
Is no whit behind the very chlefest
" 'My wife is the, cock of the walk
in our joint,' he informs you, and with
an agreeable mixture of figures goes
on to tell how he is henpecked.
"The humor of the situation appeals
to the bystander, at least, for any one
who has given attention to the mat
ter is fully aware that the men and
women who dominate are almost al
ways those who claim that they are
down-trodden and imposed upon. The
story of the man who was chased
through the house by his wife with
the broomstick and finally took refuge
under the four-post bed Illuminates
this, After he had been lying perdu
for an hour or so he cautiously raised
the valance and peered out. His wife
stamped her foot.
"'Get back under there!' she cried,
but he asserted his rights.
" 'While I have the spirit of a man,'
he returned, with all the dignity he
could muster In the circumstances, 'I
"One dares think after this that the
man who had been brought into such
subjection that he habitually spoke
of 'our hat' was probably a veritable
domestic tyrant and was clever
enough never to let his wife find it
"Although there Is a theory that
men have more sense of humor than
women, this may be questioned when
household conditions are considered.
Does a man laugh at his own discom
fiture as a woman does? How would
a man take the pleading of his wife
for something 'like father used to
make?' She has never tried it, but
his longing has become a byword.
What joy to the wife when he is hoist
by his own petard!
" 'My dear, these pies don't taste as
mother's used to!' complained a hus
band. 'They are good, of course, but
not the sort I was fond of as a boy.
Can't you do something to Improve
" 'I'm afraid not, dear,' rejoined the
wife sweetly. , 'She takes so much
pleasure in making them for you that
I would hate to iniimate to her that
you don't enjoy them as. you once
"Did he smile? I wonder! But I
am very sure his wife would have
chuckled if the condition had been
reversed." Christine Terhune Her
rick, in Lippincott's Magazine.
London Auto Accidents Few.
"Skillful motor driving is one of the
sights of London," said Henry Paul
man of Chicago. "Collisions here are
few, while in Chicago they are many.
This Is because of the stringent re
quirements for drivers' licenses in
London and the absence of such re
quirements in Chicago. The Btate oral
examination in Illinois is farcical. Ev
ery driver should be required to show
by his acts ability to control a car in
"They have a great device here in
the shape of a street-flushing machine
with a revolving squeegee In the rear.
The squeegee causes the pavement to
dry immediately, thus preventing skid
ding. There are 3,500 motor buses
and 9,000 taxlcabs on the streets of
London, not to mention many varie
ties of other vehicles mechanically
driven, yet accidents are infrequent in
view of the vastness of the metro
polls. The motor buses at the Derby
formed one of the finest features of
Electric Chair for Rats.
A novel device for electrocuting rats
was rigged up recently by the crew of
the railroad station at Fort Wayne,
Ind. Not long ago rats entered the
basement of the new station through
the coal chute and gave trouble until
the station men got together and con
structed an electric chair especially
designed for rats. The "chair" con
sists of an Iron plate with a steel
spike suspended above it, both the
plate and spike being connected to
the two wires of an electric circuit
With the spike baited with a piece of
cheese, the rodents which venture up
the plate and reach upward complete
an electrical circuit through their
bodlea and thus become their own
executioners. Electrical World.
Church Has your boy made good
Gotham Not ret. He hasn't got
on the baseball or football teams or
la t Inning crew yet
till i V G)mMz. A
BARRED WIFE FROM KITCHEN
Man of Sudden Riches Has Strong Ob
jections to Better-Half Mingling
With the Servants.
The stout lady struggled with dlffl
:ulty into the railway carriage. "Ah,"
she gasped, "that door might ha' been
made by 'Old Sam.' "
She paused for breath, and then pre
ceded to explain herself.
"You see, 'Old Sam' was one of them
:haps 'oo'd getten on. Went from a
:hree-an'-slx cottage to a big 'ouse. But
is missis wasn't used to a big 'ouse,
md spent all 'er time in kitchen wi' t'
servants. Old Sam didn't like this, but
e never argued wi' wimmen. Now, she
was stout, like me. So he takes her
iway to Blackpool, and while they was
iway he'd the kitchen door built up
aarrer, so the servants could get in
ind out, but not t'missis. Thut did 'er,
'"E'd what I call tac'," said a man
And all Bat lost In admiration of the
tactful "Old Sam." Manchester Guar
"Is your wife doing anything for the
blight which is hurting her roses?"
"Praying! Does she expect the
Lord to fool with insects when she
could fix matters herself with some
"She is spraying."
Bacon I see a directory of the use
ful minerals of the United States, tell
ing where each may be found, has
been issued by the Geological Sur
vey. Egbert A directory which would
tell us where to dig good fishing
worms would be more useful.
"What are you talking into that
"My class speech."
"I'm valedictorian of our corre
spondence school. This record will be
sent in turn to every member of the
"I thought you said Blowhard talked
very rapidly on the platform?"
"No, I didn't."
"Why, you said he talked like light
ning; I heard you."
"Yes, that's what I said, 1 but I
meant that he Bhocked everybody In
the audience and stole several other
Little Boy Say, uncle, when you
were traveling through the West did
you scalp any Indians?
Uncle Dick No, but I Bcalped many
a railroad ticket
Paw Knows Everything.
Willie Paw, what is a conceited
Paw A conceited man Is a fellow
who keeps on gabbing about himself
when you want to talk about yourself,
"I can't get to my bridge club In a
bat that Is three weeks out of style."
"I can't buy you a new hat this
month. Better join some culture club
"You know the sweet little girl the
Bingles call Angel?"
"Yesterday she broke six windows
j idA set fire to the hencoop."
SELDOM IS TRUE REFLECTION
Person W Sea Depends on What
Mirror Ws Look Into, and Not
All Ars Complimentary.
"Here," said Mrs. Spastick, "is
something that I have always said
myself and now it is In the newspa
per! One seldom sees one's true
reflection In a mirror!"
"Now there Is a real optimist!" ob
served Swastlck. "1 have always want
ed to think that! Every time I have
looked at myself in a mirror during
all these years of Bhaving and part
ing my golden locks and trying on new
hats and suits, I have had a sad, wist
ful feeling on beholding my Image.
I never knew what I sighed for!
"All this time I have been worrying
about the forbidding scowl that haunts
my features through no connivance
on my part, about the scared look of
my ears and the Ulsterish disposition
of my topknot.
, "Now, it was not Apollo-llke beauty
that I craved; It was only the com
forting knowledge that I didn't really
look Hike my reflection In the glass."
1 "One does not look the same In all
mirrors," said Mrs. Swastlck thought
fully. "There are some glasses that
pake a person look beautiful. I would
like to think that they are somewhere
near right, anyway."
"Well," said Swastlck, "I never saw
a mirror that flattered me as much
as others knock mo. There is a mir
ror in the elevator that gives me a
rather refined look, but most of them
mock me in a very rude and impo
lite manner, caricature me and bur
"Under this horrid arrangement I
should think that ladles dressing for
a ball would all want to eo over to
the ballroom to dress by the ballroom
mirrors, so they could know exact
ly how they wero going to look at the
"It seems a shame for a woman to
dress by her home mirror, only to
find when she gets to the ballroom
that Bhe looks entirely different."
"But," contended Mrs. Swastlck, "it
isn't how she will look to herself in
tbe ballroom mirror that bothers her.
It is how she will look to the rest
of the people at the ball. But If a
woman can't tell how sho looks to
other people by looking at herself in
a mirror, how is she ever going to
know? It Ja very unsatisfactory for
a woman never to be able to know ex
actly how she looks."
"I suppose It would be better to
know the worst," murmured Swastlck.
Ears on Their Lens.
David Fairchild, who has hunted the
world over for nlana nf fwiinnmln
value and Introduced them Into thlB
country, has communicated some in
tereBting facts about insects tn our
National Geographic society, which
has In turn given them to the public.
He says the champion aeronaut is the
king grasshopper, which has the abil
ity to Jump one hundred times Its
length and can sail for a thousand
miles before the wind. Tho cricket
Is described as a powerful slngor, Its
shrill note sometimes being hoard a
mile away. The males alone are
musical, and the females listen to
their melodious wooings with ears
which are on their forelogs. Being bo
musical, it would hardly be expected
that they would be such fighters
among themselves as thev are. or can.
nibals, eating each other when there
is not enough other food at hand
The ants are described as communists
because the individual interest is
merged in the community. Theirs is
a female rights colony. The workers
are females, the soldiers are femaleB,
the nurses are females, and there is
one queen mother for them all. uhn
lays all the eggs for the colony. The
maies are hut mates for the young
queena. The Christian Horald.
Arc Light and Echoes.
To improve the acoustic properties
ot a large hall at the University of 111)
nols an electric arc light was used
to assist the investigators In locating
the sources of sound disturbance.
The acoustical nronerlios nf the
room were wretched at the start, bul
Dy a series of experiments within the
auditorium Itself, following ' careful
studies in the laboratory, the trouble
nas been, practically, cured.
Echoes wero located by meanB of
an alternating current arc lleht
beam from which, accompanied by the
hissing sound of the arc, was directed
to various parts of the room. The
paths of the light reflections were
traced and verified by the Bound.
A complete acoustical Burvey was
thuB made of the auditorium, resulting
finally Jn the hanitlne of curt! nn and
canvases in various parts of the room
bo as to stop the reverberations. Ea
Firs Chief "Mads Time."
Fire Chief John Kenlon had a rather
novel experience In reaching an early
morning blaze recently. When tour
alarms were sounded for a fire ot a
yacht and engine plant at Morris
Heights, In The Bronx, the chief
hopped Into his red automobile and
started for the northern borough. At
Lenox avenue and 127th street the en
gine "went dead." This didn't stop
the chief, for he ran to the nearest
"L" Btatlon and rode to the viaduct at
Eighth avenue and 155th street, where
he spied a private touring car. After
waking up the chauffeur and flashing
his badge he jumped In and was
whisked up Sedgwick avenue, as he
said later, hitting only the high spots,
until be reached the fire. The chauf
feur admitted It was the fastest clip
he had ever driven, and added that
his speedometer must have thought It
Was Its birthday. New York Tribune.
WOMEN WHO ARE
May Find Help in This
Swan Creek. Mich. "I cannot nnoalr
too highly of your medicine. When
tnrough neglect or
overwork I get run
down and my appe
tite is poor and I
have that weak, lan
guid, always tired
feeling, I get a bot
tle of Lydia E. Pink
Compound, and it
builds me up, give
me strength, and re
stores me to nerfsrt
health again. It is truly a great bless
ing to women, and I cannot speak too
highly of it I take pleasure in recom
mending it to others." Mrs. Annib
Cameron, R.F.D., No. 1, Swan Creek,
Another Sufferer Relieved.
Hebron, Me. -"Before taking your
remedies I was all run rlnwn rliamm..
aged and had female weakness. I took
iyaia nnlsham's Vegetable Com
pound and used the Sanative Wash, and
find today that I am an entirely new
woman, ready and willing to do my
housework now, where before taking:
your medicine it was a dread. I try to
impress upon the minds of all ailing
women I meet the benefits they can
derive from your medicines." Mrs.
Charles Rowe, R. F. D., No. 1,
If you want special advice
write to Lydia E. Pinkham Med
icine Co., (confidential) Lynn,
Mass. Your letter wil be opened,
read and answered by a woman
and hold in strict confidence.
A bachelor wanted a man servant,
so he inserted an advertisement in a
local weekly. One of the applicants
who answered was an Irishman.
"What I want," explained the bache
lor, "is a useful man one who can
cook, drive a motorcar, look after a
pair of horses, clean shoes and win
dows, feed poultry, milk the cow and
do a little painting and paper hang
."Excuse me, sor," said Murphy, "but
what kind of soil have ye here?"
"Soil?" snapped the bachelor.!
"What's that got to do with it?" :
"Well, I thought If it was clay I
might make bricks in me Bpare time."
By Reflection from Ocean Beach and
Desert Sand unrelieved by i'olinge. Winds
and Mineral Laden, Poisonous Dust, all
bring Eye Troubles in their wake Granu
luted Eyelids, Red, Itching, Burning, Tired
and Watery Eyes, Impaired Vision and
Kye Pain. Reliable Relief is found in
Murine Kye Itemedy, Mild and Harmless.
If you Wear UlnsKea, Try Murine. Doesn't
Smart. Feels Fine. Acts Quickly. Is an
live Tonic compounded by Oculists not a
' Patent Medicine" but used in successful
Physicians' Practice for many years. Now
dedicated to the Puhlie and sold at
50c Per Bottle. Murine Eye Pnlve In
Aseptio Tubes, 2ac and (Irtc. Sold hf
Druggists. For Hooks, write to Murins.
Eye Remedy Co., Chicago,
Bamey Phelnn, Father Ilealey's ser
vant, was celebrated for his ready wit.
One day, while he was serving at din
ner, one of the guests said to him:
"Harnoy, why is my ankle placed be
tween my calf and my foot?"
"Begorra, I dunno," replied Barney,
"unless it is to keep your calf from
eatin' your corn." Boston Tranncript.-
The Saturation Point.
"How are you fixed financially, old
"I'm at the saturation point."
"What do you mean?"
"At the point where I've got to soak
something." Boston Transcript.
By Clearing BEood
A Function Greatly Assisted
By a Well-Known
Moat readers will be Interested in mors
-learljr understand why aiialrxl. of urine la
la Important. In th use of 8. K. H. to
mir Itw Ihu 1.1. mA tta - ... ... .
r-..., ....,, auuim a siimiiiaur.
to (he myriad of line blood vessels that
make up tli. constructive tissues of the
Klnnvv. All ,l.a Kl..., .. -II
j- ' j l""T irum nil liver mfr
umimvv ymmm 11111,1111 III. SlUUerS. Itlff
let as testers and assayera. And according;
.w ...... j -ii"w iw ya,,. out 111 trip urine.
aoth as to quantity and material, tli
Jluod Is determined. The catalytic eneray
ri.pr.iii1 h. a u a - -1 , . .
... . rr, niuwu iu m urine.
.D ii-muuBviniru 111 Ilia BKtn. Anil
the blood continues to sweep through.
o '", "'" """"uaima; nature or
a. M. H., acting; as It docs through til thi
ivunues of elimination, shows a marked
ierressa of disease manifestations aa dera
jnntrsted by urine analysis. Tula tasist-
...... . i,hi rrnn lu me naneji. The
oody wastes ara more evenly distributed to
th. emunctorles j their elimination Is atlm-
.. - - .... iwuik ai-iion anornea tha
liver, limns, skin and kidneys. Thus, In
h,. V V"""' enronio sora
throat, huHkloena of voice, bronelilita, asth
ma and the myriad nf other reflex lodlra
llnns of weak kidney action, first purir?
riiur hlood with H. R. R so It t.;II enabln
lad ffRiiin th normal hpfllfh.
n RW fi . Phi " 8w,ft BPW'?
a....., mama, tja.. ana t
you hare any drp-iiat.a or obstinate blw J
rrnrilila surlta i,.i. if. n .. i
(rut ftdvlc. "