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About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (June 7, 1902)
SMILES. THE INSATIATE flfcA. „Iles twin Cupid* seek Lira tuple* ¡“ her cheeks kJ ,h t mole* straight »«X •'» KtuP-uglid^ -*“• ,he,‘ '“r‘ Cruel Tribute Exacted from Fiaher Folk of Glouwater. Ma»*. aud they all took bad colds. Nor Is li only the Arctic regions aud amongst high mountains that colds are absent; the same immunity from them Is no ticeable during long sea voyages aud when camping out In the desert; aud. still more utiexiiectedly. In the best open air sanatoriums, such as Nord rach. where the ventilation is practi cally perfect. It is found that patients do not catch cold. There is, I believe, plenty of other evidence to show that there are places remote from ordinary human life where colds cannot lie caught whatever the exposure; prob ably many of your readers cau brltig forward Instance«."—Literary Digest. Every year Iu Gluuceste . Masa.. a memorial service for tisyeruieu lout at sea l* held in McClure Cbai>cl, iu "An gel Alley." "During the services,” the chaplain and manager of the Fisher men's Institute rweutly said to a writ er iu the Bustou Herald, "a list of those who have been drowned 1* read, mouth by mouth. Sometimes It Is a w de crew, aga.n a mau swept overboard, often a single fisherman lost in a dory which drifted away in a teg and was uever seen again. The graves are scat tered over the Iceland Usbing grounds. Norway, the Grand Banks, the isle* of Shoals, the Georges, eveu down to Eastern Point Itself. It is the saddeat day of the year. I kuow nothing I dread so much.” While the chaplain was speaking a little woman Iu rusty black, with tuin. white hair and the patient, suQerti g face of a fisherman's widow, came In to see the minister on business. She car ried a package of crocheted riugs tor pulling lu the trawl Hues, which the widows aud orphans make aud sell to the stores. "Yes." she said, iu reply to a question, “the chaplain’s beeu mighty good to me. he aud his wife. They've stood by uie lu all my trouble, and I've seen a sight of it. I've lost five meu folks on the sea—my father aud my busbaud aud three sons. "Four times I've seen the ship come In with the flag at half mast, a id once It never came st all. I've hud five fun erals iu my parlor—not like you laud folks' funerals, but the kind we fishing folks have, where there Isn't any coffin or any funeral procession. Aud there are five slabs in my lot iu the cemetery that say. ’Born at Gloucester; died on the Grand Banks.' “I tried to keep my last boy at home." the trembling voice went on. "4 got him a place lu a lawyer’s office, but he was Just wild for the sea. He’d lay awake listening to It and longing to be gone, aud I Just bad to let him go. The sea's a terrible thing, a terrible thing! It draws you to It. and then It kills you.” Many, many another has watched for the ships that never have come, or has seen them come In with lowered colors nt the mast, for Gloucester alone loses, on an average, one hundred fishermen a year. WALKING AND LONGEVITY. INDIAN CONJURERS' TRICKS. .h, IsngM CupidM ,Wal" LjJ ,h'” month inside . b^^ lie *r r . Band h,.r r teeth of & pearl. iben st _ u. erant me this " h your mu .7 Je.tsy. PlV. th^ero*y l‘P" k “' . £’i?’ti* mine, sod «teal awV. ^io.tcr <*■*»“• _ I»« l I ] ; ~ t 1 I I I I I F Gfdiidnid’s Story I A Few Negative®. Never dust off plates with brush that contains stiff hair or bristles; use brush with long tine hair. Never put alkaline solutions tn trot- ties Laving glass stoppers-they stick. Never sweep or dust your dark room; use wet cloths to remove dust and dirt. Never use trays or dishes for all work: keep to their proper uses those for developing, fixing toning, etc. Never pass your fingers from one so lution to another without washing, if you would avoid stains, etc. Never be In a hurry; move with cir cumspection In all your photographic work, although It requires but a small fraction of time to Impress the sensi tive plate, go,al results can alone be had by study of position and a due re gard to light and shade. Development and all the operations of the dark room can only move at proper speed to produce satisfactory results. Never console yourself with the Idea I s TOKY!" excla.med grandma I H ‘ .be looked over her glasses ■ Zni at the boy uu^ «lrl Pervbed at $ f^ptase. 8 rvalljr' ,ruljr fl war'story, with some 'go' In it." Ijjed To« ■ -\ery »ell." said grandma after a “I believe 1 A, laouieuts’ thought. Eau picas* you both. I I- wa* in a log bouse, such as the I t settlers lived In. that a girl of r '.ut 15 rears of age was bending over I* rtrepl.ee busily engaged In broiling I es'of venison. Another girl about J sr older was spreading a coarse, l.uiespun cloth on the table and pre- f ' . t for the evening meal. f - father Is late.’ said the girl at the Ire. as she ruse. What can be keeping | yews from the front that he ia so Lniious to bear, perchance. 1’oor fath- T it Is a sore trial for him that he Is knew well bow to handle. They had not Lsble to go to Washington’* aid. and long to wait. The soldiers came through Ls uo sous to send. If I were only a the streets killing the inhabitants and burning their homes, headed by Arnold |lt>v dow T I -Her black eye* sparkled and her himself. Elizabeth saw her poor old Lbeeks grew red at the thought. father shot down before her. and Dor , | - Would you go. Elizabeth?’ asked thy fell In a faint across his prostra «■ body. Quick as a Hash she raised her Lite other. I •• Indeed 1 would. I do so long to do musket and. aiming straight at Arnold, Lmethlng for our country.’ fired, but the shot missed and before | - But war Is dreadful,’ said the oth- she could try again it was wrested L and her cheeks grew pale at the from her ami she found herself in the Lry thought. ’1 am sure I never could power of two stalwart soldiers. ’’ ’So you would shoot the general.’ F • Thee would not need. Dorothy; said one. Lome one would have to stay with ** ‘I would kill a murderer and a trai ftther. thee knows. Thee Is a dear tor!’ answered she. scornfully. Lhlld and 1 am sure thee love, our ’’ ‘You shall pay for that, you hussy.’ country as much as 1.’ he cried. ' -The mother of these girls was a "But over Arnold’s face swept a lyuaker. and the elder often used the flush of shame. What his thoughts were as be looked at the face of the girl no one knows, but Ills better nature conquered. “ ’Unhand the girl!’ he commanded. ’I give you your life,' he said, turning to Elizabeth, ’and remember that Bene diet Arnold can appreciate bravery, even In an American girl.’ and he rode on with a wave of his hand.” "Are you sure that is a real, true story, grandma?" asked the girl. "Quite sure, dearie, for Elizabeth told It to me herself, and Ellziilieth was my grandmother.”—Detroit Free Press. “'YOU SHALL PAY FOR THAT, HUSSY!’ HE CRIED.” YOU I quaint form of speech when talking to tlie younger. It came front her as a sort of a caress. "Just then the door opened, and t'le father entered. He was a ntan well past seventy, with hair as white as »now. His bright eyes were not yet d.tn. and there was a very striking re- semblance between him and his elder daughter. • " What news, father?' asked Eliza beth. ■“Nothing. Nothing new. except that the English, led by the traitor. Arnold, have been raiding the country again. That Is old now, but a runner Just came with a fuller story.’ "Elizabeth’s eyes flashed fire at the mention of Arnold, for the colonies «ere very bitter against this man that Lad been false to them. " 'I wish I could go.’ ‘”1 wish thee could, child.’ answered | the father, as he took his place at the table. ’’The next morning after doing the usual work Dorothy took her knitting »nd sat by the door, while Elizabeth brought the wheel from the corner and began to spin. ‘"When these are finished there will be six pair.’ said Dorothy, as she held up a sock she was working on. They «ill help some poor soldier next win ter.' ’Yes we can help that way. and glad they will l>e. I am sure,’ answered her sister, as she started the wheel buzzing. . ”A few moments later the door was darkened, and as they looked up In sur- | Pri»e at the breathless man that stood there, be gasped out: ’’ The fort is attacked, and If It falls the town will t>e sacked.' and before they could say a word he was gone. ’ What shall we do?' moaned Doro ’hy. but Elizabeth was at work. She hastily collected what few valuables 1 ’bey bad and made them Into a small | bundle Then, running a short distance from tlie house, she bld them In the hollow of s tree. I do not think they will find them here, she said. ‘Cheer up, Dorothy, ' 't>p fort has not yet fallen, and many ' ,r»ve and true men sre behind those »»Ila' I bey could not work, but sat In the ' srway waiting and watching and 1 L ng to tbelr nelghliors. who were • anxiously waiting soon their father csnte In. his face drawn and pale, but his eyes were ‘ ' •' pry went up ns a soldier " running through the streets. '•'«1 help the town? be cried. The ft baa surrendered and the British - mnr lereii tl>e general and nios’ me i The traitor, Arnold. Is in command” T • re was confusion at once Every r*°n able to hold a musket got -• ’ha- they ktf* * ' old lie useless, but they looked for m»r. y. ,nd they determined to sell jt’-.r I tea as dearly as possible. Doro t ,. '** fainting from fright, ».betb follow««! her father’s a“'ple and took down a gun that th* that to .imply "touch the button“ com prises the whole art of photography, and that when failure follow* you can «lake good your want of success by i blaming the maker of the lens and the maker of the plates. Never forget that a weak, flat nega tive Is probably due either to over-ex posure or too weak a developer; that one with too great contrasts is due ei ther to under exposure or too rapid or too strong a developer. Never be saving of developer; It coats but a trifle compared to the plates. Vse a liberal quantity to fully cover plate. Never expect success from snap shots In heavy and deep shadows. Pho tography does wonders in these days, but It will not give you a picture of de tails found only In dark corners. Never expect good results from old plates, from which only flat and un satisfactory results can lie expected. Just how old may be old It Is difficult to state; one year Is quite enough to lead to suspicion. With Many Centenarian* It Was the Favorite Form of Exercise. Some of Them Probably M orketl Hypnotizing Observer*. • mn’S KTX Mart« CUT. qUABTWBK» oak CUT. The ■susrul eshSe has but a faHM tastwtai rTs* ' and quartered oak really are. X. ., matter of fart the secret be. eat.rely 1» th. method of rutting <>r ».win« tint »-r The bird's-eye figure in maple 1« produced by ruttine irnnod tod around the log and eon’inmn« nn’d the log * used op. A hue*» ku.fr. and not a MW. '■ ,i.ed for the purpose, and the wood is really peeled off It ke a <rrat »having, hru»*» proluce tbi» figure, bird’s-eye vmeer* yard* in length are mad*. Few That obtained from the • igar a • i® the finest in thia country. Curly walnut ia the root and that p >rt cn of the trunk just sb-«’» th. gross«!. The log a aa<»d n the ordinary w aj I urly ws nut is obtained from al! the ’’bartered oak ia produced by .a wins the log into qo.rter.-ben,,-the name, fhe^ quarter» are then -awed m’o board, from the nrmmfereme toward h. enter and ’has • ** f,‘: 1*Br* '“ 1 "•k. ’ b out. The wa.'e canard by th., method of sawing >a what make* tha qsAtsr- aawed timber so expenai’». riesssnt Incidents Occnrrinu H>s XX or Id Over— Kay in*» that Are Cheer ful to Old or Young Funny Selec tions that Everybody Will Enjoy. "You say she I* a good business woman?" "Oh, splendid. Incomparable. She let* absolutely nothing drive business out of her head Why. just before Harold started for Europe he pro|v»sed to her by letter ami asked her to telegraph her answer.” "Well?" “Well, most people would have tele- graphed ‘Yes’ or "No.' but she had enough of a buslnes* head to wire: 'It affords me great plettaure to say yes to yon.' thus preventing the telegraph company ir-un getting any advantage of her in charging for a ten word mes sage."—Brooklyn Eagle In the Cheap Cafe. Walter W'at yer goln’ ter have? Customer (undecided)—Oh, I don't know. Walter icalllng back to the kitchen)— One hash. The Dustman. He—My wife Is strictly orthodox In her religious beliefs. She— Is that so? He Ye«; she thinks I am made of "dust." Never Stopped. by Walking appears to be the form of The conjurer threw a woman, almost physical exercise most favored by cen nude. Into a kind of cataleplc state tenarians. It is related of one Mac of rigidity. Four of our officers’ ; Donald, who died In Highlands, Scot swords were then fixed, points up- land. In 1701. aged 101: "He was a ■ward. In the ground. The woman was great pedestrian, and the year before laid with her elbows on two sword lie died, at the age of 100, undertook points, her heels on the other two. on a wager to walk ten miles iu two Three swords were then removed, and hours and a half, which lie performed. ' she lay, horizontal and rigid, »upport- He was accordingly presented to the ' cd by one elbow, on one sword point. king at Windsor." My friend and the surgeon of the reg Colonel George Perkin*. of Norwich, iment examined her carefully, feeling Conn., who died thirteen years ago, all around her body, but they could aged list. made a practice of walking ! discover no supports. four miles a day until within a few The Emp. ror Jeliauglr Is not tlie only years of his death. Mary Wilkinson of , recorder of the rope trick; an eye-wit- COLDS MAY BE INFECTIOUS. Yorkshire. England, who In 1788 died j ness of the thirteenth century describes But Medical Man Gives Reasons for Sup at 10!». walked to Ixvndon when she | it in Col. Yule's "Marco I’olo.” posing This to Be the Case. was past 90. The distance was 230 he admits that a friend standing be We all speak of "catching” cold, and miles. She made It In five days and side him saw no rope, aud no man the belief that an ordinary coltl is three hours. Mary McDonnell, a vig climbing It; so. probably, this Arab ob "caught” In the same sense as an In orous old woman of Magberatempany, server was hypnotized, as Klin. In Mr. fectious disease and In no other way Ireland, in 1784, w lien 117, walked Kipling’s book, was not. when he was seems to be gaining ground among fourteen miles. told to see the broken vase made Sally Morris, who recently died near whole. But It neetlevl all of Kim's res medical men. Dr. II. Willoughby Gard Parkersburg. W. Va.. nt the age of 113. olution not to see whilt he was told to ner writes In The I.ancet: "Colds are almost unknown In the had. up to two years previous to her see. A lady, well known In literature, Arctic circle, not on account of the death, walked twenty miles to town has told me that Indian conjurers oft en ask the spectators to watch a mon action of the continuous cold, but be and back one day In each week. A conspicuous number of centenari key's polished skull being swung round cause the greater part of that region Is uninhabited. When Sir William ans have enjoyed their favorite sports liefore they Ivegin to perform, and she Conway aud Ills men were exploring and pastimes even In tbelr very last thinks that the watching causes a kind Spltzbergen. though they were exposed days. Sieu Dason de Veger of Lour- of glamor. 1 have not elsewhere heard to great privations aud were almost day. Frame, who died In 1744, aged of this. The Pawnees are said by an official constantly wet through, they never 118. "rode hunting fifteen days before caught a cold, but directly they came bis death." Bartholomew Rymer, a eye-witness to do the mango tree trick down to Andree's settlement on the Yorkshire gamekeeper who ended a unalze doing duty for mango treel coast, where some forty men were liv century of vigorous life in 1791, “shot without contact, so that palming Is im ing In almost constant intercourse with game flylug iu Ills 99th year.” One possible. This rather needs corrobora the mainland, they all developed vio Hastings, an Englishman, dying In tion. Andrew Laug in Longman s. lent colds. Nansen and Ills meu never 1(150. "rode to the death of a stag when A <’<s»tly Dog. caught a cold during all the three near 90." In the last century of his The other day my wife and I made years of bls voyage, notwithstanding life he was a fisherman and swam the the pretext of an errand the excuse for the utmost exposure, but directly they river after be was 100. All these instances, says the Roches sailing on the blue waters of Shnna- reached civilization on the coast of Norway, though still within the Arctic ter Post Express, prove the value of shank Bay. and engaged old Captain circle, they all suffered badly from out-of-door exercise as an aid in the Little, nt the customary price of 50 cents an hour, to take us across to a colds. The weather Is not always keen prolongation of life. village on the opposite shore. With and bracing in the Arctic regions; dur Division of Labor. the Captain always went bls dog Tas ing the summertime In Franz Josef Helene—How long did you stay In so. ns Indispensable companion, rather Laud, at any rate. It Is exceedingly Paris on your trip to France? than ns necessary crew. Arrived at damp, aud raw. mist-laden east winds Emma -Oh, a week altogether. the village, the errand wa* promptly prevail; yet the menders of the Jack- Helene- But. surely, you could not sou-Harmsworth expedition never take In everything In such a short j done ami we were ready to depart, ! but the dog could not be found. We caught a cold there, though all but two time'. called and whistled, and sought him cf them did so directly they reached Emma—But we did all the same. You civilization. More noteworthy still see. there were three of ua. Mamma high and low; until at last, at the end were Conway's experiences In the took In the picture galleries, I studied ’ of a good half hour, lie strolled on to Himalayas While amongst the moun the shops and things, and papa exam the dock, calm and unruffled, and tains lie and his men. notwithstanding ined the local color in the cafes.—New without a suspicion of malevolence In eye or action. The sail was thereupon great exposure, never caught cold; nor York Times. I resumed, aud the captain, who Is a did they even when they visited the When a woman has company, she good skipper, after lalwrlously pushing small remote native villages; but once they came down to a village where apologizes for every thing she put* on us off a snnd bar on which he had In there was a smnll European settlement the table, and when no one is there but advertently grounded, finally drew up at the w harf, at the end of three hours In communication with the outer world her family, she defend* It from the time of departure. "Well, captin,” we said, "you have given us a good sail. How much Is It?" "Waal.” said the captain, 'Tt ll t»e a dollar and a half. We've been gone Jest three hour*. Ye aee." he continued, "It took us half an hour to look up that dog.”— Harper’s Magazine. “CURLY” WOOD AND QUARTER SAWING. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. Gver 1 dropiHsI my watch In the riv er and didn’t recover It for three days. It kept on running, though. Myer I’shaw! A watch won't run for three days. Gyer of course not. 1 was speaking cf the river. inGmfii.ti.o PIRC HAS RAVAGED FORESTS. First Senator— Something seems to ba ----------- troubling Jones T*** Tremendou» Wasta In Forty Tsars II c Coll, agtx See that woman with the eyeglasses aud the stern smile lu ’le r*‘I*ort of the examination of tba the gallery? "Cascade Range and Ashland Forest ••v , » •• Reserves and Adjacent Itegloaa," by "That’s his w Ife. and he’s got a worn J. B. Lei berg. Is a part of the twenty- an suffrage bill In his po- kt-t. lledoesn't first auuual report of the L'ulted State« know whether to introduce It and get Geological Survey, and la edited by roasted or to alt still aud m<-et her when Henry Gannett, geographer. The region discussed lu this report the session's over.” Is lu Southern Oregon. It contains "What w ill he do?” "Oh, he ll introduce IL"—Detroit Free nearly 8,uuo square miles, 4,tJ7»J,3UO acres, comprising the central aud up Press. per areas of Rogue aud Klamath river Feminine Trio. basins and a small part of the water- "The most troublesome member of slied of the upper South Vrnpqua river my flock." said the parson, "Is the and Is divided Into two nearly equal young woman who wants a husband.” portions by the utalu range of the Cas "My most troublesome client," said cades. the lawyer, "is a mkldle-aged woman The eastern and western slopes have who wants a divorce.” many dissimilar characteristics, the " The most troublesome patient I country dropping ou the west lu long have." said the physician, "is a spin spurs to the valley of the Rogue river ster of uncertain age vv ho doesu’t know and on the east lu steeper declivities what she want*."—Chicago New*. to the Klamath lakes and the great plains stretching eastward from them. 1 mprovement. "Don't you think," I Inquired of ’he 1 lie mean elevation Is tl.iXMJ feet. The prosperous looking man w ith the heavy character of the Cascade range Is vol mustache ami watch chain, who was canic, the coues and peaks being of dressed In the 14-lncb balk line suit, different ages, and extinct craters alHiundlng utuong them, the one con "that the world Is getting better?" ’ Sure!" he n-plled, w ith the frank en taining the famous Crater lake. The Ashland forest reserve consist* thusiasm of sui t es*. "Not ouly better, of SKklyou peak, or Ashland Butte, but easier."—Puck. luvarly 8.000 feet above sea level, and Goinu to Extremes. contains over 22.000 acres. The ob Bloblia—Wigwag is a great stickler ject of this reserve Is to maintain the for harmony. volume nnd purity of Ashland creek, Slobbs—Yes. he’s even going to mar the water supply of the town of Ash ry Mlaa Oldglrl because lie think* she land The Siskiyou mountain range would go well with his antique furni forms a connecting link betweeu the ture.—Philadelphia Record. Coast range aud the Cascades. In this region the same general con Not in His Liar. "William, wake up!" she whispered. ditions prevail as In the Mount Rai "I’m sure I heart! a burglar downstairs. nier reserve. The crest of the range forms a dividing line between two You'd better go down and see." "My giMHltiess, woman," he replied, vv Idely differing set* of forest condi sleepily, "what a low opiulon you must tions. Upon the west, with au ample have of me! I'm not In the habit of rainfall, the forests are fairly dense hobnobbing with burglars "—Catholic mid the undergrowth luxuriant. Upon the east, where more arid conditions Standard and TTinea. prevail, the forests are open, with uo Well Brought Up. underbrush. Grateful Parent -What can 1 do, sir, Fires have widely ravaged this re to show my gratitude? You havs gion. says the New York l’ost. Of the savetl tny daughter from drowning forested area examined, lu round num Rescuer Don't thank me. Thank ber* 3,900,900 acres, Lelberg estimate* yourself. She owe* her life, and 1 owe that 2,975,000 acte* or 99 99 per cent mine, to the filet that you brought her are fire marked; am! that of this tlre- up In Boston. niarked area, 587.000 acres are badly "Eh?” burned. That Is to sny, within the "It Is very simple. Most girl* would last forty years, settlement clearings grab a rescuer by the neck, and both not Included. 7,000.000,000 feet of mer would be drowned, but your daughter chantable mill timber ha* been de modestly waited for an Introduction.— stroyed by Are. New York Weekly. Friendly Tip. "Oh. dear!" exclaimed the girl at the ribbon counter, “rm so tired. I do wish I could sit down somewhere.” "1 wish to gtxMlni’ss you would go over and sit on that frosh floor-walker,” said the hairpin demonstrator. Horrid Fear. "Well." said the girl’s father, sternly, after the timid suitor had finally stated his ease, "do you think you could sup port a family, young man?” "Gee whizz!" exclaimed the youug man. "have you lost your Job?” Didn't Do 'I Itin*» by llnlve*. One Way of Putting It. Nell Have you heard the news about Ethel? She has got a position as a dish washer. Bell You don’t mean It! Nell Yes. I do; she is going to marry Charlie Thompson. Tried to Explain It. Mr. Flatlelgh Yes; l’ui a self made man. Professor Studioala—Er uni get the material at a bargain sale? "Ixvt's take a sail.” ’’No; let's take de whole boat” The Brutal Hex. “Johnnie 1s such a strenuous boy." remarked the fond mother. "He hasn’t Mt still a minute this whole blessed day.” "Hull!’’ growled her bachelor brother, "If he was my kid he wouldn't be able to sit at all for a week.” Gave Themselves Away. She—And I tint really and truly the first girl you ever kissed? He—Do you doubt It. darling? She—Yes; your mtutner savors of long experience. He—How do you know It does? He Hpnke from Experience. Nothing Lacking. Bobby l‘n. what do they call a man who has two wives? Pu—A bigamist. Bobby. Bobby l*n. Hiip|H>se he Im* more than two wives; whnt Is he then? I’ll A hopeless idiot! Now don't bother me with any more questions. Miss Millyun One can be very happy In tills world with health ami money. Young Dtslbroko- -Then let's be made one. I have the health and you have the money. London Tit Bits. llrr Hide of It. That Altered (lie Case. ' j I 1 Stern Father Didn’t I tell you not to call iignln. sir? Suitor I know; blit 1 didn't call to see your daughter. I came on belnilf of our firm nbout that little bill " Stern Father Er it call again. please. Makin« It Heavier. “I wonder why the humorists do not write any Jokes almut the sou In law," observed tlie curious person. "For the simple reason." replied the mother of the bride, "tlmt a son In law Is no joke." An L'nplraannt Precedent. Manager I'm afraid this piny Isn't quite heavy enough. Playwright Well, we might Increase the wait between the arts. I'hiladel pill» Record. Had I'romi«.<-«l to Be. Hurry Was Hint your sister I saw with you last evening? Dlek Worse than that. She lias promised she will be. Boston Tran script. “All the members of the English roy An Undesirable Job. nl family have been vaccinated." Weary Willie Say, Tatters, how 'ml "I wonder if that establishes a prece you like ter la- a angel? dent ?" Tired Tatters Nay, nay. Weary Not "What sort of a precedent?” "One which forces the King's family me. Weary Willie—'Coe why. Tatters? to bare arms " Cleveland Plain Dealer Tired Tatter»-’Cos den I’d have Through Ills Nose. wings an' It 'ud be too much like work ‘‘(’holly Llglitpnyte has changed doc a flappln' 'em nil tie time. tors." 'What was the trouble with the ol<l Certainly • < onductor. one?" John Philip Sousa, tlie bandmaster, "Cholly thought what ailed him was usually wears hl* uniform at all tlmra smoking clgaroots on tin empty ittoni- and seiisonn, and prefers that bl* men acb, but when he asked the doctor do the same. A Buffalo paper My* Royal Family of Boxers. Boxing is a favorite sport of the Dan almiit It the doctor told him It was that the practice ha* led to some very ish royal family. Prince Yaldemar be smoking them through an empty h<-nd." amusing ex|>erlence«, and gives the ing the best boxer among them When — Chicago Tribune. following as an Instance; he challenged the late Emperor Alexan tine night Mr. Sousa was standing in Had Reached the Limit. der 111. of Russia, however, be met Mickey Wot made yer quit yer Job. a railway station, on the platform, more than hts match. King George of waiting for a train. A belated traveler Jimmy? Greece Is also skilled with the gloves. Jimmie Cos do l»oss lui'l a record of ran up to him ami aslrevl excitedly, The present Emperor of Russia, on his all me relations wot dlml Inst sum "Ila* the nine three train pulled out?" travel* around the world, used to have mer. an’ lie wouldn't let me use none of "I really don’t know." responded Mr. a bout with Prince George of Greece ’em over again. If I don't git a new Sousa. every morning on the bridge of the job I can’t see no ball game* Judge “Well, why don’t you know?" shout | steamer. ed the traveler. “What are you stand Fnnting the Hill. ing here for like a stick of wins!? Ixtwest Temperalere Mark. Tell tor (Just getting on train with va Teisser* ne de Bert, the Frem h aero llsei What do you want now? Do you Aren't you a con<Ju<-tor?" “Yes." »aid Mr. House, pleasantly, naut. has aecured the lowest tempera aupfiose 1 11 stay In this town sftrr Ito "1 am a conductor." ture mark on re >n1 72 degrees .entl Ing tarre-1 ami feathered? “A nice sort of a conductor. Indeed!" grade «r 97 •• degrees Fahrenheit. The Citizen No; and Lhat’s Just why I reading «»» reg stored <>n a thermome want you to pay this bill. That wa* tny exclaline«! the man. “Well, you see," smilingly respond ter In a trial balloon «ent up recently, tar they us«! ed the musician. "I am not the conduc a hlch rose to a height of 3M i»»I feet. Double V ision. tor of » train, but of a brass band " Judge—Have I not semi you twice be Blind Asylum In Ceylon. Elocution I* more desirable tfiau It has te-en de« Ided to found an eye fore under th«- Influence of liquor? hospital and an asylum for the blind Defendant- If you were In that condi piauo playing, for the reason that with iss < eylon s memorial to the late Queen tion. your honor, you probably did elo ution. the father of the girl Isu't I con11>ellml to buy a piano. a * aee me twice i’b.ladelphla Press. O There are ns many different dialects spoken In China as In Europe. China raises and consumes more ducks than any other country In the world. Titanium Is the hardest metal. It looks like copper, but will scratch rock cryataL It take« 2.800 silk worms to make a IKvund of silk, and these worms eat 150 IHiunds of leaves before they spin their eocoon». In Santa Clam, Cal., there Is a church constructed from the wood of a single i oak tree. The building Is thirty feet w ide and seventy feet deep, yet when Its construction was completed LLUO feet of lumber remains unused. Many of the fruits and vegetables now eaten In England were almost un known to our forefathers. Not until Henry VIII.'s time were either raspber ries or strawberries or cherries grown In England, nnd we do not read of the turnip, cauliflower and quince being cultivated before the sixteenth century, or the carrot before the seventeenth century. The Belgian consul general at Chi- cago lias made a re|>ort on the magni tude of the commerce of cereals there, from which the following figures are extract«*!. It Is not every American who realizes the enormous business done. In the first place, the Hour ia expresseil In terms of wheat by calling one barrel of flour the m]Ulvalent of live bushels of wheat The figures of arrivals show that 32LOÜO.U<X) bushels of grain were received In the last sta tistical year. Wheat In bulk was re- eclv e«l to the amount of 31.000.000 bush els. and maize to the amount of 134,- UUtl.iW. Few pcoph* have any Idea of the enor mity of the Insurance business of the l'ulted States. It not ouly exceeds that ■>f any other country, but Is twice as great as that of all the rest of the world combined. At the present time there Is In tlie United Htates about *12JXM).0(X),- <»») of life Insurance In force. Including assessment business. Tills means over JliiO for every man, woman and child in the country, or $■•*<) for every family. The annual risks written by the fire Insurance companies are estimated at 100,000,000,000, which is 1250 per cap ita. or fl.250 per family. Thus it will ba seen that every family In the country on an average has Insurance assets of over »2,000. A Kansas Oetosenarlan. Squire L. D. Chaddon. of Wellington, Kan., who celebrate«! his eighty-fourth birthday recently, when a boy used to go Into the woods after squirrel* with Roecve Conkling. He chewe«l tobacco for half a century, and then quit. 11« finds bls pipe « comfort. He never took a drink of red liquor at a liar. After sixty years of married life, Mrs. Chaddon still does all her own house work, except the fnmlly washing, an«! the squire says he has to rea<! the riot act once In a while to head her off from doing that. Met Their Match. Clarence Well, were your friends. Mrs. Hobloi and Mrs. Dobbs, cong«-u- lai? Clara—Oh. Clarence, each found an opportunity to tell me that the otb»r was the biggest talker she had ever met I »etrolt Free PreM. H|>a«l*‘* M««le n*,ni H«»r»r»hoe«». Chinese spade* from British burse- ■ hoes sounds like an absurd statemeut. but the fact I* that sbiphvaiU of old horseshoes leave I^vndon for China. All these come tiack to I.oodon In the form of »pa«les. having been ao trans formed by the ing<*nl<>us natives.
