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About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 8, 1902)
from songs of TWO, His Way. THE THRILLING “CYCLE WHIRL.” We thought when Love nt last should come The rose would lose its thorn. And every lip but Joy's be dumb When Love, sweet Love, was born; That never tears should start to rise. No night o'ertake our morn, Nor any guests of grief surprise When Love, sweet Love, was born. JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA- RIOUS HUMORISTS. Pleasant Incidents World Over Occurring the Saxiugslhut AreL'hrer- ful to Old or Young—Funny Selec And when he came. O Heart of mine! And stood within our door. No joy our dreaming could divine Was missing from his store. The thorns shall wound our hearts again. But not the fear of yore. For all the guests of grief and pain Shall serve him evermore. —Arthur Sherburne Hardy. tions that You W ill Enjoy. The “cycle whirl” is the latest sensation of the bicycle world, says the New Y’ork Journal. This apparatus makes it possible to hold bicycle races on the stage of a theater. In fact, there are two pursuit races daily at a New York theater, in which several noted stars of the cycling world take part. The men whirl around the basin with almost incredible speed. So steep is the track banked that the men appear to defy the laws of gravitation. To the spectators they seem to tie riding arouud a picket fence slightly tilted, lu order to cover a mile the cyclist has to make between 125 and 150 laps. When two nre going at full speed they present the appearance of two colored streaks flying around with lightning speed. "Pare Devil" Schreyer of mile-a-mfnute fame, and King and Samuelson, known as the "hobo" team in the recent six day bicycle race at New York, are among the men who risk their lives daily giving exhibitions in the "wooden bowl." It takes skill of no mean order to race in this latest evolution of the bicycle “I hope." said the drummer, "you . Went with tlie ship. were quite satisfied with my report for “Did they give you a variety to eat the past month.” ou shipboard?" "Well,’’ replied the head of tlie firm, "Well, yes; but vve had rolls almost "there waa one part of it that really every meal." 1'lilladelphia Bulletin. exceeded our expectations.” “And wliat was that?" An Alternative. "Your expense bill."- -Catholic Stand Floor Walker I'm very sorry, mad ard. am, but I cau't exchange this bat for you. Onto Ills Game. Mrs. Smltbsou But my busbaud Clubb My w ife's going around with doesn't like it. a chip ou her shoulder to-day. Floor Walker -Then l'il advise you Chubb—That so? Clubb—Yes. she found one In my to get a divorce. e .-3 HE bent rolled up In waves from pocket this morning.—Philadelphia jP the sun soaked lund into an at- Fress. Biosphere already surcharged A Huggestion. with beat. For a number of hours the The Angry Father—What do you ex birds bad ceased song aud twitter. The peet me to do- send you all the money sharp chr-r-r of the grasshoppers aud you ask for, or calmly allow you to go the steady click, dick of the harvester into debt. seemed to voice tile misery cuused by The Sou—You might do both.—Life. the stilling air. Not the slightest breeze rutiled the broad expanse of ripened wheat; not a motion except of men, track. machine aud horses. White streaks of lather showed ou the horses wherever WIT THAT AVERTED A RIOT. touched by a strap of leather, aud feel her strong, young heart beating though they lagged miserably at their wildly against bis owu as she cluug work the driver was too enervated by to him in an agony of fear aud dread. John Brougham's Well-Timed Joke Calmed a Turbulent Crowd. the beat to urge them to a livelier Why had site left him? He had asked “There have been a good mauy sto himself the question tiuudreds of times gait. rles told of the quick wit of actors w ho A tall, broad-shouldered young man since sbe bad left him—three mouths have turned an accident or a panic or walked toward the team aud held up ago. He suspected that sbe bad gone a row luto a Joke." said Tom Leigh, vue baud with a gesture of command. home: it was only fourteen miles away, the old time ai tor. "A good mauy of "Take the horses, Mart, and put them but be was too proud to make auy tlie stories are fakes, 1 suppose.” he In the shadow of the barn; they’ll get search for her. Surely sbe would come continued, "but some are true, aud suustruek if you don’t look out. We’ll back some time! Mart's words burned there are lots that have never found quit, all of us, until It cools off a lit bis ears, though be did uot believe their way into print The press ugeut their evil suggestion. tle.” wasu't as numerous or as clever iu ibe "It’« over, 1 guess,” Mart's voice He walked slowly toward the bouse old days as lie is uow. Office Boy—Only when de boas is and threw himself down In the shade broke upon bls thoughts. "1 remember an instance In which lookin'. He went to the door and unlmlted It. of the porch The other men louuged ■IoIm Brougham carried off a most dlf It opened outward, aud when be She Doesn't Speuk to Him. in the shadow of the barn. ticult situation by a clever bit of iui “Miss Amy Teur doesn't speak to "Good thing Jeff Cooper thinks some pushed it struck something that bad provisatiou and saved the old Wiutei thing of Ills bosses.” muttered Mart. been blown against It. He pushed a I Garden from the disgrace of a riot, li Sharp any more." little harder: the door opened a crack, "No.” was tlie tirst uiglit ou w hich be played and the man lookiug over Jeff's shoul bls burlesque 'Columbus' there aud Ike "He asked her If she wasn't getting lots of returns from her literary work." der. said.— bouse was tilled with his friends. —New York Weekly Sun-Times. “The house's left, for one thing." "Among the most enthusiastic of They pushed hard against the door these friends were a great crowd of Anxious to Please Him. until Jeff could squeeze through, lie Fenians, beaded by Mahoney, the man The Bride—John, do you know any looked down at bis feet. who had just tbeti been elected presl thing about high balls? "Hilda!” dent of the Irish republic at the old "Why. er-r, y-yes'm ” At his feet, her long, fair hair swept Fenian beadquarters iu 17tb street "Then 1 wish you would cook several about her by the wind, lay Hilda. One lliere was a Jollification iu honor of for my husband's dinner. I heard him arm sheltered the baby that Jeff bad ids election, and as he was a personal tell a friend that he dearly loved them." never seen; it moved and cried, but friend of Brougham's it was natural -Life. Hilda lay motionless, her white, up i a i he and Ills followers should buj turned face ghastly beneath Its coat up all the orchestra seats lu tlie bouse The Crucial Test, “Y'ou say you love my daughter?" ing of dust. Jeff took the baby from for the opening uigbt. as they did. growled the old man. "Have you ever her arms and gave it to one of the "I was in the cast, aud so was Jack men- be then stooped to raise Hilda. Studly. but if anybody else iu the com heard her sing?" "No. sir,” w as the trembling reply. Mart sprang forward to help, but Jeff pany is now alive I dou't remember “Then how do you know you love pushed him asidetl and, unassisted, who it Is. 1 played the part of a big AT HIS FEET LAY HILDA. carried her to the house and put her Indian who first appeared on tlie stage her?" demanded the long-suffering par- “He don’t care for anything but what upon the bed. His face was as color eut.—Philadelphia Record. costs him money. No wonder bis wife less as hers as he rubbed bis bands as a messenger bringing dispatches from Washington. To Whom I* Referred. left him.” and called her by all the old endear “Just as I came on a discussion that Sunday School Teacher—Now, Willie "Where did she go?" asked one of the ing names she bad been accustomed to had sprung up among some of the ex Green, what are we to understand men. lazily. bear from lus lips. cited Fenians developed Into a quarrel when the Bible speaks of people who, “Nobody knows, unless she went "No use, Jeff; she's gone; you can't The house was already disturbed and having eyes, see not. back to her folks.” bring her to.” said one of the men, iu Willie Greeu—I guess It must mean "What did she go for?” questioned the bushed tones one uses In the pres there was every prospect of a tight In the orchestra In another minute. policemen.—Philadelphia Record. the man again. ence of the dead. “I delivered my message and i "Got tired of workln’ like a beast, I “She is not dead! She must not die!" Puzzled Him. guess. All Jeff married her for was to contradicted Jeff. “Hilda! Hilda!" Brougham replied to me in the words First Tramp (iu the road)—Why don't ' work. She used to milk the cows, take There was more determination than of the piece: you go in? The dog’s all right. Dou't " 'Confound you. have done." care of the bosses and do most all the despair in the cry. “Then turning from me to the foot you see him waggiu’ his tail? chores, then go into the tield and work. "I can feel her pulse," be cried, hope Second Tramp—Yes. and he's growl She drove the team all through har fully, a few moments later. At last lights he went od . as If It was a part in’ at the same time. 1 dunno which of Ills speech: vestin’ last summer." she opened her eyes, but there was end to believe.—Tit-Bits. "She was a Swede, wasn't she?” no look of recognition in them. After "Or would you like a band of Fenian brothers, "Yes; a strong, red-cheeked young awhile the dazed, bewildered expres A Durwlniun. woman, with big blue eyes, ano .iair sion left her face, and her lips parted Al) fame abandon to defame each other? Isohel—How perfectly your frock fits, If with such sentiments I sent out any. just the color of that wheat held dowu iu a smile as she looked at Jeff, lie Remember I'm bead center here. Ma dear. 1 thought you college girls soared there A young Swede was workin' motioned the men from the room and above such tritleg. honey. for Jeff, and they left about the same dropped upon bls knees beside the bed. Hypatia -Oh, no! We tielleve iu the “There was a roar of laughter from time; guess there ain't much doubt-----’’ "Hilda, bow could you leave me tlie whole house at this, and the Fell survival of tlie best fitted. “It's a lie!" so?" Ians joined in It as heartily as any one Overdid It. The men jumped and turned to look A troubled look catne into the child else. There was no further talk or Subbubs—Yes. 1 used to have to play into Jeff Cooper's white angry face. He like blue eyes. indication of trouble and the play went was trembling, but bis voice was cool “They did tell me—Mart's woman, on without Interruption.”—New York cribbage with the cook iu the evenings to keep her amused. aud steady. and the others—that all you cared for Sun. Backlots—Aud dou't you have to "My wife never left with any man; It me was to work. And sometimes I felt Had Found His Strong Point. now? was not like her. No better, truer that the work was too hard, so I A member of the bar uot richly en Subbubs—No. She's left. She discov woman ever lived, and any man who thought I would go away till I was dares to say anything different may an once more strong and could work for dowed with Intellect after years of ered that I was purposely allowing tier brieflessness married a rich wldaw. to will, and it made her mad.—Philadel swer to me." He clenched a pair of you.” huge lists and looked at Mart, who did "They lied, Hilda! It was you I She died. Again lie sought a bride phia Press. not auswer for a moment, then he wanted, not your work! Where were with a large dower and again became Not of the tipper Ten. a widower Then he thought lie would asked,— you when the cyclone struck?" Mrs. Nexdoor—1 have found out one return to his long neglected profession "What did slie go away for, then, She wrinkled her forehead a little In thing about Mrs. Newcomer. Whoever He approached an old friend, w ho had and where is she?” anxious thought. she is, she has never moved in good meanwhile become a Judge of the 8u "1 don't know: but I know that when “I was home. I went out with baby, society. 1 find her she will be as good aud pure and i turned this way and vwilked a preme Court, and asked what in his Mr. Nexdoor—How do you know opinion would be the wisest course for as a little child." loug time; then 1 saw the cyclone com tbat? him to pursue “ Stick to the probate “Pity you hadn't 'predated her a lit ing and was so afraid." She shud Mrs. Nexdoor—Sbe shakes hands as tle more w lieu you liad her." returned dered and Jeff patted her hand reas and matrimonial.” said the Judge. If she meant it.—New York Weekly. Mart, scornfully. " 'Most always If a suringly “Then I run. Ob, 1 run Qua! nt Southern Epitaph. man thinks anything of bis wife he miles, miles! Then tlie wind took me A Charleston. S. C.. churchyard con A Golf Enthusiast. don't set her to workln' outdoors, like up. and then-1 forget till I saw you. tains the dust of many eminent men “I hear your husband is a golf enthu a man.” Jeff.” and several queer epitaphs. The epi Blast, Bridget." "1 never wanted her to work out Mart put bis bead in at the door. taph of Charlotte Eltord. who died on “Shnre he Is, ma'am.*’ doors. She liked to 'tend the horses "The roof of the barn's gone, and thr May 0, 1817. says that— “Has he done any good work on the aud drive them, to sit on the harvester harvester's missing, and every bundle She was links lately?" and watch the wheat fall. 1 did every of ».beat's been blowed gal'ay west, < ) bedient. In Childhood, "Siiure. he has. He cut the grass th' Virtuous. thing foi her that I could. You thought and all that was standin' Is flat. It I ■ Wedlock, day."—Yonkers Statesman. 11 h ni ble. I n Prosperity, when you built a mud house for your was a terrible cyclone, now I tell Iloflixned. 1 ■ Adversity, wife that you had done wonders; I you.” On the Ties. In Sickness, Patient. built a frame bouse for mine, and put Willie—I’a, Is acting a trade or a pro Jeff turned a happy face, and said.— Happy. In Death. fession ? a porch on it. when every lioard in It “Not a terrible cyclone, a blessed one: They now say that bud grammar Is cost me most a bag of wheat, and that it brought my wife back to me.”—Farm I’a—You'll be absolutely safe, my a disease. We are afraid we have It. at the railroad twenty miles away.” son. If you call It a "walk iu life.”— and Fireside. “Look! ’Look!” Interrupted one of Philadelphia Press. the men. “A cyclone."’ The men jumped to their feet. They A Nightmare. From my thoughts 1 cun banish could hear the distant roar coming Her face if I will. nearer and nearer, and all earth and But the bill for the roses the heavens seemed tilled with the la unsettled still. gathering fury. "It's going south of us.” said Mart, Wouldn't Be a Party to It. hopefully. Tailor-I an t you pay my ’»111 to “There's enough of it coming here. day. sir? I nets! the money, as I'm Get the horses into the cellar, quick!” going to be married next week. commanded Jeff, ruuning as be spoke Cuatomei is confirmed bachelor)— to the horses.that stood pulling at their | What? Going to be married? Su>n a halters, tbelr sensl ive ears pricked for foolish thing, and on my money i Nev ward as they scented the coming tor er!—Der Dorfbarbler. nado. In a moment men and horses were in the cyclone cellar and the No Gymnasium Needed. Uncle Abner .81 Green lea Fa boy heavy door bolted. Tbrongh the thick didn't l am much at college, but he earth banking they could hear the Here is'a new game, which is causing a great deal of amusement at social cutue home with an arm like a black erash as the cyclone struck. gatherings in Europe. Mfilth. “It’s a big one.” said Mart; “If we Two hoys or young men are blindfolded, and ¡9 the right hand of each 'a Um lc Amos—Well, be could have got get the whole of It you won’t see your pls ed a stout roll of paper in the form of a club or cudgel. 1 he players then botise, barn, harvester or wheat unless have to lie down on the carpet and to grasp each other by the left hand. There an arm Ilk» a blacksmith by bein’ a blacksmith—Judge. you go Into another county and gather upon the fun begin« One of the players aska the other: them up.” “Are you there?" Culinary Not«. Jeff did not answer. He was not When the anaser "Yea" comes be raises hia right hand and strive» to bit Cann'bsl Klug's Chamberlain—Your with hi« cudgel the apot where, from the «ound of the voice, be auppoaea the thinking of the »afety of his pr-p- -ty. Highness. this missionary hope» you other player'a head to be. but of his wife. Was she safe out of The other player, however. 1« at perfect liberty to move hi. head after he will spare him. lie claims be 1» a the tra.-k of the cyclone? How fright h i. answered "Ye«." and the result ia that in sine rases ont of ten the blow great cook. and a genius at making up ened she bad been the summer before, mioses bio head an I falls on hi« «boulder» or sortie "tber part of bis body new dainties out of bla bead. when Just a slight cyclone had pa««ed In that c««e it i« hi« turn to retallsts. «nd so the game goes on in febniteiy. Cannibal King You Inform him I through bls fields! How she had ' lung the sole object of the player who ask« the qu-sti.,» be mg to strike th. other Intend having some »oup made out of to him In the darkness and perfect player a bead and that of the piafer who an.wers ts MVe hia besd from •*»«< bls bead this nuoa ' -Broohlyu Eagle. j safety of the cellar! He could still GAMES WITH PAPER ROLLS AMUSE SOCIETY. st meh. "My nephew. Jim Rush, ha» got a pretty cousideruble business sort of head on him." »aid the Old Codger, re- ceutly. "He was to have married a girl over ut Goshkoti'Uig at 2 o'clock last Wednesday afteruoou, but lie fouud out tliut there was a washout on the railroad and be couldn't possibly get there till some lime lu the uigbt. So he Just telegraphed the girl: "'I uavoidably delayed. Dou't marry till I come!' l’uck. The Way of a Woman. Dolly If y >u didti't tell tier, how did you let her know that you hated her? Madge W lien we met I kissed her three times. The Smart Set. It timorously llaoU ¡capped. Biblis It is very amusing to watch Beilers play golf. Gibbs Why? Bibbs lie has an impediment iu bis speech. The Smart Set. A Definition. First Boarder W hat is the exact meaning ot 'vlauds?" Second Boarder Oh! Things you get to eat when you don't board.— Fuck. I naccountutile I'no is lune nt. STRANGE SERPENT SLAIN IN EVERGLADES. "DRAGON OF 1'llE EVERGLADES." FROM A SKETCH BY AN INDIAN. <—> N enormous reptile, more Uko tl /A\ has been k i il drag er is the lower Everglade» « land serpent, For 106 year* it n„t ,,niy been a trad non atn >3g the Semi nolo Indians, who live in the Florida everglades, that au immense serpent made its home in that region, aud they atfirni that two Indians had been carried off by the monster. Recently Buster Ferrel, one of tbe boldest and most noted hunter« at Okoch> bee. who for tw.uty year« has made th- bonier of the lake and the everglade« hit home, on one of bi« periodical expedition« into one <Jf these lonesome wilds noted what he suppose I to Is* tbe ptibway of an immense al.igator. For sev- eral days lie visited the locality for the purpose of killing the saurian, but was unsuccessful in tin ling him. Fiually he decided to take a stand In a large cypress tree and await tbe coming of the alligator, taking provlst. ns to list him several days. For two days lie stood on watch, with his rifle ready, but without the desired success. He was becoming disco iryged, lint determined to give one more day to the effort. On the third day. before he had been on bis perch au hour, he was almost paralysed by what looked to him like an immense serpent gliding along the supposed alligator track, lie estimated it to he anywhere from twenty to thirty feet long and fully ten to twelve inches in diameter where tbe bead joined the body and a« large around as a barrel ten feet farther back. Tbe snrke stopped within easy reach of hi« R in in I raised Its head to take a precautionary view of Its surrounding«. As it did Ferrel opened fire on it. shooting at Its head. Taken by surprise, the serpent dashed into the march at railroad speed, while Ferrel kept up tire on it uutil he had emptied the magazine of his rille, but failed to stop It. About four days afterward he ventured back luto the neighborhood to see how things were, and aliont a mile from where he first saw the snake be saw a large flock of buzzards «nd went to see what they were after, and there he found the creature dead and its body so badly torn by the buzzards that it was impossible to save the skin. He however, secured it» head and has it now In his home on the Kissimmee river. It is truly a frightful looking object, fully te» inches from jaw to jay. with ugly, razorlike teeth. AMERICAN SCHOOLS EXCEL. Chicago Professor Gives Particular» o Delicieucy io European Schools. Tlie American schoolboy 1» two iucbea Mrs. Way back such u man as you taller tliau tbe average European don't deserve to have a wife. Mr. Wayback Exactly, Mrla. I've schoolboy of a like age. writes Prof | wondered lor years what 1 have ever W att, of Chicago. I am positive of this declaration afier a tour of Inspection done to tieserve this.-Judge. of tbe various schools of Europe, and I place the usefulness of the Instruction An Alphabetical Courtship. “Yes," said the lair young girl. "1 Imparted, from an educational and a luid a great many alphabetic al court hygienic point of view, us follow» ships while 1 was iu the country Ibis First, tlie United States; second. Eng land; third. Germany, closely followed summer." ! "ludeed?” he murmured, not kuow- by France and Russia. There Is a great difference In the iug vv bat else to say, but beiug anxious school systems, but In two ways la this to get at the next paragraph. 1 "Yes,” she continued; "you know I more noticeable, viz., Inspection ot school work and Its results. The system would roll my eyes, ami (lieu the Jays had to follow the eyes, didu't they?"— of Inspection abroad has been develop ed to such an extent that It is more of Baltimore American. a science Ilian an ordinary routine, as •n tills country. The Inspector spends | Conditions ini provings. Easterner ton his vacation) I believe at least a day a month in each room, there Is less of vice ami erime among making copious notes of both teachers' tlie Indians out here than there Used and pupils' work, criticising In o|>en class the deficient studies and com to be. Is there not? Comanche I'ete—You're right, pard. mending those that are satisfactory. 1 am willing to concede that It Is pos Th' liain't er. many Injuns ez they sible to be more definite abroad tlian used to be.—Chicago Tribune. at borne, owing to more specific alms In Tlie same openness of mind so notice- aide In tlie American youth Is totally lucking in tbe foreign student, aud be Is held to the facts In bls books until he lias no breadth of range. He spends much less time In the open air and takes less exhilarating exercise than our boys. Add to this the scientific ven tilation of our classrooms, the dash of our methods, shorter hours of Instruc tion. more cheerful nietliods. periods of relaxation more frequent, and It I» no wonder our Ivoys grow two inches taller than tbe foreign boys when taken agu for age. Tbe American does not work a colt liefore he has grown, and It Is on this idea that our educators refrain from putting our students to tbe severest mental test. We do not a«k how much can possibly be- accomplished by a child, but how mueb Is best for him. The fullest answer to the whole ques tion Is to compare the ages of the aver age college graduate In this country It averages about 22 years, while abroad It Is about 28 years, nnd from that we see that our pupils progress slowly In an educational line at first, but after the faculties are thoroughly developed a very rapid advance Is made, and we spoon in his mouth " “It must a' been a tablespoon." A Matter of Course. "Your love for me,” declared Hor ace 11 uulmotieigh, while tlie lamlient rays of the moon cast a soft radlauce alsiut them, "lias made me rich." "linn!" sighed Glndiola Gottlierox, “I should think it would. You haven't got a cent and papa left me a million dollars. 1 should think it would make you rich, Horace.” And tin* moon bustled under a cloud. —Baltimore American. AMERICA. ENOLAND. GERMANY. FRANCE. the minds of both the educators and alm as nearly as possible to devolep the text-book writers. Text books nre rare mental and physical natures ot tbe stu ly changed abroad, and a student Is dent at tbe same time. The success of taught rather to grasp and retain de this plan, I think. Is evident from the tailed Information than look for It lu number of young men at tbe bead of himself. Blinders, as It were, are tbe many large industrial establish placed on bls eyes, so that lie Is unable ment» »ucce»sfully competing with tbe to look sidewise. Certainly these scbools product of tbe world iu every Hue. are more advanced in theory than ours, Her Mind Needed a Heat. hue we surely excel them from a practi Only One Living. He wan only a ball-room boarder per- cal side. We aim to Impart a theoreti Friend Doe« the new landlady at cal and practical education combined, liaps, and »till be had some rights that your boarding house appear to bq get and more nearly to procure tbe acme of a chambermaid at ÿ'2 a week aud found ting a living out of It? usefulness !n after years. Then. too. the was bound to respect He bad been Boarder—Yes. she Is. but we are not. natural tendency of the American waiting In the debris of a night's rest —New York Weekly. youth to apply knowledge as soon as for tbe young chamber lady to come acquired Is a superiority that greatly around and straighten things up. but The Signal. up to 10:30 she find not appeared, and Mrs. Chatterton «Bunday morning)— aids the teacher to attain results. Prob as it was Sunday morning and be bad Goodness! There go tlie church bells. ably. nnd most likely, the lack of the foreign student of this esaentlal Is on u day lu lie rather felt that he would John. like to see things iu some kind of shape Chatterton Yes, hurry; It is time tc account of tlie system of supervision and restriction that obtain abroad It Is liness. so be went boldly out into the go and play golf. Brooklyn Eagle. aluioat a crime for a Junior clerk to sug hall, where she was cbattlug pleasantly The fume Thing. gest an Improvement to the manager with tbe elevator boy. aud addresaed Blobbs I would rather starve than of a corporation mid likewise It is con her. “When are you going to fix my ■Idered very bud for a »tudeut to ad be a poet. room?” he inquired In a tone showing Slobbs What’s the difference?— vauce any Ideas In class. I 'III ladelpli 111 Record. Any one of the foreign scbools Is bet slight traces of irritation, but uot uu- ter equipped, more expensive to main pardonably rude. Probably Wouldn't. “Oh, I don't know." she responded, tain mid la'tter Utted to exert an liiflu "Hello," the tirst deaf mute s lingers with a haughty toss of her bend; “I slgmihsl rapidly; “did you get that Job cnee In the student Inaly than ours, but haven't made up my mind yet.” the medieval practice of restrictions as office boy?” This was more than lie could endure. “No,” replied the other deaf mute; places them beyond the pale of our "Aw. your mind be darned." be work. Omitting the English scbools. “the man said he didn't think I'd au any one of tbe others has a distinct ad growled; “you make up my bed and let ewer."- 1'll 1 111• 1«• 11 >11in Record. vantage over our schools from tbe fact your mind rest a while."—Washington that reading and spelling are mastered Star. One Idea of I dent. In tbn-e years, because words are Nell He makes au ideal husband. A Question <»f Need. Belle Yes; he seemed to realize from spelled as spoken. Many of our puj Ils "Wliat have you done with all ths the very first that lie couldn't have are unable to read English after ten anything bis own way. Philadelphia years' steady application. Arithmetic is money I gave you for campaign pur much easier abroad, tweause the tables poses?" asked Seuator Sorghum. Record. “I have put It where It was needed.” are founded on the decimal system, like Preparing the Impromptu. our money, and require very little mem answered the agent. “That's wliat I thought.” waa the dis Great orators have generally refused orizing It Is comeded that a boy com to speak ou tlie spur of tlie moment on Ing out of the preparatory school on consolate answer. “Before I can rely Important themes. Demosthenes, the the continent la about two years ahead on getting It all placet! I suppose I vs king of orators, would never sj»-ak lu of our l>oy of the same age who la grad got to wait until you get more than you While need.”—Washington Star. a public meeting without previous natlng from our high school thorough preparation. Daniel Web this la true, our boy has done at least Family Pride. ster. when once pressed to speak on a three years more work In mastering tbe “Mr. Cumrox la only suffering from reading spelling and grammar of our subject of great Importance, refuted, an ordinary cold. I believe." said tbe saying that lie was very busy and bad difficult language with Ita barbarous sympathetic visitor. no time to master It. When a friend s|H*lllng aud numeroua Irregularities of “Well.” answered Mrs. Cumrox. grammar urged that a few word* from him "we've done our bent to keep It from Then. too. our high aehools take In all would do muilt to awaken public at being ordinary We've sent for tbe tention to the subject he replied: "If clave»» of boys who can afford to re most expensive physician In tbe city." there tie so much weight In my words main In acbool. because we are an edit — Washington Star. It Is lieeause I do not allow myself to i-ateil [H-ople. while In Europe no com speak on nny subject until my mind mon boys attend the secondary schools, obviously Not. ■That baker keeps presenting bls 1» Imbued with It." On one occasion only those who are In training for pro Webster made a remarkable speech fessiotial careers and who are supposed bill." »«Id tbe debtor, "aa If be needed without notes before the Phi Beta to tie s|>e<-ially well endowed mentally tbe dough." "Perhaps." said tbe highly humorous Kappa Society at Harvard University enter those school» at all. Again, the and a Imok was presented to him. Af matter of Atting a pupil so that be Is | friend. "If he doesn t get the dough he ter be bad gone a manuscript copy of able to step Into an office a» aoou as be can't knead any more."—Baltimore bla eloquent "Impromptu" address la oat of tbe high school Is not consider , American. carefully written, was found In tbe ed abroad as It Is here Little or no at , Tlie Count Came >'ir-t. tention is devoted to n hat we call com * book, which be bad forgotten to tak inerelal training, such as shorthand. * 1 "Misa Bondy baa married some away Philadelphia I'ost. -yi»ewrltlng and commercial law This blooming titled foreigner. "Count?" Action« may speak louder than mstrui tlou Is only obtained )>y a Euro- “I think be did.”-Smart Set. pean Student In I college course. words, but they don’t lie as loud.
