Image provided by: Eugene Water & Electric Board; Eugene, OR
About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (June 1, 1901)
INTERNATIONAL EXPOSITION at 0LAS09W. SCOTLAM) as an old friend. Fie la HISTORY OF RUBBER.! everywhero under next to no expeuse. and If it HUMOR OF THE WEEK’ WORLD HAS BEEN SLOW TO AP- PRECIATE ITS USES. Man Who Came with lolumbu« Haitians 1’laxing to Exclude Ball Water from »aw tarly I «ed Coats Boots—Increasing I m ;» or tat Iona. and rains on any given date he simply stays over and give* the show the next night I thought of the trials and vexations of STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. piloting a big company over tbe road," added the advance agent, "and I en vied him from the bottom of my Odd, Curious and Laughable Phase« heart.” of Human Nature Graphically Por F-wiled Him. trayed hy Eminent Word Artists of Pe«sn»««. Mr. Isaacsteln—Mlstber Goltatoln, dlt a shentleman gome tn here a leedle vil» ago mlt hees bat all smashed und dirty, und puy a new one? Mr. Goldstein—Veil, rnaype he might, I dutiuo. Mr. Isaacateln—Veil, If he dlt, I glalm a bercentage. Mr. Goldstein—Vy la dot? Mr. Isaacstein- l’ecause It vas mln« leedle Ikey vat trowed der panana peel on der sitevalk. Our Own liar A Budget of Fun. Up in llark-iu there lives an old gen tleman who is remarkable for bl» ab- "The world was a long time learning «eiit-mlndednesa, his nervousness aud Farmer See here, you! You remem True Love. the uses aud value of rubber. Fur two his disposition to go off at half cock. ber putting two lightning rods on nty Briggs Do you think he really loves centuries after the Spaniards saw the The other night he attended a dinner barn last spring, didn't you? Well, that her? gum iu the hands of natives of the new and did not reach home until 1 o'clock. barn was struck six weeks after and Griggs Of course. How can be help world, it was little more tbau a curi He was feeling pretty good, but be was burned down. but love a girl with as much money as osity. uld Herren, who weut with Co- : master of bls movements. He does not Peddler- Struck by lightning? that? lumbus ou bis second voyage, made a J carry a night key. as he seldom goes out “It was.” rush and Pull. uote of au elastic ball w hich was mold after dark, so he rang the doorbell, and "In the daytime?" She—He's In the push, all right ed from the gum of a tree. At their his daughter, who hail been sitting up “No; at night.” He- How did he get there? games the nude Haitians made it for him, opened the door. Her mother “Must'»' been a dark night, wasn't She—Oh, be had a pull. bouud liigli iu the air. The Aztecs were had gone to bed aud was sound asleep. It?” familiar with the gum aud called It , The daughter is a rather waggish “Yes; dark its pitch.” Spring Warnin». ule, and from them the Bpauiards young woman, and. as she opened the “Lanterns burnin'?” Ix*t us then be up and working learued to smear it ou their coats to door, she said: "Just thluk—it's 1 With our hoe and with our spade. “What lanterns?” Thein ernaUon.il Expo. ’ ■«. Scotland, recently..p.-ned.lsbuilt on th. finest site in the city, in the West End keep out the wet. They had crossed o'clock and papa Isn’t In bed." If we ever do expect to pirk. Thegrounds and building, coyer 103 acres. Just under the buildings i. the River Kelvin, and bevon I are the .teen “Didn't you run lanterns up 'em dark Have our kitchen garden made. the seas fur gold, aud never dreamed banks of the river dotted with white pavilions On the top of the banka, throned above the whole city, ia the univer.itv. "What!" yelled the old gentleman. nights?” Toward* the right are the terraces whnh mark the sky line, green ramparts ou which are built some of the mansions of a time when the sticky milk the uu- "Not iu bed? Where Is he, then? Oh. “Never heard o' anything like that." W l«e KestraluL here the wealthier resident, of the city have their homes. couth ludiaus drew from strange trees be must be in bed!” "Well, if you didn't know enough to "There's one characteristic In men I * The building, are •“'» ’hr‘* Parts, the industrial hall, the art gallery. lnd the machinery hall. Apart from would be worth more tliau all the ; "You can look for yourself, father," keep your lightning hh I s »bowin’ you profoundly admire." Great Britain an 1 Ireland. Russia is the largest exhibiter, and its buildings form one of the most striking features of treasure of the hills. (On Feb. 23, 1890, 1 said she with a grave countenance. needn't blame me. G lang!” "What Is It, Becky?” the exhibition Next in importance to the Russian is the French section, occupied by 400 exhibitors. Canada is the a ship carrying a cargo of 1.167 tons Up tbe stairs he hurried, full of ex “They can be so raging mad at each greatest exhibiter among the British co onies. The United States is not officially represented, but American manufac of rubber valued at $2,210,990 sailed citement. He ran luto tbe bedroom. A turers are represented, particularly in th - machinery section. other and not show it.” from l'ara, for New York, leaving 200 light was dimly burning, his wife was Not a Buffalo. tons behind ou the wharf.) .lose, King sound asleep, but she was alone. the lost garden . dark, gloomy face, that for flve years tle hand that held them, he beut and of Portugal, iu 1555, comes dowu to us "Agulnaldo says he will not attend His daughter had followed him up the Buffalo exposition." she bad louged, yet dreaded, to see, kissed his wife tenderly. as the wearer uf n pair of boots sent stairs. -Somewhere in the distant Southland “Why not?" had completely unnerved her. With "Our baby's shoe!” said be with a out to l’ara to be covered with a water "My heavens, daughter, where can Blouins a garden—lost to me— "Because he Is not a Buffalo."—Ohio the past thus opened, the waves of smile.—Philadelphia Item. proof gum. Yet three liuudred years he be?" cried the old man In alarm. Warm with poppies burning fragrant. State Journal. memory submerged her. Five yeats were to elapse before a Connecticut "Here he Is, father," said the young Drowsy tires I may not see. before Bernice Colby had been a happy Yaukee should make a pair of boots woman, leading him up to the mirror DAVID D. THOMPSON. A Man of Peace. wife and mother. Then the dark angel of rubber which would not decompose. over the chiffonier. ••Subtle shadows flit and beckon Biggs There goes a man who will Down dim pathways bound with yew, had snatched from her arms their pre Be I» the First Liyman Ever Dr. Priestley,author of a work ou 'Per tight at tbe drop of a bat. Tbe old man looked and tumbled, and Methodist Editor. Where a white wraith wan lers louely cious burden. Selfishly yielding to the spective,' uow forgotten, recorded that it cost him a half dozen pairs of gloves Diggs -Who la he? David D. Thompson, a Methodist 'Twixt the darkness and the dew. grief that overwhelmed her, she had Biggs—Justice of the peace.—Ohio layman, of Chicago, was elected edi caoutchouc (pronounced 'kachook'» was to keep the incident from reaching tbe neglected her wifely duties until her State Journal. tor of the Northwestern Christian Ad useful In small cubes for rubbing uut ears of bls wife. New York Evening "In the ruined walls that echoed husband had sought more cheerful pencil marks hence the name rubber. World. Dace to happy-hearted moods. vocate by the Methodist General Book Friday Not t nlucky. company and consolation In the wine The ludia linked with It refers to the Xow the stealthy, lightfoot lizard. Qulzz—Do you thing Friday an un Committee at Cincinnati. Five ballot« An Exclusive Colony. cup. Suddenly awakened to his Intem savages who gathered It in the Amazon Unmolested rear their broods. lucky day to move? were taken, with Thompson and 8. J. Those who work In the Du Pont pow perate habits, repugnance and disgust wilderness. Dr. Priestley's cubes were Blzz Not for me; I moved on Friday Herben, New York, leading. This is for the time, swept love from her heart, half an inch long and sold for three der mills on tbe Brandywine, In Dela- . "And beneath the oleanders. and found out if I'd waited until Sat the first time a layman has been elect No clear voice sings, as of old; and heedless of his repentance and re shillings, or seventy-five cents apiece. ware, form n queer colony. They are fruit you were carrying home last urday my goods would have been at- ed to such a position, and Is taken at But the fleet caressing sunbeams morse. she drove him from her with A stiff price, for the finest rubber to all Irish people, whose ancestors came night. Jone». How much did It cost ‘aclied for rent. Ohio State Journal. indicating the strength lay forces are Whisper secrets to their mold. stinging words of bitter scorn. day is a dollar a pound. Its price for to this country when the Du Pouts I you? exerting in the church. The so-called Compulsory. She sent him from her to do battle ten years has ranged from slxty-two started In business and went to work Jones—I don't know. The doctor Is "Though I follow as the southwind "Rock River proposition,” for "equal First Boarder Do you believe In the alone with that dreadful demon that cents to $1.09. The conversion of the for them, tor generation» the Du etill at the house. Fares his war through wood and plain, lay representation" in the Methodist salt cure? gum to useful purposes made but slow Pouts and these people have passed 1 lies In wait for the souls of the weak Though I quest.on hill and valley, General Conference, was drafted by An Innovation. Second Boarder No, but since our headway. The first waterproof doth their positions from father to »on. Like and the unwary. Upheld by the praise 1 shall never tind again "I notice,” said Bronco Bob, “that landlady gives us mackerel every morn Thompson in 1907, and adopted in HMM. in 1797 was the work of au English their employers, they Intermarry and of false friends, she deemed herself by that body, lie was an active mem- man. It was tentative, and. of course, are very exclusive. They live on what you make a rule at a political gatherin' Ing what's the use to object.—Ohio "My lost garden—where lie burled wise in thrusting from her so vile a 1 st of the Iaickland-Wyoming Church, It would not stand heat. In 1823 ire called Du Pout's banks, which are to have nil the speaker's close friends Slate Journal. Joys that swift the glad hours sped; thing, yet in the long and lonely years while residing in Cincinnati, and at Charles Mackintosh, of Glasgow, dis about three miles from Wilmington. an' partners lined up ou the platform Only one could bid me enter; that followed the voice of conscience The Hat Got IL Evanston, Ill., where he now lives; but covered naphtha, and, dissolving ruli- Tlie people of Wilmington know hardly with him." Only Love—anl Love is dead!” spoke loudly in her ear. It said that Dashleigh Did Miss Avoirdupois "Yea; he Is usually accompanied by he has never pleached. —Ainslee’s. anything about them, for they have few ber in it, produced a varnish which, she herself was. In a measure, respon The uew editor is 48, a graduate of when spread on cloth, made It really outside acquaintance», and their visits Rome of the distinguished men of Ills make an Impression ou you at the re sible for her husband’s downfall. That, ception last night? Delaware, Ohio, and is a son of a impervious to water. As late as 1830 are not frequent. Tbe hill» aliout the own party.” had she been stronger, braver, her love Flashlelgn No, I am happy to say It "Well, it's a mighty good Idea. In former superintendent for fifty year« the Importation of rubber into England batiks are tbe highest in Delaware, and and faith, her prayers and purity of of the Western Book Concern printing amounted only to 50,090 pounds. Iu It is at the base of them that these Crimson Gulch, when a man has any was my hat.—Ohio State Journal. living would have saved him. Alas! thing to say. he Jes' gets up on the keg 1891» no less than ltJ.075.584 pounds workers live. A Model Helatlve. She had not stood the test! And so, an' takes Ills chances. But I'll have The town Is lighted at night by the “1 reckon Bobby's got a letter from were consumed in that country, and tlie though lacking naught that riches can tbe boys adopt your way. It keeps the Ills uncle.” consumption In the United States electric plant In the works. Tlie pimple buy. Bernice Colby was a childless opposition from innkin' a man redick- have their own places of amusements, “Shouldn't wonder. He's alius been reached 51.tKHi.737 pounds. Most of the HE ladies of St. Mark’s were mother and a wife In name only. leous by coinin’ up behind an' gettln' purty kind to Bobby.” rubber used in the world still comes the principal being tbe Brandywine The rummage sale was still in prog the drop on him while he Is bowin' holding a rummage sale. Beau “Yes; he's the sort of feller that prom from equatorial South America, and the Club, which has a finer building than and scrapin’ to the folks In front."— ises to give a boy a lot of presents If tiful women, high bred and ress. and the next day Bernice stood forests where the Indians gathered ule any club iu Wilmington. They also have behind her table, smiling and gracious, Washington Star. dainty, stood behind the counters ami he's good, au' gives 'em to him any are as dense to-day and almost as little dances and theatricals frequently. Near handled wares with the deftness of though her bright face hid an aching ly every one of them lias lost a relative how."— I’uck. known to white men as In the time of Knon th for Him. heart. In turning over the garments their more humble sisters. The accumu by an accident in the works. They have Cortez."- Ainslee’s. Reuben I suppose Sa^ WIliffietree is upon her table, she missed one of the Chancad the Praacrlptloa. lation of cast-off articles, which clutter their own graveyard, too New York all th’ world tew yew, Josh? the attics of every household, was tiny blue shoes, and with a fa nt smile Press. Josh Wai, no; but she's all I want COMICAL WAS CORRIGAN. spread upon the counters and shelves. she took its mate and thrust it quickly uv It forty dertt good acres and a A Helpful Institution. Crowds of people, from the lowest to within the bosom of het dress. An Old-Faahlone I Truvclltig Showman pencil orchard!—Puck. As the day sped onward, a heavy and Ventrl*.oqni«t» A lunch room has been opened In the highest grade of society, thronged storm arose, the most severe of the Kansas City, under the auspices of tlie 'I suppose there are more queer by the store, elbowing each other rudely. Left. ways in the show business than In any Young Woman's Christian Association, Wylklns Did you ever run for office? At the further end of the long store was season. A whirlwind of snowflakes I other vocation on earth," said an ad where food 1» sold -at exact cost. The Watkyus—Yes. a table piled high with children’s cloth blinded her eyes as she left the store, Wylklns— What luck? vance agent, chatting after the perfor prices see in almost Impossible, tint Judi ing of every description. ‘ Your choice and hid from her view her own car mance n few niglita ago. "1 ran across cious management will accomplish Watkyns The office ran about twice for 25 cents!” was the motto upon the riage, as it stood among the long line one of the oddities recently," he con wonders. Cream of tomato soup Is sold as fast ns I did Somerville Journal. card, hung conspicuously above the ta- of waiting coaches. Turning in the wrong direction, she tinned, "in the person of a single hand for 5 cents; roast beef with potatoes, Tlie Benrtil of the lloubt. stumbled into the arms of a man stand ed entertainer, who lias been working tlie same; two salmon croquettes cost 2 “Don't you think some of our Con ing upon the curbstone. Starting back cents; mashed potatoes tbe same; peas, a quiet little circuit of his own for the she glanced up Into his face, and their department, where lie arose from an last twenty years, and Is beginning to 3 cents; cabbage salad, 4; apple pie, .»; gt-essmen w nste a great deal of their apprenticeship toasalatant editorship of time?" eyes met. think about retiring on a snug fortune, coffee, tea or milk, 3; cheese, 1 cent; the Western Christian Advocate. Re “Well," answered Senator Sorghum, “Ned!” two sandwiches, 5 cent»; a hot roll, 1 yet 1 doubt whether you could find it cntly he has had a similar position at with great deliberation, “you ought not “Bernice!" they both exclaimed in a soul in the city who ever heard of him cent; butter, 1 cent. The men have to be too hasty In Judging. Unless you breath. “Let me see you to your car Chicago. My discovery uf the gentleman was found out thia wonderful opportunity to For severnl years he was employed look through u man's private ledger, riage?” said the man, and without a due to a mislaid railroad schedule that get food at cost prices and are beglu word Bernice placed her hand within on various Cincinnati dally papers, and forced me to stop over night at a ning to edge their way In among the how are you going to know w hether he his arm. With the touch of those light was particularly Interested in the labor dreary little country town in West Vlr women. Unless they become too nu has been wasting Ills time or not?"— Patient—Doctor, would you mind fingers. Ned Colby's heart throbbed agitations of the '80’s, writing and ginla. Looking around the 'office' of merous they will not be debarred. Let Washington Star. stopping at the drug store and paying with the love of other days, and words speaking fearlessly as an advocate of the hotel, which was also dining room, us hope so kindly an Institution will The Spins« and • *« U for this prescription. I'm short of of tenderness trembled upon his lips. Christian socialism, and In behalf of reading room and smoking room. 1 was prosper, and pave the way for many Two little girls with »nub roses and change. labor. He has always advocated tern Placing her within the carriage, lie was similar ones. surprised to see a handbill announcing public school voices stood In frout of Doctor (hurriedly writing another pcrance reform, and wrote a pamphlet. ______________________ about to turn away, yet her hand still the window of a Third avenue drug prescription»—Excuse me. I made a "Abraham Lincoln and Temperance." that Comical Corrigan would give one Elephant» In England. clung to Ills arm, as she sa!d earnestly: store yesterday afternoon. mistake. You don't not'd any nerve Others of his ltooks are "Abraham of his well known and Justly popular While excavating for the foundations “Oh. Ned! are you not coming too?” “My!” »aid one. "Look at the medicine. Lincoln, the First American,” and •ntertalnmenta nt the brick church that for the new buildings of the Victoria “May I. Bernice?" questioned he, eag "Jolin Wesley, as a Social Reformer.' evening. The poster went on to say and Albert museums in South Kerning sponge»! 'Moat a thousuud of ’em. erly. One to He Avold-d. noMK, JOHN,” CKIED NIP. His fellow churchmen speak of him a« that there was nothing about the »how ton a car load of fossilized bone» whs What d’yer »'pose they use 'em all for? "Do you »ee that very ordinary look “Cotne!" answered bls wife, drawing a man of deep convictions and a thor to offend the most fastidious; that It brought to the surface by the workmen. I didn't think they was so many slates in' 'nan over there?” hie. Almost hidden beneath the pile him In beside her with both bands. ough Christian In action as well a« would include comic and sentimental These were taken in charge by Dr. In the world." The other little girl es; wliat of It?” was a little heap of baby shoes and “Home, John.” cried Ned to the won ballads. Imitations of wild beasts, ven looked at her companion with withering principle. Woodward, of tbe geological depart “He's a man with a history." stockings, and among them a tiny pair dering coachman, and the door closed triloqulsma. selections on fourteen sep acorn. Thompson has been editor of the ment, who pronounced them the re “A man with a history! Wbat has lie of blue shoes. They were a bit faded upon them. “Don't yer know," »he sniffed con Dally Advocate, published during Gen arate and distinct musical Instruments, and worn, with faint creases at heel Tears dimmed the old servant's eyes eral Conference session. Ills term will a funny stump speech and refined Jig mains of the primitive denizens of the temptuously. “that windows hns to be ever done?" soil that lived there before man came “Nothing at all. He’s selling the his and toe, where the chubby foot had nt the sound of that ringing voice. extend to May. 1904, at $4,250 a year and wing dancing, the whole to con to interfere with them. The bone» be washed?”—New York Commercial Ad tory by subscription.” pressed Its weight against mother's “Thank God! It's the master!” lie mut clude with 'an exhibition of prestidigi yertlser. Thompson has been for years assistant, longed, lie said to a Ixindon new spaper knee. The soft, white hand of the sales tered, as he gathered up bls lines. and since Dr. Arthur Edwards' death tation or parlor magic.’ A Tru« l*ruph«cv. representative, to the elephant, tbe stag Prclli«l>le I'oetry. lady seemed to linger caressingly upon "Bernice, like the prodigal son, I have "That sounded promising, so after acting editor of the Northwestern Ad "The late editor'» wife 1» aomethlng Bobbs There goes a fellow who got this particular pair, as she sorted over sinned against heaven, aDd In thy sight «upper I sauntered around to the brick and the primeval horse, and date back vocate. of a huinorlBt.” the clothing for each new customer. and am no more worthy----- ’’ church, which I found crowded to the to a time liefore Great Britain became >1 ,000 for a spring poem. "Indeed?" Isolated, ere yet the Straits of Dover I »obits Lucky fellow! American Fruit-Growing. "Hush. Ned! ” wlil*i>ered Bernice, cov There were round-faced Irish moth doors. I managed to get a seat, how “Yes; took a line from hl» original had Is-en cut through. Bobbs Yes, It was a poem to adver The United States leads all other na er., with their frowsy-he..de 1 offsprings ering bis lips with her hand; "I have ever. and. upon tny word. 1 haven't en tise a ear spring Baltimore American. salutatory aud placed It on bla tomb clinging to their skirls; yellow-haired done wrong, too. Let us forget the past tions In the matter of fruit growing joyed myself ns much for years,” stone." Not Learned In Society Way«. Straw lierrles were valued at JSO.OtX). quote* the New Orleans Tinies Demo Swedes, whose wondering blue eyes and begin our lives anew.” Ou the Beat, “What wa» it?’ "There Is no use of talking, ” said 000 last year, and grapes at $100,000, took in every detail of the crowded ta As she leaned towards him there fell crat. “I was transported buck to my Joakley Well, well, th» greed of “'We »re here to stay!*” ble. and dark-browed Italian women from the folds of her dress a tiny blue 000. boyhood's happy days, and for two one navy officer: "I can't help admiring these policemen! that man Noah. Tbe way he built his carrying their babies within shawls shoe. Holding It up, Bernice whispered solid hours I forgot I had a trouble on PefiawL If a woman's confidence In her bus Coakley Wliat'» the matter now? own boat and then sailed it was re Willie- Pa. whnt's an "old flamer* that were their only covering. Bernice softly: band makes you laugh, lie kind enough earth. Comical Corrigan turned out to Joakley—Why, haven't you heard markable." Pa—My son, when a man speaka of Colby served them all graciously and "The baby's shoe.” to both of them not to let her see It. i lie a plump, rosy person, with a flexible "Yes," answered the other. “It show about this new Copper Truat?—Phila “hla old Annie” be refere to aomethlng I face and a Jovial eye. and Ida entertain Thrusting bls hand Into bls coat sweetly, yet, as each turned away, her delphia Presa. The amateur violinist is continuallj ment was exactly what 1 remember ed good workmanship. But, you see, over which he used to burn hla money. eye glanced with half relief at the tiny- pocket, Ned drew out Its mate, and seeing at our old town hall w lien I whs Noah wasn't obliged to represent any blue shoes, still unclaimed. crushing them both together In the llt- bowing and scraping. It lured Her. Hefi^ed Hepsrtce. “No," said the man In tbe mackin a little shaver of 1» or 10—the same Iwsly diplomatically when he touched “How foolish I am!” she whispered to “I never tell all 1 know,” he said. In good, old jokes, the same conundrums, at foreign porta. I doubt very much if tosh, "my wife doesn’t give away any herself. "Why cannot I give them up?” the same stories, the same songs I lie would have known bow to behave of my old clothes or sell them to tbe tending to be mysterious. With a sudden impulse she held them , “Well," she replied, "It certainly can’t don't believe I missed a single boyhood In a drawing room." rngiuau any more. I cured that habit out as a broad-faced Irish woman, with , l>e because you don't have time.” favorite. In the ventriloquism selection * child In her arms, stood beside the I effectually once." Hickle from the Hptilnx. table. he hauled out the two dolls I hadn't "How was that?" they asked him. The country seems to have gone »Peculation mad. Never before in Amer seen for so many years, |>erched them Hawsers of Monster Wise. The oldest piece of wrought Iron In “When I fould »be had disposed of a "Och! Mem, but them's foine, in- The largest cable of modern times .» •Jade.” said the woman, with a gay lea's history has this mania been so paramount as in the past few mouth«. on bis knees and begun the well re existence Is lielleved to l>e ■ roughly coat I hadn't worn for several weeks I From coast to coast, men and women, young and old, Ignorant and wise, seem membered dialogue: 'Well, Sammy, fashioned sickle blade found by Bel told her there was a letter in It «be had the manllla hawser which was used to laugh. "Rut Jamey's fut ne'er’d squeeze to have been swept along on the great how do you feel?* he asks. With my zoni. In Karn«», near Thebes. It was given me to mall the last time I had It tow tbe drydock to Havana. It la twen into the lolkes o' them.” wave of desire to gain a fortune by the fingers,' squeaks Sammy, in falsetto. Imbedded in mortar under the base of on. And that was no lie, either,” he ty-three Inches Io circumference, but A scarlet wave swept Bernice's cheek rising or falling of stock and grain. Then Comical Corrigan whacked him tbe sphinx, and on that account Is It la by no means th» largest that ever added, with deep satisfaction. *' she dropped the little shoes and has Not alone Is the epidemic an affair of over the head and we all roared with known as "tbe sickle of the sphinx." i as tieen made, although It has the rep tily sought among the clothing for the Stock Exchange of New York. Not laughter. utation of breaking tbe record. The Fsmlty »I’ver. When Mr. Corrigan an It Is now In tbe British museum, ami Is ’’tnethlng more suitable for the sturdy a village exists along the great rail nounced that he would 'now recite a believed to be nearly 4.000 years old. There are at least two others of a "Fer the land's sake,” said the wom “Jamey.” Far back In the store, partly roads of the West which has not men an in the blue Mother Hubbard as she greater circumference, but both old *r. pathetic recitation by special request,' hidden by th“ crowd, a man stood, among Its residents who take I knew he would favor us with ‘Cur fastened the dotheallne to tbe division One of these had a circumference of Hl« Neat Meal. "atchlng Bernice's tab!e. It was a a “turn” at the market In the cities “That man says be never knows fence, "what do you think of them twenty-three lncbe», and was used fot few Shall Not R'ng Tonight' before he dark, handsome face, yet showing the near to them. In every hamlet, no opened hi» mouth, and when be asked where be's going to get bla next meal." Joneses telling around thnt the burglars the purpose of anchoring the ship North arks of dissipation. As he witnessed matter bow unpretentious as to popnla got In their bouse an' stole tbe family Carolina In the navy yard at Brooklyn, "Ia be so poor?” for a ring to grind to atonia and Are ’ ■■e little scene a sneer cnrled his lips. tlon. the market prices of corn and from a pistol In bls chaste seance of while the other was a twenty-four-ineb “No. but he's a collector and eats aiiver? Family silver! Hub!” Heartless and cold! Willing to sell grain are closely watched and over the prestidigitation or parlor magic, I wherever be happens to be." I’biiadel “It's so. though," said the woman In hawser, which was used as a sheet-an acr dead baby's .shoes," he muttered. wires comes ticking along the request the next lot. "They had a dollar an' a chor cable on the Tennessee, when she could hardly get mine off quick enough. plila Bulletin. Hastily pushing forward, the man ap to buy or sell, according to wbat Is quarter plied on tbe mantelpiece fer the was stationed In tbe Mediterranean in I was so anxious to see that dear old P^nai-hed the table. Ills up'urned coat the more fortunate side to considered Onlv a "Blair.” grocery bill, an' It waa all In silver.'*— tbe '»Mis. trick done again ' ”l‘*’ .nd the soft felt hat, pulled down Tbe Parson I hope you are not golDg Iiidlanapoll» Presa. tie on. Much an enormous rope was nat »rally “After It was all over I met Corrigan ?Ter his brows, nearly concealed his Never In the history of the land has fishing on Munday, my little inaa. found to lie unwieldy, a fact which was and found him a first rate fellow. He ’’*• yet as be brushed past the eyes of the speculative fever t»en so madly Tbe Kid O, no. air; I am merely car An I «rne«t Worshlpp-r. abundantly demonstrated when tbe told me be had been doing that sort of * two met. For a second the worn general. It seems to matter little to rylng this rod eo those wicked boys Dashawaj Ml»« Calloway took me vessel encountered a storm In tbe Bay thing ever since IN*»- drifted Into It by *" * ■“‘art semed to stand still within the men from one end of the country degrees, organizing bls circuit of towns, aero*» tbe street will not suspect that I as'de yesterday and wanted to know of Naples. When tbe Tennessee re r bosom, as she recognized the man * to the other whether they take a my honest opinion of you. turned to tier native borne in America making friends of the church and fra am on my way to Sunday school. a"e. then be passed by and was gone plunge In wheat or corn, stock or l«nd Cleverton 1 hope, old man, that you tbe baw«er na« «ent to the oakum mil.» temal order people. and gradually That night, as Bernice was being The more boles there are In a sponge --q rro wd to make a fortune In a short tni ! sMcrtATOB »K “ *rin I- A TVla r .A/lonibl I »nd made It Into oakum. gnve me a clever send off! building up a clientele that was now ss ■ tbe more water It will bold. they are are tn the madde.i 1.¡nation« !n with W - I 1'1* ... thousand« . 'eu to her own luxurious home, she so long as they and tens of “Certainly. I told her that you never regular and steady as a dork. He me. Here, as in the closer com space of time. Here, as In the |b#(f gaia perhaps made by »it*1 amidst the soft cushions All thing» are for the beat—aud »very Brevity la tbe soul of wit- but It made love to a girl In your Ufa that add a ilt'** «• b been ,hi, ,t »eculatiott that the sticks to »mall places, makes the * weary sigh. Not because of the thousands are endeavoring to add | mother s sou of us tbiuks be'» IL you didn't mean IL ” doesn't Always embody tbe trutk. rounds ones a season, and is welcomed hard labor. So general from o« an o . ■^suai exertions of the day was she government baa iound It ne estar/ «<» and weary, but the sight of that WHOLE COUNTRY SPECULATION MAD. MANIA EXTENDS FROM COAST TO COAST.
