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About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 29, 1900)
EUGEHE WEEKLY GUARD. tempting impossible tasks. Tbe lessor of it all is that athletics, like everything else worth trying, demands practice, self-denial and perseverance. I here 1» no royal rqad to excelled e uu tra< k I field or gridiron. The man who would achieve distinction must prepare him self. If be neglects tbe preparation at not only invites failure, but physical in Jury aud perhaps death. Tue deaib ot young Gillett, lu Chicago, Is regretta ble, but It proves nothing against foot ball. It does demonstrate that uutrain ed lads would better keep off tbe grid Iron. JOHN D. HART. D m th of tb« Famon« Vllibootor of tb« Cuban War. HOW HE GOT A START ' striking the grourxl. followed by tbeti sibilant slide along tbe polished floor» then the swift springs and sudden bounds, tbe whirling gyrations and diz zy evolutions, tbe graceful genuflec tions and quick embraces and all the other Intricate and maddening move ments to tbe accompaniment of one ot Glinka's or Tachaikowsky's master piece«, awaken and mobilize antique heroism and mediaeval chivalry. There 1» more genuine pleasure in be ing the spectator of a soul-thrilling dauce like that than in taking an active part In the lifeless make-believes per formed at society balls In many ot tbe more western countries of Europe or Ln America. OUR BUDGET OF FUN dlsiovers Kegin*ij from school by h mince pie. * ‘ Horrified Aunt Mary-w«, what would Dr. Brown see you no w ? ' « h« tou Reginald (comply n Pleased, Aunt Mary, » his paUenu well uourl.J^S HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO Capt John D. Hart, th« famou« fili AN ACCIDENT THAT PLACED A INGS HERE AND THERE. buster of th« Cuban war, friend of YOUNG MAN IN FUNDS. Cuba Libre and despair of the Spanish • ______ ___ __ ... OREGON. EUGENE .. marine patrol, died at Philadelphia re i w-u.----------------- Jokesand Jokeleta that Ara Happoaed cently ot apoplexy. He was one of tb« SUted as a paradox, soms women to Hava Been Recently Born-Hayings most Interesting characters in tbe Ust who do not fancy work do fancy work. and Doings that Are Old, Cnrioua aud rebellion of th« Cubans against th« rul« Laughabla- The Week’s Huiuur. of Spain, and did more to supply the In addition to the game law there (hanginiE His n struggllug patriots with arms and am First Turkey -Gobble???* should be a law protecting human be munition than any other man. Inciden "I have called, ” said tbe reporter, “ to "I owe my start In life to tbe fact ings against the hunter’s gun. tally he was a source of Incessant wor that an estimable old gentleman forgot see If you wish to add anything to our Ing in a scandalou» wly Second Turkey-Ye. si «. ry to the revenue officers In charge of account of your wife's reception this to put his eyeglasses in bls pocket one Here Is a unique definition of a philo evening. We have most of the details himself; he Is trying tu Another bank has been w recked by American ports, from which tbe two morning.” said a prosperous business sopher by a wise editor. A philosopher and a long Ust of uamt«, including sheep— Puck. an old and trusted employe. Tlie notorious little vessels, the Bermuda man from a sister city. “It’s rather a Is one who never argues with his wife. and the I.iurada. were wont to set sail those who will assist her in receiving.” amount stolen is >200,000, which is les Mr. N^vlywed^Why“" curious atory,” be went oh. "and 1'11 tell "No,” replied the business man; it as briefly as possible. A good many SPEND LITTLE ON LIVING. People are still trying to tlnd out bow by half a million tl.au the plundering» “there's only one account that I’m ex *>rry you married tne and i”* years ago. wheu I was a young fellow to prolong their days. Yet the oldest of Cashier Alvord, of New York. Un Thouicb Wealthy gome Men Contrive pected to take any Interest in, and the other baud, the sum taken by tbe of about 25 or thereabouts, 1 drifted man in the world Is In a New Jersey Mrs. Newlywed (sighingy.^ to Exist on a Pittance. tlM*re’li be no one to assist me with assistant cashier of the Newport, Ky.. into Louisville In search of a Job that poorhouse. easier said than done, d’«' bank is double the capital stock of ti. < Eight hundred miles east of the coast that.”—Philadelphia Press. didu't materialize, aud tbe upshot of It ______ | The attempt to popularize profession concern and about two-tifths of Its <1 • was that I found myself practically of Peru is a blazing desert, where rain The Lesser of Two Evils. Tired Out. al baseball In Cuba has not been en posits. He could not well have taken broke In a strange city. Up to that never falls. Its very dryness gives part Mr. Doolittle (nwvouslyy-i He—Sorry to bear your engagement tirely successful. The audience, It may more than he did. It was said by time I had always worked for small of this great plain immense value, for with young de Rocks Is off. can si*e your little broker Lt’* bankers at tue time of the discovery of be, have been anticipating that an um wages anil had never succeeded in ac the deposits of nitrate of soda have d She— Yes; be ran away and enlisted sofa. Miss Midwood! the Alvord defalcatiou that It is much pire would lie gored at every game. cumulating as much as $50, but I had never been water-washed and are of to tight in Cblua, the coward!—Chicago Mias Midwood (at 11 o'clock easier to embtzzle a large sum In a big hhge value. Twenty years ago an au abiding faith that If I could once get ing a yawn)-Well, if he ls 'H News. All thia money »pent on education, bank than a small sum lu a »mail bank. bold of a modest stake 1 could launch Englishman called Howard M ebster in sound asleep by thU time! and yet when It conies to doing the The Newport bank is a small one, but A Great Scheme. vested over $500,000 in a great tract »ut for myself aud make some money. proper thing at election time lots of Assistant (.'ashler Brown lias l>een able HowTomm»Knew Tom Your father lots been following "One morning, when I was wander of this rich mineral land. Then he set T<>mmy-pOp, S(Mla wa J ' citizens apparently don't know bow to to make away with >200,000 durlug the ing about with only two or three silver tled down near the little town of San us around all evening. Can we stop the Tommy's Pop-How do yw k^ properly make tlielr mark on the ballot. last ten years. Brown had been lu the dollars In my pocket, looking for a Mario, In the mountains, where he aud emba rrassment employ of the bank for eight years be louimy—I bad some to-day „4 Ida Yes; I will drop a quarter and chance to go to work at anything that bis family live on the fruit he grows The rumor that the lady who threw fore he began stealing. His houest ser might offer, I dropped Into a big down- on five acres of land. Ten dollars a paw will keep his foot on It until the charged to Jou-Pbiladelpbu^ the ax at the German Emperor was a vice during that time entitled him to •talrs room where some real estate was week cover their entire expenses. His company have all gone.—Chicago New VS. Whe’ri loo Busy, man In disguise probably arose from be consider«! a trustworthy employe, being sold at auction. A large crowd property on the coast would fetch now "I've got to stop dictating Plaiu Evidence. the fact that she hit the monarch’s bug but It did not free the bunk officers was present, and there was an Inde ten times what he gave for It. yet he a while now.” ”■» gy instead of a fence or a smokehouse from the duty of tludlng out at tbe end scribable feeling of tension In the air neither sells nor works It. It is whis “Why?" In some otter direction. of every twelve or six months period that warned me something unusual was pered that he Is waiting till he can dis "Our tyi>ewrlter jirl ha» b«™ whether he remained a trustworthy em about to happen. While I was stand pose of It for such a sum as will make crochet herself a pink fasclnanj™ J Tlie bicycle did much to bring about ploye, Trust is as necessary in a bank for Cuban shores laden with warlike ing there, only vaguely Interested, the each of bls three children a million cago Record. ' improved roads, and now the auto as In every other business. The em goods for the island patriots. auctioneer, who was quite an elderly aire. Tbe authorities were forced to inter mobile owners have taken up tlie de ployer who has eoutideuee in none of gentleman, put up a piece of Improved "Pa ” Eu " lly E, P | »in«L Knowing his son Mathias' gambling mand and will push It vigorously. The tils employes, and siieuds his time in fere with the captain's trattle, owing city property, and after a considerable day when Improved highways will be adopting precautions against their to a demand made upon the United pause received a bid of $200. I could propensities, the late Baron Von Sltlar. "Well?” who made >1,500.000 in beet sugar re seen everywhere Is coming. cheating him, leads an uncomfortable State« by Spain, which charged that see that the smallness of the amount “ What’s the difference bet»», fining. very wisely left all his money life, gets poor service, and Is sometimes Hart was violating tlie laws of neutral excited surprise and was also aware of wages and salary?" In the hands of trustees, who were to One New York woman understands cheated lu spite of ills precautions. The ity. He was arrested and sentenced in a commotion lu oue corner, where half “If a man la working for r , the gentle art of managing domestics. sensible banker or other employer re March. 1807, to two years’ imprison a dozen previous bidders were gath pay Matbias the Income half-yearly. running a machine ot some kind, To a dilatory girl she said, sweetly: poses trust in men who have been hon ment and what amounted to 15,000 In ered together In an excited group. They The first weeks of January and July Ing brick or doing something el« "Of course, Julia, it doesn't matter to est In the past, but he does not do so tines. The brave mariner did not go to seemed to be quarreling al>out some In each year Mathias spends In regal makes a white collar and cuffi splendor, generally at Moute Carlo. The me how long you take to do your work, Indefinitely. Every now and then lie Jail for a year, and was pardoned by thing. and meanwhile the auctioneer fortable he gets wages. Do yon but 1 should think as pretty a girl as makes a few Inquiries to ascertain President McKinley after having waa indignantly appealing for a re rest of the time he lives on borrowed stand what I mean?" money. But of late years his friends you are would hurry through with her whether It is safe to renew that trust served four months of his sentence. “Y'ea, sir.” ipectable offer. 'Make It twenty-five Tasks, so she could dretw up and go out for another term. In ahis adventurous business the fili hundred,' he shouted; 'does any geutle- have become tired of lending and pro “But If he siu at a desk and where she would be seen." The refor- buster and his companions were often nau bld twenry-flve hundred?” He look- fessional money lendlers, who know pen and gets $11 a week and hu»,« that he cannot touch bis capital, will mation was Instantaneous and com- chased by Spanish war boats, but he al directly at me. and I made a gesture They Huffler No Penalty. bunds, he receives a salary. have nothing more to do with him. At plete. "Alvord's tlieft of $7(lG.<kM> fluii was never caught nor were his fleet >f denial. 'Thank you." be exclaimed, you see the difference'f’-Qiw* present this heir to $200.000 a year is ships Injured. In this way be landed Times-Herald. Evidence multiplies that the whole Schreiber's of $1(81.000,” said an expert thousands of rifles and tons of powder {really to my surprise; ‘the gentleman living In a back street in Antwerp on Course of studies In the public schools accountant, "go to show that in all tn quiet spots on the Cuban shore, Cap- »ver there bids twenty-five hundred; leas than $3 a week. Hi® Failing. I.lzer, you been an got mar of tills country will have to be revised business it la Impossible to prevent dis tain Hart leaves a widow and two •nd, If I can help It, no combination of "Your husband tried to commit is ried, too? — Punch. nnd that a return to first principles Is honest men from stealing. No matter charming daughters, I-aura and Ada buyers Is going to be allowed to die- cide, did be?” asked the doctor wUiii Unconscious of Hanger. Gets Himselt Disliked. necessury. The fad propaganda has as- bow thorough the auditing may lie. no Hart, for whom the filibuster boat ate prices at this sale!’ With that he been hastily summoned. In tlie course of Ross Cox's expedl- iud«l«*nly knocked down the property matter how clowly th«* heads watch "Miss Biff, bns your employer any sumed tlie form of acute mania. The "Yes, sir," replied the weeping vos along the Columbia River some Euurnda luiil been named. tlon :o me. reaction Is going to bring us back to those under them, every ntau who han an. years ago, one member of the party had tyrannical habits?” "No sooner was this done," continued dies mom-y enn steal, with a reasonable “ Yes, indeed; lie buys candy and eats tlie proisiwltlon that reading, writing NOT PLEASED WITH ROME. "Made the attempt with xraior? a dangerous experience, of w hich for the story teller, "than a great uproar of and arithmetic are the studies essential chance of escaping detection. That "Yes.” tunately be was at the time uncon it before my eyes.”—Chicago Record. to a public school and that anything more such men don't steal speaks well Katutas Cityan Smu.he« the Idols In protests arose from the group In the scious. The men were preparing sup "Well, madam, be has failed. He wfj A Collision Avoided. for human nature, but I must ijuallfy the Eternal City. corner. They Insisted that they had jet»** is surplusnge. pull through all right.” Here's a Missouri idol smasher who been given no chance to bld, but tlie per on the bank of the river, and La “When I am very angry I always thia statement with the additional one Course, worn-out with the fatigue of count 100.” “Oh, I suppose he will," lobbed th has the courage of bls convictions in auctioneer st«x>d flrm, and, calling me Taking In view tlie Northern States. that many do ateHl and are eaught, hut the day, had stretched himself on the wife. "Poor Johu is so—so awkwini the matter of “speaking his mind." at to the platform, requested my name “Does that calm you down?” Including all from Ohio to tbe liakotas, their employers, while discharging ground nd fallen asleep. —Chicago Tribune. any rate. A Grundy County man who and address and a 20 per cent cash de "Well, it gives tne time to get away them, do uot make public their crimes. together with Missouri and Kansas, tbe A few minutes later I passed him, Strennom Activity. posit on the $2,500. By that time I from the other man."—Chicago Record. rate of Increase of population lias fallen It Isn't charity which I iii | h I s the em is making a tour of Europe "did Rome” says Mr. Cox. and was horrified at see “The room was torn up as If ta ployers to do thia, though; It Is a fear realized, of course, that some extraor one afternoon a few weeks ago with from 2H per eelit In tbe decade 1.HNO- ing a large rattlesnake moving over Too Much, terrible struggle Lad taken )u tbe following disastrous result, as de dinary chance had thrown a fine piece his body toward his left breast 1H1M) to 18 per cent In tbe last decade. of hurting the credit of the firm. Gusher—My wife has promised to there.” "You can safely say that DO per cent #f property into my hands at a fraction scribed in bls latest letter home; Tiie rate nt present is accordingly l>e- My first Impulse was to alarm Im wait for me at the gate of heaven, if "Well, that doesn't necessarilj-x?« "St. Peter's disappointed me. It Is of Its real value, and I did some quick Course, but an old Canadian whom 1 she is tbe first to go. low tlie average rate of Increase for the of tbe thieving employes of Philadel deadly combat; maybe some nunni phia are uot brought to Justice. Usually thinking. 'I've sent a messenger for large enough, but too light and bore. entire Union Instead of atwive It as for had beckoned to the spot said we must Flasher—Tut, tut. You shouldn’t be merely trying to get Into hi» lastrari merly. The agricultural prizes of the they arrange to pay back their defalca The Inside is of gray marble, and there the money,' I said, aa coolly as I could, make no noise, and the snake would so revengeful as to make her wait flannel underwear.”—Chicago Becori tlona on the lnstallm«*nt plan. I know ‘ and I'll have it here In fifteen minutes. ’ is no stained glass. So It looks like an West have been won and population no cross the man's body and go away. In through eternity simply because she The famous Tbe auctioneer looked at the clock. ‘All this he was mistaken, for on reaching made you wait while she fixed up some Still Free. longer flows to virgin lauds to any large n bachelor of 48 who In his youth rob unfitted art gallery. After two solid hours of moonlight extent, whereas the manufacturing lied the bank that employed him of 1 bronze statue of St. Peter, slttiug In right,’ he replied, 'I'll give you that tlie chest the serpent colled Itself quiet times. Life. aud uniuterruption she thought she had cities of the East still attract popula $4,Htai. with which he speculated, hop a chair, from which the toe has been limit.’ ly as if meditating a stay. If La Lotina Hl ep to Some Purpose. "Then I took a desperate chan«*e. I him. “I admit that you are the swet- tion. The central West yields tbe pacs ing to make enough to marry. He lost kissed, would not catch your ey« if it Course moved or woke, we shuddered "Billy, bow’s your Insomnia?” all, was dlacovered, and Is still (laying were not for the guide book. The great pushed through the crowd, which was est----- ” to tlie older sections of tbe East. to think what would happen. "Insomnia?” Oh, I’ve not got ln- off, out of n paltry salary, that debt of Vatican palace Is about as pretty as already Interested in the next sale, and "Yes,* go on," she whispered. Others quietly Joined us, and it was shame. I know the histories of scores the 'brick row.' It Is very old, very l>eckoued to a little fat man who had •omnia any more; I’ve got politics.”— “But the doctor lias forbidden m One of the t>ook reviewers criticises determined that two men should ad of «lefaulters, ami In every case tlie Irregular, and the pictures by Raphael ls*en one of the loud«*st kickers a few Indianapolis Journal. sweets," he added. vance in front, to divert the attention ex Secretary Foster for using verbs lu thefts were, In a way. Innocently be And the sensiitve moon retired be and Michael Angelo were an utter dis moments before. 'Look here,’ I said, of the snake, while one should approach the singular with the noun "United Logic. gun. Th«* mo^ey was taken with i lx appointment to all of us. The Sistine lrawlng him aside, 'do you want to be with a long stick from the rear and States," In Ills recently published work Bystander Poor‘fellow! One of his bind a cloud.—Philadelphia Record. determination that it would la* re chapel, lu which M. Angelo's greatest my silent partner for an hour or so?' dislodge tbe creature. on American diplomacy, This review- wounds is fatal. 1 believe. T ni poduible. placed.”—Philadelphia Record. paintings cover the walls and ceilings. 'What d'you mean?’ said he. I gave On seeing the men in front, th«* rat Policeman- So it is; but the other er snys that to make "United States" "Y'ou have been accustomed to lu him the truth lu a dozen words. 'Now tler raised Its head, played its evil-look wan ain't, so he lias au even chance.— uries, my dear, but you must ruDfmta a singular noun would require au Gun t4> Fire 1)0,000 Bullets a Minute. Is a large, plain room. The pictures let me baie that >500 deposit money,’ I It are all In a dark, purplish gray color, ing tongue and shook its rattles. Indi Philadelphia Press. amendment to the Constitution. that it is hard for me to begin wb«t It Is reported that James Judge added, 'and we'll share the profits, cations of anger. Is true that wherever In that lustru- hard to make out and absurd wheu you your father left off." managing partner of the Walker Eu whatever they are.’ The little man The Temptation of Saint Raatum. incut this noun la followed by a verb Every one was in a state of feverish "Oh, but papa says he would proba glneerlng and Galvanizing Company, do make them out. They remind me of looked at me shrewdly. 'This is a big tin* plural form Is used. Rut the ques anxiety as to the fate of poor La Course, bly find it impossible to leave oS afw has patented a gun which he believes rather plain and faded circus bills with Joke on all of us,’ he said, grinning, tion wheth«»r to say "th«* United States who still lay asleep. The man behind you had begun.”—Life. when perfected, will discharge the the actors performing on the tia;>eze. 'and I gti«*ss I'll risk tlie deal.’ At the Is” or “the United States are” Involves now came up with a stick seven feet enormous number of 30,000 bullets per Raphael's greatest pictures are rich In same time he counted out $500 and put Reason Enough, some things lieslih-s thia authoritative long, quickly placed one end under the minute. The gun discharges Its mis colors, but are not more Interesting It In my hands. I raced back to the “I believe,” said the new clerk, “tl.at usage. When the Constitution was reptile, anil succeeded in pitching it He and Angelo never saw a naked slles by “centrifugal force,” being, lu desk with the cash, clinched the sale, our claim is that only the select few framed Its authors said; 'The House of fact, a wonderful development of the woman or child, I guess, nor were ever and before noon had tlie deed In my ten feet from the man's body. buy our goods.1 Representatives shall choose tlielr A shout of Joy was the first intima even at Atlantic City. They give chll- ancient sllug. It has a disc working possession. Then, to make a long story "That's right.” said the fashionabb speaker ami other officers,” although within a case at 13,000 revolutions pei ilr«*n th«* muscles of a Romau gladiator short, my »llent partner offered me $L- tion La Course had of his wonderful hatierdasber. “Because our prices ia to day we say, "the House of Repre escape. The snake was pursued and or a Barnum strong man. The ruins minute, a a(«e«*d which has already 1)00 cash for my Interest, and xs >1,000 so high." sentatives Is.” Also they used the word been obtained lu practice. From the of ancient Rome are also a great dls- l«M>ke«l about as big as a mountain at killed. "But why are our prices so high?” “the" before "Congress," saying, "but circumference of the disc project two appolntment, as a rule. With tbe excep "Because only tbe select few i>«J A Cool One. the Congress may at nnytlme," where hands. The bullets are poured Into the tion of the wonderful Coliseum and a that stage of the game, I promptly ac here.”—Philadelphia Piess. If politeness can ever be considered we should omit the article. Besides case from a hopper, nnd a* they full ar« tew more thlugs all the rest are nothing cepted. That $1,000, fortunately placed, gave me the start that has kept me go a fault it would be in such a ease as these «arlatlotts'lu custom, events have caught by the hands, which In coming but stoue piles, so far ns they appear Working Both End». ing ever since. the following, which is report«! by a doubtless hint some support to lit« "Is" rain them out In a continuous stream to the common spectator.”- Kansas “Dr. Ihisem and bis wife seem "Gwau, chicken! Use got religion!" "But what about the eyeglasses, did fireman and printed in Collier’s «Id«* of the controversy. In league together, don't they?’ through an orifice. They are guided City Journal. you say? Why, tbe auctioneer, as I af Weekly: A liefest. Into a sleeve which may be elevated "How so?” terward learned, was very near-slght- "The coolest man I ever saw," said a Tea Culture in India. "When my daughter got married we A tiMMt 1« a rued aud upright Judge lias or depressed nnd slglitisl like tlie muz “Why, he Is trying to boom Mi i*d. and on tlie morning to which I refer New York fireman, “ i 'I met at a fire in Tlie east lias always been considered thought we would board with her aud dyspepsia cure, while she is runa.M ruled that a married woman, either ■le of a rifle. The disc of the gun Is lie had forgotten his glasses. That was a dwelling-house on Fifth avenue, We her busband.” living with or apart from her husband, alxiut 3 feel lu diameter, and as It tlie homo of tlie tea plant, China hav a cooking school."—Philadelphia Eres "Well?” may !«■ considered tlie head of the travels nt the rate of 15.000 revolutions ing grown it for centuriea, although th« why be mistook my gesture of disavow found tim in au up stairs front room, ing Bulletin. bouse. This 1« tbe de jure phas« of the l>er minute the circumferential rate Is original country of tea Is not known. al for a sign of assent and force«! me. In dressing to go out. The fire by this time "We got a late start, somehow, and What He Loved. of myself. Into a good thing. I never was surging up through the bouse at a they are txiardlug with ua.’’—Chicago proposition; every lutelllgeut jierson 45.000 feet. This would Impel bullets It lias been found in a truly wild stat« Cynicus—I love----- has known that tbe married woiuau has with tremendous muxale velocity, and in Assam. It tuay be cultivated in understood the exact true Inwardness great rate. Record. Miss Anteek—Ah! I’ve suspected It» “ ‘Hallo, there!' we hollered at him, frequently been tbe head of the house at close range would. Mr. Judge the east through a wide range from of the deal, but the facta In the rough The Seqne’, along —you naughty man! were that a clique of speculators had when we looked in at tlie door. Tbe de facto. Chronic old wotuau haters, declares, menu absolute anuihllatlou to India to Japan. The Industry, how Cynicus—I love tbe deliciou» fre««!*1® Mr Remotely (of Lonelyvllle, N. J.)_ like St Paul for example, have foolish nu enemy. ever, is not indigenous to India, but formed a combine to keep down pries, house Is »fire!’ " ’Would it disturb you If I should re Are you through making the monthly of bachelorhood. ly Insisted tliat the man is the head of rather a child by adoption. It Is but but. owing to some misunderstanding, Miss Anteek — Brute!-Obto 9U» failed to bld promptly on the property main while you are putting It out?' he payments on your cottage, so you own the Woman aud consequently of the Felicity. little more than a century ago that an it entirely Journal. which I secured. Tbe auctioneer wan said, llftlag tbe comb from his hair aud bouse, but you do not find that narrow Mrs. Crimson lies k I rem! lu the pa attempt was made to cultivate tbe tea Mr. Isolate (of ditto, lugubriously)— and absurd view Indorsed In these pip tier the other day that «luring tlie first plant in India and It was not until as onto the game and anxious to break It looking round at us. He had on a white Cold Weather Diet. Miss Pester— Itor. what ing days of feminine ematiclpatIon and day of her married life a Corea n bride late as IMl that the first public sale up, hence his precipitancy In knocking evening waistcoat, and his dress coat Yes; I am commencing to pay the monthly repair bills now.—Brooklyn ommend for a cold-weather diet? advancement. Of course a pronounce must uot speak, not even to Iter hus of tea occurred ut Calcutta, which city down the lot to yours truly. I heard lay acroos a chair. Eagle. Dr. Bergamot—Flannel cake».-?1“ ment from tbe bench Is gratifying to band. It Is considered a very repre seems to have ever since controlled tbt later on that my portly silent partner "S«*elngus staring at him. he dropped made $*.<*<' out of »be transaction, his comb Into bia hair again and went feminine pride as an ludorsetneuL how State Journal. hensible breach of etiquette. Hard« market of the Indian tea trade. but I don't begrudge him the money, on combing. But as a matter of fact he ever reluctant, yet we dare say that it Mr. Criinnonlwak Now. that*« some Tnrn About 1» Fair Play. "Say.” remnrkeil the first boy on tbe The $500 he gave me on faith that was about ready. He put down the Cobweb« Stop Telegraphing. will not surprise anybody and will not | thing llk<> a honeytuoou Yonkers Tramp (to chappie, who has P' way to school. "I Just beard the minis morning was worth fully A peculiar but very serious difficulty 10 per cent comb, put on his coat and hat and ter tell another man 'at my pa was a him a shiltlngi-l 'ope as ow som« «■ lead to any sudden upheavals, The Statesman. beaeta tlie o{>eratlou of telegraph lines a minute."-New Orletuis Times-1 lem- picked up his overcoat bench has merely fallen In with the •horrible example.' Wonder what 'at sir, you may want a shillin. *n ’ Illg I * h ‘««motives. In the Argeutiue Republic. The small ocrat natural trend; woman has made the " 'Now I’m repdy. gentlemen,' be said. is." I'U be able to give It to yerl-P»«*- Pittsburg locomotive works have spider of the variety that spins a long law and the Judges hare graciously con "We started, but the stairway bad "1 guess." replied the other, "1 he must DANCE WITH A KEEN ZEST. curred. Personally we know nothing completed two engine« which ar« cobweb and floats It In the air, la so now l«oen closed up by fire. We turned have a lot o' fractions in him." Phlla- Ac< v*«e«l by « I’lgeon. of the Judge, but we suspect that lie Is claimed to t«e the moat powerful and plentiful there that the floating webs The homing pigeon Las prove«! Has.Ian Raila Ar« Eaaaatially Dtf- to the window». The boys had got a delphia Press. heaviest yet const Tinted Each weigh.« a married man. «iwiiklng front experi settle on the wires tn enormous quanti locality is a faculty fully deielopo1 ladder up ts tbe front of the bouse. tarant 1 rooi Thnae la Amer.co. Not Left in the Dark. ence and with deep feeling. And while 111% tons, the tenders having ,i water ties. As soon as dew falls or a shower the bird's little brain, but a »rlIer “ ‘Now. tken.’ we said to him, when Th« modern society ball In America •’Did that horse dealer do the fair the Boston Herald give» an ln»t»®(* he may not get a statue at the hands capacity of 7.500 gallons and a coui ca of rain comes up every microscopic we came to the window. la little mor« than a dress promenade, tiling by you?” of grateful womanhood we fancy that l«aelty of fourtes u ton*. thread l»econies wet and establishes a " After you, gentlemen/ he said, memory that was most tou< hin$- but In a Russian ballroom the guests "Well, he told me all the horse'» mean he would have speedily become a statue minute leak. The effect of millions of A Indy living in the top dory « standing back. Ami I ’m blessed if we tricks actually dance; they do not merely His R«*<-or«l. after he had s«ikl the beast to had he decided the case In any other skyscraper, such leaks is practically to stop the op. didn't have to go down the ladder Boston skyscraper, had I*»* ,B** shamble to and fro in a crowd, crump Myer Who Is the man across the orations of the lines, and the govern uie."— Chicago Record. way. first!" f habit ol feeding the pigeou» snd ’l way with the gold uie.lal <>n bls «-.«at? ment telegraph department, especially ling their clothes and ruflllug their tem rows who flew r to the little l«ln’O.» 1 Football Is a game which calls for Gyre Oh. that's How niug lie holds In Bueno« Ayres, has bees put to vast per« »ml call It a set of quadrille«, A Soft Answer, Her Own Depot. ■ceedw * The very superior saleslady had stu- fore her window, and bad •■«* « * They thorough preparation. It is what Mr. the automobile reconl. The fait Is not generally known that Inconvenience by the cobwebs. A num says a foreign correepomtem. taming some of her pensioners, diously ignored tbe efforts of tbe shop- Myer Automobile record? Roosevelt would term a strenuous out of * ber of expedients have l>een tried, but have ample space for tbe swreplng the (JiMvn has a private railway sta »port. It la not a recreation for weak tlyer V««. ran over thlrt«*vn pevpl« to no avail. movements and complicated figures of tl«»n. This Is at Gosport and Is used p ng person to attract her attention. two pigeons even eating lings. It Is not even safe for strong in one afternoon Boston Journal. ■II the orthodox ball dances, and are by her Majesty when emloirkitig for Finally, however, she condescended to ban«!. id One «lay. while passing along * men who have not l«een especially train Russian Orthtuioi Chnrvh. generally gifted with »urtlcl«nt plastic Oaborne. Tlie station consists of a ask: w ** The l>«-<-|w«t l.akc. Street, tills lady was surp •d for It. But for the «easonefi athlete The pr«*s«-nt orthodox church of Rtts- grace to carry them out Ln style. They long, senil cln ular platform, the end of "Is any one waiting on you?" The dre|H*st lake In the world I» Lak, aia Is divide«! Into sixty-aeven cy»ar- It has few perils. The fatalities among “I'm afraid th it.” replied the shop- a pigeon flutter away fn>n «-arefully cultivât« dance« calling for • which Is connected with a pontoon fr. '.»lUra ,f I* U. MV the coUegi- elevens are few and far be Baikal, tn Siberia. In some ;>arts It 1«. chles, Including one In Alaska, ami kind of grace which la almost beyond against which the royal yacht la WUal- ping person, sweetly; "my husband was paiilons strutting In the the SR11 slit 5.2H1 fret drep; It« length I» M»7 ml I«-« tween he. a use every man Is tralne«! to forty-three vicarial neat« of blabo|ia. the reach of art. ly moored It Is a strange fact that no — I left hitn ontslde- -but I'm afrai«l road. i«‘I come upon • op a :» tbe hour TI m * «am«» thing la true lu a with au ares of 15,t»st *«;uare mi!es It Russia ha« now 117 archlbshopo. In- The mazurka Is one of tbe finest of other member of the royal family ever be's ■me disgusted and gone home ” where It almost tripped la the largwt lake In Asia, and the sixth effort» to attra«-t her •« tioa —I’ll me«"nre of all athleti«* sports. Trained rlmllng three uu tropolitana, sixty rev- there, and It la quit« • favorite at ball* I h-lphla Pre«*. this wtatloa. . ev largest In the worm, It fluttered around h> pugilists will hammer each other for Russia has now 117 archbishops, la- ou the banks of tbe Nev«. It gn-ds a every sign of pleasure an«l Ht ise Na-ne Xesdy ’'a te. hours and be none the worse for It next We have noticed that les« 1« said <<«od deal v( rooai. one or mure spurred New rule of the iHin't Worry Club tbirty-a.uc bishop«. DA Tess-So your friend. May Glddie. Is «lay. Trained bicyclists will rlile for and when she c alleil It when a woman is <! ’ spp«ilnted oAcers and grace. Listen to the de If you are hungry, don't try not to In a going np«>n the stage. flew at her I’ointtng the W«V tht«. I siippum* she days without n*«t or sleep an«! turn up little creature fairly husband than when sb ’.à«1» e is disappointed worry ai«uut It. but try to get some- "What do yon think Mbs Popkina did scriptions "The dash with which th« In a cow. Now. in the midst of sl‘ ■ exp i ts to make a name for herself. perfectly fresh after twenty four tauirs' partners rush forward, the clinking and h Def***' thing to «*et slutt I stayed late last night? ” Jess She di«! think sbe'd have to. throng the pigeon knew It» re«t Untrslneil men are frequently clattering of spurs ss heel clash«« with ■s. •*?• '? "Wbatr Ion are having goxl luck enough if but she found a lovely one in an hllle<l In friendly boxing eontasts I t> Put your ruon< y In a tmller factory if ol.l who. with tears in her eye joy * heel In midair, punctuating thiSita cato gO,,-. --------- • .. .. . your friend« n* ve r bear tbe mean "Sh« got up aud bung an Exit' plac recognition gave her mere , « ’ y novel that's Just too sw«j;t for tra ued cj< lists kill themselves by at ).u ar* losing for a «ouud lux-stm. at of tbe music; tbe loud thud ot breu things you «ay at-ont them. ard ua th« parlor door.”- lhack. 11 thin«» - 1'1,11 * - 1 . 1 ..-«a. th« queen had saluted **• i 0
