EUGEHE WEEKLY GUARD.
tempting impossible tasks. Tbe lessor
of it all is that athletics, like everything
else worth trying, demands practice,
self-denial and perseverance. I here 1»
no royal rqad to excelled e uu tra< k
I field or gridiron. The man who would
achieve distinction must prepare him
self. If be neglects tbe preparation at
not only invites failure, but physical in
Jury aud perhaps death. Tue deaib ot
young Gillett, lu Chicago, Is regretta
ble, but It proves nothing against foot
ball. It does demonstrate that uutrain
ed lads would better keep off tbe grid
Iron.
JOHN D. HART.
D m th
of tb« Famon« Vllibootor of tb«
Cuban War.
HOW HE GOT A START
' striking the grourxl. followed by tbeti
sibilant slide along tbe polished floor»
then the swift springs and sudden
bounds, tbe whirling gyrations and diz
zy evolutions, tbe graceful genuflec
tions and quick embraces and all the
other Intricate and maddening move
ments to tbe accompaniment of one ot
Glinka's or Tachaikowsky's master
piece«, awaken and mobilize antique
heroism and mediaeval chivalry.
There 1» more genuine pleasure in be
ing the spectator of a soul-thrilling
dauce like that than in taking an active
part In the lifeless make-believes per
formed at society balls In many ot tbe
more western countries of Europe or
Ln America.
OUR BUDGET OF FUN
dlsiovers Kegin*ij
from school by
h
mince pie.
* ‘
Horrified Aunt Mary-w«,
what would Dr. Brown
see you no w ?
' « h« tou
Reginald (comply
n
Pleased, Aunt Mary,
»
his paUenu well uourl.J^S
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
Capt John D. Hart, th« famou« fili
AN ACCIDENT THAT PLACED A
INGS HERE AND THERE.
buster of th« Cuban war, friend of
YOUNG MAN IN FUNDS.
Cuba Libre and despair of the Spanish
•
______ ___ __
... OREGON.
EUGENE ..
marine patrol, died at Philadelphia re
i
w-u.-----------------
Jokesand Jokeleta that Ara Happoaed
cently ot apoplexy. He was one of tb«
SUted as a paradox, soms women
to Hava Been Recently Born-Hayings
most Interesting characters in tbe Ust
who do not fancy work do fancy work.
and Doings that Are Old, Cnrioua aud
rebellion of th« Cubans against th« rul«
Laughabla- The Week’s Huiuur.
of Spain, and did more to supply the
In addition to the game law there
(hanginiE His n
struggllug patriots with arms and am
First Turkey -Gobble???*
should be a law protecting human be
munition than any other man. Inciden
"I
have
called,
”
said
tbe
reporter,
“
to
"I owe my start In life to tbe fact
ings against the hunter’s gun.
tally he was a source of Incessant wor that an estimable old gentleman forgot
see If you wish to add anything to our Ing in a scandalou» wly
Second Turkey-Ye. si «.
ry to the revenue officers In charge of
account of your wife's reception this
to put his eyeglasses in bls pocket one
Here Is a unique definition of a philo
evening. We have most of the details himself; he Is trying tu
Another bank has been w recked by American ports, from which tbe two morning.” said a prosperous business
sopher by a wise editor. A philosopher
and a long Ust of uamt«, including sheep— Puck.
an old and trusted employe. Tlie notorious little vessels, the Bermuda man from a sister city. “It’s rather a
Is one who never argues with his wife.
and
the
I.iurada.
were
wont
to
set
sail
those who will assist her in receiving.”
amount stolen is >200,000, which is les
Mr. N^vlywed^Why“"
curious atory,” be went oh. "and 1'11 tell
"No,” replied the business man;
it as briefly as possible. A good many
SPEND LITTLE ON LIVING.
People are still trying to tlnd out bow by half a million tl.au the plundering»
“there's only one account that I’m ex *>rry you married tne and i”*
years ago. wheu I was a young fellow
to prolong their days. Yet the oldest of Cashier Alvord, of New York. Un
Thouicb Wealthy gome Men Contrive pected to take any Interest in, and
the
other
baud,
the
sum
taken
by
tbe
of
about
25
or
thereabouts,
1
drifted
man in the world Is In a New Jersey
Mrs. Newlywed (sighingy.^
to Exist on a Pittance.
tlM*re’li be no one to assist me with
assistant cashier of the Newport, Ky..
into Louisville In search of a Job that
poorhouse.
easier said than done, d’«'
bank is double the capital stock of ti. <
Eight hundred miles east of the coast that.”—Philadelphia Press.
didu't materialize, aud tbe upshot of It
______ |
The attempt to popularize profession concern and about two-tifths of Its <1 •
was that I found myself practically of Peru is a blazing desert, where rain
The Lesser of Two Evils.
Tired Out.
al baseball In Cuba has not been en posits. He could not well have taken
broke In a strange city. Up to that never falls. Its very dryness gives part
Mr. Doolittle (nwvouslyy-i
He—Sorry to bear your engagement
tirely successful. The audience, It may more than he did. It was said by
time I had always worked for small of this great plain immense value, for with young de Rocks Is off.
can si*e your little broker Lt’*
bankers
at
tue
time
of
the
discovery
of
be, have been anticipating that an um
wages anil had never succeeded in ac the deposits of nitrate of soda have
d
She— Yes; be ran away and enlisted sofa. Miss Midwood!
the Alvord defalcatiou that It is much
pire would lie gored at every game.
cumulating as much as $50, but I had never been water-washed and are of to tight in Cblua, the coward!—Chicago
Mias Midwood (at 11 o'clock
easier to embtzzle a large sum In a big
hhge
value.
Twenty
years
ago
an
au abiding faith that If I could once get
ing a yawn)-Well, if he ls
'H
News.
All thia money »pent on education, bank than a small sum lu a »mail bank.
bold of a modest stake 1 could launch Englishman called Howard M ebster in
sound asleep by thU time!
and yet when It conies to doing the The Newport bank is a small one, but
A Great Scheme.
vested over $500,000 in a great tract
»ut for myself aud make some money.
proper thing at election time lots of Assistant (.'ashler Brown lias l>een able
HowTomm»Knew
Tom Your father lots been following
"One morning, when I was wander of this rich mineral land. Then he set
T<>mmy-pOp, S(Mla wa J '
citizens apparently don't know bow to to make away with >200,000 durlug the
ing about with only two or three silver tled down near the little town of San us around all evening. Can we stop the
Tommy's Pop-How do yw k^
properly make tlielr mark on the ballot. last ten years. Brown had been lu the
dollars In my pocket, looking for a Mario, In the mountains, where he aud emba rrassment
employ of the bank for eight years be
louimy—I bad some to-day „4
Ida Yes; I will drop a quarter and
chance to go to work at anything that bis family live on the fruit he grows
The rumor that the lady who threw fore he began stealing. His houest ser
might offer, I dropped Into a big down- on five acres of land. Ten dollars a paw will keep his foot on It until the charged to Jou-Pbiladelpbu^
the ax at the German Emperor was a vice during that time entitled him to
•talrs room where some real estate was week cover their entire expenses. His company have all gone.—Chicago New VS.
Whe’ri loo Busy,
man In disguise probably arose from be consider«! a trustworthy employe,
being sold at auction. A large crowd property on the coast would fetch now
"I've got to stop dictating
Plaiu Evidence.
the fact that she hit the monarch’s bug but It did not free the bunk officers
was present, and there was an Inde ten times what he gave for It. yet he
a while now.”
”■»
gy instead of a fence or a smokehouse from the duty of tludlng out at tbe end
scribable feeling of tension In the air neither sells nor works It. It is whis
“Why?"
In some otter direction.
of every twelve or six months period
that warned me something unusual was pered that he Is waiting till he can dis
"Our tyi>ewrlter jirl ha» b«™
whether he remained a trustworthy em
about to happen. While I was stand pose of It for such a sum as will make
crochet herself a pink fasclnanj™ J
Tlie bicycle did much to bring about ploye, Trust is as necessary in a bank for Cuban shores laden with warlike ing there, only vaguely Interested, the
each of bls three children a million
cago Record.
'
improved roads, and now the auto as In every other business. The em goods for the island patriots.
auctioneer, who was quite an elderly aire.
Tbe
authorities
were
forced
to
inter
mobile owners have taken up tlie de ployer who has eoutideuee in none of
gentleman, put up a piece of Improved
"Pa
”
Eu
"
lly
E,
P
|
»in«L
Knowing his son Mathias' gambling
mand and will push It vigorously. The tils employes, and siieuds his time in fere with the captain's trattle, owing city property, and after a considerable
day when Improved highways will be adopting precautions against their to a demand made upon the United pause received a bid of $200. I could propensities, the late Baron Von Sltlar.
"Well?”
who made >1,500.000 in beet sugar re
seen everywhere Is coming.
cheating him, leads an uncomfortable State« by Spain, which charged that see that the smallness of the amount
“
What’s the difference bet»»,
fining. very wisely left all his money
life, gets poor service, and Is sometimes Hart was violating tlie laws of neutral excited surprise and was also aware of
wages and salary?"
In
the
hands
of
trustees,
who
were
to
One New York woman understands cheated lu spite of ills precautions. The ity. He was arrested and sentenced in a commotion lu oue corner, where half
“If a man la working for r ,
the gentle art of managing domestics. sensible banker or other employer re March. 1807, to two years’ imprison a dozen previous bidders were gath pay Matbias the Income half-yearly.
running a machine ot some kind,
To a dilatory girl she said, sweetly: poses trust in men who have been hon ment and what amounted to 15,000 In ered together In an excited group. They The first weeks of January and July
Ing brick or doing something el«
"Of course, Julia, it doesn't matter to est In the past, but he does not do so tines. The brave mariner did not go to seemed to be quarreling al>out some In each year Mathias spends In regal
makes a white collar and cuffi
splendor,
generally
at
Moute
Carlo.
The
me how long you take to do your work, Indefinitely. Every now and then lie Jail for a year, and was pardoned by thing. and meanwhile the auctioneer
fortable he gets wages. Do yon
but 1 should think as pretty a girl as makes a few Inquiries to ascertain President McKinley after having waa indignantly appealing for a re rest of the time he lives on borrowed
stand what I mean?"
money.
But
of
late
years
his
friends
you are would hurry through with her whether It is safe to renew that trust served four months of his sentence.
“Y'ea, sir.”
ipectable offer. 'Make It twenty-five
Tasks, so she could dretw up and go out for another term.
In ahis adventurous business the fili hundred,' he shouted; 'does any geutle- have become tired of lending and pro
“But If he siu at a desk and
where she would be seen." The refor-
buster and his companions were often nau bld twenry-flve hundred?” He look- fessional money lendlers, who know
pen and gets $11 a week and hu»,«
that he cannot touch bis capital, will
mation was Instantaneous and com-
chased
by
Spanish
war
boats,
but
he
al directly at me. and I made a gesture
They Huffler No Penalty.
bunds, he receives a salary.
have nothing more to do with him. At
plete.
"Alvord's tlieft of $7(lG.<kM> fluii was never caught nor were his fleet >f denial. 'Thank you." be exclaimed,
you
see the difference'f’-Qiw*
present this heir to $200.000 a year is
ships Injured. In this way be landed
Times-Herald.
Evidence multiplies that the whole Schreiber's of $1(81.000,” said an expert thousands of rifles and tons of powder {really to my surprise; ‘the gentleman living In a back street in Antwerp on
Course of studies In the public schools accountant, "go to show that in all tn quiet spots on the Cuban shore, Cap- »ver there bids twenty-five hundred; leas than $3 a week.
Hi® Failing.
I.lzer, you been an got mar
of tills country will have to be revised business it la Impossible to prevent dis tain Hart leaves a widow and two •nd, If I can help It, no combination of
"Your husband tried to commit is
ried,
too?
—
Punch.
nnd that a return to first principles Is honest men from stealing. No matter charming daughters, I-aura and Ada buyers Is going to be allowed to die-
cide, did be?” asked the doctor wUiii
Unconscious of Hanger.
Gets Himselt Disliked.
necessury. The fad propaganda has as- bow thorough the auditing may lie. no Hart, for whom the filibuster boat ate prices at this sale!’ With that he
been hastily summoned.
In tlie course of Ross Cox's expedl-
iud«l«*nly
knocked
down
the
property
matter
how
clowly
th«*
heads
watch
"Miss Biff, bns your employer any
sumed tlie form of acute mania. The
"Yes, sir," replied the weeping vos
along
the
Columbia
River
some
Euurnda
luiil
been
named.
tlon
:o me.
reaction Is going to bring us back to those under them, every ntau who han
an.
years ago, one member of the party had tyrannical habits?”
"No
sooner
was
this
done,"
continued
dies
mom-y
enn
steal,
with
a
reasonable
“
Yes,
indeed;
lie
buys
candy
and
eats
tlie proisiwltlon that reading, writing
NOT PLEASED WITH ROME.
"Made the attempt with xraior?
a dangerous experience, of w hich for
the story teller, "than a great uproar of
and arithmetic are the studies essential chance of escaping detection. That
"Yes.”
tunately be was at the time uncon it before my eyes.”—Chicago Record.
to a public school and that anything more such men don't steal speaks well Katutas Cityan Smu.he« the Idols In protests arose from the group In the scious. The men were preparing sup
"Well, madam, be has failed. He wfj
A Collision Avoided.
for human nature, but I must ijuallfy
the Eternal City.
corner. They Insisted that they had
jet»** is surplusnge.
pull through all right.”
Here's a Missouri idol smasher who been given no chance to bld, but tlie per on the bank of the river, and La
“When I am very angry I always
thia statement with the additional one
Course, worn-out with the fatigue of count 100.”
“Oh, I suppose he will," lobbed th
has the courage of bls convictions in auctioneer st«x>d flrm, and, calling me
Taking In view tlie Northern States. that many do ateHl and are eaught, hut
the day, had stretched himself on the
wife.
"Poor Johu is so—so awkwini
the matter of “speaking his mind." at to the platform, requested my name
“Does that calm you down?”
Including all from Ohio to tbe liakotas, their employers, while discharging
ground nd fallen asleep.
—Chicago Tribune.
any rate. A Grundy County man who and address and a 20 per cent cash de
"Well, it gives tne time to get away
them,
do
uot
make
public
their
crimes.
together with Missouri and Kansas, tbe
A few minutes later I passed him,
Strennom Activity.
posit on the $2,500. By that time I
from the other man."—Chicago Record.
rate of Increase of population lias fallen It Isn't charity which I iii | h I s the em is making a tour of Europe "did Rome”
says Mr. Cox. and was horrified at see
“The room was torn up as If ta
ployers
to
do
thia,
though;
It
Is
a
fear
realized,
of
course,
that
some
extraor
one
afternoon
a
few
weeks
ago
with
from 2H per eelit In tbe decade 1.HNO-
ing a large rattlesnake moving over
Too Much,
terrible struggle Lad taken )u
tbe following disastrous result, as de dinary chance had thrown a fine piece his body toward his left breast
1H1M) to 18 per cent In tbe last decade. of hurting the credit of the firm.
Gusher—My wife has promised to there.”
"You
can
safely
say
that
DO
per
cent
#f
property
into
my
hands
at
a
fraction
scribed
in
bls
latest
letter
home;
Tiie rate nt present is accordingly l>e-
My first Impulse was to alarm Im wait for me at the gate of heaven, if
"Well, that doesn't necessarilj-x?«
"St. Peter's disappointed me. It Is of Its real value, and I did some quick Course, but an old Canadian whom 1 she is tbe first to go.
low tlie average rate of Increase for the of tbe thieving employes of Philadel
deadly combat; maybe some nunni
phia
are
uot
brought
to
Justice.
Usually
thinking.
'I've
sent
a
messenger
for
large
enough,
but
too
light
and
bore.
entire Union Instead of atwive It as for
had beckoned to the spot said we must
Flasher—Tut, tut. You shouldn’t be merely trying to get Into hi» lastrari
merly. The agricultural prizes of the they arrange to pay back their defalca The Inside is of gray marble, and there the money,' I said, aa coolly as I could, make no noise, and the snake would so revengeful as to make her wait
flannel underwear.”—Chicago Becori
tlona
on
the
lnstallm«*nt
plan.
I
know
‘
and
I'll
have
it
here
In
fifteen
minutes.
’
is no stained glass. So It looks like an
West have been won and population no
cross the man's body and go away. In through eternity simply because she
The famous Tbe auctioneer looked at the clock. ‘All this he was mistaken, for on reaching made you wait while she fixed up some
Still Free.
longer flows to virgin lauds to any large n bachelor of 48 who In his youth rob unfitted art gallery.
After two solid hours of moonlight
extent, whereas the manufacturing lied the bank that employed him of 1 bronze statue of St. Peter, slttiug In right,’ he replied, 'I'll give you that tlie chest the serpent colled Itself quiet times. Life.
aud uniuterruption she thought she had
cities of the East still attract popula $4,Htai. with which he speculated, hop a chair, from which the toe has been limit.’
ly as if meditating a stay. If La
Lotina Hl ep to Some Purpose.
"Then I took a desperate chan«*e. I
him. “I admit that you are the swet-
tion. The central West yields tbe pacs ing to make enough to marry. He lost kissed, would not catch your ey« if it
Course moved or woke, we shuddered
"Billy, bow’s your Insomnia?”
all, was dlacovered, and Is still (laying were not for the guide book. The great pushed through the crowd, which was
est----- ”
to tlie older sections of tbe East.
to think what would happen.
"Insomnia?”
Oh, I’ve not got ln-
off, out of n paltry salary, that debt of Vatican palace Is about as pretty as already Interested in the next sale, and
"Yes,* go on," she whispered.
Others quietly Joined us, and it was
shame. I know the histories of scores the 'brick row.' It Is very old, very l>eckoued to a little fat man who had
•omnia any more; I’ve got politics.”—
“But the doctor lias forbidden m
One of the t>ook reviewers criticises
determined that two men should ad
of «lefaulters, ami In every case tlie Irregular, and the pictures by Raphael ls*en one of the loud«*st kickers a few
Indianapolis Journal.
sweets," he added.
vance in front, to divert the attention
ex Secretary Foster for using verbs lu
thefts were, In a way. Innocently be
And the sensiitve moon retired be
and Michael Angelo were an utter dis moments before. 'Look here,’ I said, of the snake, while one should approach
the singular with the noun "United
Logic.
gun. Th«* mo^ey was taken with i lx
appointment to all of us. The Sistine lrawlng him aside, 'do you want to be with a long stick from the rear and
States," In Ills recently published work
Bystander Poor‘fellow! One of his bind a cloud.—Philadelphia Record.
determination that it would la* re
chapel, lu which M. Angelo's greatest my silent partner for an hour or so?' dislodge tbe creature.
on American diplomacy, This review-
wounds is fatal. 1 believe.
T ni poduible.
placed.”—Philadelphia Record.
paintings cover the walls and ceilings. 'What d'you mean?’ said he. I gave
On seeing the men in front, th«* rat
Policeman- So it is; but the other
er snys that to make "United States"
"Y'ou have been accustomed to lu
him
the
truth
lu
a
dozen
words.
'Now
tler raised Its head, played its evil-look wan ain't, so he lias au even chance.— uries, my dear, but you must ruDfmta
a singular noun would require au Gun t4> Fire 1)0,000 Bullets a Minute. Is a large, plain room. The pictures
let me baie that >500 deposit money,’ I
It
are all In a dark, purplish gray color,
ing tongue and shook its rattles. Indi Philadelphia Press.
amendment to the Constitution.
that it is hard for me to begin wb«t
It Is reported that James Judge
added, 'and we'll share the profits, cations of anger.
Is true that wherever In that lustru-
hard to make out and absurd wheu you
your father left off."
managing partner of the Walker Eu
whatever they are.’ The little man
The Temptation of Saint Raatum.
incut this noun la followed by a verb
Every one was in a state of feverish
"Oh, but papa says he would proba
glneerlng and Galvanizing Company, do make them out. They remind me of looked at me shrewdly. 'This is a big
tin* plural form Is used. Rut the ques
anxiety as to the fate of poor La Course,
bly find it impossible to leave oS afw
has patented a gun which he believes rather plain and faded circus bills with Joke on all of us,’ he said, grinning,
tion wheth«»r to say "th«* United States
who still lay asleep. The man behind
you had begun.”—Life.
when perfected, will discharge the the actors performing on the tia;>eze. 'and I gti«*ss I'll risk tlie deal.’ At the
Is” or “the United States are” Involves
now came up with a stick seven feet
enormous number of 30,000 bullets per Raphael's greatest pictures are rich In same time he counted out $500 and put
Reason Enough,
some things lieslih-s thia authoritative
long, quickly placed one end under the
minute. The gun discharges Its mis colors, but are not more Interesting It In my hands. I raced back to the
“I believe,” said the new clerk, “tl.at
usage.
When the Constitution was
reptile,
anil
succeeded
in
pitching
it
He
and
Angelo
never
saw
a
naked
slles by “centrifugal force,” being, lu
desk with the cash, clinched the sale,
our claim is that only the select few
framed Its authors said; 'The House of
fact, a wonderful development of the woman or child, I guess, nor were ever and before noon had tlie deed In my ten feet from the man's body.
buy our goods.1
Representatives shall choose tlielr
A
shout
of
Joy
was
the
first
intima
even
at
Atlantic
City.
They
give
chll-
ancient sllug. It has a disc working
possession. Then, to make a long story
"That's right.” said the fashionabb
speaker ami other officers,” although
within a case at 13,000 revolutions pei ilr«*n th«* muscles of a Romau gladiator short, my »llent partner offered me $L- tion La Course had of his wonderful
hatierdasber. “Because our prices ia
to day we say, "the House of Repre
escape.
The
snake
was
pursued
and
or
a
Barnum
strong
man.
The
ruins
minute, a a(«e«*d which has already
1)00 cash for my Interest, and xs >1,000
so high."
sentatives Is.” Also they used the word
been obtained lu practice. From the of ancient Rome are also a great dls- l«M>ke«l about as big as a mountain at killed.
"But why are our prices so high?”
“the" before "Congress," saying, "but
circumference of the disc project two appolntment, as a rule. With tbe excep
"Because only tbe select few i>«J
A Cool One.
the Congress may at nnytlme," where hands. The bullets are poured Into the tion of the wonderful Coliseum and a that stage of the game, I promptly ac
here.”—Philadelphia Piess.
If politeness can ever be considered
we should omit the article. Besides case from a hopper, nnd a* they full ar« tew more thlugs all the rest are nothing cepted. That $1,000, fortunately placed,
gave me the start that has kept me go a fault it would be in such a ease as
these «arlatlotts'lu custom, events have caught by the hands, which In coming but stoue piles, so far ns they appear
Working Both End».
ing ever since.
the following, which is report«! by a
doubtless hint some support to lit« "Is" rain them out In a continuous stream to the common spectator.”- Kansas
“Dr. Ihisem and bis wife seem
"Gwau, chicken! Use got religion!"
"But
what
about
the
eyeglasses,
did
fireman
and
printed in Collier’s
«Id«* of the controversy.
In league together, don't they?’
through an orifice. They are guided City Journal.
you say? Why, tbe auctioneer, as I af Weekly:
A liefest.
Into a sleeve which may be elevated
"How so?”
terward learned, was very near-slght-
"The coolest man I ever saw," said a
Tea Culture in India.
"When my daughter got married we
A tiMMt 1« a rued aud upright Judge lias or depressed nnd slglitisl like tlie muz
“Why, he Is trying to boom Mi
i*d.
and
on
tlie
morning
to
which
I
refer
New
York
fireman,
“
i
'I
met
at
a
fire
in
Tlie east lias always been considered
thought we would board with her aud dyspepsia cure, while she is runa.M
ruled that a married woman, either ■le of a rifle. The disc of the gun Is
lie
had
forgotten
his
glasses.
That
was
a dwelling-house on Fifth avenue, We her busband.”
living with or apart from her husband, alxiut 3 feel lu diameter, and as It tlie homo of tlie tea plant, China hav
a cooking school."—Philadelphia Eres
"Well?”
may !«■ considered tlie head of the travels nt the rate of 15.000 revolutions ing grown it for centuriea, although th« why be mistook my gesture of disavow found tim in au up stairs front room,
ing Bulletin.
bouse. This 1« tbe de jure phas« of the l>er minute the circumferential rate Is original country of tea Is not known. al for a sign of assent and force«! me. In dressing to go out. The fire by this time
"We got a late start, somehow, and
What He Loved.
of
myself.
Into
a
good
thing.
I
never
was surging up through the bouse at a they are txiardlug with ua.’’—Chicago
proposition; every lutelllgeut jierson 45.000 feet. This would Impel bullets It lias been found in a truly wild stat«
Cynicus—I love-----
has known that tbe married woiuau has with tremendous muxale velocity, and in Assam. It tuay be cultivated in understood the exact true Inwardness great rate.
Record.
Miss Anteek—Ah! I’ve suspected It»
“ ‘Hallo, there!' we hollered at him,
frequently been tbe head of the house at close range would. Mr. Judge the east through a wide range from of the deal, but the facta In the rough
The Seqne’,
along
—you naughty man!
were
that
a
clique
of
speculators
had
when
we
looked
in
at
tlie
door.
Tbe
de facto. Chronic old wotuau haters, declares, menu absolute anuihllatlou to India to Japan. The Industry, how
Cynicus—I love tbe deliciou» fre««!*1®
Mr Remotely (of Lonelyvllle, N. J.)_
like St Paul for example, have foolish nu enemy.
ever, is not indigenous to India, but formed a combine to keep down pries, house Is »fire!’
" ’Would it disturb you If I should re Are you through making the monthly of bachelorhood.
ly Insisted tliat the man is the head of
rather a child by adoption. It Is but but. owing to some misunderstanding,
Miss Anteek — Brute!-Obto 9U»
failed
to
bld
promptly
on
the
property
main
while you are putting It out?' he payments on your cottage, so you own
the Woman aud consequently of the
Felicity.
little more than a century ago that an
it entirely
Journal.
which
I
secured.
Tbe
auctioneer
wan
said, llftlag tbe comb from his hair aud
bouse, but you do not find that narrow
Mrs. Crimson lies k I rem! lu the pa attempt was made to cultivate tbe tea
Mr. Isolate (of ditto, lugubriously)—
and absurd view Indorsed In these pip tier the other day that «luring tlie first plant in India and It was not until as onto the game and anxious to break It looking round at us. He had on a white
Cold Weather Diet.
Miss Pester— Itor. what
ing days of feminine ematiclpatIon and day of her married life a Corea n bride late as IMl that the first public sale up, hence his precipitancy In knocking evening waistcoat, and his dress coat Yes; I am commencing to pay the
monthly repair bills now.—Brooklyn ommend for a cold-weather diet?
advancement. Of course a pronounce must uot speak, not even to Iter hus of tea occurred ut Calcutta, which city down the lot to yours truly. I heard lay acroos a chair.
Eagle.
Dr. Bergamot—Flannel cake».-?1“
ment from tbe bench Is gratifying to band. It Is considered a very repre seems to have ever since controlled tbt later on that my portly silent partner
"S«*elngus staring at him. he dropped
made $*.<*<' out of »be transaction, his comb Into bia hair again and went
feminine pride as an ludorsetneuL how
State Journal.
hensible breach of etiquette.
Hard«
market of the Indian tea trade.
but I don't begrudge him the money, on combing. But as a matter of fact he
ever reluctant, yet we dare say that it
Mr. Criinnonlwak Now. that*« some
Tnrn About 1» Fair Play.
"Say.” remnrkeil the first boy on tbe
The $500 he gave me on faith that was about ready. He put down the
Cobweb« Stop Telegraphing.
will not surprise anybody and will not | thing llk<> a
honeytuoou Yonkers
Tramp (to chappie, who has P'
way to school. "I Just beard the minis
morning
was
worth
fully
A peculiar but very serious difficulty
10 per cent comb, put on his coat and hat and ter tell another man 'at my pa was a him a shiltlngi-l 'ope as ow som« «■
lead to any sudden upheavals, The Statesman.
beaeta tlie o{>eratlou of telegraph lines a minute."-New Orletuis Times-1 lem- picked up his overcoat
bench has merely fallen In with the
•horrible example.' Wonder what 'at sir, you may want a shillin. *n ’
Illg I * h ‘««motives.
In the Argeutiue Republic. The small ocrat
natural trend; woman has made the
" 'Now I’m repdy. gentlemen,' be said. is."
I'U be able to give It to yerl-P»«*-
Pittsburg
locomotive
works
have spider of the variety that spins a long
law and the Judges hare graciously con
"We started, but the stairway bad
"1 guess." replied the other, "1 he must
DANCE WITH A KEEN ZEST.
curred. Personally we know nothing completed two engine« which ar« cobweb and floats It In the air, la so
now l«oen closed up by fire. We turned have a lot o' fractions in him." Phlla-
Ac< v*«e«l by « I’lgeon.
of the Judge, but we suspect that lie Is claimed to t«e the moat powerful and plentiful there that the floating webs
The homing pigeon Las prove«!
Has.Ian
Raila Ar« Eaaaatially Dtf- to the window». The boys had got a delphia Press.
heaviest
yet
const
Tinted
Each
weigh.«
a married man. «iwiiklng front experi
settle on the wires tn enormous quanti
locality is a faculty fully deielopo1
ladder up ts tbe front of the bouse.
tarant 1 rooi Thnae la Amer.co.
Not Left in the Dark.
ence and with deep feeling. And while 111% tons, the tenders having ,i water ties. As soon as dew falls or a shower
the bird's little brain, but a »rlIer
“ ‘Now. tken.’ we said to him, when
Th«
modern
society
ball
In
America
•’Did that horse dealer do the fair the Boston Herald give» an ln»t»®(*
he may not get a statue at the hands capacity of 7.500 gallons and a coui ca of rain comes up every microscopic
we came to the window.
la
little
mor«
than
a
dress
promenade,
tiling by you?”
of grateful womanhood we fancy that l«aelty of fourtes u ton*.
thread l»econies wet and establishes a
" After you, gentlemen/ he said,
memory that was most tou< hin$-
but In a Russian ballroom the guests
"Well, he told me all the horse'» mean
he would have speedily become a statue
minute leak. The effect of millions of
A Indy living in the top dory «
standing
back.
Ami
I
’m
blessed
if we tricks
actually
dance;
they
do
not
merely
His R«*<-or«l.
after he had s«ikl the beast to
had he decided the case In any other
skyscraper,
such leaks is practically to stop the op.
didn't have to go down the ladder
Boston
skyscraper, had I*»* ,B**
shamble
to
and
fro
in
a
crowd,
crump
Myer Who Is the man across the orations of the lines, and the govern
uie."— Chicago Record.
way.
first!"
f
habit ol feeding the pigeou» snd ’l
way with the gold uie.lal <>n bls «-.«at?
ment telegraph department, especially ling their clothes and ruflllug their tem
rows who flew r to the little l«ln’O.» 1
Football Is a game which calls for
Gyre Oh. that's How niug lie holds In Bueno« Ayres, has bees put to vast per« »ml call It a set of quadrille«,
A Soft Answer,
Her Own Depot.
■ceedw *
The very superior saleslady had stu- fore her window, and bad •■«* « *
They
thorough preparation. It is what Mr. the automobile reconl.
The fait Is not generally known that
Inconvenience by the cobwebs. A num says a foreign correepomtem.
taming
some
of
her
pensioners,
diously ignored tbe efforts of tbe shop-
Myer Automobile record?
Roosevelt would term a strenuous
out of *
ber of expedients have l>een tried, but have ample space for tbe swreplng the (JiMvn has a private railway sta
»port. It la not a recreation for weak
tlyer V««. ran over thlrt«*vn pevpl« to no avail.
movements and complicated figures of tl«»n. This Is at Gosport and Is used p ng person to attract her attention. two pigeons even eating
lings. It Is not even safe for strong in one afternoon Boston Journal.
■II the orthodox ball dances, and are by her Majesty when emloirkitig for Finally, however, she condescended to ban«!.
id
One «lay. while passing along *
men who have not l«een especially train
Russian Orthtuioi Chnrvh.
generally gifted with »urtlcl«nt plastic Oaborne. Tlie station consists of a ask:
w **
The l>«-<-|w«t l.akc.
Street, tills lady was surp
•d for It. But for the «easonefi athlete
The pr«*s«-nt orthodox church of Rtts- grace to carry them out Ln style. They long, senil cln ular platform, the end of
"Is any one waiting on you?"
The dre|H*st lake In the world I» Lak, aia Is divide«! Into sixty-aeven cy»ar-
It has few perils. The fatalities among
“I'm afraid th it.” replied the shop- a pigeon flutter away fn>n
«-arefully cultivât« dance« calling for • which Is connected with a pontoon
fr. '.»lUra ,f I*
U. MV
the coUegi- elevens are few and far be Baikal, tn Siberia. In some ;>arts It 1«. chles, Including one In Alaska, ami kind of grace which la almost beyond against which the royal yacht la WUal- ping person,
sweetly; "my husband was paiilons strutting In the the SR11 slit
5.2H1
fret
drep;
It«
length
I»
M»7
ml
I«-«
tween he. a use every man Is tralne«! to
forty-three vicarial neat« of blabo|ia. the reach of art.
ly moored It Is a strange fact that no — I left hitn ontslde- -but I'm afrai«l road. i«‘I come upon
• op a :»
tbe hour TI m * «am«» thing la true lu a with au ares of 15,t»st *«;uare mi!es It Russia ha« now 117 archlbshopo. In-
The mazurka Is one of tbe finest of other member of the royal family ever be's
■me disgusted and gone home ” where It almost tripped
la
the
largwt
lake
In
Asia,
and
the
sixth
effort» to attra«-t her •« tioa
—I’ll
me«"nre of all athleti«* sports. Trained
rlmllng three uu tropolitana, sixty rev- there, and It la quit« • favorite at ball*
I
h-lphla Pre«*.
this wtatloa.
. ev
largest
In
the
worm,
It fluttered around h>
pugilists will hammer each other for
Russia has now 117 archbishops, la- ou the banks of tbe Nev«. It gn-ds a
every sign of pleasure an«l
Ht ise Na-ne Xesdy ’'a te.
hours and be none the worse for It next
We have noticed that les« 1« said
<<«od deal v( rooai. one or mure spurred
New rule of the iHin't Worry Club tbirty-a.uc bishop«.
DA
Tess-So
your
friend.
May
Glddie.
Is
«lay. Trained bicyclists will rlile for
and when she c alleil It
when
a
woman
is
<!
’
spp«ilnted
oAcers and grace. Listen to the de
If you are hungry, don't try not to
In a going np«>n the stage.
flew at her
I’ointtng the W«V tht«.
I
siippum*
she
days without n*«t or sleep an«! turn up
little
creature
fairly
husband
than
when
sb
’.à«1»
e is disappointed
worry ai«uut It. but try to get some-
"What do yon think Mbs Popkina did scriptions "The dash with which th« In a cow.
Now. in the midst of sl‘ ■
exp i ts to make a name for herself.
perfectly fresh after twenty four tauirs'
partners rush forward, the clinking and
h Def***'
thing to «*et
slutt
I
stayed
late
last
night?
”
Jess She di«! think sbe'd have to. throng the pigeon knew It»
re«t
Untrslneil men are frequently
clattering of spurs ss heel clash«« with
■s. •*?• '?
"Wbatr
Ion are having goxl luck enough if but she found a lovely one in an
hllle<l In friendly boxing eontasts I t>
Put your ruon< y In a tmller factory if
ol.l who. with tears in her eye joy
*
heel
In
midair,
punctuating
thiSita
cato
gO,,-.
--------- • .. .. .
your
friend«
n*
ve
r
bear
tbe
mean
"Sh«
got
up
aud
bung
an
Exit'
plac
recognition
gave
her
mere
,
«
’
y
novel
that's
Just
too
sw«j;t
for
tra ued cj< lists kill themselves by at ).u ar* losing for a «ouud lux-stm. at
of tbe music; tbe loud thud ot breu things you «ay at-ont them.
ard ua th« parlor door.”- lhack.
11
thin«»
-
1'1,11
*
-
1
. 1 ..-«a.
th« queen had saluted **•
i
0