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About Lane County leader. (Cottage Grove, Lane County, Or.) 1903-1905 | View Entire Issue (May 8, 1903)
Eg Humors DM«1» Understand. M i*. Swaggertou—My daughtei It people end cease many haan t come out yet, you know. Mr*. HomeleJgh—Indeed! What was ini pies, bolls sod other she sent to prison for?—Ally Sloper. ksiiles loss of appetite, It Certainly Would. leling , fits of biliousness, She—What a happy world this would bid headache. be If— He—If what? ■r ono gets rid of them the She— If men, could only believe all k e way to got rid of them they say.—Cincinnati Enquirer. I up tlie system that has His Reason for Suicide. B them is to take A New York man wrote as hls rea son for attempting suicide that he had f consulted 25 doctors, but none was able to cure him of asthma. Sarsaparilla \nd Pills combiuution the Spring Sure Enough. Yeast—It’s hard to keep a good man r excellence, c f unequalled down. purifying tho blood as Crimsonbeak—That’s why they put gequalled, radical and per- such heavy monuments over some of them. I suppose.—Yonkers Statesman. * B alt Rheum d B alls, P im p les if H um or P so ria sis o n ln g R h eu m a tism D yspepsia, E te o substitute, but be sure to aud get it today. An Explanation. ’’What kept you so late?” asked tho physician’s wife. “Coming flown on the elevated road my professional services were very much In demand.” replied the belated M. D. “Man In first car was overcome by the heat and by the time I got him straightened out another ntan was discovered In the rear car almost frox en to death." No Use at All. has offended her)—Won’t Must Have Been. i at me? did, you’d kiss me again, First Chappie— I wonder now, Chol- honest, I won’t, lle. how the donkey ever came to be in what’s the use? used as the—er—emblem of stupidity? Second Chappie (with a yawn)— A Reminder. Don't know. I’m sure, deah boy; must i—W hat have you got that have been before our day. about your finger for? His Style. —Oh. I’ve been getting mar- ay wife doesn't want me to Jeweler—Diamond shirt studs? Yes, sir; here's a set, neat little stones, for $125. I Manager Realizes It. Customer—Huh! Out home In Chi Is something elevating In cago I can get—" [id the artist. Jew eler—Ah! yes, pardon me. Here I answered the manager, you are. Ju st look at these big fiash- rtalmy has the effect of stim- | es—three karats each! Sell you the ty Ideas as to salary.” 1 set for $3.50.—Philadelphia Press. Is the greatest remedy in the world for all bodily for which in external remedy may be used. Price, 25c. and 50c. CAPTAIN OF A BATTLESH IP. A u to crat W h o R ule» G reat C roft A p p a l l i n g R eap ooaiblltty. Over the vast establishment rules the captain In supreme and Isolated authority, says Lleuteuaut-Coutwand- er Greaves, L'. S. N., lu the World’s Work. All hls accomplishments must be those of the seauieu, for be directs tlie movements of the ship In all evo lutions. anti bis decision upon all pro fessional points is flnal. Hls respon sibility at all times Is grave aud ex acting. In time of war it will strain the stoutest nerves; iu the hour of bat tle It Is nothing abort of appalling, when lie stands alone in bis conning- tower, having control of all tue tre mendous forces lying lateut lu bis ship ouly to be released at the proper moment by a touch of bis baud. He Is the guiding spirit of au enor mous projectile of 15,0110 tons that rushes through the water at a speed. It may be, of fifteen knots, and be knows that the slightest mistake of bis bead or heart may mean a uatioual dis aster. But besides being the naval and mil itary chief of the establishment, he Is a lawyer—a kind of Justice of the peace, as It were, who bolds court every morning. Investigates reports of misdeineauors aud assigns punish ment to the guilty. The delluquents are brought to tho “uiagt”—the quar terdeck—with their accusers. Both sides are heard aud swift Judgment usually follows. In this capacity It will be noted that the captain is court, judge and jury. Not Infrequently be acts as clergyman, and as such Is the bishop of the diocese, acknowledging no ecclesiastical superior, readlDg the services on Sundays, officiating at the burial of bis dead, in the old days, oc casionally marrying lovers. He always messes alone. Hls gen erous quarters are entirely separate front those c f the other officers, nnd at tlie door of hls cabin stands a ma rine gentry day and night, ami none may enter without first being form ally announced. When he comes on deck to leave the ship In uniform, or when he comes on board, he Is es corted to tlie side by the executive officer aud officer of the deck, the guard Is paraded, four boys attend at the gangway, the bugler sounds the silence and every one on deck stands at attention as the boatswain pipes him cheerily over the side. T h e U n u s u a l E d ifice B u ilt b y th e E lm - h n r o t- ila p t i» t s . Jack Knife Shoes _ r "• - <ï rilcjr ' ■ w— r Ai k your dealer foe the Jack Knife Shoe. Every boy gets a prrvkrt knife with his pair of ’ "*>3 shoes. Beat wearing shoes. F .iror -y-TarytOg.-yuM strrl knr ’ »■ J,r t. Built of cobblestones and on lines suggested by an old monastery of feudal times the new Baptist church at Elmhurst. L. I., is one of the most novel bits of church architecture in the land. While yet undedlcated aud unfinished as far as the Interior worl ISE & P R IN C E , W holesalers, 87-89 First S t., Portland, Or. Ait one’s .Suicide Record, a almost always holds a world’ for suicide. In the first nine [of last year 250 men and 53 succeeded In killing them- ■ ml another 367 made unsuc- »ttempts. inaan^'ifiy Owrea 5 « fin or nerroBATifl* »iter tirsi day’* is* of l»r. M iae’s Grwat N«rv« lend for F U E R trial Lu‘tin r. ad tr* r.t* 11. K l i n a. Ltd. «31 Arc* St.» PbUad#lvkih»P* Health Haa A COBBLESTON E CHURCH. Boys' and Y ouths' First AM to the Jilted. Potent Leather. Clean patent leather with the French harness paste sold by harness makers. Apply lightly and then polish with a piece of soft cloth. Patent leather treated In this way rarely If ever cracks. Mothers will flno a r t . ATnstoWs Sooth ing Syrup ths best remedy to use tor their children during the teething period. “ For 25 years I have never missed taking Ayer's Sarsaparilla every spring. It cleanses my blood, makes me feel strong, tnd does me good in every wsy.” — John P. Hodnette, Brooklyn, N.Y. Pure and rich blood carries new life to every part of the body. You are invigorated, refreshed. You feel anxious to be active. Y ou become strong, steady,courageous. That’s what Ayer’s Sarsaparilla will do for you. S I N , M il«. P ) S O rS C U R E Tear up photograph of the Faith- less Creature. Figure up how much ■he was costing you any way. Burn up her love letters. Reflect upon her numerous faults, Including an always evident lack of good judgment. If everything else fails why ju st forget her!—Syracuse Herald. Ten Minute* Late. BUI—If you exercise for ten minutes every morning when you get up, do you know what It will do to you? Jill—Sure; make me late for break fast.—Yonkers Statesman. " T h e g le a n . K not K itc h e n K in d " of ito v e s m ak e uu itn o lte. .m e lt , »out, a * k o r exceiw ive h e a t. A lw ay» lo o k lor trad e m a rk . fq S D M P 'T-LO Ktilt-.KSON MACHINERY CO. S u c c e s s o rs to Jo h n Poole. Fo o t of M orrison s tre e t, P o rtla n d , Oregon. Sou th Bend S tee l Plow s, H lu ..N o . 264, $11.40; S o u th Bend C h illed Plow s. 14 In lt»A, $7.70; Oout.le Shovel C u ltiv a to rs.fl.lfci; N ew ton wajr on ge ar, co m p le te, a ll clip p e d , w ide track , top buggies, Ja ck so n sid e sp rin g e, reg u la r $85.00. now $5*.5U. A A The Real Thing. A He— Did you ever see anything at so-called bargain sales that was really jcheap? i She— Yes; the look on a man's face who accompanied his wife to one of 1 them.—Cincinnati Enquirer. AU Itan,IMt. For forty year'« Pise's Cure for Con sumption has’ cured ooughs and colds. At druggists. Price 25 cents. FOR Y ou c a n la rg e ly In c re a s e th e y ie ld o ( y o u r cro p by u n to , o u r spe- tat ( c r tllts - e r a W rite tor prive». For orders of $ 1.00 or more (T h is does not in c lu d e g r a ss seed s or g ard e n seeds in q u a n tity .) If in th a m a rk e t w rite fo r sp ecia l n et p rices. Worst Yet. Old Boarder—That’s a queer looking + 1 88 Fr ont S t r e e t , P o r t l a n d , O r ® . ! butter dish, Mrs. Hasher. I Mrs. Hasher—Yes, and I’m awfully ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ « ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ a proud of It, too. It has been In our H You run pet In te re st family for more than a hundred years. • f t u n u m The Charitable Sex. Old Bachelor—Indeed! Sort of heir I L I R Q I I B L V H on you r su rp lu s mou- He—What an exceptionally good looms. as It wore? complexion Mrs. Fortyodd has! _ . _ .. f f t a i l s e c r e t,ri it In tho She— Yes: it’s too good to be true. i 1 T y ■ grou nd . Y en c an drew —Cincinnati Enquirer. r B H ll D vou r m oirev e t t h t n - Lll mUnLI L ; <( p || || n U r If ■ S I " W 1 1 I 111 t j ¡5 1 | h, ■TlwIILI» D ______________________» D ■ o r P'yQjmk>P Sgr«Tf Si le r e .t s n y ito y . I t w ill pay you to I t ir e .t le s t e t n >" proposal. W rite to r p articu lar». No m a tte r h o » lit t le , o r hnw ran ch , Idle m oney you h a v e . It » h a u l« e a rn you »om eth tn g, au d irately. In v e st m e n ts m ade. Money lo an e d ou Im proved d ly o r farm prop erty. In le r e .t - b e a r t n g s e c u r itie s b o u g h t and »old. t a r g e lis t of a g r ic u ltu r a l an d tim b e r la n d s for ra le . W rite u . Unlay. CLEANLINESS AND OODLINESS. Whatever You Do, Wise Brothers Advise Good Teeth. “ Cleanliness is akin to Godliness,” is a quotation from the greatest book known to man, and it is as widely quoted at anv saying ever used. The rea»nn is found in the impressive truth of the asrertion. At the present time when this coun try is passing through an unprecedented period of prosperity, more and more attention is paid to the refinements of civilization every day. If a man, or particularly a woman, is slovenly now- in dress or personal care, they are im mediately noticed and severely criti cised. It is not hard as a rule to gain an in come beyond immediate wants, and the majority of people in the United States sre accumulating a surplus. The peo ple as a whole are lietter dressed and better groomed than they were twenty years ago. Even the luxuries of fash ionable society are becoming the ne cessities of the masses. This is tue result of a great commer cial age with all its benefits. Nothing is more conspicuous than a person’s i teeth, , If they are good and white ami clean then we are pleased, if they are discolored or missing then we are repulsed. The tremendous blessing to humanity conferred by ad vanced methods of d e e a l surgery is (rest illustrated by such an office as that of tha celebrated Wise Brothers, in tho Failing building, Portland, Oregon. Hera tooth are filled or extracted abso lutely without pain. You can be sup plier! with an entire new set of teeth at a very moderate cost. There is no more trouble about getting your teekh put in perfect order here than you have at a rss’aurant in getting your dinner. The offices are a model for anybody in point of daintiness and cleanliness. Let it be strenuously urged that, if you want to get a.ong in the world and he respected and desired by your ac quaintances, have your teeth in good condition. There is no excuse for any one to delay when there are such per fect plares as the establishment of Wise Brothers at hand. Ths cost is slight. The pain is noth ing. _________________ 8 Genuine OREGON & PHILADELPHIA SECURITIES CO. M cK ay Bu ilding, P or Hun J , O reg on . Carter's v. 1 \ H ejr Little Liver Pills. Musi Boar Signature of CARTERS FOR HEA0ACHL •A SH A lcoh ol, ©Fsum , T ob acco U s in g â p »\ |w e W r ite fo r I l l u s t r a t e d C ir c u l a r s —Ä * - * «ME*?-— fTflir 5rtONrôOM C*V t o F o r t l a n a O r z . Telephone Mein CURE SIC K HEADACHE. HKN writ lu g * - - ---- *‘-----r ’- i t t o h U m tu to p a p e r. Beginning a H a rd e s t W ood K n o w n C om ee F r o m th e C e n tra l A m e r ic a n F u rc a te . The popularity of howling has growu to such an extent In all parts of the United Slates that the manufacture of bowling balls, pins and alleys has tie- come an Industry which gives employ ment to thousands of wurkinent. While the work of constructing the alleys does not require any great amount of Inge nuity It Is In the shaping and modeling purifier In tho w orld .________ of bowling halls that great skill and Mrs. M. P. IM T T IX X B , Wythewllla, To. careful workmanship ir e required. Bowling balls are made almost exclu sively out of a wood from the West Indies and Central American countries I of the Liver and K idneys and known s i ligDum-vltae, one of ths hard you a good appetite a t a tim e est woods known, says the Philadelphia you need it most. Press. There ire sever»! agents lu 1. S . improves the digestioa aad these countries baying up this wood all up the Stom ach, aad you are not lually hauated by the fear of wI*“ almk g . g . th4, g».t mogiMno I tbs year round. It Is shipped In the estios every tim e you eat, or over u»#g as u »»«jp-a- rough for the factory In chunks about four to six feet In length and varying kd w ith dizzineaa, nervousness •r8*il1tH m k ..a «root!- hems, i.i. In diameter from six to twenty Inches. leeplessuess. There is s o reason The logs srs put Into a specially con ad the com ing of warm weather if you have your system well fortified he blood in a norm al, healthy condition. It is the polluted, slurg»ah structed cylinder aud cut Into blocks, th at iavitea disease genus, microbes and poisons of every kind aad after which the edges srs rounded with on a long train of spring and summ er ailm ents, break down the coa- ■ band saw. The rough balls are then ioa, and produce weakness, lassitude, and other debilitating disorders, turned over to expert mechanics, who, czema. Acne, N ettle-rash, Poison Oak and Ivy, and other irritatin g s k i* with tho lid of turning lathes, gradu les are sure to m ake their appearance unless the humors aad poisons ally plane them down to tbs required ^ are antidoted aad the thin, acid Wood sise. made rich and strong before the comiug The balls are then smoothed with "^ 4 I if. ” I of warm weather. t » a nit pa per turner, receive a cost of A course of S . S . S . now would be shellac and oil and are complete, with V I K ^ N l a safe precaution and a good beginning tha exception of the finger holes, which *’ M aB(| enable you to p a s s in comfort are frequently bored to measure. ^ through the hot. sultry mouths a * d : the diseases common to spring and summer. S . S . S . is guaranteed When a woman starts in to make r vegetable aad is recognized as the heat blood purifier and the most ra money, to abow her husband bow easy tting and p leasaato f all tonics W rite for our book on ” The Blood and It is, her efforts sre always funny. j j f £ S W IF T SPE C IFIC C O .. A71AMTA. GA. A A sk you r d o ctor w h at he th in k s o f A yer1 SttrsitpiirtU a. He k now s a ll ab o u t th is gram old fa ta lly m e d icin e . F o llo w Ills a d v ice aw w e w ill be sa tisfie d . Idolaters. Related K in d n e s s . re surrounded with ldolators— Mr. Smith (in street ca r)—Madam, rl women who have gods many Is many. Their affections are take my seat. Mrs. Jones (who has been standing 1 on things of the earth, per- The Toothqrush. and unsatisfying. Man’s duty fifteen minutes)—No thanks; I get off Is concerned, t outsloe walls of the Soak a new toothbrush for ten min vorshlp of the ono true God.— at the next corner. building have an aged appearance that utes in cold water and thoroughly dry MY. Smith—That’s all right so do I. sorge Adams. contrasts strangl e with the new spick and span cottages on all sides. It Is fifty years since a Baptist con gregatlon exls ed In the vicinity of Elmhurst, which was formerly the old village of Newtown. Following toe close of the Civil war the Baptist so ciety In that village dlss-lred and two years ago the Itev. William J. Noble, a graduate of Brown University, orga nlzed a now society and set about the erection of the present church. HORRIBLY AFFLICTED WITH BtILS. MAKING BOWLING BALLS. I had a h o rrib le a tta o k o f h o l l a t h a t b rak e ou t a ll o v er m y bady a ad from vh lo h I could pot uo poo- eib le r e lie f u n til I b e g a n ta k in g y o n r m edicine, an d tram m y e x p o r 1 e n o a I oau sa fe ly sa y I . > . B. Is th e b eet blood A m ÀWffeUUe Preparation for As similai T h s K i n d T o n H a t s A lw a y s B o u g h t , a n d w h ic h h a s b cem i n t u e f o r o v e r 3 0 y e a r s , h a s b o r n e t h e s ig n a t u r e o f — a n d h a s b e e n m a d e u n d e r h ls p e r - y a o n a l s u p e rv isio n s in c e It« ln ftu ic y . « w a to A llo w n o o n e t o d e c e iv e y o u In th is» A l l C o u n te r fe its , I m it a tio n s a n d “ J u s t - a s - g o o d ” a r e b u t E x p e r im e n t s t h a t t r i f le w it h a n d e n d a n g e r t h e h e a l t h o f Jn fiw ita a n d C h ild r e n —E x p e r ie n c e a g a in s t E x p e r im e n ts What Is CASTORIA Q n torla is a harmless substitute to r Castor Oil, P are goric, Drop# and Soothing Syrups. I t 1 a Pleasant» IB «oetalns neither Opium, Morphine nor other XareoMe substance. IU age U IU guarantee. I t destroys Worms g a d allays Feverishness. I t cures Diarrhoea and Wind. Colic. I t relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation, au d Flatulency. I t assimilates the F o o d , regulate# the Stomach aad Bowels, giving healthy and natural «leap. The Children’s Panacea—The Mother’s Friend. À parier I Remedy fsrCMlßp«- fto n .S o u r Stom ach.Diarrhoea Worms .Convulsions .Feverish- •ness and L o s s o r SLEEP. G B N U IN E CASTORIA ALW AY 8 Bears tho Signature o f Fac bináis Signature of \ N EW YORK. In Use For Over 3 0 Year*. .