Eg Humors
DM«1» Understand.
M i*.
Swaggertou—My
daughtei
It people end cease many haan t come out yet, you know.
Mr*. HomeleJgh—Indeed! What was
ini pies, bolls sod other she sent to prison for?—Ally Sloper.
ksiiles loss of appetite,
It Certainly Would.
leling , fits of biliousness,
She—What a happy world this would
bid headache.
be If—
He—If what?
■r ono gets rid of them the
She— If men, could only believe all
k e way to got rid of them
they say.—Cincinnati Enquirer.
I up tlie system that has
His Reason for Suicide.
B them is to take
A New York man wrote as hls rea
son for attempting suicide that he had
f
consulted 25 doctors, but none was
able to cure him of asthma.
Sarsaparilla
\nd Pills
combiuution the Spring
Sure Enough.
Yeast—It’s hard to keep a good man
r excellence, c f unequalled
down.
purifying tho blood as
Crimsonbeak—That’s why they put
gequalled, radical and per- such heavy monuments over some of
them. I suppose.—Yonkers Statesman.
* B alt Rheum
d
B alls, P im p les
if H um or P so ria sis
o n ln g
R h eu m a tism
D yspepsia, E te
o substitute, but be sure to
aud get it today.
An Explanation.
’’What kept you so late?” asked tho
physician’s wife.
“Coming flown on the elevated road
my professional services were very
much In demand.” replied the belated
M. D. “Man In first car was overcome
by the heat and by the time I got
him straightened out another ntan was
discovered In the rear car almost frox
en to death."
No Use at All.
has offended her)—Won’t
Must Have Been.
i at me?
did, you’d kiss me again,
First Chappie— I wonder now, Chol-
honest, I won’t,
lle. how the donkey ever came to be
in what’s the use?
used as the—er—emblem of stupidity?
Second Chappie (with a yawn)—
A Reminder.
Don't know. I’m sure, deah boy; must
i—W hat have you got that have been before our day.
about your finger for?
His Style.
—Oh. I’ve been getting mar-
ay wife doesn't want me to
Jeweler—Diamond shirt studs? Yes,
sir; here's a set, neat little stones, for
$125.
I Manager Realizes It.
Customer—Huh! Out home In Chi
Is something elevating In cago I can get—"
[id the artist.
Jew eler—Ah! yes, pardon me. Here
I answered
the
manager, you are. Ju st look at these big fiash-
rtalmy has the effect of stim- | es—three karats each! Sell you the
ty Ideas as to salary.”
1 set for $3.50.—Philadelphia Press.
Is the greatest remedy in the world for
all bodily
for which in external remedy may be used.
Price, 25c. and 50c.
CAPTAIN OF A BATTLESH IP.
A u to crat W h o R ule» G reat C roft
A p p a l l i n g R eap ooaiblltty.
Over the vast establishment rules
the captain In supreme and Isolated
authority, says Lleuteuaut-Coutwand-
er Greaves, L'. S. N., lu the World’s
Work. All hls accomplishments must
be those of the seauieu, for be directs
tlie movements of the ship In all evo
lutions. anti bis decision upon all pro
fessional points is flnal. Hls respon
sibility at all times Is grave aud ex
acting. In time of war it will strain
the stoutest nerves; iu the hour of bat
tle It Is nothing abort of appalling,
when lie stands alone in bis conning-
tower, having control of all tue tre
mendous forces lying lateut lu bis
ship ouly to be released at the proper
moment by a touch of bis baud.
He Is the guiding spirit of au enor
mous projectile of 15,0110 tons that
rushes through the water at a speed.
It may be, of fifteen knots, and be
knows that the slightest mistake of bis
bead or heart may mean a uatioual dis
aster.
But besides being the naval and mil
itary chief of the establishment, he Is
a lawyer—a kind of Justice of the
peace, as It were, who bolds court
every morning. Investigates reports of
misdeineauors aud assigns punish
ment to the guilty. The delluquents
are brought to tho “uiagt”—the quar
terdeck—with their accusers.
Both
sides are heard aud swift Judgment
usually follows. In this capacity It
will be noted that the captain is court,
judge and jury. Not Infrequently be
acts as clergyman, and as such Is the
bishop of the diocese, acknowledging
no ecclesiastical superior, readlDg the
services on Sundays, officiating at the
burial of bis dead, in the old days, oc
casionally marrying lovers.
He always messes alone. Hls gen
erous quarters are entirely separate
front those c f the other officers, nnd
at tlie door of hls cabin stands a ma
rine gentry day and night, ami none
may enter without first being form
ally announced.
When he comes on
deck to leave the ship In uniform, or
when he comes on board, he Is es
corted to tlie side by the executive
officer aud officer of the deck, the
guard Is paraded, four boys attend at
the gangway, the bugler sounds the
silence and every one on deck stands
at attention as the boatswain pipes
him cheerily over the side.
T h e U n u s u a l E d ifice B u ilt b y th e E lm -
h n r o t- ila p t i» t s .
Jack Knife Shoes
_
r "• -
<ï rilcjr '
■
w—
r
Ai k your dealer foe the Jack
Knife Shoe. Every boy gets a
prrvkrt knife with his pair of
’ "*>3 shoes. Beat wearing shoes. F .iror
-y-TarytOg.-yuM strrl knr ’ »■
J,r t.
Built of cobblestones and on lines
suggested by an old monastery of
feudal times the new Baptist church
at Elmhurst. L. I., is one of the most
novel bits of church architecture in
the land. While yet undedlcated aud
unfinished as far as the Interior worl
ISE & P R IN C E , W holesalers, 87-89 First S t., Portland, Or.
Ait one’s .Suicide Record,
a almost always holds a world’
for suicide. In the first nine
[of last year 250 men and 53
succeeded In killing them-
■ ml another 367 made unsuc-
»ttempts.
inaan^'ifiy Owrea 5 « fin or nerroBATifl*
»iter tirsi day’* is* of l»r. M iae’s Grwat N«rv«
lend for F U E R
trial Lu‘tin r. ad tr* r.t*
11. K l i n a. Ltd. «31 Arc* St.» PbUad#lvkih»P*
Health
Haa
A COBBLESTON E CHURCH.
Boys' and Y ouths'
First AM to the Jilted.
Potent Leather.
Clean patent leather with the French
harness paste sold by harness makers.
Apply lightly and then polish with a
piece of soft cloth. Patent leather
treated In this way rarely If ever
cracks.
Mothers will flno a r t . ATnstoWs Sooth
ing Syrup ths best remedy to use tor their
children during the teething period.
“ For 25 years I have never
missed taking Ayer's Sarsaparilla
every spring.
It cleanses my
blood, makes me feel strong, tnd
does me good in every wsy.” —
John P. Hodnette, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Pure and rich blood
carries new life to every
part of the body. You
are invigorated, refreshed.
You feel anxious to be
active. Y ou become strong,
steady,courageous. That’s
what Ayer’s Sarsaparilla
will do for you.
S I N , M il«.
P ) S O rS C U R E
Tear up photograph of the Faith-
less Creature. Figure up how much
■he was costing you any way. Burn
up her love letters. Reflect upon her
numerous faults, Including an always
evident lack of good judgment. If
everything else fails why ju st forget
her!—Syracuse Herald.
Ten Minute* Late.
BUI—If you exercise for ten minutes
every morning when you get up, do
you know what It will do to you?
Jill—Sure; make me late for break
fast.—Yonkers Statesman.
" T h e g le a n . K not K itc h e n K in d " of ito v e s
m ak e uu itn o lte. .m e lt , »out, a * k o r exceiw ive
h e a t. A lw ay» lo o k lor trad e m a rk .
fq S D M P 'T-LO
Ktilt-.KSON MACHINERY CO.
S u c c e s s o rs to Jo h n Poole.
Fo o t of M orrison s tre e t, P o rtla n d , Oregon.
Sou th Bend S tee l Plow s, H lu ..N o . 264, $11.40;
S o u th Bend C h illed Plow s. 14 In lt»A, $7.70;
Oout.le Shovel C u ltiv a to rs.fl.lfci; N ew ton wajr
on ge ar, co m p le te, a ll clip p e d , w ide track ,
top buggies, Ja ck so n sid e sp rin g e, reg
u la r $85.00. now $5*.5U.
A
A
The Real Thing.
A
He— Did you ever see anything at
so-called bargain sales that was really
jcheap?
i She— Yes; the look on a man's face
who accompanied his wife to one of
1 them.—Cincinnati Enquirer.
AU Itan,IMt.
For forty year'« Pise's Cure for Con
sumption has’ cured ooughs and colds. At
druggists. Price 25 cents.
FOR
Y ou c a n la rg e ly In c re a s e th e y ie ld o (
y o u r cro p by u n to , o u r spe- tat ( c r tllts -
e r a W rite tor prive».
For orders of $ 1.00 or more
(T h is does not in c lu d e g r a ss seed s or
g ard e n seeds in q u a n tity .)
If in th a m a rk e t w rite fo r sp ecia l n et
p rices.
Worst Yet.
Old Boarder—That’s a queer looking + 1 88 Fr ont S t r e e t , P o r t l a n d , O r ® .
! butter dish, Mrs. Hasher.
I Mrs. Hasher—Yes, and I’m awfully ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ « ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ a
proud of It, too. It has been In our
H
You run pet In te re st
family for more than a hundred years. • f t u n u m
The Charitable Sex.
Old Bachelor—Indeed! Sort of heir I L I R Q I I B L V H on you r su rp lu s mou-
He—What an exceptionally good
looms. as It wore?
complexion Mrs. Fortyodd has!
_ . _ ..
f f t a i l s e c r e t,ri it In tho
She— Yes: it’s too good to be true.
i 1 T y
■
grou nd . Y en c an drew
—Cincinnati Enquirer.
r B H ll
D vou r m oirev e t t h t n -
Lll mUnLI
L
; <(
p
||
|| n U r If
■
S I " W 1 1
I
111 t j ¡5 1 |
h,
■TlwIILI»
D
______________________» D
■ o r P'yQjmk>P Sgr«Tf Si
le r e .t s n y ito y . I t w ill
pay you to I t ir e .t le s t e
t n >" proposal. W rite
to r p articu lar».
No
m a tte r h o » lit t le , o r
hnw ran ch , Idle m oney
you h a v e . It » h a u l«
e a rn you »om eth tn g,
au d irately.
In v e st
m e n ts m ade. Money lo an e d ou Im proved d ly
o r farm prop erty.
In le r e .t - b e a r t n g s e c u r itie s
b o u g h t and »old.
t a r g e lis t of a g r ic u ltu r a l
an d tim b e r la n d s for ra le . W rite u . Unlay.
CLEANLINESS AND OODLINESS.
Whatever You Do, Wise Brothers Advise
Good Teeth.
“ Cleanliness is akin to Godliness,”
is a quotation from the greatest book
known to man, and it is as widely
quoted at anv saying ever used.
The
rea»nn is found in the impressive truth
of the asrertion.
At the present time when this coun
try is passing through an unprecedented
period of prosperity, more and more
attention is paid to the refinements of
civilization every day. If a man, or
particularly a woman, is slovenly now-
in dress or personal care, they are im
mediately noticed and severely criti
cised.
It is not hard as a rule to gain an in
come beyond immediate wants, and the
majority of people in the United States
sre accumulating a surplus.
The peo
ple as a whole are lietter dressed and
better groomed than they were twenty
years ago.
Even the luxuries of fash
ionable society are becoming the ne
cessities of the masses.
This is tue result of a great commer
cial age with all its benefits.
Nothing is more conspicuous than a
person’s i teeth, , If they are good and
white ami clean then we are pleased,
if they are discolored or missing then
we are repulsed.
The tremendous
blessing to humanity conferred by ad
vanced methods of d e e a l surgery is
(rest illustrated by such an office as
that of tha celebrated Wise Brothers, in
tho Failing building, Portland, Oregon.
Hera tooth are filled or extracted abso
lutely without pain. You can be sup
plier! with an entire new set of teeth at
a very moderate cost.
There is no
more trouble about getting your teekh
put in perfect order here than you have
at a rss’aurant in getting your dinner.
The offices are a model for anybody in
point of daintiness and cleanliness.
Let it be strenuously urged that, if
you want to get a.ong in the world and
he respected and desired by your ac
quaintances, have your teeth in good
condition. There is no excuse for any
one to delay when there are such per
fect plares as the establishment of
Wise Brothers at hand.
Ths cost is slight. The pain is noth
ing.
_________________
8
Genuine
OREGON & PHILADELPHIA SECURITIES CO.
M cK ay Bu ilding, P or Hun J , O reg on .
Carter's
v.
1
\
H ejr
Little Liver Pills.
Musi Boar Signature of
CARTERS
FOR HEA0ACHL
•A SH
A lcoh ol,
©Fsum ,
T ob acco
U s in g â p »\
|w e
W r ite fo r
I l l u s t r a t
e d
C ir c u l a r s
—Ä * - * «ME*?-—
fTflir 5rtONrôOM C*V t o
F o r t l a n a O r z .
Telephone Mein
CURE SIC K HEADACHE.
HKN writ lu g * - - ---- *‘-----r ’- i t t
o h
U m
tu to p a p e r.
Beginning
a
H a rd e s t W ood K n o w n C om ee F r o m th e
C e n tra l A m e r ic a n F u rc a te .
The popularity of howling has growu
to such an extent In all parts of the
United Slates that the manufacture of
bowling balls, pins and alleys has tie-
come an Industry which gives employ
ment to thousands of wurkinent. While
the work of constructing the alleys does
not require any great amount of Inge
nuity It Is In the shaping and modeling
purifier In tho w orld .________
of bowling halls that great skill and
Mrs. M. P. IM T T IX X B ,
Wythewllla, To.
careful workmanship ir e required.
Bowling balls are made almost exclu
sively out of a wood from the West
Indies and Central American countries
I of the Liver and K idneys and
known s i ligDum-vltae, one of ths hard
you a good appetite a t a tim e
est woods known, says the Philadelphia
you need it most.
Press.
There ire sever»! agents lu
1. S . improves the digestioa aad
these countries baying up this wood all
up the Stom ach, aad you are not
lually hauated by the fear of wI*“ almk g . g . th4, g».t mogiMno I tbs year round. It Is shipped In the
estios every tim e you eat, or
over u»#g as u
»»«jp-a- rough for the factory In chunks about
four to six feet In length and varying
kd w ith dizzineaa, nervousness •r8*il1tH m k ..a «root!- hems, i.i.
In diameter from six to twenty Inches.
leeplessuess. There is s o reason
The logs srs put Into a specially con
ad the com ing of warm weather if you have your system well fortified
he blood in a norm al, healthy condition. It is the polluted, slurg»ah structed cylinder aud cut Into blocks,
th at iavitea disease genus, microbes and poisons of every kind aad after which the edges srs rounded with
on a long train of spring and summ er ailm ents, break down the coa- ■ band saw. The rough balls are then
ioa, and produce weakness, lassitude, and other debilitating disorders, turned over to expert mechanics, who,
czema. Acne, N ettle-rash, Poison Oak and Ivy, and other irritatin g s k i* with tho lid of turning lathes, gradu
les are sure to m ake their appearance unless the humors aad poisons ally plane them down to tbs required
^
are antidoted aad the thin, acid Wood sise.
made rich and strong before the comiug
The balls are then smoothed with
"^ 4
I if. ”
I
of warm weather.
t » a nit pa per turner, receive a cost of
A course of S . S . S . now would be shellac and oil and are complete, with
V I
K ^ N l
a safe precaution and a good beginning tha exception of the finger holes, which
*’ M
aB(| enable you to p a s s in comfort are frequently bored to measure.
^
through the hot. sultry mouths a * d
: the diseases common to spring and summer. S . S . S . is guaranteed
When a woman starts in to make
r vegetable aad is recognized as the heat blood purifier and the most ra money, to abow her husband bow easy
tting and p leasaato f all tonics W rite for our book on ” The Blood and It is, her efforts sre always funny.
j j f £ S W IF T SPE C IFIC C O .. A71AMTA. GA.
A
A sk you r d o ctor w h at he th in k s o f A yer1
SttrsitpiirtU a. He k now s a ll ab o u t th is gram
old fa ta lly m e d icin e . F o llo w Ills a d v ice aw
w e w ill be sa tisfie d .
Idolaters.
Related K in d n e s s .
re surrounded with ldolators—
Mr. Smith (in street ca r)—Madam,
rl women who have gods many
Is many. Their affections are take my seat.
Mrs. Jones (who has been standing
1 on things of the earth, per-
The Toothqrush.
and unsatisfying. Man’s duty fifteen minutes)—No thanks; I get off Is concerned, t
outsloe walls of the
Soak a new toothbrush for ten min
vorshlp of the ono true God.— at the next corner.
building
have
an
aged
appearance
that
utes in cold water and thoroughly dry
MY. Smith—That’s all right so do I.
sorge Adams.
contrasts strangl e with the new spick
and span cottages on all sides.
It Is fifty years since a Baptist con
gregatlon exls ed In the vicinity of
Elmhurst, which was formerly the old
village of Newtown. Following toe
close of the Civil war the Baptist so
ciety In that village dlss-lred and two
years ago the Itev. William J. Noble,
a graduate of Brown University, orga
nlzed a now society and set about the
erection of the present church.
HORRIBLY AFFLICTED WITH BtILS.
MAKING BOWLING BALLS.
I had a h o rrib le
a tta o k o f h o l l a
t h a t b rak e ou t a ll
o v er m y bady a ad
from vh lo h I
could pot uo poo-
eib le r e lie f u n til
I b e g a n ta k in g
y o n r m edicine,
an d tram m y e x
p o r 1 e n o a I oau
sa fe ly sa y I . > . B.
Is th e b eet blood
A
m
ÀWffeUUe Preparation for As
similai
T h s K i n d T o n H a t s A lw a y s B o u g h t , a n d w h ic h h a s b cem
i n t u e f o r o v e r 3 0 y e a r s , h a s b o r n e t h e s ig n a t u r e o f
— a n d h a s b e e n m a d e u n d e r h ls p e r -
y
a o n a l s u p e rv isio n s in c e It« ln ftu ic y .
« w a to
A llo w n o o n e t o d e c e iv e y o u In th is»
A l l C o u n te r fe its , I m it a tio n s a n d “ J u s t - a s - g o o d ” a r e b u t
E x p e r im e n t s t h a t t r i f le w it h a n d e n d a n g e r t h e h e a l t h o f
Jn fiw ita a n d C h ild r e n —E x p e r ie n c e a g a in s t E x p e r im e n ts
What Is CASTORIA
Q n torla is a harmless substitute to r Castor Oil, P are
goric, Drop# and Soothing Syrups. I t 1 a Pleasant» IB
«oetalns neither Opium, Morphine nor other XareoMe
substance. IU age U IU guarantee. I t destroys Worms
g a d allays Feverishness. I t cures Diarrhoea and Wind.
Colic. I t relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation,
au d Flatulency. I t assimilates the F o o d , regulate# the
Stomach aad Bowels, giving healthy and natural «leap.
The Children’s Panacea—The Mother’s Friend.
À parier I Remedy fsrCMlßp«-
fto n .S o u r Stom ach.Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish-
•ness and L o s s o r SLEEP.
G B N U IN E
CASTORIA
ALW AY 8
Bears tho Signature o f
Fac bináis Signature of
\
N EW
YORK.
In Use For Over 3 0 Year*.
.