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About Cottage Grove leader. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1905-1915 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 4, 1908)
$1.00 Package Free To All The Funny Corner A good Samaritan, passing an apart- any difference which of these cars I take ment house in the small Honrs of the to Greenwood Cemetery?” Not to me. madam,” he answered, morning, noticed a man leaning limply slipping through an opening in the against the doorway. he asked, crowrd. "What's the matter?” Drunk?” "Yep.” W h en F a t L a u h e d L a st “ Do vou live in this house?' ‘‘Yep." A short time ago two Englishmen on D o you want me to help you up- a visit to Ireland hired a boat for the stairs?" purpose of having a sail. "Yep.” One of the Britons, thinking he would With much difficulty he half dragged, have a good joke at Pat's expense, asked half carried the drooping figure up the him if he knew anything about astrology. stairway to the second floor. "Be jabers, no.” said Pat. ‘‘What floor do you live on?” he asked ‘ Then that’s the best part of your life “ Is this it?” just lost,” answered the Englishnfhn. Yep. The second Englishman then asked Rather than face an tfate wife wrho Pat if he knew anything about theology, Every Mas or Woman Can Have a Beautiful Head of Hair By Using The might, perhaps, take him for a com- *Be jabers, no,” “ answered ‘ ~ Pat. Wonder?id Faso Treatment. panion more at fault than her spouse, he “ Well,” the second said, “ I must say opened the first door he came to and that's the very best part of your life pushed the limp figure in. Foso Quickly Rem oves D a n d r u f f , lost.” The good Samaritan groped his way Free $1.00 P a ck age Coupon A few minutes later a sudden squall Stops Falling hair and Itching Scalp, downstairs again. As he was passing arose and the boat capsized. Pat began Changes Gray or Faded Hair to Its F ill in your name amt aridrea* on the blank lines through the vestibule he was able to to swjm The Britons, however, could below, cut out the coupon and mail to J. F. Ktokea, Natural Color. Orows New Hair. M a r . . R48K F o m > Bldg., Cincinnati, Ohio. Endowe ten make out the dim outlines of another not 6wlnli and both called loudly to Pat eenth in stain pst or silver an an evidence o f good faith Meu whose hair or beards are stragglin g or all and to help cover packing. i>o«ta«e. etc., and a fu ll man. apparently in worse conditio« than to help them. «o n e women whose tresses have bee* thinned $1.00 package w ill tie aent you at once by m ail pre the first one. Do you know anything about swim by fever or hair fa llin g out requiring the u«e o f paid free o f charge. "What’s the matter?” he asked. "A re ming?” asked Pat. «witches; little children, boys and g ir l* wlioae hair is coarse and unruly; all find is this great you drunk, too?” "N o," answered both Englishmen. rem edy joat the re lief that they want. ‘Yep.” was the feeble reply. “Weil, be jabers,” replied Pat, "then “ Do vou live in this house, too?” I don’t ask you to take my word for both oi your lives is lost!” “ Y c P:" It. Fill out free coupon below and mall “ Shall I help you upstairs?” ------- today for a free $1.00 package that will G ive full address—w rite plainly. prove all I claim. The good Samaritan pushed, pulled and Strong W ater carried him to the secind floor, where Mr. Edison was once asked to send this man also said he lived. He opened a phonographic cylinder to a fair. He U/ANTFD m locality In tb United States, to advertise the same door and pushed him in. sent this reply t oar goons, tack up show cards in all con As he again reached the front door “ Yon ask me to send you a phono- splcaons plaoae, and distribute small advertising matter. Y You ou c can ann T iavea a F IN E L I T T L E PO N Y A N D PO N Y Commission or saiary $83 per month and expanses $4 per he discerned the shadow of a third man, graphic cylinder and to say a few words C A ftT .rrith a com plete outfit, including H arness, Blan day. Steady work the year ronnd; entirely new plan; no evidently worse off than either of the to the audience. I do not think the ket, w nip.robes,etc., without p ayin g a cent. Send your name and address and I w ill tell you why 1 want yon to axperienca required. W rite for particulars. other two. He was about to approach audience would take any interest in dry have it. Mrs. f c. Smith \} Exchange St., Portland, Me WM. R. WARNER MED. CO., London, Oat. Caneds. him when the object of his solicitude scientific subjects, but perhaps they lurched out into the street and threw might be interested in a little story that himself into the arms of a passing po a man sent me on a phonographic cylin liceman. der the other day from San Francisco. ‘For Heaven sake, off’cer,” he gasped, In the year 1873 a man from Massa- “protect me from that man. He^ done chusetts came to California with nothin’ all night long but carry me up- chronic liver complaint. He searched all stairs 'n throw me down th' elevator over the coast for a mineral spring to shaf.” . cure the disease, and finally he found, ------- down In the San Joaquin Valley, a Two beautiful . spring the waters of which almost in- full Size 16x20 “ * «temerauerea stantly cured him. He therefore started pictured* and a A restaurant-keeper hung out this A. . sanitarium, and . people all over the . sign: package of ten ^ ro rld - came and were quickly cured. Coffefc: Last year this man died, and so powerful handsomely “ Such as Mother Used to Make.” had been the action of the water that. co lo red post A customer asked, pointing to the before they could bury him. they had to cards given sign: take his liver out and kill it with a club. "Is your coffee really such as mother FREE to all an used to make?" — “ sw erin g this "It is." replied the proprietor. advertisement "Then." said the man with a remi- Mark T w a in an E tlg n e tte in good faith. niscent look, "give me a cup of tea." Mark Twain, at a dinner in New York, ____ talked on etiquette: Write to-day. W o u ld n 't you lik e "1 once read a book of etiquette,” be » P R I Z E o f this hand Snooks, visiting at a conntry house, said, "and I still remember many of the some. elegant, attrac- was put in the haunted chamber for the rules. The most important rules were would. The night. He did not feel the slightest un- theset- s o f 41 pieces _ _ - _ _ .. I easiness, but nevertheless, just as a mat- "How to accept a proffered cigar— Slip id w ith Y O U R I N I T I A L I N P U R E G O L D , m aking the w h ole set the prid eand ter of precaution, he took to bed with the right hand into the box, draw forth joy o f every housekeeper fortunate enough to possess It. ___ __ ____ __ __ „ . Y O U C A N W I N T H I S P R I Z E A N D IT W O N 'T C O S T Y O U A C E N T . W c are (nviiw him a revolver of the latest American two, place one absently in the upper the dishes aw ay F R E E for a very little effort. Think how nice to have this din ner set in y o w P«}tern. pocket of the vest, insert the other be china closet! T nink how p r o u d you can fe e l to have them on your table w hen com pan y comes! lle slept peacefully enough until the tween the lips, look inquiringly around 4 2 P ie c e G old M o n o g ra m clock struck two. when he awoke with for a light. D in n er Set c a n be yours if J a v a c t u pon this offer pr o m ptl y . an unpleasant feeling of oppression. He "How to leave a room properly— Open This set is just as shown in the illustration. This dain tily decorated, embellished, gold raised his head and peered about him. the door, place one foot over the sill. initial dinner aet. olaharately decorated with w ild roses w ith green leaves and foilage. everm The room was illumined by the full moon follow it up closely with the other foot, piece trimmed cwm poid, the next thing to H aviland china, which term ned by multi and in that weird, bluish light he thought and then, tam ing slightlv, shut the door, millionaires, equal te a set costing many dollars in your local stores—this P R IZ E P R E M IU M is Y O U R S for a Tittle o f yrmr tenure time. Your initial in co i d is pat «m as show* atmve. Tins he discerned a white band clasping the "How to accept • dinner invitation— dinner set win be the pride o f jronr home and you can W I N it easily by a little pleasant effort. rail at the foot of the bed. Eat a light breakfast and no lunch. An Extra Free Present for Promptness. Act promptly . p — <*«r and "W ho's there?” he asked tremulously How to accept an invitation to drink— W I N A N O T H E R P R IZ R a beautiful ® P IE C E S IL V E R P L A T E D T E A S C T -e a n a n tin « There was «o reply, The white hand Look careless. Say. ‘Don’t care if I do,’ o f at* t t H p o M . a n o r "ItrH and a batter k n i f « h .ntfm m H y plated w ith casa flitter. did not move Y « a can «a n ly w ia M O T H o f t h e m ra la a h l« prises. O n . lady w r i t « : “ I aa, te ry marti and fix the gaxe on the other side of the plcaaad wtOi my priac «at . H i m re rv mark 1-Orr th a n I r r r r r r p r r lr d im m i . Any « * * eaa • » « Who's there ?" he repeated. “ Answer room while the liquor is being poured Far thrm t e p ra W loot In f at t t w t e t l rrrw in d that thcra a r» a . cheap a r t v le . p a ta a t by you or I'll shoot." into the glass. This will assure you a foil t w O a r tarty w iitea: Rorciaad p r ite art O. K. Am t e lT m a r t »iea ard with It. I t im m n rh Again there was no reply. ----—— portion. ” Snook- cantioasly raised himself, took * a r t f r K B T A rir o i g c a n ' szc b w i B o ra T O SE careful aim and fired. BEAUTIFUL PRIZES JUST LIKE THESE LADIES DID. From that night on he’s limped. Shot HOW TO G E T THESE PRIZES. off two of his own toes. A kina old gentleman, seeing a small Just fill In carefully the coupon below and send it to me. and I w ill take pleasure in writing yon just what to do. I have such a s p le n d i d , lib e r a l proposition to make to j od ttiat I know boy who was carrying a load of news you will be delight to have a chance to get an e le g a n t hcautifulb ri* nroatni 4 2 n I C I papers. said, "Don't all those papers G O L D M O N O G R A M D I N N E R S E T and th « H A N D S O M E T E A S E T P L A T E D The usual large crowd was gathered at make yon tired, irrv boy?” W IT H C O IN S IL V E R when you see how easily it ran be alone. _ ^ _ B E A R I N M IN D thane tw o Prises are free. Don't forget that w e giv e T W o G r a n d P r iz e the New York end of the Brooklyn "Naw, I don't read "’em,' replied the P re m iu m s instead o f one. and that as soon as w e g et the ooupoq w e soad jr mi tw o beautiful Bridge waiting for trolley ears. An lad. richly colored P IC T U R E S aod a act o f elderly lady, red m the face, flustered, and free. Don't delay. W rite a t fnssy. dag bar elbows into convenient I f . A. J omksdv . Mgr.. W a rre «. Pa. f f f f l COUPON. D ate---------------- - — ribs, irrespective of owners. Door Sir — I would like to seewre a «2 P IE C E C O L D M O N O G R A M D I N N E R S E T end A fat man on her left was the re Weary WUlie (reading ad.)— Man A H A N D S O M E S IL V E R P L A T E D • P IE C E 1 E A S E T . Please send me full parttrotam. cipient of a particularly vicious jab. She wanted to chop wood, bring up co®!, yelled at him. "Say!" Nan tend furnace, take care of garden, mind _ He winced slightly and moved to one rhickens, and children----- side. She, too side-stepped and thumped Frayed Fagin (groaning)— Gee! den ‘ M b o r « M ote — T h is Arm m i s H t e k amd w itl d * im V h e y ' ò h e r t t e . h tm viciously on the back tatrimonia! advertisements made mt "Say!” she pers sled, "does it mske tired.— Judge Boy s and G irls S P L E N D ID P R IZE !
