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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 31, 1902)
TJW UIQ.FIQTCD MAN.
Oil, here's to (ho man with n tinml llkn a
Ami n fist IikI in l.lv
Vu the big, iiimily eluip, ho , UauUvr nr
Owning rnllrond. fir jlrlvlinr n tirt
To lint innii wliu looks sloiullly alrulght
in jour eyea
And glvi-n J mi n grip llkn n vise
I IK'll lui'li li a decided long mIimii, unci) fur
mat llieytl rntlier l.u mini limn Imi
IIu inn; hmo n skull llkn Ilia crust of the
Allll It Jaw Ilka 1 1., 1 'IVrrll.M T.irlf.
IIU lunula limy have anruiui uii llm helvu
in n pick,
Or ill aoTiiii olln-r mniilnl work!
Hut lila linirt you'll flml good na n nugget
Ami 'twill nlwnya ho fnllliful t" you
Tlii'ii hern's in Hiu mill wllli n linml llku
And n auul tlmt la loyal nml trim.
Ho limy not bu versed In llm dining
J lit niny iniwr hnvo donned n dress
Hut liu will ttnud fnat while you'ro true
to your Iruati
Your linnor he'll never dispute,
Kor lin'a J nut tlui friend Hint will Unlit to
Till there's no further nan to resist
(Iml lili'aa lilin, llila limn with tliu linlii)
like n li n in.
And n lirnrl -Jimt na big fil.
I,oa Angolea Herald,
AUOI.YN VllltNIJT trim of Hint
. unlcr of women to whom llii'lr
iiiliiilrcrH nru wont to apply such
ndJoellvcH liu "regul," ".uiignlllcciit,"
Mnny lovers sought to win her, nml
innny wero disappointed wlieii rtunur
nnnounoi-d her oiigngoincnl to young
To Ui sure, rrnnk wns hnndsomu nil
n Prince nml brilliant na to wit nml
tnlcnla, wns ioor, Imilu't oven "expoc
tntlona." Early orphnncd of both lila parents,
lio was educated for llio law by n rich
uncle, who Hindu It uihIiThIihmI Hint
education wn nil tin lui'nnt to glvo
Ilia presumptive livlr wns another
nephew, 1'rnuk'a cotialn.
Well, tlii-ai) considerations lint! their
weight with Miss Vcrnot, nml sho lind
hesitated before accepting tho young
lawyer. Imt hi nltrnctloii of mind nml
lcrsoii proved too much for her world
ly wladoin, nml It wna nn engngemcnt.
Only alio nllpulnted Hint It should ho
no moru until l'rnnk should huvu sulll
clrnt lu'coiuu to support her In good
Of couriu. Frank mmt needs go
nwny to seek lila fortune liu went to
Murom-. Thcru wna n tender parting
liotwceti tlio lovers, nt which Cnrolyn
wna tearful nml despondent Trunk
bravo nml hopeful.
"Don't think of my absence, denrcat,"
ho urged cheerfully. "Think of tho
time when I ahull return with n for
tuno to offer you,"
"Ilcturn when you will, Frank." sob
Ih'iI Carolyn, "you shall find mo true.
I will wnlt for you faithfully."
l'rnnk Hernia went tu Kuropo, nml
for n month Carolyn wna Inconsolable.
However, tlila did not Inat long, nml
nt tho vud of n innuth Carolyn tint! no
fnr recovered from her grief na to nc
cept un luvltntlou to lira. Do Smith's,
Al thnt aolreo alio met Albert ltendc,
Hint fortunntu coualn of Prank's.
Mr. Kendo wna n rntlier Kood looklni;
yimiiK innn. Hh it Kitw ut oncu Hint ho
wna tieatlneil to Itvcouut her adorer, lle
aldea hu wna l'rank'H coualn -reaHou
I'IiourIi why alio aliuuld llko him,
Htlll alio did tint upvak to him of
l'rnnk; neither did Mr. Itendo nlludo to
lila coualn, hut Albert wni Ignorant of
Mlaa Vernol'H vni;nKenient to Trunk,
He bvEnu from their flrat meeting to
tlvroto hlinaelf to her, nml Mlaa Vemet,
not being blind, camtclnlly to auch at
'trntlona, did not mlatnko It, yet alio
tl lil not dlacourngo him.
And when occnalonnlly alio henrd
aomo comment from "aoclety" not II at-
turlnc to her constancy alio wild Indig
nantly: "Of courae alio mini go nbout with
aomo one, nml who could bo n moro
proper escort thnn Trunk' coualn?"
Ho alio continued to "go nbout" with
Atliert ltendc. Of course, you see tho
aeijuel. Cnrolyn loved Trnnk. Under
tho fnaclnntlon of hla presence alio hnd
yielded her aeltlnliupaa, but now thnt
he wna cone, worldllncaa hnd resumed
Ui away, nml ambition began to bur.
Boat thnt Albert wan a better match
"Society," that nstuto nnd consider
nto body, hnd Ions forcHcca tho oreut
nnd wns uot In tho least surprised
when Miss Vcrnet authorized tho In
formation that sho wns soon to mnrry
Albert Itendo, and society thought it a
And Carolyn married Albert Hondo.
They went to live with Undo Jenkins,
who envo thoa brldo n set of diamonds
nnd did the linndsomo thing generally,
nnd somebody wns good enough to send
to Trahk In Kuropo n paper containing
tho ninrrlago notice. What a crushing
blow to all his hopes thnt notice was
ho novcr told nuy one. Ho did not re
turn home, nnd society wns left to for
got or remember him as It would.
It choso to remember him, for Cnro
lyn, riding on a ferryboat nbout two
years after her marriage, heard a lady
a'nd gentleman nt her sldo conversing
"I supposo Maria told yau nbout her
friend Trnnk Hondo's good fortune?"
nucrlcd the lndy.
"No. Wmt nbout him? I under
stnnd thnt ho wns rntlier uufortunuto
at ouo time."
"You mean alwut his engagement io
that Miss Vlnceut, was It I suppose.
Yes, ho did tako her Inconstancy bad
ly, Maria nays. Thoy suy sho wns a
great beauty, nnd men are. silly nbout
tt, protty face begglug your pnrdou,
' "drnnted," laughed tho gentleman.
"Well, you It now, ns, soon ns ho wns
safely out of the way sho married a
rich man, some, relation to Trunk
Ilcado, I bellovo,"
"Yesj I havo beard nil nbout that"
UNITED STATES MARINE
TIIIl MMtlNK IIOHI'ITAf. AT CIIICUOO.
Uncle Hum enres well for the unllor who pursuo their collluir under th flnif
of the tjiilled Htntea, Ami not only does lm look nflcr tliu old "Imya" who
iiiUKht tint lluita linlllra, hut tlmao if
rquiil leliilfriiMa. Tor more II11111 n itlitury the United Hlstcs gorfrnnient hna
iiiiilutalneil n liuaiiltnl service nml .iminlnl oarluina for alck and d aahled innrln
era, Trimi n service eatnlillahi'il hi ITIIH
mill building has grown n ehnln of perfectly Appointed luispltnls, There nru two
iiiaiiuet liraiiclira tho nnvy, or UkIiIIiik fiirce, nml Hie inerelinnt, or commercial
lleela. Of twenty auch himpltula clovuted to tho latter, Chicago haa tho principal
Tim United Htntea marine hoapllnl In tint northern aubiirb of Chicago, mi thu
ahum of I. iikn Mlehlgiin, la the beat appointed, heat eifulpped nml beat aiilled of
nuy almilnr lii'tlt ntluii lu Hie country. Ileru any aeaiiiiin who enn ahow n crrllll
cale proving service on n vesael Hying tho American ling for sixty till previous
lo application may, If III, obtain mliulaaloii. Or, If even nfler only one day'
service iiliniird n veel II) lug llm Htars nml Klrlpea he la Injured In Ida line of duty
hn la entitled to cam nml treatment. It la not n home. In tho sense Hint one may
enter nnd remain there linldliiltely. When thu Inmate rnjulrea no further meill
enl treatment h must leave. Oilier lucea nru provided fur nged and liillrm sen
mm, hut theaa hoapltnls ant for luvulida.
The doors of Iheait liiatllulloua are uot closed to men of foreign vessels, either.
lent nru received arnmeii nnd uruVcra
nml llfe-savlug service and the nllled
uot inndu for their enm flsewhcnt. There nro treated nnnunlly In the marine
hospllal service over OO.IHJO cases, i liesc illspeliaarles nre mnlntalneil In nil sea
nnd hike port towns of nuy tlio throughout the country.
Tim structure In tjueslloii Is tlio second of Its kind built In Chicago. It -vas
completed In 1H73 nt n cost of over VMS). The sandstone building Is nbout
.'1(H) feet long, US) fret deep nml Hired stories high. Klnce Its completion n modem
operntlug npinhltlieater has li en ndded at n coat of (10,0(10.. Turther ndillllnns of
11 laundry, stnhlcs, laolnllon wnrd nml dlaliifecllng clinuihers have been maju
cosllng f .'l.'i.(XK). The nverngo expense to the government for maintaining tho
iiinriuu hospital In Chicago l nhnut Hi'i.lKK) nnnunlly. Including the down-town
illapensnry where "out relief' Is ud.irded about 3,000 pntlenta nra cured for
"Well, now cornea the sequel. Trnnk
wynt to Hwltzerlnnd on aomo wild
gooso chase, nnd while there saved the
life of n certain rich, benevolent, child
less gentleman. Well, (he benevolent
old gentleman luslsted 011 taking his
brnvo young preserver homo to Un
gland with blm. Then he adopted him,
mid now he hna capped tho illinax by
lying nnd leaving hla Immense fort unit
unconditionally to Trnnk. Now, won't
Hint be n bitter pill to the faithless
Cnrolyn heard no more, but she had
henrd enough, nnd Inter the story hnd
plenty of Cbnllrmntlon. It wns n bitter
pill to her. Hut the worst wns not yet.
In the course of nnturu Uncle Jen
kins died nnd wns burled, and Ills law
yer came to rend the will to the heir
presumptive. With serene satisfaction
Mr. nml Mrs. Itendo listened to the
"1 give nnd hcqucnth to my nephew.
Albert Hende, nil the property of which
I tlio Kssessed, nmonntlng "
Here, the lawyer paused to wlpo his
"Amounting to 5,000. Invested In
That was all. Uncle Jenkins' appar
ent wealth had been nil n sham, nnd
Carolyn hail sold herself for W.OOOI
fihu hud lost uot only n true, loving
heart, tint whnt wns uf more value n
princely fortune. Chicago Tribune.
FATHER OF THE TRUSTS.
Tho OrcMt lliiiliicua Venturra (Irunn-
litil lr Onirics l(. I'lliil.
Ono of tho mot t nctlvo men In the
business life of New York la Chnrlivt
It, I'llnt, who la generally known na
the "fnthcr of tho
trusts," nnd the
P e r f o r in nnce of
whose yacht, the
.Vrrow, In travel
ing nt the rate of
over forty- four
miles nu hour, tins
brought him Into
ence Mr. I'llnt Is 0110
of tho few holders
C.IAI.LI ... KUNT of grcnt fortll.e,,
In tho United Htntea who has drawn
nearly all their money, not from their
countrymen, but fro... foreigners. Ills
vast fortune has been accumulated al
most wholly In tho South American
trnde. IIu Is nlso ono of tho fow Amer
ican millionaires whoso efforts to no
tu.milnto money have not wrecked his
health. This Is very lnrgcly duo to
tho constant care of his wife. It Is
Mrs. Tllnt, not his business associates,
THE OLDEST THRONE IN EUROPE.
What; Is probably the oldest throne. In Europo has Just been discovered and
laid bare. This remarkable and surprising tlnd waa nccomplUhcd by the llrltlsh
archaeologist ami explorer, Arthur Kvnns, at Knossos, on the Island ot Crete,
The mnln feature of Ills last season's work was the uncovering of the original
gypsum throne used by King Minos In his great palace, now being excavated,
Mlnot, n will bo remembered, was tho s in of Zeus, the Hrst law-glvcr of Orccce,
who Is styled the Cretan Moses, who every ulno years repaired to Hie cave of
Zeus ami received from tliu immortal god of thu mountains the laws for his
people. Hero from the gypsum thronu more than -1,000 years ago King MluOs read
his laws to hla subjects. The most interesting of all the chambers exposed waa
the spacious throne-room. The walls w'ore elaborately decorated with frescoes,
which hnvo established a new epoch In tho history of painting for that early
period, as little ot the kind, oven of the classical Orook antiquity has befii hith
erto kuown earlier (hail tho Ponipellnn scries.
Tlio colors were almost as brilliant as whea laid down moro than -1,000 years
ago. Hound the wnlls ot the throne-room were found low stone benches, and
between these, separated by a small Interval and raised on a stone base, stood
the great gypsum throne, with a high bark and coloicd with decorated designs.
Its lower part was adorned with a curiously carved arch, with crotcbctcd mold
ings, showing nn extraordinary anticipation of aome most characteristic of Gothic
archltecti.ro. Hero truly waa the council chamber of King Minos and bis sover
eign lady, It may bo said to day that tho youngest ot Europcau rulers (Trine
George) as high coniuilstloucr ot Crete hui lu his dominions tho oldest throne lu
HOSPITAL AT CHICAGO.
tint inerelinnt marine nra cnnil fur wltli
nml eotialatlnir of a few enuiloyea nml
of foreign ships, nlao of tho revenue cutter
lirnliches of the nnvy, where provision Is
who dictates hi hours of labor, recre
ation and rest. Hhu decides how lung
ho may renin In In his olllce, whnt and
when he must eat, how long and In
what way he ahull piny, nml when nnd
how long he ahull sleep. Their social
nciunlutnnco Is, of course, very large,
but such merry-iunkltig ns they ntteml
must begin nml end early In the even
ing. It Is said Hint Mr. Flint la never
outside his own home later thnn 10
o'clock at night. Mr. 11 In t Is n prod
net of Maine, having been born at
A WOMAN MINEn'8 PLUCK.
Work Herself nt the Hard ami Dun-
A story comes from Arizona which
shows what can be accomplished by
the energy nnd determination which
often lies beneath the fnlr exterior of
u woman's frame. Mrs. John Kny lives
uenr Klngmnn, Ariz. She has n bus
band mid n family of children. Her
husbnml Is n hard-working man, but
his earnings barely sufllco for the dally
necessities of tho family, and several
years ago she decided thnt sho would
engage In mining for herself.
Hho had no money to pay for thcJ
development of her claim, but she hnd
n pair of tender, but willing, lmnds nud
nrms, nnd did not hesitate to sacrifice
their beauty and mar their fair proper
Hons In the effort to provide n future
for her family. Hho took Hie drill and
hammer In her own hands, nnd, with
Infinite patience, wrought the holes In
the rock, says Ores nml Metals. Sho
cut the fuse, hit the cap, tamped the
charge, went back Into tho smoke to
look for re u Its, nnd wheeled out tho
muck, nnd kept up this work for years,
l'rogress was slow, for she washed
and linked nnd made nnd hemmed for
her children, but there wns no thought
of failure In her mind, and no dream of
rest until It I'ail been earned.
A few weeks since her reward onma
As she went Into tho tunnel after a
round of shots she found big chunks
of ore literally plastered with horu nnd
native silver, assays running nt high ns
?.'!,000 to the ton. The vol.. Is opened
nml Is rich, nud now she Is superin
tending with n force of men taking out
wealth for her. Washington Times,
Anil tlio Htar-H Wlnkeil.
'You any tho evening wore on. What
did It wear?"
"Why, tho closo of day, of course."
Cms In Switzerland.
Swiss ornithologists declare that cats
hnvo become so numerous In Switzer
land ns to threaten tho extermination
of nil birds of tho country.
THE SPRINTING: ROACH.
How Ibf Ant rinjrrd Upon IIU Weak
nen nml Won,
Once upon n time there was n roach
lived In a boh) In the wall next door
to a wise old mil. Now It happened Hint
the ant did not llko the roneh and would
gladly huvu murdered hi 111 but for the
roach's size nml grout strength, which
iiindo thu ant 110 ma toll for blm In n con
lest of strength.
The ant placed poison at the roneh'.
door, but the roach was wnry nnd nte
It not. One evening, when the lndy of
the housu came Into the room to look
for roaches, the nut called upon tho
ouch to come out of his hole, hoping
tin; lady would kill nun, but the roneh
1 1 en id her footsteps mid kept close.
Next the nnt tried to comjHias tho de
struction of the roach by daring him to
climb up tho sldo of the wall, hoping
that the roach would fall from n great
height nnd break his neck. The roach
however, refused to climb.
Now It happened Hint the roneh wns
n great sprinter mid was very proud
of his nullity to get over the ground In
a hurry. The nut chanced to think of
this, mid going to the roneb, challenged
Mill to n footrace. The roneh ncceptetl
tho challenge nt oncu mid slated that
ho could run faster with his front feet
tied thai, nny bandy legged nnt In the
wholu house. The nnt selected the spot
whero the foot rnce was to bo run
which wns ncross n yellow sheet of pn
per on the window sill. Hither both the
nnt nml the ranch went and halted nt
the edge of the sheet of paper.
Aro you rendy f cried the roneh.
I am!" shouted the ant.
(Jo!" yelled the roach, nnd with that
started across the sheet of paper nt a
dreadful pace, (inly to fall down mid
stick fast In n nnuscou mire ere he hnd
gone two Inches. The nnt did not start
at nil, for well ke knew that the rnco
course was across n sheet of llypuper.
Moral: There Is n weak spot In ev
ery man's nnnor If you can but II nd It.
Ohio Htntc Journal.
There are few persons who can tell
olT hand Just wlinl lmsltlons Hiey ns
si.u.u to Invite sleep, mid yet there Is
not nn Imllvldunl lu the world who has
not some trick of distributing limbs
and trunk to ensure slumber's bliss
ful spell which no practices uncon
sciously. Tills Is n night habit, ns per
petual and Immutable under normal
conditions ns the succession of the
seasons. No sooner nrc we really off
to the Land of Nod than the night
habit asserts Its dominion. Our hands
mid nrms seek the mine parts of the
boil or the samo portions of our bodies
upon which they bnve nightly resteil
since Infancy, our feet nnd legs stretch
nt the same nngles or loosely entwine
In comfortable relaxation, as command
eil by unconscious will.
It Is seldom of our own deliberate
volition that we place our bodies In
IHwItlon for sleep, ns you will And to
night on going to bill If you remember
these words. In truth. If you do not
seek to combat tho Instincts you will
be surprised at tho dispositions of U10
vyrlous members Involuntarily made.
If you endeavor to go to sleep by n
new nrrnugeme.it of the body you will
so be surprised ly the revolt ngalnst
slumber wlilcn will surely ensue, but
ven before the struggle Is well be
gun you will probably surrender, nnd
permit tho nil masterful night hnblt
to reinstate those little details of posi
tion which long practice has made nec
essary to your comfort.
Kierclso null Hating.
A good dinner nt night Is necessary
for Uioso whose pleasure or work keeps
them up very late. Hut for ordinary
folk who dine nt 0 or 7 and go to bed
nl...itt ia.oi ...... it ... .i..i...n...Mn rnln tn tmilnratn rwl n-Khmtt (lio nlil
"JUL 1U.OU Jill U 1 IK II L llUlfJHJlllU
past should be taken at the end of
the tiny, when muscles nnd nerves nre
more or less exhausted.
A "tlrctl stomach is n weak stomach"
Is n golden rule to remember. Yet how
often one hears people say, "I've been
rushlug about nil day nnd am tired to
oath; I jnust have n big meal to make
up for Itl" You may put the big meal
Into the stomach, but you cannot make
he stomach digest It.
a uenei lives strong in tlio Hearts
nnd mTfids of tho majority of mankind.
Including persons of weak ingestions.
thnt a quick, brisk walk taken before
meal gets up an appetite And helps
tho stomach to digest tho food. Now,
ilils Is exactly what it doesn't do. Ex
ercise sprends tho blood through the
body. Tor the proper digestion of food
the blood Is needed lu tho stomach.
Tow realize this Important fact
After a long, exhausting wnlk, bicy
cle spin or any severe physical or men
jtnl strain take n good half hour's rest
In n comfortable nnn-chalr or lying on
'A sofa before you eat a substantial
An Important Question.
Civil service examinations nre some
times tho source of no llttlo nnn.se
meut. In New York there wns recently
n test of candidates for the position
ot park grass cutter. The first paper
tlio examiner picked up contained this
question nud answer:
"What nro tho cubical contents of n
room fifteen feet long, ten feet wldo
nud eight foot high."
"One bedstead, n bureau and n wash,
stand. If such n room was a kitchen
or a parlor, It would bo larger and eon.
tul.i moro articles."
Hero Is another question and an
swer: "What Is tlio dlffcrenco between
tl.reo feet square nnd three square
"It could not be."
At this uioment tho examiner wns
Interrupted In his work by n big man
who opened tho olllce door juid until:
"Do you know anything about civil
"A little," replied tho examiner.
"Well," continued tho visitor, "I
wont to know whero Tut McCaim
stands on tho old mowing list"
"And how many nro there nheiul of
Glnoiors In Montana.
But fow peoplo nro nwaro that Uiero
aro In Montana so.no of tho finest gla
ciers In tho world.
lCIeotrlo ltouils In Switzerland,
Electric railways nro rapidly dis
placing tho old-fushloued diligences In
I o A n X
V- Si MS '
IOrd Koscbery onco sat next to n
farmer nt his estatu dinner, and the
conlldlng n.nn whispered to thu host,
when the Ice middlmr wns brought:
"Tho iiuddlmr linn Hin frozen." Tho
ex-I'remler, flinnklng the farmer, and j ,e Impressed, although more bcwll
looklng surprised, called to n wnlter, dt-,rc'. u' Kllttcrlng nnd mighty mi
snld something, nnd then, turning to pnrltlon. Ho gnve ono look, eyes nnd
the former ngnln, said: "They tell mo
tho pudding has been frozen on uur-
When the fretful critic, Cumberland,
snld of n performance of "Tho School
for Scandal" that ho wns surprised
that It provoked such Immoderato
laughter, as It did not make bin. even
smile, Hherldnn, tho wit, orator, nnd
playwright, Is snld to havo remarked
"rt,i...,i...i 1. .,i- ,,.i,.i
I saw n tragedy of his played a fort
night before nt Coveut Onrdcn, and I
lainbed from i.nnim, t ..ml."
" " "
Tim ritlinf flnv nn Inmilamvi Iniiv
........ d i -
wns iniKing wun J nines vviiiicomu in-
, lM". 7..
.rs.o oi ...era ore. I ui. i.r. iw.ey.
for complaining. You must be n very
.,... iiiuu. i uiiui-raiuuii juu tvi u uu.-
t- i - . -...
" ' nuiU 1 UI fill JUL. nillC
le-e-cs, mndmn," snld Hllcy, with his
11.1' ,'l... . ...... I ... r.. T mI nil
o. .., Ut ximciimc. . .
day and can't think of n d n word.1
A photographer who arrived nt Oy
tcr Hay tho other day nsked permis
sion to take somu views. The Presi
dent was amiable, and told him: "You
nru welcome to photograph anything
you like, except my wife and children,
but If I catch you doing that I'll throw
you off the place." Those nro the or-
tiers to the secret-service men. They
nre nuthorlzed to permit kodakers to
shoot at nuythlng they see except Mrs.
lloosovelt nnd the children.
A New York rltihmnn. irlioio renu-
tiiilon na ii ,n-..iio.i ntoi immfTprnlilB
bore wns a byword, wns onco attempt-
lug to Impress n group of men ns be-
lug n society pet "What n hospitable
fellow Illnuk Is," ho said, naming ono
of New York's cleverest men; "1 drop-
ed in on him the other night, nnd be
and his wife fairly Insisted that I stay
for dinner. Such a tltnu ns I hnd get
ting away I Why, when I started to
leave, they came right out In the hall
and backed up against the front door."
ftcr you'd g-g-gonc out?" sarcastic
ally Inquired one of bis wearied listen-
,uieerB is generally reganieu a
.nn n. .
nn -1o...m. ....1
his grief. They found in his trunk "a
guide through Turkey," and confls-
cated It The next morning the Uae-
ticker was returned to the German,
but with more than a hundred pages.
containing a description of Constant!
noplc, torn out The traveler went to
the censor's olllce to complain of this
Inexplicable treatment of his book.
llut the censor explained to blm, with
Irresistible logic, that an accurate de-
scrlptlon of Constantinople could not
be suffered, since a knowledge of the
locality was calculated to facilitate an
nttcmpt on the. Sultan's life.
SLANQ OF OUR COLLEGES.
utereatlna Array of Barbarlsma that
Onljr btudeut. Can Interpret.
In an article on college slang Pres
ident Thwlng of tho Western Iteserve
university presents an interesting array
of words which the laymen would try
of a teacher or a glossary. Different
languages, he says, have different
words and phrases, "and a few words
and phrases are common to many, such
as 'swipe, 'soak,' 'spike,' 'Josh,' 'hen
medic,' 'goose egg,' 'grlng,' "crib, and
many others Indeed. But thcro are
other words that arc used only at a
few colleges. A student, for Instance,
In one college may 'bat' (make a per
fect recitation) and may sit In a 'bear
box' (the faculty pew In chapel). On
going from church he mny become n
'belt chaser,' walking with a 'coed' and the point of a needle?" was onco charm
going to his dinner he has n 'berry' Ingly answered by tho late Dr. Tal
(a good thing). In tho afternoon he mage. The Philadelphia Times tells
prepares himself for 'bib' (that Is, for
recitation In the bible). It Is possible
that tho 'belt chaser' walks with a 'bird'
(a girl) to the 'bird cage" (a dormitory
for women students). It Is also possible
that the 'bird' may bo a 'birdie' (ono
who Is eager to make acquaintance I
with men without nn Introduction),
He may prefer to call his walk n
pike,' and nlso he mny prefer to walk turning home late, and I noticed a light 1 gj,- pityingly; "why didn't you fore
with a 'plugger rather than with a In tho window of a room where a poor I gtal, hlm by gettlug an Injunction to
bird,' and while walking to talk about I
'polek' (political economy) or 'polst'
"A student may be a 'moke' (an easy-
going fellow), and In that caso he Is
apt to bo 'porky' (very poor) In bis I
works, nnd consequently gets a 'zip
(a zero lu marks), and Is In danger of
bolng 'rusticated' (suspended). Of
course, ho must become a 'repeater'
(ono required to repent a year's work),
If be hopes ever to get his 'rag (diplo
ma). If the man Is an 'olio (n good stu
dent) he will probably get the reputa
tion of being a 'whalo' (a phenomenal
student), In caso ho 'bones' (studies)
hard nnd 'poles' (prepares a lesson by
HE CREATED A 8EN8ATION.
Town's Flrat Uniformed Policeman'
Cauae of Wonder anil Terror,
Tho old Inhabitants of towns aro fond
of exchanging reminiscences ot early
days. This wns the enso recently lu a
smnll New England city and one of
the matters recalled was tho establish,
ment of Its police department. The
force was small In number, but of Its
mnmiiem wns nlmnst n r. nnt in nl I
lx feet four nnd a naff Inches tall
and broadly built There chanced to
bo a hitch about tbo delivery of iho
m uniform... r that nniv m. wna
rocelved promptly aud the Goliath of
tno rorce siaincu lonn in uis spienuor
Naturally he created n sensation. As
ho patrolled tho long winding street
that run tho whole length of tho place
there wero mnny comments upon his if bo wero really bright ho'd only have Browno-So ho bod. but his wifo fix
pcrsonnl appearance, most ot which to think a little bit to get onto himself. C(j that In three months nfter their
wero discreetly uttered after ho had Philadelphia Press. i,mrrium.iiiiin.i,.iniiin Pi-oaa.
passed out of hen ring. At length, how-
over, n shambling, shabby, sly-eyed
crack-wilted ne'er-do-well stepped up
and touched the gorgeous llguro on the
"Hny, mister," he whispered humbly,
"tell me the safest law to brenk nud
I'll break It for the honor of walking
uown Main street with then, buttons!'
Tho Information requested was not
vouchsafed and the giant marched on
In his buttons and his dignity. Hut
llttlo farther along n smnll boy who
wns playing In the front yard was no
mourn ni uieir roumicsi, mm men tlnsli
" "moors, crying 10 111s nioiner:
"Oh, mamma, look I look I la ho war
or tho circus?"
Kvcn after ho hnd become a fnmlllar
figure to the citizens tho huge gnrdlnn
of the pcaco retained somo of his lm
presslvcness. To ono prisoner nt lenst
ho so emlKxlled tho terrors of the Inw
thnt tho man submitted to nn arrest
n few words of explanation a
-,...1.1 I ...t !M.-..
tiiuv IIUIB lltl-Ilt-U. 1 llUJIi
" nl cn"' l"'n' lnc
Ju5(''e '"".""red In astonishment why he
I (nil nnl , nnn 1,,. . U.nlll.. 1
inpniiniitr n, n I hnhn. ti.a n r-.... -
"Well, Judge, It's like tills: You're
oIk). but (or IIunkcr ,,, mon
urnont with a helmet on top. ho mny
,)0 , flrBt.rato ,iand.cum. macMnCi but
i. .,, . ,.,,.,. ,., ..,
...u... ' ' i'i.i"j
I .el 11. h m V -, f,, .1 1..
nf .-vi. , ,',, , r .,. ,. ,
I . '
.... fl ( .
Trail o In Ilabblt Skins.
The Kngtlsh rabbit skin trade Is ono
of Interest to Americans, according to
n rejiort made to tho State Depart-
ment by United States Consul Hal
I stead at Illrmlngham. "Instead," he
says, "of being sent to certain parts of
the European continent where for n
grent mnny years rabbit skins Intend
I ed ultimately for American use have
undergone n process known ns pulling
I n few bales of these skins were shlp-
I0'' Inst winter, experimentally, direct
from Illrmlngham to the United States,
" WM ""ugnt. n snipper told me, mat
we ha1 Produced a new machine In
u' Unltc1 states whlcu Pu out
tno IonS ualr ot rabblt ka at leM
" luan " lue exiremeiy cnenp nanu
labor of the continent I learn that the
machine experiment was not a success,
and I know the English dealers who
were Interested In the American ven
ture are again sending their skins to
the continent where the long, useless
hairs are laboriously pulled out by
hand and the skins reshlpped to hat
manufacturers In the United States,
wl,M nl,n.n a ft . I. l.nU nn,t aA
this fur to make felt hats.
"Millions of rabbits. Drltlsh nnd Aus-
nnmin nni.r. nhn .tit,.
frm ,, M,, .,, n,,
wuere rabblt8 ro dcessed !n houge.
holds there Is. ns a perquisite, a penny
nnlprB to thn .,. n nirmlnhhrn
dealer tells me he handled 3.000,000
rabbit skins last year.'
The Astonishing Trade In Bulbs.
The man with the little garden walks
round the public park and sees cro-
cuscs" and daffodils, hynclnths'nnd tu
Hps by the thousand. He understands
I they are Imported direct from Holland
by very large users of the bulbs. It Is
nn nstoundlng trade as so measured
nnd taken as an example of what oth
ers do in tho same lino, as tradesmen
say. Take the Japanese trade, which
comes next In Importance to the Dutch.
During last season eighty tons of lily
roots wero sold, and this amounts In
numbers to about 3,000,000. Hut this
Is nothing to the Dutch trade. If we
take tho same basis of weight nnd
numbcrB as ,n tno Japanoso instance.
The average sale Is sixty tons per
week, which Is In numbers about 2,500,-
000. Tho season lasts about four
months sixteen weeks so that In
weight DGO tons nro sold; nnd this
amounts In numbers to the almost In-
credlblo sum of 40,000,000. Saturday
A Double Point.
The old question of the scholastics,
How many nngels are supported on
how. Some theological students were
laughing over the question when In the
company of Dr. Tnlmage.
"Well," said he, "how many do you
As no one answered, ho went on with
"I'll tell you five. Let mo prove It to
you. One very stormy night I was re-
woman lived whose husband was at
sea. I wondered what kept her up so
late, and I went to sea. I found her
hard at work sewing by her lamp, while
her Ore rosy children were sound asleep
near her. There was a needle support-
Ing Ave nngels."
The venerable Bishop Williams of !
r ..,,,1 ifi y n
Connecticut for many years presiding
Bishop of the Episcopal church In
America, and who lived all his life a
bachelor, was talking one day with a
young man from tho West about a pos
sible tax a Western Stute was trying
to Imposo on bachelors, tho tax to bo
Increased a certain per cent for every
ten years of bachelorhood.
"Why, Bishop," Bald tho young man.
'at your ago you would havo to pay
about $100 n year."
Well," said tho Bishop, quietly, nnd
In his old-time vernacular, "It's wuth
It," New York Times.
America's Costliest lnseot.
Tho chinch bug has been called the
costliest Insect In America. It has
during a single season, a uug Hardly I
visible to the , naked eyo nnd which '
will prov do 500 offspring Is dilUcult to
and Its offensive odor pro-
tccts It from other Insects which might
Towno Ho docs think an awful lot
of himself, that's a fact; but bo cor
taluly la bright
Browne What a ridiculous snecehl
Homo automobiles can (ravel ono
hundred miles without being repaired,
If they aro shipped by trnln.-Chlcngo
Defined: "l'npn. what Is n mnn of
ono Idea?" "Any man. my son. who
tins nn lilen Hint differs from yours.
Ho "Sho holds her ago well dosen't
she?" Sho-"Ycs. Sho doesn't look n
tiny older than sho snys sho Is." Phil
I'rcddy-'Top, when do they cnll n
won.nn an old hen?'" Tho naternnl
"When she becomes hopelessly sot In
ucr wnys, my son." Kx,
"In tho manager up-to-date?" "Ur
to-datol Wli he's Just Introduced a
game of ping-pong In tho balcony scene
in itomco nnd Jullctl' " Tlt lllls.
An nesthctlc soul: "Well, did sho
buy tho book?" "No." replied tho
clerk; "alio snld she didn't llko tho
cover design." Detroit I-'rco Press.
His soft answer: Angry mother
"Now, Hobby, don't let mo speak to
you again!" Hobby (helplessly) "How
enn I prevent you. mamma?" Boston
Wanted to know: Mrs. Stubb "They
bnve captured tho cleverest hbtcl rob
ber In the country. John." Mr. Stubb
"Indeed! Which hotel did bo run?"
He thinks of bnvlng his poems pub
lished In book-form." "Well, Hint's tho
best wny of putting them whero they
won t bother anybody." Philadelphia
He "What more enn you nsk, denr?
Hnvcn't I admitted I wns wrong nnd
humbly npologlzed?" "Well, what of
It? I havo no respect for a man who
Is thnt wenk." Life.
"The singer has mndo grent strides
In the profession, bnsn't she?" "Yes,
Indeed. Formerly, when she received
an encore, she sang; now she usually
smiles." Town and Couutry.
Mrs. Slumkln "The Wcrdey baby Is
tho picture of her fnthcr." Mr. Slum
kln "I suppose that when tho child
Is a little older she will bo the phono
graph of her mother." Judge.
Won't you try tho chicken salad.
Judge," said the boarding-house keep
er. I tried It yesterday, ma am," re
plied the witty Judge, "and tho chicken
proved-an alibi." Philadelphia Itecord.
Might be worse: Mrs. Parvenu
'And then the whole nwful story got
Into the papers." Mrs. Becntberc
"Oh. well, matters might be still worse.
It might have been dramatized."
Ostentation: "You say your next
door neighbors make a vulgar display
of their wealth?" "Yes," answered
Mr. Blckerson; "they left a ton of coal
out on the sidewalk all day yesterday."
Washington Star; " ' '
Parke "Tho other day I was In n
kind of vision, and saw my wife as
thu most iicrfcct woman In the world."
Lane "Where were you?" Parke
In an Intelligence oftlce. describing
her to a cook I was trying to engage."
Humoring his customers: Professor
on Note "Yon hnf a vine collection
off classic music here." Music dealer
"That's for young ladles to look over
previous to asking for a copy of "The
Honeysuckle und tho Bee.' "New
Exception: "This talk about Inven
tions beln' Injurious to labor Is all
nonsense." said Convict No. 151. "Why
so?" asked the guard. "Because It Is.
A patent burglar alarm wuz tho cause
me glttln' live years at bard labor."
Her pap "IV asplah tor marry mab
daughtuh, sah? Il'm. Whad am yo'r
prospec's?" Tho suitor (n widower)
Ebery single one of de pussons fo'
bom mah lato lamented wife dono
washln' fo' hab promised ter llber'ly
patcrntze her succcssah." Judge.
Ituics of success: "What Is your rule
of business your maxim?" the Wall
Street baron was nsked. "Very sim
ple," he answered; "pay for something
that I can't get with money that I
haven't got, and then sell what I never
had for more than It ever cost" Life.
Legal points: "So be got out on In
junction against your company," we
prevent tho Issuance of his Injunc
tion?" "I couldn't, you see bo was
slick enough to get out an Injunction
ngalnst my getting out an Injunction
against his Injunction!" Baltimore
"Dear," she said, during nn Interval
ot comparative sanity, "promise mo
thing." "Anything," be nnswercd
with tho recklessness of love. "After
we have been married a reasonable
time. If wo decide a divorce Is desir
able ,promlso that my brothers, who
are struggling young lawyers, shall
represent us." Philadelphia North
ltcnlly a convenience: "Skrlbblcs Is
writing a new novel, In which the hero
and heroine are deaf and dumb," ex
plains tho mutual friend. "How
queer!" comments tho other mutual
friend. "Oh, I don't know. He says
It's a great convenience. When ho gets
tired ot Inventing conversations for
them ho Just has thom hold hands for
tho rest of tho chapter, wbllo ho writes
about the scenery or tho weather."
Kite. ,! Partridges.
.,.. , ,. .
C1 rmeaus to sb p wrE rE
fca to keep hem to, shooting! The
,.,1,1 ... V .":.. " . uo
ing above them, fenrlng, doubtless, at
Towne Bankrupt, Is ho? Why, I
thought bo had a fixed Incomo of $10,