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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 31, 1902)
TJW UIQ.FIQTCD MAN. Oil, here's to (ho man with n tinml llkn a until, Ami n fist IikI in l.lv Vu the big, iiimily eluip, ho , UauUvr nr uruuge, Owning rnllrond. fir jlrlvlinr n tirt To lint innii wliu looks sloiullly alrulght in jour eyea And glvi-n J mi n grip llkn n vise I IK'll lui'li li a decided long mIimii, unci) fur nil, mat llieytl rntlier l.u mini limn Imi Mice. IIu inn; hmo n skull llkn Ilia crust of the enrlli, Allll It Jaw Ilka 1 1., 1 'IVrrll.M T.irlf. IIU lunula limy have anruiui uii llm helvu in n pick, Or ill aoTiiii olln-r mniilnl work! Hut lila linirt you'll flml good na n nugget of gold, Ami 'twill nlwnya ho fnllliful t" you Tlii'ii hern's in Hiu mill wllli n linml llku n ham And n auul tlmt la loyal nml trim. Ho limy not bu versed In llm dining ronm'i) wnys, J lit niny iniwr hnvo donned n dress ult. Hut liu will ttnud fnat while you'ro true to your Iruati Your linnor he'll never dispute, Kor lin'a J nut tlui friend Hint will Unlit to Hid will, Till there's no further nan to resist (Iml lili'aa lilin, llila limn with tliu linlii) like n li n in. And n lirnrl -Jimt na big fil. I,oa Angolea Herald, HER BLUNDER . AUOI.YN VllltNIJT trim of Hint . unlcr of women to whom llii'lr iiiliiilrcrH nru wont to apply such ndJoellvcH liu "regul," ".uiignlllcciit," "liniM-rliil." Mnny lovers sought to win her, nml innny wero disappointed wlieii rtunur nnnounoi-d her oiigngoincnl to young I-'rtuik Hondo. To Ui sure, rrnnk wns hnndsomu nil n Prince nml brilliant na to wit nml tnlcnla, wns ioor, Imilu't oven "expoc tntlona." Early orphnncd of both lila parents, lio was educated for llio law by n rich uncle, who Hindu It uihIiThIihmI Hint education wn nil tin lui'nnt to glvo l'rnnk. Ilia presumptive livlr wns another nephew, 1'rnuk'a cotialn. Well, tlii-ai) considerations lint! their weight with Miss Vcrnot, nml sho lind hesitated before accepting tho young lawyer. Imt hi nltrnctloii of mind nml lcrsoii proved too much for her world ly wladoin, nml It wna nn engngemcnt. Only alio nllpulnted Hint It should ho no moru until l'rnnk should huvu sulll clrnt lu'coiuu to support her In good style. Of couriu. Frank mmt needs go nwny to seek lila fortune liu went to Murom-. Thcru wna n tender parting liotwceti tlio lovers, nt which Cnrolyn wna tearful nml despondent Trunk bravo nml hopeful. "Don't think of my absence, denrcat," ho urged cheerfully. "Think of tho time when I ahull return with n for tuno to offer you," "Ilcturn when you will, Frank." sob Ih'iI Carolyn, "you shall find mo true. I will wnlt for you faithfully." l'rnnk Hernia went tu Kuropo, nml for n month Carolyn wna Inconsolable. However, tlila did not Inat long, nml nt tho vud of n innuth Carolyn tint! no fnr recovered from her grief na to nc cept un luvltntlou to lira. Do Smith's, soiree. Al thnt aolreo alio met Albert ltendc, Hint fortunntu coualn of Prank's. Mr. Kendo wna n rntlier Kood looklni; yimiiK innn. Hh it Kitw ut oncu Hint ho wna tieatlneil to Itvcouut her adorer, lle aldea hu wna l'rank'H coualn -reaHou I'IiourIi why alio aliuuld llko him, Htlll alio did tint upvak to him of l'rnnk; neither did Mr. Itendo nlludo to lila coualn, hut Albert wni Ignorant of Mlaa Vernol'H vni;nKenient to Trunk, He bvEnu from their flrat meeting to tlvroto hlinaelf to her, nml Mlaa Vemet, not being blind, camtclnlly to auch at 'trntlona, did not mlatnko It, yet alio tl lil not dlacourngo him. And when occnalonnlly alio henrd aomo comment from "aoclety" not II at- turlnc to her constancy alio wild Indig nantly: "Of courae alio mini go nbout with aomo one, nml who could bo n moro proper escort thnn Trunk' coualn?" Ho alio continued to "go nbout" with Atliert ltendc. Of course, you see tho aeijuel. Cnrolyn loved Trnnk. Under tho fnaclnntlon of hla presence alio hnd yielded her aeltlnliupaa, but now thnt he wna cone, worldllncaa hnd resumed Ui away, nml ambition began to bur. Boat thnt Albert wan a better match than Trnnk. "Society," that nstuto nnd consider nto body, hnd Ions forcHcca tho oreut nnd wns uot In tho least surprised when Miss Vcrnet authorized tho In formation that sho wns soon to mnrry Albert Itendo, and society thought it a sensible proceeding. And Carolyn married Albert Hondo. They went to live with Undo Jenkins, who envo thoa brldo n set of diamonds nnd did the linndsomo thing generally, nnd somebody wns good enough to send to Trahk In Kuropo n paper containing tho ninrrlago notice. What a crushing blow to all his hopes thnt notice was ho novcr told nuy one. Ho did not re turn home, nnd society wns left to for got or remember him as It would. It choso to remember him, for Cnro lyn, riding on a ferryboat nbout two years after her marriage, heard a lady a'nd gentleman nt her sldo conversing as follows) "I supposo Maria told yau nbout her friend Trnnk Hondo's good fortune?" nucrlcd the lndy. "No. Wmt nbout him? I under stnnd thnt ho wns rntlier uufortunuto at ouo time." "You mean alwut his engagement io that Miss Vlnceut, was It I suppose. Yes, ho did tako her Inconstancy bad ly, Maria nays. Thoy suy sho wns a great beauty, nnd men are. silly nbout tt, protty face begglug your pnrdou, .iiou mull" ' "drnnted," laughed tho gentleman. "Proceed." "Well, you It now, ns, soon ns ho wns safely out of the way sho married a rich man, some, relation to Trunk Ilcado, I bellovo," "Yesj I havo beard nil nbout that" UNITED STATES MARINE TIIIl MMtlNK IIOHI'ITAf. AT CIIICUOO. Uncle Hum enres well for the unllor who pursuo their collluir under th flnif of the tjiilled Htntea, Ami not only does lm look nflcr tliu old "Imya" who iiiUKht tint lluita linlllra, hut tlmao if rquiil leliilfriiMa. Tor more II11111 n itlitury the United Hlstcs gorfrnnient hna iiiiilutalneil n liuaiiltnl service nml .iminlnl oarluina for alck and d aahled innrln era, Trimi n service eatnlillahi'il hi ITIIH mill building has grown n ehnln of perfectly Appointed luispltnls, There nru two iiiaiiuet liraiiclira tho nnvy, or UkIiIIiik fiirce, nml Hie inerelinnt, or commercial lleela. Of twenty auch himpltula clovuted to tho latter, Chicago haa tho principal one. Tim United Htntea marine hoapllnl In tint northern aubiirb of Chicago, mi thu ahum of I. iikn Mlehlgiin, la the beat appointed, heat eifulpped nml beat aiilled of nuy almilnr lii'tlt ntluii lu Hie country. Ileru any aeaiiiiin who enn ahow n crrllll cale proving service on n vesael Hying tho American ling for sixty till previous lo application may, If III, obtain mliulaaloii. Or, If even nfler only one day' service iiliniird n veel II) lug llm Htars nml Klrlpea he la Injured In Ida line of duty hn la entitled to cam nml treatment. It la not n home. In tho sense Hint one may enter nnd remain there linldliiltely. When thu Inmate rnjulrea no further meill enl treatment h must leave. Oilier lucea nru provided fur nged and liillrm sen mm, hut theaa hoapltnls ant for luvulida. The doors of Iheait liiatllulloua are uot closed to men of foreign vessels, either. lent nru received arnmeii nnd uruVcra nml llfe-savlug service and the nllled uot inndu for their enm flsewhcnt. There nro treated nnnunlly In the marine hospllal service over OO.IHJO cases, i liesc illspeliaarles nre mnlntalneil In nil sea nnd hike port towns of nuy tlio throughout the country. Tim structure In tjueslloii Is tlio second of Its kind built In Chicago. It -vas completed In 1H73 nt n cost of over VMS). The sandstone building Is nbout .'1(H) feet long, US) fret deep nml Hired stories high. Klnce Its completion n modem operntlug npinhltlieater has li en ndded at n coat of (10,0(10.. Turther ndillllnns of 11 laundry, stnhlcs, laolnllon wnrd nml dlaliifecllng clinuihers have been maju cosllng f .'l.'i.(XK). The nverngo expense to the government for maintaining tho iiinriuu hospital In Chicago l nhnut Hi'i.lKK) nnnunlly. Including the down-town illapensnry where "out relief' Is ud.irded about 3,000 pntlenta nra cured for every yenr. "Well, now cornea the sequel. Trnnk wynt to Hwltzerlnnd on aomo wild gooso chase, nnd while there saved the life of n certain rich, benevolent, child less gentleman. Well, (he benevolent old gentleman luslsted 011 taking his brnvo young preserver homo to Un gland with blm. Then he adopted him, mid now he hna capped tho illinax by lying nnd leaving hla Immense fort unit unconditionally to Trnnk. Now, won't Hint be n bitter pill to the faithless lienuly?" Cnrolyn heard no more, but she had henrd enough, nnd Inter the story hnd plenty of Cbnllrmntlon. It wns n bitter pill to her. Hut the worst wns not yet. In the course of nnturu Uncle Jen kins died nnd wns burled, and Ills law yer came to rend the will to the heir presumptive. With serene satisfaction Mr. nml Mrs. Itendo listened to the following: "1 give nnd hcqucnth to my nephew. Albert Hende, nil the property of which I tlio Kssessed, nmonntlng " Here, the lawyer paused to wlpo his spectacles. "Amounting to 5,000. Invested In etc. That was all. Uncle Jenkins' appar ent wealth had been nil n sham, nnd Carolyn hail sold herself for W.OOOI fihu hud lost uot only n true, loving heart, tint whnt wns uf more value n princely fortune. Chicago Tribune. FATHER OF THE TRUSTS. Tho OrcMt lliiiliicua Venturra (Irunn- litil lr Onirics l(. I'lliil. Ono of tho mot t nctlvo men In the business life of New York la Chnrlivt It, I'llnt, who la generally known na the "fnthcr of tho trusts," nnd the P e r f o r in nnce of whose yacht, the .Vrrow, In travel ing nt the rate of over forty- four miles nu hour, tins brought him Into temporary promin ence Mr. I'llnt Is 0110 of tho few holders C.IAI.LI ... KUNT of grcnt fortll.e,, In tho United Htntea who has drawn nearly all their money, not from their countrymen, but fro... foreigners. Ills vast fortune has been accumulated al most wholly In tho South American trnde. IIu Is nlso ono of tho fow Amer ican millionaires whoso efforts to no tu.milnto money have not wrecked his health. This Is very lnrgcly duo to tho constant care of his wife. It Is Mrs. Tllnt, not his business associates, THE OLDEST THRONE IN EUROPE. What; Is probably the oldest throne. In Europo has Just been discovered and laid bare. This remarkable and surprising tlnd waa nccomplUhcd by the llrltlsh archaeologist ami explorer, Arthur Kvnns, at Knossos, on the Island ot Crete, The mnln feature of Ills last season's work was the uncovering of the original gypsum throne used by King Minos In his great palace, now being excavated, Mlnot, n will bo remembered, was tho s in of Zeus, the Hrst law-glvcr of Orccce, who Is styled the Cretan Moses, who every ulno years repaired to Hie cave of Zeus ami received from tliu immortal god of thu mountains the laws for his people. Hero from the gypsum thronu more than -1,000 years ago King MluOs read his laws to hla subjects. The most interesting of all the chambers exposed waa the spacious throne-room. The walls w'ore elaborately decorated with frescoes, which hnvo established a new epoch In tho history of painting for that early period, as little ot the kind, oven of the classical Orook antiquity has befii hith erto kuown earlier (hail tho Ponipellnn scries. Tlio colors were almost as brilliant as whea laid down moro than -1,000 years ago. Hound the wnlls ot the throne-room were found low stone benches, and between these, separated by a small Interval and raised on a stone base, stood the great gypsum throne, with a high bark and coloicd with decorated designs. Its lower part was adorned with a curiously carved arch, with crotcbctcd mold ings, showing nn extraordinary anticipation of aome most characteristic of Gothic archltecti.ro. Hero truly waa the council chamber of King Minos and bis sover eign lady, It may bo said to day that tho youngest ot Europcau rulers (Trine George) as high coniuilstloucr ot Crete hui lu his dominions tho oldest throne lu Europe. HOSPITAL AT CHICAGO. tint inerelinnt marine nra cnnil fur wltli nml eotialatlnir of a few enuiloyea nml of foreign ships, nlao of tho revenue cutter lirnliches of the nnvy, where provision Is who dictates hi hours of labor, recre ation and rest. Hhu decides how lung ho may renin In In his olllce, whnt and when he must eat, how long and In what way he ahull piny, nml when nnd how long he ahull sleep. Their social nciunlutnnco Is, of course, very large, but such merry-iunkltig ns they ntteml must begin nml end early In the even ing. It Is said Hint Mr. Flint la never outside his own home later thnn 10 o'clock at night. Mr. 11 In t Is n prod net of Maine, having been born at Thoinnston In A WOMAN MINEn'8 PLUCK. Work Herself nt the Hard ami Dun- Verolia Toll. A story comes from Arizona which shows what can be accomplished by the energy nnd determination which often lies beneath the fnlr exterior of u woman's frame. Mrs. John Kny lives uenr Klngmnn, Ariz. She has n bus band mid n family of children. Her husbnml Is n hard-working man, but his earnings barely sufllco for the dally necessities of tho family, and several years ago she decided thnt sho would engage In mining for herself. Hho had no money to pay for thcJ development of her claim, but she hnd n pair of tender, but willing, lmnds nud nrms, nnd did not hesitate to sacrifice their beauty and mar their fair proper Hons In the effort to provide n future for her family. Hho took Hie drill and hammer In her own hands, nnd, with Infinite patience, wrought the holes In the rock, says Ores nml Metals. Sho cut the fuse, hit the cap, tamped the charge, went back Into tho smoke to look for re u Its, nnd wheeled out tho muck, nnd kept up this work for years, l'rogress was slow, for she washed and linked nnd made nnd hemmed for her children, but there wns no thought of failure In her mind, and no dream of rest until It I'ail been earned. A few weeks since her reward onma As she went Into tho tunnel after a round of shots she found big chunks of ore literally plastered with horu nnd native silver, assays running nt high ns ?.'!,000 to the ton. The vol.. Is opened nml Is rich, nud now she Is superin tending with n force of men taking out wealth for her. Washington Times, Anil tlio Htar-H Wlnkeil. 'You any tho evening wore on. What did It wear?" "Why, tho closo of day, of course." London Answers. Cms In Switzerland. Swiss ornithologists declare that cats hnvo become so numerous In Switzer land ns to threaten tho extermination of nil birds of tho country. THE SPRINTING: ROACH. How Ibf Ant rinjrrd Upon IIU Weak nen nml Won, Once upon n time there was n roach lived In a boh) In the wall next door to a wise old mil. Now It happened Hint the ant did not llko the roneh and would gladly huvu murdered hi 111 but for the roach's size nml grout strength, which iiindo thu ant 110 ma toll for blm In n con lest of strength. The ant placed poison at the roneh'. door, but the roach was wnry nnd nte It not. One evening, when the lndy of the housu came Into the room to look for roaches, the nut called upon tho ouch to come out of his hole, hoping tin; lady would kill nun, but the roneh 1 1 en id her footsteps mid kept close. Next the nnt tried to comjHias tho de struction of the roach by daring him to climb up tho sldo of the wall, hoping that the roach would fall from n great height nnd break his neck. The roach however, refused to climb. Now It happened Hint the roneh wns n great sprinter mid was very proud of his nullity to get over the ground In a hurry. The nut chanced to think of this, mid going to the roneb, challenged Mill to n footrace. The roneh ncceptetl tho challenge nt oncu mid slated that ho could run faster with his front feet tied thai, nny bandy legged nnt In the wholu house. The nnt selected the spot whero the foot rnce was to bo run which wns ncross n yellow sheet of pn per on the window sill. Hither both the nnt nml the ranch went and halted nt the edge of the sheet of paper. Aro you rendy f cried the roneh. I am!" shouted the ant. (Jo!" yelled the roach, nnd with that started across the sheet of paper nt a dreadful pace, (inly to fall down mid stick fast In n nnuscou mire ere he hnd gone two Inches. The nnt did not start at nil, for well ke knew that the rnco course was across n sheet of llypuper. Moral: There Is n weak spot In ev ery man's nnnor If you can but II nd It. Ohio Htntc Journal. I'rtMillnrltlcH orHleeji. There are few persons who can tell olT hand Just wlinl lmsltlons Hiey ns si.u.u to Invite sleep, mid yet there Is not nn Imllvldunl lu the world who has not some trick of distributing limbs and trunk to ensure slumber's bliss ful spell which no practices uncon sciously. Tills Is n night habit, ns per petual and Immutable under normal conditions ns the succession of the seasons. No sooner nrc we really off to the Land of Nod than the night habit asserts Its dominion. Our hands mid nrms seek the mine parts of the boil or the samo portions of our bodies upon which they bnve nightly resteil since Infancy, our feet nnd legs stretch nt the same nngles or loosely entwine In comfortable relaxation, as command eil by unconscious will. It Is seldom of our own deliberate volition that we place our bodies In IHwItlon for sleep, ns you will And to night on going to bill If you remember these words. In truth. If you do not seek to combat tho Instincts you will be surprised at tho dispositions of U10 vyrlous members Involuntarily made. If you endeavor to go to sleep by n new nrrnugeme.it of the body you will so be surprised ly the revolt ngalnst slumber wlilcn will surely ensue, but ven before the struggle Is well be gun you will probably surrender, nnd permit tho nil masterful night hnblt to reinstate those little details of posi tion which long practice has made nec essary to your comfort. Kierclso null Hating. A good dinner nt night Is necessary for Uioso whose pleasure or work keeps them up very late. Hut for ordinary folk who dine nt 0 or 7 and go to bed nl...itt ia.oi ...... it ... .i..i...n...Mn rnln tn tmilnratn rwl n-Khmtt (lio nlil "JUL 1U.OU Jill U 1 IK II L llUlfJHJlllU past should be taken at the end of the tiny, when muscles nnd nerves nre more or less exhausted. A "tlrctl stomach is n weak stomach" Is n golden rule to remember. Yet how often one hears people say, "I've been rushlug about nil day nnd am tired to oath; I jnust have n big meal to make up for Itl" You may put the big meal Into the stomach, but you cannot make he stomach digest It. a uenei lives strong in tlio Hearts nnd mTfids of tho majority of mankind. Including persons of weak ingestions. thnt a quick, brisk walk taken before meal gets up an appetite And helps tho stomach to digest tho food. Now, ilils Is exactly what it doesn't do. Ex ercise sprends tho blood through the body. Tor the proper digestion of food the blood Is needed lu tho stomach. Tow realize this Important fact After a long, exhausting wnlk, bicy cle spin or any severe physical or men jtnl strain take n good half hour's rest In n comfortable nnn-chalr or lying on 'A sofa before you eat a substantial meal. An Important Question. Civil service examinations nre some times tho source of no llttlo nnn.se meut. In New York there wns recently n test of candidates for the position ot park grass cutter. The first paper tlio examiner picked up contained this question nud answer: "What nro tho cubical contents of n room fifteen feet long, ten feet wldo nud eight foot high." "One bedstead, n bureau and n wash, stand. If such n room was a kitchen or a parlor, It would bo larger and eon. tul.i moro articles." Hero Is another question and an swer: "What Is tlio dlffcrenco between tl.reo feet square nnd three square recti'' "It could not be." At this uioment tho examiner wns Interrupted In his work by n big man who opened tho olllce door juid until: "Do you know anything about civil service? " "A little," replied tho examiner. "Well," continued tho visitor, "I wont to know whero Tut McCaim stands on tho old mowing list" "Third." "And how many nro there nheiul of him?" Glnoiors In Montana. But fow peoplo nro nwaro that Uiero aro In Montana so.no of tho finest gla ciers In tho world. lCIeotrlo ltouils In Switzerland, Electric railways nro rapidly dis placing tho old-fushloued diligences In Switzerland. I o A n X V- Si MS ' Short Qtoriej;! 4"M-W-H-K IOrd Koscbery onco sat next to n farmer nt his estatu dinner, and the conlldlng n.nn whispered to thu host, when the Ice middlmr wns brought: "Tho iiuddlmr linn Hin frozen." Tho ex-I'remler, flinnklng the farmer, and j ,e Impressed, although more bcwll looklng surprised, called to n wnlter, dt-,rc'. u' Kllttcrlng nnd mighty mi snld something, nnd then, turning to pnrltlon. Ho gnve ono look, eyes nnd the former ngnln, said: "They tell mo tho pudding has been frozen on uur- IKisel" When the fretful critic, Cumberland, snld of n performance of "Tho School for Scandal" that ho wns surprised that It provoked such Immoderato laughter, as It did not make bin. even smile, Hherldnn, tho wit, orator, nnd playwright, Is snld to havo remarked "rt,i...,i...i 1. .,i- ,,.i,.i ' "". I saw n tragedy of his played a fort night before nt Coveut Onrdcn, and I lainbed from i.nnim, t ..ml." " " " Tim ritlinf flnv nn Inmilamvi Iniiv ........ d i - wns iniKing wun J nines vviiiicomu in- , lM". 7.. .rs.o oi ...era ore. I ui. i.r. iw.ey. ...... uu for complaining. You must be n very .,... iiiuu. i uiiui-raiuuii juu tvi u uu.- t- i - . -... " ' nuiU 1 UI fill JUL. nillC le-e-cs, mndmn," snld Hllcy, with his 11.1' ,'l... . ...... I ... r.. T mI nil o. .., Ut ximciimc. . . day and can't think of n d n word.1 A photographer who arrived nt Oy tcr Hay tho other day nsked permis sion to take somu views. The Presi dent was amiable, and told him: "You nru welcome to photograph anything you like, except my wife and children, but If I catch you doing that I'll throw you off the place." Those nro the or- tiers to the secret-service men. They nre nuthorlzed to permit kodakers to shoot at nuythlng they see except Mrs. lloosovelt nnd the children. A New York rltihmnn. irlioio renu- tiiilon na ii ,n-..iio.i ntoi immfTprnlilB bore wns a byword, wns onco attempt- lug to Impress n group of men ns be- lug n society pet "What n hospitable fellow Illnuk Is," ho said, naming ono of New York's cleverest men; "1 drop- I ed in on him the other night, nnd be and his wife fairly Insisted that I stay for dinner. Such a tltnu ns I hnd get ting away I Why, when I started to leave, they came right out In the hall and backed up against the front door." ftcr you'd g-g-gonc out?" sarcastic ally Inquired one of bis wearied listen- rs. ,uieerB is generally reganieu a .nn n. . nn -1o...m. ....1 his grief. They found in his trunk "a guide through Turkey," and confls- cated It The next morning the Uae- ticker was returned to the German, but with more than a hundred pages. containing a description of Constant! noplc, torn out The traveler went to the censor's olllce to complain of this Inexplicable treatment of his book. llut the censor explained to blm, with Irresistible logic, that an accurate de- scrlptlon of Constantinople could not be suffered, since a knowledge of the locality was calculated to facilitate an nttcmpt on the. Sultan's life. SLANQ OF OUR COLLEGES. utereatlna Array of Barbarlsma that Onljr btudeut. Can Interpret. In an article on college slang Pres ident Thwlng of tho Western Iteserve university presents an interesting array of words which the laymen would try ' v of a teacher or a glossary. Different languages, he says, have different words and phrases, "and a few words and phrases are common to many, such as 'swipe, 'soak,' 'spike,' 'Josh,' 'hen medic,' 'goose egg,' 'grlng,' "crib, and many others Indeed. But thcro are other words that arc used only at a few colleges. A student, for Instance, In one college may 'bat' (make a per fect recitation) and may sit In a 'bear box' (the faculty pew In chapel). On going from church he mny become n 'belt chaser,' walking with a 'coed' and the point of a needle?" was onco charm going to his dinner he has n 'berry' Ingly answered by tho late Dr. Tal (a good thing). In tho afternoon he mage. The Philadelphia Times tells prepares himself for 'bib' (that Is, for recitation In the bible). It Is possible that tho 'belt chaser' walks with a 'bird' (a girl) to the 'bird cage" (a dormitory for women students). It Is also possible that the 'bird' may bo a 'birdie' (ono who Is eager to make acquaintance I with men without nn Introduction), He may prefer to call his walk n pike,' and nlso he mny prefer to walk turning home late, and I noticed a light 1 gj,- pityingly; "why didn't you fore with a 'plugger rather than with a In tho window of a room where a poor I gtal, hlm by gettlug an Injunction to bird,' and while walking to talk about I 'polek' (political economy) or 'polst' (political science). "A student may be a 'moke' (an easy- going fellow), and In that caso he Is apt to bo 'porky' (very poor) In bis I works, nnd consequently gets a 'zip (a zero lu marks), and Is In danger of bolng 'rusticated' (suspended). Of course, ho must become a 'repeater' (ono required to repent a year's work), If be hopes ever to get his 'rag (diplo ma). If the man Is an 'olio (n good stu dent) he will probably get the reputa tion of being a 'whalo' (a phenomenal student), In caso ho 'bones' (studies) hard nnd 'poles' (prepares a lesson by hard study). HE CREATED A 8EN8ATION. Town's Flrat Uniformed Policeman' Cauae of Wonder anil Terror, Tho old Inhabitants of towns aro fond of exchanging reminiscences ot early days. This wns the enso recently lu a smnll New England city and one of the matters recalled was tho establish, ment of Its police department. The force was small In number, but of Its mnmiiem wns nlmnst n r. nnt in nl I lx feet four nnd a naff Inches tall and broadly built There chanced to bo a hitch about tbo delivery of iho m uniform... r that nniv m. wna rocelved promptly aud the Goliath of tno rorce siaincu lonn in uis spienuor nloue. Naturally he created n sensation. As ho patrolled tho long winding street that run tho whole length of tho place there wero mnny comments upon his if bo wero really bright ho'd only have Browno-So ho bod. but his wifo fix pcrsonnl appearance, most ot which to think a little bit to get onto himself. C(j that In three months nfter their wero discreetly uttered after ho had Philadelphia Press. i,mrrium.iiiiin.i,.iniiin Pi-oaa. passed out of hen ring. At length, how- over, n shambling, shabby, sly-eyed crack-wilted ne'er-do-well stepped up and touched the gorgeous llguro on the arm. "Hny, mister," he whispered humbly, "tell me the safest law to brenk nud I'll break It for the honor of walking uown Main street with then, buttons!' Tho Information requested was not vouchsafed and the giant marched on In his buttons and his dignity. Hut llttlo farther along n smnll boy who wns playing In the front yard was no mourn ni uieir roumicsi, mm men tlnsli " "moors, crying 10 111s nioiner: "Oh, mamma, look I look I la ho war or tho circus?" Kvcn after ho hnd become a fnmlllar figure to the citizens tho huge gnrdlnn of the pcaco retained somo of his lm presslvcness. To ono prisoner nt lenst ho so emlKxlled tho terrors of the Inw thnt tho man submitted to nn arrest n few words of explanation a -,...1.1 I ...t !M.-.. tiiuv IIUIB lltl-Ilt-U. 1 llUJIi " nl cn"' l"'n' lnc Ju5(''e '"".""red In astonishment why he I (nil nnl , nnn 1,,. . U.nlll.. 1 .... inpniiniitr n, n I hnhn. ti.a n r-.... - ii. "Well, Judge, It's like tills: You're oIk). but (or IIunkcr ,,, mon urnont with a helmet on top. ho mny ,)0 , flrBt.rato ,iand.cum. macMnCi but i. .,, . ,.,,.,. ,., .., ...u... ' ' i'i.i"j I .el 11. h m V -, f,, .1 1.. nf .-vi. , ,',, , r .,. ,. , I . ' .... fl ( . Trail o In Ilabblt Skins. The Kngtlsh rabbit skin trade Is ono of Interest to Americans, according to n rejiort made to tho State Depart- ment by United States Consul Hal I stead at Illrmlngham. "Instead," he says, "of being sent to certain parts of the European continent where for n grent mnny years rabbit skins Intend I ed ultimately for American use have undergone n process known ns pulling I n few bales of these skins were shlp- I0'' Inst winter, experimentally, direct from Illrmlngham to the United States, " WM ""ugnt. n snipper told me, mat we ha1 Produced a new machine In u' Unltc1 states whlcu Pu out tno IonS ualr ot rabblt ka at leM " luan " lue exiremeiy cnenp nanu labor of the continent I learn that the machine experiment was not a success, and I know the English dealers who were Interested In the American ven ture are again sending their skins to the continent where the long, useless hairs are laboriously pulled out by hand and the skins reshlpped to hat manufacturers In the United States, wl,M nl,n.n a ft . I. l.nU nn,t aA this fur to make felt hats. "Millions of rabbits. Drltlsh nnd Aus- I ' nnmin nni.r. nhn .tit,. frm ,, M,, .,, n,, wuere rabblt8 ro dcessed !n houge. holds there Is. ns a perquisite, a penny nnlprB to thn .,. n nirmlnhhrn dealer tells me he handled 3.000,000 rabbit skins last year.' The Astonishing Trade In Bulbs. The man with the little garden walks round the public park and sees cro- cuscs" and daffodils, hynclnths'nnd tu Hps by the thousand. He understands I they are Imported direct from Holland by very large users of the bulbs. It Is nn nstoundlng trade as so measured nnd taken as an example of what oth ers do in tho same lino, as tradesmen say. Take the Japanese trade, which comes next In Importance to the Dutch. During last season eighty tons of lily roots wero sold, and this amounts In numbers to about 3,000,000. Hut this Is nothing to the Dutch trade. If we take tho same basis of weight nnd numbcrB as ,n tno Japanoso instance. The average sale Is sixty tons per week, which Is In numbers about 2,500,- 000. Tho season lasts about four months sixteen weeks so that In weight DGO tons nro sold; nnd this amounts In numbers to the almost In- credlblo sum of 40,000,000. Saturday Hevlew. A Double Point. The old question of the scholastics, How many nngels are supported on how. Some theological students were laughing over the question when In the company of Dr. Tnlmage. "Well," said he, "how many do you think?" As no one answered, ho went on with characteristic decision. "I'll tell you five. Let mo prove It to you. One very stormy night I was re- woman lived whose husband was at sea. I wondered what kept her up so late, and I went to sea. I found her hard at work sewing by her lamp, while her Ore rosy children were sound asleep near her. There was a needle support- Ing Ave nngels." The venerable Bishop Williams of ! r ..,,,1 ifi y n Connecticut for many years presiding Bishop of the Episcopal church In America, and who lived all his life a bachelor, was talking one day with a young man from tho West about a pos sible tax a Western Stute was trying to Imposo on bachelors, tho tax to bo Increased a certain per cent for every ten years of bachelorhood. "Why, Bishop," Bald tho young man. 'at your ago you would havo to pay about $100 n year." Well," said tho Bishop, quietly, nnd In his old-time vernacular, "It's wuth It," New York Times. America's Costliest lnseot. Tho chinch bug has been called the costliest Insect In America. It has cost as during a single season, a uug Hardly I visible to the , naked eyo nnd which ' will prov do 500 offspring Is dilUcult to and Its offensive odor pro- tccts It from other Insects which might fccd uPn Tho Kuol.t. Towno Ho docs think an awful lot of himself, that's a fact; but bo cor taluly la bright Browne What a ridiculous snecehl Homo automobiles can (ravel ono hundred miles without being repaired, If they aro shipped by trnln.-Chlcngo News. Defined: "l'npn. what Is n mnn of ono Idea?" "Any man. my son. who tins nn lilen Hint differs from yours. Chicago Tribune. Ho "Sho holds her ago well dosen't she?" Sho-"Ycs. Sho doesn't look n tiny older than sho snys sho Is." Phil ndelpbla Itecord. I'rcddy-'Top, when do they cnll n won.nn an old hen?'" Tho naternnl "When she becomes hopelessly sot In ucr wnys, my son." Kx, "In tho manager up-to-date?" "Ur to-datol Wli he's Just Introduced a game of ping-pong In tho balcony scene in itomco nnd Jullctl' " Tlt lllls. An nesthctlc soul: "Well, did sho buy tho book?" "No." replied tho clerk; "alio snld she didn't llko tho cover design." Detroit I-'rco Press. His soft answer: Angry mother "Now, Hobby, don't let mo speak to you again!" Hobby (helplessly) "How enn I prevent you. mamma?" Boston Globe. Wanted to know: Mrs. Stubb "They bnve captured tho cleverest hbtcl rob ber In the country. John." Mr. Stubb "Indeed! Which hotel did bo run?" Chlcngo News. He thinks of bnvlng his poems pub lished In book-form." "Well, Hint's tho best wny of putting them whero they won t bother anybody." Philadelphia Evening Bulletin. He "What more enn you nsk, denr? Hnvcn't I admitted I wns wrong nnd humbly npologlzed?" "Well, what of It? I havo no respect for a man who Is thnt wenk." Life. "The singer has mndo grent strides In the profession, bnsn't she?" "Yes, Indeed. Formerly, when she received an encore, she sang; now she usually smiles." Town and Couutry. Mrs. Slumkln "The Wcrdey baby Is tho picture of her fnthcr." Mr. Slum kln "I suppose that when tho child Is a little older she will bo the phono graph of her mother." Judge. Won't you try tho chicken salad. Judge," said the boarding-house keep er. I tried It yesterday, ma am," re plied the witty Judge, "and tho chicken proved-an alibi." Philadelphia Itecord. Might be worse: Mrs. Parvenu 'And then the whole nwful story got Into the papers." Mrs. Becntberc "Oh. well, matters might be still worse. It might have been dramatized." Judge. Ostentation: "You say your next door neighbors make a vulgar display of their wealth?" "Yes," answered Mr. Blckerson; "they left a ton of coal out on the sidewalk all day yesterday." Washington Star; " ' ' Parke "Tho other day I was In n kind of vision, and saw my wife as thu most iicrfcct woman In the world." Lane "Where were you?" Parke In an Intelligence oftlce. describing her to a cook I was trying to engage." Judge. Humoring his customers: Professor on Note "Yon hnf a vine collection off classic music here." Music dealer "That's for young ladles to look over previous to asking for a copy of "The Honeysuckle und tho Bee.' "New York Weekly. Exception: "This talk about Inven tions beln' Injurious to labor Is all nonsense." said Convict No. 151. "Why so?" asked the guard. "Because It Is. A patent burglar alarm wuz tho cause me glttln' live years at bard labor." Indianapolis Sun. Her pap "IV asplah tor marry mab daughtuh, sah? Il'm. Whad am yo'r prospec's?" Tho suitor (n widower) Ebery single one of de pussons fo' bom mah lato lamented wife dono washln' fo' hab promised ter llber'ly patcrntze her succcssah." Judge. Ituics of success: "What Is your rule of business your maxim?" the Wall Street baron was nsked. "Very sim ple," he answered; "pay for something that I can't get with money that I haven't got, and then sell what I never had for more than It ever cost" Life. Legal points: "So be got out on In junction against your company," we prevent tho Issuance of his Injunc tion?" "I couldn't, you see bo was slick enough to get out an Injunction ngalnst my getting out an Injunction against his Injunction!" Baltimore Herald. "Dear," she said, during nn Interval ot comparative sanity, "promise mo thing." "Anything," be nnswercd with tho recklessness of love. "After we have been married a reasonable time. If wo decide a divorce Is desir able ,promlso that my brothers, who are struggling young lawyers, shall represent us." Philadelphia North American. ltcnlly a convenience: "Skrlbblcs Is writing a new novel, In which the hero and heroine are deaf and dumb," ex plains tho mutual friend. "How queer!" comments tho other mutual friend. "Oh, I don't know. He says It's a great convenience. When ho gets tired ot Inventing conversations for them ho Just has thom hold hands for tho rest of tho chapter, wbllo ho writes about the scenery or tho weather." Judge. Kite. ,! Partridges. .,.. , ,. . C1 rmeaus to sb p wrE rE K"', fca to keep hem to, shooting! The ,.,1,1 ... V .":.. " . uo ing above them, fenrlng, doubtless, at tack. Hinted. Towne Bankrupt, Is ho? Why, I thought bo had a fixed Incomo of $10, m ,