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About Cottage Grove sentinel. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1909-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 28, 2019)
4A | WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 28, 2019 | COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL Cottage Grove Sentinel 116 N. Sixth St. Cottage Grove, Ore. 97424 NED HICKSON , MANAGING EDITOR | Opinion 541-902-3520 | NHICKSON @ CGSENTINEL . COM The First Amendment C ongress shall make no law respect- ing an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Govern- ment for a redress of grievances. “I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” —Thomas Jefferson (1800) USPS#133880 Copyright 2019 © COTTAGE GROVE SENTINAL Letters to the Editor Policy The Sentinel welcomes letters to the editor as part of a community discussion of issues on the local, state and national level. Emailed letters are preferred. Handwritten or typed letters must be signed. All letters need to include full name, address and phone number; only name and city will be printed. Letters should be limited to about 300 words. Letters are subject to editing for length, grammar and clarity. Publication of any letter is not guaranteed and depends on space available and the volume of letters received. Letters that are anonymous, libelous, argumentative, sarcastic or contain accusations that are unsourced or without documentation will not be published. Letters containing poetry or from outside The Sentinel readership area will only be published at the discretion of the editor. Political/Election Letters: Election-related letters must address pertinent or timely issues of interest to our readers at-large. Letters must: 1) Not be a part of letter-writing campaigns on behalf of (or by) candidates; 2) Ensure any information about a candidate is accurate, fair and not from second-hand knowledge or hearsay; and 3) explain the reasons to support candidates based on personal experience and perspective rather than partisanship and campaign-style rhetoric. Candidates themselves may not use the letters to the editor column to outline their views and platforms or to ask for votes; this constitutes paid political advertising. As with all letters and advertising content, the newspaper, at the sole discretion of the publisher, general manager and editor, reserves the right to reject any letter that doesn’t follow the above criteria. Send letters to: nhickson@cgsentinel.com Laws of physics don’t apply to our family’s laundry basket My wife and I have been trying to come up with an explanation for the volume of dirty clothes that accumulates in our laundry basket on a daily basis. In an attempt to ex- plain this phenomenon by utilizing mathematic principles, we went through the laundry, separated the clothes, subtracted how many days since the basket was empty, and then di- vided it by the number of children in our home — which lead to an important discovery: We had become trapped in the bath- room after our pile of clothes fell against the door. While it’s true we have four children be- tween us, according to my calculations they are changing their clothes every 18 minutes. This includes through the night, when they apparently take turns changing each other while sleeping in shifts. This would explain how they can have a clothes that don’t actu- ally make it home from school until the end of the year, when they magically re-appear in the closet two sizes too small. Even though they are homo sapiens capable of walking in an upright position, we have to assume, judging from On Th e Lighter Side By Ned Hickson closet full of clothes at bedtime, then wake up and have nothing to wear. It would also explain why their bed sheets are always un- tucked and strewn on the floor by morning; they are using the sheets to drag each other’s sleeping bodies back and forth to the closet. Also included in our mathematical equation was the “X” quotient, which represents their pants, our chil- dren spend most of the day on their hands and knees trapping moles. As a result, we discussed the idea of getting ahead of the curve by purchasing new pants, and then immediately cutting the knees out. This would effectively eliminate 90 percent of the grass stains from our laundry while, at the same time, providing our children with knee calluses the size of Egg McMuffins. We decided against this because we realized our children would be missing an important lesson about taking care of their clothes. We also realized we really needed to stop and eat because the phrase “Egg McMuffin knee calluses” made us salivate. What we eventual- ly decided on was a responsibility checklist for each of our children. This list is designed to encourage them to take care of their clothes as well as themselves. Naturally, there is a reward system involved for completing this checklist each day, such as reward option 1: Not having to go to school naked. I will let you know if our plan is successful. As soon as we get out of the bathroom. HOW TO CONTACT YOUR REPS Oregon state representatives Oregon federal representatives • Sen. Floyd Prozanski • Rep. Peter DeFazio District 4 State Senator PO Box 11511 Eugene, Ore. 97440 Phone: 541-342-2447 Email : sen.fl oydprozanski@ state.or.us (House of Representatives) 405 East 8th Ave. #2030 Eugene, Ore. 97401 Email: defazio.house.gov/ contact/email-peter Phone: 541-465-6732 • Rep. Cedric Hayden Republican District 7 State Representative 900 Court St. NE Salem, Ore. 97301 Phone: 503-986-1407 Website: www.leg.state.or. us/hayden Email: rep.cedrichayden@ state.or.us • Sen. Ron Wyden 405 East 8th Ave., Suite 2020 Eugene, Ore. 97401 Email: wyden.senate.gov Phone: (541) 431-0229 • Sen. Jeff Merkley Email: merkley.senate.gov Phone: 541-465-6750 S entinel C ottage G rove 541-942-3325 Administration Jenna Bartlett, Group Publisher Gary Manly, General Manager... Ext. 1207 gmanly@cgsentinel.com Gerald Santana, Multi-Media Sales Consultant... Ext. 1216 gsantana@cgsentinel.com Veronica Brinkley, Multi-Media Sales Consultant... Ext. 1205 vbrinkley@cgsentinel.com Carla Summers, Inside Multi-Media Sales Consultant... Ext. 1203 csummers@cgsentinel.com Editorial Ned Hickson, Managing Editor... 541-902-3520 nhickson@cgsentinel.com Damien Sherwood, Lead Reporter... Ext. 1212 dsherwood@cgsentinel.com Nick Snyder, Sports/Community News Reporter... Ext. 1204 nsnyder@cgsentinel.com Customer Service Meg Fringer, Office Manager, Legals, Classifieds... Ext. 1200 mfringer@cgsentinel.com Production Ron Annis, Production Supervisor... 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