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4A | WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2019 | COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL Cottage Grove S entinel 116 N. Sixth St. Cottage Grove, Ore. 97424 NED HICKSON , MANAGING EDITOR Opinion | 541-902-3520 | NHICKSON @ CGSENTINEL . COM The First Amendment C ongress shall make no law respect- ing an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Govern- ment for a redress of grievances. “I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” —Thomas Jefferson (1800) USPS#133880 Refl ecting on our ‘Breaking the Silence’ series pain they have suffered. The topic of suicide seems to bubble up in my career wherever I go. I was first introduced to the power of these conversa- tions when I was serving as an editor in Pennsylva- nia in 2014. It started with a wom- who lost her son; a man who attempted suicide as a teen; and a woman who suffered from severe depression and anxiety — and how they grappled with the aftermath. I remember them all so vividly. They’re the kind of interviews that stick with be more inspired, more touched by the whole experience. And the same goes for this one. We are proud to have (Managing Editor’s partnered with The Note: Today marks the Cottage Grove Sentinel, final installment in our Siuslaw News and New- month-long collaborative port News-Times on this series with The Creswell important subject this Chronicle, Siuslaw News month. It’s collaboration Guest Editorial and Newport News-Times that rarely, if ever, occurs Erin Tierney, Th e Creswell Chronicle focusing on Oregon’s rising between community suicide rate. It was the first newspapers in Oregon, collaboration of this kind. but is one that supports, And it won’t be the last. — an by the name of Kathy you, become part of you. strengthens and upholds Ned Hickson) Merrill, who came to the Just as the series titles local journalism, as well as paper as she was trying to suggest, it all starts with its network of journalists. want to commend the start an Out of the Dark- one story — one person to It’s a collaboration that subjects of the “Break- ness suicide survivor walk come out of the shadows, has enabled our newspa- ing the Silence” series in our county. one person to break the pers to share resources for their bravery in com- She told me her experi- silence. and readership, to spread ing forward about their ence with suicide; losing That one story inspired information far and wide experiences with suicide. her husband, Carl. It was a another person to come for the betterment of all I sit in awe of their heartbreaking story worth forward, and another. And our communities. We’re courage and candidness telling, and Kathy wanted then another. thankful to have been a in telling their accounts, to tell it. Kathy got her walk part of it. knowing it would be read Shortly thereafter, organized that year, and Though the series has by thousands. In this beloved comedian Robin I attended as a reporter concluded, The Creswell week’s piece, I am hum- Williams died by suicide. and as a supporter. People Chronicle, The Cottage bled by those I interviewed People couldn’t have been came out in droves to walk Grove Sentinel, Siuslaw for trusting me to tell their more shocked. The merit for their losses, and I felt News and Newport News- story. in expanding on the sub- so proud of Kathy and all Times encourage people I always say that as a ject became clear. she’d accomplished. to keep talking; to let journalist, I am the vessel And so began a series A memorial vigil was their stories be known; to for which people can tell called Stepping Out of the held in town next to a continue to work toward their stories. I am merely Shadows, a series that, quaint gazebo after the healing; to watch for those a transcriber; they are the very similar to this one, series concluded. People who may be suffering ones who do all the work, recounted loss after loss of lit candles, sang songs and silently; to try and help the ones who make the loved ones by suicide. I received the warmest those in need. story. It’s especially true The series followed embrace from one of my Everybody is some- in this case, and it was a a woman who lost her interviewees. body’s loved one. pleasure to be part of their husband; a man who lost With tears in his eyes, No one is immune to the journey as Cora, Ashley, his cousin; a daughter who he thanked me and said pain of losing someone to Eli and other loved ones lost her mom; a son who telling his story had helped suicide. learn to grow from the lost his mom; a mother him to heal. I couldn’t I No matter what, someone cares about you (Editor’s Note: As we wrap up our month-long series collaborative focus- ing on suicide, this week’s Guest View- point is particularly poignant, submit- ted by a Cottage Grove High School senior willing to share their first-hand experience dealing with the loss of a friend to suicide. Though the series is ending, we hope community members will continue to keep this important conversation going with one another as well as in within these pages.) There are hidden sides to losing someone. Most feel sadness, a sense of loss, and some even feel happiness. Yet all these feelings are mixed up when you lose someone to suicide. Last summer, I lost a dear friend to suicide. I had known her for more than four years. She was one of my closest friends. Even with us growing apart before her death, we always had each other’s back. Her passing was very sudden just as anyone lost through suicide is. But even if I knew she was going to take her life, there’s no handbook on how to handle it. Once I learned the news, I had many mixed emotions. But the biggest was guilt. I felt guilty for a lot of things. Not talking to her as much, growing dis- Guest Viewpoint By Tyler Rhynes Cottage Grove High School senior tant from her, and not checking in on her. The biggest was that I forgot to wish her a happy birthday. I had set a reminder to message her but time slipped away — and I never did. Now that her birthday is coming up again next month, I feel terrible for forgetting; I now make sure to mes- sage everyone that simple message when it’s their birthday. Another thing was the unanswered questions. Her death left me with more questions than answers. Things like this are difficult because you can ask anyone — and everyone — and they never can give you an answer. Some questions I began asking were “Did she know I loved her?” “What pushed her to this?” “Why did she not message me?” and “I thought she was getting better?” Now, I never will get an answer to those questions. At the same time, those questions have helped change me to who I am. The tragedy is an open door to grow. Her passing has taught me to make sure my friends and family know I care for them and how quickly some- one can be gone. And as it gets close to one year since she passed, all I can say is that if anyone ever feels like she did to please reach out. Someone cares about you and wants you to be happy. There are other ways to relieve the pain you are feeling. Many people are willing to help you through this. Some resources are the National Suicide Hotline (1-800-273- 8255) and the online chat. Just remember: No matter what, someone cares about you. Copyright 2019 © COTTAGE GROVE SENTINAL Letters to the Editor Policy The Sentinel welcomes letters to the editor as part of a community discussion of issues on the local, state and national level. Emailed letters are preferred. Handwritten or typed letters must be signed. All letters need to include full name, address and phone number; only name and city will be printed. Letters should be limited to about 300 words. Letters are subject to editing for length, grammar and clarity. 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