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About Cottage Grove sentinel. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1909-current | View Entire Issue (June 13, 2018)
COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL • JUNE 13, 2018 • 11A Want to be a better father? You need a bigger grill S unday morning I will awaken to sizzle of bacon and eggs, the aroma of freshly brewed coff ee and shuffl e of approaching feet as I lay in bed quietly thinking to myself, My God, my wife is leaving me. Th en I’ll remember, Wait — it’s Father’s Day! A day when we fathers are revered for our wisdom, patience and, in a few rare instances, our neckwear. For one whole day I’ll be the perfect father since my wife will be handling everything for me. She does this to help me relax and enjoy my special day. Th e problem is, it’s hard to relax when, by handling everything herself, my wife makes it clear I could be replaced by a dishwasher and a few extra power cords. Okay, that’s not entirely true. But our son already takes out the trash, leaving me with “Th e Grilling of Food” as my main contribution to the daily operation of our family. I have managed to keep this duty the way most men do, by making the task of grilling appear as complicated and miserable as possible, even if it means faking a heat stroke while grilling pre- cooked hot dogs. I realize there are many new fathers who have made themselves indispensable during the diaper-changing phase. Just remember: your indispensability in this area — much like this morning’s tightly-wrapped dooty — will eventually disappear into the Diaper Genie. Th at’s when grilling even NEW EXPANDED HOURS Mon- Th urs 11- 9 • Fri - Sat 11 - 10 • Sun 11 - 7 the simplest things, such as a bratwurst, should be made to look as diffi cult as possible. To do this, you’ll need a large grill. Th e bigger the better. In fact, if a hibachi is your main grilling source, go size of an Oldsmobile. Why? You need a large cooking surface so that you can convincingly spray down fl ames and battle for control over a raging inferno that, if not now, hop into your vehicle, and accidentally back over your hibachi several times and replace it with something more practical. And, practically speaking, we’re talking a grill roughly the for your grilling skill, would quickly consume everyone’s bratwurst — and quite possibly the county. Unless you are highly experienced in pyrotechnics, or live near an open gas line, trying Locally Sourced PIG & TURNIP EST 2015 UNITE from A1 CGHS said, echoing his classmates who reminded their fellow graduates that they had three- to produce this same eff ect on a hibachi is very diffi cult. Once you have your giant grill, you’ll need to keep a spray bottle handy. Your wife will assume it’s to prevent charring. Th is is partially true. But mostly you’ll be using it to spray on your face and body to appear as though you are perspiring when, in fact, you are frequently supplementing any loss of body fl uid with liberal amounts of ice cold beer hidden behind the grill. Lastly, you should purchase a special, custom- made spatula that is so enormous and so heavy it can only be wielded with two hands. Th is will make the grilling process appear even more diffi cult by requiring a fourths of their lives left —statistically — and that memories, not mementos, were what mattered. Th e class of 2018 added to the school’s graduation rate that has routinely ranked in the top three in Lane County. Th e most “spotter” every time you fl ip someone’s burger. Put all of this together — spray bottle, giant grill, two- handed spatula — and you’ll have the dramatic image you want, which is that of a sweat- stained father staggering in and out of the fl ames of his grill, both hands gripped tightly around the handle of his 50-pound spatula as he devoutly retrieves the evening meal. Sure, this may sound like a lot of eff ort; you could fold clothes instead. But the eff ort is worth it when it comes to family. Besides, it’s really hard to keep beer cold when it’s hidden in the laundry. (Write to Ned Hickson at nhickson@cgsentinel.com) recent data from the Oregon Department of Education placed the district’s gradua- tion rate at just under 77 percent and Cot- tage Grove High School’s graduation rate at 95.98 percent. German Inspired Fo o d Beer Wine Cider COUNCIL from A1 city’s proposal. “On April 24, the buildings codes division sent us a letter that said we were part of a po- tential investigation regarding new emergency rules,” Stewart told the board. According to Stewart, who had taken class- es to be certifi ed as a building inspector, the new regulations required a diff erent certifi ca- tion for the position as well as an electricity inspector on staff for cities that manned their own inspection programs. Due to the cost of hiring an inspector and electrician who 60 Gateway Blvd. Cottage Grove, Or 97424 541-942-6130 • pigandturnip.com 418 A St., Springfi eld, OR 97477 • 541-968-2403 Visit us online: www.cgsentinel.com met the new requirements, Cottage Grove offi cials reached out to Veneta that indicated it was interested in sharing the cost of the two positions. “On May 18, I got a late-night call, followed by an email,” Stewart said. Th e building code divi-sion had revoked the new regulation, replacing it with the mandate that cities wanting to run an internal inspection program must have a building inspector—certifi ed under the same standards Stewart had originally obtained—or con- tract with a municipality that employed a building inspector. “So, we circled back around,” Stewart said, noting that Vene- ta still wanted to be part of the program and that under the guidelines from the state, three cities are permitted to partner to-gether. Councilor Mike Fleck made the motion to approve the in- tergovernmental agreement, citing the growing housing crisis and the city’s inspection program’s potential in stream- lining the construction pro- cess. Th e motion passed unan- imously. City manager Richard Mey- ers reported last week that the city’s new building inspection division issued 46 building permits and generated $43,666 in permit fees. “Fift een of the permits re- quired plan review and fi ve of the permits were new single family homes,” Meyers wrote in the Friday Update, a news- letter posted to the city’s web- site every Friday. “In Creswell 45 building permits were is- sued, fi ve of which required plan review and three were for new single family homes. Th e building inspection division performed 54 building inspec- tions, three investigations, is- sued one stop-work order and had three pre-application sub- mission meetings for Cottage Grove.” Fa t h e r ' s D ay We e k e n d J u n e 1 4 - 1 7, 2 0 1 8 Gates open at 7:30 every morning From the time we are born, dads play an important role in our lives straight through adulthood. In addition to providing a sense of love and security, research shows that having an involved and supportive father correlates with fewer behavioral problems and higher rates of academic achievement in children. As we celebrate Father’s Day on June 17, here’s a look at some facts about fatherhood: 7 Sources: Pew Research Center, United States Census Bureau 2017, Hallmark, National Retail Federation Hours a Week Th e average amount of time fathers reported spending on child care in 2015, a number that has nearly tripled since 1965 72.2 Million Estimated number of fathers in the United States 30.9 Years Th e average age of an American father at the birth of his fi rst biological child 1910 Th e fi rst Father’s Day celebration was proclaimed by the Mayor of Spokane, WA in honor of William Smart. Smart’s daughter Sonora Dodd petitioned for a day to honor fathers like her own, an American Civil War veteran who, as a widower, raised six children. 1966 1972 Th e year President Lyndon Johnson offi cially designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day by presidential proclamation Th e year President Nixon signed a measure making Father’s Day a permanent holiday Presented by the Reedsport / Winchester Bay Chamber of Commerce $12.7 Billion Father’s Day spending in the United States, with the average person spending $115.57 on gifts 43.2% 47.1% Th e percentage of Americans purchasing a special outing or meal for Father’s Day Th e percentage of Americans purchasing clothing as a Father’s Day gift 72 Million Th e number of Father’s Day cards purchased each year $5 Daily Admission or 4-Day pass for $15 Vendors · Food · Raffles Daily Quick Carve Auctions Thank you t o our Spons ors! · City of Reedsport · Douglas County Coast C.E.R.T. · ECHO · Jordan Cove LNG · Lower Umpqua Hospital District · Mack's Saw Shop · Makita · Salmon Harbor Marina · Silvan Forest LLC · Star Rentals 23% Th e percentage of children in America who live with single mothers in homes without a father 4% Th e percentage of children living with single fathers in homes without a mother Subscribe today & Save! $41 .oo for 52 weeks Print & E-Edition cgs entinel.com www.oregonccc.com Speak your peace. Write a Letter to the Editor today. Email nhickson@cgsentinel.com