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6A COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL July 20, 2016 COMMUNITY BRIEFS Chatterbox The Wisdom Seekers on PeaceHealth Cottage Grove Thursday Cottage Grove’s Wisdom Seek- makes to-know list A brief respite from madness and mayhem BY BETTY KAISER For the Sentinel I t is with a broken heart that I sit down at my desk to write this column. The recent shocking shootings of citizens and vindictive murders of police offi cers in the USA has left me speechless. And the terrorist attack in Nice, France that killed and wounded hundreds… took me to my knees. These crimes are so heinous that it will take the Wisdom of Solomon to stop the madness. I am not Solomon. Therefore, I am not going to pontifi cate about how to bring peace to the warring factions of our society. I am going to make an effort to lighten up your day as I empty my email inbox. It often brings a smile to my face and it’s good to take a moment and realize that life goes on when the world around us seems to be blowing up. Let’s begin with a piece that someone sent me from a university in Wisconsin. Every year the school’s administration tries to give faculty a sense of the mind- set of incoming students. Reading this you will understand the generation gap. There’s a reason we don’t understand today’s kids and they don’t understand us either: “The students who are starting college this fall were born in 1998. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. Their lifetime has always included AIDS. Bottle caps have always been screw-off and plastic. The CD was introduced seven years before they were born. They have always had an answering machine. They have always had cable TV. They cannot fathom not having a remote control. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are. They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter. And movies? Well…. They never think about “Jaws” when they go swimming. They don’t know who Mork was or where he came from. They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who he is! They never heard: “I’d walk a mile for a Camel” “Where’s the beef?” or “de plane, Boss…de plane.” 1966, “Whatever” 2016, “Depends” That’s today’s students. Now check out this 50-year span of word play contrasts for those who were students in the 1960s: “America is the only country where a signifi cant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.” David Letterman And fi nally, here are some quotes from well-known individuals who are a little closer in age to my generation. Some are amusing. Some are pithy, but all are food for thought: Maturity Changes Things 1966, Long Hair 2016, Longing for Hair! “I’ve been married to a communist and a Fascist and neither would take out the garbage.” Zsa Zsa Gabor 1966, KEG 2016, EKG! “Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.” Harrison Ford 1966, Acid Rock 2016, Acid Refl ux! “Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.” Robin Hall 1966, Moving to Calif. because it’s COOL! 2016, Moving to Arizona because it’s WARM! “Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.” Arnold Schwarzenegger. 1966, Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 2016, Trying NOT to look like Brando or Taylor! “As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind: every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.” John Glenn 1966, Seeds and stems 2016, Roughage 1966, Hoping for a BMW 2016, Hoping for a BMW! 1966, Going to a new-hip joint 2016, Receiving a new hip joint! 1966, Rolling Stones 2016, Kidney stones! 1966, Disco 2016, Costco! “We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.” WH Auden (social poet) I’m going to close by agreeing with the last quote. Good will must begin with us. Whoever we are, whatever our religion, we should be willing to apply the Golden Rule to all: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It may not save the world, but it’s good Karma. Keep smiling, and may God help us all! 1966, Parents begging you to get your hair cut 2016, Children begging to get their heads shaved Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about people, places, family, and other matters of the heart. Contact her at 942-1317 or via e-mail — bchatty@bettykaiser.com. ers Club meets at 7 p.m. tomor- row evening (monthly on the third Thursday) at the Healing Matrix, Seventh and Main streets. This conversation (with free cookies), about science, philosophy, and almost anything else welcomes anyone to attend and join the host, astronomer Steve Kilston, in of- fering and listening carefully to ideas and insights on any topic. Backpack donation On Saturday, July 30, TCC and A Wireless are teaming up to donate 235,000 backpacks full of school supplies to children through TCC’s annual School Rocks Backpack Giveaway. Between noon and 3 p.m., more than 1,300 participating TCC and A Wireless stores are inviting lo- cal families to bring their children to the store to pick up a backpack fi lled with pencils, paper, a pencil box, folders, glue and more. The participating TCC store in Cot- tage Grove is located at 1498 E. Main St., Suite 101. Mass Appeal com- ing to Opal Center The Opal Center for Arts and Education announces the upcom- ing production of Mass Appeal, directed by David Work, a com- edy that will run July 21-23 and 28-30; doors open at 7:30 p.m., and the show starts at 8 p.m. The stars of this show are lo- cal actors Matt Woodward and Jim Curtiss. Father Tim Farley (Curtiss) is highly popular with his parishioners due to his charm, wit, easy-going manner, and en- tertaining (but un-challenging) sermons. One Sunday, seminarian Mark Dolson (Woodward) inter- rupts Farley’s sermon to challenge his stance on the ordination of women. The pastor is outraged yet intrigued by the young man, and asks to have him assigned to work with him. PeaceHealth Cottage Grove Community Medical Center has been named one of the 50 Criti- cal Access Hospitals to Know by Becker’s Hospital Review. This is the second year PeaceHealth Cot- tage Grove has made the Becker’s list of outstanding critical access hospitals in the nation. The Becker’s list is based on rankings and awards from respect- ed organizations, including iVan- tage Health Analytics, Health- grades, the National Rural Health Association, Truven Health Ana- lytics, Women’s Choice Award and the Leapfrog Group. Included hospitals earned recognition from one or more of these organizations within the past two years. Phi Kappa Phi The following local residents recently were initiated into The Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi, the nation’s oldest and most selec- tive collegiate honor society for all academic disciplines. Justin Baird of Cottage Grove, initiated at Eastern Oregon Uni- versity Emma Feldkamp of Roseburg, initiated at Eastern Oregon Uni- versity Jameson Baird of Roseburg, initiated at Eastern Oregon Uni- versity Rachelle Capone of Roseburg, initiated at Eastern Oregon Uni- versity These residents are among ap- proximately 30,000 students, fac- ulty, professional staff and alumni to be initiated into Phi Kappa Phi each year. Membership is by in- vitation and requires nomination and approval by a chapter. $ PUUBHF ( SPWF 4 FOUJOFM Our Community Newspaper since 1889 1966, Passing the drivers’ test 2016, Passing the vision test Comprehensive family, medical eyecare and optical services Cataract exams • Glaucoma exams • Lasik exams • Diabetic exams Serving Cottage Grove Community since 2006 Welcome new patients Offi ce hours: Monday thru Thursday 9-5, Friday 9-4 257 N. 8th St. • 541-942-5000 www.PCVI.com Get your LOCAL news How you want it... In Print. Online. On the go! 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