6A COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL July 20, 2016
COMMUNITY BRIEFS
Chatterbox
The
Wisdom Seekers on PeaceHealth
Cottage Grove
Thursday
Cottage Grove’s Wisdom Seek- makes to-know list
A brief respite from madness and mayhem
BY BETTY KAISER
For the Sentinel
I
t is with a broken heart that I sit down
at my desk to write this column. The
recent shocking shootings of citizens and
vindictive murders of police offi cers in
the USA has left me speechless. And the
terrorist attack in Nice, France that killed
and wounded hundreds… took me to my
knees. These crimes are so heinous that
it will take the Wisdom of Solomon to
stop the madness. I am not Solomon.
Therefore, I am not going to pontifi cate
about how to bring peace to the warring
factions of our society. I am going to
make an effort to lighten up your day as
I empty my email inbox. It often brings
a smile to my face and it’s good to take
a moment and realize that life goes on
when the world around us seems to be
blowing up.
Let’s begin with a piece that someone
sent me from a university in Wisconsin.
Every year the school’s administration
tries to give faculty a sense of the mind-
set of incoming students. Reading this
you will understand the generation gap.
There’s a reason we don’t understand
today’s kids and they don’t understand
us either:
“The students who are starting college
this fall were born in 1998.
They are too young to remember the
space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included
AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been screw-off
and plastic.
The CD was introduced seven years
before they were born.
They have always had an answering
machine.
They have always had cable TV.
They cannot fathom not having a remote
control.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the
microwave.
They can’t imagine what hard contact
lenses are.
They don’t have a clue how to use a
typewriter.
And movies? Well….
They never think about “Jaws” when
they go swimming.
They don’t know who Mork was or
where he came from.
They do not care who shot J.R. and have
no idea who he is!
They never heard: “I’d walk a mile for
a Camel” “Where’s the beef?” or “de
plane, Boss…de plane.”
1966, “Whatever”
2016, “Depends”
That’s today’s students. Now check out
this 50-year span of word play contrasts
for those who were students in the
1960s:
“America is the only country where a
signifi cant proportion of the population
believes that professional wrestling is
real but the moon landing was faked.”
David Letterman
And fi nally, here are some quotes from
well-known individuals who are a little
closer in age to my generation. Some are
amusing. Some are pithy, but all are food
for thought:
Maturity Changes Things
1966, Long Hair
2016, Longing for Hair!
“I’ve been married to a communist and
a Fascist and neither would take out the
garbage.” Zsa Zsa Gabor
1966, KEG
2016, EKG!
“Wood burns faster when you have to
cut and chop it yourself.” Harrison Ford
1966, Acid Rock
2016, Acid Refl ux!
“Lawyers believe a man is innocent until
proven broke.” Robin Hall
1966, Moving to Calif. because it’s
COOL!
2016, Moving to Arizona because it’s
WARM!
“Having more money doesn’t make you
happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m
just as happy as when I had 48 million.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
1966, Trying to look like Marlon Brando
or Liz Taylor
2016, Trying NOT to look like Brando
or Taylor!
“As I hurtled through space, one thought
kept crossing my mind: every part of
this rocket was supplied by the lowest
bidder.”
John Glenn
1966, Seeds and stems
2016, Roughage
1966, Hoping for a BMW
2016, Hoping for a BMW!
1966, Going to a new-hip joint
2016, Receiving a new hip joint!
1966, Rolling Stones
2016, Kidney stones!
1966, Disco
2016, Costco!
“We are here on earth to do good unto
others. What the others are here for, I
have no idea.” WH Auden (social poet)
I’m going to close by agreeing with
the last quote. Good will must begin
with us. Whoever we are, whatever our
religion, we should be willing to apply
the Golden Rule to all: “Do unto others
as you would have them do unto you.”
It may not save the world, but it’s good
Karma.
Keep smiling, and may God help us all!
1966, Parents begging you to get your
hair cut
2016, Children begging to get their
heads shaved
Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about
people, places, family, and other matters
of the heart. Contact her at 942-1317 or
via e-mail — bchatty@bettykaiser.com.
ers Club meets at 7 p.m. tomor-
row evening (monthly on the third
Thursday) at the Healing Matrix,
Seventh and Main streets. This
conversation (with free cookies),
about science, philosophy, and
almost anything else welcomes
anyone to attend and join the host,
astronomer Steve Kilston, in of-
fering and listening carefully to
ideas and insights on any topic.
Backpack donation
On Saturday, July 30, TCC
and A Wireless are teaming up
to donate 235,000 backpacks full
of school supplies to children
through TCC’s annual School
Rocks Backpack Giveaway.
Between noon and 3 p.m., more
than 1,300 participating TCC and
A Wireless stores are inviting lo-
cal families to bring their children
to the store to pick up a backpack
fi lled with pencils, paper, a pencil
box, folders, glue and more. The
participating TCC store in Cot-
tage Grove is located at 1498 E.
Main St., Suite 101.
Mass Appeal com-
ing to Opal Center
The Opal Center for Arts and
Education announces the upcom-
ing production of Mass Appeal,
directed by David Work, a com-
edy that will run July 21-23 and
28-30; doors open at 7:30 p.m.,
and the show starts at 8 p.m.
The stars of this show are lo-
cal actors Matt Woodward and
Jim Curtiss. Father Tim Farley
(Curtiss) is highly popular with
his parishioners due to his charm,
wit, easy-going manner, and en-
tertaining (but un-challenging)
sermons. One Sunday, seminarian
Mark Dolson (Woodward) inter-
rupts Farley’s sermon to challenge
his stance on the ordination of
women. The pastor is outraged yet
intrigued by the young man, and
asks to have him assigned to work
with him.
PeaceHealth Cottage Grove
Community Medical Center has
been named one of the 50 Criti-
cal Access Hospitals to Know by
Becker’s Hospital Review. This is
the second year PeaceHealth Cot-
tage Grove has made the Becker’s
list of outstanding critical access
hospitals in the nation.
The Becker’s list is based on
rankings and awards from respect-
ed organizations, including iVan-
tage Health Analytics, Health-
grades, the National Rural Health
Association, Truven Health Ana-
lytics, Women’s Choice Award
and the Leapfrog Group. Included
hospitals earned recognition from
one or more of these organizations
within the past two years.
Phi Kappa Phi
The following local residents
recently were initiated into The
Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi,
the nation’s oldest and most selec-
tive collegiate honor society for
all academic disciplines.
Justin Baird of Cottage Grove,
initiated at Eastern Oregon Uni-
versity
Emma Feldkamp of Roseburg,
initiated at Eastern Oregon Uni-
versity
Jameson Baird of Roseburg,
initiated at Eastern Oregon Uni-
versity
Rachelle Capone of Roseburg,
initiated at Eastern Oregon Uni-
versity
These residents are among ap-
proximately 30,000 students, fac-
ulty, professional staff and alumni
to be initiated into Phi Kappa Phi
each year. Membership is by in-
vitation and requires nomination
and approval by a chapter.
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