Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Cottage Grove sentinel. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1909-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 12, 2015)
COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL August 12, 2015 9A Rotary hosts CASA, RYLA reps The Cottage Grove Rotary Club's Thursday meeting featured a twin bill, with Robben Lyons of Court Appoint- ed Special Advocates (left) speaking about the program, which aims to "provide a powerful voice for abused and neglected children in Lane County." District Leader Mary Hoskins of Rotary Youth Leadership Awards spoke of a 2015 camp sponsored by the organization, which included leadership training, discussions and social activities. www.shoppelocal.biz B LOTTER Continued from page 5A Aug. 6 Prowler Caller reported a male with a white and black striped shirt was seen in the backyard of their home on Edison Ave. at around 9:30 p.m. The caller requested that a police offi cer clear the backyard. Aug. 7 Information A Eugene Police Department offi cer received information from the Looking Glass crisis line in Eugene who reported a male between 15 and 17 called and told the crisis worker he was being held hostage and that his parents had sealed the doors and windows. No one was able to get the caller’s name, but the offi cer contacted the subject in the lobby and re- ported no crime. Unlawful Entry into Motor Vehicle Caller explained that a tool had been taken from his company’s tow truck ear- lier in the day. No suspect information could be obtained. Aug. 8 Hit-and-Run Cottage Grove Police assisted State Police in a hit and run incident on the I5. 2 subjects from the same vehicle fl ed west on foot from the scene. Shots Fired Caller complained of shots being fi red from the fi eld next to his residence in the Beaver Hill area. Offi cers responded and checked the area and determined it was possible they came from the Shields Rd. area. Aug. 9 Traffi c Hazard Caller reported a boulder lying in the bike lane on the north side of the road way in front of the bowling alley on Row River Rd. Traffi c cones were placed around the boulder and a work order was placed for the rock to be removed on Monday. Suicidal Subject Caller reported that a woman had made threats to harm herself, and was in the downstairs bedroom of the residence on Third St. The subject had no access to weapons, and she was transported to the ER for a voluntary mental evaluation. Illegal Fireworks Two people called the police to com- plain about fi reworks going off in the area of Gateway Apartments. The offi cer re- ported that the fi reworks were being shot out of a pickup truck, but the truck was gone when police arrived at the scene. When it comes to looking ahead, look no further than your behind BY NED HICKSON News Media Corporation Y ou should be aware that the idea of promoting an important issue through a week of “National Awareness” has gotten...How can I put this tact- fully? Really stupid. There was a time when, in or- der to command the attention of our entire country for a whole week, you actually needed to have an issue that was important. It needed to be something that could save lives, improve soci- ety or, at the very least, boost the sale of Hallmark cards. But not anymore. I say this because, as you may or may not know, we’re in the middle of “National Psychic Week.” (For those of you who did not know this, I’m sorry — but there’s a good chance you are not psychic.) Accord- ing to one website, the purpose of each week-long focus is to: “dispel skepticism [of psychics] through factual awareness.” Thanks to an article that ap- peared in the Eugene Register- Guard, I have a better under- standing of how it might take an entire week to dispel all that skepticism — especially after reading about Ulf Buck, a blind psychic from Meldorf, Ger- many, who claims he can read people’s futures by feeling their naked buttocks. (Warning to women who fre- quent singles bars: Men who frequent singles bars may be reading this column.) According to Buck, creases representing success, career and artistic ability extend in- ward from the extremities of the buttocks (Similar to a map of Hollywood), while fi ve other creases radiate outward. Though Buck explained that those creas- es represent areas such as love and money, when asked about that crease radiating down the middle, he just said, “Ewww.” My point is, if you have a habit of sitting naked on wicker furniture, don’t waste your time getting a buttocks reading. No. My real point is that peo- ple no longer pay ANY attention to “National Awareness” weeks because the topics have gotten so dumb. For example, when’s the last time you observed “Na- tional Fresh Breath” week with any level of enthusiasm? Did you gargle more? Brush better? Buy an extra roll of Certs? (No one in THIS offi ce did, I can tell you that.) The problem is that there are no guidelines when it comes to petitioning for “National Aware- ness” status, which is why we have 40 states that participate in “Sky Awareness” week each year. First of all, do we really need a whole week? Unless you’re lying face down getting a buttocks reading, how long does it take to look straight up? Con- sidering that there are 10 states that don’t observe “Sky Aware- ness” week at all, we can con- clude that they either, 1) Think it’s dumb, 2) Put all of their ef- forts into having a great “Fresh Breath” week, or 3) Have no idea the sky actually exists. Which could explain the idea behind “Brain Awareness” week. That’s right. The same peo- ple who brought us “Mustard” week and “Bat Survey” week would like us to remember that we have brains even though, oddly enough, those same peo- ple scheduled “National Hot Dog” week to take place three months AFTER “National Mus- tard” week! The bottom line, of course, is that coming up with wisecracks about buttocks readings, while cheeky, requires more brain activity than most “Awareness Week” topics. Though I’m sure that’ll change some day, exactly when is anybody’s guess. Then again, they do say hindsight is 20/20. Just ask Ulf Buck... (Ned is a syndicated colum- nist with News Media Corpo- ration. His book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available on- line at Port Hole Publications, Amazon Books and Barnes & Noble. Write to him at nedhick- son@icloud.com) SAGINAW VINEYARD LIVE MUSIC EVERY FRIDAY NO COVER CHARGE 6-9pm Fri, August 14 ................................ Heavy Chevy– classic rock Fri, August 21 ..............................The Fret Boys – classic rock Fri, August 28 ........ The Hank Shreve Band – rock and blues Fri, September 4 ................................... Fiddlin’ Sue - suegrass Open daily 11 am for complimentary tasting. 942-1364 • www.saginawvineyard.com Looking Glass Community Services Find Local Businesses. ,QWURGXFLQJWKHQHZHVWZD\WR´QGWKH Find Local Businesses. businesses that mean the most to you. ,QWURGXFLQJWKHQHZHVWZD\WR´QGWKH businesses that mean the most to you. www.shoppelocal.biz www.shoppelocal.biz Find GREAT MONEY SAVING COUPONS from local businesses We serve youth ages 11-17 with; • Family Reconciliation • Emergency Shelter and Basic Needs 541-767-3823 19 N 6th Street • Cottage Grove www.lookingglass.us COMING SOON Your invited to some Junkin fun! Rusty & Primitive Treasures Flea Market Primitive, vintage, repurposed, garden & more Cottage Grove Sentinel Shoppe™ is a trademark of News Media Corp. Friday, August 28th 4-8pm Friday night early buying $5.00 Live Music by Th e How Long Jug Band Saginaw Vineyard • BBQ Dinner Available Saturday, August 29th 10-6pm SHADY OAKS NURSERY 77380 Hwy 99 S. Cottage Grove, OR Cottage Grove Sentinel +
