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About The Siuslaw news. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1960-current | View Entire Issue (March 18, 2017)
SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ SATURDAY, MARCH 18, 2017 11 A Congress get recess, kids get spring break — what about US?!? If you’re a student or edu- cator, you are probably get- ting excited about the approach of spring break in a few weeks! Wee-HOO! For students of all ages it means a week of crazy fun with little or no responsibility, whether A LICE B RAUER C HRISTIAN P RESCHOOL EASTER CANDY SEE’S EASTER CANDY FUNDRAISER Even Congress is already enjoying what is referred to as “recess.” Let’s be honest: If I performed as poorly at my job as they have, I would get what is referred to as “fired.” That being said, for the rest of us, spring break holds about as much anticipation as trash day or a release date for “Frozen 3.” This is particularly true for those of us with teenagers at home, many of whom will openly mock us each day by selfishly sleeping in. Then, in an added display of thought- lessness, they will still be in their pajamas and deciding on breakfast when we come home for lunch! The audaci- ty! Especially since they mis- spelled “audacity” on their last quiz! No, the time has come to expand spring break to include EVERYONE so we can all enjoy a week of unfet- tered fun. And naturally, when I say “everyone,” I real- ize there are certain positions that are so important to our infrastructure they can’t shut down without causing the nation to crumble. So I’m sorry: Cooks and bartenders, you’ll have to draw straws for Arbor Day. For the rest of us, however, Buying or Selling? I can help. We will be selling Easter candy from March 13th - March 24th. Th ere are various types of Easter candy to choose from. Please call or stop by the Preschool to order your Easter Candy! 21st and Spruce Street, Florence Meggan Haslett, Director 541-999-6026 Mercer Lake Road #2900 – Bare land located in the Enchanted Valley subdivision with po- tential lake view, and locked and gated Mercer Lake access to boat docks. 3 parcels totaling 6.2 acres. City water and power available. Seller terms possible. $229,999. #2486- 15601213 Melody Beaudro Principal Broker 541 991-2151 1749 Highway 101 • 541-997-1200 Let Paul show you a new car or truck. Stop by today! 2150 Hwy. 101 • Florence (541) 997-3475 • 1-800-348-3475 a week of relaxation during the nicest time of year is going to be fantastic! No longer will Cancun, Panama City and South Padre Island be the exclusive destinations for drunken college students and creepy professors offer- ing extra credit assignments. No way! From now on, they’ll have to share those warm beaches with parents inflating 8-foot plastic sea mammals for their young children or, in some cases, their horrified teenagers. “We’re too old to ride a plastic Shamu!” they’ll protest. But Dad will continue undeterred, blowing into an air nodule located in a highly questionable area of plastic whale anatomy. This will of course be embarrassing to his teens, who are already morti- fied by the fact that Dad wore his swim fins to the beach and sand-whipped 30 sun- bathers en route to a relative- ly quiet spot near a keg draped with bikini tops. That’s when Mom and Dad will begin spreading suntan lotion on themselves as if cre- ating a protective layer against the Ebola virus, slathering every crevice before putting on matching Panama Jack sun hats. They will then hand the lotion to their sobbing teens, assuming they haven’t already run off to drown themselves in the surf. What if your kids are already in college with spring break plans of their own? No problem! Surprise them at the beach! Chances are they used your credit card to secure their travel plans anyway; how hard can it be to get a room at the same hotel? Imagine the laughs you'll share when they realize the person yelling at everyone to stop staring at his daughter in the bikini contest is DAD! Yes, I think the need to implement a National Spring Break Week is something we can all agree is long overdue. For those who don’t? I have two words for you: Summer school. Ned is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. Write to him at nedhickson@ icloud.com Siuslaw bands warm up for the spring season The Siuslaw Middle School Beginning,Intermediate, Advanced Bands, Jazz Band and the Siuslaw High School Symphonic Band are launch- ing their spring schedules with a concert on March 20. The concert will be starting at 7 p.m. at the Florence Events Center. In addition to the new music presented there will be a raffle for a night at a luxury European-style bed and break- fast near Monroe, Ore. Funds that are raised will be used to pay for the rental of the Florence Events Center and to purchase new sheet music. The community is invited to come and hear what Florence’s young musicians have been learning in the new year. The Florence Events Center is at 715 Quince Street behind Safeway. Theater doors open at 6:30 and admission to the event is free. For more information, con- tact the Department of Bands at 541- 997-8241. CYAN MAGENTA YELLOW BLACK Ned Hickson you’re a fifth-grader planning a Spongebob Squarepants marathon to Bikini Bottom, or a college student planning a bikini bottom marathon of a different kind. If you’re an educator, it means a student-free week away from grading papers with so much red ink your desk resembles a sacrificial altar. Seriously, are they learning nothing between Tweets in class?!?
