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About The Siuslaw news. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1960-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 24, 2016)
6 A SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 24, 2016 I’m officially in training for the Extreme Ironing Olympics you keep in mind a simple Ned truth about the male species: Hickson Given enough time, any man performing a mundane task will find a way to hurt himself. And if you can hurt your- self doing it, then it’s practi- cally a sport already. Sure, bowling and golf might appear to be exceptions to this rule. But ask anyone who has ever jammed their finger in the ball return, or inadver- tently left a tee in their back pocket and they’ll tell you there is plenty of danger involved. As a man who irons, I I have reached the conclu- sion that most of the world’s ironing is now being done by men. I say this because it’s the only explanation I have for a sport called “extreme” ironing, which is actually being lobbied by “ironing enthusiasts” for the 2020 Olympics. And no, Michael Phelps won’t be allowed to compete. It’s easy to understand how extreme ironing evolved if know, firsthand, the danger that comes with pressing my wife’s favorite clothes. Especially if I use the wrong setting and turn what was once a flowery cotton blouse into our newest hand towel. Until recently, men who ironed were looked upon as being wimpy. This was a stig- ma left over from an earlier time when men brought home the bacon and women cooked it... then cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, washed the dishes, bathed the kids, and did all the laundry. Back then, men who refused to perform domestic chores were still called mas- culine things such as “The Breadwinner,” “King of the Castle,” and “Man of the House.” Generally by other men. Today, men who want to bring home the bacon — while avoiding any domestic chores — are called other things, such as “single” or “recently divorced.” As a result, we men have come up with a way to demonstrate our unquestion- able maleness by 1) taking a simple task and 2) making it as difficult as humanly possi- ble. This is the general idea behind “extreme” ironing, which, according to its web- site (www.extremeironing .com) “combines the excite- ment of an ‘extreme’ sport with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt.” Being a man, I can appreci- ate that kind of logic. Anyone woman can iron a pair of slacks; it takes a MAN to do it while jumping out of a plane. Because of this, I have decided to train for the 2018 Extreme Ironing World Championships, which my family has pledged its support for by providing me with as much ironing to do as possi- ble. In fact, as a demonstration of her unselfish commitment to my goal, my daughter recently purchased an entire new wardrobe, none of which is “wrinkle free.” My hope is that the experi- ence will draw us even closer together as a family. At least, once I can find them on the other side of this pile of ironing. (Ned is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. Write to him at nedhickson@ icloud.com.) Annual ‘From the Heart Dentistry’ event Thursday From the Heart Dentistry, an annual event established by The Korando Dental Group to serve marginalized populations in Florence with free dental care, is Thursday, Aug. 25. For more than 30 years, From the Heart Dentistry has changed lives through free dental care for those who need it most, but who just can’t afford it. This year’s event takes place from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. at The Korando Dental Clinic, 1705 22nd St. in Florence. Patients can have a thorough cleaning, extraction, or certain other repairs done at no cost. Patients are typically unin- sured, un- or under-employed, and/or homeless men and women in the community. From the Heart Dentistry volunteers believe each patient is deserving of respect and dig- nity, and needs just a little help that will have big results for their lives. Some patients who received corrective work have gone on to regain their confi- dence and get a job. From the Heart Dentistry is a nonprofit subsidiary of The Korando Dental Group. Financial contributions are tax-deductible. Even though all of the work done during From the Heart Dentistry is donated by nurses, hygienists, X-ray technicians, anesthesiol- ogists and doctors, contribu- T he tions from the public will buy additional cleaning supplies, anesthesia, and post-appoint- ment educational resources for patients so they can maintain their dental hygiene. People can contribute securely online by credit card at korandodentalgroup.com, make a contribution in person at the office on 22nd Street, or by mail to: From the Heart Dentistry, P.O. Box 159, Florence, OR, 97439. Bradley Berg, PC Trusts Wills Probate 1932 Pine Street, Suite B-3 P.O. Box 2676 Florence, Oregon 97439-0164 DENTURE SERVICES INC. Chick en Coop Here to serve your denture needs: O N M A P L E Dentures Immediate Dentures Implant Dentures Relines and Repairs We have NEW ARRIVALS for Summer! William Foster LD Sherry, Offi ce Manager FREE CONSULTATIONS Beach décor, Wall Signs, Primitive Décor, Jewelry, Candles, Birdhouses and more! 129 Maple Street , Old Town Florence Monday-Thursday 10am - 2 pm Relines and Repairs Same Day Or by special appointment Financing: Citi Health Card 12 Month no Interest 524 Laurel St. 541-997-6054 541-991-7739 2285 Highway 101 • Florence, OR 97439 (541) 997-8866 Visit us online: www.TheSiuslawNews.com. The Top Choice in Florence Real Estate. What’s happening in your area? Run a customized Market Watch report today! NEW LISTING WOW! Custom home, living on main level, wood fireplace, formal dining, sunroom. Upstairs are 2 bonus areas. 2 RV hookups. 3 car garage, firepit, picnic area, 1+ acre 3 Bdrm, 2 Ba 2787 sq ft $449,500 BH7332 ML#16518614 FEATURED LISTING Shelter Cove riverfront ocean view .36 acre lot. City utilities available, in premier site built home subdivision $159,000 BH7201 ML#16476715 PRICE REDUCED One of a kind 1 acre parcel, commanding views of the Siuslaw River, Old Town, dunes & historic bridge, plus frontage on river. Septic approval, well in-no pump $159,000 BH7288 ML#16510237 NEW LISTING Fawn Ridge East custom home, quality craftsmanship, many upgrades, move-in ready. Extra parking too. 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Beautifully remodeled approx. 5 years ago 2 bdrm, 2 bath 1463 sq ft $249,000 BH7275 ML#16613887 View active listings with our exclusive Market Watch based on what is important to you. • Search active listings by a geographic parameter such as a zip code, address, or centered around a particular point on a map • Easy-to-use interactive map with an adjustable radius • Detailed color-coded summary of each property Visit our website at www.RealEstateFlorence.com and click the Market Watch icon and start your search! ...or give us a call at 541-997-6000 and we’ll do the searching for you! Florence Branch | 1875 Hwy 101 | Florence, OR | (541) 997-6000 | www.RealEstateFlorence.com © 2016 BHH Affi liates, LLC. An independently operated subsidiary of HomeServices of America, Inc., a Berkshire Hathaway affi liate, and a franchisee of BHH Affi liates, LLC. 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