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About The Siuslaw news. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1960-current | View Entire Issue (July 20, 2016)
6 A SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, JULY 20, 2016 My kids know I don’t have a clue, geographically speaking sixth-grade history serves me this device would be about as useful to me as, say… A Superball. Because of this, my Amazing Race nightmare always starts and ends the same way, with everyone get- ting the first clue and then excitedly running off in the same direction. Except for me, who excitedly runs in the opposite direction — and off a cliff with my “clicker.” It’s a short dream but always traumatic, especially when I wake up lodged between the bed and the wall “clicking” my TV remote. Back when our oldest daughter entered middle school, I knew it was only a matter of time before my worst fears were realized and, as a parent, I would have to Ned — a faster trade route to Hickson WalMart. During my mini book tour to Watsonville, Calif., a few weeks ago, it became appar- ent that even as a soon-to-be 50-year-old man, I still have the directional sense of a standard windsock. If not for the GPS system in the rental car, I would probably be outside of Reno looking for an on-ramp to Sacramento right now. It’s a disorder many famous historical figures also suffered from, including Christopher Columbus, who discovered America com- pletely by accident while looking for — if memory of I’m the kind of person who must enter and leave some- where the same exact way in order to keep from getting lost, even if it means walking backwards out of a public facility, such as the men’s room at Safeco Field. I’ve actually had night- mares about being a contest- ant on The Amazing Race. In it, I am partnered with my friend David, who spent six years in the Marines and therefore still refers to dis- tances as “clicks” — a unit of measure based on kilome- ters and the use of a special clicking device. Were I trying to find my way out of enemy territory, together, usually with some parts of Hawaii missing because, as I explained, they sank. “C’mon, Dad. I need your help. I can’t figure the answer to this,” she said, pointing to the last question on her sheet: Using this flat map, deter- mine the distortion ratio between these two continents. “OK, looks like the Soviet Union and Africa,” I said helpfully. “Soviet Union?” she asked. “Yeah,” I said, tapping what I knew to be the world’s largest landmass, not count- ing Shaquille O’Neal. “That’s Russia, Dad.” Things weren’t off to a good start but I pressed on. According to the formula, all we had to do was determine the coordinates of the farthest points on each continent, add them up, factor in the distor- tion ratio, then decide how much a “D” on this assign- ment was going to affect her overall grade. As it turned out, we actual- ly DID figure out the correct answer. Don’t ask me how because I honestly don’t remember. Heck, I don't even remem- ber how I got back from Watsonville... Ned is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His book, “Humor at the Speed of Life,” is available online at Port Hole Publications, Amazon Books and Barnes & Noble. Write to him at nedhickson@icloud.com Learn ‘Bollywood Fusion’ dance at Elks Lodge Watershed Council to discuss coho fishery suspension During the Siuslaw Watershed Council (SWC) general meeting set for July 27 at 6:30 p.m., the topics will be “The Salmon River Experiments: Lessons for Intelligent Tinkering in Salmon Ecosystems” and “Aquatic Invasive Species and the Oregon Lake Watch Program.” SWC’s meeting will be held at the Honeyman State Park Meeting Hall (big yurt), 5543 Canary Road. Doors open at 6 p.m. and the meeting gets underway at 6:30 p.m. The meeting agenda includes a presentation by Dan Bottom, who has lead research efforts in the Salmon and Columbia Rivers to under- stand what is behind the changes in salmon populations and the impacts of human efforts to reverse declines in help her with geography. When she opened her geography book and started talking about longitude and latitude, the prime meridian and flat map distortion, I knew it was time for me to buckle down and, as her father, at least try to get out of it by faking a seizure. Seeing her expression, I quickly realized I had already used this technique when asked about “where babies come from,” “algebra,” “geometry,” and why her favorite shirt was now tie- dyed. The truth was, I used to be good at helping her with geography, back when we could pour all the major con- tinents and countries onto the floor and put them back A Bollywood Fusion Class is being held Thursdays from 10 to 11 a.m. at the Florence Elks Lodge. Bollywood Fusion is a playful dance form that has evolved from the Hindi Culture in India. As the film industry in Bombay has salmon populations. Bottom will be sharing les- sons learned, including the results of the most recent work to understand the impact of coho hatchery program sus- pension. Rich Miller, from Portland State University’s Center for Lakes and Reservoirs, will dis- cuss aquatic invasive species in lakes. This includes harmful algae blooms and a new Lake Watch volunteer monitoring program. Miller will also conduct a Lake Watch training in the afternoon form 2 to 5 p.m. at the meeting site. Interested persons can sign up at www.pdx.edu/oregon- lake-watch. As always, the SWC board of directors and executive director will give project updates and announcements of upcoming activities. grown, so has the dance style in their films. Bollywood Fusion takes on a mixture of belly dance, Indian folk, clas- sical and modern jazz. The music is very light- hearted and many of the moves are simple. For a typical Bollywood DENTURE SERVICES INC. class, the women wear coin belts/hip scarves like in belly dance. Many students enjoy wearing ankle bells, too. For more information or to Summer Fun at Sandpines Here to serve your denture needs: We are hosting a Micro Beer Tasting Dentures Immediate Dentures Implant Dentures Relines and Repairs Friday, July 22, 6-8ish Only $40 per person William Foster LD Sherry, Offi ce Manager FREE CONSULTATIONS Monday-Thursday 10am - 2 pm Relines and Repairs Same Day Or by special appointment Financing: Citi Health Card 12 Month no Interest 524 Laurel St. 541-997-6054 attend the class, ontact Eileen Angilletta by email at eangilletta@yahoo.com or visit her Facebook page The Dancing Divas. Please call 541-997-4623 x 106 to reserve your spot Featuring THREE CREEKS BREWERY OF SISTERS, OREGON Offering Three Micro Beers • Live Music • Food • Putting Contest • Chipping Contest • Merchandise giveaways • Chance to Win Free Rounds of Golf The Grill & Lounge at Sandpines Visit us online: www.TheSiuslawNews.com. 1201 35th Street at Kingwood, Florence Highway 101 & 35 St. 541-997-4623 (541)997-6000 www.RealEstateFlorence.com Customize your own property search. View active listings with our exclusive Market Watch based on what is important to you! NEW LISTING Old Town Florence Stillwater Condo. Riverfront w/expansive River, Dune & Bridge views. 2 Bdrm + den, 2 Ba 1369 sq ft $295,000 BH7300 ML#16140167 NEW LISTING Extensive Ocean & Sunset views from large wall of windows. Ideal vacation rental or for large family gatherings. 5 Bdrm, 2 Ba 2240 sq ft $425,000 BH7299 ML#16327441 NEW LISTING Seclusion & Privacy among the trees w/views of Mercer Lake. 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All new hardiplank siding, new granite counters 3 Bdrm, 2 Ba 2283 sq ft $599,900 BH7274 ML#16579718 PRICE REDUCTION Riverfront Old Town Bay Bridge Condo end unit. Panoramic River & Sand dune views. Beautifully remodeled approx. 5 years ago 2 bdrm, 2 bath 1463 sq ft $249,900 BH7275 ML#16613887 • Search active listings by a geographic parameter such as a zip code, address, or centered around a particular point in a map area • Easy-to-use interactive map with an adjustable radius y of each p p y • Detailed color-coded summary property To create your own Market Watch report, go to www.RealEstateFlorence.com. Florence Branch | 1875 Hwy 101 | Florence, OR | (541) 997-6000 | www.RealEstateFlorence.com
