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About The Siuslaw news. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1960-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 24, 2016)
12 A SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 2016 How to prepare yourself for having a teen (bowler) After seven weeks of attending our oldest son’s high school bowling tourna- ments, I’m passing along a few tips to parents who may find themselves in a similar situation. And by “situation,” I mean contemplating suffo- cating themselves with an empty bowling bag after lis- tening to 24 lanes of crashing pins for five hours. First, invest in a tall fold- ing chair. The taller the better. In fact, consider purchasing a portable lifeguard stand if possible. That’s because get- panic, such as an earthquake or 300-game, it’s doubtful anyone will survive this cata- strophic folding-chair col- lapse. For this reason, I suggest avoiding the mayhem by investing in that portable life- guard stand. Sure, it may draw some stares and grum- bling. Especially as you arrive moments before the tournament and climb to your seat well above those who clamored for prime territory when the doors opened at 6:30 a.m. Keep in mind that bowling tournaments are played “baker” style, meaning that your child will only bowl two out of every 10 frames — or 36 times over the course of 160 frames. Or approximately one hour of actually bowling during a five-hour tourna- ment. That leaves four hours to fill, which you can do by: 1) Having food and drinks delivered to your lifeguard stand 2) Calculating equations to determine how much your child actually bowls during tournaments 3) Watching every bowler's special “strike pose.” If you’re not familiar with the strike pose, it’s the signa- ture move bowlers give after getting a strike. Think of it as a subtle gesture to let other bowlers know you are on... your... GAME! THRIFTY THURSDAYS! Western Lane Ambulance District Ambulance Runs Feb. 1-7 Date Time 2/1/16 2/1/16 2/1/16 2/1/16 2/1/16 2/1/16 2/1/16 2/1/16 2/2/16 2/2/16 2/2/16 2/2/16 2/2/16 2/2/16 2/2/16 2/3/16 2/3/16 2/3/16 2/3/16 2/3/16 2/3/16 2/3/16 2/3/16 2/3/16 2/4/16 2/4/16 2/4/16 2/4/16 2/4/16 2/5/16 2/5/16 2/5/16 2/5/16 2/5/16 2/5/16 2/6/16 2/6/16 2/6/16 2/6/16 2/6/16 2/6/16 2/7/16 2/7/16 0900 0903 0925 1141 1257 1621 2049 2236 0217 0514 0655 0934 1102 1604 1823 0908 1023 1133 1352 1400 1617 1700 1838 1925 0144 0305 0430 1841 2358 1159 1218 1525 1540 2119 2144 0403 0842 1115 1320 1542 2220 1005 1025 Area Hwy 101 Hwy 36 Spruce St. Village St. Hwy 101 Rhododendron Drive 17th Street Hwy 101 Hwy 101 20th St. Spruce St. 16th St. Oak St. Oak St. 9th St. Mariners Lane Hwy 101 Munsel Lake Road Hwy 126 Glenbrook Circle 12th St. Transfer To Eugene 21st St. Transfer To Eugene Lake Point Drive Rosemary Court Transfer To Eugene Rhododendron Drive 9th St. Nopal Street 35th St. Hwy 101 Hwy 101 Wecoma Loop 21st St. 12th St. Rhododendron Drive Dahlin Road Spruce St. Hwy 126 Oak St. Oak St. Oak St. Type Standby Medical Medical Medical Medical Trauma Trauma Medical Medical Medical Trauma Medical Trauma Trauma Medical Medical Medical Medical Medical Trauma Trauma Medical Medical Medical Medical Trauma Medical Medical Trauma Medical Trauma Trauma Trauma Trauma Trauma Medical Medical Trauma Medical Medical Medical Medical Medical Hair Cuts $15.00 Manicures $15.00 Pedicures $25.00 Brow Wax $5.00 Lip Wax $5.00 Full Set Acrylics $35.00 Colors $10.00 Off Weaves $15.00 Off The Pink Parlor Salon Think Pink-Be Pink Inside Oregon Coast Tatoo with Kylie! 1379 Rhododendron Drive, Suite A Schedule yo ur appointmen t now to insu re your spot! 541-999-5678 541-902-5158 For example, pulling an imaginary pistol from your holster and “shooting down” the pins (The Gun Slinger) or dropping to your knees and pretending to tie the legs of a calf before throwing your hands in the air (The Calf Roper). I counted 25 varia- tions, including The Maestro, The Thor’s Hammer Slam, The Grenade Toss and The John Cena — when a bowler waves his hand in front of his face while yelling “YOU CAN’T SEE ME!” at the fall- en pins. The truth is, you can’t un- see something like that. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t like bowling. In an age when kids spend more time Tweeting and SnapChatting than having actual conversations, anything that encourages them to get out and socialize for several hours without an electronic device is a great thing — and bowling is an activity that is as much about socializing as it is about being competitive. However, for the uninitiat- ed parents of a teen bowler, it’s good to know what you’re getting into. Especially once they begin practicing their strike pose. Ned is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His book, “Humor at the Speed of Life,” is available online at Port Hole Publications, Amazon Books and Barnes & Noble. Write to him at nedhickson@icloud.com ...need a friend? Meet Marley Marley came into the shelter very emaciated and missing hair due to a bad yeast infection. With good food and medication he is getting better. It is unclear at this time if his hair will ever fully come back. The family had an older dog at one time and they got along well, they were unclear if he would do well with dogs his own age. He has a lot of energy and would do best in a home with children 12 and up. If you would like to meet Marley any of his friends, please visit us at: FLORENCE HUMANE SOCIETY 2840 Rhododendron Drive • Florence • 541-997-4277 your source for natural medicine When you want a doctor... • who listens to you • treats you as a whole person • provides a safe, effective treatment plan www.fl orencehumane.org This message brought to you by: Siuslaw News + Call Dr. Mark Immel, Naturopathic Physician 541-902-8860 www.TheWellspringClinic.com www.shoppelocal.biz CYAN MAGENTA YELLOW BLACK Ned Hickson ting a prime seat to watch your child bowl depends on how willing you are to take the life of a complete stranger. Getting a good location is similar to the Oklahoma Land Rush. Once the doors open, parents stampede (some on actual horseback) to the most valuable territory: the mid- point between 1) the center of the bowling lanes, 2) the snack shack and 3) the rest- rooms. Parents then frantically stake their claim by jamming giant folding chairs together until the result is something similar to how homes are wedged together in poor sec- tions of Hong Kong. Should something unexpected cause a