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About The Siuslaw news. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1960-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 18, 2015)
8 A SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2015 Deep-frying your turkey? A fire extinguisher is a great accompaniment Ned Hickson The human brain. Most of us have one. For those who don’t, there are warning labels. Unfortunately, these warn- ings don’t appear on actual humans. Instead, they are issued by the Consumer Product Safety Commission, which has the monumental task of thinking up ways stu- pid people might injure them- selves using standard house- hold items. While the commission generally stays ahead of the curve with the help of researchers, lab studies and a select group of retired circus chimps, from time to time a hot product is embraced so quickly by the general public that there’s simply no time to warn them that actually embracing it could result in serious injury. This past holiday season, according to the safety com- mission, reports of house fires involving large men submerging whole turkeys into deep fryers has risen dra- matically. This prompted the com- mission to issue a special, multi-paged consumer alert called: Fryer, Fryer Pants on Fire Using this handy pamphlet, I’ve organized a safety checklist from the American National Standards Institute, which oversees turkey-fryer safety standards, as well as any consumer product that includes the three compo- nents of what safety experts call the Triangle of Fire: 1) A heat source. 2) A meat product. 3) An intoxicated male. This brings us to safety tip number one: Never leave your turkey unattended Studies show that once the initial excitement of watching hot oil has passed, men quickly get bored and wander off in search of the nearest flat-screen TV. So, as a pre- caution, the institute suggests that wives keep an eye on their turkey at all times — or, at the very least, until he’s done using the deep fryer. Tip number two: Always use turkey fryers outdoors Given the opportunity, men will set up their turkey fryer in the living room in order to watch football while cooking. This is dangerous because, should his team score at the wrong moment, there’s a good chance the turkey will get spiked into the fryer. And hey, even if you man- age to avoid this hazardous situation, there’s also your home’s resale value to con- sider — meaning that, should you ever decide to sell, describing your home to a potential buyer as having “three bedrooms, two baths, and a pleasant fried-turkey smell” will, in many cases, end negotiations. And finally, tip number three: Don’t move fryer while it is in operation You should always wait until the oil is completely cooled before moving your fryer. The only exception to this, of course, is if your wife catches you cooking in the living room… Ned is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His book, “Humor at the Speed of Life,” is available online at Port Hole Publications, Amazon Books and Barnes & Noble. Write to him at nedhickson @icloud.com. Hot dogs, burgers to benefit FAHS Saturday Hot dogs and hamburgers hot-off-the-grill, plus home- made pastries, will be available Saturday, Nov. 21, in the Grocery Outlet parking lot. This event, from 11 a.m. until 2 p.m., raises money to provide care for homeless cats and dogs at the Florence Area Humane Society’s no- kill shelter. Hamburgers cost $4, hot dogs and Polish dogs are $3. Customers may add cheese to any order for 50 cents. Cold drinks are $1 and include a variety of soft drinks plus bottled water. This event also features homemade pastries by FAHS volunteers. FAHS supporters are also asked to participate in the “Stuff the Van” project by donating dog and cat food, which the Humane Society distributes to families who are struggling to afford to feed their companion ani- mals, especially during the winter months. Grocery Outlet owner Woody Woodbury sponsors this fundraising event for FAHS and donates all of the food. This event is the final sale during the 2015 calendar year. The Grocery Outlet-spon- sored fundraising event will resume in February 2016. Florence in Bloom HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE November 20th, 9am-4pm Florence In Bloom would like to invite you to join us as we tastefully welcome the 2015 Holiday Season. We are grateful to the community of Florence for supporting Florence In Bloom and would olike to offer 10% off any cash and carry purchase made on this special day. Join us for holiday treats, enter for a chance to win Flowers For A Year and pick up our gift to you: a 2016 Floral Calendar (supplies are limited) K athleen & Nina’s Now taking orders for Thanksgiving Pies. Last day to order is Nov. 24. Last pick-up is Nov. 25. 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SNICKER OR PEANUT BUTTER PIE NEW ITEMS $4.95 Every Month Mo's has brought in special "Motivation for Kids" BBQ PORK RIBS: Baby Back Pork Ribs with tables which raise money for local charities that are devoted to helping the wellbeing of local children. month Headstart James This Gang BBQ Sauce of Florence is the local charity being honored. T hanksgiving Dinner Surfside Restaurant Please Join us Reservations Necessary Feel at Home . Enjoy the Deliciousness $23.75 Adults. $19.75 Seniors $13.75 Children under 10 the BLACKENED SALMON CEASAR SALAD Mo’s Old Town, Florence • Daily 11 am - 8 pm ® Mo’s Town, Florence • Daily 11 am - 8 pm Serving Old Bowls of comfort for Over 50 Years Serving Bowls of comfort for Over 50 Years • 541-997-2185 Call Hours: 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. Breakfast: 7 a.m. -10 a.m. 541-997-8263 For Reservations.
