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About The Siuslaw news. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1960-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 18, 2015)
8 A SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2015 Cats have their own wine but Bowser can crack a brewsky Ned Hickson As you might expect, since writing about Japan’s new line of wines made specifically for cats a couple of weeks ago, I have received dozens of emails from unhappy readers denouncing what they believe is blatant discrimination against members of the canine population. All of them feel wine for cats is a really bad idea that will only increase the air of superiority cats already have. Coincidentally, most of these emails arrived through my “Fetch” account. Here are just a few exam- ples: “If I hear Mittens talk about the ‘rich bouquet’ of her stu- pid wine one more time, I'm leaving something with rich bouquet in her cat dish.”— Buford “My sense of smell is 100 times greater than my owner’s. She doesn’t have to smell Mr. Whiskers’ horrible wine breath. Well, I DO! Then she gets mad when I barf on the carpet.” — Fifi “Cats are dumb.” — Butch They say for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, meaning that for every cat sipping a glass of wine there is a dog lapping up a special libation. And not just from the toilet. As it turns out, dogs have had Bowser Beer (www.bowserbeer.com) avail- able to them since 2012, long before “Mr. Frisky” ever thought of getting stemware, comparing tannins or going out and spraying the town. In the same way cat wine is made specifically for a cat’s dis- criminating taste, the makers of Bowser Beer have created a flavor profile that compli- ments a dog’s natural pallet — meaning the only thing that isn’t in the brew is an actual shipping pallet. Ok, so that’s not entirely accurate. It’s made mostly of chicken broth and malt barley — flavors that dogs find intoxicating. Which is good because (and don’t tell dogs this) there’s no actual alcohol content in Bowser Beer. Not that it matters; as we all know, dogs are big hams who can easily be mistaken for being intoxicated anyway. Especially if there’s a treat involved. The same can be said for most men actually, which could explain why we are best friends. The truth is, I have been known to run circles in anticipation of bacon. I am not ashamed to admit this. Although tripping over our dog, who was running circles in the opposite direction, isn’t something I often bring up in conversation. I’m sure just like me, many of you were unaware dogs had their own beer. I think it’s because, unlike cats, dogs generally don’t make a big deal out of things. Table scraps, dry kibble or sirloin steak, dogs are equally happy and appreciative. Give them their own beer and they take it in stride. Without fanfare. No frills. Pop the cap and enjoy. Not cats. Having their own wine meant involving a foreign country. Import fees. A press agent and translators. Remove the cork and let it breathe first because: Hey, we're not animals! In the end, the fact that dogs are beer drinkers and cats are wine drinkers illustrates a fun- damental difference between them. For the most part, those who drink beer may have their preferences, but won’t let beer snobbery get in the way of having a cold one if it’s offered. Dogs are the same way; if it’s handed to them, they’ll consume it. Unless it’s vegetables. And who can blame them? Cats, on the other hand, will purposely eat something they hate just so they can throw it up in your shoes. As I’ve mentioned before, we have a cat and two dogs in our home. I can tell you we have no intention of introduc- ing either cat wine OR dog beer into what is already a del- icate balance of power between our pets similar to The Cold War — something that would escalate the moment we allowed our dogs to open a cold one. Should that happen, I don’t even want to think of what the cat would leave in my shoes. Especially if she’s had too much cat wine. Ned is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His book, “Humor at the Speed of Life,” is available online at Port Hole Publications, Amazon Books and Barnes & Noble. Write to him at nedhickson@icloud.com Library to announce ‘Best Books of 2014’ Siuslaw Public Library will present its popular annual Best Books list Tuesday, Feb. 24, beginning at 2 p.m., at the main branch of the library in the Bromley Room. This hour-long program is exciting, fast-paced, and covers sixty books in sixty minutes. The list of best books is once again prepared by adult servic- es librarian Kevin Mittge. Each year, Mittge solicits recommendations for the list from library patrons, staff, vol- unteers and national critics. And, being a prolific reader himself, Mittge adds his own favorites. The event is free and all genres are included in the lightning-speed book sum- maries. This fun, annual program is a must for both avid and casual readers. Plan to attend the pro- gram to check the list for the top 2014 favorites. One book that Library patrons raved about in 2014 was Liane Moriarty’s “Big Little Lies.” And topping the critic’s list was “Lila,” Marilynne Robinson’s most recent work. Every attendee is guaranteed to learn about a new interesting author or intriguing book dur- ing the presentation and will leave with a Best Book list to take home. For those unable to attend, the library’s Best Books List will be available at the Library following the program. When asked what he enjoyed most about compiling this year’s Best Books list, Mittge replied “Learning about all the great books out there that I haven’t read yet but now want to.” Everyone is sure to find a new favorite read on his list. For more information about FAHS seeks donations to purchase pet toys Help the Florence Area Humane Society (FAHS) raise money to purchase Sensible Harnesses and Kong toys for dogs at its facility. These items will help with important train- ing and enrichment programs. There are two ways to donate: 1. Donate funds directly to FAHS (as a shelter, FAHS will be able to purchase harnesses and Kongs at a substantial dis- count). Specify on your check that the money is for the “Harness and Kong Toy Fundraiser.” Alternatively, you may drop off a check at Surf City Dog Training. 2. Purchase a Sensible Harness or Kong toy and bring it to the shelter. Sensible Harnesses can be purchased at Raining Cats and Dogs in Old Town. Even a small donation can make a difference thanks to discounts offered to shelters by these manufacturers. For example, $5 will pur- chase one Kong and $14 will purchase a Sensible Harness. TSUNAMI SIREN WARNING INFORMATION If you are on the beach and the Tsunami Sirens are activated, move to high ground immediately and tune into FM 106.9 KCST If you are in the inundation zone and the Tsunami Sirens are activated, you should consider precautionary evacua- tion to one of the assembly areas and tune into FM 106.9 KCST If you are not on the beach or in the inundation zone, you do not need to take any action The All Clear “Westminster Chimes” means the danger has passed for the beach DO NOT CALL 911 UNLESS YOU HAVE AN EMERGENCY Follow S IUSLAW N EWS on Twitter! the program, visit the Siuslaw Public Library, call 541-997- 3132 or visit the library’s web- site at www.siuslawlibrary.org. Attractive 3bd., 2ba. 1,413 sq. ft . in desirable Mariners Village Subdivision. Vaulted ceilings, open living area, natural light. Ownership includes 39 Spyglass Lane MLS# 13479686 use of secure R.V. $204,900 541-830-5368 storage yard. Come see this move in ready home today! 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