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About Heppner gazette. (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912 | View Entire Issue (April 8, 1909)
Get Rid of Spring Humors xmpure or effete matters accumulated in the blood during the winter cause in the spring such disfiguring and painful troubles as boils, pimples, and other eruptions, also weakness, loss of appetite, that tired feeling. The best medicine to take is Hood's Sarsaparilla, which thoroughly cleanses the blood, and effects permanent cures by giving healthy func tional activity to the stomach, liver, kidneys, bowels and skin. Hood's Sarsaparilla effects its wonderful cures, not simply because it contains sarsaparilla, but because it combines the utmost remedial values of more than 20 different -ingredients, each greatly strengthened and en riched by this peculiar combination. These ingredients are the very rem edies that successful physicians prescribe for the same diseases and ail ments. There is no real substitute for Hood's Sarsaparilla. If urged to buy any preparation said to be "just as good," you may be sure it is in ferior, costs less to make, and yields the dealer a larger profit. Begin taking Hood's Sarsaparilla today, in the usual liquid form or in tile chocolated tablets known as Sarsatabs. 100 Doses One Dollar. Nothing: Uncertain About Jack. Nan Well, there's one thing about Jack, anyhow. He speaks right out what he thinks. You always know where to find him. Fan That's so. I nearly always find him here when I come. Only One "BROMO QUININE" That is LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. Look for the signature of E. W. GROVE. Usod tho world over to Cure a Cold in One Day. 25c. Where the Trouble Was. "Old chap, why don't you make up your mind to marry and settle down?" "You chump, it takes two minds to do that, and I haven't quite got Freda's mind made up yet." Chicago Tribune. CASTOR I A lor Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Signature of No Baals. "Miss Fimmie, may I er call on you?" "No, indeed, sir; you have known me six months, and you've never sent me picture postcard.'' One on Lucie Uirnm. City Niece Well, Uncle IHrain, how did you enjoy the tea with the slices of lemon in it? Uncle Hiram Tea? Gosh, gal! thought that was pure out-and-out cir cus lemonade. JtaJTICUBED HOTEL WAITERS, ZXxx$Somx Latest Innovation In the Service oil a Leading Caravansary, Manicured hotel servants will be pre sented to-day to the guests of the Wol cott and It will be the initial presenta tion of a flriger-nall condition that no other hotel in New York or in the United States for that matter-ever XonVUiA vmw has considered, the New York World VlO VUV WiV VYUVUUUM says. The management has been" im- fftVup Yif.Wp4' fApfmCPQ. nroaaprf rVir thr, nr fn.,r nmnrha with ""v wwwvswj, wms-WVJWU ' - ' v . r-n . the general untidiness of waiters, bell- SV8l6VCl GllCCU(XV ? boys and other employes exclusive of . . J . J the clerical staff and yesterday the fol- QSSlSvS OUW XuQVCTCQTUUlQ Limited Ambition. Nargus Say, Bonis, if you expect as an author to be one of the foremost Bonis I don't. I'd be satisfied to be merely one of the six best. WE HAVE INQUIRIES For Farms in the Northwest from people who are on the way from the East and Middle West and can place you in touch with buyers with money. Let us hear what you have for sale ATLAS LAND COMPANY 420 Lumber Exchange Building PORTLAND OREGON In Search of Information. Tete de Pickpocket Wot ye lookin' at that paper fur? Watty de Winder Smasher I want to find out whuther them di'monds I lifted out o' that plate glass front las' night is wuth $3 or $5,000. Chicago Tribune, ad Caie. "I never was so shocked in my life,' said Mrs. Lapsling. "Pearley Winter green is trying to get a divorce from bej husband. She says she has found om that they made a mistake when they wen married ; he isn't her real infinitive." Gluttony. The octopus' appetite clamored for pulp Over the country he hungrily strode. He swallowed a forest or two at a gulp And picked his teeth with the fork; of the road. Chicago Tribune. There Are Exceptions. Some necessary things, you'll note, Can never be done by rule. You can't learn how to milk a goat At a correspondence school. It Will Cost You to write us for samples of the bent all wool 15 Suits ever produced. Made to con form io your exact measure. We send you samples, measurement blanks, and absolutely guarantee style, fit and work manship or your money back. WRITE US TODAY Salem Woolen Mills 7th & Stark Sts. PORTLAND, ORE Losing- No Opportunity. "Now that we're to be under civil ser vice," said the crossroads postmaster. ' and I may have to take an examination some day, I'd better be picking up all the information I can.' Thereupon he proceeded to read all the postal cards. Chicago Tribune. What Could She Dot The Young Man I wish to thank you, sir, for giving me your assistance in persuading your daughter to marry me. The Old Man Sir, I was violently opposed to the match. The Young Man I know it. Cleve land Lender. lie Explains. "Why is it, professor," asked the young man with the bad eye, "that when Chris topher Columbus discovered this country he didn't settle down and stay here?" "Ioiibtless you are aware, my young friend," answered the professor, "that the Spanish form of his name wag Christoval Colon." lowing pronunciamento was issued : "Beginning on this date every em ploye of the Wolcott who comes in contaet with the guests of the hotel will report dally to Miss Cora M. Par ker, the official manicure, to have his or her finger nails clipped, cleaned. polished and filed. "This order Is mandatory and no ex cuse will be accepted for disobedience except Illness or other excuse which the management shall deem to be rea sonable. "A room has been provided for. the manicure near the waiters' dressing room, and she will be on duty from 8:30 a. m. until 5 p. m. "No charge will be made for the service, which tends to promote cleanli ness and which will appeal to the guests of the hotel. There is no rea son why the finger nails should not re ceive the same attention as the hands. The promulgation of the edict was followed by two waiters making Im mediate application for treatment Serath Carros and Antlpolus Choganos. Carros has a large hand with spatu- lated fingers caused by close attention to the strings of a violin and to bal ancing salvers on his finger tips. Cha- ganos has a long, slender hand, with oval nails. Each candidate was polish ed off in ten minutes. "Fine," said Carros. "I like him. The younga lade, she very nice. Don't hurt, Just a little tickle." To ctet fe bcxieucAaV MA Ml irrT1 IO n-n t-TW TUf CALIFORNIA Fig Syrup Co. SOLD BY LEADING DRUGGISTS 50Vv BOTTLE An estimate by the geological survey places the country's production of Port land cement in 1908 at 40,000,000 barrels, a decrease from 1007 of nearly 20 per cent. fa the Ecstatic Stasre. The Girl (passing ber fair band over his brow) There, Arthur! Have charmed your headache away? Arthur You have, dear J You're my watch Hazel ! PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case of Itching;, Blind, Bleeding- or Protruding- Piles in 6 to 14 days or money refunded. 60c The Frofeseor. The Doctor I can't help feeling sorry for my friend Iluddleford. He owned quite an extensive chain of golf parks, and he's JuBt gone into bankruptcy. The Professor I see ; his chain was no stronger-than his weakest links. Chicago Tribune. CITC Ht. Vitas' Danes ana ' onrons uisessos ptrma 11 1 J gently cared by Dr. i .ino's Great Nerve Re storer. Send for 7EEI $J 00 trial bottle and treatise. Dr. B. H. Kiln. Ld.. 831 Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa. .Lines. Amateur Dramatist Well, you've seen my play. Tell me what you think of it. Dramatic Critic I will. I'll give you tome straight talk. Amateur Dramatist Straight talk? Great Scott ! Are you going to draw the deadly parallel on me? PE-RU-NA For Cramps In the Stomach of Sis Years' Htnndlng. "I was troubled with cramps in the stomach for six years. I tried many kinds of medicine, also was treated by three doctors. "They said that I had nervous dys pepsia. I took the medicine for two years, then I got sick again and gavt up all hopes of getting cured. "I saw a testimonial of a man whose case was similar to mine, being cured by Peruna, so thought I would give it a trial. I procured a bottle at once, and commenced taking it. "I have taken nineteen bottles, and am entirely cured. I believe Peruna is all that is claimed for it." Mrs. J. C. Jamison, 6 1 Marchant St., Watson. ville, Cal. P N U No. 15-09 HEN writing- to advertisers please mention this paper. In case of accidents, cuts, wounds, burns. scalds, sprains, bruises, etc., nothing will so quickly tnke awav all pain and soreness as llanilins Wizard 0.1. Unsatisfied Lona;ina. 'I've often thought," Mrs. Lapsling was saying, "I should love to see that wonderful atmospheric freenomenon they call the garage in the desert." Mothers will find Mrs. WlnslnWs Rnnthfno Bvrut the best rRTTiedv to iiba fn their r.hildrAn during the teething period. TOWER'S FISH BRAND vWV WATERPROOF -r.ii.i7r. ZlsVal GARMENTS I . t-o v i mi l i. VMM mm - , are cut on larger patterns, designed ,to give the wearer: me utmost comrori GHT-DURABLE-CLEAX GUARANTEED xaIERPRO SUITS 322 SLICKERS 322 uuifniCMnrn nx mt mts mr w of ai ruM HNal "mm A I TOW (0 tOSTON 111. TOW UWsISS CO. UWff ti T0S0N10CA "Yes. sir4' "Well, a colon does not mean a full stop. We will return now, young gentle men, to the consideration of the lesson, Chicago Tribune. Mia Claim to Distinction. The rising statesman on his wedding tour was revisiting the scenes of his childhood. "This, my dear," he said to his bride. is the old homestead wbers I was born. Do you see that ancient log cabin?" "Yes." "You have no idea what strange emo tions fill me when I look at that little cabin, Myrtilla. I I wasn't born in it, you know." Do You Hear Well ? The Stolz Electrophone A New, Scientific ana rractical invention for Those Who Are Deaf or Partially Deaf-May Now Be Tested in Your Own Home Ieaf or pnrtially deaf people may now make f month's trial of the Stole Elert ronhone at hnnu l ms is unusually Im portant news for the dear, rorbr thia plan the tins selection of the one completely ssiiSTaciory nearini aid ia m de easy ana ineiDensivn for av, eryone Thianewin rent ion (IT. 8. Patent Ho. 7S1.515) renders unnecessary such (in stantly, ciumay and frequently harmful . I T I devices as trumpet. I AW I J noma, tubes, ear I WT-ttaaaf drums, fsns. et . It I - I is a tiny electric tel. If ephone that fits on f- r ta. trie ear. ana which, ""l I . h inatsnt It is ap- I - I plied, mauniflea the f I sound waves ia such Xlartrnpams a ass-less "saner aa to cauae oupirtoM (Aan nt-alaitrt aatonishlna in- - crease in the clear ness of all sounds. It overcomes the bucains sad roaring ear nnlaea. and also so constantly and electrically exercises the vital parts of the ear that, usually, the natural, unaided hearing itself is gradually restored. Prominent Business Man's Opinion STOI.Z KI.MTHOPHONE ., Chicaan-I am fdesaed to ssy that the Klectrophone is very snt rtu'tnrv lilt 1 n m am I n mirm a n .4 . in K ins mialitlo makra it PKKKKKA HLK TO ANY I HA VK TRIED, and I believe I h.v. trirf all nr them. 1 can recommend it to si I Demons who have defective he.rins.-M W. HOYT. Wholesale Urn. oer. Michigan Ave. and River Ht . Chicaao. Write or call at our Chicago office for particu lars of our personal home teat offer and list of rominent ennorsers wno will answer inquiries, 'hvaicians cordially invited to inveatlntji. Al. dress or call (call If youoaal, STOLE EUUTROPHONE CO, 1880 Strain list. Oscars Branch Offices: Phiisde phi a, Cincinnati. Indian- spoils, ntisnurg. ixm angeies, nesitie. Ues Moines, I.ouiaville. Cleveland. Toronto. Foreign office, 82-S5 Fleet Ht., Loadon. Eng. Deep Sea Amenities. The shark was reviling the skate. loure such a cheap one!" said the shark. "Worse than that," sighed the skate. I ve even been accused of being a dis tant relative of yours." which the listening lobsters, being merely lobsters, considered fairly rood repartee for that locality. Chicago Trib une. Ha Vanal Resource. The Muntoburns, who had been invited to the fashionable wedding, were late in arriving. I am sorry," said the usher at the door, "but every seat in the church is taken." 'That means, of course," irritably an- swered Mr. Muntoburn, - "that "I've got to hustle out and buy five tickets from some scalper!" Chicago Tribune. Willi. c to Oblla-e. Cook Lady (at intelligence office) Before I engage with you I'd like to ask a few questions. How many serv ants do you keep? The Woman Two. Cook Lady Where do you lire? The Woman (meekly) Oh, that doesn't matter. We are willing to more anywhere you want to go. Nothing Definite. The detective was trying to get a clew. "When your husband left you," he said, "did he drop any intimation as to where be might be going?" "No, sir," answered the sbarp chinned, thin lipped woman. "All he said waa that he wanted to get away, that hs waa rolng to get away, and he didn't care a durn where he went." Chicago Tribune. Wit of the Youngsters "And remember, dear," said small Fred's mother, "that George Washing ton never told a lie," "Oh, well," re joined Fred, "he hadn't any the best of me. I never told one. either. Teacher Now, Harry, suppose I had a mince pie and gave one-sixth to Johnny, one-sixth to Tommy, one- sixth to Willie and took half of it my self: what would be left? Harr (promptly) I would. "Mamma," said B-year-old Edgar one evening, "haven't I been a good boy to-day?" "Yes, Edgar," she replied, "and I'm very proud of you." "Well," continued the little fellow, "I can go 10 Dea wuuout Baying my prayers, can't I?" Small Clifford had frequently accom panied Walter to the home of the lat- ter's grandma, where cookies were al ways forthcoming. One day while there the cookies did not materialize at the usual time, so Clifford said: 'Mamana says I must never ask for anything tc eat, but I'm awfully hungry, just the ame," About 75,000 fox skins are sold out of Maine every year. Very few of the sly animals are shot. Many are killed by the usi of poisoned bait, while hundreds are killed in drives. Pettit's Eye Salve for 25c relieves tired or overworeed eves. stops eye aches, congested, inflamed or sore eyes. All druggists or Howard Bros., Buffalo, N. Y. In Vacation Time. "Are you familiar with "The Man Without a Country?" asked the student of English literature. "No," replied the pretty summer girl, "but I am familiar with the country without a man." Lifa. fJ$ Bin DISTEMPER for INirTCKinrra Pink Eve. EDtiootfc. Shipping Fever and Catarrhal Fever Sure eure and positive preventive, no matter how horses at any are are infected or "exposed." L.quid, riven on the tongue; acts on the B ood and Glands, expels the poisonous germs from the body. Cures Dis temper in Doses and Sheep and Cholera in Poultry. Largest selling-live stock remedy. Cures La Grippe amorg human beings and is a fine Kid ney remedy. 60c and $1 a bottle; $6 and 110 a dozen. Cut thia out. Keep It. Show to your druggist, who will get it for you. Free Booklet, "Dis temper, Causes and Cures." Special agents wanted. SPOHN MEDICAL CO., SSMt GOSHEN, IND., U. S. ran (Crescent Egg-Phosphate WlU DO AU THAT ANT HIGH PRICED rOWDER WlU CM) AND DO '.7 BOTES BSffiCPOWDER A FULL POUND 25c Get it from your Grocer 3 C0FFEEC TEA SPICES BAKING POWDER EXTRACTS "JUST RIGHT CL0SSET A DFYTM PORTLAND. ORE.' J am ihRbw m m sw sT Canton Plows, Harrows Planters, Listers, Cultivators! Stalk Cutters, Potato Diggers Beet Implements, Carts Garden Tools, &c 67 Yean of "Knowing How" Hammerer Into tvery One oi Tbem. Over 1400 Different Styles and Sizes, to meet all conditions in all kinds of soil. Noted for Strength, Simplicity and Ease of Operation. Ve are the originators of manv of the best known implements made, and the exclusive feat- are protected oy patents, w nen you pay out your money t the best Experiments are expensive. Insist on e-ettine P. A O. imnlements from vnnr dealer. A Beautifully Illustrated Pamphlet, and a P. & O. Catalog. will be mailed free on reauest. Remember P. & O. Can tnn T m nlpmpnta haw t-tMn in ihm load fm over two-thirds of a century and are backed by an unqualified guarantee. Ask SorCaUlof Not 101 Parlin & Orendorff Co., Canton, III. PARLIN ft ORENDORFF NORTHWEST PLOW CO., PortlandOr.,Spokane, Wash.' PACIFIC IMPLEMENT CO., General Agents, San Francisco. B. HAYMAN, Agent, Los Angeles. RAILROAD SAFKTY DEVICE. PUTNAM FADELESS DYES PRESIDENT equally wea MONROE DRUG COMPANY, Qulncy, LUnois. TAFT'S WHITE me "Death "ntton" Adda to the Snbvrar Traveler's Security. Safety In railroad travel la a vitally Interesting topic, and an article In the Circle, entitled, "Making Railroad Travel Safer," gives some remarkable Illustrations of the many Inventions and automatic appliances which tend to guard the public from danger. One of these Is called the "death button," waking provision as it does in case ol the sudden death or inactivity of the one In charge at the moment on llnet where electric current has been In stalled as a propelling power. The well-known "death button," now In use In the Manhattan subway trains, is a safety device in line with this fu ture development, In the top of the electric controllei handle, which is moved In a circle ovei a row of contact buttons by the motor man when he regulates the speed, is a little plunger which Is the real fac tor In throwing the electric current ofl and on. It sticks through the handle and is held up by a spring, Before he can get any current at all this button must be pushed down bj the palm of the motorman's hand, aftei .--v.. uuvu, wnen rhp nnnniinromenr mi mans I Whan fhn r nhn.. 1 j - . .11..., il. ... it. . I " I w.tv. i. lavuia ncm tvujuieieu. uJUBl lUe .irauf lu m lue curren, 8evera, month(J ag0 thftt Mf Taft wou,d the officia,8 reported unanimoUBly to STEAMER ' J President Taft and His Family in Their White Steamer at will But should he drop dead at his post or for any reason remove his hand from the lever, the little button would spring up from contact, the current would leave the motors and the cal stop. use an automobile during his term as president, much rivalry developed among the leading manufacturers for the honor of selling him a car and the public watched with interest to see what Mr. Taft's choice would be. The knowing ones predicted that the White Steamer would be selected and they Mr. Taft in favor of the White, and. accordingly, a car of this make was im mediately ordered from the manufac turers, The White Company of Cleve land The new car was delivered to Mr. Taft in Washington a few days before his inauguration and since that time it has been in almost constant use. There X flavoring; aaed the same as lemoa or vanilla. Br dissolving granulated sugar in water and adding Mapleine, a delicious svrnp is made and a svrnp better than maple. Mapleine is sold bv grocers. It not send 35c for 2 os. bottle and retipebook. Crescent Mfg. Ca, Seattle, Wn. Making for Strength. Bacon Experiments with Riiimr pointed out that President Roosevelt . has not been a dav when the nreaidpnt food made in the French army navt had used White Steamers for two years J or some members of his family have shown that it Is a great source of mus cular energy. Egbert 1 guess that Is a fact Just tee how strong the sugar trust Is. Yonkers Statesman. at his summer home at Oyster Bay and ' not been seen riding around the nation Folly to Be Witt, "I'm not going to give my son a col lege education." observed a fellow wh had recommended this make to Mr. Taft as the most desirable. This prediction proved correct, al though Mr. Taft did not rely solely on Mr. Roosevelt's recommendation but, with his usual thoroughness, determin ed to have an investigation made of all the principal makes. Accordingly, he asked several officers of the War de- won t let us print his name, "because partment to look into the matter for I want him to get on rapidly. I lost him and they tested many makes of the first Job I ever had by undertakini cars, visited a number of factories so to correct my employer s grammar." that they might see what materials Ton may say your financial Judg- Lh .v.. . th. inrt r.f ment Is pretty good if you are wise ITVl "trT . "Ij JJZl"1 m. . ...At . . .. . I tnr m puoiic conkaiu) sou in private enough not to risk It bucking the stock I ngryica. mantei er Doaru oi iraaa. al capital in the new car. It is hinted that Mr. Taft likes fast traveling and that when he rides out into the open country, he does not always insist that the speed of the car be kept within the legal limits. C. A. Hawkins, manager of the Pa cific coast branch of The White Com pany, 1470 Market street, San Fran cisco, said recently to a correspondent of this paper: "We are receiving many inquiries each day asking for full details regarding the construction of Mr. Taft's car and in reply we are sending copies of our catalog. Mr. Taft'a I- ....II. I.-I . ..I o vok m casl Lij nsr any ouier Model M' 40 horsepower White Steam er except that his car has the United States coat of arms painted on either door. In other words, when we make a car for the president of the United States there is no way in which we can make it any better than the car which you, or anybody else, can purchase from us. "Some of those writing to me about Mr. Taft's car say that although they are very desrious of having a car like Mr. Taft's, they are afraid that such a car is somewhat larger and more ex pensive than they desire. In reply to these letters I point out that our Model 'O' 20 horsepower car is exactly like our 40 horsepower model, except as re gards the size of the different parts. The principle of construction is exactly the same and the smaller car possesses all the desirable qualities of our larger model. In other words, I point out that they can secure an exact duplicate of Mr. Taft's car for $4,000, or a car of the same qualities but of smaller di mensions for only $2,000. Judging by the demand for White cars, a good pro portion of those desiring to purchase automobiles are quite content to trust President Taft's judgment at to the. best and most desirable make."