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About Heppner gazette. (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 25, 1909)
The Mission Of those corpuscles In your blood that have been called "Little Soldiers," Is to fight for you against the disease germs that constantly endanger your health. These corpuscles are made healthy and strong by the use of Hood's Sarsaparllla. This medicine is a combination of more than 20 different remedial agents in proportions and by a process known only to ourselves and it has for thirty years been constantly proving its worth. , No substitute, none "just-as-good." Her Objection. "I wish my dentist wasn't so realistic," aid Mrs. .Tenner Lee Ondego. "He calli hii dental parlor his drawing room." PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case of Itchinjr, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding f ilea in 6 to 14 days or money refunded. EOc Happy KnKtrement. "It's a good- thing that mnn wants but little here below," remarked the home-grown philosopher. "Because why?" queried the youth. "Because that's all there Is left after woman gets what she wrfnta" answered the philosophy generator. pITC Mt. Vital' Dance ana nrrnne Dinennns prmfr llUnantly cured by Dr. i lno' Grout Nerve Re storer. Send for FREE $2.00 ti ml bottle and treatise. Or. K. II. Kline, Ld., 931 Arch St.. Philadelphia. 1'a. '1 erinlnolOKy, Officious Salesuiun Wouldn't you like to look at some of our overcoatings or suitings? Dyspeptic Looking Customer No, but If you will be kind enough to tell me vbere the drug dnjmriment is I'll take a look at your pillin.es and porous plaster tugs." Chicago Tribune. Making It IMvnaant for TTIm. "Gentlemen," said t lie toa.snimster at h banquet; "we have listened to some excel lent orators this evening and I am sure wo liavo enjoyed their efforts very much. I have purposely kept one of our beat Rpeakers for the hint, and after you have heard him I know you wifl be glad to go home, Gentlemen, I have the honor to present Mr. Ketchum A. Cummin, who will now adrtrem you." Chicago Tribune. About Ultfiit. A boy was asked to explain the dif ference between animal Instinct and human intelligence. "If we had in stinct," he said, "we should know everything we needed to know with out learning It ; but we've got reason, and bo 'we have to study ourselves 'most blind, or he a fool." Universal 1st Leader. S Old Favorites A Crown Ip Ilnby. "You'd like to be in South America during a revolution, would you? What for?" "O. I'd like to see the wheels go round." It has been stated on British authority that American immigrants into Canada are taking fifty million dollars' worth of property Into that country each year. The following s'gn is displayed by a firm of cycle and motor manufacturers at Hornspy, England : "To aeronauts: Drop here for notrol." The golden crested wren is the smallest of British birds. It is three and a half Inches long and seventy-two of them weigh one pound. The fact that no death from hydro phobia has been recorded in England since 104)2 is cited as au illustration of the preventive treatment of disease. Wetnena. Man with the Bulging Brow Awful sloppy, Isn't it?" Man With the Bulbous Nose It ain't half as sloppy for you as it is for me. My overcoat's In so:ik- Introducing iter Ite.iolullon. "Johnny," said Mrs. Iapsling, putting on her wraps, "I've been in the house all day and I need the fresh air. If you'll mind baby a little while I'll go and take a preamble around the block." Curloaity Gratified. Former Customer (after a long ab sence) What has become of the pretty blonde that used to feed the hungry at this lunch counter? Dark Skinned Waiter Girl I'm her, What you goin' to order, sir? Youthful Philosopher. A five-year-old boy on hearing grace asked fot the first time at breakfast gravely 1 tmarked : "I only say my prayers ft night. That Is the danger ous time." Life. Before Hipe Wlxdom Cornea. There Is a dangerous stage In every one s career wnen nis triends are afraid to tell him a compliment for fear It will make him more conceited Boston Globe. It is estimated that 113.000 persons in New York City make their living by their wits, which means the lack of wit in others. Shipbuilding in Japan mploys 10,000 men at Nagasaki. 8.000 at Kobe and 4,000 at. Osaka. All- the Japanese yards are full of orders. The Grenoble district in France is noted in the export trade of that country for two very different products walnuts and kid gloves. Illoodlexa Revolution. Reporter But, Senator, in a govern' ment like ours, don t you believe in the principle of rotation in office? Eminent Statesman I certainly do, young man. That's why I have a revolv ing chair in my office. Not Worth While. "Don't you think, Mr. Sply," said the boss, "you might as well take off your hat?" "What's the use?" asked the new man, who was filling a temporary vacancy in the clerical department. "I'm only going to hold this job two weeks." James Warren, a farm laborer, 82 years old", died recently at Edworth, England, after having worked on the same farm for seventy-five years. More Humane. "They tell me, Mr. Smith ers, simpered the fluffy young thing, "that you are quite a lady killer." "They do me an injustice, upon my word, Miss Giggley," responded the gal lant old beau, laying his band on his heart and making a profound bow ; "I catch 'eua alive." In reply to an advertisement for a woman typist at a salary of ?.'5.75 a week, a London firm on March i received no fewer than ."!" replies. New York City has more asylums, homes, hospitals and organizations for the relief of human suQ'ering than any other city in the world. Far Apart. "Miss Easton," said the hostess, "this is Mr. Weston." "Delighted to know you. Miss Easton," said the young man. "Nominally, how ever, we seem to be antipodes." "Actually, too, perhaps, Mr. Weston," she answered, so distantly that he instant ly felt himself to be 12,."00 miles away. At Rheims, France, portable bathtubs, filled with hot water, are delivered to or der. The folding envelope was first used in 1S39. There are 50,000 vegetarians in Eng land. There are in London over 3(M,UOU per sons who live in one-room houses, and over 701.000 in two-room houses. There is a daily average of one and one-half deaths in New Y'ork City charge able to injuries inflicted by other persons. In the last five years, in New York City, fi03,714 tenants have gone into new flat houses. Three-story bedsteads are now made for ose in apartments, steamers, camps and wherever floor apace is limited. The secret of the glow-worm and firefly is yet unsolved by science. Their light is witirelv unaccompanied hv heat. Three hundred girls are employed in the harness trade in New York, and Kentucky has a girl jockey. Manhattan's postoffice receipts amount to $54,370 daily. Much of the fuel used In Italy is mads of the refuse of olives from which the oil has been pressed. Lord Selborne is the firot British cab inet minister who has accepted an ap pointment in the colonies. Those who have wintered in Alaska say that it is not the cold, but the mosquito, that is the hardest thing to endure in the North. Alment-M Inded Alderman. A Lynn (Mass.) alderman at a re cent nldcrmanic meeting Inquired what had become of an order he had intro duced some time before calling for an arc light on Willow street. The city clerk, after digging into his files, in formed him that the order had come before the board nearly a month pre vious and that he had voted against it. Ileautlful Snow, i Oh, the snow, the beautiful snow, Filling the sky and the earth below; Over the housetops, over the streets, Over the heads of the people you meet; Dancing, flirting, swimming along. Beautiful snow, it can do nothing wrong, flying to kiss a fair lady's cheek, Clinging to lips in a frolicsome freak, Beautiful snow, from the heuvens above, Pure as an angel and tickle as love. Oh, the snow, the beautiful snow, IIow the flakes gather and laugh as they go, Whirling along in its maddening fun; It plays in its glee with everyone, Chasing, laughing, hurrying bit, It lights up the face and it sparkles the eye ; And even the dogs with a bark and . bound Snap at the crystals that eddy around. The town is alive and its heart's In a glow To welcome the coining of beautiful snow. How the wild crowd goes swaying along, Hailing each other with humor and song, IIow the gay sledges like meteors flash by, Bright for a moment, then lost to the eye, Ringing, swinging, dashing they go Over the crest of the beautiful snow, Snow, so pure when it falls from the sky. To be trampled in mud by the crowd rushing by, To be trampled and tracked by the thou sands of feet Till.it blends with the horrible filth in the street.' Once I was pure as the snow, but I fell ; Fell, like the snow-flakes, from heaven to hell ; Fell, to be trampled as the filsh of the street ; Fell, to be scoffed, to be spit on and beat; Pleading, cursing, dreading to die, Selling my soul to whoever would buy. Dealing in shame for a morsel of bread, Hating the living and fearing the dead. Merciful God, have I fallen so low And yet I was once like this beautiful snow? One I was fair as the beautiful snow, With an eye like its crystals, a heart like its glow; Once I was loved for my innocent grace. Flattered and sought for the charm of my face, Father, mother, sisters, all. (lo& and myself I have lost by my fall. The veriest wretch that goes shivering by Will take a wide sween lest I wander too nigh For of all that is on or about me I know There is nothing that's pure, but the beautiful snow. fJolkk r '!.; TUT Sural 'Telephones Do you realize that rural telephones, more than anything else, tend to increase the earning power of every farm and farmer? Do you realize that ALL of the material needed to build the very best rural telephone line exactly the same as the Bell Company puts up will cost you and your neih bors less than half a bale of cotton or twenty bushels of wheat each? k Am illfi Over 4,000,000 Western Electric Telephones are in use in the United States to-day. We made the first telephones and we have made the most in fact, we have made more than all other manufacturers combined. 4 We have brought the rural telephone within the reach of every farmer, and with our Free Bulletins before him a boy can install and operate the system. Our telephones arc guaranteed. Cut out this advertisement, write your name and address on the margin and mail it to-day so that the Free Bulletins, which describe the entire plan in detail, may be sent you immediately. 112 SOUTHERN OFFICES Atlanta Cincinnati Dallas ludunapolis Kansas City Portsmouth Saint Louli Savaunaa Manufacturers and Suppliers of alt Apparatus and Kquip ment used in the Construc tion, Operation and Mainte nance of Telephone Pi am is. N0RTEER.N AND WESTERN OFFICES Boston Chicago Denver Los A:ifreles New Vorit Omaha Philadelphia Pittsburg Saint Pa d Salt Lake City San Fr&ncia.o Seattle For Example. "To make a long story short," said Un cle Chinner, "we collected the maple sap, emptied it into a huge iron kettle, and put it over a big wood fire to boil it down "To make your long story short, uncle," interrupted one of the listeners, "suppose you boil that down, too." Mothers will find Mrs. Wlnslows Soothing Syrup the brgt remedy to use for their cuildreu auricg me teetmiig penoa. A Flavoring. It make U syrup better than Maple. .S Sold by grocer Sen Flshea in the Sea. In a communication to the Royal So ciety of Queensland, Dougles Ogilby re cords the discovery of one new genus and seven new species of fish. Among these are slender dog shark, Howe's needle fish, long-beaked garfish, the Bomber leather jacket and others. Mix for Rheumatism. The following is a never failing re cipe for rheumatism. To one-half pint of good whiskey, add one ounce syrup sarsaparilla and one ounce Toris com pound, which can be procured of any druggist. Take in teaspoonful doses before each meal and before retiring. ' Must lie Ilnrd Work. In Russia there is a cheap reaping machine which bus a reel, but no au tomatic rake. A man sits on the plat form and rakes oft the grain with pitchfork. The name of this machine Is "lolK)greika," and since "lobo" means "brow." and "greika" is "a heater," the whole can be translated "brow sweater." 'Untimely Interruption. Orlando Spoonamore bent over the fair band and respectfully kissed it. ' "Young man," screeched the parrot in the cage overhead, "is there anything the matter with ray lips?" IIow strange it should be that this beau tiful snow Should fall on a sinner with nowhere to go. IIow strange it would be when the night comes again If the snow and the ice struck my des perate brain ; ninting, freezing, dying alone, Too wicked for prayer, too weak for my moan To be heard in the crash of the crazy town Gone mad in its joy that the snow's com ing down To lie and to die in my terrible woe, With a bed and a shroud of the beauti ful snow. J. W. Watson. Had a Reason. Editor (of Daily Thunderbolt) Toop er, you have fallen down on two or three assignments lately. You used to have the best nose for news there was in the office. Reporter I think I had but it's been pulled once or twice lately, and I'm get ting cautious about using it. 1 merchants! I I WILL TRADE I ) Wall Paper, Mouldings, Pictures and other sim- W ilar goods, for timb?r is) land, farm land or cash. m Lowest wholesale (: w prices. Write me. E. H. MOOREHOUSE I J.' 144 Seventh St., Portland, Oregon $i : Aff!ixSc a thine. To heroine expert tjTf Bit moans to fnermllzp. Wonropno- va . Some of the saloons in Liverpool dis play the sign : "Ladies can not be served without their bats on." Lost in the Australian bush, near Port Parwin. for five days, engineor-commauder K. S. Silk was found alive and well by a black tracker. The average rent paid for New York City tenements and apartment houset built within five years amounts to $144 annually for each person living in them. The municipa l of Copenhagen has pened war on rats, and will pay 1 !ents for every tail. The breeding of rats for their tails is a criminal offense. me postmen or rpaui are unable to read and write ns a rule, and it is a com mon saying that who treats the postman best gets the most leiters. A youth of seventeen, who hanged him self at Bristol, l'liitland. painted himself with green from lit ail to foot just befori the act. CURE TIIE CHILDREN'S COUGH before trie constant hacking tears the delicate membrane of throat and lungs, exposing them to the ravages of deadly disease. Piso't Cure goes straight to the seat of the trouble, stop the cough, strengthens the lungs, and quickly relieves unhealthy conditions. Because of its pleasant taste and freedom from dangerous ingredients H is die ideal remedy lot children. At the first symptoms of a cou'h or cold in the little ones you will save sorrow and suffering if you GIVE TIXEM PISO'S CURE V .J f3 live rylindj' Lucky. An old fanner of the County of Dur hnm called at a roadside public house where be was well known. The land lady asked him to buy a ticket for a lottery they bad on there. "Well," he said, "I hue naught In ma pocket, or I might." "Oh, that's a' reet. John," she says; "take the ticket and pay for it any time."'" Some, time later John called again and the landlady asked him If he knew who had won the lottery. "No," be said, "who won?" "Well, hardly durst tell you, but oor Sam won. Wasn't he lucky?" "Aye," said John, "be ' was lucky. And who was second, then?" . "I durst hardly tell you. Who "would you think now?"- she said. , "I couldn't say," said John. "Well, it wa oor Sally. Wasn't she lucky?" "Aye, she was lucky," snid John, "and who was third?" be asked. "Well," she said, "you would never (ruesH, and I might as well tell. I was third. Wasn't I lucky?" "You were," he said. "Did I ever pay you for that ticket, missus?" "No, John, you didn't," she said, fawning upon him. "Well," said John, "isn't I lucky?" The liettor Part. A delightful little story is told of Prosper Meriniee, the French author. He was once guest at a royal hunt. when hares, pheasants and other game were driven before the emperor and his followers, and the servants picked up the victims of the sport. Among all the members of the hunt ing party, Prosper Merimee alouo had no trophy to display. "How does this happen?" asked some one. "Where game Is so plenty, the merit of a marksman seems to me to He In bitting nothing. replied Merimee, with grnve courtesy, "so I fired be tween the birds." A good, honest remedy fur Rheumatism, Neuralgia and Sore Throat is Hamlin's Wizard Oil. Nothing will so quickly drive out all pain and inflammation. Maklnsr Sore. Country Cousin Are you sure I am in the right train? Town Relative (who has had about enough of it) Well, I have asked sev enteen porters and thirty-two passen gers, and they all say, "Yes," so I think you'd better risk it. London Tel egraph. Only One "BROMO QUININE" That is LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. Look for the signature of E. W. GROVE. Used the world over to Cure a Cold in One Da v. 2Tc. The long feathers of a bird's wing are fastened to the bone. It is this which gives the wing the strength and surface Therewith to heat the air. Its Claim to Immortality. "I don't see anything remarkable in your poem," said the editor, banding it back. "You don't?" howled the would-be con tributor, pointing with a quivering finger at the word "loathes" at the end of the fourth stanza. "Did you ever see a poem before that had a perfect rhyme for 'clothes'?" Chicago Tribune. tnow every thing. To heroine expert moans to fperlallzp. WoaroFpo claliFt8 In producing thn best flnwrr and ycpetable seeds. Iu fiJ years we have bepomo experts. Bow Ferry's Seeds and ronp lhr results of our care. For sale evcry-hon1. Read our 1909 L cataloeueand profit by our experience. Sent free on request. Address D. M. FERRY & CO., DETROIT. MICH, mmi seed E,,r $!i&2S Per Salzer's catalog page isg. E3ES!?1 Largest growers or onion ana vegetable I seeds in tlu world. Bin cat aloe free: or, E! send IGcin stamps and receive catalog and looo keruels each of onions, carrots, celery, radishes, 1500 each lettuce, rutabaga, tur nips, 100 parsley, 100 tomatoes, 100 melons, 1:00 charming flower seeds, in all 10.000 kernels, easily worih SI.CO of any man's money. Or, send Zoo and we will add one pkg. of Earliest Peep O'Day Sweet Corn. , iGALZiR SEED CO., Box PC La Crosse. WU. WE WANT v'e want Ftock, wheat, da ry and fruit' J farms. Having- a large Eastern corre- tpondenee we are in a position to make J qu;ck ales. Drop us a card if you have J any thing or know of any firms for sale, z ATLAS LAND CO., 420 Limber Exchange J I PORTLAND, OREGON t "Ha! Ha! It didn't hurt a bit! Now for my Alveolar Teeth." The cleanest. liahtest. and most comfortable SLICKER at the same time cheapest in the end because it wears longest 3QQ Everywhere Every garment guar anteed waterproof Catalog free J JOweo CO BOSTON 05 03 A man never wants to be a woman except when a woman abuses bliu ; then lie wituld like to be a woman, to talk buck. oxvc )owes; cVeawses g system &JJccuoSVy ; xsss8 oxxGmovcxcovuwg abvciJl CQus)aXov To efe beucjvixaV cjfecs,aways)u O ("UNUFaCTUREO BV THE CALIFORNIA Fig Syrup Co. SOLD BY LEADING DRUGG15T5 50A BOTTLE The 2 "FLYERS" p n u No. 9-09 are the O. R. & N. fast through trains between PORTLAND and SPOKANE t.' rV 1 f. v-? WM. McMURRAY, G. P. A. Portland In cases like the above, all dentists throw up their hards and say there is no hooe - save plate or false set of tee h. but the Alveolar sys tem solved the problem a.id now plates are not necessary unless all the tee h ate gone. We do dental work in all its branches, from the simple piece of filling to the complicated and sci entific Alveolar work. Let no one fool you into payinjr fancy prices. Omsult us. The prices be low are for the highest class of dental work. r Per Tooth Alveolar Teeth $3.50 up Regular Gold Crown, 22k .$3.50 Regular Porcelain Crown ". . $3 50 . Regular Gold or Enamel Fills . .$1.00 Recular Inlay fillings. Painless and Per fect .;:..$2.50 Regular Expert Plate Work, per set $3.50 up - Painless Extracting (free with work) 50c.. We make a careful examination of the mouth free. If you would know more of this Alveolar work, send for our book. "Alveolar D.jititry," a trertise on the teeth in peneral and the new method in particular, The book is free. Out-of-town patients treated in the shortest possibl t me. Dentists of 5 to 20 years' active practice in the city. The ALVEOLAR Painless Dentists fourth and Washington Streets PORTLAND, OREGON. ENTRANCE 110H FOURTH STREET Lady Attendant OFFICE HOURS 8 a. m: to 8 p. m ; Sundays 9 a. m. to 12 m. PHONE AU71. DISTEMPER For rvirTCIincn Pink fye, Epizootic, Shipping Fever and Catarrhal Fever Sure cure and positive preventive, no matter how horses at any a? are infected or "expoed." L.quid. (riven on the tongue; acts on th Blood ajid G'.ands. expels the pui onous nerma from the body. Cures Dis temper in Pops and Sheep and Cholera in Poultry. l-rrest selling liva Stock remtdy. Cures La Grippe amor t human K-infrs and is a fine K id Jieyremedy, 60c and $1 a bo'tle; J and f ilia dozen. Cut this cut. Keep It. Show toyourdrusrtrist. who willpet it for you. Free Booklet. "Di. tamper. Cau-e and Cures." Special agents wa-?ed. SPOILN MEDICAL CO., GOSHEN, IND, U. S. A. "Itf HKN writing t I V luenf in this to advertiser pleaaa paper. mi (RE SCEN" WILL DO ALL THAT ANY HHiH PRICED F0tt MR WILL C DO AM) DO BETTER I Egg-Phosphate BAKING POWDER A FULL POUND 25c Get it from your Grocer PUTNAM FADELESS DYES Color more goods brighter and faster colors than any other dye. One 1 Oc package colors silk, wool and cotton equally well nd is guaranteed to give perfect results. Ask dealer, or we will send post paid at 10c a package. Write for . rte booklet -ow to dye, bleachjand mix colers. , MONROE DRUG COMPANY, Ouincy, LVmoU. 1,1