Image provided by: Dallas Public Library; Dallas, OR
About Polk County itemizer. (Dallas, Or.) 1879-1927 | View Entire Issue (June 6, 1907)
In •old In Iron P a ri» laat year 46.000 boraea were (o r food. tbe laat ten years this country'» output baa Increased 102 per cent. It Is estimated that London's laun dries use more tbau 760 tons o f soap a week. Charlea Law W att», a 10-year-old boy, o f Kent, England, weighs 373 pounds and is still eating. Eacb day there drop Into the coffers o f tbe New York elevated railways 27,500 nickels, to aay nothing o f tbe oth er coins and bills. Out o f a fortune of 1775,000. Mra. Mary Todd, o f Oakwood, Hasting». England, left $5,000 for distribution by her executors to homes for cats and dogs. Shipload after shipload o f railway sleepers and cold storage products U arrivin g at Manila and other Philip pine ports from various Australian porta It Is anounced that a Scotch com pany Is about to manufacture by a new process seamless Iron and steel tubes fo r hollers, which It Is said will not corrode. Benjamin F. Hamilton, o f Saco. Me., dulm se to be the flrst storekeeper In New England to employ women clerka H e recently passed bis elgbty-elghtb birthday. O f the tuberculous patients treated lit Pennsylvania's "Camp Sanatorium," which was established with the aid of the State, 75 per cent have either re covered or been greatly improved. A t the Northwlch (E ngland) rural council Councilor W atts reported a case o f a boatman who willed and be queathed bis son Fred to another boat man, who paid a half-crown to make the transaction, as he Imagined, legal. The Bank o f England la not In dan ger o f a drought. An artesian-bored tube well, reaching to a depth o f 400 feet, has JUst been completed there. Springs have been tapped yielding a minimum supply o f 100,000 gallons a day. K ing Edward has sent $15 to a De vizes artist named Wiltshire, who painted a picture o f his majesty wear ing his coronation robes and forwarded It to Buckingham palace. W iltshire Is a cripple and works holding the pencil or brush between bis toes. John F. Fitzgerald, mayor o f Bos ton, Is editor o f the Uepublic, s weekly religious newspaper. He Is a Harvard graduate, popular alike with working men and business men, as his successive terms In the Massachusetts Senate and In Congress have given evidence. James J. H. Gregory, o f Marblehead. . Mass., Is a rival o f Andrew Carnegie lu the giving away o f libraries. He has been doing this for years. Ills libra ries are smaller than Carnegie's gifts and are given to small communities, to ministers and educators who can not ulTord to purchase them. Traders now pass freely between Cal cutta and Thibet. The masses o f Thibet are eager to trade with “ the white people,” says Consul General Michael, o f Calcutta. The Important products o f Thibet are borax, niter, rock salt. Iron, silver, copper, gold, tur quoise. lapis-lazuli, musk, etc. An English physician, James Cantllfc, speaks In strong tern s o f condemna tion o f the growing custom o f using currants In bread and cake. The bak ing, he says, makes them wholly Im pervious to any digestive fluid, where fore they result In serious Intestinal disturbances, especially In children. Large tracts o f Persia are uninhab ited. The total population Is about p.noo.noo, which Is only fourteen to the square mile. The nomads (Arabs, Kurds, Leks, Turks. Lura, Baluchis and Gypsies) move from plnce to place, according ns their nnlmals need pas turage or ns ilielr other Interests de mand.— Persia. Past and Present. Domestic servants at Wellington. New Zealand, have formed a union and demand thnt their work on Mondnys, Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays shall cense at 7 :3d In the evening, on Thurs days and Sundays at 2 In the after noon and on Wednesdays at 10 p. in., all domestics to be home by 10 o'clock except on Thursday, when they may stay out till midnight. A cat, which has adopted the plant o f the Sandusky Foundry and Machine Company as her borne, undertook to Jump through the flywheel on the en gine. The cat got caught In the spokes was whirled around 400 or 500 times and then through a window. With eight lives still to her c red it she hoist ed her tall and started on a sw ift run to And another home.— Toledo Blade. IO H Z IN T E R E S T IN G C h aracter as Laat t u r n e d W IL L S . Q a a la t lg la T estam en ts. Much of a man's character may he known from tbe kind o f a will he leaves behind htm Very few men, therefore, are really known till they are dead, for some presumably sane people- have left most eccentric docu ments which disposed o f their wordl.v goods, according to the Kansas City Star. A man named Sanborn, who lived and died In Massachusetts, made a will which bequeathed hla body to Harvard university, and “ especially to the man ipulation o f Oliver Wendell Holmes and Louis Agassis.” He requested that bis akin should be made Into two drum- beads, to become the property o f hla lifelon g friend, leader o f a Cobaaaet drum corps, on condition that on Bunker hill at aunrlae, June 17, each year, be should beat tbe drum to the tuna o f "Yankee Doodle." On one drumhead was to be Inscribed Pope's “ Universal Prayer," and on tba other tbe "D eclaration o f Independence." “ Tba remainder of my body," be con tinues. "unless need for anatomical pur- paaaa, to ba earn posted far a fertiliser to ooatrlbate to tba growth of an Amer- •tos to t o plantad la thoroughfare. that the weary wayfarer may rest and the iunocent children nay play beneath Its umbrageous shade, ren dered luxuriant by my remains.” Jeremy Beotham, w ho was tbe found er o f tbe school o f ‘utilitarianism, be queathed bis body to Dr. Snutbwood Smith fo r dissection, desiring that s lec ture be delivered over It to medical studeuta and the public generally. He bad made mnuy experiments with em- bulmlng fluids, and on the day o f bis death declared himself satisfied with the preparation submitted to him. As he examined tbe fluid hla laat words were, "T h a t w ill do,” and In a few minutes be was dead. He had desired that after bis death his body should be dissected and then embalmed and dressed In hla accustomed clothes, to ap pear as natural as jioaaible. Seated In his old arcmcbnlr, be wished to be placed s t the banquet table o f hie friends when they met on any great occasion to discuss philosophy or phil anthropy. These wishes were carefully carried out by the favorite disciple to whom the body was bequeathed. A certain Dr. Ellery o f London, who waa a distinguished member o f tbe So ciety o f Friends, Inserted this clause In his w i l l ; "Item — 1 bequeath my heart to Mr. W., anatom ist; my lungs to Mr. F „ In order that they may pre serve them from decomposition; and I declare that If these gentlemen shall fall to execute tbeae, my last wishes. I will come— If It be by any means pos sible— and torment them till they com ply.” A quaint bequest was made by a man In Staffordshire, England, who asked that tbe sum o f 20 shillings be paid yearly to aouie poor man, "to go about through the church during the sermon to keep the people awake and the dogs out o f the church.” In the will of a Mr. Parker, probated In London In 1785, there waa this clause: " I w ill and bequeath the sum o f £50 to Elizabeth, w hom, through my foolish fondness, I made my wife, with out regard to fame, fam ily or fortune, and who in return has not spared, most unjustly, to aecuse me o f every crime regarding human nature save highway robbery.” An old Welshman who, In bla ninety- eighth year, saw fit to make a new will, came to the point briefly and speclflc- a lly : " I give to my old, faithful ser vant, Esther Jones, tbe whole that I am possessed of, either In personal property, land or otherwise. She Is a tolerable woman, but would be much better If she had not so clamorous a tongue. She has, however, one great virtue, which la a veil to her foibles— strict honesty." OUR TROOPS IN CUBA. P ro e e a e e o f P a e ia r a t lo n F o rc e B o - ■e u le tl b y N o n e E x c e p t L i b e r a l « . SCHOOL TEACHERS IN LOVE. L L England la stirred up because a pretty school teacher at Rotherham waa dismissed for wearing an engagement ring. And an Ohio court has decreed that a girl at Mans field was Justly discharged from her place as teacher because she was In love. As the same time a big fuss la being made every where over the drop In the birth rate and the disinclina tion o f young people to marry aa early aa they used to. la this sort o f treatment likely to encourage girls to look upon wifehood and motherhood aa the noblest des tiny a woman can hope for? W ill It not rather make them think that they must choose once and for all be tween work and marriage? Does It not, In abort, con deuiu to celibacy a large number of unusually Intelligent young women who ought to make excelleut wives and mothers? ■ One of the great dangers o f women's work Is that those who are forced to employ their energies outside the home may lose the gracious aud tender attributes of womanhood. There Is risk of the creation o f a third sex — women by nature, but men by environment The only wuy to avert this Is to keep the door wide open between the business life and the domestic life, so that they can pass freely and naturally from one to the other. School boards that put a punishment, aa It were, upon thought o f marriage exert a far-reaching and Injurious Influence The result Is to keep many girls unmarried all their lives, and many others are caused to defer their mar riages until much later than the natural age, and often to marry unhappily In consequence.— I ’ lttsburg 1'ress. ADULTERATION PUBLICITY. M A N U F A C T U R E R S o f questionable food stuffs are making a strong kick against the pub licity feature o f the pure food bill before Congress. They say that such publicity would drive them out o f business, which la Just exuctly what the friends o f the pure food bill would like to s ee; that ta, unless such manufacturers reform their methods. , The good book mentions certain classes who prefer dark ness rather than light. It seems we always have such fellows with us. The present Investigation has unearthed more fraud than the most sanguine advoentes o f pure food laws anticipated. T be agitation has awakened tbe whole country to the disgraceful condition. Unscrupu lous manufacturers actually claim the right to put up food stuffs In any way that they see fit, to mislabel It, to sell glue for Jelly, or preserve It with poison, accord ing to the amount o f profit thnt they can make by the transaction.— Farm, Field and Fireside. BEW ARE THE HOUSE FLY. CURIOUS N AVAL PUNISHMENTS. B a li a s T a b o f W a t e r w ith Spoon— L s a g h l n s fo r H o a r a n d n H a lf. Naval officers do not always mete out to the men tbe punishments laid down In the king's regulations. They fre quently adopt punishments o f their own Invention, which'prove most effective In preventing the recurrence o f offenses. These punishments are often o f a very curious and even ludicrous nature. It la an everyday occurrence to see half a dozen sullorB lined up on deck facing tbe paint work, their hammocks on their shoulders and their faces pre senting a moat woeful appearance. For this punishment Is not so trivial as It appears, says London Tit-IIIts. The hammock Is not very heuvy. It la true, but a fte r an hour or so It drags on one’s shoulder like lead. Besides, It Is far from pleasant to stare fixedly at a square foot o f gray-painted woodwork for sixty minutes at a stretch. Jack would much prefer to do a few days' "Ten A " o r to have hla leave "Jambed." Spitting upon the dock of a man-o'-war Is strictly prohibited. As soon as the bugler has sounder the Stand Easy" spittoons the placed at Intervals along tbe deck for the use o f tbe sailors, and woe betide the tar who Ignores the presence o f these tubs and expectorates about the siwtleas deck. On many vessels a wide belt la kept, and thia tbe man who departs from the regulations Is couqieHed to wear upon hia |iersou, and la thus subjected to the ridicule o f bis shipmates. He Is given an op|>ortunlty o f retrieving hla char acter. however, lie ts permitted to walk the deck with the other men, and should he spot a sailor committing a like offense he at once presents him with tile hated belt, and the new victim has to undergo a similar ordeal. M l'-i'O K E the advent o f the bacteriologist tbe house fly was regarded merely aa a nui sance. It was an Intruder, an uninvited and unwelcome guest. And It created so much trouble for its size that to some hu man beings It caused almost as much amuse ment as execration. It tickled the w it o f no eml o f humorists, lent a light touch to many a caricature and won, too, a certain amount o f respect fo r its demo cratic ways. It was no respecter o f persons. In the light o f modern science, however, the fly has been found to tie not so much an annoyance ns a iioaltlve menace to mankind. Experiments have proved thnt It can carry on Its hairy body the germs o f various fevers, so that It has come to be feared by armies almost aa Tnmstone la the name o f a variety o f shore birds thut nre allied to the plovers nnd the snndptpers. This name has been given to them because o f their slngulur m anner'of feeding. W ith their strong hills they turn over the small stones lying In the sand of the beuclies to find the Insects that may be shel tered underneath. I f the stone la too heavy for the bill, they push Jt over by upplylng the breast to the upper side. A Scotch naturalist tells how number o f these birds worked together to turn over n fish which was too heavy fo r one nlone to move. Bussing along the seashore, be says, I observed on the annds, at a considerable distance liefore me, two birds beside a large object. Knowing by their ap pearance thnt they did not belong to the species which are usually met with in this quarter, I left the beach and proceeded along the sand, an eminence o f shingle Intervening, until I conclud ed that I was almost op|Histte the s|iot where the birds « e r e employed. At Inst I came In sight o f the two Some officers adopt more drastic little workers, which were busily en measures. I f Jack Is detected expccto- denvorlng to turn over a dead flsli thnt rating anywhere hut In the receptacles j «-as fully six times their size. Not provided, a "splt-klt" la strapped to hla ' wishing to disturb them.and anxious at chest and any man who cares to do the same time to witness their o;iera- ao may make uae of tills curious walk- tlons, 1 observed that a few paces near ing receptacle. Aa may be aupimaed, er them there was n deep hollow nmong this humiliating punishment effective- j the shingle. Into which I contrived to ly prevents the men from violating the creep unobserved. regulations. I H aring got fairly settled down In my W ere a civilian given two large pebbly observatory, I turned my un- wnoden buckets, one empty and the oth- i divided attention to the birds before er full o f water, nnd told to bale the me. They «-ere boldly pushing at the liquid from the full tub into tbe empty fl*h with tlielr hills and then with their vessel with a «mall spoon, he would breasts. T lielr endeavors, however, consider the order to be that o f a mad- ( were 111 vain ; the object remained Ini- man. or a revival o f ancient fsney lore. 1 movable. * Yet this punishment tins on several oc-1 On this they both went round to the csslons been meted out to refractory opposite side and begun to scrape “ sea dogs." Nothing is more amusing away His sand from tienentli the flsli. than to see s weather-beaten sailor A fte r removing a considerable qunntl carefully baling out spoonful after tJ. they again came back to the spot spoonful o f water and as carefully do- which they had left, and went once positing the fluid In a large bucket m,,re at work with their bills ami st his side. | breasts, but with aa little apparent sue- A punishment frequently employed Is r,‘" " before. Nothing daunted, how that o f setting the defaulter to walk rver- ' hey r;,n round a second time to slowly backward and forward along **,e »¡h er side, and recommenced their tbe deck, nursing tn his arms a six Inch trenching operations with a seeming projectile weighing a little over 100 d**ernilmitlon not to lie bullied In their pounds. A fte r a quarter o f an hour or °hJrct, which evidently was to under- so o f this beneficial “ exercise" the un- n’ *ne the dead creature before them. In happy victim Is glad to drop tbe load or,ler that It might be the more easily and rub hla aching limbs. A t tbe same OTert " rn<’<' time he probably makes a mental re- I " ’ hlle they were thns employed, and solve never to repeat the offense for * f , * r *h*J had labored In this manner which he h ai been "aw arded" this dire •* b?,h alternately for nearly half an hour, they were Joined by another penance. o f their own species, which came fly D iaaaoais. Ing with rapidity rrom the nelghbor- Phyalclan— There la really nothing the matter with your daughter. Mr. Up- dagraff. 8be only fanclaa there la I should describe her esee technically aa one o f auto suggestion. ln* rock*' I u * rrlT* 1 wss hall *** » |f n* o f Joy. I was ,0 *hl* «inclusion from the gestures w **lc*1 made, and from a low but pleasant murmuring nolae to which Anxious Parent— I believe you're ,b#T • “ * * utUr* D0* “ * ° ° n » » the guessed I t doctor. She’s fairly crass D* wcon>* r m,<1* w * appearance. Of to have me buy odo o f 'em. tM r seemed to perfect- | > J f**lln$* h* to much as the bullets o f an enemy. An epidemic o f cholers In a Manila prison Dot long ago was traced to flies. As soon as the Insects were barred from ttie convlets’ Q uar ters tbe pestilence abated. Among tbe Egyptians aod FIJI Islanders the house fly has been found guilty o f convey ing the germs of the prurient ophthalmia. In the crowded city the house fly muy become especial- ly dangerous, for Its opportunities o f Infection sre multi plied. The high mortality o f children In tbe summer months In congested districts, where refuse accumulates fast aud where food la often kept In living rooms. Is, no doubt, caused to a certain extent by the fly. It Is known that this Insect pollutes-mllk with bacteria. Milk la the favorite food o f flies, and at the same time It Is au unusually good breeding place for bacilli.— New York Tribune. a TWO M IGHTY FOES. F one were to ask a number o f physicians what problem most Interests tbe medlet^ profession to-day, nine out o f ten would re ply, “ The mystery o f cancer.” There are other diseases which are quite as hopeless as cancer, some that are more painful, and some that cause more deaths; but there Is hardly another In the face o f which phyalcluua confess themselves so hopeless. In many directions the progress o f medicine during the last quarter-century, chiefly during the last decade, has been marvelous. The discovery that consumption Is not hereditary, and If taken In time may be cu red ; the association of the mosquito with inulurla and yellow fe v e r ; the serum treatment for hydrophobia and dlph- tlie rla ; tbe Isolation o f tbe bacterium o f smullpox— these are a ll recent achievements. T w o great foes still defy the doctors. One— pneumonia — which ranks next to the “ great white plague" In the number o f Its victims, has lntely been and still la the subject o f special study by an association o f American physlfflana; and something has been learned about It. It Is known that It Is a germ-disease, nml that its character istic microbe Is nearly always present lu the mouth and throat In a state o f h ealth ; but the knowledge o f these facts lias not suggested any effective way o f dealing with tbe disease. Regarding cancer, still less has been discovered; but In many countries there are now siieciul laboratories, In which the minds o f the ablest students of pathology ars concentrated upon this one subject. In these researches the United States Is bearing Its part. Not only are American physicians giving the sub ject theli closest attention as Individuals, but a nutlonal association for the study o f the disease has been formed, and special cancer hospitals have been established In several American cities. From one or another o f these medical work rooms may come at any time the Joyful message that cancer has been conquered.— Youth’s Com panion. HOW GERM ANY CURES AUT0M0BILISTS. IIE German Government's proposed way o f punishing automobllists wlio run down the people o f the countryside Is worth consid ering. Embodied In a bill Is the scheme obliging automobllists to pay life annuities to those dependent on persons killed by their motor cars or to those permanently Injured by them. The owners o f the cars and not the chauffeurs would be held responsible and the annuities would he assessed by the courts.— Springfield (M ass.) Republican. ly aware, and he made Ilia reply to them in a sim ilar strain. Their mutual congratulations being over, they all three set to work, and after laboring vigorously for a few minutes In removing the sand, they came round to the other side, and put ting tlielr breasts to the flsli, succeed ed In riilslng It some Inches from tile sand, but were unable to turn It over. It went down again into Lta sandy bed, to their manifest disappointment. Resting, ho«-ever, fo r a space, and without leaving their respective posi tions, which were a little apart the one from the other, they resolved. It appeared, to give the work another trial. Lo«-ering themselves, with their breasts close to the sand, they man aged to push tlielr bills underneath the flsh, which they made to rise about the same height ns before. Afterward, withdrawing thetr bills, but without losing the advantage which they hail gained, they npplled their breasts to the object. This they did with such force and to such purpose thnt at Inst It went over nnd rolled several yards down a slight declivity. It « a s fo l lowed to some distance by the birds themselves before they could recover tbelr bearing. PLANTS FORCED BY F IR E . B l a s e N e a r B y S t a r t « T r e e « to B l o « - ■om tiifr n S e c o n d T im e . The United 8tales ariuy has done It self great credit In Cuba, writes Wm. E. Curtis In the Chicago Record-Her ald. There hue not beeu the eligbtest trouble with the soldiers; they have behaved themeelvee In an exemplary m anner; the arrests have been f e w ; there has been no disorder whatever, and no altercation* with tbe natives. T lielr health has also been remarkable. Shortly a fte r the arrival o f the troops laat October there were several case* of typhoid fever, which they brought with them, but It was soon stamped o u t and tbe sick list for February, in cluding accldeuta, was 2.1 per cent. That Is remarkable. There have been very few deaths, hardly enough to cal culate a percentage. When they arrived at Havana the troops were admonished as to their duty, to conduct tbeuiaelves so as to furnish a good example to the Cubans and to promote Individually, so fa r as possible, tbe pacification o f the coun try. They were told that they were not there to fight, but to serve as an object lesson and a moral force, and ¿bey have followed these instructions with a discretion that deserves the highest commendation. The oUlcers and their fam ilies have been a valuable addition to tbe social life o f Cuba and tbe soldiers are al most universally popular wltb tbe peo ple. The army Is scattered pretty well over the Island. There are several posts In each o f the provinces with one, two or three companies at each, and the best test o f their popularity Is the protests that are always made by the citizens wtien they are ordered away. T b e citizens object to changes, also. Lik e all the Latin races, the Cu bans are suspicious and distrustful o f strangers. It takes some tim e to get tbelr confidence, but when they become convinced that you are sincere and sympathetic, they are aa trustful aa a child. Hence they don't like changes. The same Is true In the Philippines. The leaders of the Liberal party are the only people «-ho do not like the soldiers, and they have their reasons. Tbe presence o f the American troops prevents them from carrying out their plans and obtaining possession o f tbe government The disposition o f the army toward tbe people la kindly and conciliatory. They avoid wounding the pride o f the Cubans or givin g offense In any way. Their sentiments were clearly express ed by Colonel Black o f the engineer corps, who Is acting minister o f public works. He said to me the other d a y: “ The most Important thing fo r both Cuba and the United States Is a better understanding o f their mutual rela tions and Interests. There Is a radical difference In the point o f view taken of the same question by the Cubans and the Americans. This Is due to racial characteristics and methods o f training nnd is not a matter o f Intel lect or learning. It la deeper than that, and lu order to appreciate condi tions here It is necessary to know the people well, to understand the points In which they are superior to us and also wherein our ways are better than theirs.” certain desslcatlon o f the organs o f the trees, Is an Interesting problem. It may be possible, for It has been prov en that a previous desslcatlon is nec essary fo r forcing. Just as it Is for the pnrtbenogenetlc development o f the egg China’s trade with Japan has In o f certain birds. A t any rate, this phe creased 00 per cent ln the laat two nomenon ought to suggest a starting years. point for experiments which might be In the Satenahl district o f Interior valuable In the forcing o f plants and Africa the natives make use o f foot trees. stools. Slg. Blancherl, the venerable presl- [ dent o f the Italian Chamber, finds a hobby In horticulture. Mrs. Baton Fleming, a native o f Dun dee, has recently been elected a member When Scandinavians come to this o f the Royal Astronomical Society. country they frequently have trouble Miss Ethel Foraker, daughter o f A t «•1th their teeth. Later, owing to the torney James R. Foraker o f Cincinnati, difference In diet, they lose most o f and niece o f Senator Joseph Benson their blscuplds am i m olars; but fortu Foraker, la said to hnve accepted a po nately, few Scandinavians have the sition ln a hotel In that city. trouble that T illle did, and few lose A fte r having been In commission for their teeth ln so disconcerting a man sixty-six years, the stage line bet«-een ner. "M y funniest patient,” said the socia West|iort and New Bedford. Mass., has ble dentist, "w as n Swedish girl, who been discontinued, having been usurped cauie in one day to get her teeth ex by the suburban trolley lines. tracted. H er upper Jaw waa absolute The school authorities o f the c ity o f ly bare o f teeth, and tbe low er set was Plainfield, N. J., have raised the pay in such condition that there seemed o f the teachers from 25 to 40 per cent to be nothing to e x tra c t nithout the least solicitation by the “ 'W here are the teeth you want out? teachers or tlie superintendent I asked. Mr. and Mrs. Charles Lawrence o f " Tn my stomach,’ returned the girl, Hucknnll Torkard, Notts, claim to be suddenly bursting into tears. the oldest married couple ln England. “ 'In your stom ach!' I gasped. They have been married seventy-two " 'Yaw , meester,’ she sobbed. 'Last years. Mr. Lawrence la 02 and his week my hov buy uie all new toots on w ife 01. top vor twanty-flve dollar, on Chicago. A gentleman «-ho had a shooting In a T w o days ago my sleep so goot, so-o Scotland glen remarked to an old g o o t! Veil my vake opp, mys toots she gamekeeper that during the month they vor all go down mys t'r o a t I tank maybe you can get them out— mya lady had had four good days "Y es,” said the old man, "but the Sabbath ‘nlppet’ she is tole me to come.' up three o f them.” “ 'Nonsense! They couldn't go down Dogs o f the S t Bernard strain track your throat.' “ Y a w ! Y a w !' •retested T lllls, clap? ed, oqt a number o f the people burled ping a hand to her belt-buckle. *8he Isa under a snowalkle at Gelsenger, Nor there now. She Iss chew, chew, chew, way. in « b le b thirteen persons perish aU the time. She las chew my all In ed. The animals dragged several o f the side up. She Iss hurt so moch my las victims to places o f safety. don't can sleep.’ The British government w ill devote "T illle was evidently sincere,” said $20,000 to start the cultivation o f New the dentist, “ ami I «-as beginning to ! Zealand hemp In the Island o f S t He think that I had a lunatic on my hands, lena. the Inhabitants o f which have «•hen the day «-as saved. My office been reduced to practical destitution door was flung o;>en and un excited boy h.v tbe withdrawal o f the British gar rushed In. rison. " 'O T illle,’ he cried, ‘mother Jnst Emperor W illiam ’s only grandson. found your teeth tucked under your Prince W illiam Frederick Francis Jo m attress! You must have taken them seph Christian Olaf. has been photo out In your sleep.’ graphed In his Imperial cradle. Am er * 'M y goo'n ess" exclaimed T illle, icans have a special interest In this apologetically. ‘ My hov some bodder budding monarch because he was born v lt mys toots every day since I come July Fourth. on America.’ " Count Bellestrem, the president o f Jnal W h a t H o M c a a t. the Reichstag, Is one o f tbe most In That w id ow 'll make a fool o f him If fluential men In the dominion o f the Kaiser. He has been spoken o f aa tbe he doesn't watch o n t" "N o. I have It on very good author “ Uncle Joe Cannon" o f Germany. W ell liked by all classes, he la thoroughly ity that she Intends to marry him." “T hat's what I mean.” — F o rt W orth admired for bis brilliant success as a politician. Record. A curious Instance o f the forcing o f flowers by accident happened near a small village in France recently. A lnrge Are broke out In the village, which nearly destroyed It, says the New York Herald. Swept on by the wind the flames consumed the last house toward the country side and then attacked the naltfh »firing trees o f a pear and apple orchard. The flrst two rows were entirely destroyed, the three follow ing being somewhat pro tected by tbe flrst row » :and the dis tance, «-ere not destroyed, though bad ly damaged. Though the branches o f the sixth row were many o f them scorched and unable to resist tbe bent the remainder of them subsequently exhibited a strange phenomenon. A second flowering tiegnn at the end o f Heptemtier, and 111 October all the branches of the trocs, except those n-tiloh had lieen scorched, were covered with blossoms. They appeared as they would in tin* month o f May. those be ing most heavily laden with blossoms «•tiloh had been most exposed to the heaL Some lilac hushes and plum trees In another direction near which the Are had stopped flowered again, the lilacs esi>eclolly being covered with blossoms. The Are bad lasted only four hours, so that It did not at all resemble ordi nary forcing. A ll the species which blossomed were those whose buds for the following year are formed In the month o f August From tha facts which * e r e gathered from an eyewlt- ness It would seem that It is poaslbla Ask s child wbst It la doing, and If T h e only tim e a woman w ill admit to product a second flowarlng from tba tbe answer Is "N oth in g," It is time to ir faults Is when confessing to «on»e action o f a momentary but strong b eat Investigate.; that answer means mis Whether this sxerta a local Influence, a one who won’t bells vs them. chief. K nlrker— Few girls keep up their music after they are married. Bockcr — And yet some persons say that m ar riage is failure.— New York Hun. a Ills W ife — Have you had a bad day. deur? The Fluancler— Yes, 1 lost over $250,000. Aud the worst o f it Is thut nearly $100 o f thut was uiy own mon ey I— L ife. Uncle— How do you like your employ er? Tommy— I think he’s bigoted. Un cle— In what way? Tommy— W ell, he tlnks dat words ougbter be apelt bis way all de time. M olly— H e Is a student at one o f tbe big college*. P olly— Nonsense! l ie talked with us for an hour when ha waa here yesterday and never used a bit o f slang.— Som erville Journal. "T h is flower is strictly up-to-date," said the florist. “ What do you uieuu by that?" asked tbe prospective cus tomer. "W h y ," be explained, "It waa obtained by grafting.” — Detroit Frea Press. “ Is she pretty?” they asked o f tha young man who was speaking o f his fiancee. “ W ell, I don’t want to boast,” he replied, "but she always gets a seat lu a crowded street car."— Stray Stories. I f the sweet girl graduate o f lust June hasn’t got a school or an engage ment ring yet, it la high time for her to study shorthand and hustle around to get a Job at typewriting.— Somer ville Journal. Ferdy— Really, Patrick, I ’d rather ride Staggers than take a spin in tlm touring car. The Groom— Sure, ’tla strange ye fule that way, sor, consider in’ that Staggers la owuly a wan-hosa- power hoas.— Puck. “ H e claims that he built the first passenger elevators used ln* this coun try.” “ Nonsense! The Mississippi steamboats were running and blowing up regularly long before he was boru.” — Philadelphia Press. “ No, my little girl, I can’t lend your mother any flour or oil or butter or flatirons or lamps or potatoes or any thing else that she aeut you over for. but go back and te*l her I have a lot o f trouble she can borrow.” — Baltim ore American. Mother— Come now. W ill, If you'll only be good I ’ ll give you a penny. W illie— No’m ; I won't be good for less'n live cents. Mother— Why, you were good yesterday for a penny. W il lie— I know, hut yesterday was bargain day.— Philadelphia Press. First G irl— W hat are you w aiting for? W hy don’t you finish your letter to Ella? Second G irl— I don’t know whether to sny "E v e r yours, with truest love," or simply “ Yours affectionately." You see, I can’t endure Ella— 1 think she’s detestable!— Tit-Bits. “ See h ere!” snapped the landlord, who had resi>onded to the tenant's hur ry call for a plumber. “ I thought you said the water in your cellar was two feet deep. “ I t ’s only a few Inches.” “ W ell, that's as deep as my two feet." retorted the tenant, “ and that's too much.” Clara— Did the papers notice your father at the great banquet? Johnny— Yes. Clara— W ell, mamma said she could not see bis name on the list. Johnny— N o ; but the list ends up with "and others." Thnt means papa. They always mention him that way.— Illus trated Bits. M agistrate and M. P.— A fte r mature nnd careful consideration o f your case, I have come to the conclusion that you are a lazy, good-for-nothing rogue. May I ask If you ever earned a shilling In your life? Prisoner— Oh, yes, I have, yer ’onor. I voted fer yer ’ouor once. — The Sketch. Tom — Look at that crowd o f women trying to get In that department store. Dick— Yes, It’s a regular crush. Tom — But It’s so early. Why, the doors aren’t open y e t Dick— Yes, they're the women who fo llo « e d the line o f advh-e In the advertisement: “ Come early and avoid the rush.” — Catholic • Standard and Times. The desperate man, weary o f life, opened an upper window In the sky scraper and threw himself out. lie landed on top o f a load o f mattresses with which a teamster happened to he driving along at the moment. "H an g the luck!” be exclaimed, as he rose to him feet, shook himself, and found that he was practically uninjured. " I might have known this n-ould be the result o f Jumping from the thirteenth flo o r!” Mrs. Jenner Lee Ondego had Just re turned from her summer Vacation. "M y goodness!” she exclaimed, as she Inspected the alterations that had been made In the house during her absence. "T h is Isn’t the kind o f wall paper I wanted. I t won’t harmonize with my complexion at a l l ! ” “ W ell,” Irritably answered her husband, “ you can changa your complexion a good deal easier than we can repnper the whole house." — Chicago Tribune. A clergyman who had accepted an In vitation to officiate at Sunday services In a neighboring town entrusted Ills new curate wltb tbe perforniam-e of his own duties. On returning home he asked his w ife « b a t she thought of the curate's sermon. “ It was the poorest one 1 ever heard." she replied, prompt ly— "nothing In It at all.” Lntrr In ths day the clergyman, meeting hla curate, asked him how he had got on. "Oh, very w ell." was the reply. " I didn't have time to prepare anything, so I preached one o f your unused sermons.” E p is c o p a l A p p r o b a t io n . Bishop Meade o f Virginia wns op posed to the adornment o f churches, nud also to tbe adornment o f the |iersous o f his clergy. “ Good morning. Brother B ro w n !” he said to a young deacon. “ Who curled your hair to-day?” •The Lord." replied tbe young man, wth offended dignity. "In d e e d !" said the bishop. “ It Is very well done." Experience Is a great teacher, so to • real n u t s boost
