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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 29, 1891)
IT 13 NOT TRUE. Jt Is not true that Joy lies dead, Although today our ln-nrts hare Med For mo nntl you It h not true. It Is not nio that llfo H vain, If, from our team, llfo 0110 ilrop Rain Of love's jmre dew It Is not true . It Is not true that death ran end What Joy's loss doth nl:not amend 'Neath sorrow's hue It Is not true. Py heaven's blue, by imsslon'M fire, Hy our love's deep, yet chained, desire, It is not true, It Is not true. William Kt rut hern lu Home Journal. THE LAST CHAIIHT. Slisf Carmen's pet. rlmrlty now was (lie fund fur Mexican Indian. She liarl it since three jears uro, when a lmtulsonic, enthusiastic yonug curate, who was stay Ing in tho same summer hoarding hotiso nf herself, had Interested her lu It. He had been on a ranch lu northern Mexico the year after he graduated from cdege, nnd before he had decided to go into the ministry. Miss Carmen, who had a very vague idea of what a ranch M'as, confus ing it In her mind with cowboys, plun dered roaches and rescued maidens, consid ered Mr. Howard one of those reclaimed victims of a life of d!s!pal!on (he was, by the way, when she met him, just 2il years old), though he had In reality never done anything particularly wrong iti his life. .Mips Carmen belonged to that class of women one never knows Iiom' to speak of, "whether as a "lady" or "young lady," unless one Is addressing the person her self, M'heu one Is npt to venture on the latter term. And It must also lu) ac knowledged she could not. resist the at traction of a man who was "turning over n new leaf;" this species sometimes even toot precedence of hercharity in her favor, nnd that is saying a good deal, for her charity, whatever it happened at the time to be, was to dear to her heart it mado Sier almost a dread to her friends. Per liaps.you met her in a store; before you could hurry by with a "Good morning, JUiss Carmen," she would stop you: "Oh, ZLauraLafargc, you're the very girl I want to see. 1 want you to take a booth at rho fair next week for the charity. You can have any booth you wish, but won't you bo in the 'Mikado?' I M ailt girls who i She agreed too to find a man for her vis will get up handsome costumes, and you ! a-vis, and left her friend radiant oncq know, with your taste," etc. Or: "Mar Karct Wyndoff, I'm so glad I ve met you; just stop wide here a moment, will you? I'm going to a.sk you to help me In a little (International tea I'm getting up for thoso rpoor such poverty, such distress, I can't tell you liow they appeal to me. Now do iprmiiistt to furnish llowers and appear lit 'the Greek group (he costumes will be very simple, and I've asked for veil," etc. Or on the street: "Good morning, Mr. "Gnrcy, won't you turn around and walk wlthmen few moments: I'm going to ask a favor of you, which 1 want you to promise to grant me. It's really nothing at all for you to do, and It is for a very worthy charity; young Mrs. Parley has Paid she will bo Lady Washington, and I Mailt you tio bo George lu an old time tea party." .Arid often before you can refuse she is 'gone, with "Good-by; 1 knew you Mould; kind of yon; good-by." Now 11 Mas theatricals, and for tho Mexican Indians again. Her friends, to 'tell the truth, were getting u little tired I of doing for these creatures. They had Cl)eeu to teas for Iheni, to a klrmess for them, to tableaux, to lectures for them; enough of things to have educated wholo trils's of them, Mrs. Ned Hrown said, If they hud only b.'cn there theinelves. :nd, she added, she really didn't see why thev should be made to suiter anil pay both; U they must give these things, give them, but make the Indians go them selves. However, Mrs. Hrown M'as a lllghty little Moman whom every ono laughed at In their sleeve, while people nil did admire Miss Carmen, though they wire getting u little t ivd of their churl JLies. All these things Miss " rinen felt In an Indcllnlto soil of May r she camo homo from the mission m i .1 ono afternoon. It M'as Mr. IIownH's mission and ho had Hpokcu to beautltully lo the poor children that day. Hut then he always did. He .liad spoken so kindly to her, too; some- aiOM' or other some people seemed to take , it for granted thai she (ould goout in any j Jilnd of weather, with no matter Iiom bad n cold, without any danger, And today 3iad been her birthday, she did not think what birthday, the fact Itself Mas bad enough without being numbered. Sho was getting old, she thought with iv sigh; lcnr me, much too old to bo thinking so much of this handsome young minister, And much too old to have that drop ou her check; she must wall; fasteraud think of something else, and es, she Mould ask her slLtcr to tal;e her mission class, at least for awhile. She passed a wretched beggar sitting ou the curb grinding a unnll organelle thut had stops nearly a minute long between each note. Miss Carmen looked quickly around and then furtively dropped a quarter into the tin cup, uud passed ou. the had been told such charity Mas mis applied, but then she had felt, just like it uud was willing to run the risk. So Mr, JIOMtird m:is really going back to Mexico, not as a ranch man this time, but as a missionary. What should she do when lio Mas gone what, had ll come to thlsf She must think of something else, and tho hurried ou, without noticing two ' voung girls who passed her quickly. "I was afraid she Mould see us," ono of them j ald. "1 know she'd ask me to bo in a . booth or tuke part in those theatricals." Girls Mho uecr did any good in tho world, and probably never Mould, Mho would not een appreciate the self sacrl- 1 icing lalxu tf Miss Carmen. Undoubt- dly the latter did lack Judgment, or let 1 us say moderation, but in her projier 1 inhere, or under able guidance, what I might she not accomplish!1 Sho found a note at home for her from Ullss Tower, saying she was sorry, but lier health M-as so wretched this winter her physician had tnlxxied theatricals, Sho also found Mr Garey's curd, with a hasty note on the hack, which read how much lie regretted he Mould not be able to take the part Miss Carmen had kindly Assigned to htm. Miss Carmen sat dn n and cried. Sho knew it Mas silly, but she didn't care. Sho was tired out nnd over worried and she threw herself dow u ou her couch ami had & "good cry " She Mas lmllilng her eyes o , , . . - - - - mid smoothing her hair when the maid urouguni-r .nr. uunan j n ini. oiiu . . ill another hair pin uud then went riuut down. ..... Oh," sho said, without even greeting him. m, "I'm iHTfectly wretcluHll Two of my Kopie have harked out. I did think when 1 hmt only three lu the play I should have no trouble, but tin only two whocuu net won't act What shall I do?" And shu laughed nervotuly, feeling dan ft'truusl)' rear her mood tiptalis. How nl felt ery orry fur lier, m norry lio did not know what to say. Plnully Ua iiiur fcitiiixJi " wUh I amid Mp you of I couve I couldn't net but can't yonf" Ti s added quickly, as the tlioiiKht came to lilui. "Why don't yon take MIbs Tower's part?" Miss Carmen hltmhed ami laughed. "Oh, no I I am too old; I couldn't." And Howard answered: 'How absurd, MIks Carmen; you know you" And then stopped einbarras-ed. Jte knew lic wan older than he; he had deplored that often, especially of late. He s afraid pcrluipi fhe looked lovn on lilm. He d!d not care alMiut acre. "Iain getting so discouraged," she went on, "I am always tryliiK to help or do good In some May, but I don't seem to succeed. My May Is not the right one; I've over done it. People ate itettliiK tired of my Mih-cription lists. If I could only do fcome honest work myself." An Idea M-as forming in Howard's m!ud, one full of hope, He could give her the opportunity h1ig wished for. . His ago ought not to bo a stumbling block; he Mas sure lie could not 0ve lier more dearly were lie twenty , or thirty years older than he was and Just then a young lady was announced. "Oh, Annie!" exclaimed Miss Carmen, "I'm so glad you've come; I am In tho greatest trouble. Will yon help met" "Of course I will If I can, but you must tell what It Is before I promise, nnd I warn you befoiehand, I refuse to be a Ite becca and tell lemonade, and on no ac count Mill I dress myself up for a Japan ese woman. I did ft once and it Mas too hideously unbecoming; now tell mc" "1 only want jou," continued Miss Car men, "to take part lu n little play to bo given privately here O, excuse me, Mr. Howard Miss Gordon, my rector, Mr. HoMiird, I am so upset, you know, I quite forgot myself. The piny is for" "The .Mexican Indians," Miss Gordon in terrupted; "I knew it; well, why don't j ou ask Grace Jlenleyr" "I did, and she refused." "Hell Matthews then, she nets." "Her mother wont let her." "Why not, Mrs. Porter" "Her husband doesn't npprove." "How absurd! What's the tnatterwith Sue Tower" "Oh, her physician has forbidden her nctlng, and you're the only one left; I wouldn't ask you for I know you nro very busy, but 1 am getting desperate." Miss Gordon said she would do what she could, and took the play book home M'ilh her, though she (old .Miss Carmen she couldn't, promise to he a credit to her. JHUIl, i un nwii v niiini ii lulu i iuiiu you've taken oir my mind," the latter said to A iinle, as sho went away with Mr. Howard, forgetting how long ho was holding her hand until Annie coughed. Miss Gordon told her mother that night if there wa's not so great a difference in their ages she Mould think there Mas something between them. Hut the next day well, Miss Carmen said she Mould have to laugh, if she did not she would have to cry again, it was so crushing. It reminded her of the tlniO' she had a beautiful portiere embroidered to rnflle for the beuellt of some poor mis sion, and the minister, Mho M-as opposed . lt-,,, L-tiM ,i1it.t Inml , to rallies, persuaded her they M ere wrong. , No one Mas M illing to pay what tho por- I tierc M-as worth, so It ended lu her buying It herself and giving up her Washington trip that winter. Now today thu noon I mall brought a letter from Annie. Gordon, ' Mho wrote to know why in the world she ! .ll.ftit ft. ill l.i.t. fli.it... it'itu utiwrliii. Ill till! part, and asking her If she did not know IIMlll v ll u iii-i .in iu imn fiiiKiii ii. that she, Annie, could not slug a. note. And In tho same mail came a letter from the brother of Mr. White, M ho had been her stand by all through, saying his brother hnd the measles, and so, of course, would not bo able, elc. Tho the- atricals looked dubious. In the midst of her consternation Mr. Howard arrived on the scene. She gave hint a trembling hand, and M'as as frightened as could bo lest she should cry. Ho told her almost Immediately what he had conic to ask. "I know I'm young," ho stammered. "O, no!" sho Interrupted, "1 am old." Hut what followed Is theirs, not ours, nor Mrs. Hroun's, wlio said afterward: "Wllat is tho man thinking off She's old enough to be his mother!" Fho was not really, thougli wlmt if she mcio if they . loved each other? As Howard started to leave at dusk, after ho and Miss Carmen had fully dls- cussed the advantages of Mexico for a honeymoon and for work, she said to bin : "It will bo a wedding instead of theal ilcals." "Yes, and you will piny the heroino after all," he answered. "If you'd like to have me ask Miss Gor don" but she never finished that speech. William Clyde Pitch in New York News. Nutritive Value of I'omU, In tho United States the tendency to extravagance, combined with the mis taken notion as to the nutritive value of costly food, causes exceptions to tho rule. Taking the world through, however, tho poorer communities anil classes of people almost universally select those foods which chemical analysis shows to supply the actual nutrients at the loMest cost. Hut, unfortunately, the proper propor tions of the nutrients lu their dietaries are often very defective. 'Thus in portions of India and China rice, lu northern Italy maize meal, lu certain districts of Ger man) and in some regions and seasons in Ireland ixitntocs, and among the poor whites of the southern United States maize meal and bacon, make a large part of the sustenance of the people. 'Ihese foods supply the nutrients in the cheapest forms, but they nro all dellcleut lu pro tein. Tho iH-ople who live uism them nro 111 nourished, and sutler physically, intel lectually and morally thereby. Ou the other hand the Scotchman, as shrewd in his diet as lu his dealings, tlud.i a most economical supply of protein In oatmeal, haddock and herring; and tho thrifty inhabitants of New Kugland sup plement the fat of their pork with tho protein of beans and the carbohydrates of potatoes, and supplement maizo nnd wheat tlour with the protein of codfish and mackerel; and while subsisting largely upon such trugal but rational diets, are well nourished, physically strong and distinguished for their intel lectual and moral force. Professor W. O. AtM'ater in 'The Century, New lt for Wlrts A new use for m Ire Is described by Tho T jilnli'i.r Hills! rll In sii'liliiiineher Zeltlllitf. It (a vlnl. si lluif in vnrlmw ntllltiirv ills, ..i.i . .. ......i . ....ii. ,.a uiuin vi lliiiiil mm pvuiiii viiiuiiiuj, na Well as lu Holland, trials have been mado ot wJrt, ROj,,rt couml wltll II SllbstallCO : nmbllng India rubWr. These soles nro Laid to lw inoVe durable than thoso mado , 1 of it,..fher. and to cost onlv about half tho prlco of Ica'ther New Orlcaiii Picayune, i It Is mighty hard fur er man dat nuWr xa in trouble ter Is) yer trtiefrleu'. It lake u frot ter kwcetvu do wild grujca, ' 0. V. llmllngton, tho lllty iiillllonalre, ns4xi to jksiiuo out miner uy mo ihjuiiu iu Wi9 iiiiiura m Wttiijorunt, THERE. WAS A CHANGE. flow the Mnjeaty of Director Affected lUillroail 1'orter. Two or three gentlemen, including among them a director, were traveling together on the London nnd Northwestern line, when the train drew up at Wlgan station. One of tho pasingers, Ignorant of the par ticular locality, put his head out of tho win dow, nnd, seeing a jiorter MiKtiiig, olitely aid: "What station Is this, my good ninnf "YVlgnn, to bo sure," replied tho twrter in a very Mirly tone. The director, hearing what passed, was much annoyed, and, turning to ids compan ion, remarked: "This sort of thing will never do we must k.i.. i.w.rn KllltV ..ll ll.fu III,,. Will . II . ml(li;.ssillB ,)0 Keiitleinan who' had not yet upokcn, "kindly put the sumo question to tho jKtrter when lie comes this way" Six in tho limn imix'iu ihI, nod thu gentloman , si.ld. "Porter, " ill you ! good enough to tell j me the name of thN Vtntionf" "Wigun, to lu sure," eumo thp answer, with n frown nnd u surlier tone tlinu before. i "Now," said the director, "I will njenk to him and you will sco tho change in his de meanor." Conscious of his importance, nnd of tho paralyzing ell'ect his presence would have on 1 the railway oflleiul, he looked out of tho car ! riago window uml joiniou.sly asked, "Por ter, what place may this IjoT' . ' "Find out, you old idiot I canto tho an 1 wer that nlmo.d. took his breath away. Yan kee lllade. fjlinngeiililtt Weather. Maine Man (lluMiing a story)- Yes, sir. I killed that Ix-nr with uothin' but this little juckkuife. Guess you never lied a tussle with a bear, did ye New York Mar Oil, yes. I was out fish ing one day on Staten Island, when a big ler mado a rui.li for mo uud knocked tho m)Io out of my liiind, leaving mo without even that means of defense. Well, sir, I grabbed that, bear, threw him down uml held him there until ho froze to death. Maine Mini (gasping) I might V dono that many a time myself, but the weather up our way don't change so quick as it does here. Now York Weekly. Tho IMIIor'n Joke. Physician My dear sir, you need sleep. Tell me, do you sleep well nt night? Patient Doctor, I have not had a night's l sleep for eleven yearsl Physician hy, it's a wonder you are not deail or insane! Does it interfere with your busiueshf I'a! Ifii t No, doctor, not n bit. "Indeed? What is your occupation, may I ask (' "I am an editor of a morning paer." Doctor leaves In dlegtist. Ijiwreuco Amer ican. Ordinary I'iiisciiith IIhvo To. A wet duy on Washington street: The Conductor Stop tho car at thecro-ssiu', next time, .luck? Thu Driver What do you want to stop at the erossin' for? "'Cause my wife's goln' to get oIT, an' she don't know how to swim.': Iloston Times. A I Slid SIkii. "Do I look unwell?" "No, I can't say tlmt you look any M-or than usual?" "Well, 1 didn't know, but our family un dertaker met mo twice today and shook hands with mo each timu. I was beginning to get alarmed." Philadelphia Times. Why Un Waited. Night Editor (roaring furiously through SK'iil;iug tube) It's !) o'clock! Why don't you go to press? What are you waiting for? Foreman (with equal fury) The dash blank regular dully dispatch about tho salo of thu Adam Korepaugh circus hasn't come yet! Chicago Times. A Mlntulii'li I'unililo. At a recent performance In a Now York ! opera house, after the great football game, an a number of students lelt their seats between the nets, n good lady was hoard to observe: I 1. , 1 I . I... . . 1 F..II I... .... I illll I II. iuii mill mill iiiusu fiuui ii'iiuws nut a to go homo and go to studying?" Texas Sitt ings. An .Mlu-lit lln i:pt-eled. Dude Doetah, where do neuralgic pain aw generally attack one? Doctor They usually seek out somo weak sK)t in tho system. Where nro yours? Dude Mine aw mine ure in my bwaiu, dootah. Chicago Times, (.'mine lor TIiiiiiUh. "I aw quite fohgot myself foil a mo ment this morning," began Willio Washing ton, who was trying to bo conversational. "For which,"' Interrupted MUs Hello Pep pcrtoti, "you ought to Ik very thankful." Washington Post. All tii ;iiiivi'iiii'iui.. Tourist (in a coal mine, after passing around cigars) Kverything seems to bo wet and tin in . Where can 1 strike a match? Miner Height here, sor. Dinuls, lift th' rubber cloth otl'eu th' jiowder keg l Now York Weekly. Wliut lie llml Killed. A French gentleman, after a grouse drlva ill Scotland, being it si. is 1 by his host wliut he hud killed, replied: "Of ire grouse none zey are too dllllcult; but of so vild sheep I have seven over re hill!" Kxcliaugc. la Union Wllfti' tli 1 1 nil t In? "You don't love mo any more, John. Tim idea of getting homo at this time of night." "Why, my dear, it's a grcut deal earlier than 1 Used to get homo whilu I wiu courting you," New York Sun. Thoughtful for 1IU Witr. I Old Mr. NolghUrly-Why don't you hitch llllll 10 UlO post, Klllliy I Suminv Father did. but I w as afraid h - - - - misht brwik it ami get muiy.-I.ife. . . A Iu" u'm', T""rl I?irt Citlten-StruwUirrn in the market, I ""tiro. Kooowl Ditto-Ye-, mid it' a long wy from my mouth to market, Washliii;tou PO.U Vrry llni'lded, Culluwhy-MU IVrl U a deulded blond, isn't ho I lint Ye, Um ilml'lud, You ouiiht u ImVM heaitl hr rjM( imt.oIjtMreiicti Auwi run, rit COULD KEEP A SECRET. A Tarn About fltnnnnalt Jackson and an Iliqnlaltlvs Cnlonel. An old soldier at the capital yesterday told this story of Stonewall Jackson: ; It was during bis valley campaign, and a , battle was expected within a day or two, though Jackson's plans wero so carefully ' guarded thut not oven his adjutant could guess them Intelligently. This self reliance vins characteristic of Jackson, and his aver ' sion to telling his plans was well known amongst his oillcers and men. In fact, it was his ixjllcy to surprise bis own men no less thnn to surpris. the enemy. Geo. Jackson was ono of a group of officers, and another of tho group wus a Georgia colonel who Is still living. Conversation wus dragging. Jackson was thoughtful and had little to say, and tho effect was dampening. Finally, Just to revive tho conversation, the Georgia colonel asked abruptly: "General, will ue have a light to-morrow." Everybody knew in no instant that the blunder was irreparable und nobody realized this more than the colonel. Jackson turned quickly and stared full in the sjieaker's fuce. Then he slowly surveyed the colonel from head to foot, and back again. The silence us puinful. "Colonel," said tho general slowly, but not in an unkind tone, "can you keep a secre "Yes, general," was the warm, if er .ir rassed, assurance, "I know I can, al. Yes, sir" "Are you quite certain, colonel T' "I am quito certain, general." "Well, colonel," in the sains quiet, even tone, "so can J, sir," j l lie coionei s luce nusneii crimson, ano mere was a iieutmy silence lor a Halt minute or moro. "Now, colonel," said Jackson, with some feeling, "that rudeness of mine hurt me ss much as ic did you, but I trust thut it has taught you u valuable lesson. If wo do have a light to-morrow, colonel, your regiment shall have a chance." Atlanta Constitution. Suppressing: tlit l'ren. The arrest of two editors for printing an extract from another paper question ing the validity of the anti-lottery law is certainly carrying things prettv high in this land of free speech nnd liberal government. Toe 1'oil has no objection to the stamp ing out of the lottery companies, but the line should he drawn, it thinks, at that point where irresponsible underlings of the government attempt to stamp out the press. Oil this line the Atlanta Conslhnl iun says tli it " this policy will not work. If lotteries cannot he destroyed without also destroying the freedom of the press, the people will be in favor of letting the lotteries alone. We cannot nflbnl to yield our right to speak and publish fair criticisms of public measures. If we yield tho right in one instance, we may expect to be forced to keep silence when over it suits the government to demand it. Fortunately it is no easv matter to bulldoze the newspapers ol America. The. menace of tine nnd imprisonment will intimidate very few. No matter wliat Federal odicialB may hold, the newspaper men of this country will not change their conviction that an honest criticism or discussion of tho provisions contained in the anti lottery law cannot with any show of justice Ihj" held to be a violation of that law. If they are mis taken in this belief, then the law will have to be repealed or modified. In this Republic the goverment cannot array it selt against the pn ss and have the suj port of the people " It is the policv nnd practice in some of the monarcbles to inhibit criticism hy the press of the acts of government, but until thu enforcement, or tlieallegtd enforcement, of the anti-lottery law no ono rii earned that such a thing would be attempted in the United Slates. Hous ton (Te..) 1'urt, September 10. Tho Ileal Ciiiikp. Hostess What a modest youth Jimmy is in society! Ho hesitates to address himself to tho belles, while you, Frank, are just tho other way. Frank Pshaw 1 it Isn't modesty that ails Jim. "No. What then?" "It's lack of nervo." Chicago Times. rem full "Awful accident at the museum.'' "What was it?" "Tho wild dog from Borneo got loose last night and ate up three-quarters of the ossified mini while ho slept." "Doos the ossillcd man know it!" "No; they're afraid to tell him." Life. Why She looked I)oeful. Ho (meditatively) What makes that toll lady in blue look so unhappy? Sho (carelessly) Oh, sho was disappointed in love. Ho (interestedly) Fellow went back on her? She (sharply) No married her. West Shore. lln Tried to Fill Her Tlace. "My wife is a great and noblo woman, of wonderful domestic eudowmonts." "Why this sudden advance in your esti mate of her?" "Shu left me to tako care of the children a couple of hours yesterday." Chicago Times. A Stroke nf Tortim. Hobbs I made ten dollars just now. Pobtis How so? Hoblw I met Nobbs on the street, and he asked me to lend him twenty dollars until to-morrow. Luckily, I had only ten dollars iu my pocket. Sotnorville Journal. mine It On. Prisoner (to prosecuting witness) Can't you lend mo fJo, sir?" P. W, Why, you thieving scoundrel, you stole f 75 from me yesterday." 'Pri-souer I know It; but I needed a hun dred, Washington Star. A DlncourutliiK ltrply. AITectiouato Relative Why do you sit to far off, Cousin Jennie' Come over here on the sofa and sit alongside of me. Cousin Jennie I'm thinking that for a dis tant relative you uro uear enough already. Texas Sifting. Where 11b f.et UN Olir.tuuU. Mr. Cumso (reading) "F, O. Kant, who lives near Wheohug, bus a complete set of al in.iuaes runuliig back to the year 17SS." Cumso Kaut I 1 don't recall any mlnttrel of thut uaiue. Yeuowiue'i News. Drtli:iilnc He (of Montreal) Do you tieliera In tho iinnxatUm of I'auaila to the United State? She wf Now York, coyly) Do you mean nationally or individually I lie My darlmgl 'Time. Vlir kho llould (! It, "I wttuul like a Chine) boat for my colleo. t!un of 0iirluttie. Whore voul4 I uH on, Mr lluiuvrl "At th Juuk thep, uiftdiUi.'-Muusejf'i IN LOVERS' WALK. In Lovers' Walk the wind Is wild; To right and left tho leaves nro piled. Or writhe amid tho branches bare. Or pad the runways nf the hore. Yet here tho sweet June days have smiled. With wonders then the woods were aisled; The freshest rose and nlrs most mild Wero found hy those who wandered there In Lovers' Walk. For all those hearts unreconciled That were with whispered words tiesrulled When larks were recline In the air. And scents were blown from everywhere. The wind is nobbing like a child In Lovers' Walk. -Hester Mlddlelon Symes. All He Coitld Kt fur Ttio Cents. A young Bostonian visiting this city, and who thought himself very smart, was easily sold by an old "gag." Pre tending to be something of an epicure, he was praising the sea products found near tho Hub, when a Philadelphia law yer remarked: "But you should eat our oysters. They would knock you silly. Why, I can give you all the Philadelphia oysters you can eat for ten cents!" The Bostonian bet fifty dollars on his reputation as an oyster eater. So one evening, after a period of semi-starvation to fit himself for the contest, he and the lawyer went to a well known oyster sa loon not far from Broad and Chestnut streets. The lawyer threw a dime on the counter, and told the oysterman to go ahead. Ten oysters were opened and rapidly consumed by the Bostonian. His month watered for more, but the lawyer declined to order them, claiming lie had won the fifty dollars. A storm of re proaches greeted him. in the midst of which he calmly remarked: "My dear boy. have you not had all the oysters yon can eat for ten cents? Ask the man. ilo won't give you any more for the money " Philadelphia Record. Wiimrii uml Age. I just wonder what makes some wom en so mean to other women about tho question of age. I was at a reception the other afternoon not a man in sight goodness! wasn't it dull, and one girl said to another: "How old do you think Miss El is? "She will never seo thirty." said the oie questioned. "I kneM her ten years ago, and she was out in society then." "She makes herself up cleverly." said the first speaker, and just then Miss H walked up You ma' never be lieve it. but she went straight to the one who was inquiring about lier age and who poses as a debutante, and asked her if sho remembered when the cholera was here. It was positively awful. Then they gave each other the sweet smile of mortal hatred, and parsed on to new victims. It is so foolish to try to dispute with time. I would never do it. but all the samo it is very ill bred in people always hinting about Iiom- old you are when yon are still in your teens. Detroit Free Press. Smoke Itliihsoma. "Did you ever see a smoke blossom?' asked au old smoker. "Well, the way to make them is this: Blow a ring in a still atmosphere und then wutch it. The smoke making the ring revolves toward the center ius you look toward it. While it is floating uwiiy a part of the ring shoots slowly away from the rest, form ing a loop. When the two sides of this loop comes almost together the loop seems to burst at its apex, and a lily shaped blossom appears there. Some times this blossom will break up into other smaller loops and they will pro duce smaller smoko blossoms as did the larger one. I can't account tor it. but a smoke ring invariably bears these queer blossoms. " New York Sun. Children alTraysi Enjoy It. i SCOTT'S EMULSION! of pure Cod Liver Oil with Hypo- ) phosphites of Lime and Soda la 1 almost as palatable as milk. j Children enjoy It rather than ! otherwise. A MARVELLOUS FLESH PRODUCER It Is Indeed, and the ( little lads and lassies who take cold J easily, may be fortified against a ) cough that might prove serious, by J taking Scott's Emulsion after their j Liiiouih uuniig ina nuimr bouiuiii j llexcare of substitution ami tinltutloni.J rortUiul, Orejun, A. 1 Arnntronic. 1'rin. Branch Scluxil Ci itil llin. CoixriiE, Mittni, Oregon. Mm courwi of ttudjr, tame rato of tuition, llusiuess, Shorthand, Bi'In mlon tlimuithnut the rar fl'iilrnu a-tmit-ua at anjr Un. lulogue from ellhtr school, free. THIS ohk at est h'len Vj Clitcl.fit I lit- ICIIIrr. Atkyeurdcfclrrf t crrr lor Krcc Ciu-uur ta Petalni".! Inrutat r Co., Pctaluma, Cat HUNTERS EQUIPMENTS Hl fJ irningTWitie. Kl ureal variety, low rrUva Olii itaiaK'itln trade, Fend fr iutotM. HKO. v . hlUlM K, fl5 Kraruy l.,hn IVam-lx-o. Hi (1 lilhaacKnawlenaad dln icmedr lor all Th unnatural disc ha rcea and lirtTaladlseaatiabluirii A erutnrur forlbrdebllh Ullllf k'UaM IKCUlla iJWjUlrn. WKssirW Irri-r lllandfMlf lUlGtiivwiru in rmaiuiuiHU( n w i an tumrsis. qWK.NO, Ottilia.!, IIH ill nruuHII) I'HIVK ., fy LMrtxin liUt-4 S4M tun auMiws, Wl sm. Ct.tll.gaaaWi SEEDS ALL Ol'R SKED3 AUK TK8TED. If you want the very best poods that you know will crow, at cash prices, write ns. W" F. L. POSSON &SON,Wl"use 2d Street Portland, Oregon. Front St. )ut that inyour pipe and Jinioke it Price ought to be one of the least considerations when buy ing smoking tobacco. If you want tha best and are willing to pay a few cents extra, buy the Mastiff Plug Cut; there is more solid comfort in one pack age than you can get out of a dozen others. Packed in can vas pouches. .1. II. I'nee Tnlwpeo Co.. Klehinond, Vh. "German Syrup" G. Gloger, Druggist, Watertown, Wis. This is the opinion of a man who keeps a drug store, sells all medicines, comes in direct contact with the patients and their families, and knows better than anyone else how remedies sell, and what true merit they have. He hears of all the failures and successes, and can therefore judge: "I know of no medicine for Coughs, Sore Throat, or Hoarseness that had done such ef fective work in my Coughs, family as Boschee's -T-. nf German Syrup. Last Sore Throat, winter a Hoarseness, at my store, who was suffering from a very severe cold. She could hardly talk, and I told her about German Syrup and that a few doses would give re lief; but she had no confidence in patent medicines. I told her to take a bottle, and if the results were not satisfactory I would make no charge for it. A few days after she called and paid for it, saying that she would never be without it in future as a few doses had given her relief. ' ' J. McCRAKEN & CO., -DEALERS IN Roche Harbor Lime, Portland Cement, Gol den Gale and Utah Plaster. Hair. Fire Brick and Fire Clay. LAND PLASTER. GO North Front Street, Cor. I. PORTLAND, OK. PIANOS ORGANS. WINTER I HARPER, 71 Morrison Street, Portland, Or. BOX 802. HOYT 6l CO. Want nn iiRent in every town in Oregon, Wash ington ami Idaho to hell PIANOS and ORGANS On commission. No stock or cnnHii! needed. Music teiiohera preferred. Special rates on nil goods. Write tor purticulara. I'OKTLANII, OH. sj-sg i;ltill.lWillj;l;.i,lrlJll If Ml II U.I.J.I.llfl LJI lll-l-IIIB IIB I'lUKWIl'IWI'l-WW JOHNSTON & LAWRENCE, - WilOr.KHALK AND RKTAII. Plumbers' and Engineers' Supplies, Hand and Steam Pumps, Iron Pipe. Rams, Pipe Covering, Lubricators, Water Motors, Fans and Ventilators, Cash Registers, Etc. Write for prlcvs. 232 FIRST ST., PORTLAND, OR. C'ontriwtom on heating and ventilating huiHlliigH. Estimates furnished. N THE. PIPE Leading medical authorities state that new and improperly cured tobacco when heated in the pipe produces a rank vege table poison. I Tolwcr.i like liquor can only be improml oj ngt. : This is the reason why "Seal of North Carolina" is the most popular brand of smoking to bacco in the United States. It is made from tobacco, at least three years old. Its rich mel low hinoke has never Ixien equaled $11 el Nr) Carolina is rutu rwi'nl lu Paiwil t Mil IWlw nt u ill In Ml TREES r