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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (July 25, 1889)
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. flow IU News Is Collected anil Distributed to the Varlout Paper. Tho name of tho Associated Tress de scribes itsolf. It is (in association of tho principal newspapers of the United States for tho collection and distribu tion among; themselves of tho news of tho day's events. It has no corporate existence, but is based upon articles of i Association by which tho members bind themselves to place at the disposal of all the nowspapers in the association all the news, local or telegraph, within their immediate territory. On this plan there have been organized two as sociations, tho New York and tho West ern Associated Press, which exchange their nows on an equal basis and are under ono management, that of Wil liam Henry Smith, who was chosen general manager of tlr estorn Asso ciation in ISC) 9 and joint manager of the two associations in 1882. Tho Now York Associated Press comprises all the principal nowspapers in the cities east of Pittsburgh, tho West ern Association all those wost of that city. Subordinate to these two chief organizations aro smaller asso ciations, generally organized from tho smaller nowspapers in each separate State, tho llrst grudo papers being members of one of tho two principal associations. The chief ofllco of tho New York and Western Associated Press are In Now York City and Chica go and from thorn radiato tho Associa ted Press telegraph wires, combined in convenient circuits, to all the cities where newspapors which aro members of tho two organizations are located and where tho associations have subor dinate offices presided over by tho agents and their assistants. In the smaller cities the proprietor of ono of the papers which belongs to tho subor dinate association is tho sigent of the chief organization anil is responsible for the transmission of tho news in his territory to the nearest distributing point. These distributing points are always located in the cities where a regular Associated Press agent is quar tered and where the full report is received. From these places tho report is condensed or "boiled down" and telegraphed over tho tele graph company's wires to tho papers in the smaller towns within tho surround ing territory. Chicago is both a gen eral otlico and a distributing point St. Louis is a distributing point only. Jefferson City simply receives tho "pony" or "boiled down" report from St. Louis and sends to that place what ever news may be of general interest to tho Associated Press papers. As an example of the workings of tho Associ ated Press take the news of tho terrible hurricane which wrecked tho Gorman and Amorlcau vessels in tho Apian harbor at Samoa. The report of the event was prepared at Apia by tho As sociated Press agent there. If there had beon cable communication between that placo and San Francisco ho would hnvo cabled tho report. As it was ho was forced to send it by mail. When it reached tho Associated Press oflico in San Fnmoisco tho report was sent di rect to Chicago, the headquarters of tho Western Associated Press. Thoro sev eral manifold copies of tho report were mady as the operator took it off the wire. One of thoso c lies was given to the.Now York Associated Press oper ator who transmitted it to Now York. Another copy was given to tho operator who works tho Western Associated Press wires which run into the various cities whore tho Western Associated Press nowspapers aro located, of which St. Louis is one. Tho agent thoro "boiled down" tho re port for his "pony" service, and filed it with tho telegraph company for transmission to tho towns receiving it, Jefferson City, for oxample. At Chi cago tho "pony " roports woro filed in tho same manner, as thoy also woro at all tho distributing points. At each place enough copies aro made to supply the Associated Press papers. Suppos ing Tascott should turn up in Jefferson City, Mo., tho Associated Press paper thoro would telegraph tho nows to St. Louis. Tlienco it would bo sent to Chi cago, and from thoro it would recolvo general distribution. Tho foreign news of the Associated Press is obtained from tho I lavas Agency, with head quarters at Paris; tho Wolfe Agency, which covers tho nows of tho Latin country; tho Router agoncy, which jathors German and continental news; and tho Central Nows Agoncy, which collects gonoral nows. For this it ex changes American nows. Chicago Inter-Ocean. i A Tale of Two Widows, They had both lost tholr husbands; ono was a widow of fifty, tho other was about twenty-two. Tho older ono call ed upon the younger ono to condolo with hor and thoy wept upon ono an other's neoks and recalled thomorits of tho dear deceased. It was astonishing how much the old huiband and the young oim had been aliko in tholr dis position ami character at loast thoy both sun- a distinct resemblance in every point. Which shows that matri mony does not roally chango a man, nor ago either wln ho is dead. But thoy had a most delightful time until tho young one, putting hor arms around the old one's nock, sobbod through her tears: "I know It is selfish of mo to say so muciPnbout my own sorrow. Uut really I do feol that it is go much worse for you than for mo. I don't know how I should have folt if this had happonod to mo when i was your ago and had no chance of getting anothor." The tonrs froze suddonly and tho old ono doos uot spank as sho passes by.- San Francisco Chronicle. POINTS O" iTIQUETTE. Advice Katjrto ltememt,tf ami to I'ntctloe In an KiiifTRritrj. In the mad whirl of tho cotillon, if you wear rendy-mndo clothing bought from an irresponsible dealer, and henr a b-z-z-t that don't harmonize with the F string on the bass fiddle, it is entire ly correct and proper to not "forward and back" according to the commands of tho figure-caller, but to back straight ahead without balking until you reach the wall, when a pin neatly utilized may cover your embarrassment nnd re treat. People who snicker tinder such circumstances should be put outside the pale of good socioty. When invited out to dinner and you inadvertently get a huge mouthful of mince pie that is hot enough to melt tho solder off a gas-pipe, tangled up In your epiglottis, do not act as if you had the whooping cough, hut rise calmly and with a slight-of-hand movotnont toss the offending morsel behind the nuijollca dog in tho corner, meantime patting his head as though you thought him alive. This graceful act never falls to win tho heart of your hostess, who thinks you Intend hor faithful friend to partako of the festivities. Soma writer on etiquette, a good many years ago, said that it was per fectly propor to eat fried chicken with tho fingers. I have often noticed poo pie soizo on a wing and rip it open like thoy would tear a yard of clothing ma-' terial off a bolt of calico and so tho cracking of the crazy bone was audible ail over the dining-room. It Is true that some fried chickens require heroic treatment, but when an apprentice in etiquette tries to jerk tho goose-ilesh off tho second joint of a Louis XIV. hen and squirts a streak of gravy into tho oye of his neighbor it does seem that a new code regarding tho best manner of shattering tho remains of a hard-boiled fowl should be introduced. When tho sheriff of the county serves a subpoena on you, it is considered in good tasto to attend his rocoption with out further Invitation on his part. Some sticklers on politeness, however, who find that It will jirovent their wit nessing a ball game, go to the oxtrome of sending around a physician's certificate to tho effect that they are iudisposed from tho influence of the sportive ele ments. Don't uso snuff if your falso teeth are not strictly adhesive. 1 once heard ot a case In which this rule was not ob served, when the transgressor, in a thoughtless moment, nearly knocked tho oye out of a twenty-tivo-dollnr King Charles spaniel. No one but a boor will snoro in the Volapuk language In a church where a sermon is being del.vered in Knglish. Observance of tho harmonies is ono ol the greatest traits of tho true gentle man. Peoplo who have enlargod, Ro manesque nasal chords will be inter ested in an invention which a friend of mlno is getting up. which ho calls tho "Sure Snore-Killer." It is a phonetic arrangemont connected with a pillow sham holder, and when tho air vibra tions aro four lines below the clef, to use a musical term, tho holder drops and hits tho sleopor across the bridge of the nose. Four caveats and a num ber of legal retainers have already been filed. Don't play practical jokes on a spiu dog whose tail is done up like the let ter Q. When you order meat from your butcher don't ever use tho term "limb of mutton."' Ho will think that you never intend paying for it. In all cases of doubt about the minor points of etiquotto, a strong bluff on a wea'k hand will almost always win. Rochester Union. SHOE-STORE TRAGEDY. The Shock Which Killed n Clerk of Many Year' Kxperlnnce. Tho shoe emporium was dosortod. All alone tho clerk stood in tho midst of a chaos of unbuttoned shoos and dis arranged slippers. For over an hour ho had vainly en deavored to fit tho foot, whims, oyo, pocket-book and othor peculiarities of proud and aristocratic Mrs. D'Width. Ho was tired out, disgusted with bus iness life, and, in fact, life of any sort; and as lie viciously buttoned up the dainty specimens of artistic footwoar and Crushed them into the cartoons, he might hnvo beon heard to utter things in relation to tho proud Mrs. D'Width's peculiarities which wero considerably removed from tho complimentary, and would have surprised and shocked tho lender of fashion and socioty could sho hnvo heard thorn. Tho poor clerk was dlscouragod by his falluro to make a sale. Ho was weary of thoso efforts of women to de ceive evon tho practiced shoo salesman as to the sizo of tholr feet; and ns tho door suddenly openod to admit a trimly built and prottlly dressed little woman, ho heaved an anxious sigh beforo ho as sumed his ladles'-fine-shoo smile and stopped politely forward. "I will look at some fine shoos, com-mon-sonso toos, low broad heel, high cut vamp, hand-welted solo, Dongola kid, and with buttons, If you ploaso." Tho clork's wholo system received a sovero shock at tho unusually succinct and complete description, which ho was just about to obtain by shrewd questioning. Ho recovered, however, sufficiently to gasp, "What sizo ploaso?" "I havo been wearing," said tho trim llttlo woman, "a numbor two-and-a-half 'H,' but I'm sure it Is much smaller than I ought to bo wearing, and I think I'll havo this timo a threo C,' and if that Is not largo enough, a throo-and-a-half 'IV " Tho trim llttlo woman uttered a hor ified scream. Tho double shook had beon too grant; tho shoo clork of long oxporlonco lay upon ono of tho gor geously upholstered dlvuns, cold and llfolti- Puck. JOLLY LEMON PARTIES. The Latent Fad In Washington Social Kntertalnmenl. It seems ns if tho poor littlo lemon had arrived at tho height of its useful ness when made to do duty, with tho adjunct of ten cents' worth of eitrio acid, for a barrel ot church lemonade, but now the "Progressive Lemon Party" is brought to tho front, and hero It plays a part unassisted by any chemical compounds of itself. A prominent Washington lady Issued in vitations last week which read: Mas. Jones. At home. Tuesday. T p. m. Plvitte brinp n lemon. Of course every ono who received ono of these mysterious summonses was consumed by curiosity. It re minded one of tho incident of a South ern Senator who received a card with tho c:iballstic letters signifying that the owner had "called in person." Not understanding the card etiquette of Washington ho sent his card In re turn, witli the lotters "S. It. N." in one corner. Wmt could it mean? No ono seemed to know, so tho recipient determined to ascertain if possible. The next timo lie saw his friend he re marked: "Sny, Senator, what do tho letters 'S. It. N.' mean on your card?" Why, sent by a nigger, of course." " What could "Please bring a lemon" mean? Tho only way to ascertain seemed to be to comply with tho invi tation. Tho Washington Mnrkot seemed glutted with the meanest littlo dried-up lemons ever seen. Tuesday at seven p. in., with the lemons in their hands, tho guests presented themselves at Mrs. Jones' hospltablo home. They wero shown into a charm ing little cloak room, with yellow dec orations, and after removing wraps wero greeted by tho hostess, who was resplendent in a black lace over a lemon-colored satin, and carried in her hand an immense bunch of yellow roses. After greeting each guest, tho host ess asked her to "tako her lemon to the dining-room and register." Tho dining-room was a blaze of golden light from tiny fairy lamps with yel low shades. The dining table had lemon-colored silk napcry, which was relieved by a fiat centerpiece of deli cate ferns and Catherine Mermot roses. At a side table sat a lady and gentleman, who, all wero Informed, composed the "Squeezing Committee." This committee took the name on a register, and tied a ribbon, marked in such a way as to bo distinguishable, on each lemon. After the arrival of all the guests and tho marking of all tho lemons, they wero invited to again assemble in tho dining-room while the "Squeezing Committee" counted tho seeds." Kach lemon was cut in half, tho seeds extracted, and, after being counted and duly accredited to tho owner on the register, they woro placed in a beautiful transparent glass bowl. The lemon was taken by the "Squeezing Committee" and "squoze" into an immense punch-bowl. Tho guests wero then invited to a repast of strictly lemon-made edibles lemon ice, lemon ice-cream, lemon cake, lemon jelly, sardines and lemon, lom-on-cream pie, and every conceivable sort of lemon-lliivored food. Placed beside each plate was a bunch of yel low roses, tied with a satin bow of the samo shade. After partaking of this unique re past, tho glass bowl containing tho seeds was placed on tho table and a prize offered to hor who should guess tho number of seeds therein, and a "booby prize" to him who should hazard the least accurate guess. After numerous methods, both fair and foul, had been resorted to, and each "guess" had been duly registered, tho seeds were counted mid the prizes awarded. Tho winner of tho grnnd prize, coming within three of the cor rect number, received nn exquisite lemon-colored glass lemonade bowl, while tho "booby" was mado happy with a wooden loinon-squoezer. A prize wns then awarded to her whoso lomon contained tho most seeds, and another to her who hud tho fewest. Meanwhile, skillful hands had pre pared a punch in tho largo bowl into which tho lemons were squeezed. Washington Lotter. NATURAL -f;ME-KEEPERS. How Mm .Natives of MiMiiiKiirtt'itt- Men nil re the l'rof;ri'HH ol Time. Clocks and watches are still raro among tho peoplo of Madagascar. Time is marked oithor by tho moro regular incidents of daily life, or by the points reached by tho sun's rays in different parts of tho house through tho day, a method which reminds ono of tho dials in use among tho Greeks and Romans. Tho othor method has .ill tho charm of tho shephord's cal endars. According to these tho progress of tho year was marked by tho appearanco or tho disappearance of birds and bios joins. Tho following is given as tho ardor of tho day in Madagascar: About Daybreak 0 a. m. The dew In dry 7 a. in, feed cattle H a. in. Sunshlno on tlio roof... , ii a. in, l'lie duy Is wide open 10 a. m. Sun at doorstep , 11 a. m. Sun over tlie ridjf'J-- K m. Sun hwe fn tho door 1 p.m. Sun khlnct on rlco mortar 'i p; m. Sun on eait wall i p. m. Collect cuttle a p. m, rtie red kuti..,. ; r:30p,m. Sutuet 0 p. in. .VkjIc rlco 7 p. in. But rite H p. hi. 5un tire in tliuuapltol 'J p. in. I'eoplo lie down 10 p m. Midnight II in. FrotfcrouklnK, , a a.m. ;ockcrowln... 8:30a. m. Seen the color of cuttle. 6:30 a. hi. The eut U light .?. 5: a. m Jowolors' Weakly, m i "Got out o' here," mild tho lion to tho china egg. "You don't boloni to my soL" Harper's Ilnar. CURE rXJH SUICIDE. Am Tnerltabte Ailment of th Tim. nf How to Treat It. The spread of suicide is alarming some of our cotempornrles. and that they should bo alarmed is not to be wondered at, perhaps, if the statement made is correct that "within tho last three months three clergymen, three postmnsters, six " physicians, twelve well-to-do merchants, seven office holders, three lawyers, three bankers, four railroad officials, two artists, three mayors, ono journalist, onc-j;rmy offi cer and two capitalists hare, for various reasons, voluntarily shuflled off thU mortal coll." But in viewing such a record a little philosophy is desirable. An Increase of suicide is not necessarily a proof that the world is growing more unhappy. On the contrary, it may mean that tho general state of society is improving. Men and women do not kill themselves because their material condition Is unbearable, but lovause some mental state leads them to prefer tho sleop of death, no matter "what dreams may come." to the perplexity and moral tension of existence. The most miserable of people, speaking materially, aro the least given to sui cide as, for instance, the Spaniards and tho Italians. Suicide is vastly more prevalent among the better nour ished and better educated Germans than among either of the nations we have named; the thrifty and intelligent Danes and Saxons are most given to suicide of all tho peoples of Kit rope, while squalid and benighted Spain has tho lowest suicide percentage. If we comparo tho epochs of the world, we find that in Rome, in tho days of the glory of the republic and tho empire, suicide was much more prevalent than it was in tho darkness of tho Middle Ages. Suicide Is a malady of cultivation a characteristic, it may be said, of an advanced and oven prosperous state of society. In the United States, whore, in the live years hot ween 1882 and 1887, 8,220 persons took their own lives, only 270 of thoso deaths woro attribut able to destitution, U is to, "ond tho heartacho," and not to osoapo unbear able material conditions, that people take tholr lives: and this heartacho or world weariness in quite us distinctly traceable to tne increased sensitiveness of organization on tho part of a culti vated generation as is the delight in progress, in society, in art, in music, nnd in literature, that I s also char acteristic of this epoch of the world. Tho prevalenco of suieido is in many wavs lamentable; out there is no reason why the world should alarm it self unduly about it, or, treating it ns if it were due to some preventable cause, like an epidemic of diphtheria, should call out, "What Is to bo done?" Nothing is to be dono, at least by so ciety as a whole. Suicide is an inevit able ailment of a timo, which, on tho whole, is tho best time that the world has ever had. But though socrety can do nothing to restrain suicide, tho individual being supremo in at least this, respect, some thing may be done, and effectively. too, by tho individual who feels tho urging to self-destruction strong within him. If no consideration of tho here after gives suclr a ono pause, it is in his power to put himself in healthy harmony with nature, if ho will, by oboyiug tho philosophical injunction to "look outward and not In;" to admit to his lifo tho light of nature first comprehending that nature is not a thing exterior to him, but that it is himself and he is nature and not for over shut himself within the darkness of a partial and selfish view of life; and, uxamining In this light his con dition, to determine whother tho leth argy and despair which Impel him to suicide are not of his own making, nnd w ether tho natural gift of hope and iiealtn aro not still within recovery. Boston I ranscript. THE HORSE STARTED. A I.uilj- niicIpllni'H n Itnlky Anlnutl With Some Iiirnnveiilriice to Ilernelf, "What aro wo stopping for?" said tho lady. "Balky horso on tho track," answered the gontlcman. "Ho won't move for whipping or pelting or whis pers in his ear or any thing." Did 1 over tell you," sho asked, "about my experience with a balky horse? No? Well. It was out on tho Colorado plains. Tho most elegant young eligible of our set had Invited mo to ta .e a rido behind his high-spirited, line-blooded horse. I got myself up to do justice to the occasion. All wont delightfully till, when wo wore on tho open plain outside Denver, that valu able animal concluded to pause in his rapid motion and meditate. My escort shook tho reins, clucked porsuaslvoly, demonstrated encouragingly, gavo a touch of tho whip, at which the horso reared and kicked viciously, but still wo woro stationary out on that lonoly sandy lovel. My ologant escort grow red in tho faco with mortification, and clenched his teeth so as not to lot Hllp any regrettable words. 'If you will allow mo to got out I could start him,' ho said, 'O, by no means.' I rojoinod, I could novor hold him. Let mo gut out, and try putting sand in his mouth. 1'vo beon told that worked like a charm.' And ho It did. I clatnborod out of tho buggy, grabbed a good list full of Hue sand, opened tit) jaws ol that homo, and throw it In. Tho as tonished horso tore off like a flash, and us I olood alone, llvo miles from homo in that Military placo and watched the maddoned horso, tho poworloss rirlvur, and tho black buggy grow a moro dot In tho dlbtanco, I decided tho experi ment had beon u perfect success as far us starting tho horso wus concerned." Chicago Journal. I ItWImMOrer Hill and Vale I.Ike a ITafll Karth-Worm. Tho great wall of China Is, after all, only wall. And it was built with tho samo object as any othor wall 1( keep people from coining whoro thoj were not wanted. Mr. Toole's fntnoui nccount of It Is as historically accurate as any. "Tho most Important build ing in China." he is accustomed tc say, "Is tho Chinese wall, built t keep the Tartars out. It was built al such an enormous expense that th Chinese never got over it. But tin Tartars did, and tho way thoy accom plished this feat was as follows: One! went first and t'other went arter." ll differs from other walls in ouly twe respects its ago and its size. The former is 2102 years; tho latter Is such that It Is tho only work of human hands on the globe visible from tlx moon. (1 tako no responsibility fot elthor of these statements.) The Chinese name for it is Wan-ll-ch'ang-eh'ong. "the wall 10.00011 long." And the gato on this high-way is called Pata-ling.and Is about fifty miles north west of Pekin and 2.000 feet above tha sea. Beyond it lies Mongolia. Half an hour after this first glimpse I stood upon tho wall itsolf. The gateway is a largo doublo one, with a square tower upon It, pierced with oblong openings for cannon, of which a dozen old ones lie in a heap, showing that at ono timo tho road was sorl ously defended at this point. A rough stairway leads to tho top, which is about twenty feet wide, with a crouol lated parapet on each side, and you can walk along It as far as you can soo, with hero and thoro a scramble whoro it has fallen in a little. On tho whole, it is in oxcollent repair, having, of course beon mended and robullt many times. Every half-mile or so is a llttlo square tower of two stories. Tho wall Itself varies a good deal in height according to tho nature of tho ground, averaging probably about forty feet. On ono side Mon golia, as you seo it, is a vast, undu lating, brown plain; on tho othor sido China is a perfect sea of brown hills In all directions, and across thoso strotchos tho groat wall. On tho hill top, through tho valloys, up and down tho sides, it twists in an unbroken lino, exactly liko a huge earth-worm suddonly turnod to stono. For many miles it is visible in both dirootlons, nnd whon you enn no longer trnco ls entire length you can still discover It topping tho hills ono aftor another into the romote distance. And whon you rolloct that it Is built of bricks, in almost Inaccossiblo placos, through uninhabited countries, that each brick must hnvo boon tranported on a man's shouldors enormous dis tances, nnd that it extends for 2,000 milos, or one-twelfth of tho clrcumfor enco of the globe, you bogin to ronllzo that you aro looking upon tho most colossal achievement of human hands. Tho bricks aro so big and heavy that that I had to hlro a llttlo donkey to carry off two of them. This is tho only pleeo of vandalism to which I plead guilty on this trip, but tho temp tation was irrosistiblo, and "thoy will novor bo missed." Nowadays, of courso, tho wall sorvos no defensive purpose whatever and Is not guarded in any way. Not a soul llvos within miles of it at most points, and it is hut a land-mark for tho Mongols' cnmol trains, a stupendous monument to tho groat past of China, and nn ovidenco of colestlal greatness nnd onterprlso gone never to roturu. Pittsburgh Dis patch. MAKING A LIGHT. From the Time When Flint mill Steel Were UhciI Down to tho Safety Match. The following facts about tho differ ent modes of gottlng a light may bo interesting. Until this century was moro than a quarter spent no hotter mothod of obtaining fire existed than tho now obsoleto plan of striking sparks from Hint by means of a plcco of steol, but in 1827 chemistry began to show other and moro ready means to accomplish this end. Tho first chemical substitute for tho Hint and steol wns a composition of chlorate of potash and sugar, which, on a drop of oil of vitriol bolng applied to it, caught firo. Tho first luclfcr match mado was with this mixture, but it was necessary to havo a bottle of vitriol into which to dip tho matches in order to sot them alight. As thoso matchos cost about twonty-flvo cents for fifty thoy wero boyond tho renoh of nil but tho woll-to-do, and did not, thorofore, como Into gonoral use. Then followed tho frlctic match mado with chlorate of potash and antimony, which had to bo drawn through sand paper to cause ignition. Boyle's dis covery of tho mothod of making phos phorus led to matches being mado of this material in 1833. Tho original plan was to preparo a mixture of phosphorus and gum, which was placed on tho ond of match wood tipped with sulphur, but parafllno wax has now all hut universally dis placed sulphur, owing to tho objoc tlonablo smell of tho lattor. In 1840 a preparation known ns red phosphor us was introduced, and this hud by dogrees como to bo very lnrgoly em ployed in tho production of what aro known as safety matches. Tho reason why safoty matches do not ignite oxcopt on their box is be cause tho bends of such matches con tain nn phosphorus, but a substanco like chlorate of potash, while red phoHphoruH Is pasted on paper outside of tho box. On striking tho match tho chlorate of potiiHh comes In con tact with tho rod phosphorus, and a light is thus produced. Donvttr Republican THE CHINE3E WALU THE TYPEWRITER" GTRti 'fhongh She .May Cliew Gum.. Mb- fir Voi-j Valuable Member of jochMy. It Is doubtful if thcro exists- in tha land to-day a paragrapher, or any other specios of alloged humor&t, but who has not something to. say about tho typewriter girl. Sho has been ridiculed, and even maligned. Col umns of presumable wit have mado tho compositor happy at her oapense. She is ono of the principals of the paragraphor's stock in trade, and stands in tho pigeon-hole beside the mother-in-law, spring bonnet and home-from-the-lodgo jokes. Sho has beon terribly abused, but with Spar tan courage pounds tho keys and novor utters a word of eomplalnt. It is not unnntural, however, that so charming a subject should rccoivo tha attention of tho fostlvo paragrapher, but it is sotnowhat strange that tha serious sido of tho quostlon has novor beon eonsldorod. Tho typewriter girl does not thump tho nlphabot just for her health. She learned how to manipulate tho key-board through necessity. It was a condition and not a theory that confronted hor. Sho saw n territory of action beforo hor and rushed forward and planted her claim. She Is there to stay. She- Is rogular in, her habits. Sho may chow gum. but sho never dallies with tobacco, nor toys with tho serpent lurking in tho wine-glass. In thoso respocts her superiority over her malo competitor Is palpably ovtdont. Her living ex penses aro confined to food, tolu and dress. Sho never Indnlgos In draw poker, nor high-low-jack, therefore sho can work for a smaller salary than a male, and save more.too. Sho Is an angel ot loveliness about tho ofllco. The proprietor swears loss, and tha olllco boy doesn't whistle as much as hoforo the advent of tho typewriter girl. Hut towering abovo all thoso de lightful considerations is hor business usefulness. Tho typewriter girl has discovered what naturo know long j ago. namoly. that sho is capablo of doing tho real buslnoss of tho world. Sho lias tho capability, and Is fast ac ' quiring tho adaptability. Man has J slowly become a monopolist, and adds to Ills monopoly ot vlco a monopoly of the buslnoss world. Tho protty typowrltor girl, perhaps unconscious ly. Is suroly breaking down this un worthy trust. Tho typowrltor girl Is rather lowly in station now, but if sho will glanco into the horoscopo of tha future sho will seo looming up bofora her. in all tho gorgeous colors of tho solar spectrum, supremacy, or at loast equality, in flio buslnoss realm. From a mero automaton, whoso duty It is to hold close communion with tho En glish alphabet, sho will advance in timo to business management and, oven to proprietary interest. Her fooling of dependence will disappear like dow beforo tho morning aim. Sho will amass enough woalth to romaln singlo until matrimonial stock has roachod far in tho market of her heart. Thon sho can sottlo down to domostio bliss, if desirable, and then arrogance and assumed superiority of the husband will bo missing, be causo sho will know hor buslnoss and ho will bo thoroughly cognizant of ta fact. Minneapolis Tribune. How to Tame a Bird. If anybody knows how to tamo birds, it ought to bo Mrs.01ivoThornoMillor; and thoso aro hor rulos, which aro slmplo onough for any ono to under stand and practlco: No creaturo ia moro jealous or sensitive than a bird. It is easy, however, to win tho heart of. almost any bird, and without starving1 him or making him think ho has mas tered you. Simply talk to him a good, deal. Place his cago near you on your dosk or work-tablo, and rotain his choicest dainty to glvo to him with, your own fingers. Lot him know that he can novor havo that particular thing unless ho takes It from you, and. ho will soon loarn, If you aro patlont; and do not disconcert him by fix ing your eyes upon him. Aftor this ho will moro readily tako it from your lips; and thon whon you lot him out of his cngo, after tho first oxcitomont Is ovor, ho will como to you, ospoclal ly if you havo a call you havo accus tomed him to, and accopt tho dainty from you whilo freo. As soon us ho becomes roally convlncod that you wllL not hurt him, or try to catch him, or Interfere in uny way with his llborty, ho will glvo way to his boundless curi osity about you; he will pull your hair, pick at your oyos, and glvo you as much of his company as you desire. Touth's Companion. It Puzzled the Dentist "It's a mystery to mo," said a den tist of largo practlco recently, "that a woman will mako up hor faco to coma to a dontlst's chair. Yet many of them do. Hardly a day passes that L don't have somo womon inhoro rouged, powdered and poncllod to tho last de gree. You would think thoy would, hardly euro to faco tho strong, cruel light which I employ in my work, or my own close, if involuntary, scrutiny, but thoy don't seem to mind either. Only yesterday I worked for threo hours ovor a woman whoso lips wera so bosmudged with somo vormillloa paste thut it camo off generously with every uso of tho syrlngo to wash out hor mouth. Tho powdor on hor face dusted my coat sloovo with ovory mo tion, almost, and I discovered, bofora I was through with hor, thatovon tha veins on her temples owod tholr del icate hluo look to somo outsldo influ ence." N. Y. Sim. Princeton College has initiated a now course on electrical aatrlneerlBS.