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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 21, 1887)
OREGON SCOUT. JONES & CHANUEY, PiiblLhra. VXIOK. OKJBUOX. " MISCELLANEOUS. Imagination becomes a snaro when allowed to run riot. An English sparrow has gono to housekeeping boside the window of an Auburn, lie., lady, who sits and looks into the nest while she sows. The ncBt is sot solidly against the glass. Fifteen ostriches havo just been hatched from a nest of seventeen fertilo ggs at Mount Fairviow ostricli farm near San Diego, Cal. "Tins is the best record over made in America." William McDaniol, who died a few days ago at Los Angeles. Cal., was a miser. In t tic banks lie had 2,800, and nearly $500 was found secreted in tli cracks of the houso in which ho died His death was caused by the lack of proper food "1'apn, I wisli you would buy mo a foot pad," said a littlo girl to her father as he was about to go down town. "You mean a liver pad," replied the old gentleman. "No. I mean a foot pad, as I have an awful pain in the crown of my foot." Chicuyo National Democrat, My mother writes mo that sho has a chicken hatched with four legs and almoot two heads. Tho chicken when p tar ting to run folds tho two hind legs wlim tired ho will fix them so as to form a seat to sit on. Pitts field (Me.) Advertiser. A Georgia negro and a mulo got at it the other day to seo who or which was the best man. Tho mule used his heels and the negro a club, and after Boveral knock'downs tho mule gavo in and agreed to behave himself in tho future. Detroit Free Press, Several weeks ago Miss EmmaMor nam, of Bristol, Conn., had her scan torn oil' by her hair catching in tiio machinery in a mill. Now sho is having a now onu made by tho grafting process Several friends camo forward and con tributcd bits of skin . Ono of tho crack shots of Louisiana recently said tiiat ho had engaged in his hut live pigoon shooting match. Ho pronounced it cruel in tho extreme, and nald thatolhors who ongaged in tho lost match hold tho same opinion, since, "with but ono or two exceptions, tlioy ehoot under an assumed name. Omahaman (in amazement) "Ton dollars a yard for bucIi stuff as that?1 wife (ycry naturally mistaking tho cause of his surpriso "That's all; isn't it a bargainP Only ton dollars, just think of it" "Why, it's scarcely half -width." "O, don't worry about that, dear. I was careful to make allowance ior that and got twice as many yards as usual." Omaha world. Thero is a Miss Alii living in Ap pling County, about ton milos from Uaxley, Ga., who is ton years and two months old and weighs 180 pounds. ono woigneii at tiio ago ol seven years 140 pounds. She is no higher than chil dren usually nro at borage, so you may judge sho is a sight. Persons who havo Been her say she is as broad as sho is Jong. Tho Western ronitcntiary of Ponn eyivama can innk'o cocoa maus so cheaply, as a specialty, that outaldo manufacturers havo about abandoned tho market. Now, howovor, by the Now Xork law just passod, substantial pro tection is given tho trade by tho form idable tag which tho goods must wear in that State: "Convict Mado, 1887. "Western Penitentiary of Pennsylvania." Way back man "No use talking. Thirteen is an unlucky number." Omaha man- "1 don't believe any such superstition." "If you'd lost a brother 'tho way I did you'd believe it." "What happened to himP" "Ho didn't believe airy of thoce old superstitious, either, and ono day he took thirteen big drinks of whisky, hand riinnin', on a wnger, and tho thirteenth dose killed him duader'n a mackerel." Omaha World. The development of coal and natural ga in far-off localities is giv ing an impulse to numberless littlo in dustries hitherto dependent on distant fuel. Natural gas is found in Dakota and Texas, and they arc after it in Colorado. Natural gas is plenty in Utah, and much money is being di verted to its utilization. A sixty-inilo pipe-lino is to bo laid from the Indiana Hold to Chicago, and this enterprise has stimulated manufacturers of arti ficial fuel to furnish fuel gas as cheap as natural gas for manufacturing pur poses. IUiblio Opinion. Tho llftoen groat American inven tions of world-wide adoption are: 1, tho cotton-gin; 2, tho planing-maehlne; 3, tho grass mower ami reaper; 1, tho rotary printing press; 6, navigation by steam; 6, tho hot-air engine; 7, tho sew ing machino; 8, tho India rubber In dustry; !), tho mauhluo manufacture of liorschocs; 10, tho sand-blast for carv iug; 11, tho gauge lathe; 12, the grain clov&tor; lit, artillclal ice making on a large scale; 14, tho electric magnet and its practical application; 15, tho tele ylionvi. Boston Budqet. A sixteon-year-old boy at Green wood, Ark., bocamo enraged with his Mother, went at sunset to a grovo near by, climbed a tree, and doclared ho would roost thoro ail night. His mother tried in vain for au hour to persuade the kid to ooiuo down. Then sho threat ened to cut tho tree down, and finally sent for the town marshal, who climbed the tree, placed a ropo about tho young ster's body, and loworod him to tho ground. So groat was ids yearning to play raccoon and sleep In tho tree-top that he had to bn kept securely fastened in the house all night. MUSIC HATH CHARMS. Dow Jccr Vliet Captivated Hand of Savncra with III Sonus. When Jcspbr Vllet, whoso fathor was ono of Milwaukee's pioneers, was a boy of fourtcon, lie shot a wolf under rather thrilling circumstances. Somo time after his adventure with tho wolf he participated in another with tho In dians. While leaning upon the fence about his father's house ono evening a savage came up tho road and addressed him in broken English, liis appear auco denoted long travel, and when h said that lie came all the way from Canada the boy did not doubt it. His moccasins were torn so that tho toes protruded, his letrgins were torn and encrusted with mud. Thero was that however, in his mien that betrayed the chief. Thoro was an encampment ol Indians sonic live miles to tho north west, and this ho was in search of. Young Vliet offered to guide him to th lodges, and tho two 6ot out together, but not until tho boy had brought tin: wanderer a cup of fresh milk and a slice of iohnnv-cako from tho house. In tho route they passed tho swail where Vliet had shot tho wolf, and tho boy related the adventure to his companion. On arriving at tho encampment or "planting ground," the boy saw at once that tho stranger was a chief of great renown and that unusual ceremonies were about to bo performed in hi honor. Young Vliet was anxious to trot awav. but tho Indians would not permit it. Thcv passed him the "kin ne-kin-nick" to smoke. Tho squnw oifered him venison, and taking hi seat outside tho cire'e of warriors, li became a silent spectator of tho pro ceedings. They smoked in silence, not simulta neously, but consecutively, tho pipe be nig passed from mouth to mouth order of tank, tho distinguished guest being allowed to iuhalo tho precioii weed first.. At length the chief rose and with him tho assembly, and then commenced a wild scone of rejoicing, Eacli of the men, seizing a brand from tho lire, nourished it over ins head joining in a wild dance, shouting in a terrihu manner. Howover exciting this display, it soon bocamo wearisome to Vliet, and ho mado another attempt to leavo the camp. ino Indians omioavorcu, in their limited English, to persuade him to stay. One savage said: "Makeo tay with warrior and shoot wolf." But tho boy preferred to shoot wolves about tho settlement, and replied that ho would not go with them. "Makeo go!" said tho Indian, with much nicaning. at which young Vliet laughed in au incredulous maimer. "Not want shoot wolf?" "Yes. but my fathor wants mo homo again." It was evtdont from this that the stranger had told them of his prowess with tho gray wolf, and also that it was their intention to retain him in their band if possible. Another savage tempted him by a description of tin Butto lies Moris Lake, where they in tended to remove their encampment. But their persuasions wore of no effect. s a last inducenientono of tho squaws Minir him a song m no siren voice, no compaiiving herself on a gourd, ihis touched Vliet s pride, and, having a line voice. lie proposed to sing himself, if only to show thoin that they knew nothing about tho art. The rude beings gathered around, and tho boy, placed on a log, with the glare of their lires lighting up his form and features, pro ceeded to sing for them in a clear, musical voice tho time-honored strains of "Auhl Lang Syne." Ho saw that thoy wero pleased, and, chough no applause followed except tho characteristic 'ough" and tho senten tious "rood" bv tho chief, he felt en couraged to mako another exhibition of lis vocal powers. Uo then sang "Iho Harp thatOneo Through Tara's Halls.' Tho savages listened as tlvough spell bound. Whoa ho had concluded the men took up tlioir torches, and ono of them signified that ho might go now, and they would accompany him. This thoy did, escorting him to his father's gate with torches, making the first torchlight procession that had probably over passed over tho soil in honor of a white being. Milwaukee Sentinel. COMPLICATED CASE. WUf a Dukotu. Ijvjr Kill I nil In Milking n I'lnlmilt Collection. A Dakota attornoy who iwlvertlsos to maku ditllcult collections, while re entry in tho East, was speaking with a man for whom ho had tried to make a collection and failed. "You ndvortiso that you mako difll- cult collections a specialty, don't you?" asked the Eastern man. "Yes, sir," replied tho Dakota attor noy. "Well, why didn't vou get that Uiloy matter settled up that wo sent you?" "I hat was a peculiar case. 1 don t now whether 1 can got that money or not, ion seo 1 took my shotgun tho ustrumont I use In making collections and drove out to sou Hiloy. I tied my horse and was walking towards tho houso with both hammers of tho gun up and my lingers on the triggers, in tending to make the collection as soon as I saw him, when suddenly, without any warning whatever, ho opened lire on me from a knot-hole in the side of the house. 1 returned tho shots and lulil my own for awhile, but as ho was concealed and I stood out in plain sight the consequence was that 1 finally went own tho road with my legs full of shot and lllley's bull-dog hanging onto my coat-tail. He kept my horse and buggy and I haven't seen them sluco. It is tho first timo my shot-gun has failed in making a ditllcult collec tion. It Is a very peculiar caso ami I hardly know how to proceed. I intend to ask the judge of our district whou I ot back and seo what ho thinks about t. Ho is an old resident of tho Terri tory and may bo able to glvo mo a lointer or lend mo somo improved weapon," Dakota Dell. BEFORE THE CAMERA. How I'ainotM I'nlltlclnn Itclinve In the I'liotocrnpli Gnlter-r. A noted photographer in Washington tolls somo interesting stories about tho bearing of our leading statesmen before tho camera: "I have posed all tho members of the Cabinet and most of tho Senators 'and Congressmen," said he. "Somo of them fall into position with all the grace of professional actor?, but the majority give mo a great deal of trouble. Sena tor Edmunds is ono of the worst sub jects I have ever had. on account of tho expression he invariably assumes at the critical moment. He will look pleasant whilo being posed, smile when told ho is all right and beam on the black cloth while the artist is making his prepara tions, out the moment tho cloth is re moved a fierce look comes into his eyes, his muscles grow rigid and his whole appearance is that of a Sepoy about to bo lired from a cannon. When requested to take on a more pleasant expression ho complies with a smile, which lasts till the camera is again uncovered. Then again comes that fierce "I'll-die Ji-l-must" expression. 1 could never catch a pleasant look on his face. "Mr. Blaine is a model sitter. He falls into position gracefully and needs little aid from tho poser. lie is not easily pleased, howover. Ho is a pho tographic critic of the keenest kind and can detect the slightest faults injjtho proofs. Sometimes it has taken a half dozen sittings to satisfy him. "Senator Evarts does not look well in his photographs, because ho insists on posing himself. Ho has a large nose, you know, and his chief anxiety is to conceal it as much .-is possible. Since a generous lofty nose can not, by any effort of art, be transformed into a delicate Grecian feature, tho Senator is never satisfied with his photographs. "Senator Sherman takes a poor picture, because ho assumes a smile. which is foreign to ids features. If he would only look grim and stern, as he docs outside tho photograph gallery, his faco would ho impressive on paste board, even if it could not bo called beautiful. But tho Senator tries to look sweetly benignant, and tho result is an expreasiou bordering on the funny. This is invariably tho case witli stern men who try to smilo before tho camera. "Secretary Whitney has had but one set of photographs taken since he has boon at the head of tho Navy Depart ment, and those woro for private dis tribution. Unlike most prominent men at tho Capital, ho does not caro to see his faco in store windows. Curiously enough, too, his pictures aro the hand somest wo havo taken of Government officials. Ho is tho only instance 1 know of in Washington public life of good looks and modesty going hand in hand. "Secretary Lamar is fond of assnm Ing a poetic, ethereal expression, which conies near to utter blankness. To add to the impression that he is a pot! far above thoughts of earth, lie rum pies his hair and lets it fall so as to almost cover his cars. He is fond of seeing Ids faco on pasteboard and dis tributes Ids pictures liberally. "Senator Hoar takes well. Ho sit down, clasps his chubby hands, and lets his face resolve itself into sun beams. Ho has tho sweetest smile 1 havo ovor seen on tho faco of a public man. lie never asks for proofs, being satisfied from experience that the cam era docs him justice because ho dues justieo to tho camera. 'Senator Sewoll is rather trouble some, lie always wants tho position ist to pose him in such a way that the littlo bald spot on his head can be con cealed. I havo tried it, and in vain Tho only way it could bo accomplished would be for tho Senator to place his facn horizontally to tho ceiling, but when I told him this ho got angry. Senator rrv looks in his picture quite tho heavy villain. Ho seems downright blond-thirsty when ho faces tho camera, and no amount of pcrsua ion can solten his features. 1 have tried funny stories, humorous sugges tions and little practical jokes: but to no purpose. Ho still looked as if il was his dearest wish to bo let loose among his leiiow-citizoiis with a der ringer. fcionator Wado Hampton is particu lar as to ono point only his handsome liundreanes.' wiion wo show nun a proof, ho glances at once at his side' faco adornments, scorns to count all tho hairs, and if he finds one missing ho has uo criticism to offer. He passes many minutes fondly arranging his whiskers before taking the chair. "Senator Beck takes, perhaps, tho best picture in tho Senate. His faco is strong and handsome, his bearing manly ami graceful, and his Iron-gray ty'ks aro things of beauty. And isn't in proud of them, anil dosou't he handle them tenderly? Ho knows that his photograph is something to bo ad mired, so ho does not by any means object to having It in tho windows for sale. He gives us a call regularly ovcr.v three months. "It is a pleasure to pose Mr. Randall. Ho has natural grace, ami perfect com mand of his features. He can assume any expression, unterrllled by the in strument before him. Like Senator Hoar, he never has to eomo back for a second sitting. "Mr. Morrison Is quite tho opposite. His expression when in tho chair would excite tho laughter of any lookor-on except a 'poslthmlst,' If the expression wore translated into words it would road something liko this: 'l'vo got my eyo on you, my man, and, if you make a movement, I will send a bullet through your heart.' "Speaker CarlUlo is a good subject. Ho looks serious and natural, just as ho docs at his desk in tho House of Repre sentatives." .Y. J'. Commercial Advir tiscr, i BOLD INDIAN RIDERS. Great Font of llnrsetnnn-ililp Vtltneed In Chief Frldrijr'a Cnmp, In a letter from Chief Friday's camp General Brisbane writes: "Here wo saw many curious scones and learned much of Indian life. One day Friday said to me he would liko to show off his young men and let me see how well they could ride. At first I expected somo treachery, as the whole herd of ponies was still in tho hands of the troops. The old chief,. however., was so earnest and apparently honest about it I told the Captain who had the herd in charge, he might lot Friday have fifty ponies for his young men. In about an hour they drew up before the tents in war paint and feathers, and were as fine a set of young fellows as I had ever seen. Hardly one was but six feet in height and beautifully proportioned. They sat their horses like centaurs and wero caso and giyico itself in tho saddle. At a signal from tho chief they began their movements with a yell that sent the blood curdling to the heart and was .enough, if heard unawares or in tho night time, to make one's hair stand on end. In a moment they had disap peared over a neighboring hill to tho right,, and I thought they had gone, but, hearing a mighty trampling of horses, 1 looked to the left and there they came. I can compare it to nothing but tho wind, and they swept by so swift and compact that they looked like a ball of horses and men. Splitting in two, one body swept to the right and another to the left and again disap peared. In about two minutes the two bodies charged each other in solid lines, and I waited almost breathlessly for the shock, but as tho horses' heads almost touched each other the files skillfully opened to the right and left and the lines passed through the intervals with out touching;. Wheeling to the right about thoy passed back in an instant and again disappeared over the hills. Itwas about fifteen minutes before they came in sight, and Friday informed mo they were blowing their horses. Pres ently on they came and wheeled by fours, formed columns, broke by fours and finally deployed as skirmishers. It was now wo saw tho finest individual horsemanship. Some would npproach lying so close to the pony's back noth ing but the horse could be seen. Others stood up and rodo as circus men do. Somo would hang with one foot and one hand on the horses and sweep by, their bodies completely protected by tho bodies of the animals. Some leaped upon the ground holding to tho manes of tho horse, and after running a step or two would swing themselves up on tho backs of the horsos again as easily as any circusman could do it. The positions thoy assumed and tho feats of horsemanship which they performed wero incredible, and I doubt if any thing outside of a circus ring ever equaled it. They would throw objects on the ground and pioic them up again whilo passing at full speed, tho war riors hanging to the sides of the horse? with ono foot and ono hand. They drew bows and shot arrows from underneath tho necks and even hollies of the horses whilo riding at a fast gallop. Our cav alry could not learn to ride as well as these Indians did if each man was trained for twenty years. They ex changed horses while riding, and got behind each other. One man would fall off his horse as if wounded, and two others would ride up besiuo him,' and, taking him by an arm and leg, swing him between their horses and carry him off. Tho exhibition, or drill, as Friday called it, lasted nearly two hours, and tho men and horses wero completely exhausted. I had never seen such mag nificent featsof horsemanship in my life, and I freely said so. At this Friday was much pleased, and calling up tho young men repeated to thorn in a loud voice what I had said and added a few words of his own complimenting Lhein. The young men wero very proud of tho man ner in which they had acquitted them selves, and I could imagine tho feelings of their parents and sweethearts. Tho performers wero much worn out, somo of them being hardly able to stand after their violent exercise, and all evening I saw them laying in tho lodges, where tho Indian women brought thoin food and water, bathed their hands, anna and limbs, and combed their hair. Chicago Times. George Sampson was firmly re solved to know his fate that very night "Miss Clara," ho began tenderly, "you are not quite your usual self this even ing." "No, Mr. Sampson," tho girl re plied, "1 am suffering from acute indi gestion." So ho postponed knowing hisfatu until a moro favorable opportu nity. AT. Y. Sun. Miller's Sou (just returned from college) "Father, do you believe tho center of that shaft is turning?" (point ing to a revolving shaft.) Millor "No, I know it isn't." Son (somewhat dis concerted) "Er but can 3011 explain why it doesn't?" Millor "Certainly; it is hollow." Detroit Free Press. "Johnny," says a fond mother to her boy," which would you rather do, spcakFroneh or Spanish?" "I would rather," said Johnny, rubbing his waist band and looking expressively at the tablo, "I would rather talk turkoy." Rlnckhorry Pudding : A pint of flour, a pint of warm water, a pinch of salt and a quart of blackberries; Hour your pudding well and boil for ono hour. The Farmer and Manufacturer. Yellow fever and cholera wero never known to oxlst in tho northern districts of Ixiwor California, says the Governor of that territory. Tho man who knows exactly what hie neighbor should do in hot weather is unusually numerous this summer. Albany Argus. AMATEUR FARMING. n Itcnevolent Gentleman Tries In Vain to Tench n Cult How to Drink. Onco upon a time there was a certain man who had lived on a farm in an amateurish way for about three months and on a beautiful summer day ho girded up hi- loins and went forth, with all the strength of his manhood and pail of fresh milk, to teach a little red calf, with soft brown eyes, to obtain tho lacteal nourishment in other than the wav preset ! b"il by nature. The little creature was waiting, all alone, in one corner of a shed, each leg braced in a different direction, and with a wondering expression on its flat little cardinal-colored face. . Subsequently tiio following littlo monologue migii have been heard by a listener in Ihe ad joining shed: "So-o, Boss, so-o so-o so-o-o. "Nice Bossy, Bossv, Bossy. Here's somo nice milk fot him to drink." "Put his nose right down in the pail good boss. Ha-a-r! Where you going? Come back bore! Now get into that corner and drink your milk, you ornery brute!" "Nits! milk good for calfy drink like a good bossy." "You won't, efi? Get your foot out of that pail, you gal-whanged, inooley headed, little fool!" "There, there. So-o-o, poor calfy. calfy, calfy; drink his milk to mako him grow like a Get off 1113' foot, you dod-gasted, clumsy, bull-headed luna tic!" "Come, now, I've fooled long enough! Stick your nose in that pail! Stick it in there, I say, or I'll O-o-o-h! Whn are 3011 buttin' mo in the stomach for? Get over there, now; s-0-0." "You can have just one more chance I'll just stick my fingers in bossy's mouth, and take his head between my legs, and then the little follow can eo how Hold on thero wficroyou going? Let me off you 11 tip over the nnlk- pail whoop 1 Thoro she goes Tako that, and that, and that, and starve to death if 3011 want to, 3011 addle-pated, low-lived little runt of a Durham Oh, don'tstareat me in that way, 3011 blank, blanked four-footed lunatic!" "U, vou nccdn t olat at me you want vour milk bad enough now there it is; six quart?, at three cents a quart, gone to wasto! You can stand in thoro and blat and starve 'till wheat is two dollars a bushel, before I'd lift a finger to feed such a measlv, knoek-kneed, big- cared, slab-sided imp of Satan as 3011 are! I d as lief plow six acres in a day! And he went back to the house, and held his peace; and when the hired man camo in he remarked, as though the thought had just occurred to him, that when tho hired man got a little time he had better teach that red calf in the sheep-shed to drink; and tho hired man went out straightway and taught him. in just six minutes Uy tho nickel-plated wateh which lie traded the shot-gun for. C. A'. Hood, in Pur.h. UMBRELLA HISTORY. The First sllsli 111:1 (t Who Curried Ono of Tln-M Uhi'ftil Protectors. In Queen Anne's time it is mentioned both b Swift and Ga3 as emphwed by women, but up to tho middle of tho eighteenth centuiy it appears never to havo been used in England by men, though Wolfe, the future conqueror of Quebec, wrote from Pans in 1752, de scribing it as in general use in that eity, and wondering tiiat so convenient a practice had not et penetrated to England. Haiiway, the famous trav eler and philanthropist, who returned to England in 1750, is said to have been the first Englishman who carried an umbrella; and a Scotch footman named John MaeDonald, who had traveled with his master in France and Spain, mentions in his curious nutobi- ograph that he brought one to London in 17a and persisted in carrying it in wet weather, though a jeering crowd followed him, crying: "French man, win uon t you get a coach?" In about threo months lie says, tho annoyance almost ceased, and grail ualh a few foreigners and then some Englishmen followed his ex ample. Defoe had described an urn brella as ono of tho contrivances of Robinson Crusoe, and umbrellas wero in consequence at ono timo called "Robinsons." Tiny were long looked on as a sign of exttenio effeminacy, and thev multiplied very slowl. Dr. Jainioon, in 1782, is said to have been the first person who used ono a Glas gow, and Southey's mother, who was born in 1752, was accustomed to s.13 that she remembered tho timo when 11113 ono would havo been hooted who carried ono in tlo streets of Bristol. A. single coarse cotton ono was often kept in a eoll'oo-houso to bo lent out to customers, or in a privato houso to be taken out with tho carriage and held over tho heads of ladies as U103 got in or out; but for maty years those who used umbrellas in tho streets wero ex posed to the insults of tho mob, and to tho persistent and very natural animosity of tho hacknoy-coachnien.who bespattered them with mud and lashed them fu riously with their whips. But tho man ifest convenience of tho new fashion secured its ultimate triumph, and boforo tho close of the century umbrellas had pa3sed into general uso. Lccky's History of England. A romarkablo canary of tho tune bird species died ono day last wook In Now York City. It sang "Lifo Lot Us Cherish," ono of Mozart's famous com positions, so well that It was a great treat to hear It. Mr. Hoff, tho owner, was offered $500 not long ago by a Spaniard who wished to present it to the Queen regent of Spain, but ho re fused to sell iL Thoro are two tuno birds only in New York now. but neither one can slug as well as the deceased songster. PERSONAL AND LITERARY. t Charles James Fox was in Parlia ment at nineteen. Lord Bacon graduated at Cam bridge when sixteen, and was called to tho bar at twenty-one. Landsecr, tho great animal painter, onco asked Sidney Smith to grant him a sitting, whereupon the clerical wit replied: "Is thy servant a dog that ho should do this thing?" Prince Bismnrck is the most deco rated man in Europe. Should he ever appear wearing the insignia of all tho orders conferred on him ho would rc scmblo an Oriental princo A new sixpcnn3 illustrated maga zine is to be publised in England under tho namo of Atalanta. Mr. Buskin will write tho preface, and Andrew Lang and Rider Haggard will con tribute to tho first number. Boston Transcript. Queen Victoria is going to insti tute an order of litcraiy merit, consist ing of twenty Knights, fifty Knights companions, and one hundred com panions. Her Majesty is now taking counsel with a number of the leading litcrar3 men of England. 1 Moro copies of Mrs. Dodge's "Stor3 of Hans Brinker" have been sold than any book for children from the pen of an American nutlior, yet the author had tho most extreme dif fieulty in finding a publisher for it when it was completed in manuscript. Tho Scribncrs finally accepted the book after it had been declined by several houses. "1 can hardly tell," says Mr. Hubert IIowo Bancroft, "how 1 enmo to devote 1113 life to history rather than 11113 thing else. Looking back, it seems to have been accidental. Tho niotivo was neither a longing for wealth nor a thirst after fame, while the develop ment w:s eas3, gradual and natural. My history is nearly finished now, and about half of tho force which has been continuous employed at 1113 library for twenty-five years has been retired, yet t hero's before mo several years of historical labor." The "Fox Hunt" figure is the latest for seaside genitalis. A lad3 and gen tleman are selected as foxes. The gentleman receives a fox's tail and tho lady a red ribbon to be pinned to her left shoulder. Three additional couples receive different ribbons and represent I lie hunters. A waltz is then played. The couple representing the foxes is allowed a start and the hunters, follow, endeavoring to capture them. If they succeed tho foxes retire and tho successful couple finish the dance with their troply. HUMOROUS. A Ridge street man has told so mniry lies in li is life that his wife has to sand-paper his tongue three times a. day before eating. Gorham Mount aineer. What beats us is to know how it was possible to stretch the skin so tiglith over a shad, and 3et not havo tho bones punch through. Dansville Breeze. When your family plysician gets sick, it is not good form to call and gaze at him eveiy few dtys. It shows a mean, revengeful spirit. Mereliant Traveler. A man in the park reading a sign. "Keep Oil' the Grass," asked a police man fncctiousry what he could keep it off with. "With vour feet." was tho brief reph. Texas Sitings. A rural correspondent asks: "How can I remove vermin from 1113 liens?" Make them uso their combs. Your liens don't seem to have been brought up right. BinghamUm Bcpublican. An advertisement reads: "Wanted A young man to be parth out of doors and partl3 behind tho counter," mid the Cleveland Leader asks: "What will 1)0 the result when tho door slams?" An English paper tells a wild talo- about an old German who has invented a safe that on its lock being tampered with throws open its doors, seizes and drags and locks in tho burglar, and handcuffs and holds him in readiness to bo conducted to tho police court in tho morning. Philadelvhia Press. s Your Liver ? Ib tho Oriental salutation, knowing that good health cannot exist without a healthy Liver. When the Liver is torpid tho Bow els are sluggish and con stipated, tho food lies in tho stomach undi gested, poisoning tho blood; frequent headache ensues; a feeling of lassi tude, despondency and nervousness indicate how tho whole system is de ranged. Simmons Liver Regulator has beoa tho means of restoring moro peoplo to health and happiness by giving them a healthy Liver thin any agency known on earth. It acta with extraor dinary power and efficacy. NEVER BEEN DISAPPOINTED. As n general finally remedy for DyBjxps'a. TornlU Uvcr, Conhtlimtlon, otc, I hardly over uso unj Uilnp else, an 1 tuvve never boon disappointed Intlioe oct produced : it eooins to Ik) utmost u perl ct euro for nil dluouMM of ttie Stomach on Dowels. W. J. McKlu v, Macon, On