The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918, July 02, 1887, Image 6

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The Oregon scout., July 02, 1887, Image 6

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Newspaper Page TextOREGON SCOUT J0NX3 & CHANGTY, Fabliahers. UNION. OKR4JBN. A FAIR START. yin. Calllioard, Jr., Forestall Any Allu sions to Mrs. Cnllhoartl, Sr.'s, Cooking. "When Mr. find Mrs. Callboanl returned from their wedding journey tliey settled right down to housekeeping. Happier doves never nestled in a flat, ond Mrs. Callboard determined to mako n liomo for Charley from the start. No foolish misunderstandings should arise in their domestic arrangements, ir her wisdom and tact could prevent. When they nut down to their first meal Nclllo Jielpod him to an opaquo slab of something nbout an inch thick, that fell on the table -with a dull, gickening.tluuL- "There is some borne mado bread liko your mother used to make, Charley, dear," sho said sweetly. "I learmxl how to make that solid clrclo of roller composition around the middle of tho loaf when wo were stopping at her house last -week; If you should ever want a chango I can mako brea'd .whiter than snow and lighter than sea foam, but this is the kind your mother makes, mid 1 thought you might liko it tho Ilrst day to keep you from getting homesick. That nlco cako," sho added, seeing him thoughtfully endeavoring to indent with his fork a dark brown pyramid of elastic con crete, "is a cako such as your aunt Ellen used to maka I got the prescription from her. I don't cat it myself, but it is said to bo harm lea If not taken to excess. Theso Irregular fragments of leather bolting oro doughnuts, liko those your grandmother makes; sho taught mo how to mako them, and I had a kroner's permit to make these. Those ghastly remains on tho platter aro all that is left of tho holocaust that is a chicken roasted after tho favorite prescription of your sister Jane. And this, Charley dear," she continued, iouriiig out a coal black liquid, not qulto so thick as tho Missouri river, but far luoro odorous, "this is coffee liko yon used to get nt home. I mako nil theso things somewhat different for myself, and will use my own recipes, as a rule, after this, Jmt any time you want things as you used to Imvo them nt home, dear, I can fill overy prescription In tho phnrniueopain, and don't you forget it." And ho didn't. That was twenty-three years ago, and not ono of tho nix young Culllioards win remember over to have heard tholr futher so much as refer to tko doughnuts his grandmother used to mako when ho was a boy. Brooklyn Kaglc, IT DID HIM GOOD. "Medicine Administered to n Youngster by Ono Who Know How. Sido by side In tho waiting room of tlo Third street passengerstatlon yesterday snt n nervous llttlo woman and a tall, melancholy man. Tho woman had a boyubout7 years of ago who seemed to Iw posseted of an ovll spirit. Ho wouldn't sit nor stand still. Ho didn't want apples nor candy. Ho couldn't be coaxed nor bribed to Is'lmvo himself, and Ills kicking and whining seemed to wear tho llttlo woman out. Tho melancholy man stood it for a whllo, but finally felt called upon to jbsorvo: "Madam, I know what that child is aching for." "Yes, so do I," sho promptly answered, "but l'vo a kill on my right arm." "I'll tako tho job off your hands if you say fa It's Humthin' l'vo been in tho habit of doing almost overy day of my life, for l'vo bad threo wives anil thrco seta of children." Tho boy set up an oxtru howl and began kicking her shins just then, and shu looked around in n helpless way anil said: "Well, you may try. Not too vigorous, but just vigorous enough." Ho reached over and picked tho child up, laid him across his knee, and tho slinking machine started off nt about fort' involu tion a mhitito and worked to n charm. "There you sot therol" said tho old man as 'he straightened tho boy up and sat him down. -"That's better than nil tho candy and ien nuts in tho country, and you'll liehavo your self for tho next three, days." The boy blubbered softly and sat still, and when tho mother liowed her gratitude tho old man replied: "Oh, don't mention It. It's tho best medi cine in tho world. Besides, I was u bit lono tome to day, and it has Eort o' cheered mo up.'' Detroit Freo Press. llefiiHcil According to tho Illll. Sho was tho daughter of ono of tho con gressmen who had assisted in drafting tho interstate commerce bill, and having nindo n copy of it for him had become tolerably familiar with 1U provisions. 80 it was only natural icrhnig that when u notorious flirt proposed to her tho other ovenlng sho should utilize tho bill In refusing him. "No, Ueorge," sho remarked in decided tone when ho had risen from Ills knees, "it Mainover bo. 1 would not dam intrust my happiness to 11 miiu who would ho certain to indulge himself in many liko and contempo raneous attachments." George protested that If sho would consent to bo his ho would never look at any other girl again, But it wus 110 uso. "You cannot ulter my determination, George. Nothing would induouuo to plight toy' troth so long us 1 remained sceptical In regard to my lover's constancy to his promise to tako 1110 for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, for short lint j for long haul." George fumed, bit his ilp and vowed that tho was too cruel. "1 am not cruel, George. I am only frank. You rovoko just such scepticism and 1 11111 tf n peculiarly exacting disposition. I would demand of my husband it complete sunvuder of hU heart to 1110 and in time you would re lent t but demand as awarding 1110 undue and aureasomihlo pivfcrciico; you would upbraid mo for expecting you to oxoreiso unjust dis crimination against other and conipoting Indies of your acquaintance. So you see, Georgo" But Oeorgo had vanished into tho outer larVtioss. New York Tribune. Cotton liuitinir eru mut nr. "Vick bellovca thnt tho day of patent fruit jars are ended, since tho testimony Is so satis factory in favor of tying cotton batting ovur the mouth of the jnr containing the fruit, Tho fruit U cooked, and then ourcd hot into tho jars, which are at onco covered with white paper, and over that a layer of cotton Kitting, just as it coinvs off tho roll, and tied down fcecuroly wltli cotton twine. Tho philosophy of it is that tho cotton prevents tho entrance at bacteria, which are tho cause of all fer meat. Dutch Creum Toast Dutch cream toast U a most nppetiilngdlih fer breakfast or lunch, boido being con "wnleut for utilising the remnants qf a cold boiled ham. llemovtt all tho fat and dry the bain in tho oven till ft will grate like cheese. Make delicato, thin slice of toast, butter them and spread with grated ham. Make a muco with the yolks of two eggs, a gill and a balf of cream or milk with a bit of butter Added; heat and stir It; our boiling hot over Umi toast mid serve. "SUFFER NOT A MAN TO PASS." "And They Made 11 Decree: That No Man Should I'uss." Tho Interstate commerce bill having mado free passes n thing of the jmst, so to speak, on the trunk railway lines, a now modus vivcndl has been established Iwtweou the iiow.-pajwrg and the railwnys. Tho newspapers propose to cliargo for all free noticei of tho rnilwuys and their noblo managers, and tho editor will bo expected to pay for his ticket when ho rides.. The Chicago Nows announces tho fol lowing as Its new schedule for railway puf fery: 1. For the setting forth of the virtues (act ual or alleged) of presidents, general mana gers or directors, J ler lino for first insertion and 81 for each subsequent Insertion. 2. For puffs expressed in clioico English, with occasional French phrases or poetical extracts (tho whole with a palpablo motive' of honest enthusiasm), $2.50 per Hue; W P1""" cent, reduction on each subsequent insertion. it. General passenger ageuts-and division suj)erlntcndeiits will bo accorded half rates on tho terms offeied in rule No. 1. But in all cases where tho title of colonel is used regular 11 ret class rates will lio demanded. 4. Thousand milo tickets on tho basis of two cents per milo will lie received In cx-.-hango for advertising ilono at our card rates, but theso ticket must hold good on jiussenger as well us 011 freight trains. 5. No deviation from tho card rates can 1k mado In favor of parties handing us flvo cent cigars with the puffs they desire published. 0. For complimentary notices of tho wives and children of railroad officials wo demand S1..1U per lino. Wo have on hand, ready for immediate use, a splendid assortment of this literature. 7. I'oetry will be nindo to order nt 1 fer inch, ngnto measure. Wo nro prepared to supply 11 lino lino of heptnnietcr puffs, also a limited number of sonnets and triolets, in ox chnngo for 1,000 milo tickets. Epic poems, containing descriptions of scenery, dining cam, etc, will Iki published nt social rates. 8. Uenernl suKjrlntcndenlsM.'iiding requests for tho suppression of nows must accompany their requests with 810 bills not necessarily for publication, but .-.s a guarantee of good faith. CIiiiiiko Curs. Huwasa Baltlnn.io man on a Baltimore and Potomac train this morning, bound to .Muiilsiro', and t lie conductor told It tin he must change cars at Bowie. At the first sta tion this sido of Bowie, tho conductor discov ered him in tho smoking car. "Why," ho said, "I thought I told you if you wanted to go to Marlboro' you would have to change cars at Bowiol" "Well, I did.". "No, you didn't." "Yes, I did; I left tho other car and came Into this one." Tlio ninn wu3 in dead earnest, and tho con ductor was o astonished nt his innocent sim plicity that ho brought him on to Washington for nothing. Wir-hingtoii Critic. l.lho It'VluiH In" Slicriiiuii. If I find a man who vhas honest und ooji rlght I doan' go back on him iwcnuso ho eats tit 1 1 his knife. S01110 men vhill lay for you for it dozen years, und sometimes vlion you shtubyour too doy vhill sliuinp in und slmdgo your win Jo character by tier remarks indulged in at dot tlmo. It vhas pooty easy to wonder how ills man? or dot mans gets along so well and dond't work, but wo doan' stop a Icodlo to see if lie doan' wonder dor samo mit us. If an oltlt man comes to mo und asks if he should get married again I tell him it vhas all light. It vims one of der vhays he can make a fool of himself according to law. Carl Duuder in Detroit Freo l'ress. Western I.llifirullty. Irato Omaha Man Soo here, you sold mo n lot last week-. Heal Estate Agent Yes, sir, I remeinlicr 1111 unimproved lot in 0110 of our additions. "Well, It's improved now. There's a hen coop on It this morning." "Put It up yourself i" "No, tho blankety blank thing enmo down tho blankety blank Missouri river and landed there." "Well, wo won't charge you anything for that." Omaha World. A Hungry Machine. Ail old fellow stood in a butcher's shop watching with much interest tho work of a now sausage grinder. Uuablo to resist a closer inspection, ho touched tho machliio in a sensitive place and lost 0110 of his lingers. A look of astonishment crossed his face. "What's the inatterf" tho butcher asked. "Nothlu' much," he replied, looking at his bleeding "stub" and then at the grinder, "hut I wnz jest or thlukin' that this is tho liniiti griest machmo I over seed." Arkansaw Traveler. A Horrible SilKKCstlon. Omaha (llii No, I never visited in Chicago, although 1 have passisl through it, Chicago (llrl Oh! you cun't tell anything nlMHittlio city that way, you know. You should meet and know tho ioopli "They are very refitted, I suppose!" "Mercy! wo aro not cannibals." 'Cannibals!" "Wliy.no! Wo don't reilno people; wo re lino lurd."-Omalm World. Tho Hon, AVIuit a vain, foolish creature tho hen 1st Now tho lobster lays front 11,000 to 12,tHK) eggs it year, und never cackles once, (lo to, vain hen I yea, verily, go three, or four! Journal of Education. tin ill lllin Nuniher One. 1'ivtty School Teacher Thomas, state sonu of tho lK'uutlos of education. Thomas (oldest Isiy In the class) School uui'ums. Boston Record, Musical t'ulrlmU In Shoocitligo. Oh. where ulildes the fond kazoo, The luinvl organ fair, ' And where is heard ttu trit hidtHt Of llsh horns on the air! And where tuv found tho life and drum Discounted with goodliest rest J And where do fiddles liveliest liuniT The west the mighty west! Bonutns,.ruKUiti and all o' thnt Are rlshtly Judged effete, Whllo Inrgos written hi II tint Are dourly out of date; Homo liko the cold pliumy-forty, Hut whistling suits us best And tqvry, If It Isn't naughty, Will not catch 011 out west. From sklnnlhsr luigs or canning beef Or diving Into stocks, . CuuUI wo expect to find relief In I lay da or lu lkuiisl Ah, no; from iork nud hcut and lard Wo turn aside with xost To slug some opus of some bard WhottO homo U lu tho west. Bo gvt yo gouo, yo weakling crowj YourtutiesniMstalouudllat . And cannot hold a caudle to The words of Silas lratt! 11U opusc are lu doiuuud And inv the flail test By which all ether fall or staud lu this the mighty west ! -Chicago Newt. TUB OCEAFSTEAM'SiriP. HOW THE PASSENGERS ARE PRO VISIONED AND PROVIDED FOR. Tho Cooks Kept Itimy, "IJlow High, 1'lnw Ixw" Tlio Amount of frovU Jui. Groceries, IHc., lirotiRht 011 liourd Drinkables und Crockery. 1'assengers inhalo with tho sea air nn ex cess of enthusiasm, und nro" ready to become excited 011 tho smallest provocation. Is it n passing vessel. Or a spouting whale? Or n towering lcelcrgf It forms for tho nonco an all absorbing topic of interest and eager speculatl6n. But, even to those who cannot bo termed epicures, tho chief concern and uppermost thought of each day Is undoubt edly "What shall wo eat and what shall wo drink" Tho fresh breezes create hearty ap petites, and with numlcrs of jicoplo'tlio'tlmb is agreeably scnt in tho enjoyment of ono meal or in tho anticipation of tho next. No apology becomes necessary for introducing soma statistics relntivo to tho consumption of victualing and other stores, esjieclally to such readers ns havo crossed tho Atlantic, and to thoso whoconte'mpiat'o making tho trip. '1 ho chief steward is not only responslblo for tho good order of tho servants and the cleanliness of tho saloons, cabins, baths, etc., but for providing tho passengers with a good and liberal table. Tho greatest care is exer cised in tlio selection of tho'staff who havo to attend to tho passengers' wants, and that theso are many and constant tho ordinary rou til v) will jjjiow. TlIK COOKS KKIT BL'BV. The bakers turn out nt 4 a. 111. ; this is not n cosoof "weather crmltting," for "blow high, blow low," out they coir.e, or there would lx) no hot rolls or bread or cakes for breakfast. Tho cooks turn out nt r;'.H) a. in. At G a. in. coffeo is served in the staterooms to any pas senger requiring it, or on deck should any 0110 hnvo so fur forgotten himself ns to got out of bed at that hour. Breakfast is served from 8 to 10 11. 111., lunch from 1 to 2 p. 111., dinner front 5 to T p. 111. ; in tho intervals between breakfast and lunch, lunch and dinner, and dinner und super, tlio pussongcrs assist diges tion with ginger nuts, prunes, oranges, nuts, cake, and many other things looked tqioii wltli horror by tho natural man; anil this never ceases until the end of tho voyage, giving em ployment to tho cook till 10 p. 111. The bakers finish tlio day's work at 7 p. in. Tho sto nrds turn out at (I a.m., clean salqons, smoking rooms, etc., und prcjmro tho tables for break fast; n ixirtion of tho stewards attend to tho liedroo.ns, but tho greater uuuiler attend nt tnblo or wherever they may 1k .required. They finish the day's work at 11 p. 111., and aro tho liardest worked men on board llicsliip. Tho amount of provisions, groceries, etc., on board nt tho tlmo of sailing nro very largo. For n single passugo to tho westward ono of our most noted steamers, with !H cabin passengers and 11 crow of 2S7 persons, had, when leaving Liverpool 011 tho iSSth of August last, tlio following quantities of pro visions 12,r50 pounds fresh beef, 7(10 pounds corned lieef, 5)!!'.,0 iouiids mutton, tiVI pounds lamb, .'150 pounds veal, .TtO pounds pork, 2,000 iKiunds fresh fish, 000 fowls, M chick ens, 100 ducks, (50 geese, 80 turkeys, 200braco grouse, 15 tons imtittoes, :0 hampers vegeta bles, 220 quarts ico cream, 1,000 quarts milk and 11,500 eggs. In groceries alono there were over 200 dif ferent articles, including (for tho round voy ago of twenty-two days) 050 pounds ten, 1,200 pounds coffee, 1,(500' pounds whito sugar, 2,800 imiuikIs moist sugar, 750 pounds pulverized, sugar, 1,500 pounds cheese, 2,000 pounds" butter, !J,500 pounds hnm und 1,000 pounds bacon. HAtilLY ACCOUNTED I'Or.. Tho 'foregoing Seem enormous quantities, but very llttlo was left upon tho ship's arrival in K)rt. Tho consumption may easily bo re counted for when it is considered thnt the crew (each member of which Is allowed two pounds of lieef per day) uso 571 muiids, that !550 pounds per tiny will bo mod iu making lieef tea, making a totnl of 024 pounds for tho crow and tho single item of beef ten; then breakfust, lunch, dinner and supper for 547 passengers accounts for tho remainder. Eleven thousand flvo hundred eggs npicars to bo n largo consumption for tut eight days' passage; it is In reality ono egg ier iniuuto from tho tlmo tho ship sails from Liverpool until her arrival in New York, but thoy nro prepared in ninny ways for breakfast and disappear lit hundreds ut supper? in foct it is not tin unusual thing to see a lady or gentjo mnii finish off 11 supper of grilled chicken and deviled sardines with four poached eggs on toast, und it is tlio snino with everything on board. Lemons nro used nt the rato of )4 l-'1' '1C,,(1 Vp day; oranges, !! per head per day, and apples, when in scuson, at tho into of 2?i per head per day. Tho quantities of wine, spirits, liecr, etc., put on hoard for consumption 011 tlio round voyngo comprise 1,100 bottles of chninpagnc, 850 liottles of claret, (5.0(H) bottles of nle, 2,500 Isittles of porter, 4,500 bottles of mineral witters nud (159 bottles of various spirits. Crockery is broken very extensively, lieing at tho rato of 000 plates, 2S0 cups, 4I5S saucers, 1,21!5 tumblers, 200 wino glasses, 27 decanters and (5:1 water liottlcs in 11 binglo voyage. Ixmisvillo Courier-Journal. . Tribute to 1111 American Singer. Tho French people tlil:il; that Miss Thurshy should cast ttsldo her pirjmlices and sin,g in opera. Her success with tho most difilcult oiK-rutle music nt concerts given liero in 18&5 was almost without n parallel, but the singer herself expresses not tho least desire to 1k coino r.n operatic star. American papers havo given neeountd of her reception in nil tho musical cities of Euroio, of tho gold und jewels showered uikui her, but I do uov, think that America has hoard of 0110 royal gift. Onco sho sang nt l'ragtio to an audience of princes. Tlio enthusiasm was great. All complimented her, with tho exception of ono prince, whoso name, K'iiiiq, was tho most celebrated. Ho said not n word. Tho ncnt day this silent lover of music called upon tho sln;??r, carrying with him two nightingales. Hit presentation bpecch wus nuKit exquisite! "No woman's volco has over given 1110 so itnich pleasure its yours, and us it proof of my admiration deign to accept my most precious treasures, theso nightin gales, whom you will teach to sing." Tho nightingales in themselves were beautiful, as each ono was marked with it ml cross, but to tho prince they were of great value. At tho tlmo of tho Crusades ono of his ancestors was imprisoned and Ids captivity was lightened by tho singing of two tiightingules. Tho crusader' ransom was paid; he was released mid allowed to tako his comforters away. Since then the race of red cross nightingales has Uvn in tho ioseKiou of tho prince's fam ily, but there are never more than two in existence tit n tlmo, and tho last two were given to Miss Thursby. Was not tins prlnca right to consider theso Ids most precious treasures! Harontss Althea Salvador in Kansas City Times. Lord In DUgrnro. InxU Gmiivillo and Northbrooke are In terrible disgrace bocatiw they wore no collars at tho last lovce collars, wo mean, of their oileiu. Wiilcj would scarcely speak to them, und U was shocking. . . . . .. . . HUMAN LOVE. Thcra 1s n story told In eastern tnts, w hen nutumn nights grow cold, And round the fire the Mongol shepherds sit, With gravo responses listening unto It: Once, on the crrnuds of lib mercy tient, Uud(!lia. the holy and benevolent, Met a fell monster, huso and fierce of look, Whose nv. ful voice the Mils and forests shook. "O, son of pence!" the plant cried, "thy fate Is scaled r.t last, and love shall yield to hate." The unarmed liuiMlin, looking, with no trace Of fear or ancr, Into the monster's face, In pity r.ald. "Kvcn thee I love." I: as he spoki the sky tall terror sank To hand breadth size tho. huge abhorrence shrank Into the form and fashion of a dove, And where tho thunder of Its rage was heard, Circling above him si ectl sang tho bird "Hate hath no harm fpr love." so rnn the song, "And x?ace, unweaiioned, conquers every wrong." A ROOT DIGGERS' COLONY. A Tratrler'n Queer Adventure I.lfo In Underground Houses. Whllo dashing furiously along I suddenly felt myself sink into tho earth up to my arm pits. At tho same instant I heard down in tho ground the shriek.1! of human lieinzc women and children. I felt hands clutch nt my legs mid naked human lodies pressing against them. I uttered no found I wns too much frightened. I held my breath and shrank within myself. Every instant I ex pected to feel a knifo or 11 spenr thrust into my lcdy. My feet worn on tho ground, and without knowing what I was doing, L gavo n strong push with my breast. Finding thnt something was giving way, I plunged for ward and up a steep slope of two. or three fee', when I found myself bounding liko a deer across tho lovel meadow with a great contrivance of basket work suspended from my hijis and extending a yard or more 011 nil sides. I looked for all tho world as if I had donned u hugo hooped skirt. While making n momentary halt, in order to disengage myself from tho singular ma chine hanging upon 111c, I cast my eyes back vnrd and saw nn old woman and three or four naked children scrambling out of tho hole from which I hud just mado r.iy escape. Yelling at tho top of their voices, they dashed away as fust as their legs would carry them, making for tho nearest hills. By tho time I had pushed my basket skirt down to 1:13 heels and stepped out of it I saw n dozen or moro black heads emerging from tho earth in my immediate neighborhood. Seeing the shaggy heads popping up all about me, 1 darted away nt n paco that must truly havo nstou ished tho natives. -Ithlukl must havo deft, tlio village at least ilvo miles behind before I halted. I then throw myself uixin tho ground too much exhausted to even load my gun. "W'us it one of their houses that you had jumped into, untie'' here asked n small boy, who had been listening with "all his ears." "Yes, boy, tho roof of ono of their lints. You sco these miserable root digging, frog eating dovlls live in holes dug in tho ground, just liko so many woodehucks. Thoy mako a kind of basket work dome of witlow, which they place over tho hole und cover with grass mid earth by way of roof, and in hot weather they sometimes strew this roof with green leaves ns an additional protection from the heat of the sun. Tho 0110 in which I plunged wns so covered, nnd tho framework being old mid rotten I popjied through it easily enough." Salt Luko Tribune. Novel Clul) In I'arls. Wo hnvo a now club und ono of tho most novel ever organized. It springs from tliut insatiate desiro of Parisians for originality. Tho motulicre of tho dub nro not more likely to Iki congenial associates than if thoy were selected entirely at random, for tho chief nnd distinguishing requisition is shortsightedness. Nevertheless tlio first dinner of tho club was mi interesting and pleasant occasion, and as all will continue to look upon tho affnlr iu n more or less humorous light it may continue to bo successful. To determine eligibility tlio mniiugiug committee decided that n enndi ditto must wear either spectacles, eyeglasses, or at least 11 quizjjlass in 0110 eye. In excep tional cases men who wore colored glasses were admitted, but it is declared with minii solemnity that this will not bo dono ngnin. Tho club has not as yet u headquarters, and it is doubtful if tho ideu will Iki carried fur ther than a monthly dinner iu some hotel parlors. Among tho memtiers nro many women, and imlced one of tho vice presidents is n lady, who is, I Iwlieve, most favorably known 111 America Mine. Ainiu Judic. The club is called -tho Associution of tho Short Sighted "Dcs Myope. Paris Cor, Philadel phia Times. Sho Wasn't Mashed on Him. Tlio young Indies iu a popular retail estab lishment havo liooii joking ono of their num ber, a pretty, curly haired brunstte, about her seeming infatuation with a good looking bank teller. Tho young woman in question displayed mixiety to make tho daily deposits at tho bank, and always on her return could Ik; noticed in front of tho mirror. Her com panions decided that there could bo but 0110 r:planation of such conduct, anil that tho brunette was in love with tlio teller, and con sulted tho mirror to ussuro herself that her charms were not on tho wtuio. But a few days ago tho young lady mado such it satis factory accounting that tho joking censed ut -iiee. "You see, ho has short curly hair just liko mine," she explained naively, "and ho givis It tho most beautiful twist over tlio left ear. I'd give iinythingif I could only get my huir liko that, nnd I study his stylo every timo I go to tho lumk, nud then brush initio to cor respond us toon ns I get back to tho store, llo's very nice, of course, but you needn't think I'm mashed on him." Buffalo Courier. Tlio Czar us nil Author. The war of Hussin isaUmt to join the ranks of royal and imperial authors. He has revised Uis diaries for tho lust ten or fifteen years, and lias intrusted M. Zieby, tho Hungarian paint ?r, with tho task of illustrating them. Tho work will lie published nt St. Petersburg in tho autumn. Before tho critics get through with him ho will probably regret tho failure 3f tho Nihilistic plots aguiust him. Chicago Trfkine. Ciihan l.iulles' Head I)res. Ill nil Ihu cities of Culia tho ladies, 110 mat ter what their rank or means, go to tho theatre uncovcml. A mantilla or n gossa mer head scarf of laco is tho most that thoy wear in their carriages or iu tho streets on !ho way to tho play, and indoors theso pre tenses are removed Mud ono sees them ns they tppear in thWr parlors. It is a pity that New forkcrs slnxild bo leas sensible than these. Now York Sun. An Outh With (Hows On. It has generally lieon considered an ludls xuisablo part of tho formality of taking an xttlt Iu mi English court that tho witness mould ivmovo his glove, if ho happens to .vearoua, liefore taking tho book in his hand. Recently a judge has had the courage to glvo tit opinion that there was room for doubt whether a man muy not swear a perfectly rood oath w ith his gloves on. . Nover put n good knifo into hot grease, as t destroys its sharpness. Havo always at laud a kitchen fork for turning meat or fry ng jotatooa. PHYSICAL STRENGTH. THE WORK OF A YOUNG BEGIN NER IN A GYMNASIUM. Tho l'lrst Thing to llo Something riso Needed Hosldcs it Hlff Hlcops-Oj t" tlcs In Later Ufe-KlnMi with a Until. In these days of muscular activity a gytn nnshini is nn interesting place even to those vho know nothing nlont gymnastics. Hero is a large hall, with a gallery running nroiinu It. and filled with nil sorts of curious con trivances for developing physical strength. A dozen men, of ns many kind of build, aro exercising their muscles and preparing for tho outdoor contests of jiower nnd endtiranco which are to tako place during tho summer. TiiBCo.uro big men "shoving" dutnb.liclls and llttlo men standing on their hands, uhilo men of middle tizo pull on strange looking ma chines composed of pulleys nnd weigliU iho outsider wonders what all these things nro, nud what they are for. and it may Ixj well to satisfv his curiosity. Tho first thing a man wants to do who wants to 1k a gymnast is to convert his soft flesh into tough, elastic muscle. Tho careless observer fancies that muscle ought to bo ns hard as wood, and ho is often misled into fancying that tho bicejis is the chief, if not tho only, inusclo that is useful. a 1110 i!ici:rs. "Oh, lool; nt his muscle," is tho common ex clamation when a man. brings his wrist up oward his neck and .raises a swelling lump on tho front of his upper" hlin. Well, a big bicepsisagood.thing; but a man who lacks tiicejis und poctornlls major ill not do a great deal of damago In n fight or iu a foot ball match. Tlio Diceps is 11 pulling muscio, nnd it happens that a man jins to push just as hard as ho has to pull in all contests of strength. So tho young gymnast usually be gins with Indian clubs, which pnxlnco 11 general development of the arms, shoulders nnd chest. At nil public gjmuastic exhibi tions fancy club swinging is one of tho feat ures, and somo of tlio intricate nnd graceful evolutions that aro informed by crack club swingers r.ro surprising. But for tlio mere development of strength thrco or four of tho rudimentary movements, which can bo mas tered in an hour, nro nil that aro necessary. Tho young gymnast usually liegins by working too hard. It is hard to teach a man moderation on his first day in tho gymna sium, but on tho second day it is usually moro difficult to persuado him to do anything nt all. Tho first day's exercise has a telling effect upon the. untrained muscles. By tho timo tho young gymnast goes to bed ho begins to feel ns if ho hail tho rheumatism in every fiber of his body from tlio waist up, and when ic arises in tho morning ho is so soro that every movement causes pain. Ho is loth to mako a single motion that is ifuneccssary, and tho exertion of strength causes him to groan. There is only ono thing to lo done, and that n to go right to work again. Tho muscles nro stiff nnd the stiffness must bo taken out. So let tho young gymnast get his clubs nnd swing away. After the first few moments tho soreness will begin to decrease and will gradually disappear. Tlio next day it will lw just as bad as over, and must bo removed by tho same method. In a few days it will per manently disappear, and tho gymnast will discover that his muscles havo already begun to show tho effects of systematic exercise. 71IK r.RAI.LL nAns. It will ba timo for hint to tako to tho paral lel bare two long pieces of wood supported by uprights ond placed sido by sido just about as far apart as tho width of a good sized man s shoulders. I he first thing that tho be ginner usually does is to practice pushing up and down. Placing his hands upon tho bare ho supports his body nbovo them, while his legs hang down between. Then by bending his nrms nt tho elbows lio lowers his lody ns far as ho can and pushes it up again by Ktraighteuiii: his nrms. This looks simplo enough, but it is cruel, hard work at first. Tho beginner, however, must keep nt it till ho can do it fifteen or twenty times. Ho must continuo tho dub swinging, and may add a littlo light dumb Im.41 exercise. Heavy dumb bells should bo eschewed by nil except thoso who nro not going in for heavy gym nastics. Thoy aro not healthful, nnd plenty of lino development can bo got without them. Tho man who has to sit in an ofilco all day can go to his gymnasium for .in hour hi tho evening nnd get nil tho excrciso needful for health and strength. Onco acquired, tho ability to do gymnastic feats may bo retained for years. Dally practice U nil that is noccs sary. it is a mistako to supposo that a man must givo up gymnastics when ho I as got along to say (50 years of ago. If ho will con tinuo topractico an hour daily ho may go on doing good hack nnd front somersaults until his children are old enough to take lessons from him. And if ho cannot spare tho timo to go to a gymnasium ho can keep up his muscles nt home. Flvo minutes' dumb bell excrciso liefore going to bed, a fow pushes up and down on tho backs of two chairs by way of parallels, mid flvo mi mites' club swinging iu tho morning will preserve for many years the muscles developed in tho gymnasium. Ono thing should noVer lio neglected. If n man wants to get the very liest possible benefit out of his gymnastic, work, let him ulwuys finish with it bath. Tho water should not lie warm, nor yet quito cold, nnd tho tiblution should bo ended with a cold shower . bath. After that let tho gymmtst rub down hard with a Turkish bath towl and dress himself. Ho will leave tho gymnasium feeling i:s if ho could whip John K Sullivan, cut 11 Texas steer, or go around tho world on a toboggan. Now York Times. Morhld Mental I'henoincnn. Tho minister of justieo of Denmark has set an example that will lw followed by all thoso who have tho power and who haveut tho samo time tho truo mental and physical welfare of tho peop'.o ut heart, iu issuing nn edict against . jH?rnrission or public exhibitions of tho phe nomena of hypnotism, spirituulism, so called I animal magnetism, und similar manifesta tion. Kvcry physician knows tho contagious ness or infectiousness of these morbid moiital phenomena, nnd this interdiction cannot fail to havo n good effect. Public Opinion. School for Newspaper Men. An experienced journalist in Loudon has started u school for newspaper men. Pupils will bo instructed iu ' tho writing of ai-n-graphs, reviewing, shorthand, sioclal corre spondence, w ar correspondence, leaders, sub leaders, art and dramatic criticism, tub edit ing, editing, etc. Chicago Times. Tho l'okor flayer to His Love, Whene'er thy grace full liand I hold, I needs must heave ace high. Though bluff my manner, likewise bold, Two iwilr.ilo not deny. Stay In and smile upon my suit, Chip not iny heart so ill. Unto your ante I will scoot, Aud toars my eyes will Mb A flush mounts to thy queenly cheek, I call for answers straight. Draw near; I feci somo knavish freak Has stacked tbo car hr of fate. -Pleating Jok. FRIENDSHIP. Shall we not clasp each other's hand once more, And hind new links to memory's golden chain? Itevlew the past, in converse sweet agatD, Of halcyon days and friends now gone before! Ah' yes. I feel that tluin it b to be 1 1 never yet have said "farew ell"' to thee Nor never will, on this terrestrial shore. Friendship Is kin to love, and when 'tis true, ., ItefreshlnK is to lonely hearts n dew To drooping llov.'rs will confidence restore. Kind words are gems that will be thine In hcav'n. Withhold them net- up there far more Is given 'We'll fliurthe lltiRs of memory's golden uualn , Are still unbroken anil e'er bright remain. - "F. K. (i." la Courier JournaL PANTOMIME IN NAPLES. A l'eopto AVI10 Aro Jlost I'roflclcnt In tbo 1'se of Slsn I angtinge. The people of Naples nro most proficient in tho uso of gesture. "Wltli what were you most struck when in nngluudi" asked a Brit ish subject of a Neajwlitaii. "With tho total absence of all'antomtuiic nction in conver sation," replied he. To watch n lecturer ad dressing ids audience without so much ns lifting a finger, in emphasis of his remarks, is tho most laughable of sights to this lively southern nice. Such admirable mimics are tho Neapolitans that they can' oven disjicnsoAvith'tUd'tiso of projicr names. A twist of tlio features, a strut, or other peculiarity of manner, and they havo indicated an acquaintance without using his patronymic. Two men on opposite sides of a street in Naples have lieen known to hold a protracted conversation by means of signs nlono. Numlicr 0110 pulls a face descriptive of somo common ucquuintimeo und makes nn inter rogative motion. "Number two crosses ills fingers liko bars before his faco nnd winks significantly. Numler ono signals, "Whyf" NumlxT two closes his fingers, with a pecu liar motion of tho hand, laughs and proceeds on his wny. This, being translated, reads, "Where is so nnd so.'"' 'In prison." "What has he lieen doingt" 'Stealing." Familiarity with tho language of signs saves n great ileal of timo and effort. For example, if, in any other city, you wish to invito a passing acquaintance to dinner, you must stop him, and go throurii a quantity of cour teous formality. In Naples, you may simply rap your mouth, und intimate tho hour by holding up tho requisite number of lingers. A motion 0:1 his part informs you whether your friend will necepl your hospitality. The following nro somo of the most common signs and gestures in uso: An outward wavo of tho hand signifies "adieu;'' an inward, "come;'' a downward, "stop!"' Tho thumb pointed backward says "look;" put to tho lips, with a slight toss of tho head, it means dunking; passed across tho forehead, us though wiping away perspi ration, fatigue. Tho index linger drawir across tho mouth denotes anger: across tho clenched teeth, defianc?; rapping tho closed lingers ngaissst tho Hps, eating' passing tho extended index and thumb iu front of tho mouth, hunger; twisting tho ond of tho mus tache, "Isn't it good to eatf" n backward wavo of tho hand beneath tho chin, and n simul taneous tos3 of tho head, "Not at any price!'' It is infinitely amusing to sit nttho window and watch Neapolitans in tlio street; if their conversation is nt all animated, 0110 can easily follow it by tho uso of tho eyes alone. Youth's Companion. A Chicago Paper's Trlcl.-. Ono of tho best April fool tricks to bo found among tho yellow and dusty files of tho local ncwspapeis wns that played by Tho Evening Journal in lf.VJ. That was boforo Tho Jour nal grow its patria-cha'. bcaid and ubolishod its solar announcement nt tho head of its local column. On thu evening of March SI Tha Journal camo out witli .tho nnnouncomcnt that a noted uthlete, who was then stopping nt tho Trcmont house, would climb tho spiro of tlio old "Speckled" church at !! o'clock tho following afternoon. Tho "Speckled'' church used to stand oil tho corner of Wabash av enuo and Washington street. It derived its peculiar naino from tho mottled surfaco of tlio stones in its walls and foundation. Tho spiro of tho church towered 'J50 feet nbovo tlio ground and was capped by a big, gilded ball. Tho athlete, according to Tho Journal's story, was to sit upon this nplicre after hav ing completed his ascent. Chicago was not much of a town in thoso days, and such a startling announcement ns that, which ap peared iu Tlio Journal created great excite ment. The 1st of April broke cold and raw. with plenty of mud under foot and a canopy of heavy, leaden clouds overhead. By -noon fully ."i.OOO persons stood thivering in thoopeii space about tho church nud ut 2 o'clock, tho timo advertised for the performance, twr thirds of the town's population wero huddled together nbout tho no".hboring blocks and buildings. Hour after l our passed with 110 signs of the steeple climber. Tlio crowd grow impatient and cold. Just as tho sun was about to go down somebody announced that ho thought Tho Journal was playing nn April fool trick. This suspicion coon fastened itself iu tho heads of nil thoso present, and for two hours after nightfall tlio alleys mid sido streets wero filled with persons who were en gaged in tho purticulnr act of "skulking homo." This was The Journal's fii-st and only joke. Chicago Hcreld. White IIoi".o Spoils. "There is another," sn'd 0110 of tho door keepers nt tho Whito lleuss ono day not long ago. "What's that:" as.-' some one who was standing nenr by. "r by, n cigar fiend," wns tho reply. "Sco tha' man going off there," and ho jiointcd to u veiy respoetablo looking man walking away pu'"ug nt a half smoked cigar. "Wo havo ieg'.''''.r customers here men who make it a p'"-tice to come to tho Whito House ouco or l'''-o a day and pick up stumps of cigars threw)! on tho porch or walk leading to tho hot's'. Cabinet days nro their chief days, and when Congress is in sossion they livo high. ' hey know that cabi net officers and seuatni- tmoko good cignrs and often they havo jiff lighted ono lefore reaching tho house nnd threw it away. You would lio surprised to !-now"tho men wlio coino here daily to pi 1: up theso cast off si limps robins I believe the nctors call them. Tho Whito House, you know, is tho place where all tho prominent men of tho country, in town, visit. Theso men invariably sinokj good cignrs, nnd it is a picnic for tho 'robin hunters.' Watch tho porch some duy and see for yourself. Baltimore Bun. Willing to Tuko tho ItUk Now. First gentleman (entc !ng the ajiartnient of second gentleman) Ah 't a year ago you challenged mo to fight a 'uel? Second gentleman Is''- 'ily) I did, sir. First'O. And I told yni I had just bem married, and I did not care to risk my llfo Jk any such hazard. Second G. (haughtily) I remember, sir. First U. tbittoiiyi V. n'i, my feelings have undergone a change: ar; timo you want to fight let 1110 know. Bon jour. Paris Figarc No monoy Is better ruit than what Ls laid out for domestic satisfaction. A nnn is pleased thnt his wife il dressed .U3 well 03 other iople, and a wife is pleased that she is dressed. JoUnsou.