OREGON SCOUT
J0NX3 & CHANGTY, Fabliahers.
UNION. OKR4JBN.
A FAIR START.
yin. Calllioard, Jr., Forestall Any Allu
sions to Mrs. Cnllhoartl, Sr.'s, Cooking.
"When Mr. find Mrs. Callboanl returned
from their wedding journey tliey settled
right down to housekeeping. Happier doves
never nestled in a flat, ond Mrs. Callboard
determined to mako n liomo for Charley from
the start. No foolish misunderstandings
should arise in their domestic arrangements,
ir her wisdom and tact could prevent. When
they nut down to their first meal Nclllo
Jielpod him to an opaquo slab of something
nbout an inch thick, that fell on the table
-with a dull, gickening.tluuL- "There is some
borne mado bread liko your mother used to
make, Charley, dear," sho said sweetly. "I
learmxl how to make that solid clrclo of
roller composition around the middle of tho
loaf when wo were stopping at her house last
-week; If you should ever want a chango I
can mako brea'd .whiter than snow and lighter
than sea foam, but this is the kind your mother
makes, mid 1 thought you might liko it tho
Ilrst day to keep you from getting homesick.
That nlco cako," sho added, seeing him
thoughtfully endeavoring to indent with his
fork a dark brown pyramid of elastic con
crete, "is a cako such as your aunt Ellen used
to maka I got the prescription from her. I
don't cat it myself, but it is said to bo harm
lea If not taken to excess. Theso Irregular
fragments of leather bolting oro doughnuts,
liko those your grandmother makes; sho
taught mo how to mako them, and I had a
kroner's permit to make these. Those
ghastly remains on tho platter aro all that is
left of tho holocaust that is a chicken
roasted after tho favorite prescription of
your sister Jane. And this, Charley dear,"
she continued, iouriiig out a coal black
liquid, not qulto so thick as tho Missouri
river, but far luoro odorous, "this is coffee liko
yon used to get nt home. I mako nil theso
things somewhat different for myself, and
will use my own recipes, as a rule, after this,
Jmt any time you want things as you used to
Imvo them nt home, dear, I can fill overy
prescription In tho phnrniueopain, and don't
you forget it." And ho didn't. That was
twenty-three years ago, and not ono of tho
nix young Culllioards win remember over to
have heard tholr futher so much as refer to
tko doughnuts his grandmother used to mako
when ho was a boy. Brooklyn Kaglc,
IT DID HIM GOOD.
"Medicine Administered to n Youngster
by Ono Who Know How.
Sido by side In tho waiting room of tlo
Third street passengerstatlon yesterday snt n
nervous llttlo woman and a tall, melancholy
man. Tho woman had a boyubout7 years of
ago who seemed to Iw posseted of an ovll
spirit. Ho wouldn't sit nor stand still. Ho
didn't want apples nor candy. Ho couldn't
be coaxed nor bribed to Is'lmvo himself, and
Ills kicking and whining seemed to wear tho
llttlo woman out. Tho melancholy man stood
it for a whllo, but finally felt called upon to
jbsorvo:
"Madam, I know what that child is aching
for."
"Yes, so do I," sho promptly answered,
"but l'vo a kill on my right arm."
"I'll tako tho job off your hands if you say
fa It's Humthin' l'vo been in tho habit of
doing almost overy day of my life, for l'vo
bad threo wives anil thrco seta of children."
Tho boy set up an oxtru howl and began
kicking her shins just then, and shu looked
around in n helpless way anil said:
"Well, you may try. Not too vigorous,
but just vigorous enough."
Ho reached over and picked tho child up,
laid him across his knee, and tho slinking
machine started off nt about fort' involu
tion a mhitito and worked to n charm.
"There you sot therol" said tho old man as
'he straightened tho boy up and sat him down.
-"That's better than nil tho candy and ien
nuts in tho country, and you'll liehavo your
self for tho next three, days."
The boy blubbered softly and sat still, and
when tho mother liowed her gratitude tho
old man replied:
"Oh, don't mention It. It's tho best medi
cine in tho world. Besides, I was u bit lono
tome to day, and it has Eort o' cheered mo
up.'' Detroit Freo Press.
llefiiHcil According to tho Illll.
Sho was tho daughter of ono of tho con
gressmen who had assisted in drafting tho
interstate commerce bill, and having nindo n
copy of it for him had become tolerably
familiar with 1U provisions. 80 it was only
natural icrhnig that when u notorious flirt
proposed to her tho other ovenlng sho should
utilize tho bill In refusing him.
"No, Ueorge," sho remarked in decided
tone when ho had risen from Ills knees, "it
Mainover bo. 1 would not dam intrust my
happiness to 11 miiu who would ho certain to
indulge himself in many liko and contempo
raneous attachments."
George protested that If sho would consent
to bo his ho would never look at any other
girl again, But it wus 110 uso.
"You cannot ulter my determination,
George. Nothing would induouuo to plight
toy' troth so long us 1 remained sceptical In
regard to my lover's constancy to his promise
to tako 1110 for better, for worse, for richer,
for poorer, for short lint j for long haul."
George fumed, bit his ilp and vowed that
tho was too cruel.
"1 am not cruel, George. I am only frank.
You rovoko just such scepticism and 1 11111
tf n peculiarly exacting disposition. I would
demand of my husband it complete sunvuder
of hU heart to 1110 and in time you would re
lent t but demand as awarding 1110 undue and
aureasomihlo pivfcrciico; you would upbraid
mo for expecting you to oxoreiso unjust dis
crimination against other and conipoting
Indies of your acquaintance. So you see,
Georgo"
But Oeorgo had vanished into tho outer
larVtioss. New York Tribune.
Cotton liuitinir eru mut nr.
"Vick bellovca thnt tho day of patent fruit
jars are ended, since tho testimony Is so satis
factory in favor of tying cotton batting ovur
the mouth of the jnr containing the fruit, Tho
fruit U cooked, and then ourcd hot into tho
jars, which are at onco covered with white
paper, and over that a layer of cotton Kitting,
just as it coinvs off tho roll, and tied down
fcecuroly wltli cotton twine. Tho philosophy
of it is that tho cotton prevents tho entrance
at bacteria, which are tho cause of all fer
meat. Dutch Creum Toast
Dutch cream toast U a most nppetiilngdlih
fer breakfast or lunch, boido being con
"wnleut for utilising the remnants qf a cold
boiled ham. llemovtt all tho fat and dry the
bain in tho oven till ft will grate like cheese.
Make delicato, thin slice of toast, butter
them and spread with grated ham. Make a
muco with the yolks of two eggs, a gill and a
balf of cream or milk with a bit of butter
Added; heat and stir It; our boiling hot over
Umi toast mid serve.
"SUFFER NOT A MAN TO PASS."
"And They Made 11 Decree: That No
Man Should I'uss."
Tho Interstate commerce bill having mado
free passes n thing of the jmst, so to speak, on
the trunk railway lines, a now modus vivcndl
has been established Iwtweou the iiow.-pajwrg
and the railwnys. Tho newspapers propose
to cliargo for all free noticei of tho rnilwuys
and their noblo managers, and tho editor will
bo expected to pay for his ticket when ho
rides.. The Chicago Nows announces tho fol
lowing as Its new schedule for railway puf
fery: 1. For the setting forth of the virtues (act
ual or alleged) of presidents, general mana
gers or directors, J ler lino for first insertion
and 81 for each subsequent Insertion.
2. For puffs expressed in clioico English,
with occasional French phrases or poetical
extracts (tho whole with a palpablo motive'
of honest enthusiasm), $2.50 per Hue; W P1"""
cent, reduction on each subsequent insertion.
it. General passenger ageuts-and division
suj)erlntcndeiits will bo accorded half rates
on tho terms offeied in rule No. 1. But in all
cases where tho title of colonel is used regular
11 ret class rates will lio demanded.
4. Thousand milo tickets on tho basis of
two cents per milo will lie received In cx-.-hango
for advertising ilono at our card rates,
but theso ticket must hold good on jiussenger
as well us 011 freight trains.
5. No deviation from tho card rates can 1k
mado In favor of parties handing us flvo cent
cigars with the puffs they desire published.
0. For complimentary notices of tho wives
and children of railroad officials wo demand
S1..1U per lino. Wo have on hand, ready for
immediate use, a splendid assortment of this
literature.
7. I'oetry will be nindo to order nt 1 fer
inch, ngnto measure. Wo nro prepared to
supply 11 lino lino of heptnnietcr puffs, also a
limited number of sonnets and triolets, in ox
chnngo for 1,000 milo tickets. Epic poems,
containing descriptions of scenery, dining
cam, etc, will Iki published nt social rates.
8. Uenernl suKjrlntcndenlsM.'iiding requests
for tho suppression of nows must accompany
their requests with 810 bills not necessarily
for publication, but .-.s a guarantee of good
faith.
CIiiiiiko Curs.
Huwasa Baltlnn.io man on a Baltimore
and Potomac train this morning, bound
to .Muiilsiro', and t lie conductor told It tin he
must change cars at Bowie. At the first sta
tion this sido of Bowie, tho conductor discov
ered him in tho smoking car.
"Why," ho said, "I thought I told you if
you wanted to go to Marlboro' you would
have to change cars at Bowiol"
"Well, I did.".
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did; I left tho other car and came
Into this one."
Tlio ninn wu3 in dead earnest, and tho con
ductor was o astonished nt his innocent sim
plicity that ho brought him on to Washington
for nothing. Wir-hingtoii Critic.
l.lho It'VluiH In" Slicriiiuii.
If I find a man who vhas honest und ooji
rlght I doan' go back on him iwcnuso ho eats
tit 1 1 his knife.
S01110 men vhill lay for you for it dozen
years, und sometimes vlion you shtubyour
too doy vhill sliuinp in und slmdgo your win Jo
character by tier remarks indulged in at dot
tlmo.
It vhas pooty easy to wonder how ills man?
or dot mans gets along so well and dond't
work, but wo doan' stop a Icodlo to see if lie
doan' wonder dor samo mit us.
If an oltlt man comes to mo und asks if he
should get married again I tell him it vhas all
light. It vims one of der vhays he can make
a fool of himself according to law. Carl
Duuder in Detroit Freo l'ress.
Western I.llifirullty.
Irato Omaha Man Soo here, you sold mo n
lot last week-.
Heal Estate Agent Yes, sir, I remeinlicr
1111 unimproved lot in 0110 of our additions.
"Well, It's improved now. There's a hen
coop on It this morning."
"Put It up yourself i"
"No, tho blankety blank thing enmo down
tho blankety blank Missouri river and landed
there."
"Well, wo won't charge you anything for
that." Omaha World.
A Hungry Machine.
Ail old fellow stood in a butcher's shop
watching with much interest tho work of a
now sausage grinder. Uuablo to resist a
closer inspection, ho touched tho machliio in a
sensitive place and lost 0110 of his lingers. A
look of astonishment crossed his face.
"What's the inatterf" tho butcher asked.
"Nothlu' much," he replied, looking at his
bleeding "stub" and then at the grinder, "hut
I wnz jest or thlukin' that this is tho liniiti
griest machmo I over seed." Arkansaw
Traveler.
A Horrible SilKKCstlon.
Omaha (llii No, I never visited in Chicago,
although 1 have passisl through it,
Chicago (llrl Oh! you cun't tell anything
nlMHittlio city that way, you know. You
should meet and know tho ioopli
"They are very refitted, I suppose!"
"Mercy! wo aro not cannibals."
'Cannibals!"
"Wliy.no! Wo don't reilno people; wo re
lino lurd."-Omalm World.
Tho Hon,
AVIuit a vain, foolish creature tho hen 1st
Now tho lobster lays front 11,000 to 12,tHK) eggs
it year, und never cackles once, (lo to, vain
hen I yea, verily, go three, or four! Journal
of Education.
tin ill lllin Nuniher One.
1'ivtty School Teacher Thomas, state sonu
of tho lK'uutlos of education.
Thomas (oldest Isiy In the class) School
uui'ums. Boston Record,
Musical t'ulrlmU In Shoocitligo.
Oh. where ulildes the fond kazoo,
The luinvl organ fair,
' And where is heard ttu trit hidtHt
Of llsh horns on the air!
And where tuv found tho life and drum
Discounted with goodliest rest J
And where do fiddles liveliest liuniT
The west the mighty west!
Bonutns,.ruKUiti and all o' thnt
Are rlshtly Judged effete,
Whllo Inrgos written hi II tint
Are dourly out of date;
Homo liko the cold pliumy-forty,
Hut whistling suits us best
And tqvry, If It Isn't naughty,
Will not catch 011 out west.
From sklnnlhsr luigs or canning beef
Or diving Into stocks, .
CuuUI wo expect to find relief
In I lay da or lu lkuiisl
Ah, no; from iork nud hcut and lard
Wo turn aside with xost
To slug some opus of some bard
WhottO homo U lu tho west.
Bo gvt yo gouo, yo weakling crowj
YourtutiesniMstalouudllat .
And cannot hold a caudle to
The words of Silas lratt!
11U opusc are lu doiuuud
And inv the flail test
By which all ether fall or staud
lu this the mighty west !
-Chicago Newt.
TUB OCEAFSTEAM'SiriP.
HOW THE PASSENGERS ARE PRO
VISIONED AND PROVIDED FOR.
Tho Cooks Kept Itimy, "IJlow High,
1'lnw Ixw" Tlio Amount of frovU
Jui. Groceries, IHc., lirotiRht 011
liourd Drinkables und Crockery.
1'assengers inhalo with tho sea air nn ex
cess of enthusiasm, und nro" ready to become
excited 011 tho smallest provocation. Is it n
passing vessel. Or a spouting whale? Or n
towering lcelcrgf It forms for tho nonco an
all absorbing topic of interest and eager
speculatl6n. But, even to those who cannot
bo termed epicures, tho chief concern and
uppermost thought of each day Is undoubt
edly "What shall wo eat and what shall wo
drink" Tho fresh breezes create hearty ap
petites, and with numlcrs of jicoplo'tlio'tlmb
is agreeably scnt in tho enjoyment of ono
meal or in tho anticipation of tho next. No
apology becomes necessary for introducing
soma statistics relntivo to tho consumption of
victualing and other stores, esjieclally to such
readers ns havo crossed tho Atlantic, and to
thoso whoconte'mpiat'o making tho trip.
'1 ho chief steward is not only responslblo
for tho good order of tho servants and the
cleanliness of tho saloons, cabins, baths, etc.,
but for providing tho passengers with a good
and liberal table. Tho greatest care is exer
cised in tlio selection of tho'staff who havo to
attend to tho passengers' wants, and that
theso are many and constant tho ordinary
rou til v) will jjjiow.
TlIK COOKS KKIT BL'BV.
The bakers turn out nt 4 a. 111. ; this is not n
cosoof "weather crmltting," for "blow high,
blow low," out they coir.e, or there would lx)
no hot rolls or bread or cakes for breakfast.
Tho cooks turn out nt r;'.H) a. in. At G a. in.
coffeo is served in the staterooms to any pas
senger requiring it, or on deck should any 0110
hnvo so fur forgotten himself ns to got out of
bed at that hour. Breakfast is served from
8 to 10 11. 111., lunch from 1 to 2 p. 111., dinner
front 5 to T p. 111. ; in tho intervals between
breakfast and lunch, lunch and dinner, and
dinner und super, tlio pussongcrs assist diges
tion with ginger nuts, prunes, oranges, nuts,
cake, and many other things looked tqioii wltli
horror by tho natural man; anil this never
ceases until the end of tho voyage, giving em
ployment to tho cook till 10 p. 111. The bakers
finish tlio day's work at 7 p. in. Tho sto nrds
turn out at (I a.m., clean salqons, smoking
rooms, etc., und prcjmro tho tables for break
fast; n ixirtion of tho stewards attend to tho
liedroo.ns, but tho greater uuuiler attend nt
tnblo or wherever they may 1k .required.
They finish the day's work at 11 p. 111., and
aro tho liardest worked men on board llicsliip.
Tho amount of provisions, groceries, etc.,
on board nt tho tlmo of sailing nro very
largo. For n single passugo to tho westward
ono of our most noted steamers, with !H
cabin passengers and 11 crow of 2S7 persons,
had, when leaving Liverpool 011 tho iSSth of
August last, tlio following quantities of pro
visions 12,r50 pounds fresh beef, 7(10 pounds
corned lieef, 5)!!'.,0 iouiids mutton, tiVI pounds
lamb, .'150 pounds veal, .TtO pounds pork,
2,000 iKiunds fresh fish, 000 fowls, M chick
ens, 100 ducks, (50 geese, 80 turkeys, 200braco
grouse, 15 tons imtittoes, :0 hampers vegeta
bles, 220 quarts ico cream, 1,000 quarts milk
and 11,500 eggs.
In groceries alono there were over 200 dif
ferent articles, including (for tho round voy
ago of twenty-two days) 050 pounds ten,
1,200 pounds coffee, 1,(500' pounds whito
sugar, 2,800 imiuikIs moist sugar, 750 pounds
pulverized, sugar, 1,500 pounds cheese, 2,000
pounds" butter, !J,500 pounds hnm und 1,000
pounds bacon.
HAtilLY ACCOUNTED I'Or..
Tho 'foregoing Seem enormous quantities,
but very llttlo was left upon tho ship's arrival
in K)rt. Tho consumption may easily bo re
counted for when it is considered thnt the
crew (each member of which Is allowed two
pounds of lieef per day) uso 571 muiids, that
!550 pounds per tiny will bo mod iu making
lieef tea, making a totnl of 024 pounds for tho
crow and tho single item of beef ten; then
breakfust, lunch, dinner and supper for 547
passengers accounts for tho remainder.
Eleven thousand flvo hundred eggs npicars
to bo n largo consumption for tut eight days'
passage; it is In reality ono egg ier iniuuto
from tho tlmo tho ship sails from Liverpool
until her arrival in New York, but thoy nro
prepared in ninny ways for breakfast and
disappear lit hundreds ut supper? in foct it is
not tin unusual thing to see a lady or gentjo
mnii finish off 11 supper of grilled chicken and
deviled sardines with four poached eggs on
toast, und it is tlio snino with everything
on board. Lemons nro used nt the rato of
)4 l-'1' '1C,,(1 Vp day; oranges, !! per head
per day, and apples, when in scuson, at tho
into of 2?i per head per day.
Tho quantities of wine, spirits, liecr, etc.,
put on hoard for consumption 011 tlio round
voyngo comprise 1,100 bottles of chninpagnc,
850 liottles of claret, (5.0(H) bottles of nle, 2,500
Isittles of porter, 4,500 bottles of mineral
witters nud (159 bottles of various spirits.
Crockery is broken very extensively, lieing
at tho rato of 000 plates, 2S0 cups, 4I5S saucers,
1,21!5 tumblers, 200 wino glasses, 27 decanters
and (5:1 water liottlcs in 11 binglo voyage.
Ixmisvillo Courier-Journal. .
Tribute to 1111 American Singer.
Tho French people tlil:il; that Miss Thurshy
should cast ttsldo her pirjmlices and sin,g in
opera. Her success with tho most difilcult
oiK-rutle music nt concerts given liero in 18&5
was almost without n parallel, but the singer
herself expresses not tho least desire to 1k
coino r.n operatic star. American papers havo
given neeountd of her reception in nil tho
musical cities of Euroio, of tho gold und
jewels showered uikui her, but I do uov, think
that America has hoard of 0110 royal gift.
Onco sho sang nt l'ragtio to an audience of
princes. Tlio enthusiasm was great. All
complimented her, with tho exception of ono
prince, whoso name, K'iiiiq, was tho most
celebrated. Ho said not n word.
Tho ncnt day this silent lover of music
called upon tho sln;??r, carrying with him
two nightingales. Hit presentation bpecch
wus nuKit exquisite! "No woman's volco has
over given 1110 so itnich pleasure its yours, and
us it proof of my admiration deign to accept
my most precious treasures, theso nightin
gales, whom you will teach to sing." Tho
nightingales in themselves were beautiful, as
each ono was marked with it ml cross, but to
tho prince they were of great value. At tho
tlmo of tho Crusades ono of his ancestors was
imprisoned and Ids captivity was lightened
by tho singing of two tiightingules. Tho
crusader' ransom was paid; he was released
mid allowed to tako his comforters away.
Since then the race of red cross nightingales
has Uvn in tho ioseKiou of tho prince's fam
ily, but there are never more than two in
existence tit n tlmo, and tho last two were
given to Miss Thursby. Was not tins prlnca
right to consider theso Ids most precious
treasures! Harontss Althea Salvador in
Kansas City Times.
Lord In DUgrnro.
InxU Gmiivillo and Northbrooke are In
terrible disgrace bocatiw they wore no collars
at tho last lovce collars, wo mean, of their
oileiu. Wiilcj would scarcely speak to them,
und U was shocking. . . . . .. . .
HUMAN LOVE.
Thcra 1s n story told
In eastern tnts, w hen nutumn nights grow cold,
And round the fire the Mongol shepherds sit,
With gravo responses listening unto It:
Once, on the crrnuds of lib mercy tient,
Uud(!lia. the holy and benevolent,
Met a fell monster, huso and fierce of look,
Whose nv. ful voice the Mils and forests shook.
"O, son of pence!" the plant cried, "thy fate
Is scaled r.t last, and love shall yield to hate."
The unarmed liuiMlin, looking, with no trace
Of fear or ancr, Into the monster's face,
In pity r.ald. "Kvcn thee I love."
I: as he spoki the sky tall terror sank
To hand breadth size tho. huge abhorrence
shrank
Into the form and fashion of a dove,
And where tho thunder of Its rage was heard,
Circling above him si ectl sang tho bird
"Hate hath no harm fpr love." so rnn the song,
"And x?ace, unweaiioned, conquers every
wrong."
A ROOT DIGGERS' COLONY.
A Tratrler'n Queer Adventure I.lfo In
Underground Houses.
Whllo dashing furiously along I suddenly
felt myself sink into tho earth up to my arm
pits. At tho same instant I heard down in
tho ground the shriek.1! of human lieinzc
women and children. I felt hands clutch nt
my legs mid naked human lodies pressing
against them. I uttered no found I wns too
much frightened. I held my breath and
shrank within myself. Every instant I ex
pected to feel a knifo or 11 spenr thrust into
my lcdy. My feet worn on tho ground, and
without knowing what I was doing, L gavo n
strong push with my breast. Finding thnt
something was giving way, I plunged for
ward and up a steep slope of two. or three
fee', when I found myself bounding liko a
deer across tho lovel meadow with a great
contrivance of basket work suspended from
my hijis and extending a yard or more 011 nil
sides. I looked for all tho world as if I had
donned u hugo hooped skirt.
While making n momentary halt, in order
to disengage myself from tho singular ma
chine hanging upon 111c, I cast my eyes back
vnrd and saw nn old woman and three or
four naked children scrambling out of tho
hole from which I hud just mado r.iy escape.
Yelling at tho top of their voices, they dashed
away as fust as their legs would carry them,
making for tho nearest hills. By tho time I
had pushed my basket skirt down to 1:13 heels
and stepped out of it I saw n dozen or moro
black heads emerging from tho earth in my
immediate neighborhood. Seeing the shaggy
heads popping up all about me, 1 darted
away nt n paco that must truly havo nstou
ished tho natives. -Ithlukl must havo deft,
tlio village at least ilvo miles behind before I
halted. I then throw myself uixin tho ground
too much exhausted to even load my gun.
"W'us it one of their houses that you had
jumped into, untie'' here asked n small boy,
who had been listening with "all his ears."
"Yes, boy, tho roof of ono of their lints.
You sco these miserable root digging, frog
eating dovlls live in holes dug in tho ground,
just liko so many woodehucks. Thoy mako a
kind of basket work dome of witlow, which
they place over tho hole und cover with grass
mid earth by way of roof, and in hot weather
they sometimes strew this roof with green
leaves ns an additional protection from the
heat of the sun. Tho 0110 in which I plunged
wns so covered, nnd tho framework being old
mid rotten I popjied through it easily
enough." Salt Luko Tribune.
Novel Clul) In I'arls.
Wo hnvo a now club und ono of tho most
novel ever organized. It springs from tliut
insatiate desiro of Parisians for originality.
Tho motulicre of tho dub nro not more likely
to Iki congenial associates than if thoy were
selected entirely at random, for tho chief nnd
distinguishing requisition is shortsightedness.
Nevertheless tlio first dinner of tho club was
mi interesting and pleasant occasion, and as
all will continue to look upon tho affnlr iu n
more or less humorous light it may continue
to bo successful. To determine eligibility tlio
mniiugiug committee decided that n enndi
ditto must wear either spectacles, eyeglasses,
or at least 11 quizjjlass in 0110 eye. In excep
tional cases men who wore colored glasses
were admitted, but it is declared with minii
solemnity that this will not bo dono ngnin.
Tho club has not as yet u headquarters, and
it is doubtful if tho ideu will Iki carried fur
ther than a monthly dinner iu some hotel
parlors. Among tho memtiers nro many
women, and imlced one of tho vice presidents
is n lady, who is, I Iwlieve, most favorably
known 111 America Mine. Ainiu Judic. The
club is called -tho Associution of tho Short
Sighted "Dcs Myope. Paris Cor, Philadel
phia Times.
Sho Wasn't Mashed on Him.
Tlio young Indies iu a popular retail estab
lishment havo liooii joking ono of their num
ber, a pretty, curly haired brunstte, about
her seeming infatuation with a good looking
bank teller. Tho young woman in question
displayed mixiety to make tho daily deposits
at tho bank, and always on her return could
Ik; noticed in front of tho mirror. Her com
panions decided that there could bo but 0110
r:planation of such conduct, anil that tho
brunette was in love with tlio teller, and con
sulted tho mirror to ussuro herself that her
charms were not on tho wtuio. But a few
days ago tho young lady mado such it satis
factory accounting that tho joking censed ut
-iiee.
"You see, ho has short curly hair just liko
mine," she explained naively, "and ho givis
It tho most beautiful twist over tlio left ear.
I'd give iinythingif I could only get my huir
liko that, nnd I study his stylo every timo I
go to tho lumk, nud then brush initio to cor
respond us toon ns I get back to tho store,
llo's very nice, of course, but you needn't
think I'm mashed on him." Buffalo Courier.
Tlio Czar us nil Author.
The war of Hussin isaUmt to join the ranks
of royal and imperial authors. He has revised
Uis diaries for tho lust ten or fifteen years, and
lias intrusted M. Zieby, tho Hungarian paint
?r, with tho task of illustrating them. Tho
work will lie published nt St. Petersburg in
tho autumn. Before tho critics get through
with him ho will probably regret tho failure
3f tho Nihilistic plots aguiust him. Chicago
Trfkine.
Ciihan l.iulles' Head I)res.
Ill nil Ihu cities of Culia tho ladies, 110 mat
ter what their rank or means, go to tho
theatre uncovcml. A mantilla or n gossa
mer head scarf of laco is tho most that thoy
wear in their carriages or iu tho streets on
!ho way to tho play, and indoors theso pre
tenses are removed Mud ono sees them ns they
tppear in thWr parlors. It is a pity that New
forkcrs slnxild bo leas sensible than these.
Now York Sun.
An Outh With (Hows On.
It has generally lieon considered an ludls
xuisablo part of tho formality of taking an
xttlt Iu mi English court that tho witness
mould ivmovo his glove, if ho happens to
.vearoua, liefore taking tho book in his hand.
Recently a judge has had the courage to glvo
tit opinion that there was room for doubt
whether a man muy not swear a perfectly
rood oath w ith his gloves on. .
Nover put n good knifo into hot grease, as
t destroys its sharpness. Havo always at
laud a kitchen fork for turning meat or fry
ng jotatooa.
PHYSICAL STRENGTH.
THE WORK OF A YOUNG BEGIN
NER IN A GYMNASIUM.
Tho l'lrst Thing to llo Something riso
Needed Hosldcs it Hlff Hlcops-Oj t"
tlcs In Later Ufe-KlnMi with a
Until.
In these days of muscular activity a gytn
nnshini is nn interesting place even to those
vho know nothing nlont gymnastics. Hero
is a large hall, with a gallery running nroiinu
It. and filled with nil sorts of curious con
trivances for developing physical strength.
A dozen men, of ns many kind of build, aro
exercising their muscles and preparing for
tho outdoor contests of jiower nnd endtiranco
which are to tako place during tho summer.
TiiBCo.uro big men "shoving" dutnb.liclls and
llttlo men standing on their hands, uhilo men
of middle tizo pull on strange looking ma
chines composed of pulleys nnd weigliU iho
outsider wonders what all these things nro,
nud what they are for. and it may Ixj well to
satisfv his curiosity.
Tho first thing a man wants to do who
wants to 1k a gymnast is to convert his soft
flesh into tough, elastic muscle. Tho careless
observer fancies that muscle ought to bo ns
hard as wood, and ho is often misled into
fancying that tho bicejis is the chief, if not
tho only, inusclo that is useful.
a 1110 i!ici:rs.
"Oh, lool; nt his muscle," is tho common ex
clamation when a man. brings his wrist up
oward his neck and .raises a swelling lump
on tho front of his upper" hlin. Well, a big
bicepsisagood.thing; but a man who lacks
tiicejis und poctornlls major ill not do a
great deal of damago In n fight or iu a foot
ball match. Tlio Diceps is 11 pulling muscio,
nnd it happens that a man jins to push just
as hard as ho has to pull in all contests of
strength. So tho young gymnast usually be
gins with Indian clubs, which pnxlnco 11
general development of the arms, shoulders
nnd chest. At nil public gjmuastic exhibi
tions fancy club swinging is one of tho feat
ures, and somo of tlio intricate nnd graceful
evolutions that aro informed by crack club
swingers r.ro surprising. But for tlio mere
development of strength thrco or four of tho
rudimentary movements, which can bo mas
tered in an hour, nro nil that aro necessary.
Tho young gymnast usually liegins by
working too hard. It is hard to teach a man
moderation on his first day in tho gymna
sium, but on tho second day it is usually moro
difficult to persuado him to do anything nt
all. Tho first day's exercise has a telling effect
upon the. untrained muscles. By tho timo tho
young gymnast goes to bed ho begins to feel
ns if ho hail tho rheumatism in every fiber of
his body from tlio waist up, and when ic
arises in tho morning ho is so soro that every
movement causes pain. Ho is loth to mako a
single motion that is ifuneccssary, and tho
exertion of strength causes him to groan.
There is only ono thing to lo done, and that
n to go right to work again. Tho muscles nro
stiff nnd the stiffness must bo taken out. So
let tho young gymnast get his clubs nnd
swing away. After the first few moments
tho soreness will begin to decrease and will
gradually disappear. Tlio next day it will lw
just as bad as over, and must bo removed by
tho same method. In a few days it will per
manently disappear, and tho gymnast will
discover that his muscles havo already begun
to show tho effects of systematic exercise.
71IK r.RAI.LL nAns.
It will ba timo for hint to tako to tho paral
lel bare two long pieces of wood supported
by uprights ond placed sido by sido just about
as far apart as tho width of a good sized
man s shoulders. I he first thing that tho be
ginner usually does is to practice pushing up
and down. Placing his hands upon tho bare
ho supports his body nbovo them, while his
legs hang down between. Then by bending
his nrms nt tho elbows lio lowers his lody ns
far as ho can and pushes it up again by
Ktraighteuiii: his nrms. This looks simplo
enough, but it is cruel, hard work at first.
Tho beginner, however, must keep nt it till
ho can do it fifteen or twenty times. Ho
must continuo tho dub swinging, and may
add a littlo light dumb Im.41 exercise. Heavy
dumb bells should bo eschewed by nil except
thoso who nro not going in for heavy gym
nastics. Thoy aro not healthful, nnd plenty
of lino development can bo got without them.
Tho man who has to sit in an ofilco all day
can go to his gymnasium for .in hour hi tho
evening nnd get nil tho excrciso needful for
health and strength. Onco acquired, tho
ability to do gymnastic feats may bo retained
for years. Dally practice U nil that is noccs
sary. it is a mistako to supposo that a man
must givo up gymnastics when ho I as got
along to say (50 years of ago. If ho will con
tinuo topractico an hour daily ho may go on
doing good hack nnd front somersaults until
his children are old enough to take lessons
from him. And if ho cannot spare tho timo
to go to a gymnasium ho can keep up his
muscles nt home. Flvo minutes' dumb bell
excrciso liefore going to bed, a fow pushes up
and down on tho backs of two chairs by way
of parallels, mid flvo mi mites' club swinging
iu tho morning will preserve for many years
the muscles developed in tho gymnasium.
Ono thing should noVer lio neglected. If n
man wants to get the very liest possible benefit
out of his gymnastic, work, let him ulwuys
finish with it bath. Tho water should not lie
warm, nor yet quito cold, nnd tho tiblution
should bo ended with a cold shower . bath.
After that let tho gymmtst rub down hard
with a Turkish bath towl and dress himself.
Ho will leave tho gymnasium feeling i:s if ho
could whip John K Sullivan, cut 11 Texas
steer, or go around tho world on a toboggan.
Now York Times.
Morhld Mental I'henoincnn.
Tho minister of justieo of Denmark has set
an example that will lw followed by all thoso
who have tho power and who haveut tho samo
time tho truo mental and physical welfare of
tho peop'.o ut heart, iu issuing nn edict against
. jH?rnrission or public exhibitions of tho phe
nomena of hypnotism, spirituulism, so called
I animal magnetism, und similar manifesta
tion. Kvcry physician knows tho contagious
ness or infectiousness of these morbid moiital
phenomena, nnd this interdiction cannot fail
to havo n good effect. Public Opinion.
School for Newspaper Men.
An experienced journalist in Loudon has
started u school for newspaper men. Pupils
will bo instructed iu ' tho writing of ai-n-graphs,
reviewing, shorthand, sioclal corre
spondence, w ar correspondence, leaders, sub
leaders, art and dramatic criticism, tub edit
ing, editing, etc. Chicago Times.
Tho l'okor flayer to His Love,
Whene'er thy grace full liand I hold,
I needs must heave ace high.
Though bluff my manner, likewise bold,
Two iwilr.ilo not deny.
Stay In and smile upon my suit,
Chip not iny heart so ill.
Unto your ante I will scoot,
Aud toars my eyes will Mb
A flush mounts to thy queenly cheek,
I call for answers straight.
Draw near; I feci somo knavish freak
Has stacked tbo car hr of fate.
-Pleating Jok.
FRIENDSHIP.
Shall we not clasp each other's hand once more,
And hind new links to memory's golden chain?
Itevlew the past, in converse sweet agatD,
Of halcyon days and friends now gone before!
Ah' yes. I feel that tluin it b to be 1
1 never yet have said "farew ell"' to thee
Nor never will, on this terrestrial shore.
Friendship Is kin to love, and when 'tis true, .,
ItefreshlnK is to lonely hearts n dew
To drooping llov.'rs will confidence restore.
Kind words are gems that will be thine In hcav'n.
Withhold them net- up there far more Is given
'We'll fliurthe lltiRs of memory's golden uualn ,
Are still unbroken anil e'er bright remain. -
"F. K. (i." la Courier JournaL
PANTOMIME IN NAPLES.
A l'eopto AVI10 Aro Jlost I'roflclcnt In tbo
1'se of Slsn I angtinge.
The people of Naples nro most proficient in
tho uso of gesture. "Wltli what were you
most struck when in nngluudi" asked a Brit
ish subject of a Neajwlitaii. "With tho total
absence of all'antomtuiic nction in conver
sation," replied he. To watch n lecturer ad
dressing ids audience without so much ns
lifting a finger, in emphasis of his remarks,
is tho most laughable of sights to this lively
southern nice.
Such admirable mimics are tho Neapolitans
that they can' oven disjicnsoAvith'tUd'tiso of
projicr names. A twist of tlio features, a
strut, or other peculiarity of manner, and
they havo indicated an acquaintance without
using his patronymic.
Two men on opposite sides of a street in
Naples have lieen known to hold a protracted
conversation by means of signs nlono.
Numlicr 0110 pulls a face descriptive of somo
common ucquuintimeo und makes nn inter
rogative motion.
"Number two crosses ills fingers liko bars
before his faco nnd winks significantly.
Numler ono signals, "Whyf"
NumlxT two closes his fingers, with a pecu
liar motion of tho hand, laughs and proceeds
on his wny. This, being translated, reads,
"Where is so nnd so.'"'
'In prison."
"What has he lieen doingt"
'Stealing."
Familiarity with tho language of signs saves
n great ileal of timo and effort. For example,
if, in any other city, you wish to invito a
passing acquaintance to dinner, you must
stop him, and go throurii a quantity of cour
teous formality. In Naples, you may simply
rap your mouth, und intimate tho hour by
holding up tho requisite number of lingers.
A motion 0:1 his part informs you whether
your friend will necepl your hospitality. The
following nro somo of the most common signs
and gestures in uso:
An outward wavo of tho hand signifies
"adieu;'' an inward, "come;'' a downward,
"stop!"' Tho thumb pointed backward says
"look;" put to tho lips, with a slight toss of
tho head, it means dunking; passed across
tho forehead, us though wiping away perspi
ration, fatigue. Tho index linger drawir
across tho mouth denotes anger: across tho
clenched teeth, defianc?; rapping tho closed
lingers ngaissst tho Hps, eating' passing tho
extended index and thumb iu front of tho
mouth, hunger; twisting tho ond of tho mus
tache, "Isn't it good to eatf" n backward wavo
of tho hand beneath tho chin, and n simul
taneous tos3 of tho head, "Not at any price!''
It is infinitely amusing to sit nttho window
and watch Neapolitans in tlio street; if their
conversation is nt all animated, 0110 can easily
follow it by tho uso of tho eyes alone.
Youth's Companion.
A Chicago Paper's Trlcl.-.
Ono of tho best April fool tricks to bo found
among tho yellow and dusty files of tho local
ncwspapeis wns that played by Tho Evening
Journal in lf.VJ. That was boforo Tho Jour
nal grow its patria-cha'. bcaid and ubolishod
its solar announcement nt tho head of its local
column. On thu evening of March SI Tha
Journal camo out witli .tho nnnouncomcnt
that a noted uthlete, who was then stopping
nt tho Trcmont house, would climb tho spiro
of tlio old "Speckled" church at !! o'clock tho
following afternoon. Tho "Speckled'' church
used to stand oil tho corner of Wabash av
enuo and Washington street. It derived its
peculiar naino from tho mottled surfaco of
tlio stones in its walls and foundation. Tho
spiro of tho church towered 'J50 feet nbovo
tlio ground and was capped by a big, gilded
ball.
Tho athlete, according to Tho Journal's
story, was to sit upon this nplicre after hav
ing completed his ascent. Chicago was not
much of a town in thoso days, and such a
startling announcement ns that, which ap
peared iu Tlio Journal created great excite
ment. The 1st of April broke cold and raw.
with plenty of mud under foot and a canopy
of heavy, leaden clouds overhead. By -noon
fully ."i.OOO persons stood thivering in thoopeii
space about tho church nud ut 2 o'clock, tho
timo advertised for the performance, twr
thirds of the town's population wero huddled
together nbout tho no".hboring blocks and
buildings. Hour after l our passed with 110
signs of the steeple climber. Tlio crowd grow
impatient and cold. Just as tho sun was
about to go down somebody announced that
ho thought Tho Journal was playing nn April
fool trick. This suspicion coon fastened itself
iu tho heads of nil thoso present, and for two
hours after nightfall tlio alleys mid sido
streets wero filled with persons who were en
gaged in tho purticulnr act of "skulking
homo." This was The Journal's fii-st and
only joke. Chicago Hcreld.
White IIoi".o Spoils.
"There is another," sn'd 0110 of tho door
keepers nt tho Whito lleuss ono day not long
ago. "What's that:" as.-' some one who was
standing nenr by. "r by, n cigar fiend,"
wns tho reply. "Sco tha' man going off there,"
and ho jiointcd to u veiy respoetablo looking
man walking away pu'"ug nt a half smoked
cigar. "Wo havo ieg'.''''.r customers here
men who make it a p'"-tice to come to tho
Whito House ouco or l'''-o a day and pick up
stumps of cigars threw)! on tho porch or
walk leading to tho hot's'. Cabinet days nro
their chief days, and when Congress is in
sossion they livo high. ' hey know that cabi
net officers and seuatni- tmoko good cignrs
and often they havo jiff lighted ono lefore
reaching tho house nnd threw it away. You
would lio surprised to !-now"tho men wlio
coino here daily to pi 1: up theso cast off
si limps robins I believe the nctors call them.
Tho Whito House, you know, is tho place
where all tho prominent men of tho country,
in town, visit. Theso men invariably sinokj
good cignrs, nnd it is a picnic for tho 'robin
hunters.' Watch tho porch some duy and see
for yourself. Baltimore Bun.
Willing to Tuko tho ItUk Now.
First gentleman (entc !ng the ajiartnient of
second gentleman) Ah 't a year ago you
challenged mo to fight a 'uel?
Second gentleman Is''- 'ily) I did, sir.
First'O. And I told yni I had just bem
married, and I did not care to risk my llfo Jk
any such hazard.
Second G. (haughtily) I remember, sir.
First U. tbittoiiyi V. n'i, my feelings have
undergone a change: ar; timo you want to
fight let 1110 know. Bon jour. Paris Figarc
No monoy Is better ruit than what Ls laid
out for domestic satisfaction. A nnn is
pleased thnt his wife il dressed .U3 well 03
other iople, and a wife is pleased that she is
dressed. JoUnsou.