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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 12, 1885)
At twil'clit, vl8-a v s w tli fair,
She sal, unhappy nnd nlot.e;
Ucr milestones tiuitibcrril fortv-clslit,
No other pathway crossed her own.
Ko tender voice robbed ago of gloom,
No oinlHtijr faces cliCurcU htr slirlit
Tbcro only glided through tic rooii
Tbo pli&ntom of a dead delight.
"How dim nnd drenr the pathway eccmj,"
She said, "to nis at fortj-e'gul;
Long since I wakened from my d teams
I seek for naught; for nothing wult.
"I am like one who blindly gropes
Toward fading sunsets In tho West;
Behind me lie youths shattered hoper,
What can I ask for now but rest J
"Some Joys I sought with heart on flro
Would find me now but all too laic
I watched ambltlons.funeral pyre
Burn down ere I was .forty-eight
"With naught to hope, expect or win,
This lonely lot lcinalus to me;
To count the wrecks or what 'has been'
And kuow that nothing more can be."
Too sad to weep, loo tired to pray,
Alone she sal at forty-eight.
While sunset colors pale J to gray
How desolate, how dcsolatcl
Ma Whtfhr Wilcox.
Atmion op "journey, to Tim cnNTnn
OP THE KAItTII," "TIIIP TO Till: MOON,"
."AltOIJND TIIK WOlt&D IN KIOIITY
DAYS," "MIOHAKn BTUOOOl'l',"
"TWUNTV THOUSAND I.UAOUES
UNDIUl TUB b5A," ETC., ETC.
Tit A N8 1. ATI 0 N COl'VltiailTItn, 1833.
At Trieste "society " is nearly non
existent. Between different races us
botweon castes, i. is seldom found. Tho
Austrian ollleialsnssunio tho highestposi
tion, and tnko precedence according to
thoir rospcotivo ranks. Generally thoso
inon are distinguished, well educated nnd
well meaning ; but their pay is so Binitll
lor their position that they are unable
to enter into comuotition with tho trad
ingandbankingdasscs. Theso latter, us
ontertainmonts are raro among tho rich,
nnd tho parties givon by tho olllcials tiro
nearly all unambitious, havo taken to
display most of their wealth in outsido
show in tho streets by thoir sumptuous
carringca, nnd at tho theatre b' tho ox
trnvagnnco of their dross and jewelry.
Among those opulent familicB that of
Silas Toronthal held a distinguished
llio head of tho house, whoso erodit
extended far boyond tho limits of
Aufltrodlungary, was then in hislhirty
soventh your. Willi Mine. Toronthal,
who was sovcral years his junior, ho
occupied a mansion in tho Aequodotto.
flo was supposed to bo very rich and
ho should havo boon. Hold and fortius
nto speculations on tho Stock Ex
change, a largo business with tho Aus
trian Lloyds and other oxtensivo com
panies and tho issuing of sovoral impor
tant loans had, or ought to havo, brought
hugo.siuns of money into his coffers.
nenoo uis nousonotu was conducted ou
i scale of considorablosplondor.
Novortheless, us Saroany had said to
Zirono, thero was a possibility that tho
affairs of Silas Toronthal wero slightly
ombarrassed at least for n time.
Seven years boforc, when tho funds
wore shaken by tho Franco-Italian war,
ho had reeoived a severe blow, and moro
recently tho disastrous campaign which
ended at Sudawa had sent down tho
pricoson ovory Exchange in Europe,
moro especially on those of Austria
Hungary, and chiefly those of Vienna,
Vanih Mid Trieste. Tho necossity of
providing tho largo amounts thon drawn
out ou tho current accounts not im
probably caused him serious incon
Ctouieuou But when tho crisis had
passed ho doubtless loeovored himself,
Mid if what Sareany had said was cor
rect it must havo been his recent spoon,
latioiis only which had led him into
During tho Inst fow months a great
change hud como over Toronthal. His
whole look had altered without his
knowledge. Ho was not, as formerly,
master of himself, Pcoplo had noticed
that ho no longer looked them in tho
face, us had been his custom, but rather
pyod thum askance. This had not es
caped tho notice of Mmo. Toronthal, a
confirmed invalid, without energy, and
tubmissiveness itself, who know very
little about his business matters.
And if some disaster did menaoo
Toronthal, it must bo admitted that ho
would get very little sympathy. Ho
had many customers, but few friends.
Tho high opinion ho held about his posi
tion, his native vanity, tho airs ho
gave hiinsolf onfall occasions, had not
Uouo him any good. Aud above all tho
people of Trieste looked upon him as a
foreigner because ho was horn at Hagusa,
and hence was a Dalmatian. No family
ties attached him to tho town to which
ho had como llfteen years before to lay
the foundation of hit fort una
Such, then, was tho position of Tor
onthul's bank. Although Sareany had
his suspicions, nothing had occurred to
give rino toa rumor thut it was iu diffi
culties. Its credit remained unshaken.
And Count Sundorf, after realizing his
investments, had deposited with it a
considerable sum-on condition that it
should always bo available ut twenty
four hours' notice.
It may seem surprising that n con
nootion of any sort should huvo lieon
formed between a bank of fuoli high
roputatiou uud Bitch ft very dubious
character as Sareany. It had existed,
nevertheless, for two or throo yours.
Torouthnl had had a good deal of bind
no;wiUi tho ltegenoy of Tripoli, and
Saroany Imd bou employed mi n kind of
broker Knd genwal confidential gfjeut,
on trust cil with tho disposal of certain
wine and other gifts under circum
stnneoi in which it was not nlways de
sirable that the Trie.sto banker should
appear in person. .Having been engaged
in these and other rather suspicious
schemes, Saroiny got his foot, or rather
his hand, into the bank ; nnd continued
to carry on a sort of system of extortion
on Toronthal, who was not, however,
nuito at his mercy ; masinucii as no
niatcrinl proof existed of thoir mutual
dealings. But a banker's position
ono of extrcmo delicacy, a worn may
min him. And Sareany knew how to
take advantage of this.
Hut Toronthal Knew what ho was
about Ho had parted with certain
sums, which had been dissipated in tho
rambling houses with tho recklessness
of an adventurer who takes no though
of tho future, and then Sareany becom
inir too unfortunate, tho banker sud
denly drew his purse-strhigsond refused
further credit. Sareany threatened
Toronthal remained lirm. Anil no was
safe in doing so, after all, for Sareany
had no proofs, and no ono would believe
This was tho reason that Sareany and
Jus comrade, Zirone, found themselves
at tho end of their resources, and with
out oven tho wherewithal to leave tho
town and seek their fortune clsowhcre.
And wo know how Toronthal cuino to
their help with stiillcient funds to enable
them to return to Sicily, where Zirono
belonood to ono of tho secret societies.
Tho banker thus hoped to get rid of tho
Tripolitan, nnd hoped never to seo or
hear of him again. Ho was doomed to
disappointment in this, ns in most other
It was on tho evening of tho 18th of
May that tho 200 florins had reached tho
adventurers at their hotel.
Six days afterwards, on tho2lth of tho
samo month, Saroiny presented himself
at tho bank and demanded to eco Silas
Toronthal, and so much did ho insist
that ho was at length leceived.
Tim banker was in his pnvato ofllco,
and Sareany carefully closed tho door
as soon as ho had been introduced.
"You again !' exclaimed Toronthal.
" What aro you doing here ? I sent you,
nnd for tho last time, quite enough to
help you to leave Triesto 1 You will get
nothing moro from mo, whatever you
may say or do ! Why havo you not
gone? I'll take steps to put n. htoppor
on you for tho future 1 What do you
Sareany received tho broadsido very
.coolly. Ho was qui to prepared for it.
His altitudo was what it had always
been of lato in his visits to tho banker
insolent and provoking.
Not only was ho masler of himself,
but ho was quite serious, lie had stepped
up to a chair, without being invited to
sit down, and waited until tho banker's
bad temper had evaporated before ho
"Well, why don't you speak?" con
tinued Toronthal, who, after hurriedly
binding to aud fro. had sat down.
"I'm wailing till you aro calm," re
plied Sareany, very quietly; "and I'll
wail as long as is necessary."
"What does it mattor whether I nm
calm ? For tho last time, what do you
"Silas Toronthal," answered Sareany,
"I havo a little business to proposo to
"I do not want to talk business to
you 1" exclaimed tho banker. "There
is nothing in common between you and
me, and lonly expect to hear that you
aro oil' from Trieste to-day forovor."
"I expect to leave Trieste," answered
Sareany, "but! do not like to go until
1 have repaid you what I owo 1"
"You repay mo ? you ?"
"Yes, repay you interest, capital,
without saying anything of tho"
Toronthal shrugged his shoulders nt
this unexpected proposition.
"Tho sums 1 havo advanced," ho
said, "are charged to profit aud loss and
aro written oil" I 1 consider wo aro clear.
1 want nothing from you, audi am above
" And if it pleases mo to remain your
"And if it pleases mo to remain your
Then Toronthal and Sareany looked
nt each other, and thon Sareany with u
shrug of his shoulders continued :
" These aro only phrases, and thero h
nothing in phrases. I repeat, I como
to bring you some very important busi
ness." "Aud suspicious business, too, I daro
" Well, it is not tho Hint titno that you
havo como to mo"
" Words, nothing but words," said tho
"Listen," said Sareany. "I will bo
"And you had better."
"If what I am going to toll you docs
uot suit you, say bo, uud I'll go."
"From hero or from Trieste?"
"From hero and from Triesto."
"This evening 1"
"Speak, thenl" ,
"Well, then, this is it," said Sareany.
"Hut," added he, looking around,
"you aro sure no ono can hear us ?"
"You would like our interview to bo
secret, then V" asked tho bankor ironi
cally. " Yes, Silas Toronthal, for you and I
hold iu our hands tho lives of important
"You do, perhaps. I do uot 1"
" Well, then, see. I am on tho track
of a conspiracy. Whnt its object is I do
not yet kuow. Hut after what has hap
pened on tho plains of Ioinburdy, after
the business at Sadowa, all that is not
Austrian is against Austria. And I
havo some reason to think that a move
ment is on foot in favor of Hungary by
which wo can profit,"
Toronthal, as his only reply, eou.
tented himself with saying;
"1 havo nothing to got out of your
Hut how V"
"Hy denouncing it I"
Aud Sareany told him of all that had
UprP-f10 Ui tho.oJd cemetery, pf tho
carrier pigeon, of tho intercepted mes
sago of which ho had taken a fac-similo
and of how ho had found out tho bird's
destination. Ho added that for livo
days ho nnd Zirono had been watching
tho houso ; how tho samo people met
thero every night, not without great
piccautions ; of other pigeons that had
gono away, and others that had como ;
of how tho houso was guarded by nn old
servant, who carefully inspected all who
approached; of how Sareany nnd his
companion had been obliged to act with
circumspection to ovado tho attention of
this old man, and ofjhow, during tho
last fow days, ho had raised suspicions.
Toronthal began to listen moro atten
tively to what Sareany told him. no
'asked himself if it wero true, and what
gain ho could get out of it When tho
story was told, when Sareany for tho
last timo affirmed that thero was h con
spiracy against tho Stato and that some
thing could bo mado out of revealing its
existence, tho banker asked tho follow
"Whero is tho house?"
"No. 89 Avenue do Acquedotta."
"To whom does it belong?"
"To aHungarian gentleman."
"What is tho Hungarian gentleman'-s
'Count Ladislas Zathmar."
'And who aro tho pcoplo that visit
"Two chicflv; two of Hungarian
"Ono is ?"
" A professor of this town, llis namo
is Stophon Hathory."
"Tho other is-?"
" Count Mathias Sandorf."
Toronthal mado a start of surprise,
which did not escapo Sareany. IIo had
easily found tho throo names by follow
ing JJathory to tho Uorsa Stadion and
Sandorf to tho notel Dolorino.
"You see, Toronthal," continued Sar
cany, - incso nvo tno names x navo no
Hesitation in giving you. xou seo X am
not playing with you."
"All that is very vagno ! replied tho
banker, who evidently wished to know
moro beforo committing himself.
Vaguo ?" said Sareany.
Yes I To begin with, you havo no
"And what is this then ?"
Tho copy of tho messago was placed in
JLorontliala hands. Tho banker ox
nmincd it, not without curiosity. But
its cryptographic words gavo no sign of
sense to lnm, and thero was nothing to
provo that they wero of tho importanco
that Sareany asserted. If ho had any
interest in the affair it was merely so far
as it affected his customer, Count San
dorf, aud with him nothing could occur
to make him uneasy, unless it camo to
pass that ho desired to draw out at short
uotico tho funds deposited in tho bank.
"Well," said ho at length, "my
opinion btillis that it is very vaguo."
"Nothing seems clearor to me, on tho
contrary," answered Sareany, whom tho
banker's attitude iu no way dismayed.
" Havo you been able to decipher this
"No, but I kuow how to do so when
tho timo comes."
" And how ?"
"I havo had somothing to do with
such matters before," said Sareany,
"and a good many ciphered despatches
havo passed through my hands. From
a careful examination of that ono I seo
that its key docs not depend on a num
ber or a conventional alphabet which
attributes to a letter a different mean
ing to its real meaning. In this letter
an a is an s, a p is a p; but tho letters
aro arranged iu a certain order, which
order can bo discovered by a grating."
Sareany, as wo know, was right. That
was tho system that had been used for
tho correspondence. Wo also know that
it was tho most indecipherable ono that
could bo found.
"Ho it so," said tho bankor, "I do
not deny but what you aro right; but
without tho grating you cannot read tho
"And Low will you got tho grating?"
"I do not know yet," answered Sar
eany; " nut rest assured J. shall get it.
"Hoally! Well, if I wero in your
place, Sareany, I should give myself u
good deal of troublo to do so I"
I shall take tho trouble that is nec
"To what end? I should content
myself with going to tho police and
handing them tho messago."
"I will do so, "replied Sareany, coldly,
but not with thoso siniplo presump
tions. What I want beforo I speak aro
material, undeniablo proofs. 1 intend
to become master of this conspiracy
yesl absoluto master of it, to gain ad
vantages from which I ask you to share 1
Aud who knows even if it may not bo
better to join tho conspirators iusteud of
taking part against them?
Such languago did not astonish Tor
onthal. Ho well kuow of what Sareany
was capable. Hut if Sareany did not
hesitate to speak in this way, it was
bocauso he, too, know of what Toron
thal was capable His conscienco was
olastio enough for anything. Sareany
know him of old, and suspected that tho
bank had boon in dillloutios for some
timo, so that this conspiracy, surprised,
betrayed and mado tiso of, might come
to its aid. Such was Sarcany's idea.
Toronthal, on tho other hand, was
seeking to join in with his old broker.
That thero did exist some conspiracy
against tho Austrian Government, nnd
that bareauy hud discovered tho con
spirators, ho was inclined to admit.
This houso of liadislas Zathmar, with
tho secret meetings, this ciphered cor
respondence, tho enormous sum hold at
call by Sandorf all began to look very
suspicious. Very likely Sareauy was
right. Hut tho banker was anxious to do
the best he could for himself aud souud
the matter to tho bottom and would not
yet give in. So ho oontonted himself
with saying ;
"And when you havo dooiphorod tho
loiter if you over do you will llnd it
only refers to privato affairs of no impor
tance, nnd consequently there will bo uo
protlt for you or mo 1"
"No I" said Sareany, iu n tono of tho
doopost conviction. "No 1 I am on tho
track of a serious conspiracy, conducted
by men of lugli rank, uud I add, SLLvi
Toronthal, that you doubt it no more
than I do."
"Well, what do you want?" asked tho
Sareany ro30, nnd, in n lower tone,
looking straight at Toronthal, roplied :
"What I want is this : I want admis
sion to Count Zathmar's house, on somo i
. lit 1 . - . -m- '
pretext yet to oo louiui, so that JL can
gain his coufidouce. Onco there, whero
nobody knows me, I shall got hold of tho
gratingand decipher this despatch, which
1 can then mako uso of to further our
" Our interests ? why do you want to
mix mo up m tho affair?
"Because it is woll worth tho troublo,
and you will gam something out of it"
"And could not you do that by your
" No 1 I havo need of your help."
"To attain my end I want time, and
wlnlo I am waiting I want monoy,
"Your credit is exhausted here, yon
"Woll, you will open another."
" What good will that do to mo?"
"This. Of tho thrco men I havo
spoken to you about two aro poor
Zathmar and Professor Hathory but
(ho third is immensely rich. Ilis pos
sessions in Transylvania aro considerable.
You kuow that if ho is arrested as a con
spirator and found guilty his goods will
be confiscated and tho greatest part of
them will go to thoso who discovered
nnd denounced tho conspiracy 1 You
and I, Silas Toronthal, wo go shares 1"
Sareany was silent Tho banker mado
no answer. IIo was thinking if it wero
worth whilo to join in tho gamo. IIo
was not tho man to personally compro
mise himself in an affair of this nature;
but ho felt that his agent would bo man
enough to act for both. If ho decided
to join in tho schomo ho know woll how
to mako a treaty that would hold his
man at his mercy and enable him to re
main in tho dark. IIo hesitated for nil
that. Good 1 To got all, what did ho
risk ? Ho need not appear in this odious
affair, and ho would reap tho profit
enormous profit, which would get tho
bank on a sound footing again.
"Well?" asked Sareauy.
"Woll? No!" nnswered Toronthal,
frightened at having such an associate,
or to uso tho proper word, such au ac
"lou rofuso ?"
"Yes I rcf uso besides I do notbo-
liovo in tho success of your schemes."
"Tnko care, Toronthal," said Sareany
in a threatening tone, which ho could
"Tnko caro? Aud of vhat if you
" Of what I know of certain transac
" Clear out 1" answered Toronthal.
"I shall know how to compel you "
At that moment thero camo a gentlo
knock at tho door. As Sareany quickly
stopped to tho window tho door opened,
and tho messenger said in a loud voico :
"Count Sandorf will bo glad if Mr.
Toronthal will givo him a fow moments'
Then ho retired.
" Count Sandorf?" oxclaimod Sareany.
Tho banker was anything but pleased
for Sareany to know of this visit. And
ho also foresaw that considerable dilll-
culties would result from tho Count's
And what does Count Sandorf do
hero?" asked Sareany, ironically. "You,
then, havo something to do with tho con
spirators at Count Zathmar's ! In fact,
I havo been talking to ono of them !"
Again, I tell you to go."
I shall not go, Toronthal, and I
shall find out why Count Sandorf comes
to your banking houso !"
rVnu ho stopped into a cupboard lead
ing out of tho olfico and shut tho door.
Toronthal was about to call and havo
him turned out, but ho thought bettor
No !" ho muttered; "after all, it is
better Sareany should hear all that goes
Tho banker rang for tho messenger
nnd requested him to admit tho Count.
Sandorf entered tho oflice, replied
coldly, as was his wont, to tho obsequi
ous iuquiries of tho bankor and seated
himself in a chair which Toronthal
1 did not know, Count, that you wero
in Triesto, sothatyou call unexpectedly ;
but it is always an honor for tho bank to
reccivo a visit from you."
"Sir," replied tho Count, "I nm ono
of your least important customers, and
never have much business, ns you
know. Hut I havo to thank you for
having taken chargo of tho money that
I have with you."
Count" observed Toronthal, "I
would remind you that that money is on
current account hore, nnd that you aro
losing all interest for it"
"1 kuow." replied Sandorf. "Hut I
do not wish to mako nn investment with
your houso ; it is left simply on doposit"
Quito so, Count, but monoy is dear
just now, nnd it does not seem right that
j-ours should remain uuproductivo. A
financial crisis threatens to oxtouu over
tho wholo country. Tho position is not
nn easy ono in the interior. Business is
paralyzed. Many important failures
havo shaken publio credit, and I am
fraid others nro coming"
Hut your houso sir, is safo enough,"
said Sandorf, " and on very good nu-
thonty I know that it iu(a been but littlo
affected by those failures."
" Oh, very little, ' answered Toron
thal, with tho greatest oalmnoss. " The
Adrintio trade keops us going with n
constant Hood of maritime business that
is wanting to tho lVsth and Vienua
houses, nnd wo havo only been very
slightly touched by tho crisis. Wo havo
nothing to complain of, Count, aud wo
do not complain."
"lean only congratulato you, sir,
answored Saudorf. "By-tho-by, with
ejrard to this crisis, is thero any talk of
political complications in tho iuterior ?"
Although bamtorl had nsKou tuo ques-
tiou without appearing to attach any
importanco to it, Toronthal regarded it
with rather moro attention. It agreed
so well iu fact, with what ho had just
heard from Suroiuy.
"I do not know of anything," said tha
banker. "And I havo not heard thai
tho Austrian Government has any ap
prehension on tho subject. Have you,
Count, any reason to supposo that somo
"Not at all," replied Sandorf, "but
in banking circles things nro frequently
known which tho publio does not hear
of till afterwards. That is why I asked
you tho question, leaving it to you to
answer or not as you felt inclined."
"I havo heard nothing in that way,"
said Toronthal," and besides with n
customer liko 3-011, Count, I should not
think it right to remain silent if I know
anything, as your interests might suf
fer." "I nm much obliged to you,"
nnswered Sandorf; and, liko you, I do
not think thero is much to fear either in
homo or foreign matters. I nm soon
going to leavo Triesto on urgent privuto
offuirs for Transylvania."
"Oh, you aro away ?" asked Toronthal
"l'es, in a fortnight, or perhaps
" And you will return to Triesto ?"
"I do not think so," nnswered San
dorf. " But beforo I go I want to got
my accounts in order referring to tho
Castlo of Aronak, which aro standing
over. I havo received from my stoward
a quantity of notes, farm rents and
forest revenues nnd T havo not timo to
check them. Do you know of any no
countant, or could you sparo ono of
your clerks, to do it for mo ?"
"I should bo much obliged."
"When shall I send him to you,
" As soon as possible."
" To what address?"
"To my friend's. Count Zathmar.
whoso houso is 80, on tho Acquedotta."
"It shall bo done, Count."
"It will tako ten days or moro. I
should think; nnd when tho accounts aro
in order I will leavo for Artonak. I shall
bo glad, therefore, if you will havo tho
money ready, so that lean draw."
Toronthal at this request could not
restrain a slight movement, which, how
over, was unnoticed by Sandorf.
"What dato do you wish to draw?"
" Tho eighth of next month."
"Tho money shall bo ready."
And Count Sandorf rose, and tho
banker accompanied him to the door of
When Toronthal re-entered his office
ho found Sareany, who grcoted him
"Beforo two days nro over it is neces
sary that 1 get admission to Count
Zathmar's houso in tho character of
And Toronthal answered:
"It is indeed necessary."
TO I)E CO.VTrXUEI). 1
"Economy Js Wealth."
Several traveling men wcrostopp'ng
at a hotel in Colorado recently, and
ono morning at breakfast 0110 of lliein
thought ho recognized an old friend
in tho picco of beefsteak brought him
a friend "though lost to sight to
memory dear;1' in other words ho
surmised that for economy's sake tho
Ilonifaco was a repeater, and returned
tho samo pieces of succulent ox that
woro sent back to tho kitchen some
times for being too raro or too well
done, as tho caso might bo. Com
municating his suspicious to his com
panions, they resolved to mako a
practical test; so ono of them fired his
piece of steak well with red peppor
and sent it back by a waiter, as being
altogether too woll done. "Bring 1110
a pieco of steak raro done, with no
gravy," said ho, "and don't bo all
(lay about it."
Presently a freight conductor camo
iu and look a seat at the same table.
His order was "beefsteak woll dono
with plenty of gravy, no seasoning,
and hurry up your stumps." Tno
traveling men nudged each other when
tho engineer's breakfast promptly ap
pointed, for tho steak looked suspici
ously liko tho "doctored" piece, and
so proved to be. The conductor saw
ed oil a section, placed if iu his mouth
and sot his masticating machinery iu
motion, rresently a loolc ot alarm
overspread his foiitures, tears camo in
his oyos, ho lowered his head, and
vigorously lirod the mouthful under
the table, then rinsed his mouth and
exclaimed: "Hy tho Great iloru
Spoons! what kind of a cook havo thoy
got at thisshobang?" And seeing tho
saffron-colored laco of ttio Chinoso
griddlo-ereasor at tho chuck-holo, ho
stabbed tho soction of leathery and
highly seasoned meat with his fork
and throw it with considerable pre
cision at tho aforesaid tuco and yolled:
"Hero, you hoathen, tako that and
save it for hash. And if you critters
in there don't send 1110 out a good,
juicy piece, vell ilono.no seasoning,
inside of live niinutos I'll run into you
with a full hoad of steam on iinil
throttlo wido opon. You hear me."1
Thou tho commercial tourists roared
and explained thoir littlo gamo, and
whop all had received what thoy want
ed nnd harmony reigned, they ad
journed to tho bar and tho conductor
told thorn to "nominato thoir pizen."
Both Wero Sale.
"Yes," oxclahnod tho old printer,
"I fought through tho whole war, and
novor reecivod a scratch.
"SodidI," rouiarked tho restauraut
"Hut I fought behind fortifications,"
continued tho old printer.
"So did 1," rcpliod tho rostaurant
"1 lay bohlnd ono of your sandwiches
which muskotry could uot penetrate,"
said tho old printer.
"And 1 was safo from artillery," ro
tortod tho restauraut man.
"Laid behind two of your sandwicho
1 supposo," responded tho old priutor,
"Not niuoh," replied tho restaurant
ninn. A printing-olllco towel was
stretched nlong our front" Newiiuu.
Whnt Hanging is Like
From tho Pnll Mall Gazette.
The following nccount of the sensa
tions of hanging is sent by a corre
spondent who is nnicmberofnkind of
"Suicide Club," nnd wns nctttnlly, ho
3.iys, partly hung tho other day, in
tho presence of several friends:
A good stout rope hud been ob
tained. This wns sectirely'fnstened to
rafters of the barn roof. I pulled at
the rope with my hands to make euro
that it would not break. Then I per
mitted myself to bo blindfolded mid
mounted on a chnir. For a moment,
I admit, I wns weak enough to turn
pale nnd tremble. I soon, however,
recovered my presence of mind. Put
ting my head throush tho noose, I
gavo thosigiml. I felt the chnirdrnwn
from under me. Thero was ft great
jerk and I felt a violent pain in my
neck, as though my scarf had all of a
sudden become too tight. Now comes
tho most curious part of my experi
ence. After the first feeling of torture,
which I admit was decidedly severe, I
lost consciousness. I seenicd to bo
transported into a new world, moro
beautiful than anything hungmed by
the poets. I wns swimming, me
thought, in a sea of oil. The feeling
was exqusitely delicious. As I swam
easily nnd without effort through tho
liquid mass I noticed afar off an is
land of tho most glorious emernkl
green in color. This it was my wish
to reach. I swam lazily and content
edly on. The sea kept evcrv instant
changing its hue, though it remained
of tho samo substance throughout.
At one instant it wns a mass of gold,
ns though tho sun were shining brill
iantly on it. The next moment it
wns a vivid blood-red; but thero was
nothing terrible or disgusting in this
new color. It kept changing, in fact,
to all the hues of tho rainbow, yellow
and red being the predominant tints.
I got nearer and nearer to the isle. As
Iapprouched it there sprung out sud
denly from tho ground a number of
pcoplo strangely transfigured, whoso
faces seemed to bo known to me I at
last reached tho land. A magnificent
chorus of voices, human and thoso of
birds, burst forth. I closed my eyes in
ecstasy. I floated calmly 011 to tho
shore, and lay as a child in its
cradle, slightly weakened from, as I
supposed, the enervating effect of tho
oily matter in which I had been swim
ming. At last I opened my eyes. The
magic charm was at onco dispelled.
Tho divino harmony ceased. The faces
wero still peering nt 1110 with an ex
pression of eager curiosity, but I per
ceived that they belonged to members
of our society. " The pain in my neck
was great. I was now in entire pos
session of my senses. My friends liad
fortunately cut 1110 down in time. I
was still weak too weak to at onco
relievo my friends' curiosity. When I
was able to speak I told them my ex
periences. Though 1 drew a charming
picture of tho bliss which 1 had felt,
not one of them would consent to try
my experiment. They nil considered
my conduct heroic, but absolutely re
fused to emulate me. They said I
looked so ghastly.
Starvation Salaries for Clergy
Clerical starvation is littlo loss than
a literal met in the J'rotostant Epis
copal church, according to tho asser
tion of the Church Press, which argues
that when a man has been duly or
dained to tho cure of souls ho is enti
tled to an adequate support for him
self and family from the bishoj) by
whom he has been set apart, anil
from the parish in which ho toils. Tho
editor tells of a clergyman who was
induced to relinquish a mercantile po
sition worth $1,000 a year.and during
ten years of ministerial lilo lias
never received more than $500 a
year, and now ho has a wife and four
children; vet ho is strongly endorsed
by his bishop and approved by his
parishes. Another caso taken ns an
examplo is that ot a man earnest and
devoted to tho work, a, good reader
and a fair preacher. He has a wifo
and six children, lie is promised $500
a year, and furnishes his own house.
In point of fact ho received last year
less than $100 salary, llobas parish
ioners now at summer resorts who
havo not contributed ono dimo to
their minister's support.
A Funeral "Wreath.
"Adenconin a Western town recent
ly died"says tho New York Comercial
Advertiser. "His pastor soon paida
visit of condolence to the bereaved wid
ow. She asked the minister if he would
like to soothe funeral wreath. He as
sented. Sho led him to the much
prized memento and pointed out its
peculiarities. In a broken voice she
said: 'Tho red llowers were mado of
his red flannels; tho white ones of his
white ilannels. Tho stamens were
made of tho coffin shavings nnd tho
pistils of his beard. Tho borries and
buds wero mndo of tho pills that wero
left when ho died, and tho feathery
part wns mado of tho feathers of tho
last chicken ibar James killed beforo
he wns taken ill.' All this she said
without a pause for breath, and end
ed her Ghastly description of tho
treasured wreath by imploring tho
bewildered clergyman to lead in pray
A Itcmnrlcubio Clock.
There is a clock at Brussels which
comes about as near boing perpet
ual motion as can beinvonted, foi tha
sun does tho winding. A shaft ex
posed to the solar rays causes an up
draught of air which t-ets a fun in mo
tion. Tho fan actuates mechanism
which rnisos the weight of tho clock
until it reaches tho top, and then puts
a break on the fan until tho weight
lins gono down a little, when the inn
is again liberated and proceedes to act
as before. As long as tho sun shines
frequently enough and tho machinery
does not "wear out, tho clock is prac
tically a perpetual motion machine. .