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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 29, 1901)
4 FAMOUS SPINDLE TOP HEIGHTSIN THE BEAUMONT, TEX4S, OIL FIELDS. T .TTPTT fYC TFT R QT 'RHP ?ff ! flel1. vd those reptile were found to quarry a short distance from the gar dens behind the house. They are not OCCASIONALLY A LATE COMER ACQUIRES FAME, Spindle Top Heights is the name given to the location of the first of the great gushing wells of petroleum that hare made Beaumont, Texas, famous. The first well at 10:30 a. m., Jan. 10, 1901, suddenly shot out a great volume of water, sand rocks gag and oil, breaking the derrick and hurling fragments for hundreds of feet. , It was nine days before the flow could be controlled. It soon changed to be a great Jet of crude oil of purest quality, going to waste at the rate of 70 000 barrels daily. Since that time Beaumont, then a small Texas town, has become a city of 20,000 inhabit ants and the number of gushers in its vicinity has increased to nearly 60, with more in prospect. The 60 Beaumont gushers are capable of producing in ten days as much oil as the wells of West Virginia, Cali fornia Indiana and Ohio have in the last fifty years. . The actual cost of producing this oil la one-fifth of a cent per barrel' while the ability of the producers to handle it cannot be crippled by hostile combinations of capital, because of the proximity of the field to the deep water ports of the Gulf of Mexico. ASTERS. Walled in with fire on either hand I walk the lonely wood-road tnro ; The maples flame above my head. And spaces whence the wind has snea About my feet the living red, Are filled with broken blue. And crowding close along the way The purple asters blossom free; In full profusion far and wide, They fill the path on every side. In loose confusion multiplied To endless harmony! The autumn wood the aster knows. The emDtv nest the wind that grieves. The sunlight breaking thro' the shade. The squirrel chattering overhead, The timid rabbit's lighter tread Among the rustling leaves. And still beside the shadowy glen She holds the color of the skies; Along the purpling wayside steep She hangs her fringes passing deep, And meadows drowned in happy sleep Are lit by starry eyes! Vick's Magazine. "There's Many a Slip." i LEN ECHO possessed a fascina (ftlon for Eleanor Wade which waa hard to resist, and every opportunity which afforded Itself fonnd her either on her way to that beauti ful little park, or seated npon a rustic bench in some secluded nood. Usually she had a book or magazine with her, but it would often lie for hours en tirely neglected upon the seat, while her gaze was fixed upon the magical and ever changing hues of the Virgin- la hills on the opposite side of the Po tomac Elver. To Eleanor, this spot was far more beautiful than any cultivated park In BHK NOTIOED A BEAUTIFCTL CLUSTER. Or FLOWERS. the world. Here Nature asserted her rights to the full, and where Art play ed a part. It was only to enhance tBe beauty of the wonderfully picturesque scenery. There were pretty rustic bridges over the narrow chasms; there were artistic stairways built down the steep sides of the cliffs, and Innumer able benches and chairs of fantastic shapes were placed in delightfully cool and shady nooks, or out upon ledges of rock, overhanging deep ravines. To one of the latter Eleanor always came, and If she found It already oc cupied, he; disappointment was keen. That particular seat ("our bench," they had called It), was sacred to the mem ory of many hours of happiness, and to-day the young girl's thoughts dwelt lovingly upon them. She remembered a thousand and one little incidents; trivial events, of no Importance at the time, but now, delightful to look back upon. The future without Hal Bur ton loomed np before her blankly. Her eyes filled with tears; and there was a pain in her heart which she found It impossible to assuage. It was in vain that she tried to be come interested In the beauty of the scene before her. Down at the foot of the steep banks, she saw the boats passing up and down the sluggish canal. Then she looked beyond, over the pretty little wooded island, where the roof of the Pleasure Club house could be seen between the trees, to the many rocks in the river, around which the waters of the Potomac eddied and -whirled unceasingly, making a picture far too difficult for the brush of mortal man. "Ah, yes, Hal could paint that water!" Eleanor declared mentally, Among her most highly prized trea sures was a sketch of the river and glimpse of the Virginia hills, which Hal had been making on the day her party had accidentally come upon him in this very spot. It was here he bad been introduced to her; here, some time ., later, he bad asked her to be his wife. Here it was, she promised, and then had followed those many delightful months. To-day -the thoughts of the - unhappy girl continually drifted back over the hours, oh, such happy times, spent In thes woods and the Chautau qua grounds adjoining, where she and her lover wandered like two children, finding "tongues in trees, books In running brooks, sermons In stones, and good In everything." . Alas! It was here they had quarrel ed; what It had all been about the girl could scarcely remember. Both were . foolshlly quick, both proud. To who was at fault Eleanor now gave no thought; she wonld have taken the blame and asked forgiveness for her hasty words, fault or no fault, if he ' had but come to her; but he did j not, and she could not seek him. Not long afterward she had gone abroad with her parents, and when she re turned to Washington, it was only to learn that Hal had left the city. She caught her breath sharply and pressed her hand against her heart as if to quiet its violent throbbing, when a sudden thought ' flashed Into her mind. Perhaps he did not care; per haps his was merely a fancy. No, no! She felt that he had suffered, too, for he loved her; of that she was con vinced, and as she sat thinking of the happy past and the dreary future with out him, she vowed to herself that if she ever saw him again she would speak to him and explain, even if he did not come to her. But where was he? Would she ever see him again ever have an opportunity to explain? Sitting thus dejectedly, she allowed her eyes to wander restlessly from ob ject to object, scarcely heeding what she saw, until, on the opposite side of the narrow ravine, over which the ledge of rock projected, she noticed a beautiful cluster of early autumn flow ers. They ' seemed almost within reach, and she decided to gather them as a souvenir of this visit to Glen Echo. 'Perhaps it would be the last, for each succeeding visit only served to make her more lonely than before. Then, beside, "Autumn, ' laying here and there a fiery finger on the leaves," told only too plainly of approaching winter, when this loved spot would be robbed of many of Its beauties. -- Stepping from the rock, Eleanor climbed up a lew feet and steadying herself by clutching the ferns and bushes at her side, reached out over the narrow space toward Ihe coveted blossoms. Closing ber hand around them, she gave a quick jerk to pull them from the stem, but at that in stant the moss covered stone noon which her weight rested moved slight ly, and she felt herself slipping down the bank. She frantically clutched some bushes growing directly before her, but in her eagerness caught them too near the tops, and the branches slipped through her fingers, leaving only the leaves in her hand. . . A second attempt caused her to lose her balance altogether, and she half slipped, half rolled, some '"distance down the bank, carrying with her. In the descent, a shower of dirt and small stones. An Instant later she found her self sitting upon a ledge of rock jut ting out from the hillside, upon which was a bench similar to the one upon which she had been seated. : ' Making no attempt to rise, Eleanor leaned back against the. bench, unde cided whether to laugh or cry,' and thinking how ridiculous she must ap pear, and thankful. Indeed, that no one had witnessed her undienifled fnll She was shaken and breathless, but uninjured, and she laughed as '. she thought how fortunate It was Hal was not with her this time.- She was star tled by a slight exclamation: thn came a hurried footstep, and a voice said: . . v. "Are you hurt? Let me assist you." Instinctively Eleanor drew her feet toward her sideways, smoothing out ner ssirt witn one hand, while with the other she tried to put back ' her hair, which had become loosened hv the fall. - Again the voice SDoke. "Tell me are you hurt?" ' The girl glanced up quickly, then. with a surprised little "oh!" covered her crimson face with both hands. As she turned toward the speaker - he sprang back, exclaiming, - "Eleanor!" and the next Instant was on his knees at her side. . ; - With one arm about her, he gently took her hands away from her face, and kissed away the tears of humilia tion which started Into the blue eyes. Eleanor, my darling, what has hap pened?" asked the young man, as he raised the girl and put her upon the bench, still keeping his arm about her. I wanted a flower which was a little above 'our bench' and I fell from the ledge above," she answered. : You fell from the ledge above," he repeated, glancing upward, then at the dark ravine below. He shuddered and The Majority of the World's Distinc tions Are Snared Between the First ui Second Bona, the Lion's Share Going to the Firet-Born. drew the girl closer to him. "Eleanor, sweetheart, I have been the most wretched man in the whole world for many months.' I would have come to beg you to forgive my thoughtless words long ago, but I did not know where you were. 1 went abroad solely for the purpose of finding you, but I missed your, party continually. At last I heard you were at home, so 1 came back to Washington at once, arriving only this morning. I Intended calling upon. you this evening. To-day, when I came here and found our bench oc cupied, I was greatly disappointed, and was coming down to this seat to wait until the other was Vacant And just think, sweetheart, it was you all the time!";; : - " 'Yes, Hal," Eleanor said. "As I sat there I made up my mind to go to you, and explain away our little misun derstanding if ever I had the oppor tunity; but really I did not Intend to throw myself at your head In this fashion," she added, with a smile. "Well," he oaid, with mock gravity, "your ' coming to explain was rather sudden and' entirely unexpected, but since you are not hurt," he continued, tenderly, "I bless the fortunate slip that brought you back to me." : Both laughed happily, and the young man said earnestly: "I did not expect to find my sweet heart here, at Glen Echo, where we first met Eleanor, dear, let us go and be married in' the little chapel in the Chautauqua . Park now to-day. -I cannot run the risk of again losinsg yOU." - "No, no," Hal," ' protested Eleanor, "not : to-day but a month from to day." Waverley. - - Her Reference. One servant girl on Long Island has a reference that should readily secure her employment if she ever decides to leave her present position. But she won't decide to leave, If the family sh now works for can help it r r One afternoon a few days ago when her master was in the city and her mis tress was visiting neighbors, a" man called' and asked for the lady of the house. .v When the maid told him she was out he seemed greatly disappointed: It's' really very Important" he ex plained. "Could you get me paper and a pencil? I'd like to leave a note." v 'Certainly," said the - maid. She stepped out on the stoop and rang the front door belL The cook came to the door. : ' - - . - - 'Paper, an envelope and a pencil for this gentleman." said the maid. The man wrote his note and sealed it After telling the maid to be sure to see that her mistress got it the minute she returned he left That evening, when the woman of the house had read the note and heard the circumstances under which it was delivered, she smiled and handed it to her maid. "Jane," she said, ."you may" keep this. ' It may do as a reference some time." - - This is what the man had written: "Dear Madam: - Your maid Is --. no fooL" New York Sun. Not Customary. One morning- I told an old colored man who lived near that our school had grown so large that it would be necessary for us to use the henhouse for school purposes, and that I wanted him the next day to help me give it a thorough cleaning. He replied In the most earnest : manner: "What you mean, boss? You sholy" ain't gwine clean out de henhouse in de day time?" From Booker T. Washington's "Up from Slavery." The law is by no means alone In fa voring the first bora of a family and comparatively neglecting later comers, for a careful examination of the biog raphies of our most eminent men will prove that quite a preponderating num ber of them owe their fame largely to the fact that they made their entry Into the world in advance of : their brothers and sisters, says London Tit Bits. ; " ' - To such an extent does this appear to be the case that'll a dozen names of distinguished men are taken at ran dom, tt would be quite safe to assert that four of them (or possibly five) -are first sons; of the remainder three are second sons, while younger sons, rang ing from number three downward, must be content with dividing the small amount of celebrity among them. Occasionally a very late comer ac quires fame, but the odds are ' all against him. Thus, Benjamin Frank lin, the great natural philosopher and politician, had no fewer than thirteen brothers and sisters In front of him. Sir Richard Arkwright, the famous In ventor, was the thirteenth child of his parents, and Sir Joshua Reynolds was number seven in his family.. But by far the majority of the world's distinctions are shared between first and second sons, the lion's share going to the first born. . Fame In the world of letters has gone in quite undue proportions to the eldest born. If we may take Dante, Goethe, Shakspeare and Milton as the four greatest names in the history of the world's literature we shall find that all fourwith the exception of Shakspeare the greatest, it is true, of them all- were eldest sons. . This privilege of the first born is claimed for Shelley and Byron and Heine, and In modern times, to mention names without regard to relative mer it by Buskin, Max Muller, Lecky, Prof. Jebb, Sir Lewis Morris, Frederick Har rison, Sir John Lubbock, Sir George Trevelyan, Mr. Plnero and others far too numerous to mention. . Confucius and Mohammed, Talley rand, Rossini, : Charlemagne, Luther and Raphael were all eldest sons; as also are such eminent statesmen of to day as Mr. A. J. Balfour, Mr. Cham berlain, Mr. Broderick, Lords Rose- bery and Goschen and Mr. John Mor- ley. r:.;c!.';: : Among the great soldiers we have Lord Wolseley and "Lord Kitchener; among lawyers Sir Francis Jeune and Sir Edward Clarke; In the church, the late Bishop of London, and on the stage Sir Henry Irving. " - Of famous second sons the list is dis tinguished if comparatively short, for we find such giants of the past as Michael Angelo ; and Beethoven; the Pope, Garibaldi and Pascal; Wallace and Sheridan; John Wesley and Mon taigne.;. Of famous statesmen of our own time we have Sir William Ha'r- court and Mr. Asquith; as well as Lord Salisbury, to mention only three names. : - The list of second sons contains a great soldier in Sir Redvers Buller, an eminent Judge In Lord Alverstone, still better known as Sir Richard Webster; a clever actor In Mr. Beerbohm Tree; an artist in Mr. Phil May, and men of letters in Grant Allen and Sir Edwin Arnold: , ; . Nor are the third sons by any means to be despised in point of quality, al though the number is relatively, very small. - ' They Include the greatest soldier of modern times, the Duke of Wellington; the greatest author of any time, Shak speare, and the most famous fiction writer of the last century. Sir Walter Scott :i: -:- ":: ". - - '., Voltaire was a third son, and so were C, 3. Fox, the famous statesman and orator. Lord Lytton and ' Sir Robert Walpole, while Lord Halsbury has proved that a third son can fill with aistinction the highest place in the law, and the late Sir Walter Besant that he can win laurels in the field of letters. the kind of visitors timid people would welcome, although, whether big or lit tle, they are perfectly harmless, and the only serious objection to them is that when disturbed they are apt to emit an ill-smelling fluid. The adder, however, says the London Standard, has teeth fitted with poison glands and is really dangerous. It does not use these to secure its ordinary food, but only if the prey is larger than usual, or in self-defense, as for instance, if It Is trodden on. The ven om is frequently fatal to dogs, not sel dom to sheep, and it his been known to kill a bullock. The cause of death In such cases is failure of the heart, but if .that is averted rather severe local blood poisoning may ensue. Grown persons do not often die from the ef fects of a bite, though a few such cases are on record; but the poison causes considerable suffering, and re covery may not be complete for some weeks. With children the danger is, of course, greater. "The bright day brings forth , the adder that craves wary walking." It is smaller than the ringed snake, for Its length seldom ex ceeds a couple of feet . Jokes and Jokelete that Are Sappoeed to Have Been Recently Born-Sayinsa and Doing that Are Old, Cnrione and IjangnaMj The Week'a Hanon " There is encouragement, if not poet ry, in the following rrom a Georgia singer: . , "' , I struggled up the mountain. But fell to earth, ker-fiopl said in pain, Til try again," . And finally reached the topi Atlanta Constitution. ----- WHY HOWARD DIDN'T DROWN. Experience of an Old-Time Reporter - in a Shawneetown Flood. I remember a story about Phocian Howard," says Senator Mason, "which has never been printed, and which have always thought good. . The city of Shawnee town was undergoing its pe riodical inundation from the floods of the Ohio River, and Phocian Howard was sent down by a Chicago paper to write up the calamity. This is the story as Phocian tells it: I found everything under water, and I hired a one-legged, stuttering boatman to row me over the town. We got along all right until we came to the cemetery. Then, In trying to read the inscription on a monument I leaned over so far that I lost my balance and tumbled Into the water. Down I went and came up again, and struggled to reach the boat - I could not swim lick, and the boat was out of reach. saw the boatman waving his wooden leg and struggling to say something. I went down again, thinking to myself. "Here I am, a first-class man in a sec ond-class town, drowning in a third- class graveyard. Too bad." I came up again, still out of reach of the boat knew that I was sure to drown if weut down again, so I made a desper ate struggle. The boatman was still flourishing his wooden leg and wig gling his mouth, trying to say some thing.1 This was kept up till just as I was going down again, when he broke the puckering string and shouted: "St-st-st-stand up." I stood up and found that the water came about to my waist' " . - - OUfi BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. Neatly Trapped. She They used to say marriage was a lottery, but Uncle Sam doesn't seem to look at it In that way. He Why? She He doesn't bar It from the malls. Then there was absolutely nothing left for him but to propose. Chicago Record-Herald. They Had It. Towne Do I understand you to say that Spender's case was really a faith I cure? Browne Yes. You see, the doctor and the druggist both trusted him. Philadelphia Press. Ont in Kansas. Visitor Only one mattress In the house? Why, what am I to sleep on?. Child Oh, maw is going to make one soon. . Visitor How long will that be? Child Just until paw can have his whiskers cut Chicago News.' Hie Courtety. "So you won't chop the wood?" "I'm afraid,' replied Meandering Mike, "dat de exercise would start an appetite dat 'ud trespass on your hos pitality." Washington Star. Life's Little Frtctiosa. "Are you getting ready for winter?" "Oh, yes; we've had our last scrap with the ice man and have begun to quarrel with the coal man." Detroit Free Press. Good Advice. His Occupation Gone. 'Dis'Stralian ballot system hei te- totally rulnt me," said the colored campaigner. "How Is that?" "I wuz de champion voter In the county !" Atlanta Constitution. "I've a deuced headache, old chap." "Why don't you have it filled?" Conldn't Sell to Him. "I have my opinion of you," sarcas tically remarked the lawyer. "Well, you can keep it" hotly retort ed the client "The last one I had of you cost me $5." Philadelphia Record. The Infant History Clas. "What did the Greeks row their gal leys with? First little boy." "Brooms." " " "' . "Brooms! Doesn t the lesson say that it was sweeps?" "Ain't them brooms?" Cleveland Plain Dealer. An Acknowledgment. "A man sometimes attaches a great deal of importance to himself," re marked Mr. Meekton's wife. "Yes," answered Leonidas, with a Chesterfieldian air, "especially when he gets married." Washington Star. Proof. Mr. Crimsonbeak Do you believe the world is getting better? . Mrs. Crimsonbeak I certainly do. "What makes you think so?" : "Well, here's a paragraph in this pa per which says the postal receipts this year will reach $111,000,000. In 1890 they were only 60,000,000." "What's that got to do with it?" "A good deal. It shows that there are fewer husbands now who forget to mall their wives' letters." Yonkers Statesman. ' . He Knew That. Father What! You've resigned your job? Son Yes, sir; it was too hard. "Too hard, eh? Don't you know that no Job is perfectly easy?" 'Yes, sir; that's why I want no job." Philadelphia Record. Tbe Reason. GOULD MET THE TIGER. Britons Growing Taller. It is affirmed that no nation Is In creasing so rapidly. -in height and weight as the British. -In fifty years the average height has risen from 8 ft VA in. to 5 ft 8& Ins. The average height of the criminal class is but 5 ft 5 4-5 .ins. -. . ... . .. Ever remark that if a man can sing a little, he doesn't keep a job very long? ' ' .- - ;. LET THIS BE A WARNING. GREAT BRITAIN'S SNAKES Only Three Kinds in the Islands and One Is Poisonous. - Only three kinds are generally recog nized in the British : islands the smooth 'snake, the ringed snake and the adder.; Ireland, Indeed, has always claimed, by favor of St Patrick, to be free from these reptiles, though last autumn: two specimens of the ringed snake were actually found In County Wicklow. Probably they had been Im ported, and as they were killed, the sainfs ban, after all, may have driven them to their doom. t , - ; ':- Of the three British species, one, the smooth snake, named , by . zoologists coronella austriaca, is rare.' In fact, it was not observed until 1853 and has seldom been found except in Hampr shire, Dorset and Surrey, perhaps most frequently In the Bournemouth " dis trict jWhen full grown It Is about a couple of feet long and might at the first glance be thought an adder.- The ringed snake is less likely to suffer from mistaken Identity, for its mark ings and general tints do not resemble those of the latter. Indeed, it deserves encouragement since it has been known to swallow an adder, 'though mice and voles, water newts, frogs and toads, with the eggs and - young of birds, form Its usual diet It is the largest of our snakes, for specimens a yard long are not uncommon, and a giant of its kind, measuring five feet eight inches, was once captured in the New forest In September .of last year a house at Cefncaeau, near Llanelly, was said to be suffering from a plague of snakes.-. The-story has been care fully Investigated. - . ' - In one house no fewer than twenty- two were found, which, however, were all small. But very soon there would have been many more, for in an old back wall from which they had been seen to issue about 1,200 eggs were r ... discovered, each containing a young . ringed snake just ready for hatching. I The hunt was then, carried further Eon Croker's Little Tiff with the Cap italist and the Resnlt. The Manhattan Elevated Railroad Company into which were merged in 1879 both the New York and the Met ropolitan elevated railroads, says R. R. Bowker in the Atlantic; enjoyed many facilities through a good understand ing with "the powers that be,"-' until its president George J. Gould, declin ed to concede to Richard Croker for his Auto-Truck Company the privilege of laying pneumatic tubes along the elevated structure. . . A picturesque account of an inter view between Mr. Gould and Mr. Cro ker was made public, and" a simulta neous and concentrated cross-fire from the city authorities upon the company began. The park commissioners noti fied the company to remove Its struc ture from Battery park; the health de partment discovered that the supports were in an unsafe and dangerous con dition; and ordinances proposed in the municipal assembly required the com pany to inclose its stations in glass and place drfp- pans under its struc ture, to operate trains on five-minute headway throughout the twenty-four hours,- under $100 penalty for - each omission, and to give up its revenues from newspaper stands and advertis ing. v: r-: --; --., ; , ;i -.;- A renewal of friendly relations avert ed the threatened dangers; but effec tive notice was given to otner com panies of the treatment to be expected in case they failed to conform with the desires of the ruling powers. ' -V Symbolic The Cheerful Idiot I notice our land lady is up on football. . The Gloomy Sage How so? The Cheerful Idiot Why, she serves her pie in "hollow wedges." Brooklyn Eagle.; - , All Actors Want Tt. 'There's a man out in the waiting room, - said the great man's Secretary. "I think he's a bum actor." "Why do you think so?" "He says he's anxious to get an audi ence. Philadelphia Press. . Cow Sported False Tail. A cow with a false tail figured the other day in a suit for damages -before Aid.' William A. Means, and because the tall was bogus the suit was with drawn arid the costs were paid by the prosecutor. Charles Campbell,, of Mohler street entered suit against Henry Meller, of Wheeler street for damages 'alleged to have been caused by the ravages in Campbell's garden by a cow, which was saja by-neighbors to belong to Meller. .. It. was Campbell's own cow, but he did not recognize it without the tall. The case was to have come to a hearing one morning, but at the ap pointed hour Campbell appeared, with drew the suit and paid the costs. " He then explained -.the : reason to Aid. Means. Early in the week Campbell bought a cow from John McGuire, who, -he said, lives in Frankstown road. : - He brought the cow home and turned her loose in his garden, but was astonished Thursday morning to find what appear ed to be a strange cow in his patch. The animal had no tail. - He was told by some neighbors that the animal be longed to Meller, and the Bame morn ing he entered suit before Aid. Means. He also chasetl the cow out: When he refnrned to ficrure Ud the extent nt .Tom- age done in his garden he found ' a Tertian Stage. Edith Why did you break off your engagement with Mr. Goodheart? Blanche Oh, he got Into that state that he'd rather sit at home and hold my hand than take me to a theater. do why widows . ' Never Made tbe Kffort. Muggins Do you believe that a wom an can't keep a secret? ; Buggins I don't know. I don't be lieve a woman ever tried. Philadelphia Record. . '-- .-- . , - "Pa, ing?" "To let men know they are single again." - That May Be It. , - H unker Why is the Horse Show so popular with the girls? , Spatts It Is so suggestive of bridals. Philadelphia North-American. f- An Attractive Field. First Politician It seems that Porto Rico has no bonded or floating debt Second Politician You don't say so? Porto Rico has" a great future before it!-Puek. .. ,- - - ' ' The Proper Thing. Why She Complains. 'She finds fault with her husband's salary, they say." "Yes, she says It Isn't like her father used to make." Philadelphia Bulletin. A Tip in Time He Do you know, I am fixing to fall in love with you? She Well, be careful. The man I marry will have to be pretty well fixed. Smart Set Carte Blanche. i His Daughter-4- can't go therewith- out a chaperon. Mr. Struckoyle Well, you get it,, whatever it is, and let 'em send me the: I bill. Brooklyn Life. In the Bake Shop. "Dear me," sighed the bread dough, "I would like a raise." "AH right" said the yeast cake. "wait a minute and I'll set you to work." Philadelphia Bulletin. "Say, Billy, it ain't de proper ting f wear a coat like dat wid a silk hat." . "I know it ain't Jimmie; but some body's got to set de style, ain't dey ?' A N atural Inference. "Her first name is Lily." - - "Good gracious! - Is she as fat as all that?" Harper's Bazar. 1 Finds Us Ont When fortune knocks at our door we are too often over at our neighbor's tell ing hard luck stories. Philadelphia Record. la Great Lack. "So you went hunting?" "Yes." - "Have any luck?" . "Some. I didn't get shot by any of the other people who were hunting with me." Washington Star. . " Ftrtctly Clamlcal. "Yas, indeed, Mistah -Thompson is very musical. He's Jest jined de new drum corps dat dey've orgumized down to , de Hollow." Cleveland' Plain Dealer. - Wonld Rather Lose than Win. He had bet on the race and won. "Baw Jove!" he said as he looked at the money; "ye know I'm sorry about that" '-' : "What's the matter?" he was asked. "Why, cahn't y" see," he asked, "that when a fellah bets and loses it's a gen tleman's sport, but when he bets and wins it's too much like business, don't y know." Chicago Post - 'n the Tear 2000k 1 First Citizen It's a shame that these airship companies haven't more re gard for public comfort Second Citizen Yes, indeed! They should at least put on more airships during the rush hours. Puck..; ..... Conldn't We Hii Choliy So you think I am too slow for any use? She Yes. You don't even make the cow's tail with bits of rawhide stick- other young men JealousySmart Set ing to it This and other information convinced Campbell that the cow was the one he had bought andr which had switcnea on ner tail. -pr tnls reason he - withdrew r the . suit Pittsbunr Chronicle-Telegraph. -. ' . - a - "Mighty Loans. Since 1815 the Rothschild family has raised for Great Britain $1,000,000,000, for Austria $250,000,000, Germany $200,000,000, - Italy $300,000,000, and large sume for other countries. All by Himself. "Mr. Johnsing, yo'. play classical music?" -. '-. ?"No, sah, I don't play In no class; I plays solos." Brooklyn Life. Conldn't Be Expected. Howell No, I won't give you a cent I gave you a nickel yesterday. Beggar I know you did, sir, but I find it's simply impossible to live on less than two and one-half cents a day. I'm broke again. Philadelphia Record. Heavy Rainfall. It is the greatest rainfall in the world which pours down In torrents npon the southern sides of the Khasl Hills, in Assam. No wonder that their southern slopes are fertile. The rains begins in June, and last through August and Sep tember. Israel Savory writes of these rains in "A Sportswoman in India:" At Cherra Punjl S23 inches of rain fall annually... The yearly rainfall In London is about two feet; at Cherra Punji it is forty feet or enough to float the largest man-of-war; while in one year sixty-seven feet of water once fell frm the sky. " When the rains set in we had thun der-storms on a large scale.' We, in the Innocence of tbe uninitiated, began by trying to time a peal of thunder, but when it had lasted over half an hour, gave It up. ' Storms were on all sides. one long-rolling peal crashing and vi brating among the distant mountains for hours. , " 'J.' " ' - In this town there is a mother who is very proud of her daughter, but the ! daughter is always saying to her Inti mate friends that her home folks ax mighty tacky.