4 FAMOUS SPINDLE TOP HEIGHTSIN THE BEAUMONT, TEX4S, OIL FIELDS.
T .TTPTT fYC TFT R QT 'RHP ?ff ! flel1. vd those reptile were found to
quarry a short distance from the gar
dens behind the house. They are not
OCCASIONALLY A LATE COMER
ACQUIRES FAME,
Spindle Top Heights is the name given to the location of the first of the great gushing wells of petroleum that hare
made Beaumont, Texas, famous. The first well at 10:30 a. m., Jan. 10, 1901, suddenly shot out a great volume of water,
sand rocks gag and oil, breaking the derrick and hurling fragments for hundreds of feet. , It was nine days before
the flow could be controlled. It soon changed to be a great Jet of crude oil of purest quality, going to waste at the rate
of 70 000 barrels daily. Since that time Beaumont, then a small Texas town, has become a city of 20,000 inhabit
ants and the number of gushers in its vicinity has increased to nearly 60, with more in prospect.
The 60 Beaumont gushers are capable of producing in ten days as much oil as the wells of West Virginia, Cali
fornia Indiana and Ohio have in the last fifty years. . The actual cost of producing this oil la one-fifth of a cent per
barrel' while the ability of the producers to handle it cannot be crippled by hostile combinations of capital, because of
the proximity of the field to the deep water ports of the Gulf of Mexico.
ASTERS.
Walled in with fire on either hand
I walk the lonely wood-road tnro ;
The maples flame above my head.
And spaces whence the wind has snea
About my feet the living red,
Are filled with broken blue.
And crowding close along the way
The purple asters blossom free;
In full profusion far and wide,
They fill the path on every side.
In loose confusion multiplied
To endless harmony!
The autumn wood the aster knows.
The emDtv nest the wind that grieves.
The sunlight breaking thro' the shade.
The squirrel chattering overhead,
The timid rabbit's lighter tread
Among the rustling leaves.
And still beside the shadowy glen
She holds the color of the skies;
Along the purpling wayside steep
She hangs her fringes passing deep,
And meadows drowned in happy sleep
Are lit by starry eyes!
Vick's Magazine.
"There's Many a Slip." i
LEN ECHO possessed a fascina
(ftlon for Eleanor Wade which
waa hard to resist, and every
opportunity which afforded Itself fonnd
her either on her way to that beauti
ful little park, or seated npon a rustic
bench in some secluded nood. Usually
she had a book or magazine with her,
but it would often lie for hours en
tirely neglected upon the seat, while
her gaze was fixed upon the magical
and ever changing hues of the Virgin-
la hills on the opposite side of the Po
tomac Elver.
To Eleanor, this spot was far more
beautiful than any cultivated park In
BHK NOTIOED A BEAUTIFCTL CLUSTER.
Or FLOWERS.
the world. Here Nature asserted her
rights to the full, and where Art play
ed a part. It was only to enhance tBe
beauty of the wonderfully picturesque
scenery. There were pretty rustic
bridges over the narrow chasms; there
were artistic stairways built down the
steep sides of the cliffs, and Innumer
able benches and chairs of fantastic
shapes were placed in delightfully cool
and shady nooks, or out upon ledges
of rock, overhanging deep ravines.
To one of the latter Eleanor always
came, and If she found It already oc
cupied, he; disappointment was keen.
That particular seat ("our bench," they
had called It), was sacred to the mem
ory of many hours of happiness, and
to-day the young girl's thoughts dwelt
lovingly upon them. She remembered
a thousand and one little incidents;
trivial events, of no Importance at the
time, but now, delightful to look back
upon. The future without Hal Bur
ton loomed np before her blankly. Her
eyes filled with tears; and there was a
pain in her heart which she found It
impossible to assuage.
It was in vain that she tried to be
come interested In the beauty of the
scene before her. Down at the foot of
the steep banks, she saw the boats
passing up and down the sluggish
canal. Then she looked beyond, over
the pretty little wooded island, where
the roof of the Pleasure Club house
could be seen between the trees, to the
many rocks in the river, around which
the waters of the Potomac eddied and
-whirled unceasingly, making a picture
far too difficult for the brush of mortal
man.
"Ah, yes, Hal could paint that
water!" Eleanor declared mentally,
Among her most highly prized trea
sures was a sketch of the river and
glimpse of the Virginia hills, which
Hal had been making on the day her
party had accidentally come upon him
in this very spot. It was here he bad
been introduced to her; here, some time
., later, he bad asked her to be his wife.
Here it was, she promised, and then
had followed those many delightful
months. To-day -the thoughts of the
- unhappy girl continually drifted back
over the hours, oh, such happy times,
spent In thes woods and the Chautau
qua grounds adjoining, where she and
her lover wandered like two children,
finding "tongues in trees, books In
running brooks, sermons In stones, and
good In everything." .
Alas! It was here they had quarrel
ed; what It had all been about the girl
could scarcely remember. Both were
. foolshlly quick, both proud. To who
was at fault Eleanor now gave no
thought; she wonld have taken the
blame and asked forgiveness for her
hasty words, fault or no fault, if he '
had but come to her; but he did j
not, and she could not seek him. Not
long afterward she had gone abroad
with her parents, and when she re
turned to Washington, it was only to
learn that Hal had left the city.
She caught her breath sharply and
pressed her hand against her heart as
if to quiet its violent throbbing, when
a sudden thought ' flashed Into her
mind. Perhaps he did not care; per
haps his was merely a fancy. No, no!
She felt that he had suffered, too, for
he loved her; of that she was con
vinced, and as she sat thinking of the
happy past and the dreary future with
out him, she vowed to herself that if
she ever saw him again she would
speak to him and explain, even if he
did not come to her. But where was
he? Would she ever see him again
ever have an opportunity to explain?
Sitting thus dejectedly, she allowed
her eyes to wander restlessly from ob
ject to object, scarcely heeding what
she saw, until, on the opposite side of
the narrow ravine, over which the
ledge of rock projected, she noticed a
beautiful cluster of early autumn flow
ers. They ' seemed almost within
reach, and she decided to gather them
as a souvenir of this visit to Glen
Echo. 'Perhaps it would be the last,
for each succeeding visit only served
to make her more lonely than before.
Then, beside, "Autumn, ' laying here
and there a fiery finger on the leaves,"
told only too plainly of approaching
winter, when this loved spot would be
robbed of many of Its beauties. --
Stepping from the rock, Eleanor
climbed up a lew feet and steadying
herself by clutching the ferns and
bushes at her side, reached out over
the narrow space toward Ihe coveted
blossoms. Closing ber hand around
them, she gave a quick jerk to pull
them from the stem, but at that in
stant the moss covered stone noon
which her weight rested moved slight
ly, and she felt herself slipping down
the bank. She frantically clutched
some bushes growing directly before
her, but in her eagerness caught them
too near the tops, and the branches
slipped through her fingers, leaving
only the leaves in her hand. . .
A second attempt caused her to lose
her balance altogether, and she half
slipped, half rolled, some '"distance
down the bank, carrying with her. In
the descent, a shower of dirt and small
stones. An Instant later she found her
self sitting upon a ledge of rock jut
ting out from the hillside, upon which
was a bench similar to the one upon
which she had been seated. : '
Making no attempt to rise, Eleanor
leaned back against the. bench, unde
cided whether to laugh or cry,' and
thinking how ridiculous she must ap
pear, and thankful. Indeed, that no one
had witnessed her undienifled fnll
She was shaken and breathless, but
uninjured, and she laughed as '. she
thought how fortunate It was Hal was
not with her this time.- She was star
tled by a slight exclamation: thn
came a hurried footstep, and a voice
said: . . v.
"Are you hurt? Let me assist you."
Instinctively Eleanor drew her feet
toward her sideways, smoothing out
ner ssirt witn one hand, while with
the other she tried to put back ' her
hair, which had become loosened hv
the fall. - Again the voice SDoke.
"Tell me are you hurt?" '
The girl glanced up quickly, then.
with a surprised little "oh!" covered
her crimson face with both hands. As
she turned toward the speaker - he
sprang back, exclaiming, - "Eleanor!"
and the next Instant was on his knees
at her side. . ; -
With one arm about her, he gently
took her hands away from her face,
and kissed away the tears of humilia
tion which started Into the blue eyes.
Eleanor, my darling, what has hap
pened?" asked the young man, as he
raised the girl and put her upon the
bench, still keeping his arm about her.
I wanted a flower which was a little
above 'our bench' and I fell from the
ledge above," she answered. :
You fell from the ledge above," he
repeated, glancing upward, then at the
dark ravine below. He shuddered and
The Majority of the World's Distinc
tions Are Snared Between the First
ui Second Bona, the Lion's Share
Going to the Firet-Born.
drew the girl closer to him. "Eleanor,
sweetheart, I have been the most
wretched man in the whole world for
many months.' I would have come to
beg you to forgive my thoughtless
words long ago, but I did not know
where you were. 1 went abroad solely
for the purpose of finding you, but I
missed your, party continually. At last
I heard you were at home, so 1 came
back to Washington at once, arriving
only this morning. I Intended calling
upon. you this evening. To-day, when
I came here and found our bench oc
cupied, I was greatly disappointed, and
was coming down to this seat to wait
until the other was Vacant And just
think, sweetheart, it was you all the
time!";; : - "
'Yes, Hal," Eleanor said. "As I sat
there I made up my mind to go to you,
and explain away our little misun
derstanding if ever I had the oppor
tunity; but really I did not Intend to
throw myself at your head In this
fashion," she added, with a smile.
"Well," he oaid, with mock gravity,
"your ' coming to explain was rather
sudden and' entirely unexpected, but
since you are not hurt," he continued,
tenderly, "I bless the fortunate slip
that brought you back to me."
: Both laughed happily, and the young
man said earnestly:
"I did not expect to find my sweet
heart here, at Glen Echo, where we
first met Eleanor, dear, let us go and
be married in' the little chapel in the
Chautauqua . Park now to-day. -I
cannot run the risk of again losinsg
yOU." -
"No, no," Hal," ' protested Eleanor,
"not : to-day but a month from to
day." Waverley. - -
Her Reference.
One servant girl on Long Island has
a reference that should readily secure
her employment if she ever decides to
leave her present position. But she
won't decide to leave, If the family sh
now works for can help it r r
One afternoon a few days ago when
her master was in the city and her mis
tress was visiting neighbors, a" man
called' and asked for the lady of the
house. .v When the maid told him she
was out he seemed greatly disappointed:
It's' really very Important" he ex
plained. "Could you get me paper and
a pencil? I'd like to leave a note." v
'Certainly," said the - maid. She
stepped out on the stoop and rang the
front door belL The cook came to the
door. : ' - - . - -
'Paper, an envelope and a pencil for
this gentleman." said the maid.
The man wrote his note and sealed it
After telling the maid to be sure to see
that her mistress got it the minute she
returned he left That evening, when
the woman of the house had read the
note and heard the circumstances under
which it was delivered, she smiled and
handed it to her maid.
"Jane," she said, ."you may" keep
this. ' It may do as a reference some
time." - -
This is what the man had written:
"Dear Madam: - Your maid Is --. no
fooL" New York Sun.
Not Customary.
One morning- I told an old colored
man who lived near that our school
had grown so large that it would be
necessary for us to use the henhouse
for school purposes, and that I wanted
him the next day to help me give it a
thorough cleaning. He replied In the
most earnest : manner: "What you
mean, boss? You sholy" ain't gwine
clean out de henhouse in de day
time?" From Booker T. Washington's
"Up from Slavery."
The law is by no means alone In fa
voring the first bora of a family and
comparatively neglecting later comers,
for a careful examination of the biog
raphies of our most eminent men will
prove that quite a preponderating num
ber of them owe their fame largely to
the fact that they made their entry
Into the world in advance of : their
brothers and sisters, says London Tit
Bits. ; " ' -
To such an extent does this appear
to be the case that'll a dozen names
of distinguished men are taken at ran
dom, tt would be quite safe to assert
that four of them (or possibly five) -are
first sons; of the remainder three are
second sons, while younger sons, rang
ing from number three downward, must
be content with dividing the small
amount of celebrity among them.
Occasionally a very late comer ac
quires fame, but the odds are ' all
against him. Thus, Benjamin Frank
lin, the great natural philosopher and
politician, had no fewer than thirteen
brothers and sisters In front of him.
Sir Richard Arkwright, the famous In
ventor, was the thirteenth child of his
parents, and Sir Joshua Reynolds was
number seven in his family..
But by far the majority of the
world's distinctions are shared between
first and second sons, the lion's share
going to the first born. .
Fame In the world of letters has gone
in quite undue proportions to the eldest
born. If we may take Dante, Goethe,
Shakspeare and Milton as the four
greatest names in the history of the
world's literature we shall find that all
fourwith the exception of Shakspeare
the greatest, it is true, of them all-
were eldest sons.
. This privilege of the first born is
claimed for Shelley and Byron and
Heine, and In modern times, to mention
names without regard to relative mer
it by Buskin, Max Muller, Lecky, Prof.
Jebb, Sir Lewis Morris, Frederick Har
rison, Sir John Lubbock, Sir George
Trevelyan, Mr. Plnero and others far
too numerous to mention. .
Confucius and Mohammed, Talley
rand, Rossini, : Charlemagne, Luther
and Raphael were all eldest sons; as
also are such eminent statesmen of to
day as Mr. A. J. Balfour, Mr. Cham
berlain, Mr. Broderick, Lords Rose-
bery and Goschen and Mr. John Mor-
ley. r:.;c!.';: :
Among the great soldiers we have
Lord Wolseley and "Lord Kitchener;
among lawyers Sir Francis Jeune and
Sir Edward Clarke; In the church, the
late Bishop of London, and on the stage
Sir Henry Irving. " -
Of famous second sons the list is dis
tinguished if comparatively short, for
we find such giants of the past as
Michael Angelo ; and Beethoven; the
Pope, Garibaldi and Pascal; Wallace
and Sheridan; John Wesley and Mon
taigne.;. Of famous statesmen of our
own time we have Sir William Ha'r-
court and Mr. Asquith; as well as Lord
Salisbury, to mention only three
names. : -
The list of second sons contains a
great soldier in Sir Redvers Buller, an
eminent Judge In Lord Alverstone, still
better known as Sir Richard Webster;
a clever actor In Mr. Beerbohm Tree;
an artist in Mr. Phil May, and men of
letters in Grant Allen and Sir Edwin
Arnold: , ;
. Nor are the third sons by any means
to be despised in point of quality, al
though the number is relatively, very
small. - '
They Include the greatest soldier of
modern times, the Duke of Wellington;
the greatest author of any time, Shak
speare, and the most famous fiction
writer of the last century. Sir Walter
Scott :i: -:- ":: ". - - '.,
Voltaire was a third son, and so were
C, 3. Fox, the famous statesman and
orator. Lord Lytton and ' Sir Robert
Walpole, while Lord Halsbury has
proved that a third son can fill with
aistinction the highest place in the law,
and the late Sir Walter Besant that he
can win laurels in the field of letters.
the kind of visitors timid people would
welcome, although, whether big or lit
tle, they are perfectly harmless, and
the only serious objection to them is
that when disturbed they are apt to
emit an ill-smelling fluid.
The adder, however, says the London
Standard, has teeth fitted with poison
glands and is really dangerous. It does
not use these to secure its ordinary
food, but only if the prey is larger
than usual, or in self-defense, as for
instance, if It Is trodden on. The ven
om is frequently fatal to dogs, not sel
dom to sheep, and it his been known to
kill a bullock. The cause of death In
such cases is failure of the heart, but
if .that is averted rather severe local
blood poisoning may ensue. Grown
persons do not often die from the ef
fects of a bite, though a few such
cases are on record; but the poison
causes considerable suffering, and re
covery may not be complete for some
weeks. With children the danger is,
of course, greater. "The bright day
brings forth , the adder that craves
wary walking." It is smaller than the
ringed snake, for Its length seldom ex
ceeds a couple of feet .
Jokes and Jokelete that Are Sappoeed
to Have Been Recently Born-Sayinsa
and Doing that Are Old, Cnrione and
IjangnaMj The Week'a Hanon "
There is encouragement, if not poet
ry, in the following rrom a Georgia
singer: . , "' ,
I struggled up the mountain.
But fell to earth, ker-fiopl
said in pain,
Til try again," .
And finally reached the topi
Atlanta Constitution. -----
WHY HOWARD DIDN'T DROWN.
Experience of an Old-Time Reporter
- in a Shawneetown Flood.
I remember a story about Phocian
Howard," says Senator Mason, "which
has never been printed, and which
have always thought good. . The city of
Shawnee town was undergoing its pe
riodical inundation from the floods of
the Ohio River, and Phocian Howard
was sent down by a Chicago paper to
write up the calamity. This is the story
as Phocian tells it:
I found everything under water,
and I hired a one-legged, stuttering
boatman to row me over the town. We
got along all right until we came to the
cemetery. Then, In trying to read the
inscription on a monument I leaned
over so far that I lost my balance and
tumbled Into the water. Down I went
and came up again, and struggled to
reach the boat - I could not swim
lick, and the boat was out of reach.
saw the boatman waving his wooden
leg and struggling to say something.
I went down again, thinking to myself.
"Here I am, a first-class man in a sec
ond-class town, drowning in a third-
class graveyard. Too bad." I came up
again, still out of reach of the boat
knew that I was sure to drown if
weut down again, so I made a desper
ate struggle. The boatman was still
flourishing his wooden leg and wig
gling his mouth, trying to say some
thing.1 This was kept up till just as
I was going down again, when he broke
the puckering string and shouted:
"St-st-st-stand up." I stood up and
found that the water came about to my
waist' " . - -
OUfi BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Neatly Trapped.
She They used to say marriage was
a lottery, but Uncle Sam doesn't seem
to look at it In that way.
He Why?
She He doesn't bar It from the
malls.
Then there was absolutely nothing
left for him but to propose. Chicago
Record-Herald.
They Had It.
Towne Do I understand you to say
that Spender's case was really a faith
I cure?
Browne Yes. You see, the doctor
and the druggist both trusted him.
Philadelphia Press.
Ont in Kansas.
Visitor Only one mattress In the
house? Why, what am I to sleep on?.
Child Oh, maw is going to make one
soon. .
Visitor How long will that be?
Child Just until paw can have his
whiskers cut Chicago News.'
Hie Courtety.
"So you won't chop the wood?"
"I'm afraid,' replied Meandering
Mike, "dat de exercise would start an
appetite dat 'ud trespass on your hos
pitality." Washington Star.
Life's Little Frtctiosa.
"Are you getting ready for winter?"
"Oh, yes; we've had our last scrap
with the ice man and have begun to
quarrel with the coal man." Detroit
Free Press.
Good Advice.
His Occupation Gone.
'Dis'Stralian ballot system hei te-
totally rulnt me," said the colored campaigner.
"How Is that?"
"I wuz de champion voter In the
county !" Atlanta Constitution.
"I've a deuced headache, old chap."
"Why don't you have it filled?"
Conldn't Sell to Him.
"I have my opinion of you," sarcas
tically remarked the lawyer.
"Well, you can keep it" hotly retort
ed the client "The last one I had of
you cost me $5." Philadelphia Record.
The Infant History Clas.
"What did the Greeks row their gal
leys with? First little boy."
"Brooms." " " "' .
"Brooms! Doesn t the lesson say
that it was sweeps?"
"Ain't them brooms?" Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
An Acknowledgment.
"A man sometimes attaches a great
deal of importance to himself," re
marked Mr. Meekton's wife.
"Yes," answered Leonidas, with a
Chesterfieldian air, "especially when
he gets married." Washington Star.
Proof.
Mr. Crimsonbeak Do you believe the
world is getting better?
. Mrs. Crimsonbeak I certainly do.
"What makes you think so?" :
"Well, here's a paragraph in this pa
per which says the postal receipts this
year will reach $111,000,000. In 1890
they were only 60,000,000."
"What's that got to do with it?"
"A good deal. It shows that there
are fewer husbands now who forget to
mall their wives' letters." Yonkers
Statesman. ' .
He Knew That.
Father What! You've resigned your
job?
Son Yes, sir; it was too hard.
"Too hard, eh? Don't you know that
no Job is perfectly easy?"
'Yes, sir; that's why I want no job."
Philadelphia Record.
Tbe Reason.
GOULD MET THE TIGER.
Britons Growing Taller.
It is affirmed that no nation Is In
creasing so rapidly. -in height and
weight as the British. -In fifty years
the average height has risen from 8 ft
VA in. to 5 ft 8& Ins. The average
height of the criminal class is but 5 ft
5 4-5 .ins. -. . ... . ..
Ever remark that if a man can sing
a little, he doesn't keep a job very
long? ' ' .- - ;.
LET THIS BE A WARNING.
GREAT BRITAIN'S SNAKES
Only Three Kinds in the Islands and
One Is Poisonous. -
Only three kinds are generally recog
nized in the British : islands the
smooth 'snake, the ringed snake and
the adder.; Ireland, Indeed, has always
claimed, by favor of St Patrick, to be
free from these reptiles, though last
autumn: two specimens of the ringed
snake were actually found In County
Wicklow. Probably they had been Im
ported, and as they were killed, the
sainfs ban, after all, may have driven
them to their doom. t , - ; ':-
Of the three British species, one, the
smooth snake, named , by . zoologists
coronella austriaca, is rare.' In fact, it
was not observed until 1853 and has
seldom been found except in Hampr
shire, Dorset and Surrey, perhaps most
frequently In the Bournemouth " dis
trict jWhen full grown It Is about a
couple of feet long and might at the
first glance be thought an adder.- The
ringed snake is less likely to suffer
from mistaken Identity, for its mark
ings and general tints do not resemble
those of the latter. Indeed, it deserves
encouragement since it has been
known to swallow an adder, 'though
mice and voles, water newts, frogs and
toads, with the eggs and - young of
birds, form Its usual diet It is the
largest of our snakes, for specimens a
yard long are not uncommon, and a
giant of its kind, measuring five feet
eight inches, was once captured in the
New forest In September .of last year
a house at Cefncaeau, near Llanelly,
was said to be suffering from a plague
of snakes.-. The-story has been care
fully Investigated. - . ' -
In one house no fewer than twenty-
two were found, which, however, were
all small. But very soon there would
have been many more, for in an old
back wall from which they had been
seen to issue about 1,200 eggs were
r ...
discovered, each containing a young
. ringed snake just ready for hatching.
I The hunt was then, carried further
Eon Croker's Little Tiff with the Cap
italist and the Resnlt.
The Manhattan Elevated Railroad
Company into which were merged in
1879 both the New York and the Met
ropolitan elevated railroads, says R. R.
Bowker in the Atlantic; enjoyed many
facilities through a good understand
ing with "the powers that be,"-' until
its president George J. Gould, declin
ed to concede to Richard Croker for
his Auto-Truck Company the privilege
of laying pneumatic tubes along the
elevated structure. . .
A picturesque account of an inter
view between Mr. Gould and Mr. Cro
ker was made public, and" a simulta
neous and concentrated cross-fire from
the city authorities upon the company
began. The park commissioners noti
fied the company to remove Its struc
ture from Battery park; the health de
partment discovered that the supports
were in an unsafe and dangerous con
dition; and ordinances proposed in the
municipal assembly required the com
pany to inclose its stations in glass
and place drfp- pans under its struc
ture, to operate trains on five-minute
headway throughout the twenty-four
hours,- under $100 penalty for - each
omission, and to give up its revenues
from newspaper stands and advertis
ing. v: r-: --; --., ; , ;i -.;-
A renewal of friendly relations avert
ed the threatened dangers; but effec
tive notice was given to otner com
panies of the treatment to be expected
in case they failed to conform with
the desires of the ruling powers. ' -V
Symbolic
The Cheerful Idiot I notice our land
lady is up on football. .
The Gloomy Sage How so?
The Cheerful Idiot Why, she serves
her pie in "hollow wedges." Brooklyn
Eagle.; - ,
All Actors Want Tt.
'There's a man out in the waiting
room, - said the great man's Secretary.
"I think he's a bum actor."
"Why do you think so?"
"He says he's anxious to get an audi
ence. Philadelphia Press.
. Cow Sported False Tail.
A cow with a false tail figured the
other day in a suit for damages -before
Aid.' William A. Means, and because
the tall was bogus the suit was with
drawn arid the costs were paid by the
prosecutor.
Charles Campbell,, of Mohler street
entered suit against Henry Meller, of
Wheeler street for damages 'alleged to
have been caused by the ravages in
Campbell's garden by a cow, which
was saja by-neighbors to belong to
Meller. .. It. was Campbell's own cow,
but he did not recognize it without the
tall. The case was to have come to a
hearing one morning, but at the ap
pointed hour Campbell appeared, with
drew the suit and paid the costs. " He
then explained -.the : reason to Aid.
Means.
Early in the week Campbell bought
a cow from John McGuire, who, -he
said, lives in Frankstown road. : - He
brought the cow home and turned her
loose in his garden, but was astonished
Thursday morning to find what appear
ed to be a strange cow in his patch.
The animal had no tail. - He was told
by some neighbors that the animal be
longed to Meller, and the Bame morn
ing he entered suit before Aid. Means.
He also chasetl the cow out: When he
refnrned to ficrure Ud the extent nt .Tom-
age done in his garden he found ' a
Tertian Stage.
Edith Why did you break off your
engagement with Mr. Goodheart?
Blanche Oh, he got Into that state
that he'd rather sit at home and hold
my hand than take me to a theater.
do
why
widows
. ' Never Made tbe Kffort.
Muggins Do you believe that a wom
an can't keep a secret? ;
Buggins I don't know. I don't be
lieve a woman ever tried. Philadelphia
Record. . '-- .-- . , -
"Pa,
ing?"
"To let men know they are single
again."
- That May Be It. ,
- H unker Why is the Horse Show so
popular with the girls? ,
Spatts It Is so suggestive of bridals.
Philadelphia North-American.
f- An Attractive Field.
First Politician It seems that Porto
Rico has no bonded or floating debt
Second Politician You don't say so?
Porto Rico has" a great future before
it!-Puek. .. ,- - - ' '
The Proper Thing.
Why She Complains.
'She finds fault with her husband's
salary, they say."
"Yes, she says It Isn't like her father
used to make." Philadelphia Bulletin.
A Tip in Time
He Do you know, I am fixing to fall
in love with you?
She Well, be careful. The man I
marry will have to be pretty well fixed.
Smart Set
Carte Blanche.
i
His Daughter-4- can't go therewith-
out a chaperon.
Mr. Struckoyle Well, you get it,,
whatever it is, and let 'em send me the:
I bill. Brooklyn Life.
In the Bake Shop.
"Dear me," sighed the bread dough,
"I would like a raise."
"AH right" said the yeast cake.
"wait a minute and I'll set you to
work." Philadelphia Bulletin.
"Say, Billy, it ain't de proper ting f
wear a coat like dat wid a silk hat."
. "I know it ain't Jimmie; but some
body's got to set de style, ain't dey ?'
A N atural Inference.
"Her first name is Lily." - -
"Good gracious! - Is she as fat as all
that?" Harper's Bazar. 1
Finds Us Ont
When fortune knocks at our door we
are too often over at our neighbor's tell
ing hard luck stories. Philadelphia
Record.
la Great Lack.
"So you went hunting?"
"Yes."
- "Have any luck?"
. "Some. I didn't get shot by any of
the other people who were hunting with
me." Washington Star.
. " Ftrtctly Clamlcal.
"Yas, indeed, Mistah -Thompson is
very musical. He's Jest jined de new
drum corps dat dey've orgumized down
to , de Hollow." Cleveland' Plain
Dealer. -
Wonld Rather Lose than Win.
He had bet on the race and won.
"Baw Jove!" he said as he looked at
the money; "ye know I'm sorry about
that" '-' :
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
"Why, cahn't y" see," he asked, "that
when a fellah bets and loses it's a gen
tleman's sport, but when he bets and
wins it's too much like business, don't
y know." Chicago Post
- 'n the Tear 2000k
1 First Citizen It's a shame that these
airship companies haven't more re
gard for public comfort
Second Citizen Yes, indeed! They
should at least put on more airships
during the rush hours. Puck..; .....
Conldn't We Hii
Choliy So you think I am too slow
for any use?
She Yes. You don't even make the
cow's tail with bits of rawhide stick- other young men JealousySmart Set
ing to it This and other information
convinced Campbell that the cow was
the one he had bought andr which had
switcnea on ner tail. -pr tnls reason
he - withdrew r the . suit Pittsbunr
Chronicle-Telegraph. -. ' . -
a - "Mighty Loans.
Since 1815 the Rothschild family has
raised for Great Britain $1,000,000,000,
for Austria $250,000,000, Germany
$200,000,000, - Italy $300,000,000, and
large sume for other countries.
All by Himself.
"Mr. Johnsing, yo'. play classical
music?" -. '-.
?"No, sah, I don't play In no class; I
plays solos." Brooklyn Life.
Conldn't Be Expected.
Howell No, I won't give you a cent
I gave you a nickel yesterday.
Beggar I know you did, sir, but I
find it's simply impossible to live on
less than two and one-half cents a day.
I'm broke again. Philadelphia Record.
Heavy Rainfall.
It is the greatest rainfall in the world
which pours down In torrents npon the
southern sides of the Khasl Hills, in
Assam. No wonder that their southern
slopes are fertile. The rains begins in
June, and last through August and Sep
tember. Israel Savory writes of these
rains in "A Sportswoman in India:"
At Cherra Punjl S23 inches of rain
fall annually... The yearly rainfall In
London is about two feet; at Cherra
Punji it is forty feet or enough to float
the largest man-of-war; while in one
year sixty-seven feet of water once fell
frm the sky. "
When the rains set in we had thun
der-storms on a large scale.' We, in the
Innocence of tbe uninitiated, began by
trying to time a peal of thunder, but
when it had lasted over half an hour,
gave It up. ' Storms were on all sides.
one long-rolling peal crashing and vi
brating among the distant mountains
for hours. , " 'J.' " ' -
In this town there is a mother who
is very proud of her daughter, but the
! daughter is always saying to her Inti
mate friends that her home folks ax
mighty tacky.