Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 19, 1901)
Salt Rheum It may become chronic. It may cover the body with large, inflamed, burning, itching, scaling patches and cause intense Buffering. It has been known to do so. Do not delay treatment. Thoroughly cleanse the system of the humors on which this ailment depends and prevent their , I return. The medicine taken by Mrs. Ida E. Ward, Core Point, Md, was Hood's Sarsaparllla. She writes: " I had a disagreeable itching on my arms which I concluded was salt rheum. 1 began taking Hood's Sarsaparllla and in two days felt better. It was not long before I was cured and I hare never had any akin disease since." Hood's Sarsaparllla Promises to cure and keeps the promise. It is positively une qualed for all cutaneous eruptions. Take it. A Favorite Spot Miss Dusnap (disgustedly). This Is the sixth jug I have hooked into and pulled up. I Mr. Berr.wni8t.ie tconnuenuy, Good! That shows that this must be a pretty fine place to fish. Brooklyn Eagle. TYiapa la mora ffetarrh In this section of the country than all other diseases put together; and until the last few years was supposed to be incurable. For a great many years B QDCHJ doctors pro nounced it a localdisease, and prescribed local remedies, and by constantly failing vu con with local treatment, pronounced it incurable. Science has proven catarrh to be a constitu tional disease, ana marexorv iBjuiic. ufuovt.u- tional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, man ufactured by P. J. Cheney Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only constitutional cure on the market. It Is taken internally In doses from 10 drops to a teaspoonful. It acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. They offer one hundred dollars for any case it fails tp cure. Send for circulars and testimonials. Au di ess, F. J. CHENEY CO., Toledo, O. Sold by Druggists, 760. Ball's Family Fills are the best. Seek Protection from Extortion. Eight hundred residents in South London have joined a tenants' protec tive league, started a few weeks ago, "to enable weekly tenants to combine for self-protection against the extor tionate and illegal demands of land lords and rate collectors, and for pro vision of the necessary legal assist ance." . . : Pure Blood, Beautiful Complexion . Go hand in hand, one. Impossible without the other, and the best, quickest, easiest blood purifier is Cascarets Candy Cathartic. Ail drug gists, 10c, 23c, 50c. An Insuperable Obstacle. - "What foolish things they do say aDout tne KocMeuer fortune. Here is someone who claims that if it was in um it. wouiu encircie me where the adhesions had been remov earth." ed or pulled oft the bronchial tubes. "Well, wouldn t it? All irritation of the delicate mucous "Of course not How would you membrane of the bronchae is quickly eei uiein acruas me ocean.' Cleve land Plain Dealer. Time proves all things. It. has seen Wizard Oil cure pain for over forty years. Many people know this. - A Pennsylvania Giant. - William Llppincott, the heaviest man in Bucks county, Pennsylvania, weighs 479 pounds, but offers to out: dance any man who will try conclu sions with him on the waxed floor. Not long ago he allowed a young man to hit his hardest where his (L,in-!anu pincott'B) waist should be. The young man broke his arm. WANTED.."-1 Every man, woman and child safler- vltn colds, asthma, croup, poeif la or consumption to write us. American Luii- Balm Fad Co., Chattanooga, A Luxurious Traveler. ; Cecil Rhodes never does anything by halves. When he came over to England by the fast mail from Africa, besides other specially provided com forts, he was accompanied by his own chef, his own poultry and his own cow. Easy. "Which would you rather, Tommy, be born, lucky or rich? . asked Uncle Tredway. ,; "Both," replied Tommy, sententious ly. Detroit Free Press. Of Course. "Is that Mrs. Brown of Boston?" "I dunno her name, but she's Bos , ton bred." "Then she's brown, of course." Cleveland Plain' Dealer. Outlet for Much Fresh Water. The Detroit river is the outlet of the greatest body of fresh water in the world,, aggregating 82,000 square miles of lake surface, which in turn drain 125,000 square miles of land. ; Under Control. The Count Your daughter, madam, says she is perfectly willing to have . me. The Mother Yes; she is very dutiful. The diseases most feared are those which are inherited handed down from generation to gen eration, anJ family to family. By far the most destructive of these is Cancer, which finds the greatest number of its victims among the children and grand-children of those whose blood was tainted with this dreadful malady. You may carry this poison in the blood for years, but as the vital powers begin to wane a slight bruise or cut, wart or mole, sore or pimple may develop into Cancer. Prom middle life to old age is the time when the slumbering poison is most apt to break out, a sore or ulcer often degenerating Into Cancer, and Tumors become more progressive and ulcerate through the skin the sharp, shooting pains causing the most intense suffering. ' The Cancer patient naturally grows despondent as one after another the usual remedies fail, and the sore shows no sign of healing. The impurities that have been accumulating in the system, perhaps for generations, cannot be eliminated nor the poisoned blood made pure by salves, washes and plasters. The proper treatment is to purify and build up the blood, remove the cause, when the sore or ulcer heals. Xr. J. B. Arnold, of Greenwood, S. O., writes: "A tiny uloer came, Just under the- left eye. It beran spreading, and rrew -worse rapidly, destroying- the flash as it went. As Oanoer ia hereditary In my family Z booame thoroughly alarmed, consulting- the beat phy sician and taking- many blood medieinea, none of whioh did ma any trood, when one of our leadlng drnargiata advisad me to try B. S. 8., and by the time Z had taken the seoond bottle the Canoer beg-an to how slrns of healing-, the dlaoharg-a g-rew g-radually loss and finally oeaaed alto gather, the aore dried up and nothing- remains but a slig-ht scar. I feel that Z owe my life to S. S. S." wait until the blood is so polluted and the system so thoroughly saturated with the poison that no medicine, however efficacious, can check the progress of the disease. M there is a taint in your blood get it out at once, don't wait for some external evi dence of it, the appearance of a tumor or ulcer. We have prepared a special book on Cancer which we will mail free. Our physicians are ready to help you by their dvice and such direction as your case requires. Write us fully and freely no Charge for medical advice. TUB SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, OA Counting HI Chicken); "Before I give my consent to your engagement to my daughter, what Is your annual income?" . "Counting everything, sir, about $4, 000, as near as I can tell." . ' "Yea hm and added to this would 1 .1 AAA t ed to Bettle on her whlcn wonW "Yes, sir, yes that is if you don't mind, I've already counted that in." New York Times. Street-Car Pan (or Dog. A Detroit man has a pass which en titles him to carry his dog with him oa the street cars. The pass is in the shape of a photograph of the dog, on the back of which is an order, signed by the superintendent of the lines, dl- recting the conductors of all cars to ! permit the dog to ride. -The doga Boston terrier is known to nearly all the conductors, and it is rarely necessary for the owner to show his . order. The Distinctions. "I could never see," remarked the Sabbatarian, caustically, "wherein the 'sacred concert' differs from the ordin ary concert." - "Why, that's simple enough,", re plied Wagg8. "It is?" "Certainly. The 'sacred concert' is riven on Sundays only." Philadel hia Press. : Sweet Revenge. m.-tnj , urn't irnlnir you away n aa waioHnn thlQ Oil mm At r DaeeiYou bet I'm not: my land- lord said, if I closed up the house and went away he should charge me rent just the. same, and I'm going to stay at home to get even with him. Ohio State Journal. To Fit New Conditions.' "In a baseball game near Boston the ostrich swallowed the ball." "That would appear to necessitate a change in the language of the game." .- "What change?" "Out in a fowl." Cleveland Plain Dealer. - A wife is either a man's best pos session or his very worst. St Jacobs Oil for Chest Colds, Bronchitis, Croup and Pleurisy. An outward application for bronchi al difficulties is many times far' more effective than syrups, cough mixtures, cod liver oil, etc., simply because it penetrates through to the direct cause, which is, as a rule, an accumulation of matter or growth tightly adhered to the bronchial tubes. St. Jacob's Oil, possessing as it does those .wonderful penetrating powers, enables it to loosen these adhesions and to induce free expectoration., Cases have been known where expec torations have been -examined after st, Jacob's Oil has been applied, and the exact formation was clearly shown removed by the. healing and soothing properties of St. Jacob's Oil. In cases of croup and whooping cough in child ren St. Jacob's Oil will be found super ior to any other remedy. - - St. Jacob's Oil is for sale through out the world. It -is clean to use not at all greasy or oily, as its name might imply. For rheumatism, gout, sciatica, neuralgia, cramp, pleurisy. lumbago, sore throat, bronchitis, sore ness, stiffness, bruises, toothache, headache, backache, feetache, pains in the chest, pains in the back, pains : m snouiders, pains in tne limbs, aU &dily aches and pains it has no equal. It acts like magic. Safe, sure and never failing. QuickTime. "Did you meet any Philadelphia girls at Atlantic City?" . "Yes; and I proposed to one." "What did she say? ' "She told me to come back at the end of a year and I might kiss her. " Detroit Dree Tress. . . . Survivor of San Jacinto Battle. James Monroe Hill, of Austin, Tex., ft one of the few survivors of the battle of San Jacinto, which assured to Texas its independence. He was born in Georgia, and is a cousin of the late United States Senator Benjamin H. Hill, of that state. . Why He Thought So. "I see that a steamer ran into a school of whales off the Lower Cali fornia coast. I s'pose it was a school of oratory." ? "Why so?" "They were all spouting." Cleve land Plain Dealer. Will They Take Expert Testimony? "They are investigating that young doctor who kissed the pretty nurse in the hospital." "All the testimony is oral, I sup pose?" Cleveland Plain Dealer. '-. y . Timely Hint. . Every married man should join some good society the society of his wife and children for instance. Chi cago News. . ' " -;' . S. S. S. goes directly into the blood, destroys the virus, stops the for mation of Cancerous cells and cleanses the system of impurities. What we say of S. S. S. as a cure for Cancer is supported by the testi mony of those who have tested it and been re stored to health. Tho-.Ghango of Lifo " la the most important period In a wo man's existence. Owing to modern methodsof living, not one woman in a- thousand approaches this perfectly natural change without experiencing a train of very annoying and some times painful symptoms. Those dreadful hot flashes, sending the blood surging to the heart until it seems ready to burst, and the faint feeling that follows, sometimes with chills, as if the heart were going to stop for good, are symptoms of a dan- Mrs. Jkxsib Noblb. jrerous, nervous trouble. Those hot flashes are just so many calls from nature for help. The nerves are crying- oat for assistance. The cry should be heeded in time. Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound was pre pared to meet the needs of woman's system at this trying period of her life. It builds up the weakened nervous system, and enables a woman to pass that grand change triumphantly. "I was a very sick woman, caused by Change of Life. I suffered with hot flucb.es, and fainting spells. I was afraid to go on the street, my head and back troubled me so. I was entirely cured by Lydia B. Pinkham's Vegeta ble Compound." Mas. Jennie jnoblk, 6010 Keyser St., Germantown, Pa. . f Poor Child,; 'You've got a little brother,", said the nurse . at breakfast. "He was born last night." Really," said Tommy, "And - last night was Sunday. Poor kid!" Why do you say that?" "Cause his birthday won't do him any good. Sunday's a holiday, any how." Philadelphia Press. . A Waste of Hospitality. Mrs, Hermitage (of Drearydale)--! believe I will invite the Gothams out from the city to spend Sunday with us, Oscar. . . Hermitage ' (hopelessly) What's the use, Mary? They don't want to buy . a suburban cottage.. Boston Journal. ' Accounting for It "It may be merely fancy," remark ed Mrs. Seldom-Holme, "but since my husband commenced drinking the wa ter from that iron - spring he has seemed to be ten times as obstinate as he used to be." - "Perhaps," suggested Mrs. Nexdoor, "the water is tinctured with pig iron? Chicago Tribune. What Did She Do? ' Miss Prism Don't let your dog bite me, little boy. Little Boy He won't bite, ma'am. Miss Prism But he is showing his teeth. Little boy (with pride) -Certainly he is, ma'am; and if you had as good teeth as he, you d show em, too. Tid-Bits. ' Not So Bad. Mrs. Housekeep Oh, Bridget, you haven't really broken that piece of Severes? Oh, my! That's the worst thing you could have broken in the whole house 1 -- Bridget Faith, Oi'm glad to hear it wasn't the best, mum! Philadelphia Press. Thrown from His Cab and Kilied, The following is a most interesting and, in one respect, pathetic tale: Mr. JT. Pope, 42 Ferrar Road, Streat- ham. England, said: "Yes, poor chap, he is gone, dead horse bolted, thrown off his seat on his cab he was driving and killed poor chap, and a good sort too, mate. It was him, you see, who save me that half bottle of St. Jacob's Oit that made a new man of me. Twas like this: me and Bowman ' were great friends. Some gentleman had given him a bottle of St.' Jacob's Oil which had done him a lot of good; he only used half the bottle, and remembering that I had been a martyr to rheuma tism and sciatica for'years, that I had literally tried everything, had doctors, and all without Denent, l became dis couraged, and looked upon it that there was no help for me. Well," said Pope, "You may not believe me, for it is a miracle, but before I had used the contents of the half bottle of St. Jacob's Oil which poor Bowman gave me, I was a well man. There it is, you see, after years of pain, after us ing remedies, oils, embrocations, horse liniments, and spent money on doctors without getting any better, I was completely cured in a few days. I bought another bottle, thinking the pain might come back, but It did not, so I gave the bottle away to a friend who had a lame back. I can't speak too highly of this, wonderful pain killer." . An Uitcalculating Hero. Helen Oh, he is not at all mercen ary. Alice But he doubtless knows that you are worth two millions. Helen Yes; but he-says he would love me Just as much if I wasn't worth but a mile and a half. Judge. L A Real Wonder. - Bill Have ' you seen that woman lightning change artist at the thea ter? Jill No. Is she good? Bill Great! Why, she puts on her bonnet in less than fifteen minutes. Yonkers Statesman. . ; Another Trade by David. The gentleman known as David Harum stopped the deacon on the road. -. . - . -.-- "Deacon," said David, 'Til -give you a dolllar an' my sorrel mare fer that black colt you're driving." . "Done," said the deacon. Silk la Pliny's Time, -In the time of Pliny silk was sup posed to be a vegetable product and his "Natural History" contains a long story of the way In which It was picked from trees in the East Indies and spun and woven into fabrics. 8EAT8'OF MONARCHS. Kins; Edward and Czar Nlcnolaa Hit . Several Beyal Chair. Great -Britain has no distinctive and exclusive urone. insteaa, mere are four the wooden chair, with the slab of Scotch stone, in Westminster Abbey, which has served as the coronation seat of the monarch! of this realm for seven centuries; the sumptuous chair of state In the House of Lords; the chair on which the late Queen sat when holding a drawing room in Buckingham Palace, and the gilt arm chair at Windsor,. in which the sovereign sits to receive let- BRITAIN S COBOJIATION CHA.IB. ters of credence or recall from foreign envoys, or accord audience to dusky potentates. The Czar of Russia is even more di versely throned. Each of a dozen chairs of state are at various times styled the Russian throne. The two most remarkable are the chairs of Ivan the Terrible and the one In St George's Hall of the Winter Palace at St Pe tersburg. The former is of turquoises. In the back alone there are 10,000 of these gems. The other chair is of cost ly .woods, with ivory and gold, richly jeweled, and embossed with the Im perial eagle. The seat Is of ermine, and the arms are ivory tusks. Further east in Teheran, the Shah displays himself on a white - marble throne, looted from Delhi in 1739. : It is of ivory, overlaid with gold, and ablaze with gems, its value being estimated at over 1,000,000. - ; In 1670 the Dutch possessed 60 tons out of every 100 afloat - Now they own 1 tons out of each hundred. The sun's diameter decreases at the rate of five miles In a century. Its present diameter Is 860,000 miles. There are twenty-eight pounds of blood in the body of an average grown up person, and at each pulsation the heart moves ten pounds. ' Houses which are damp because of proximity to undrained land may be rendered more habitable by planting the laurel and the sunflower near them. A hotel landlord In St Louis has es tablished curfew regulations ' in his house. . Promptly at 10 o'clock at night the curfew rings, and guests, at that time are expected to turn out the lights and go to bed. -."; Owing to competition with Spain, Italy and Northern Africa, where labor Is cheaper, French farmers are aban doning the cultivation of olive groves. In the department of Marseilles alone within six ' months 40,000 olive trees were uprooted. - It has been calculated that the hair of the beard grows at the rate of VA lines a week. This will give a length of 6 inches in the course of a year. - For a man 80 years of age, no less than 27 feet of beard must have fallen before the edge of the razor. ; The total number of copies of news papers printed throughout the world in one year is estimated at 12,000,000,000. To print these requires 781.260 tons of paper. -' The oldest' newspaper is said to be the Kin-Pau of Pekln, which has been published continually for over 1, 000 years. ' In Tennessee and Georgia the peanut Is known as a goober, in Alabama and the Western Gulf States a ground pea. in the Southeast of the United States and in the West Indies a plndal or pin dar, and in various parts of England a jurnut an earth nut or a manila nut To drive ants from the lawn fine coal ashes sprinkled about the burrows of ants will cause them to leave.' Ashes may be used on the lawn without Injury to the grass. Sifted ashes are best, but those fresh from the stove, shaken from the stove shovel, will answer the purpose very well. " ; " The philosopher Confucius, writing of the great Chinese Emperor Yu, said that all his efforts could be summarized in tne creation or canals. They were an effective means of diminishing the destructive action of torrents and avoid ing inundations, and at the same time afforded a source of irrigation. Women In Old Egypt. The religious Egyptian believed his ulterior happiness and his everlasting union with the divinities in the eternal world to be wholly dependent upon his preparations beforehand. : and with these the wife had much to do. She was, in fact, as the mother of his chil dren, his savior and liberator, for none but a son could pray for the father's soul on "Its way to paradise, and she was entitled to and received his hom age and loyal obedience. In those days the "gray mare was the better horse," and she was treated accord ingly. - DnrabtHty of Plate Glass. It has been ascertained that plate glass will make a more durable monu ment than the hardest granite. Live Fish Sales in Berlin. More living fish are sold In Berlin than in any other market in the world. p 1 - ' - - - - are you ambitious? SuCCeSS Is Yours Want It. If You The Best Way to Improve Spare s Moments. You cannot get up In the world without making an effort, and ' that effort must be well directed. Make un your mind what you want to be and never give up until you have ac- comDlished it Even one hour a day wisely applied to study will not only crive vou a better education, out will raise you to a higher position in life. Untold advancement in education has been made by the inauguration of the correspondence system. Nowa days no one within reach of a post- office has .anv excuse for lacking a good education. Such education is now within the reach of every young man and woman in the Pacific North west.; We give instruction by mail a method of teaching - which has Droved abundantly satisfactory. .. Wit ness the responsible positions held by" thousands of thoBe who have ob tained a large part of their education y correspondence. . .We offer you a choice of 28 studies .arrangea in me following courses: Commercial (in cludlne Bookkeeping. Stenography, etc..) Mathematical, Historical, Eng lish and Scientific, and Ancient and Modern Laneuaees. Our field is lim ited to the Pacific Coast, thus enab ling us to give quick returns and the closest attention to the indmauai stu dent. For all information address . Pacific Coast Correspondence Institute , Portland, Oregon. WmHm mt oroe, thlm md. will not tPO0BT nOXt WttSJsV I Side Show Gossip. Armless Wonder is a "The cute one. 'What's he been up to now?" 'Sent a specimen of his writing, done with his toes, to a. woman vwho makes a business of reading charac ter from handwriting. But she was cute, too. She wrote back that he must be left-handed. Philadelphia Bulletin. v Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their A Bate Motive. - : Von Blumer I. . didn't come : down to this hotel over. Sunday to spend the night dancing or the day in playing 'golf, or the interval in talk ing to a lot of idiots. Mrs. Von Blumer (indignantly) 'No; of course not! The only thing you care about Is getting rested. Puck. - v . . . . .. SAVED BY A FRIEND One Woman Rescued From Death by Another. "If it had not been for one Of my friends I would not be here to tell the tale." - . . '- These were the words of Miss Fran ces Hathaway, of No. 416 Fine street, Kalamazoo, Mich., . whose interview is published in the Holland, Mich., Times. "It is really remarkable that I did not lose my life," she said. ; ' When I was 16 years old was taken ill. ' - I was pale and weak and grew easily tired and the family doctor seemed unable to help me at all." "Didnt you try any other physi cians? asked the newspaper man, "Yes, but they" did . not help me either. . My parents tried various remedies and treatment but I only kept getting worse. . By the time I was IV) years old I was thin and blood less as a ghost." - , - "What did the doctors- call your disease? inquired the reporter. - ; "They said' my blood had turned to water and I had anaemia. . I felt dreadful. It was about this time that Miss Huntley advised me to try Dr. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People, as she had been cured of a somewhat similar trouble by their use. I bought a box and before I had taken all the pills I found that they were doing me good.- - My appetite Increased and the healthy color began to show in my cheeks and lips. I continued to use the pills until I had taken fifteen boxes when I found myself entirely cured. . .. , - , "Have you ever had any return ,of the trouble? ", aeked the reporter. -J ".No ; never a bit. I cannot re member a time when I was as strong and healthy as now, 1 know that Dr. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People saved my life and I believe that no other medicine could have done so. " Anaemia is not the -only disease which succumbs to the potent innu ence of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. They are an unfailing specihe for such diseases as ; loco motor" ataxia, partial paralysis, St. Vitus' .'. dance, sciatica, neuralgia, rheumatism, . nervous -headache, the after-effects-of the grip, palpitation of the heart, pale ' and sallow complex ions and all forms of, weakness either in male or female. --They are sold by all druggists or direct from Dr. Williams' Medicine Co., Schenectady, on. x.- rnce 0U cents per box:' six boxes, $2.50. . Postoffices and Population, At the close of the fiscal year' of 1900 there were 76,688 postoffices in the United States, or one to every 1000 Inhabitants. - - ; - Just About Uncle Jason (at the seaside hotel) What's the difference between the American and European plans, Johnt Galey Oh! about the same differ ence as . between embezzlement and robbery. Puck. . Too Much for Her. "Yes, Mrs. Bouncer wanted to send her daughter to Bryn Mawr, but she decided on vassar." "What influenced her decision?" "She couldn't pronounce -Bryn Mawr." Philadelphia Bulletin. - Tuning the Tables.. Mrs. Newbride isn't at all satisfied with her husband's salary. wo; she says it isn't nearly , so good-as her father used to make. Boston .Journal. - : ' . FARM MACHINERY THE STAR OF STARS l ak II 1 ST" I OJlE.- STAR WI.'ID MILL. Haa ball bearina in turn-table. Turns freely to the wind. Ball bearings thrust In wheel, insuring lightest running qualities, and reserving greatest amount of power for pumping. uaivanuEea alter maains. rub lufcuicr with galvanized bolts, duuble-nntted; no part can rust or get loose and rattle. weignt regulator; perieci regniaiiuu. spring to change tension wltn every cnange of temperature, and grow weaker with age. Repairs always on hand. These things are worth money to vou. Then why not buy a START MITCHELL, LEWIS & STAVER CO. PORTLAND. OREOOM. n. p. h. r. No. 46-1901. WHKJf wrltln g ta adTartlsara pleas mention this paper. ESTABLISHED 1870. INCORPORATED 1899. G. P. RUMMELIN & SONS. 128 Cmcord St., Hmmr Wmmhlnatnn, Portland, Orogcn. Tho leading and Rollablo Fur Coats, Capes, Collarettes, Boas, Etc., Made In all the Fashionable Furs. Fur Trimmings. Kobes and Bugs. Send for Catalogue. Furs remodeled and repaired. Write us. - I Why Pay High Prices ? For WATCHES, DIAMONDS and JEWELRY when you can buy un redeemed pledges for Amount of Money Loaned with interest at the Portland L,Oat1 Office, kanSmgok. nsa-K,n Tm, at 1A nat wt. ln.Ar limn anT Rtiirn In Pnrtlanil She Believed-dim. . Wigg She is very : Busceptible to flattery. Wage I should say so. I once told her she was as sweet as honey, and -would you believe it? the very next day she had hives. Philadel phia Record. "Polka Dot Revelation." Bishop W. A. Chandler has been talking to the St Louis southern Methodist ministers on the nigher criticism and the tendency to ritual ism in the church. He deprecates special musical programmes and paid choirs and soloists. The higher crit icism , he declares, insists on a "sort of polka dot revelation:" : EITO Permanently Cored. No fits or nerrousnee si 19 after first 'lay's of Dr. Kline's Great Nervt TUrinw Rand far 1TR.KF.9V2.AA trial bottle and treat- iss. Da-B-H-KiiNl. Lui..lBl Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa, Accnrate Description. . "What kind of a cover is this on your umbrella? said the inquisitive friend. "Well," answered the unblushing person, judging by tne way it came into my possession, and the way it will probably depart, I should call it a changeable silk." Exchange. Piso's Cure for ConsumDtlon is an infal lible medicine for coughs" and colds. N. W. Samuel. Ocean Grove, N. J., Feb. 17, 1900. . ' Starting Out Fair. Archie Say are you our new nurse? Nurse Yes, dear. - - Arcchie Well, I want to tell you now that I'm one of the boys that you will have to manage by kindness, so you d better get some sponge cake and oranges right away. ' : V; A Terrible Mistake. ( " "Sir," said the indignant customer to the proprietor; "I have a complaint to make. "What is the trouble?" "I ordered ice cream soda, sir, and when I stirred it up I found ice cream In it. Don't let it occur again, sir." .-'- Fatiguing. Mr." Pathlot This country has maintained a standing army for many, many years. His Wife Goodness sane, tienryi They ought to be dreadfully tired!" Ohio State Journal. Echo of the Census. "So your name is Paddy O'Nara. Are you skilled?" "Am I phwat?" "Are you up in your occupation?" "No. Oi'm down. Ol'm a coal min er, sor." Exchange. Italy's Woman Lawyer. ; Sitmorina Teresa Laborioll is the first woman lawyer in Italy. She has passed her examination with honors, but, as she "does not aesire 10 auvo cate the "new woman" she determin ed not to practice. His Answer "Pa," said Willie, looking up from his book, "What's the 'Spirit ol '7b,' anyway?" - "Spirit of '76, his pa repuea, i guess that's any twenty-five year old whiskey." Philadelphia Press. , . . v Artificial Means. Elaine Did you notice the mean way that Smythe girl sneered at my new. hat? Gladys Yes; but those sneers were only artificial means. unio oiaie Journal. - ".-" " Contracted. "Oh, I don't know," remarked ontimlst. "After all. you'll find milk of human kindness.". "Huh!" erunted the cynic. "Wnai you do find is usually the condensed variety." Philadelphia Press. Heard Nothing of the War. Sven Avn1nroi rft-hpd Hedin, the explorer, reacneu Ik in the heart Of China, la8t Ciiarkhlik April, without hearing of the troubles in the eastern part of the empire. He found tile Chinese polite and oDiig- lng. -.--'; - ', Summer Resolutions vliceloy; Cure Bora relief Bom liquor, opium and tosaoM , babit. Send lor partleulars to resley Institute, Z?rZAllo?X5Z. Bright Man Wanted. ; WANTED-A bright young manor woman to represent us in each local ity. A good opportunity for steady and lucrative employment. Address, ' UNION PUBLISHING CO., lft Uwia niailH.ntT. th And MorrUon 8U.. - PORTLAND, ORE AND SUPPLIES. JOHN POOLE, Portland. Oregon. ' IMri anlnlMi' Can rive yon the best bargains in 1 Buggies. flows; boilers and Engines, Windmills and PrniDS and General 1 Machinery. See us before buying. SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. ...Columbia University... , - Academic and Collegiate Halls. COURSES Classical, Literary, Scientific and Commercial. For particulars apply to REV. E. P. MURPHY, President, . University Park, Portland, Oregon. Furriers of the . Northwest. Reckless. First Bullfrog (swimming) I see your husband enjoying a stroll on the beach. - Second Bullfrog (swimming wor ried) Yes; and it's right after din ner; whereas, he knows perfectly well he should never go out of the water until two hours after eating. Brooklyn Eagle. Possession Is Everything. Ethel Oh .mamma, it's awful hot here in the sun. Mother Well, why don't you move, Ethel 'Cause I got here first. dear? Youih Versus Age. Mr. Boreum (dyspetically) My dear, I can taste that lemon pie that we had at dinner yesterday, tonight, Willie Borcum (longingly) Gee! I wish I could Boston Herald. An Important Point. "There is no doubt 'that this scheme will pay." said the promoter. "Yes," answered the purchaser of the stock. I suppose so. But who is to get the money?" Washington Star. ABSOLUTE RITY. Genuine CarterV little Liver Pills. Must Bear Signature of See Facsimile Wrapper Below. Tory sssudl aai aa easy to take as amgatv CARTER'S FOR HEADACHE FOR DIZZINESS FOR BlUOUSBESr. FOR TORPID LIVES. ' FOR COMSTIPATIOR. FOR SALLOW SKIR. FOR THE COMPLEXIOR ITTLE, IVER LL5. "Mm a oraunn siustimdi sioats. "l jcMb I Purely Tes-etaWe.cSfew?J CURE SICK HEADACHE. IN WET WEATHER ' A WISE MAN WEARS . oiled ; waterproof CLOTHING ... black em Ti i ran . KILL KEEP YOU DRY KOTKIMG ELSE WILL1 TAKE NO SUBJT1TUTE3-CATALOGUES fTJEe-1 JHOWINO FULL UNE 0F5ARMENT3 AND HAT3I A-cFTOWER CO.. BOSTON. MAS 3. 4 STfOHTSIl 10W1LS K tob haven't s retralar. heaKny morement of the I (3.7. . m. . vim m aide, or will be. Kee-D root ' bowels open, and be welLForce. In the sbapepf . joJJj fjsto or piu poison, is d&nserous. The iimooibet. eaBlt.moat perfect way at keeping too fiow&laolear and clean ia to take CANDV CATHARTIC a pleasant. Palatable. Potent. Taste Good. DoOnoA Herer Sicken. Weaken, or Gripe. 10c. S0o. Write" for free sample, and booklet on beam. Address smut Bs ttmtmr, Olsast, mal, sw !. SSta KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEAB ML Cunt flntltt AU. tLit tMLo, i J Best Cough Bjrnn. Tastes Sood. TJe SEGU 14 PI CIS mm the rS the Pi II W5 v -k. raaos uu aaajsnnKO