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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 9, 1901)
WOOD SCENTS Oh! the pennyroyal scent. And the broken sassafras, And the snappy pawpaw blent With the mint of the morass! You can have your smell of roses In the city garden closes; But for me well, thanks, I'll take Perfumes with the country Jake.- Ah, this good-woody smell Draws me back to boyhood days. When I used to dream and dwell Where the misty meadows haze Fashioned mighty towers and castles And the bees were all my vassals. Bringing honey for my mouth, With the savor of the south! Let me stay here, let me He Here along the forest edge. Not a wall to shut the sky From my vision, nor a ledge Save the cliffs of yonder river Where the willows wave and quiver; Let me smell the woods and make B'lieve I'm still a country Jake. St. Louis Post-Dispatch. CjolMOTHY DOLE, or "Old Tim H twi" as he was called by his associates, was a great and pow erful blacksmith In a quiet little village among the Berkshire Hills. Tim was an honest, hard working, kind-hearted' man, and a great favorite with all the country people for milea around. In spite of his being morbidly superstitious and a firm believer In spir it rapping, haunted houses ana gnosis. Tim's dearest friend, farmer John Davis, or "Honest John," as he was everywhere known, was always chiding Timothy about his belief, or, as John would put It, his "foolishness." Still, whenever they had an hour to spare, they were sure to get together, and the talk always turned to "ghosts" and "spirit rappings." All through the winter months they were much together. It was Tlm'B de light to close his shop early and drive to his friend's bouse and spend the long, wintry evenings by the fire in the farm house kitchen, expounding his favorite views on spiritualism. Although John Davis professed to be an unbeliever in spiritualism, and was known as "Honest John," be could vouch for more bloodcurdling ghost stories and thrilling adventures than any other man about the country; and Tim was an earnest listener. One of their most horrible tales, hor rible for a "true story," was about a haunted house, of course, haunted by a headless ghost The old house still stood In the neighborhood, but no living being could occupy it, for whenever the housewife attempted to prepare the morning meal there always appeared beside the kitchen stove a man without a head,- but with a scarred and bloody neck. It was most horrible! There was only one cause for such a ghost mur der. ' Years ago, the story ran, a terrible crime had been committed there; a most brutal murder it was, too. A simple, honest peddler, who merely sought a night's repose beneath that humble roof, had been beheaded with an ax while awaiting his breakfast.- Then the fiend who did the awful deed escaped by stealing a horse from the barn be hind the house. The years bad come and gone, and the murderer had not been found, and to this very day no one bad, yet been able to live in that house, or even, use the barn. The horses stabled In that barn, no matter how securely fastened. would become untied during the night by some mysterious hand, and scamper .wildly away, even when strong ropes or heavy Iron chains were used. - , John Davis had never fastened a horse there himself, but his father, who had been a very religious and just man, had often tried to do so, in years gone by, without avail. . Even John's own mother, who had been a noble Christian woman, had actually seen the headless man sitting beside the ore in that old haunted house upon two different occasions, and although John said he did not believe the tale himself, he always added, when telling it- "And father's word was as good as Bible - truth," and "Everybody knew that mother could not lie!" And Tim believed It all, and would hardly have ventured home at night Jf he had not had his horse with him .to keep him company. Now It happened that as these two old men would often meet and tell their tales, they sometimes had a listener, a young man who loved humor, and occa sionally dropped in to hear their stories. His name was George Cowee. He was a slender youth with much learning and refinement.' He was a nephew of Dea con Cowee, a wealthy farmer living a short distance from tne Davis place, He always agreed with Tim, but he had no more faith In "Tim's views' than John himself, but he liked Tim, and he liked to hear him talk. It was very amusing. The night before Christmas he hap pened into John's kitchen, and there he found T!m who, as usual, was telling aDouc - tne ueau coming Dack" and . "communicating with their friends by rapping on tin pans," and as usual John loudly declared It was all "bosh" and "nonsense. Tim had Just been down to the dtv where he had attended a full-fledged spiritual meeting, and he was stronger In his belief than ever, and had many wonaeriui tmngs to relate. When George Cowee arose to go that night be said to tnem: "I am going away to-morrow out West! Then he added mischievously, slyly winking at John, "Tim, if I am uiiiea oeiore 1 return i will let you know It through the spirit. I will rap on the headboard of your bed at night. Spirits are always around at night, and I shall rap very softly at first, then louder than a bass drum, so that you ' will know that it is I, George Cowee, and no matter what it is, . you must hasten here to John's house and tell him. I am sure that if he believes it he will at once be converted to your views." --- . Just then an old clock upon the kitch en shelf struck ten, and the young man added: - . "Ah, John, that you may also know CIVIL WAR HERO GONE. DANIEL &UTTERFIELP The recent death of Gen, Daniel Butterfield at his country home in New York takes from the muster rolls of the Civil War almost the last of the surviving general officers of the volunteer army. He was never : a soldier of surpassing genius or achievements, but his patriotism was unquestioned and his services to his country were important and long continued. From the time when, as Colonel of a New York regiment, he volunteered to drill the home guard organized for the defense of the national capital until the final surrender of Lee, he was al most continuously in active service, taking part in twenty-eight battles,, being twice severely wonnded, and three times breveted for bravery. When the war was over Gen. Butterfield held commission as a Major General of volunteers, and also held a brevet of the same rank in the regular army. Though he rer. tired from the army in 1869 to take up large responsibilities in civil life, he never lost his strong patriotism and his military spirit. When the' Spanish-American war broke out he strongly- urged upon the Secretary of War the advisability of calling out the members of the Grand Army post to which he belonged, the mem bers of which were ready to fight again for the country they had once de fended. Though not a graduate of West Point, he was by instinct and training a soldier, and his body was buried In the national cemetery - on the Hudson, where sleep so many gallant soldiers. that I have passed away, I will ring that clock. I will ring it for an hour, and wake you and your wife up and keep you awake the whole time." George Cowee was only jesting, and he smiled as he bade the old men good-by. The next day he went West Weeks and months went by, and nothing was heard from him. It was now the beginning of May. As there was much horseshoeing to be done in the springtime, Tim was kept very busy. , John Davis was also hard at' work. On Tuesday, May 4, John had plowed all day, and when .night came he was unusually tired, and went early to bed. . . - In the middle of the night he and his wife were awakened by the striking of the clock in the kitchen. They thought it was 12 o'clock, but the clock did not stop when It had struck twelve, but struck on and on. What In thunder alls that clock?" he exclaimed, and he got up and went into the kitchen. He shook the - old clock, but it would not stop ringing. He took it down from the shelf and laid It on Its back upon the kitchen ( table, "but he Could not stop it from striking. It rang fully an hour, until John was tempted to throw it out into the yard; then It ceased as suddenly as It began, and was as quiet as a mouse. "The old clock is worn out!" - John said. "I must get another one," and he returned to his bed and slept It was hardly daylight when he heard a team driving into his yard. Going to the door he beheld his old friend Tim. Tim was ail excitement and his voice trembled as be called out to John from his buggy: ' Did your clock ring in the night last night?" . "Well yes," John answered; "but how did you know that?" Tim cried: "Don't you remember George Cowee, and what he told us- about his spirit manifesting itself to us? If you don't I do, and I am sure George Cowee is dead!" - . ' -' - Nonsense!" John cried; "the young rascal Is probably alive and kicking!" . "Nonsense or no nonsense," Tim said, "I believe he Is dead, for all night I could not sleep. About 12 o'clock, when I was thinking about the spirits, there came a rap upon the headboard of my bed, faintly at first and then when I asked. If it was George Co wee's spirit such a thumping and bumping ; you never heard. It was louder than a bass drum. As soon as daylight I made haste to come to you." ' -"Ha, na, ha!"' laugned Jonn; "you had the nightmare, sure enough," he said. But Tim sadly shook his head. He knew it was the "spirits." - "Come down to my shop this after noon, and we will talk about it," Tim said as he drove away. That afternoon John went down to the shop. : " ' i - "Not because I want to talk about ghosts," he said, "but to have Tim put a new shoe on my mare. As Tim worked on the mare's foot they fell to talking, and naturally the conversation drifted to the . strange events of the previous night Before they had finished talking about tne rappings on Tim s head board Mr. Maxon, the station agent came Into the shop, and he held in his hand a folded paper. : . ' I saw your wagon out here, Mr. Davis,,r he said, "and I thought if you were going right home I could get you to deliver this message that has just come for Deacon Cowee." "Certainly I wjll deliver it," John an swered, and the agent handed him the paper and departed, As soon as he was out of the shop both old men drew near each other and looked at the . telegram addressed to Deacon Cowee, and this Is what it read: "Denver, Col., May 5. "Your nephew, George Cowee, was killed In a railroad accident here last ; night." - Both old men stared into the fire- silent, sad, thoughtful. Waverley. AN ECCENTRIC MILLIONAIRE. Jacob 8k Roarers, Fanoii Locomotive Bnllder, a H -at Victim. Jacob S. Rogers, who succumbed to the intense heat In New York during the hot weather, was the richest man in New Jersey and was perhaps the most eccentric millionaire New York has known. He was born in 1824, and In 1856 - succeeded to the locomotive business his father, -Thomas Sogers, had built up in Paterson, N. J., after having constructed the first locomotive made. In America. In 1891 Jacob S. Rogers retired, leav Ing the management of the works to R. S. Hughes. - Hughes died two years ago, and then . Mr. Rogers astonished the world and Paterson In particula: by announcing that he would close the Rogers Locomotive Works when out standing contracts were filled. Remon strance meetings, were held, and Mr. Rogers was asked to reconsider. It was pointed out to him that he would throw two thousand men out of employment. His reply was characateristic. "I have paid them for their work, be said, "and I am nnder no obligation to them. As for Paterson, I care noth ing.. The works are mine, and I will close them." And he did. Then it was proposed to Mr. Rogers that he should sell ' the works. His requirements were so great however, that no offer was made. . Next Mr. Rogers asked the courts to name a receiver for the Rogers Loco motive Works. This was done, and the receiver sold them for $602,000. Mr. Rogers said that he had, at that time, never sold anything but locomo tives and butter and he told the truth. He Invested in securities and did not sell them. If the securities were forced to a fictitious value, Jacob Rogers paid no attention. He bought much real es tate, that has Increased in' value, and he has never sold. At Pompton he owned a stock farm of many "hundred of" acres, where he raided , blooded cattle, thoroughbred horses and maintained extensive game preserves. -' Butter making was his hob by. He sold the product of his dairy at 40 cents a pound never varying. When the demand for it grew, he was offered a larger price. His reply was that but ter such as he made was worth 40 cents a pound and no more. " , r ;' .'" . He never married, and his only rela tives are nephews and nieces. ' To these he leaves $250,000. together with two $1,000 annuities. Tbe balance of his es tate, estimated at $8,000,000, though it may far exceed this, he bequeaths as an - endowment to the Metropolitan Museum of Art of New York. The will, it is believed, will be contested by dis satisfied heirs. -.," . Austria Has No Colonies. Austria is tne only empire in tbe world which has never had colonies, or even transmarine possessions. What has become of the old-fashioned cook who thought that anything less than ten layers in a cake indicated laziness? ' . . Men don't get on tbe limb of a tree and cut the limb off every day but they do things equally as foolish. COULDN'T FOOL COUNTRYMEN. Trail Chicago Greta Into a Scrape from Politeneaa. One young man in Chicago found him self In a very embarrassing position during Grand Army encampment week because of the fear of some of the vis itors from the country who thronged the city." The newspapers bad pub lished columns of warnings to the peo ple from the country against the smooth tricksters who swarmed the city, wait ing to lead the strangers to the tunnels to see the "explosion," or something of the kind, and to relieve tbem of their ready cash when they reached the first dark alley. Herbert' McCuIla, who travels for a well-known Chicago gas lamp company, had Just returned to this city over the Chicago and Northwestern Railroad, and was walking south on 5th avenue to go to his home on the West Side on West Madison street car. As he neared Randolph street-he' encountered two gray-haired veterans from the country, and overheard one of them advise the other to go to the policeman on the next corner and ask where the Briggs House was. - McCulla knew very well Where the hotel was situated, and, stepping up to the strangers, he said: "The Briggs House is just around the corner on Randolph street Come along, I'm going right past It and will point It out to you and save you the trouble of looking for a policeman." Get along with you," said one of the strangers. : "We're onto you confidence men. We've read of you in the papers." Tbe accommodating Oblcagoan laugh ed and started to leave the strangers, but just at that time a blue-coated offi cer appeared around the corner and one of the strangers rushed up to him and reported that the man with the valise was a confidence man and had just tried to entice them to go with him so that he could rob tbem. The policeman rushed after McCulla and grabbed him by the collar, demand ing him to explain why he had tried to lead the two strangers with him. The drummer explained to the officer that he had merely voluntered to direct the strangers to their hotel and explained who he was and what firm Jie worked for. Tbe policeman was skeptical and would not believe him, and asked him to show evidence of bis identification as a traveling salesman. - McCulla put his hand in his pocket to get a card or a letter, but discovered that he did not have a paper of any description in his pocket by which he could prove his statements, and to keep from going to the station he was forced to open his valise on the street and produce letters from bis firm and show his samples, after which the officer apologized and released him. Chicago Chronicle. " - A Vague Reminiscenc. Though it happened in one of De troit's swell hotels, neither of the prin cipals belongs here. He had just seat ed himself at the dinner table, when she and another lady came in with the usual flourish of. handsome and well-dressed women. He turned a shade or' two paler. ' Af ter conning her menu she looked across the table,. and her face took on a puz zled expression. When their eyes met during the1 meal each pretended to be studying the tablecloth or the opposite wall. He left first, and she watched through the doors. "Amie," she said to . her companion, f certainly know that man, but I can't 'for the life of me place him. I think he knew me, too, but I couldn't bow to him unless I were sure, could I? You know, that I never snub any one, v ' : He wandered into the parlor later while the women were there, looked a little too fierce for congeniality, and got away as soon as he could. She again gave out the conviction that she knew him, and wondered where it was and who he could be. . "Never mind," said the companion; "he's nothing to us. Forget him." . . ' "Oh, foolish, it isn't that, but you know how It is when your memory be trays you, and I don t want him to think me rude. But hubby will be here to-night, and I'll have him find out all fibout it." . V tiair an Hour later she smothered a scream and rushed imploringly at the other woman. ' "For . heaven's sake, Anile, don't you say a word to my hub by about that fellow. It Just came to me. - "Well?" , ' ' ' - ' '. "He was my first husband in Chica go." Detroit Free Press. .- . . r- Did China Have a Noah? A London paper has discovered a Chi nese picture that represents or is sup posed to represent Noah's ark resting on the top of Monnt Ararat. The picture is of great antiquity. As Is well known, the religious literature of almost every nation and race contains an account of a deluge, but a Chinese manuscript, recently unearthed, follows very close ly the story as recorded In the Bible. It is particularly Interesting In that the roof of the Chinese ark is of the gable variety associated with the Noah's arks which prove such enter taining toys for our youngsters. The Chinese picture, however, shows a double-storied vessel, and, so far from there being only one window in the roof, there are windows in every possi ble space. Economic Valne of Birds. It Is averred that the destruction of birds In France has produced disas trous effects upon agriculture, horticul ture and the grape industry. In the De partment of Herault alone, it has been calculated,. the destruction of birds ac customed to feed upon insects costs a loss of more than 2,000,000 gallons of wine every year. ; Some birds consume about 600 insects each day, and a sin gle insect-eating species, Mons. Levat estimates, may be the means of saving 3,200 grains of wheat and 1,150 grapes per day. : A Curiosity of Nature. A pine tree and a birch tree have grown so close together in Woolwich, Me., that one trunk serves for both, sending forth pine branches on one side and birch on the other. The union seems a happy one, in spite of the fac that the two trees are as widely se:. arated by tbe botanists as two well -be. and the gnarled bram-hps oi 'ne embrace the tii-ch In a m:;t . i u:i 'e manner. THIS WOMAN KEPT A SECRET. Raw Eke' - Married aad Apparently Happy that Ehe Didn't Tell. Judge John H. Baker of tbe United States District Court at Indianapolis was in his private office the other day when a well-dressed woman, hardly more than 20, knocked at the door, and In response to his invitation walked Into tbe room and approached his desk. "I want to thank you," she said In a low, musical voice, "for having sent me to the reformatory and also for secur ing my pardon. I am now married and happy, and I owe It to you for having placed me where I would no longer be under evil influences." - The Judge recognized tbe woman and spoke in words of praise of her conduct In the prison and congratulat ed heron her better surroundings. Then, as if recollecting something, he asked: "Now that you have been released from the reformatory, are you not ready to tell who gave you tbe counter feit money?" The young woman seemed thoughtful for a moment and then, shaking her head slowly, replied: "Ob, I don't have to tell you now."- Judge Baker recognized his visitor as a young woman who was brought before him five years ago on a charge of passing counterfeit money. She was then about 15, and neither the court uor the district attorney was disposed to prosecute her very vigorously, but they were anxious to learn from whom she received the money, that the maker could be punished. Two men were un der suspicion, but the Government had no evidence that would justify arrests. The girl was asked from whom she received the counterfeits, but she re mained silent, and no amount of coax ing could get the Information from her. Finally the Judge told her he would send her to the reformatory till she was of age unless she told the name of the person from whom she got the money, but would release her if she would tell. The girl kept silent and was sent out to the reformatory to spend the night the court hoping that a sight of the in stitution and the prospect of spending six years there would cause her to name her confederate. When shewas called before him the next morning she was as obdurate as ever, and he passed sentence upon her. GROWTH OF OUR LARGE CITIES. Thirtj-elicht In Thi Conntry with Population of 100,000 or Jf ore. The census bureau has Issued a bulle tin, prepared under direction of Will iam C. Hunt which gives the popula tion of tbe Incorporated cities, towns, villages and boroughs separate from the population of the townships, pre cincts, districts, etc., of which they form a part . This bulletin places the total number of incorporated places in the United States in, 1900 at 10,002, as againsj 7.578 in 1890. Speaking of the growth of the large cities the bulletin says: If cities with a population of 100,000 or more are taken to represent the large cities of the country there are 38 such cities in 1900, as compared with 28 in 1890. Of the 38 large cities in 1900 three contain upward of a million inhab ltants, the same as in 1890, while for cities having between 500,000 and 1,000,000 inhabitants those in 1900 number three, as against one only in 1890. There are no cities in 1900 con taining between 400,000 and 500,000 in habitants, but -at the census of 1890 there were three cities of this class. On the other hand, there are five cities in 1900 with a -population of between 300,000 and 400,000, but In 1890 there were, no cities coming .between these limits of population. The cities having between 200,000 and 300,000 inhabitants numbered eight in 1900 as against nine in 1890, while for cities of from 100,000 to 200,000 inhabitants there were 19 in 1900 as compared with 12 in 1890. Pittsburg is in the class with a popula tion of 300,000 and under 400,000, and is outranked in this class by Cleveland, Buffalo, San Francisco and Cincinnati. Some Florida Rivers. In Florida one may have another odd experience; a river 'ride In an ox-cart, Florida rivers are usually shallow, and when the water is high you can travel for miles across country behind oxen. with more or less river under you all the way. There are ancient jokes about Florida steamboats that travel on heavy dews, and use spades for pad dlewheels. . ; But those of you who have been on Its rivers know there Is but one Florida, with its bearded oaks and - fronded palms; its dusky woods, carpeted with glassy waters; its cypress bays, where lonely cranes pose, silently thoughtful (of Stray polllwogs); and Its birds of wondrous plumage that rise with star tled splash when the noiseless canoe glides down upon their haunts. ' . Every strange fowl and every hideous reptile, every singular plant and every tangled jungle, will tell the American boy how far he Is to the south. Florida is, in fact his corner of the tropics and ; the clear waters of its rivers, stained to brown and wine-color with the juices of a tropical vegetation, will tell him, If he reads nature's book, how different the sandy soil of the South is from the yellow mold of the great West ern plains. St Jflcholas. Largest City .South of the Line. Ten census returns for the metropoli tan district of Sydney, N. S. W., show that during the past ten years Its pop ulation has Increased by a little over 100,000 persons. The total is now 386, 859,of whom 197,227 are males 189,632 females. .Sydney now ranks as one of the large cities of the world. It Is the largest,, city south of the line. : The United' States only contains six larger cities. New York Commercial Adver tiser. " " - - - --J : Beaver a Nuisance in Colorado. Beaver have become so numerous in the southern part of Colorado that the ranchmen want them killed off to save their property. When a man has nothing ; to do, nobody wants him around. Ever no tice how a business man scowls when an idle man comes In, to occupy his chairs, and "talk?" :.V- The greatest distinction to a sick woman is when her doctor accompanies her when she goes out on her first drive. -.. LET DS ALL LAUGH. JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA RIOUS HUMORISTS. Pleasant ' Incident Occurrlne; the World Over Baying; that Are Cheer ful to Old or Young Funny Selec tion that Tom Will Enjoy. " "Did you have a good time on the Fourth r "Never enjoyed anything so well in my life. . You know that mean old hunks that wakes me up so often at daybreak by running his lawn mower?" "Yes.", "Well, the night before the Fourth I got all tbe boys in my neighborhood to agree to shoot firecrackers in front of his house from midnight till 7 o'clock and then I went out into the conn try." Chicago Tribune. Bat Not Her Face. Gussie Gush Do you know I paint? Willie Softleigh Aw weally. Miss Gush, I nevab noticed it Ohio Stale Journal. A Stransre Reduction. He (reading notice) I shouldn't have thought it. The King. - Hustling Household. careful Housekeeper Bridget yon may get all the preserves we canned last year, and boll them up again, am afraid they have begun to work. Bridget Like enough, mum, like enough. Everything 'round this house has to. Harlem Life. After the Reconciliation. Dooley -Say, Hooley, gin me a punch on th jaw opposite phwere yez kicked me. - Hooley Phat for?" Dooley I want yez to straighten out me face. Baltimore World. - A Willing Youth. "You say that you don't care for the salary, so -long as you can get a chance to work?" said the billionaire. ."That's, the idea," answered the youth with the sharp nose and chin. "I'm willing to start right in at a big reduc tion and take one of those $25,000 posi tions you say are so bard to fill at half the money." Washington Star. Tactful. Mrs. Nosepoke John, don't you think If s about time for us to call on our new neighbors? Husband Why they only moved in this morning. Mrs. Nosepoke O, I know, but all their stuff will be downstairs and I can see it better. Ohio State Journal. The Terrible Infant. Host So sorry you have to be going. Guest Indeed, I am, too. By the way, I'm not sure about my train. It's nine-something, but Host's Eldest It's 9:32. Pa said he hoped you'd, take that one. Philadel phia Record. A French Duel. "Sir, I shall be, at 8 o'clock to-morrow morning, at the Bois de Boulogne with my seconds-!" "Sir, you will find that I am not easily frightened! I shall be at the same hour to-morrow, with my seconds, at the Bois de Yincennes!" " . Defined. "Say, pop, I've got to write a compo sition on hope. What is hope, any way?" "Hope, my boy, is the joyous expecta tion of being able to dodge our just deserts." Life. What Hurt Him. "I shall sue him for libel," said the man who is making large sums of mon ey out of the credulity of the masses. "For what?" "He called me a common swindler. It's pretty hard for a man who has worked as hard as I have to be original to be referred to as 'common. " Wash ington Star. Voluminous. Boder Bryght's new work will be In four valumes. Boggs Four? The man Is foolish to attempt to float a novel of that size. Boder But the public would be sus picious if be made it any shorter. You know the book is to be called "A Chi cago Woman's Love Letters." Judge. Trne Resignation. ' The Spinster (an invalid) Is it really true that marriages are made In heav en? . . r " : -- The Parson Yes, I believe so. : The Spinster (resignedly) Oh, then I'll tell the doctor be needn't call again. Chicago News. ; , - A Lib.L ' Ascum He said be saw you in a store the other day looking at trousers. - Cholly Twousers! The ideal' Why, l never took at anything but twouser- ings. Twousers are all ready-made, ye know. Philadelphia Press. f 7 i A Good Bonner. "Aalnt you most afraid to have John go to war? You know these far-ahoot- in' guns will hit a man a mile an' a half away every time." "There ain't no bullet that'll catch John If he grits a mile an' a half start" Cleveland Plain Dealer. " Quite Likely. Tbe Chronic Dlscusslonlst (truculent ly) If Andrew Jackson were alive to day what would be his sentiments in this matter? The Sober-MInded Citizen (wearily) He would be glad he was dead, I pre sume. Puck. The Two Perio la. After all," said the Old Codger, in his usual dry way, "I kinder think that, Instead of there beln' seven ages of man, as Sbakspeare contended, there are only two before he is married and afterward. During the first period he puts In tbe most of his time trying to make tbe lady think he Is a devil of a feller, and during the second he spends still more of It in endeavorin' to con vince her that he ain't" Puck. Proof Positive. Singleton Do you believe it is possi ble for one person to hypnotize anoth er? Wederly Never met my wife, did you? Singleton Why, no. I nev Wederly (Interrupting) So I thought Othrewlse you wouldn't have asked me such a fool question. Chicago News. The Modern Way. K nicker Was Jones' new book a suc cess? Bocker No, It only reached tbe two hundred and fiftieth edition before it was printed, so. the publishers didn't think It worth while to get It out- Judge. In Bo ton. It Is true he is young, handsome and well to do, but the only question, my child, concerns the heart Do you love him?" "I will be frank with you, mamma, never could love a man, no matter how attractive externally, who says 'all during.' "Chicago Tribune. Satiafie t. "Why, yes, your flat is cozy," said the visitor, "but how do you ever man age to live In it? It looks to me as if there wasn't room enough to swing a cat here" We haven't any cat" explained the tenant Somerville Journal. Latest in Kquine Millinery. Neigh, A Little Person)'. Miss Plumpersquat (of lady baseball nine) I am not going to pitch for this game! Lady Manager Why not? Miss Plumpersquat (lnd'gnant'y) While I was practicing somebody in the crowd yelled, "Get onto her curves." Brooklyn Eagle. ' The End. 'Miss Sharpe Vera," he began, "you must know why I've been coming here so much; why I sit here in the parlor with you night after night and " "I suppose, Mr. Pinchpenny," Miss Vera Sharpe interrupted, "It's cheaper to -do that than to take me out any where." Philadelphia Press. A Testimonial. "Dear Doctor: When I began using your hair medicine three months ago. you assured me that my hair would not trouble me much longer. 1 take pleas ure In stating that you spoke the truth. Could you give me the address of a good wig maker?" Baltimore Ameri can. Leeou in Arithmetic. "Now, Tommy," said the teacher, "if your father had ten one-dollar bills and your mother asked him for half of them, how many would he have left?" "He'd still have the ten," replied the wise child. Philadelphia Record. I'ifficultie in the Way. Wiggles Do you call your kitchen girl a maid? Waggles How can we? Her name is Mrs. Moriarty, and she has eight grown, up children. Somerville Journal. Favintr oney. - -Mr. Hardhead I saved a big pile of money to-day. Mrs. H.' That is lovely! How? Mr. H. Instead of suing a man for n.V. n . ft,. autajI mA T 1t lilm Iisva 14- nun,,, . T- un,, - - - ' v- .v. New York Weekly. Use of the Automobile. With the increase of endurance and the perfection of motive power and me chancal parts, the automobile has grown popular. . A crippled beggar In Paris, who formerly propelled him self by hand In a cart, recently bougbt a one-horse power machine and Is now making money by running errands. A public service Is to be established in Honolulu. Routes are being laid out In Madagascar. The. King of England Is having a car de luxe built in Paris. Socialists are to make a propagandist tour through Pennsylvania In a ma chine of their own. Emperor William has been offering cups for contests. The London and New York fire depart ments are both using autos, and a self moving fire engine has been in use for years In Hartford, Conn. The State Department of this country has re quested our consuls abroad to furnish It with the rules governing the opera tion of automobiles in foreign cities. The list of significant things Is almost endless. World's Work. A nian soon forgets his faults when they are known only to himself. Old Hoss-Part with It? neigh.