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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 6, 1901)
A Ired Skin and decaying bones. 5 alone. la caDable of all that. mmonly marked oy Doncnes m catarrh, and general aemitiy. always radically and permanently by ooa s jarsaparuia hlch expels all humors, cures- all e rap- tlons, and builds up me whether young or old. whole system, TjoojlTFilU cur liver IU: the nop Irritating and only cathartic to mice with Hood's Ssraaparil'aT He Knew. Teacher If you are polite and kind to your young comrades, what will be the result? Bully Jones They'll know they can lick you. IH la signature Is oa every box of the genuine I a n . Huu. Laxative Drunwvuiuiue the lanwdy that am a tM la oa aj Very Likely. McJieeer There is a rumor that China is secretly raising another army bv conscrmtion. Thingumbob Ah ! I suppose the ODcn. door is responsible for this draft. PIVA Parmnintlv Cured. No flta or nervousl Mid alter fin! .iar'a iweof !r. Kliaa'aGrMt Nero Beatorer. Send Tor FRBESS.O trial bottleand treat las. rja.R-H.Kl.iNa. Ud..v31 Arch3t..Pbiladelphia.Pa. Got the Result Anyhow. Doctor Well, my little man, you're quite well again. How did you take the pills, in water or with cake? Bobby I used them in my blow gun. No More Soar Stomachs. When rou're cnnstinated. undigested food rota in your stnmach like garbage in a swill barrel. Clean it out with Cascarets Candy Ca thartic! loo, aw, sue. A Question. Observing Gent Pardon me, Mrs. Oldday, but your hair is coming down. Mrs Oldday Mine ! Observing Gent Well, I thought it was yours. Learn to take pictures. The "A. B. C. of Photography" tells you how to do it. The best book on photography ever written. Your dealer can get it for you. Camera Craft, 330 Sutter street, San Francisco, Cal. He's Flagged. Marie They'll never be married, Grace Why not? Marie Well, she won't marry him until ne pays his debts, and he can pay his debts until he marries her. The Beat Prescription for i"r1a Chills and Fever la a bottle of Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic. It Is simply iron and quinine in a tasteless form. No Cure. No Pay. Price 50c. Hadn't Reported Yet "You say he died a soldier's' death, What was the fatal wound? ' ; - "It isn't known. The investiagt ing committee hasn't decided whether it was due to the tobacco or to hot irons." Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth Ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their children during the teething period. Hair Dye and Insurance. Hair dye is considered ' so detri mental to long life that a continental assurance company refuses to insure the lives of persons using it. Beware of Ointments for Catarrh That Contain Mercury, As mercury will surely destroy the sense of ameu ana completely aerange tne wnole sys tem when entering it through the mucoua sur- xaces. sucn articles snouia never oe used ex cept on prescriptions from reputable physi- cians, as the damage they will do is ten toll IV will do ia ten fold to tne good you can possibly derive from them, Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured bv P. Chenev & Co.. Toledo. O.. contains nnmercnrv andia taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfacea of the system. in ouying liairs catarrh Cure be sure you get the genuine. It is taken internally, and made in Toledo, Ohio, by F. J. Cheney at Co. Testi monials tree. Sold by Druggists, price 75c. per bottle, Hall's Family Pills are the best. , Refered to one Direction. "I see money 'is reported easier. men it must mean that it goes that way. It doesn't - come any easier. ' Piso's Cure is the best medicine we eveT used for all affections of the throat and lungs. Wm. O. Endslkt, Vanburen, Ind x eo. iu, iyuu. Making the Best of it- Mrs. Flatbush I call it rather cool in those burglars leaving their card after making a clean sweep of every tinng we own. -. ... Flatbush Yes ; but my dear, now Know wno to go to it we ever want to have any expert burglarizing aone. Wht Sm S. S Doqg for Children Children are constantly exposed to all sorts of dis eases. The air they breathe is filled with germs, sewer gas and dust from the filthy streets are inhaled into the lungs and taken into the blood. At the crowded school rooms and other public places they come in contact almost daily with, others recovering from or ituthe first stages of contagious diseases. You cant quarantine against the balance of the world, and the best'yott can' do is to keep their blood in good condition, and thus prevent or at least mitigate the disease. You have perhaps learned from observation or experience that healthy, robust children (and this means, of course, children whose blood is pure) are not nearly so liable to contract diseases peculiar to them, and when they do it is generally in a mild form. On the other hand, weak, emaciated and sickly ones seem to catch every disease . that comes along. This is because their blood is lack ing in all the elements necessary to sustain and build up the body. Poisons of every description accumulate - in the system, because the polluted and sluggish, blood is unable to perform its proper functions. Such children need a blood purifier and tonic to give strength and vitality to their blood, and S. S. S., being; a purely vegetable remedy, makes it the safest and best for the delicate constitutions of children. - 8. S. 8. is not only - a perfect blood medicine; but is pre-eminently the tonic for children ; it increases their appetites and strengthens the digestion and assimilation of food. If your child ren have any hereditary or acquired taint in their blood, - give them S. S. S. and write to our physicians for any information or advice wanted ; this will cost you noth ing, and will start the little weaklings on the road to recovery. Book on Blood and Skin Diseases free. TUB SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.. ATLANTA. OA. Durability of Wood. - In the. very dry atmospheres the durability of wood is almost - incred ible. Pieces of wood, wooden caskets and wooden articles have been with drawn from Egyptian catacombs of an antiquity 2,000 or 3,000 years antedating the Christian era. Business is Business. The Millionaire Yes, your high ness, 1 intend to settle ten millions on my daughter the day she is mar ried. The Duke Just give me a month's option on that and I'll consider it. A Matter or Enviornment "You ought to rise with the lark." "Well, if I had to perch all night on a cold twig I suppose I'd be glad to." Guessed the Cause. woman Doctor, I have an The awful tired feeling. The Doctor Ah, let me see your tongue. Automobile! aa Transport Wagons. Experiments in France have proved con vincing, and the French believe they are certain to play a role of much importance in modern warfare. It is odd to note the different uses to which nature and science are put. On the battlefield they tight for tne destruction oi me, wnne inrougnoiit he country. Hostetter s Stomach Bitten riehts to preserve it. For fiftv vears the Bitters has been curing dyspepsia, indiges tion constipation ana biliousness, it will also prevent malaria, fever and ague, Logic. "Johnny, your hair is wet. You've been in swimming again." "I fell in, ma." "Nonsense; your clothes are per- fectlydry." Yes m. I knew d you didn't want me to wet 'em, so I took em off before I fell in." THE BAKER'S DOZEN. Thirteen Reasons Explaining Popularity of the "Anchor" Clamp. A great deal is heard now about the 'anchor" .fences that have sprung into wide popularity of late. It is claimed that they are the cheapest and most durable fences on earth, hence their general adoption. Mi nute inquiry into details of construct ion reveals the fact that anchor clamps hold (rivet tight) the large wires of which the fence is made, thus making the fence five times as strong and durable as any other fence on the market. The manufacturers, The Portland Anchor Fence Co., -742 Nicolai street, Portland, Or., give a full baker's dozen reasons why the "anchor" clamp is so efficient: 1. It is made of the best hoop steel, therefore is strong and durable. 2. It is simple; can be applied by any one. 3. It does what other ties pretend to do makes an immovable anchor. 4. It prevents loose and sagging wires. 5. It keeps a fence always in repair. 6. It prevents injury to stock. , 7. It makes a fence that stock can not break down. ,. - - -: o. it can be used on smooth or barbed wire. . it can oe used for making new or repairing old fences. 10. It is the only tie yet devised by which a fence can be made in any manner desired, or repaired without rebuilding. 11. It makes the BEST and most durable fence on the market. 12. IT IS CHEAP. 13. Merit alone can stand the test of time. lne company will send you an illustrated book on the subject free, if you write to them. - Not Expensive Enough. Mr Park Slope Do you believe that the doctors will agree that, after all, salt is the' elixir of life? Mr. Midwood Never! : It's- too cheap! ' ' Appreciation. She I like some of your articles very much. - He Oh, I'm so glad! Which the part you liked specially? , She Well, I liked the quotation from Balzac. SfopM 1h Cough mnd VlorkmOff thmOoM. Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure a cold in one aay.-.ao cure, o fay. frtcezs cents. , Touched. ." ; First Sharper (at Pan-American ex position) I hope you got the last dol lar out of that galoot from Hacken sack, N. J. He came to the exposi tion because the papers say it's a lib eral education. , Second Sharper (complacently) Well, I guess I gave his education the finishing "touches." . - WRAPPEBINROMANCE I 2 ROBINSON CRUSOE'S ISLAND, FAMED IN FICTION. Little Dot In the Pacific That Ia Batter Known Than Many of the Larger and Much More Important islands Bcene of a Boya' Classic With all of Its solitude, writes Doug las White In the Overland Monthly. In regard to Robinson " Crusoe's island, there Is not a speck of land upon the surface of the Pacific or any- other ocean which is better known or more widely discussed than this same island of Juan Fernandez. Strangely cnougfi, it is not the Island's history which has made its name so well known through out the English-speaking world, for to most people there Is little of its history known; but the fame of Juan Fernan dez has all arisen from a work of fic tion which has been since Its first pub lication more widely read than any similar work in the English language. From the passing of Fernandez and his Spanish colonists the Island was seldom visited save by some ship which was pressed for water and- fresh food, in which case It furnished both in am ple Quantities, the goats supplying fresh meat, the fruit trees set by Fer nandez giving of their products, while several kinds of wild vegetables grew in abundance on different parts of the island. History, however, records but few of these visits up to the beginning of the eighteenth century. From a rough survey of the island, it was set down as being about twelve miles long by four miles In its widest portion, curving in a northwest and southwest direction, with its highest peak at the bend of the curve. This peak was named by Fernandez "El Yunque" (The Anvil), from its close resemblance to that mechanical implement. For considerably over 100 years EI Yunque's- solitude was broken only by the coming and going of these few vis itors, until In 1700 the ship entered Cumberland Bay which was to give to Juan Fernandez its possibility of be coming one of the best known Islands upon the world's charts. This was the Cinque Ports galley, under the com mand of one Capt. Straddling. Now, this British skipper does not seem to have been extremely popular with his inenr for upon this first visit to Fer nandez more than 40 of his "Jackies" deserted to the island, preferring the life on its solitary shores to existence aboard the galley; Before the ship sailed, however, all but five of these deserters changed their opinions and re turned to the galley's decks. Four years slipped by and again Straddling's ship dropped her anchor In' Cumber land's waters. Of the five men left In 1700 but two remained, the others hav ing been carried away by a French ship which called in the meantime. But this second visit of the Cinque Ports was to be productive of the great event In Fernandez's history, for while in the bay the commander of the gal ley had an argument with his sailing master, . one ' Alexander Selkirk, who demanded that he be given an allow ance of stores and landed on the isl and.-; His request was complied with. and the galley sailed without him. For four years and four months did Selkirk maintain his lonely vigil at the top of the island's mountain range,' scanning the sea for the sail which might come to end his dreary life. In 1704 he was taken off by the Duke, an English priv ateer, on board of which he returned to England, bringing with him an exten sive note book covering his experiences during these years of solicitude. This note book was presented by him to the novelist Defoe, and on it the writer founded what at once became one of the most popular fictional works of that and each succeeding generation. Of course, Defoe used an author's lati tude in its construction, but there ex ists to-day upon Juan Fernandez every one of the principal landmarks describ ed in the chapters of Robinson Crusoe. TO OUTWIT THE JANITOR. Flat-Dwellera Fear of Osrre Baa De veloped New Industry. "All right," said the locksmith, who keeps a little shop In Amsterdam ave nue and does odd jobs of no great im portance in themselves for the resi dents of the neighborhood, "all right, sir. I can fix this key to suit you, I think." "You see," he explained to a visitor, according to the New York Herald, when the customer: had retired, "he wants me to give him a janitor-proof key, and I'm Just the boy to do It. I guess you dont know what a janitor- proof key is, because I know you live in a house. If you lived in a flat you'd know. '. ; "When a man moves Into a new apart mentthat is, an apartment that is new to him the first thing he begins to worry about is the key proposition. I'll take my oath that New York people are the most suspicious set of citizens that ever saw In all my life. v Why,; they don't trust their relatives. After the man of the flat gets his string of two or three keys from the janitor he begins to let his suspicion loose. - 'He thinks, of course, that the janitor is predatory by nature. Maybe he Is right, but I believe the law holds all persons innocent until they are proved guilty, and It would be a pretty hard thing to do to prove a janitor guilty. Anyway, the man of the flat gets ner vous, tte aas received so many keys. What is to prevent the janitor from having kept a duplicate key. of the apartment? ' Nothing at all. It would be the easiest thing in the world for the janitor to hold out, turning over all the keys but one and making use of that to enter the flat whenever he saw a good opportunity in the absence of the family. "That's the way the householder fig ures the case out to himself. Then he comes around to some locksmith in the neighborhood, ana gives one excuse after another to account for his wish to have the lock changed' on his front door. It doesn't make any difference to a locksmith what the reason is, so long as he gets paid for the work he does, but the 'flatters' seem to think it necessary to spin him a fairy yarn, Anyway, the matter ends by the lock smith going around to the flat; taking a ti?J? " p?!f! so that the key that belongs to It won't work, and then altering the key so that It will fit the revised lock. . . "Fop this, the charge is very slight. There is only a few m mutes' work to the job, and a locksmith hasn't the heart to make an overcharge, you know. Now, this Is much cheaper than having the old lock taken off and a new one put on, for then new keys would have to be made, and, good keys cost consid erable, yovi know. By simply scraping a piece off the lock at a certain point and scraping a corresponding piece off the, key, the 'flatter" gets practically a new protection, and the janitor doesn't stand a chance of paying him a visit without ringing the bell and being regu larly admitted." ' The End of the Town. There was nothing about htm to indi cate the crank. He was neatly but not fashionably dressed, and his good- natured countenance was of corpulent order, says the New York Mail and Ex press. He glanced reflectively out of the rear window of a Third avenue car at the tall buildings along Park Row and Broadway, and for a moment look ed serious. ' "Too much weight," he said to a fel low passenger beside him, nodding his head in the direction of the buildings. "Too much weight entirely. People don't seem to realize that the lower portion of this city is only a crust of rock, with water of great depth be neath it. They keep putting up build ing after building of .great height and weight, and some day there's going to be the greatest catastrophe of the ages. The whole blooming lower part of the city, or a good portion of it, will cave in under the enormous strain put upon it by these sky-scrapers, and the loss of life and property will be incalcula ble: " Just think of the weight that crust has to sustain. Millions of tons of iron arriving here every year to be used for girders and rafters. Millions of tons of brick and mortar are used in con structing the buildings, to say nothing of the marble, granite and other kinds of stone, and all piled upon that frail crust of. rock,' which must give way some day under the strain. "Then, there's the bridge, too. It can't last forever. ' Some day it is go ing to break down under the additional strain put upon it by the trolley and steam cars now running to Brooklyn. Imagine the scene at a rush hour some night; trolley cars on both sides laden with people; the promenade crowded and trucks in a steady stream. Sud denly one of the cables gives way. The other, unable to stand the strain alone, also parts, and people, cars and trucks are dumped into the river like a shovel of coal into a bucket" Oh, It's bound to come, I tell you." ' "Princo Georgie." The Duke of Cornwall is devotedly loved in loyal Bermuda, where as a growing boy he once passed a happy winter. One of his favorite comrades there was a little - girl whose great grandfather had fought side, by side with Wolfe upon the Plains bf Abra ham. She used to push her little rocking-chair close beside that of the prince, and laboriously time her small rockers with those of his larger chair. We rock together, Prince Georgie," she used to chatter, "always together," thrusting difference of rank into that limbo reserved for sophisticated aduits. Another favorite of the prince was a young American girl who discovered him in the admiral's hallway one day, tugging at his gloves. - I hate to wear them," he admitted, as he looked at her bare hands: "only I promised grandmother that I would.' A letter from Queen Victoria gave ihe royal boy much pleasure, but on being asked if he would sell it for two pounds, he eagerly accepted the offer. Where- -upon he answered the letter with com mendable promptness, urging Ms "dear grandmother please to write again." The death of his older brother, some years later, and the recent death of the queen materially changed the career of the youth to whom the American girl said "you, and he said you to me." On his return from the tour of the Brit ish colonies he will receive the honored title of the Prince of Wales, with Its pregnant motto, "Ich dien" I serve. Why Dinah Wept. Not long ago a lieutenant in the navy was ordered away on a three years' cruise. The order had been dreaded for weeks, and when it came the young wife, who was to be left in a Brooklyn flat with a baby and a colored servant, was in despair. ' She controlled her sorrow very well, however, until the actual moment of parting came, and then she wept as though. her heart would break, says the New York Herald. The cruiser was to leave the navy yard early next morn ing, and the lieutenant had gone to re port for duty. In the midst of her lamentations the young wife heard a sniffling and sob bing in - the -dining-room, and' upon glancing tnrougn tne floor she saw Dinah, the colored maid, rocking her body to and fro in a chair and weeping violently. - "Why, B-D-DInah, what's the nunat- ter?" cried the mistress. "You seem to t-t-take Mr. Blank's departure as much to heart as I do." r - " 'Deed I doesn't! Mis Blank 'deed aoesn t!" sobbed uman. "What am bodderin' dis chile am the fac' dat culled gemman friend o mine am gwlne sail hisse'f on dat same old cruisah!" ; ; Duke of Norfolk's Clothes. The Duke of Norfolk's indifference to the niceties of dress has led to many mistakes, which, as a man of humor. he always enjoys. During his long term of service on the London County Coun cil he was often mistaken for a labor member, one reason being because be always sat on the same group of seats as the labor men. Not so long ago he put some sovereigns in the plate at the door on leaving the Roman Catholic Church off Uncoln's-Inn-flelds. - The doorkeeper, feeling that the plainly dressed man must have made a mis take, hurried after him to explain. The departing visitor smiled quietly as he replied: "We'll let the mistake pans this time." London Chronicle. 1 STARTLING STORt TOLD BY A KANSAS NEWS AGENT. CITY In an Interview Be Relates Bow Be Ac complished What Many Other Bave Felled to Ire. Jack Williams, of No! 401 Dela ware street, says the Kansas City. Mo., Journal, is well known as an en terprising news agent and a thorough ly reliable man. He had been a suf ferer from kidney trouble and endured much pain from it until recently, when he tried Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People and with such success that within a short time he was entirely and permanently cured. To a reporter he said : "For two years ; I had pains in the back constantly, causing me serious inconvenience. But I did not at tempt to do anything for my com plaint until the latter part of last winter, when I saw an advertisement of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People and decided to see what they would do for me. I was relieved within one week after I began taking them ; the pains disappeared and so complete was the cure that I have not found it necessary to take further treatment nor have I been troubled at all by the disease since." Kidney complaint is an insiduous disease. First come almost unnoticed pains in the back and some slight in convenience.: The pains grow gradu ally worse and the inconvenience greater till finally, if not given medi cal treatment, the person suffers awful torture and becomes unfit to follow his ordinary occupation. , Blood pois oning sets in, the constitution is wrecked and death often results. Mr. William stook the one unfailing remedy and was readily cured within a few weeks. His statement was sworn to before Lionel Moise, a no tary public, and the facts above will bear the most searching investigation. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People will not only effect a cure in cases similar to the one above, but, acting directly upon the blood and nerves, are an unfailing specific for such diseases as locomotor ataxia, par tial paralysis, St, Vitus' dance, sci atica, neuralgia, rheumatism, nervous headache, after effects of the grip, palpitation of the heart, pale and sal low complexions and all forms of weakness either in male or' female. At all druggists or direct from Dr. Williams Medicine Co., Schenectady, Y. Price 50 cents per box -. six boxes, $2.50. ; . A Forced Alliance. Muggins- He married the. cook, believe. Buggins- -Yes ; you see she wanted to leave. ' TO CUBE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take Laxatwe Bromo Quinine Tablets. All Iruggists refund the money if it lails tocure. w urove s signature is on eacn oox. zoo. Many Oysters Near Mobile. A big ovster bed near Mobile, Ala., has been sold for $130)00. It ia es timated that there are $100,000 worth of oysters in the bed- at this time. How He Got There. 'How'd I come here? Well;" an swered the sullen convict, "I sneaked in de back way, when nobody was lookin' and hid in dis yere cell." Rough on Both. Algy Gladys, I fear I cannot love you as I should. laetys Why, what's the reason? Algy Because I must confess I for got to shave today. , Fond of the Baby. "My wife doesn't stay but a week down at her mothers." "Homesick?" "No; but. her younger sisters ad mired our baby so much that they nearly washed it to pieces." Started Her Song. Mrs. Bf own (at Mrs. Smiths tea party) Oh, dear, that dreadful Miss Smith is singing again. I wonder what started her. Tommy . Brown (aged seven) I dropped a penny down her back when she wasn't looking. . iiiliminiuiiiHiiiiiiimuiiiu'mTuTi : 1 i t x Vegetable Preparalionfor As similating UieFoodandBeguta ting (he Stomachs andBowels of Promotes DigcstioitCheerful nessandRest.Contains neither Opium.Morphine nor Mineral. aotKarc otic jaatv afOUjAYSANVZLPITCHtR Pxmpim ScU- JbcSmn. ZftS22J(a6 A perfect Remedy forConslipa Ron , Sour Stotnach.Diarrhoea Worms .Convulsions .Feverish ness and Loss OF SLEEP. Facsimile Signature of NtTW YORK. ML EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER. J) RE ATM I . bMi CAftCAKETS m. m mild ud efMUTt laxative thmj are imply won rfnL My daughter and I were bothered with tick atotDevoh and oar breath wm Terr bad. After takin a few doaee of Cascarete wo bare ixnprorod woadorf ally. Thar ere a groat holp In toe lamUy." WlIaHKUflMA NlOlL, 110 lUwenaoiiee 8k, Cinoinnatt, Ohio. Pleasant. Palatable. Potent. Taste Good. Do Sood, Never Slokan. Weaken, or Grips. Ktc. lite, toe, ... CURE CONSTIPATION. ... tsueaf way Cwfaar. Calaaa. Baateval. Saw lark. SIS M.T1I.R1R Bold and naranteed br all drof I U'BAb gists to CX K Tobaeeo Haoib His View of It Mc Jigger I thought your wife was economical. Thingumbob Such ignorance! My dear man, no woman is ever econom ical, bhe is either extravagant or stingy. TOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARB TAKING When von take Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic, because the formula is plainly printed on every bottle showinr that it is simply Iron and Qui nine in a tasteless lorm. Bo cure. Ne Pay. 60c. , A Matter of Expense. "Doctor, what is the matter with me?" "You need about three months rest from business that is all." "Three months' rest? That will cost me $5,000. The other doctor said I needed an operation for apend icitis. That would cost only $100. J think I'll let him operate." Spring Planting. "Josiah is in a terrible quandary." "What now?" , "He doesn't know whether he gave the canary the bird seed or whether he gave it the flower seed' and planted the bird seed." She Knew Him. "All is lost save honor, " telephoned the defeated candidate to his wife at 2 a. m. "Well, you'll have to walk home. then, she answered, "for that won't do you any good on the owl cars, And then nothing but the low, hoarse buzzing of the telephone wires answer ed her. fSkyi CANDY I f - r CATHARTIC yd ""a. twadi mask anoasmreu ar FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES. CHAMPION BINDERS Wm Gumrmntmm That the Eccentric Snrocket Wheel on this machine will give n absolute gain of 16 per bundle. -The Force-feed Elevator will waste leas grain than any other. There is less shattering. The Relief Bake keeps Inner end of platform clear. Everyone of those using Champion Binder says it has no equal. SEND FOB CATALOGUE. Mitchell, Lewis & Slaver Co., First and Taylor Sta. PORTLAND, OR Wholesale Boots and Shoes KRAUSSE & 87 and 89 First Street, All Kinds Carried in Stock. GEtSLER PATENTS COMPANY. Chamber of Commerce, PORTLAND, OREGON. Pil 1? B UI1IH For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears Signature For Over Thirty Years the AM A J- Use ; ; "Robbing Peter." Towne For godnesa sake, what are you so cranky about? Browne Oh, I asked my wife to sew a button on my coat. . lowne And wouldn't she do it? Browne Yes ; but I've iust discov ered that the button she sewed on my coat was cut from my vest. Boltt's gehool. At Metllo Park. San Mateo Cnnntv Pal., with ita beautiful, aarronndine-a. nerfer.t climate. careful superviaion, thorough instruction, complete laboratories, and gymnasium, easily maintains iu position in the front ranks of acnoois lor dots on tne raciac coast. Ira u. noitt, rn. v., rrlnctpaL How It Happened. Silas How did you ever come to let that bunco man take you in? Hiram. Well, I kinder suspected him at fust, but he said nobody'd ever know I was from the county ; an' I though a teller that didn't know that much couldn't be dangerous. A Clear Case. "Senator," she asked, "do you be lieve in the survival of the fittest?" '"I do," he replied "as long as the fittest has the patronage to dis tribute." The Mean Kind. "It appears it was the gift of seven cigars that revealed the hiding place of Aguinaldo. " I smoked one of the sort the other night." What sort?" "The sort that is mean enough to make a man betray his grandmother. " GET WET! THE ORIGINAL OILED CLOTHING- (APE n BUKA OK TCLLOW IN ON EVER' rt6l ntsAirUsK. CATALOGUED EREE HOWIHfi FULL LINE OF GARMENTS AND HATS. A.J.T0WERCO..B03TON.MA3S. M . P. H. U. He. 31-1S0U WHEN writing; te advertisers please mentian this paper. JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon, Foot of Morrison Street, Can give you the best bargains in Buggies, Plows, Boilers and Engines,' Windmills and Pumps and General Machinery. See us before buying. Where do You Sell Your Hides? try me. We alwars pay the Highest Price. Ghas. Lm Mas tick & Go 75 Front St., cor. Oak, Portland, Or. Summer Resolution!, TAKE THE Keetey Cure Eure relief fiom liquor, opinm and tobacco habiti. Bend for particulars to Keetey Institute. Moved to 420 Williams Ave., fast Side. PRINCE, Portland, Oregon. Catalogue Furnished Upon Application. Secures patents for inventions in the United States and foreign countries. Also negotiates mar kets and defends patent inven tions. No better terms or facilities than we offer obtainable any where. Payment of our ' fees may be deferred till patent is allowed. Write for pamphlet. Hotel Flavel Opens for season June 23, 1901. Col. J. F. Harvey. Manager THE "MONTEREY" OF OREGON. Host beautiful and perfectly equipped sum. mer resort. Every convenience and comfort. Free bus from hotel to surf. Bathing, fishing, dancing, bowline;. A splendid hotel with lovely surroundinirs. TJuder new management this year. For ratca and reservations address HOTEL F LAV EL, Flmrml, On. Or J. L. MITCHELL, s B1 6 Marquam Bldg., Portland, On. HILL MILITARY ACADEMY, A Private School For boarding and day papils. Oiens September 18. Fine new building. The principal has had twenty-three years experience in Portland. Cor respondence solicited, tor catalogues address J. W. HIXI., M. D., P. O. drawer 17, Portland, Or. SUMMER ia best time to enre Catarrh, Bronchitis and Consumption. Oar remedy is guaranteed, SL. r. vi. Box via. 1. 1. SMITH I CO., Buffalo, H. T. mi rvmcRfc. C J - Jr,nnrif-'laf'iis (H CUiitS Vrntrtt AIL HS FAILS. t 1 i Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Vm t I r J In time. Bold by drurnlsta. f 1 tiiiasai a a .,n a If jj K. T . aaf aian S i, , -,i " s , a, ii, t Ml mm -.. J kaat aaat