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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (June 25, 1901)
What are Humors? ' Thay ue vitiated or morbid fluids conn ing the reins and affecting the tissues. They are commonly doe to defective diges tion bat are sometimes Inherited. . Bow do they manifest themselves T In many forms of cutaneous eruption, salt rheum or eczema, pimples and boils, and In weakness, languor, general debility. How are they expelled t By Hood's Sarsaparilla which also builds up the system that has suffered from them. It Is the belt medicine for all humors. The Proper Term, "Why do you speak of him as a fin ished artist?", - , 'Because he told me he was utterly discouraged and was going to quit the profession. If that doesn't show that he's finished. I don't know what does." Contradictions. "Well, Digby, I'm surprised You're getting gray!" "Yes.yes; I'v got lots of gray hairs and precious tew of them." This signature is on every box of the genuine Laxative Bromo-ymnine Tablets Anxious to Serve. Lawyer It is reported that you have frequently expressed yourself as opposed to capital punishment. Deacon-Highsoul (drawn for jury duty)-i-I won't have no scruples in that man's case. He cheated me on a hoss trade once. If you wish to keep in touch with new things in photoeraphy subscribe to Camera Craft, the best photographic journal in the world. icU Butter Street, San Francisco, CaL , A Slave to Fashion. Warden What's the row over there in the cell house? Guard That embezzler says he won't stay any longer if he can't have creases in his trousers and raglan shoulders in his coat. . No Reciprocity. 'That Mrs. Simpkins didn't return my call." ' "Well, that's no matter." "No matter? She lives in the suburbs, and I spent 25 cents getting out there." Pottage te Be Reduced to One Cent. The President who succeds in getting this measure through Congress, will hold a high place in the esteem of the people, Dut no mzner oernans. tnau tne esteem iu which everybody holds Hostetter's Stom ach Bitters, This medicine gets at the starting point of the disease by acting n the stomach, helping that organ in its duty of digesting food. It cures dyspep sia. indleestion. constellation, stimulates the kidneys, and strengthens tne uerven. Be sure to try it. A Philanthropist She (hautily) I happen to know that you have proposed o two other girls this year. He Yes, dear, but l assure you was only out of compasion. CASTOR I A For Infants and Children. Use Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of DOG VVOHKS MIRACLE. HE SAVES A FAMILY FROM POORHOUSE. THE Not Only That, He Also Paid Kent, Eapp lei the Table, Provided Modi cine for a Sick - Woman, and Put Shorn on Bla Muter Feet. . This Is a story of a dog that saved a man and his wife from the poorhouse. The dog paid the rent, bought medicine for a sick woman, kept the table going for a month, and, even put shoes on his master's feet. - Flash is the name of the dog, and he Is a fox terrier. How he performed these remarkable things is best told by his owner.. "My wife and I came to Chicago about four months ago from St Louis," he said. "We had been married only a short time when I lost my position as a drug clerk. I tried for two weeks to get work at any kind of employment. but I was unable to find anything to earn a dollar at. So we decided to pick up and come to Chicago. Upon our ar rival here we got three rooms for $7 a month and settled down to housekeep ing as soon as the furniture arrived. "It was right after the holidays that we landed here, and I found the drug no way of knowing whether she gave him that coin, and that if she did she probably got It from some other con ductor. """-:,. 'Yon give It to him all right enough. I seen you," said the large-featured woman across the aisle. The only reply to this was a glare that never touched the volunteer wit ness. But the angry woman had an other string to her bow. The conductor was chewing gum. "See here, sir," and there was a veritable rip-saw edge on her voice; "you go outside and finish your lunch. We can fix this thing np afterward." ''..-' There was a titter along both sides. the conductor was redder than a toy balloon as he ran the gantlet and the question of the plugged coin was not resumed. ' ,. Piso's Cure for Consumption Is an infal lible medicine for coughs and colds. N. W. 3amuki. Ocean Grove, N. J., Feb. 17, muo. Knew His Business. Hostess Dear me, the conversation is flagging. What can we do to amuse our guests? Host I don t know, unless we leave the drawing room for a few min utes and give them a chance to talk about us. ' BEST FORTH JIVELS If roe haven't a regular, nealthr movement of the bowels every day, you're sick, or will be. Keep your bowels open, and be well. Force, in tbe snaps of violent physic or pill poison, is dangerous. Tbe lisnootbest. easiest, most perfect way oivmpuut (be ecwsls clear and dean Is to take . Mutt Economize. "I would like to sell you an auto mobile." ""' - ' "I'd like to buy it, too, but I can't. My daughter has just cabled me that she has married the Duke De No coyne." - . - The) Bait Prescription for Malaria Chills and Fever is a bottle of Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic It is simply iron and quinine in a tantfrtfwi lorm. no .ure, no ray. nice ouc. Longevity of Qj ten's Train-Bearer j. - All the eight ladies who acted as train bearers to the queen on her wed ding day, 63 years ago, are still alive. All save one are married. The Lady Victoria Howard is the one exception. State of Ohio, crrr or tolido, i Lucss County. Frank j. chkhkv makes oath that he Is the senior parter of the firm of F. J. Chkney & Co., doing business in the City of Toledo, County and State aforesaid, and that said firm will pav the sum ol ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every case of Catarrh that cannot be cured oy tne use ox hall s catarrh uurk. Sworn to before me and subscribed in mr presence, this Sth day of December, a. D. 1886. t-Tri A. W.GLEASON, I I Notary Public Hall's Catarrh Core is taken internally and sets direetly on theblood and mucous surfaces of the system. Send for testimonials, free. r. j. rx&naii et wH xoieao, v. f WI CATHARTIC . vl"Sw vradsimmk mummm-d S Pleasant, Palatable. Potent. Taste Good. Do Good, lever Sicken, Weaken, or Gripe. lOo, 60c Write or free sample, and booklet on bealtb. Address ' ssiHit a st cp a, rsui, aiiimi, avwi a, an KEEP YOUR BLOOD GLEAN Wanted a Clear Understanding "I am sorry, sir," said the surgeon, but we shall have to perform an oper ation." "I know you're not sorry, doctor," said the man with the appendicitis. "You are glad. And now we under stand each other, doctor, you can go ahead." - ' TO CUBIC JL COLD IK OS! DAT Take Laxative Brorno Quinine Tablets. All flruggisU refund the money if It falls to cure. tW. Grove's signature is on each box. 26c. Took, the Blow. "To think that an American ban ner should ever stand a blow without returning it." "When did that happen?". "To the weather bureau storm flag in the last cyclone." - WROTE COLUMNS OF LEADERS. Sir Edwin Arnold Could Fill an Edi torial rage with Baa. Sir Edwin Arnold, whose recent long illness has left him totally blind, was one of the most prolific writers in Eng land. He was for years connected with the London Telegraph, and It is said in the office that he has written over 10,000 leaders for the paper, in addition to which vast Journalistic output he has contrived to write some twenty or thirty volumes of poetry and literature and to visit all parts of the world. It Excess of Women in Norway. In consequence of emigration. there is a greater preponderance of women in Norway than in almost any other country ih Europe. The. cen sus of 1891 showed that there was an excess of women over men of almost 70,000, while in 1876 this excess amounted to only 43,000. The limit Buster I am having . awful , luck. I am now down to my last dollar. Dedbroke Pshaw, that's coining! Wail till vour are down to the last dollar of your last friend. ' " Just Like Dick. ... . . , Easyman Your brother Dick did me out of f 10 last night. . Miss Wearie That's just like Dick. He's always doing some ridiculous thing. " , rr:i Revised In Time. , "Miss Strong," he began, "will you be mine? That is to say, er " She had knottd her fair brows in a frown. ,' "Er that is, may I be yours?" . "Yes," she said, with a smile. Why a Woman la Ablo to Hmip Sick Woman When Doctor Fall ; How gladly would men fly to wo man's aid did they but understand a woman's feelings, trials, sensibilities, and peculiar organic disturbances. Those things are known only to women, and the aid a man would give is not at his command. To treat a case properly it is neces sary to know all about it, and full information, many times, cannot be given by a woman to her family phy sician. She cannot bring herself to tell everything, and the physician is " Engijin Candor. Stern Parent So you want to mar ry my daughter, eh? .Well, sir, what have you to live on? Young Brokeugh If I succed in marrying' her, I'll have you.".". tot; know what tot; abb taking When vou take Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic, aimy printea on every simply Iron and Qui- because the formula is plainly printed on every bottle showing that it is simply Iron and Qui nine in a tasteless form. No Cure, Nf Vaj. 50c. Bold by druggists, 76c. ssau-s ramuy nils are the best. 'No Change. "There has been quite a change in Backbite, hasn't there?" .' -'"How so?" ' "He has taken to driving a motor car.". "I can't see that that's any change. He will still continue to run down his neighbors." Accuracy above everything else is needed in photography. , Our new balance scale weighs a grain as easy as an ounce. Price $3.00. At deal ers, or Kirk, Geary & Co., 330 Sutter St., San Francisco. . . ; visiting remarked Dissapointed the Farmer, "That city man that was me is an overrated cuss, the farmer. - O: - .: "How so?" "Oh, the papers all said he was a great hand at watering stock, but I found he couldn't w6rk the pump five minutes without lameing his arm. " Sir Edwin became connected with the "Largest Circulation." That such a man would very soon get to the head of affairs was a foregone conclusion. As an editor he was loved and respect ed by all who had to deal with him, for while his knowledge Is prodigious and his Judgment unrivaled his cour tesy Is unfailing. In one respect Sir Edwin Arnold will suffer less In his affliction than many might, for his memory is so prodigious that though reading may be denied hinv he need never lack the delights of lit erature. A striking Instance of Sir Ed win's extraordinary power In this di rection has been recorded by Major. Pond In his recent book in connection with the visit paid by Sir Edwin to Walt Whitman. -The American poet had presented him with a volume of his "Leaves of Grass," and Major Pond In the presence of both was reading aloud a random line, whereupon Sir Edwin stopped him, observing, "Let me go on from there," saying which he took up the lines and without a break recited the whole poem. "Try me any where else,"' he said at tbe end, and. Major Pond complying, Sir Edwin capped every line he named without a break and showed his perfect familiar ity with the book from end to end. No wonder that Walt Whitman was ' de lighted with such a signal compliment from his fellow bard. the out His Share. 'What we want to do," said worried man, "is to take money of politics." : 'Well," answered Senator Sor ghum, "I have done my best in that direction. I have taken four or five thousand dollars out of it up. to the present time." To Prevent Talk. BSVS PMuMitlr S 1 1 9 after firt day's nseof Tlr. Kline'sGreat Nern Bestorar. Send far PRE K 8 i.OO trud bottle and treat its. na.a.iLKuss,Ud..ll31 Arch St.. Philadelphia. Pa. Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth ing Syrup the best remedy to rise lor their children during the teething period. Coal Miners by the Million, Over 2,000,000 miners are required to produce the world's supply of coal. Of this number, 63,660 are employed in Great Britain and 401,220 are em ployed in the United States. :0 Prom the "VodeveeL" : L "Well," asked the spiritualistic fortune teller's next door neighbor, "how's business?" .. . "Oh, medium." A Former Conquest v. He But why do you . want me to ask Binnleigh to the house? She Why do you wear your medal? He It represents . that -victorious campaign I went through before we married. She So does he. Stop tho Cough mnd - Vortot Off thm Cold. Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure a cold la one day. .No cure, No Pay. Price 26 cents. - . ': am, ; He--Cissie, I've heard it said that a kiss without a moustache is like an egg without salt. Is that so? . She Well, really, I don't know. I can't tell, for, you see, I've never He Ah, now! . She Never eaten an egg without salt. Wild Life In the House. "Have you ever had any trifling ad ventures, Penelope? . i -. - T . i it. r hnalnosa ovon alnnror In nlm than I i l. i i lnut 1 I X CM. Vjnce i. BtOOU Oil 111B HI 111 Ol it was in St. Loals. There were a few the Athenaeum for a leader-writer that RLcouch tx wmdow curtaln'J oXlvloa.n. i i , j win. I me cuuuo uuub uurusa iuo iuuui mm to day for drug clerks, but it was al ways my luck to be too late. After the second week I began to answer any kind of an advertisement of help want ed. Being a stranger In the city I had difficulty in looking up places, and 1 was slow In getting to addresses be cause I did not want to, spend any money for car fare. When I arrived here I had less than $30, and the little pile was growing smaller day by day. and by the end of March our money was about gone. Now I'll tell you about the dog. He is one that my wife raised from a pup py. I wanted to sell him to a friend in St Louis when we left, but The wife wouldn't listen to it. She said she wouldn't come to -Chicago unless Flash came with her. He is a pedigreed fox and Is worth $25 of anybody's money. It was election day, tbe 2d of April I will never forget It that my wife tied a blue ribbon round the dog's neck and told me to take him out and sell him. We were flat broke - and she thought I could get at least $10 for the dog. Sbe cried a little when I left home, and it seemed as If the dog knew what was going on. ' I brought him down to Madison and Dearborn streets, and I wasn't there two hours before I sold him. He is such a prettily marked little fellow that everybody who pass ed stopped to look at him. - I set a price of $10 on him, because I knew nobody "would pay more than that More than fifty persons asked me the price and when I would tell them they would walk away, saying, 'he's a nice dog, but I don't care to pay that much.' I finally came down to $5. because the wife was sick and In need of medicine. and I thought best to get It as soon as possible. A woman with gold-bowed spectacles bought him and . took him home. I didn't ask her where she liv ed, and I don't know to this day. "The second day after that the dog returned home. Where he came from or how he got back I don't know. My wife was so glad to see him that she forgot her sickness for awhile.' She was fondling the dog and talking baby talk to him .when the thought occur red to me to take him out and sell him again. 'Maybe he'll run away from his next master and come back : to us again', I said to the wife, and we both laughed heartily. I took the dog down town in the afternoon and had no' trou ble in selling him again for $5. - The next morning before we were up he was back at the little flat on Center avenne. He seemed to understand why. he was being sold, and he expressed his approval of the scheme by laugh ing and talking." . That may sound strange to some people who do not un derstand dogs, but it is a fact that dbgs laugh and talk just the same as human beings. During the month of April I sold the dog seven times, getting $3 for him each time. If It hadn't been for him we certainly would have been com- pelled to apply to the county agent for relief. The wife was In need of medi cal attention,, and it Is probable she would have had to go to the poorhouse. The $35 I got for the dog paid the rent and all other expenses, besides buying a pair of shoes for me. I got a posi tion the first of May, and I guess we will have smooth sailing from now on. All the -money In the world would not Induce my wife or myself to part with the. dog, who really saved us from the poorhouse. Chicago Inter Ocean. The Trees of Paris. : - Paris Is probably the only city in the world which has trees that bloom twice a year habitually. These are the horse chestnuts. There are seventeen thou sand of them planted in the squares and boulevards, and twenty-six' thousand buttonwoods. The trees Of Paris are numbered, just like the people, the cabs, the animals, the lampposts and the matches. These horse chestnuts have only been doing this trick for about five years, and only some of them have made a practice of it. These die. or apparently die. In the latter part of July, and all the leaves fall off. A month or so afterward they all come out into flower again and little green leaves shoot forth continually until they are nipped by the first frost There is a reason for this, and the scientists worked over, the matter for a long time to be able to explain It Briefly and unscientificallythe trees lose their leaves because they are attacked by a little fungus which is blown upon them by the wind; then," being still full of sap, they start to put forth leaves all over again. - ; i llttiiij!is$i THE MOST. DESTRUCTIVE OF ALL HUMAN DISEASES. The poison ejected from the fangs of the rattle- - snare is not more surely fatal than the virus of jj Prmtncrirmn Plnnrl Pninrm. whirls -rmllirhea anrl vitiatea the blood, destroys the tissues and bones and eats like rn a canker sore into the flesh. . This horrible disease appears first in tie form of a little Bore or blister ; soon the glands begin to swell, pimples break out on the body, the mouth and throat become sore, making it painful to eat or swallow ; dreadful ulcers appear on the tongue, copper colored splotches and other characteristic signs of Blood Poison come as the disease progresses, and the destructive virus takes deeper hold upon the system. The medical men are as sorely perplexed over the character of this blood poison as ever ; they tell yon to take mercury and potash alternately for three years, but the stomach of no human being can stand this treatment long ; besides, they do . . . -. . . A, . . : . l , . HOT, cure ue aisease permanently, aa mmiwnus wuw nave men il kjiuw. Turkish Rhubarb. Possessing a savor ail its own, we come on scores of large cases full of big. Jregular blocks of a bright yellow- colored root Rhubarb, ' says our guide, Indicating it'Ah! then it comes from Turkey V we cry, joyfully, glad to display our learning for once, but our friend " smiles contemptuously. There Is no such thing as Turkey rhu barb, he says, "ana, what is more, there never has been." All the rhubarb of commerce halls from China, reach ing us through Russia for the most part, but because In olden days it made its Journey by way of Turkey, it be- Towne You forgot to tip the bar ber just now, "didn't you? " " . . Browne Oh, no! I always tip him before he begins work on me, and I give him to understand that the tip is intended for "hush money." - A MONTANA GIRL She Was Pale and Bloodless, But Now Has a Good Complexion. Her Ailments Gone. From the Pioneer Press, Su Paul, Minn. Prom Florence, Ravalli county, Mont., comes a cheerfuL letter, the writer of which is willing to tell how she obtained the rich glow of health that thousands of women are envious to possess." Before she found : the right remedy she was in that pale, emaciated condition which doctors call anaemic, and which, if neglect ed, inevitably means early death. Miss : May Smith, whose address is given in the first words of this ar ticle, says: ; About five years ago I became ill without apparant cause and I grew worse until I was completely run down.-. The least exertion would bring on a very severe pain in the pit of my stomach. At other times I would have a pain in my head, some thing like neuralgia. ' My kidneys were very weak and my limbs always felt tired. I was troubled, with short ness of breath and I had a pale, blood less appearance. There was smoth ering sensation about : my heart, which would beat heavily, with fits of palpitation. For - three years I was under, the care of two doctors, neither of whom seemed to know the nature of my trouble. They treated me for dyspepsia, ulceration of the stomach, gastritus and neuralgia, but without good results. : ."Two years ago, when I saw an ad vertisement in a St. Paul paper of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale Peo ple, I bought a box and - began taking tnem. xhev helped me so much that I kept . on with them until I had taken five boxes alto gether, : and became : well : and strong again. " I gained in flesh and they gave me a healthy color, I have great faith in Dr. Williams1 Pink Pills for Pale People, - and take them every" spring and fall as a blood medicine and for the general building up of my system. "I have recommended Pink Pills to many people who are suffering much as I was, and they have all been bene fited. My younger sister, whose skin Mas O. H. CHArrELXk at a constant disadvantage. This Is whv. for the past twenty-five years. thousands of women have been con-r tiding their troubles to us, and our advice has brought happiness and health to countless women in the U.S. Mrs. Chappell, of Grant Park,. I1L, whose portrait we publish, advises all suffering women to use Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound, as it cured her of inflammation of the ovaries and womb ; she, therefore, speaks from knowledge, and her experience ought to give others confidence. Address Mrs. Pinkham's Laboratory, Lynn, Mass. lit Knew the Sex. Teacher What gender is the word money? Johnnie Feminine. Teacher Feminine? How do you make that out? Johnnie Well, money talks. - Taste Good, Da Good. Don't sicken and ruin vourstomach with Dill poison. Eat Cascarets like candy, harmless. agreeable to the stomach, do the work. guis, 1UC, zoc, wo. Drug- The Truth Forced Home. "I'm afraid, " she sighed, "that I'm getting old." " - - "Why?" he asked. ;- ' "When I go to the grocery now. the clerks don't nearly break their necks trying to beat one another in getting my orders. " Hotel Flavel Opens for season June 23, 1901. CoL J. F. Harvey, Manacer t V-- w' THE "MONTEREY" OF OREUON. Most beautiful and perfectly eqnlpped lum- jivery convenience ana, eomiort. mer resort. Free bus from hotel to surf. dancinsr, bowline. lovely surroundings. Under new mam tnis year. Jttatnlng, nsninir. A splendid hotel with Under new management For raUs and reservations address HOTEL FLAVEL, Flmrml, Orm. Or J. L. MITCHELL, CIS Mmrquam Bldg., Portland, Orm. FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES. FREE TO FARMERS Our 1901 Vehicle Book Our ISOI Implement Catalogue JUST 'ISSUED. Bend your name and P. O. address and we will mall one or both, as desired, free of all charge. Mitchell, Lewis & Staver Co., buy the Mccormick The McCormick machines are the most Mod ern. . They are the pride of the new century; highest in awards at the .Paris exposition Built best work best are best. ' With every test they prove the best. ItePrapeTonsftrmgahgrolBsa, First and Taylor Sts. PORTLAND, OR. Call on the agent, or address for catalogues. A. H.BOYLAN, Gen'IAgl rOBTLAKD, OREGON The perfection of Wall Plaster, Is the only material with which repairing can be done neatly and to stay. If you have never used it send and get a trial lot. It will pay yon. For information address Agents wanted In every town. THE ADAMANT CO., : Foot of Uth Street, Portland, Ormgon. "ADAMMiT" LAND PLASTER Chas. L. Mastick & Co. 75 Front Street, Cor. Oak Portland, Oregon. . r CASH BUYERS OF HIDES, PELTS AND TALLOW. Consignments solicited. Pay highest market price. PROMPT.; RETURNS. Dealers in Leather- and Findings. -. , , . f ... Refer to Wells. Fargo & Co. .Bank, Portland, Oregon. . Cure Your Horses oTwftS PRUSSIAN HEAVE POWDERS. . :7 . AT DEALERS. 60c; BY MAIL, SOc. CUBED THIRTY-FOUR HOBSES. , v - i- Prussia Rbmedy Co., St. Paul, Minn. . Gbxtlbmem: I have been using the Prussian Hkatb Pow .troa ! t-io -i trVif mnnth.. and 4n that time havecnred 1 lhorses of heaven. 1 of distemoer and 9 of chronic cough. . Yonr Prussian Remedies have gained a great reputation in this section. E. J. HimisT brhnckr. Newark. N.Y. BOW EN, Coast Agent, Portland, Oregon. came known as Turkey rhubarb, and ; is pale and transparent, is now taking Turkey rhubarb It will remain because . them to restore her color." of the conservative tendencies of the British publlCj-Good Words. :J, PLAYED HER LAST CARD. Bow Her Many Vexations Finally Cnl- - . minated on the Car. One explanation is that she was not in a good humor when she- took the car. She had seen a big man beating a little horse and .when she had pro tested after the manner of an excited woman he had told her to "Gwa'n an' enase yerseir, ana when sne got a policeman he would make no arrest un til she had agreed to make a com plaint and she had not gone forty feet before she rued this -rash pledge to appear in the role of a prosecuting wlt- : Young Choir Singers, i Grace Church. New York, boasts of the youngest choir singers In the world. Every Sunday afternoon a chorus of baby jdrls takes .part In the service. The youngest two of this band are only 4 years old hardly able to walk and yet they chant in perfect unison, clear ly and distinctly. ' Each small girl wears a full white apron and a closely fitting baby cap, and they are a pic turesque lot.". WEXJUNGTOH, XAS., Sept., 1900. X contracted Blood Poison two years ago this fall, and was persuaded to try a medicine widely adver tised, by a remedy company la Chicago. X waa re quired to pay at large amount la advance, and eaa trnthfnUy say that I waa worse when the treatment waa left off than, whea X began. Keddiab, pimples would break oat and fill with yellowish matter ; copper-colored splotches, ot all elaee would appear oa my body ; my throat waa so sore X could searoely swallow, and my month and tonga were seldom tree from ulcers ; tonsils were swollen, and my hair was com ing out rapidly. This waa my oondltioa whea I began your B. 8. B. X hare aaed twenty-two bottles, and tun feeling splendid. Every gore ea my body haa healed, and my appetite good. - JAU lsUATTV. S. a S. is the only guaranteed purely Vege table blood purifier, and the only antidote for this particular virus; it purifies the blood and builds np the constitu tion. The appetite im proves almost from the first dose, the sores soon show signs of healing, and the unsightly, dirty splotches and eruptions grow paler ana paler, 1 and finally disarmear. Si S. S. is not a new medicine ; for nearly 50 years it has been known and used for this dreadful disease. It has brought new life and hope to thousands all over this land : it will cure you as it has others. Send for our free book on home treatment and write our physicians about your case. We will help yon if you will let as: we make no charge for advice, and all correspondence is conducted iu fict confidence. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY, ATLANTA, fiA. The car started as soon as both her feet were on the steps and her voice was sharp when she told the conductor that every passenger had to make a run and jump to get aboard. - For her part she wished that electricity had never been harnessed. - People needed eyes in the backs of their heads these days. Owing to her agitated frame of mind it was not unnatural that she should hand the conductor a plugged quarter, says the Detroit Free Press. He was at first disposed to pocket the coin and the implied reflection on his ability to look after the Interests of the com pany, but her curt request for the right change was her undoing. "This is no good" to me, madam, he said, quietly; "It Is plugged." I Being address as "madam" when she does not enjoy that felicity may .have tended to break her up still more. At In China. Ah, now, at last, we made occasion to observe, the situation was perfectly plain. The Chinese smiled bitterly. "Then you can head or tael out of it, after all."' exclaimed they. We were left in no doubt whatever that this was a veiled sarcasm touch ing the decapitations and the Indemni ties, but we professed not to be in the least cut Detroit JournaL Signed. . MAY SMITH. . - At all druggists or direct from Dr- Williams Medicine Co., Sche nectady, N. Y., on rceeipt of price, 50 cents per box; six boxes $2.50. Lopped It Off. Towne Has he sent you a check f jr your services? "Browne Yes, but it isn't for 1 the amount I expected, although I sent him a bill. . . TowneeYour writing's bad. May be he didn't decipher the amount. ; : Browne I'm afraid he did de-cipher it. I wrote 100 very plainly, and he sent $10. ' ' No Suggestions. "I must say," remarked the physi cian, "your husband is in a bad way. Any arrangements you may want to make" ..- - ' ' "Oh, doctor;" she cried, "I could never think of marrying "again. " 'A At-di' (Vs (Vs is s m (US as & fa fa fa fa What Does It Cost? We have just issued an excellent little Cat alogue on Fence subjects,, Full .illustrations; all the newest Fence information. A postal . card will bring it to you. ".."..-.. - - tr " " . - " Portland Anchor Fence Co. 743 Nicolai St., Portland, Or. VI SI M Steel Houses for Venezuela. A New- York bridge company has taken contracts for about .100 portable steel houses, for shipment to Venezue la, where such structures, it is said. find a ready market in view or the frequent, earthquakes. These steel IFITBEAaS MIS TRADE MARK " Sorrows of Research. . ' "Did you succeed . in finding any illustrious ancestors?'" - " .. "No, but I scared np a lot of kin folks that I didn't want to -know at all.". ." - 1 . x 1 f m IT l& THE REST WATERPROOF OILED COAT IN THE WORLD. MADL FOR StRVICt ! "ArlvertiHin 18 one er de fus laws nf FVERyWti.rrrUTCJ. iu wr nurrw avrssMrs houses, which are one story, weign MiA Uncle Eben. "A hen' ; .TAlteiw" CATALOfiUB tree - business is layin aigs, an' ev'y time she completes a transaction she stahts right in to cackle." ; -. .- ; about twenty tons each. Too Much. The Young Man I suppose, sir, that when , I become tormaiiy engaged to your daughter you will admit me as a member of the arm. -The Father Well, I don't know. I dou't feel as if I could afford the ex- any rate, she announced that she had penae of both of these things Just now. SHOWING PULL LINE OP GARMENT AND HATS. I A.J.T0WER CO., BOSTON. MASS. I "lSJ GURUS WHtUt All 11S FAILS. 0 I K"4 Best Cough Brrup. Tastes Sooa. Use f j : 1 SM " " ' " I M M . .1 IJ iV JL. Springtime Resolutions iieoley Gur Sure relief from liquor, opium and tobacco habit). Send for particulars to Moved to 4ZO Williams ,,: t , A Living Example, - -"We are what we feed on,", quoted Mr.iHixson, laying down his book, "and I am willing to say the author is right. For instance" "I am already a believer, " Mrs. Hixson interrupted. 'You will- in sist on having lobster for supper always." " . And Mr. Hixson, mortified,'; grew very red- . . . " JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon, root of Morrison Street, - Can give you. the best targaina in Buggies, Plows, Boilers" and Engines, Windmills and .Pumps and -General Machinery. See ns before buying. -tU iteetoy Institute. Ave., Kast Side. SOULIER I. H. SMITH Is best time to cure Catarrh, Bronchitis and Consumption. Our remedy Is guaranteed, SI. P.O. BoxS-13. CO., Buffalo, K. Y. H. F. H. V. Jle. ss-asea. WHBN WTttinr t advertisers plua Bseatloaj this papest .