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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 15, 1901)
The Truth About Tobias. nT took Hanora quite a time to find out the truth about Tobias. Not that Tobias could ordinarily be con sidered a mysterious individual. In deed, . he was precisely the reverse. From the cool dawn hour In which he arose to go forth and drive the team for Twist & Taffeta, of which firm he was trusted collector, until his return at 6:30 to the modest flat where his sis terand supper awaited him, his life was a clean and commonplace page, spread wide for every casual or inter ested glance. His nights. If less ex posed to the arc lights of public scru tiny, might as well have been so. For, after eating heartily of the food Hanora had prepared and referring to the same In admiring terms, he was wont to re move his shoes as unnecessary Impedi menta, place his feet in their well darned hose upon the chair "beyant," light his pipe, drink the solitary bottle of beer Hanora permitted him, and read the mighty accumulation of both morn ing and evening papers until the auto cratic spinster who ruled his abode sug gested "a decade," and turned the lamp low by way of a gentle but quite suffi cient bint. Tobias was 40 plus five. He had a brickdust skin, pale brows, a pugna cious nose, and a smile of such sudden, suffusing, apologetic radiance it ex plained his love for his fellow-men in general and for Hanora in particular. Indeed, his was the only love that had ever come Hanora's way. She had never been guilty of that form of high way robbery known as coquetry. Not that she was unsophisticated. She knew that a woman quick of perception and adroit of finger may appropriate the purse of one who walks her way and suffer incarceration. And she knew also that one who possesses her self of an unappropriated masculine heart not only goes free in the sight of lilt HAD XH ol.O MAID Blaii.ll 1-lViMU WITH HIM. ' the law, but glories if she will In her guile and in the magnitude of her deed, Whether the bonds of Inopportune ty had shackled Hanora Ryan or whether she had preferred maiden triumph to the exultation of matronhood deponent say eth not. Anyhow, to get back to the truth about Tobias. -On one memorable midsummer eve be devoured lemon pie without protest. Hanora knew he loathed lemon pie. On the following morning he meekly ate the French toast she set before him, Instead of his regulation potato and rasher. This was her second test For Tobias had frank ly declared only two weeks ago that he would eat no more French, or Flem ish, or no, begorrah Boer toast, that "was made of stale bread dipped In egg and fried! So there! She began to feel suspicious. He was a good brother, but alarmingly docile when presented with viands for which he possessed an aversion. She was like the parrot which its owner declared "said little but done a devil of a heap of thinkin'!" She thought a good deal in those days. When Tobias suggested bringing a friend home with him to dinner she thought more han ever, albeit she pos sibly said less. "To "be bringin a man here for a male!" quoth she. "What kind of a man might he be now, Tobias?" "Sthraight as they make 'em!" promptly - responded Tobias. "He drives the 'rush' bus. He's a good wan. He'd relish one of your raspberry rolls that he would, Hanora!" Whereat Hanora blushed in a wintry sunset sort of way and said he might bring his - friend. He did bring his friend. And to tell the truth Hanora looked exceedingly well. She had given her old black silk skirt a "dip," whatever that mysterious phraseology may mean. And she wore with this a shirt waist of softest lawn, which she had bought at quite an ab surd .figure because it was one of the smaller sizes. This she had duly and delicately laundered. Not that "The household art was the only dower She would bring for a gift to him she wed." But the household art shone up In re splendence on that particular night. Never, thought treacherous Tobias, with a glow at his heart, bad any man such a sister, and If It were not for the here be broke off In an agony of de ception which made him temporarily oblivious of the merits of the raspberry roll. "Yon ain't eat a bite!" avowed Hano ra. Tobias made a sweeping gesture across his Adam's apple. "Clear to here!" be declared with delicious men dacity. . After supper they went into the par lor. Hanora played on the organ yes. and sang, too, in a sweet thin little voice. She sang "The Meeting of the Waters" and "The Kerry Dancing" and the "Wearing of the Green." No rag time for Hanora. "She's a jewel!" commented Dennis Maguire, addressing Tobias Ryan, when they parted on the - sidewalk. "Ain't ain't" timidly,, "there any wan a-coortln'J" v "Nivir a wan!" returned Tobias. . He felt so guilty upon bis return he cquld hardly make the proper responses to the-"decade" which Hanora was "giving out" He did not come home until 10 o'clock the following night . ' 1 Wt 1 fJSIB l Jff. I nor yet the next. He explained his ab sences by mysterious allusions to "cau cuses" and "primaries," thereby sooth ing Hanora and stultifying his con science. It was not until Hanora found a rose in the buttonhole of his coat one morning and a Httle lace trimmed hand kerchief in bis pocket that her direst doubts were aroused. But even these Tobias explained away. "Sure the flower cost nothln. Hanora. 'Twus from a bush I was passln. And the handkerchief was on the sidewalk. I thought belike you could make use of it" He was rapidly becoming a beautiful liar. A week later he refused to go out with Hanora and Dennis on account of the night being damp. He had rheu matism, he said. So his sister and his friend went to the theater and Tobias settled himself to the composition of a long and fervent letter, the accomplish ment of which necessitated frequent reference to the pocket dictionary he had bought for this purpose. To make a long story short and It was not such a long story when,all was said Hano ra married Dennis Maguire. Tobias was desolate disconsolate. He might go to live with them. Dennis had won a treasure. Yes, he might go to live with them after a while. . For the pres ent he would take his meals at a res taurant until sure what could be done with the furniture and so on. All through her wedding Journey, which lasted full three weeks, it trou bled Mrs. Maguire to determine what was the matter with Tobias. She told her new made lord all about his even ing absences, his mild acceptance of distasteful viands, his abrupt and eager hospitality toward Dennis even about the rose and handkerchief. It was not until she had returned to Chicago and went out to the flat where had been passed her years of mature maiden hood that she really discovered the truth about Tobias. "T For the flat Into which she let her self with her latch key was altered, decorated. Illumined. There were cur tains, of rosy swissoline at the win dows. There were a lot of flowers on the table. A canary sang in a gilded cage, and what was that? A parasol in the corner a hat on the sewing ma chine! Such a frivolous hat all chif fon and daisies! Hanora turned quite faint. Could Tobias "Oh," cried aradiant little creator fluttering out of one of the Pullman car apartments which serve as bed rooms in the modern- fiat, "I did not know" any one was here. Take this chair. You are Mrs. Larch, I know. Tobias said the wife of his friends jn the shipping department would call, We are not really fully settled yet. Out wedding was quite a surprise to out friends, but really we had been con sidering it for some time. I was In the ribbons, you know, and became ac quainted with Mr. Ryan while at the store. - But it seems he had an old! maid sister living with him, and having a girl's-natural distaste for relations-ln-law though doubtless some of them are kind enough, I suggested to Tobias that it Would be betted to marry her off if possible before why what For Mrs. Dennis Maguire had risen in aghast and stately discomposure. "I am bis sister," she said. "Dear, O, dear! I'm so sorry! I didn't know nor suspect I wish I had kept stun Take off your things! Stay to supper! There there!" You're sweet as you can be and I'll love you if you let me Indeed, I will." ' , 4 Americans in Knee-Breeches. Hon. John W. Foster, former Secre tary of State and one of the most wide ly experienced of American diplomats, tells in the Saturday Evening Post in terestmg and 'amusing. Instances of American diplomats and court cos tumes. The ladies will be interested in knowing that in diplomacy extreme consideration is given to the kind of clothes which the representatives wear. In the course of the article Mr. Foster says: - ' . "Some ministers have made them selves ridiculous by securing an ap pointment in the State militia and mak ing use of that uniform. A story is told of one of our representatives at a European court who appeared at the palace In the garb of a captain of a cavalry . troop, a post he had filled at home, which led the monarchical diplo mats, attracted by his metal helmet, quizzically to ask if he belonged to a fire companyln America! The instruc. tlons of the Department of State now In force construe the law to allow of such a departure from a simple dress as will secure our diplomats welcome admittance at court ceremonies. "For instance, the members of the United States embassy In London ap pear on state occasions In knee breech es, with metal buckles on their shoes. and in other respects in ordinary even, ing dress." ' . Really Too Bad. The fair young society lady was In an agitated frame of mind when she re turned from a shopping expedition the other day. - "Why, Dorothy, what In the world la the matter?" asked her indulgent bus band, who read distress in her pretty face. "Oh, dear," she said, her voice trem bling with emotion. . "I've lost the re ceipt for my new hat" "Well;'' tne husband replied, 'It. 1 very easy to go back to the store and get another receipt. I don't see why you should let a little matter like that worry you." v . ' "It isn't that," was the sobbing re ply, "but I'm afraid that some one we know will find that receipt and learn how much I paid for It" Detroit Free Press. - ' Profits of a Convict Mine. - The Tennessee convict coal mine is a paying institution. The profits In the last six months will amount to more than $100,000. ,'..-' ; : Men do not agree on what Is the "unpardonable sin," but among wom en It is an unpardonable sin for one woman to recommend a dressmaker who ruins a garment. -- SHE RESENTS "RULES." Wife By Her Husband Plaster th - Hon with Orders. George S. Edgar, of Allegheny, Pa, received a fortune of $200,000 from bis father's estate several years ago. Re cently his wife appealed to the courts to have the ironey placed In her care for the support of herself and family! alleging her husband was an habitual drunkard, posted notices throughout the house for her' guidance, kpnt wealthy friends from visiting her, and i she had to extract money from him to live on while he was In drunken stu pors, says the Syracuse Herald. Part of the rules posted by Edgar were read In court, as follows: "I am to be boss of the house. .1 am to be master .and head aof the house, and must be respected. I am to handle all moneys. No servants shall be em ployed without consulting me. No ser vants shall be dismissed without con sulting me. My wife shall not speak to servants unless It Is extremely nec essary. My wife shall not dismiss help without my consent, unless it is under extreme provocation; then she can dis miss them during my absence or with out my consent. All purchases, such as vegetables, groceries, clothing for wife and children, to be bought with my personal consent or by written or der. My children shall be taught to respect me. In correcting my children no pick handles, rolling pins or sad irons shall be used. No presents shall be given to anyone nor old clothing dis posed of without my consent. Nothing whatever shall be bought without con sulting me. "AH parties whose names appear on card. In hall rack shall be excluded from my bouse;' and other parties that I mention hereafter, namely: , Dr. C. J. Knaur, for having me come to R. B. Scandrett's office, an old schoolmate of mine, thereby humiliating me; Mrs. C. J. Knaur, for going to Joe Walts, friend of mine, and Walter Shlep and saying I was drunk" all the time; Mrs. Mary Bollenberg, for having me arrest ed for calling her a brazen hussy; Fred Bollenberg for writing me a challenge to fight a duel; Mrs. Maggie Hopkins, for saying I lived In Millionaires' row. which I consider is between Ridge and Western on Irwin avenue, while I live at 1566 Charters street, so 1 cannot live in Millionaires' row, and that my wife was not living with me because I was always drunk." Beautiful and Suitable. Show me a man's pictures and I'll show you his character." a well-known statesman once said. He referred, per haps, more particularly to collectors; butJhe same remark applies, though In a lesser degree, to the average house holder of the present day. A few very few good engravings, with a. nice water color drawing or two, tell a tale of refinement, especially If they are well hung. For, take a picture, in from the left, and hang It where the light from the nearest window is thrown on it from the right, and the beauty of the work cannot possibly be appreciated. Pay some attention, too, to the height at which the artist's light has come di rectly your pictures are suspended. Some are seen at their best when on a level with the eye, while others require some altitude to show them to advant age. When, however, a picture Is "hung high," the angle at which It is placed from the wall should be carefully stud ied and regulated by the distance from the top of the frame at which the two screw rings for Its wire are fastened. Tastes In frames vary, and no hard- and-fast line can be laid down. The hideous old "massive" gilt frames, with their detestable carving and moulding, are a thing of the past. They always seemed to be rivaling the picture itself In attracting notice. Prints -and en graving show best, I think, In Oxford frames of oak, light or dark, according to fancy, but always unvarnished. If of lijbt wood, small ebony pins at the corners, sides and top and bottom cross, are an improvement. Frames of ebonized wood harmonize with pho tographs. For water-colors I like a plain; "bead" frame of dull oil gilt; but the Vmount" must be large, and the drawing sunk a little if it is to show to advantage. Finally,' have too few rather than too rany pictures on your walls. His Reply. The following Incident is related by a correspondent of the Cleveland Plain Dealer in the South. It is told of Dr. James H. Carlisle, the venerable Pres ident of Wofford College, South Caro lina, and counselor of the great Chau tauqua system. " When 10 years old young Carlisle was attending a typical country school of the old South under the manage ment of a typical teacher of the time. a stern and scholarly old gentleman. One day little James found consider able difficulty in some of his work, and his teacher, becoming impatient took the boy's slate and, writing upon it the words, "I am a fool," gave It to the lit tie fellow, saying, "Here, James, sign your name to that" The learned pedagogue proceeded with the other lessons, but on coming back to his young charge after a time noticed that the name had not been written. Becoming angry, he demand ed In thundering tones: 'James Carlisle why did you not sign your name to that, sir?" And little James Carlisle slipped from his place on the high. rough old bench, and, looking- his teacher squarely In the eye, replied: "Because it is a lie, sir!" How Coreans Pray. A returned sojourner in Corea tells that he asked a native priest: "Tell me why you people kneel down before a stone, or piqee of wood, or any inani mate object, and pray to it? Why not pray .to God, as Christians' do?" will explain," said the devout Idolater. "Christians close their eyes and look up without seeing anything as they pray. The Coreans do not pray to the piece of stone or wood, as you imagine, but to the same good God, and select the inanimate object merely as an em blem. Instead of seeing nothing, they gaze upon God's handiwork, for God made the stone." - " About the worst thing you can say about a man la that he is "smart," and a "great reader." The trouble Is, he will do nothing but be smart, and read. Be sure you are right then pause a moment for reflection. - " t OUR BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. Joke and Jokelet that Are Supposed to Have Been Recently Born Saying and Doing that Are Old, Curious and Laughs bl -The Week's Humor. "I have known a man on a modest salary," said the Crafty Citizen, "to scrimp along for a month to save $50 and then blow $40 of It on a hunting dog when he doesn't get to go shooting once a year." Sometimes the wife of tbl same scrimpy man," observed the Inveterate Thinker, "takes the money and puts $45 of It In a love of a tailor-made gown, when she never goes any farther than two squares to see her coiisin's wife. If there were not real foolish people on earth you aud I would get no credit for wisdom." Denver News. -' Appeired to He True. Wigwam A New York doctor comes out with, an article In which he claims that American women are declining. It's stuff and nonsense. Sappehedde I don't know about that. Three of them have declined me recently. Philadelphia Record. Hie On'y Trouble. Does your wooden leg ever give you trouble?" 'Only once. Wife struck me with it." Proud of Tt. The Haughty One You ought to be proud to have me recognize you. The Common Person I am. It shows I have money. Indianapolis Press. Sinn -. Briggs Monkerly Is losing his Inter est In golf. . . Griggs What makes you think so? Briggs-I saw him at his office yes terday. Harper's Bazar. Not His Father's. Silllcus Henpeckke says his young ster is going to grow up to be a fighter. Cynicus Inherits, his mother's in stincts, I suppose. Philadelphia Rec ord. Must Keep Sisht Up. FJatte Is your boarding house up to date? Rooms You bet A fellow can't be behind a single week. . Slow About Goius. "It has always been my rule,' said Mr. Borem, "to .spend as I go." ."Indeed." exclaimed Miss Sharpe, glancing significantly at the clock..- "In that way I suppose you have saved con siderable money." Philadelphia" Press. A Necessary Lesson. ' . "Isn't it kind of these people; ma," remarked the young fish, no drop us lines with food on 'em?" "Don't you believe it" replied the mother fish. "You must learn to read between the "lines." Philadelphia Press. .. ' Didn't Show His Nose. ' Lady Didn't I tell you not to show your nose around here again? '',' Peddler Veil, did I nod gomply mit your request? ' ' Always in Practice. Mrs. Wunder We never hear of woman train robbers.' Mr. Wunder And yet the ladles are always holding up trains Baltimore American. The 8idewalk Drama. "Strutter has gone on the .stage.'' "This time o' year?" "Yes; he's plavlne with an TTncl Tom'-e Cabin Company In that depart ment store window." IndiananoIIs Journal. He Explains, Mamma Why do you call him "Jonesy?" Johnny Well, you see, his name Is Jones, but we call him "Jonesy" for short Puck. ; " The Beat He Could Do. "Give me a penny, oh, sir," said the mendicant, "and you will give me Joy." "While I cannot give you Joy," said the millionaire, "I may perhaps give you merriment, for I will giv you the laugh." Indianapolis Press. Personal Items, From the Plunkvllle Bugle: "Colonel Erastus Jarvey was In town between trains. Tuesday and made us a call. Perry Patettie came la between cars and Btruck us for a handout" Indian apolis Press. One Way of Looking at It. v "It is said that the Czar of Russia dislikes more than anything else to speak in public" . .T-..: . , - -- "That's a nice tribute to his wife." "How so?" -"He probably gets a chance to say all he wants to at . home." Chicago Times-Herald. - A Suggestion. Mrs. Housekeep See here, I've been getting a dozen eggs from you every week and in every dozen lately I've found at least two bad ones. What's to be done abont It? Bright Clerk- Suppose you only take half a dozen hereafter. ' Maybe ' you wouldn't find so many bad ones then. Philadelphia Press. A Breach of ht qaette. He I notice you don't speak to the Uptowns any more. What have they done? She Done? Vulgar things! Lost all their money. Philadelphia Bulletin. Don't Lengthen. "What do you think of the idea of broadening the present course of school studies r "I don't care how broad they make 'em," answered Tommy, "so's they don't lengthen 'em." Indianapolis Press. Practice Makes Perfect. Angela (to whom Edgar has been proposing) Tell me, Edgar, did you ever say anything -like this to any woman before? Edgar (in a burst of honesty) My dear girl, do you think that It could be done like that the first time? Har per's Bazar. Regular Way. . Young Mother (to butcher) I have brought my little baby, Mr. Bullwrin kle. Will you kindly weigh him? Butcher Yes, ma'am; bones an' all, I s'pose? Tit-Bits. . a Unite the ' ontrary. Kindliman What's the matter, my little man? You seem to be in great pain. Little Boy (groaning dismally) No, I ain't, but dey seems ter be a great pain in me. Philadelphia Press. Biemory. When, having become rich beyond the dreams of avarice, he came back to claim bis bride, he found Elise awaiting- him. "Then you remember me,?' he cried folding her in his strong embrace. "Remember you, Harold? Why, I remember your middle initial, even!" Devotion, this! Detroit Journal. The Great Obstacle. "Each of us," said the moralist, "could do something to make the world better." "Yes," said his friend, with a sigh: "only our personal affairs do seem to keep us hustling!" Puck. Sensitive Nature Wonnied. "I was greatly mortified at Sylvia's wedding dinner." , "What about?' "It -was a pink affair, and she had pickled beets on the table." Chicago Record. . . Present Company Not Excepted. , . "Ya-as; it's so twying; some people are born freaks." "And others have freaks thrust upon them." . - Here's a ure Sign. "I must be getting old." "What makes you think so?"' "Younger men have begun compli menting me on being spry." Chicago Record. - Pointing the Way Out. "What do you think Miss Popkins did when I staid late last night?" -"What?" "She got up and hung an-'Exit' pla card on the parlor door." Puck. Up with Her Class,' "My wife 'earned, French In five weeks." "Does she speak correctly?" "Well, Prof. De Verges - says her French Is as good as any spoken in our neighborhood." Indianapolis Journal. Love an Appetite. "But, Delia, we should not let your father's prejudice stand In the way of our marriage. What Is 'money to true love?" "I know", Alfred, that money is not all, but hunger: Is something. Last night you walked past three restau rants on the way from tbe theater and never said oysters once. But papa had something for me to eat when I got home." Denver News. Plenty of Others. Blobbs He doesn't know enough to come in out of the rain. Slobbs That's nothing. Several thousand years ago there was only one man in all the world that did. His name was Noah. Philadelphia Record. Contingent. Dobson If you marry my daughter how long will it be before you call on me for aid? " . . Hobson That depends on how long It Is before she strikes me for cash. Den ver News. In the Wrong Pew. In a Watertown, S. D., theater recent ly a man who had a seat between bis wife nd daughter left at tbe termina tion of an act for a trip down-stairs. When he returned be found a vacant seat between two women, and dropped into it with the remark, "As I was say ing when I went out, it's none of your business what other people wear,,; Be cause some one'else makes a fool of herself by wearing cotton stockings in winter it doesn't folloW that you must do the same." ' -- . "Sir!" came from both sides at once; and the way he vacated that seat made the soles of his boots red-hot. H was in the wrong pew. Northwest Maga zine. " - " Encouragement for the Struggling. "Well," asked the artist rubbing his hands, "what did your wife think of your portrait when you got home?? "Ob," said old Mr. Packinham, hand ing out a check for the amount he had agreed to pay, "she told me she still had confidence In me .and didn't be lieve I was half as bad as I' was painted." . ST. VALENTINE'S WISDOM. Cupid sat near to St. Valentine, - lie waa aortlng out sis darts, Repairing bis bow and bla quiver. ana icyiug who orostn nearts. - Said-he to tbe taint, with weary sigh, "I'mi tired of this fruitless hunt From sordid, leathery hearts to-day aiy arrows tan ami ana Dinar. . Time was when a dart of elder pith Would Dierce to the Ten core A common heart, and the tougher ones ii wouia mane exceeding sore. Now naught but sn arrow tipped with gold Will reach to a vital nart. And no such thing can be found to-day i a naming, ourning neart. Said the aged saint, "you quite ezpreas me tnmg tnat 1 meant to say. And we've got to use modern methods. If n-1,' .1 ...... ! -i a. - -; ill, VUUUCH VJ "The turtle dove It has quite gone by, . And welded hearts are passe. But any battered old coronet "in viuuii iu win me aay. "And the very awellest new design wi Bieauuir luvers letters, Tou would hardly guess! 'Tls the dollar sign And a pa'r of golden fetters. "Then take advice. If the game you'd bag. Use only a rolden dart. And-dcaw a bead on the scheming head lfvu i aim at rne snrnnsen neart. Augustus L. Hanchett, in Frank Leslie's rujiuiai Mommy. ABOUT ST. VALENTINE. St Valentinus, whose head was rolled into a basket one bright morning in the year of our Lord, 270, lent his name to the day which is now consecrated to youth and love, but it is pretty generally conceded by wise men that it is an ana chronism to connect him with the origin of the festival. ' Indeed traces of the celebration have been found among the traditions which come down from the pagans of ancient Europe, and in several directions may be detected evidences that it was not a custom founded in Rome. but rather inherited there. In the long ago there was a custom among the youth in Rome to draw from a golden box a slip of paper on which was written the name of a girl. This was done in the name of Pan and Juno, ind wag called the Lupercalia. Later the priests substituted the names of saints for those of young women, and the 14th of February was fixed upon for the feast of Lupercalia. Out of this grew the cus- ABRAHAM LINCOLN AND SCESE5.0F HIS EARLY LIFE. toms which are now observed on St Val entine's day. There is one thing these wise books do not tell ns, however, and that is where and when the comic Valentine originated. If you will take from its shelf any one of the standard works of this description you will also discover that it maintains .i discreet yet significant silence upon .he causes which led up to the decapita tion of old St Valentinus that smiling morning in the long ago. It simply tells . ou that he was executed in the midst of . he Claudian persecutions, but never for i moment should it be forgotten - that even persecutors must have a canse. There has long been a private suspicion that old St Valentinus was himself the originator of the comic valentine, and that he expiated his crime in about the proper manner. It does not require any undue stress upon the imagination to see him forwarding to the Emperor Clau dius, a picture of a knock-kneed, whopper-jawed pirate who is surmounted with, a tinsel crown and whose nose is painted with the tints of conflagration, while be neath it all stood a bit of verse which more than intimated that Claudy, old boy, didn't know enough about the emperor business to hurt And what wonld be more natural than for Claudy to call for his warders, ho! and cut off Mr. Valen tine's head? - The writers tell ns that the romantic features of St Valentine's day are being revived, particularly in England. We are glad of this, because we have always felt that one day at least should be set apart in honor of that single passion which dwells with man and beast alike. Love is just as much entitled to a festival as labor. To the latter we have given a legal holiday, and the day is coming when old St. Valentine will find himself rec ognized in the statutes made and provid ed as well as through the pictorial rash which breaks out npon humanity once in every year. A CLEVER LINCOLN STORV. Travels All the Way from Berlin for This Tear's Celebration. Here is a new Lincoln story that has never been published. It was told to a Chicago man a few weeks ago by a gen tleman living in Berlin, Germany: Two hero worshipers had long desired to" meet Abraham Lincoln, but when the coveted privilege was finally granted they were unspeakably disappointed in the personality of the rail-splitting President They gazed at him in silence and then one of them -exclaimed in a dissatisfied voice: "Why, Lincoln is just a common look ing man like us!" The great emancipator turned to the speaker and said genially: "Yes, my friend, but I have -the conso lation of knowing that God loves com mon looking men!" "How do you make that out?" queried the other interestedly. "Oh, because he made so. many of them!" S - For a Valentine Party. " A "Valentine cake" may be introduced with good effect at a Valentine party. This can be gotten np in two ways; the first, a nicely iced cake, decorated with candy hearts having sentimental mottoes on them. Iet the cake be divided into the requisite, number of slices. In the slices the young girls draw or make a small slit with the sharp blade of a knife, and insert into the opening a slip of card board on which is written the name of some young man who is present First a young lady chooses a slice of cake, then the gentleman selects one. In those slices the latter draw are such small articles as denote tbe sort of wife Fate has chosen to be each young man's partner for Jife. Thus, a stiver coin signifies wealth, a scrap of silk a fashionable wife, a penny . poverty, a tiny spoon a good housekeep er, a pen. s literary woman, a small silver heart a marriage for love, a small brush an artistic wife, a tiny mirror a vain woman, a piece of crape a widow, etc. Woman's Home Companion. ' HOW LINCOLN WON HIS WIFE. a Married Him Because He Waa the ' Ugliest Man She K-ver Saw. . Mr. Lincoln nsed to take great delight in telling how he gained a knife by his ngly looks. That story has been pub lished, but I have not seen another la print, telling how he gained his wife, says a well-known writer. Mrs. Lincoln was a beautiful lady, attractive, sharp, witty and relished a joke even at her own expense. She was staying with her sis ter, Mrs. Edwards. She bad not been there long before everybody knew Miss Mary Todd. She often said: "When a girl I thought I would not marry until I could get one of the handsomest men in the country, but since I became a woman I learned I enn't get such men, which has caused me to change my mind. I have concluded to- marry the ugliest-looking man I can find." Later on Lincoln came to town. She had never seen him before she met him on the street She was told who he was and went home and told her sister she had seen her man, "the ugliest man I ever saw Abraham Lincoln and I am going to set my cap for him." That be came a common saying iu street gossip. When they were married, instead of tak ing a bridal trip, they went to a hotel and took board at $4 a week. When he got able he bought a lot for (200, and built a four-roomed house costing less than $1,000. When he re ceived $5,000 from his great railroad case he spent $1,500 of it in putting a second story on his house, and there he lived un til he went to Washington. L ncoln's Logic. It is said that Lincoln's acnteness in analysis and logical powers were trace able to his complete mastery of Euclid's propositions. Certainly whenever he at tempted to prove or disprove a thing he did it A story told by United Sta'tes Judge C. G. Foster, and printed in tbe Syracuse Standard, illustrates his log ical faculty. j In the winter before Lincoln was nomi- : nated for President he visited Kansas, and made speeches at Troy and Atchison. At the hotel in Atchison where he stayed, Gen. Stringfellow, John A. Martin and Judge Foster called upon him. In the course of the conversation Mr. Lincoln turned to Gen. Stringfellow, who play ed a prominent part in the effort to bring Kansas into the Union as a slave State. "Gen. Stringfellow," he said, "yon pro slavery fellows gave as one reason why slavery should not be prohibited in Kan sas that only the negro could break np the tough prairie sod. Now, I've broken hundreds of acres of prairie sod in my time, and the only question which re mains to be decided is whether 1 am a . white man or a negro." I Gen. Stringfellow -laughingly admitted the force of the quaint argument and ( congratulated Mr. Lincoln npon his point ed, logical way of putting things. LINCOLN AS A LAWYER. How the Immortal "Abe" Won Hia Early Successes at the Par. A suit was brought in the United States Court in Springfield against a citi zen for an infringement of a patent" right Mr. Lincoln went to the most skilled ar chitect in the city, inquired how he spent his winter evenings, and received the re ply: "If times are brisk I sometime work; otherwise I have no special busi ness." Mr. Lincoln said: "I have a pat ent right case in court; I want you as a partner, and will divide fees. I know nothing about mechanics never made it it a stndy. I want you to make a list of the best works on mechanism, as I don't suppose they can be purchased here. I will furnish the money, and you can send to Chicago or New York for them. I want you to come to my house one night each week and give me instructions." In a short time he had witnesses to meet him, fd- they were thoroughly drilled. When the trial commenced, Mr. Lincoln put his questions at the cross-examina- tion so scientifically that many witnesses ' were bothered to reply. When his wit nesses were put on the stand, so skillful were his questions that the court- the jury and the bar wondered how "Abe" Lincoln knew so much about mechauism. His witnesses could reply promptly. He gained the suit and a reputation such that Mr. Lincoln was sustained in every patent right case brought into that court, np to the time he went to Washington. He went to Chicago, .St Louis, Iowa, Ohio, Kentucky and Michigan to try pat ent right cases, and the last year of his practice did little else. Thomas Lewis "Recollections of Lincoln," in Leslie's Weekly. A Valentine. ' The north wind Is a-cold. Sobbing behind the hill; The world seems white and old. For the winter hath its will; And there. Is no thrush In the hazel brush To Bute with a silvery trill. The pale dawns come and go. And tbe chill auroras flare: While the spirit of tbe snow - Moves wralthllke through the air. And we know tbat death of tbe Icy breath . Is about ns everywhere. And yet, and yet nd yet Why should we grieve or plneJ Or house gloom-eyed Regret, Tour hand, dear heart, in miner We've all the vernal mirth of the earth With Love for Valentine! Clinton Scollard. In Collier's Weekly.. " As Odd as a Woman. One of tbe oddest bequests on record is that of the late George Russell, the well-known sculptor, of Aberdeen. He left $75,000 for the benefit of scaven gers and policemen.