The Truth About Tobias.
nT took Hanora quite a time to find
out the truth about Tobias. Not
that Tobias could ordinarily be con
sidered a mysterious individual. In
deed, . he was precisely the reverse.
From the cool dawn hour In which he
arose to go forth and drive the team
for Twist & Taffeta, of which firm he
was trusted collector, until his return
at 6:30 to the modest flat where his sis
terand supper awaited him, his life
was a clean and commonplace page,
spread wide for every casual or inter
ested glance. His nights. If less ex
posed to the arc lights of public scru
tiny, might as well have been so. For,
after eating heartily of the food Hanora
had prepared and referring to the same
In admiring terms, he was wont to re
move his shoes as unnecessary Impedi
menta, place his feet in their well
darned hose upon the chair "beyant,"
light his pipe, drink the solitary bottle
of beer Hanora permitted him, and read
the mighty accumulation of both morn
ing and evening papers until the auto
cratic spinster who ruled his abode sug
gested "a decade," and turned the lamp
low by way of a gentle but quite suffi
cient bint.
Tobias was 40 plus five. He had a
brickdust skin, pale brows, a pugna
cious nose, and a smile of such sudden,
suffusing, apologetic radiance it ex
plained his love for his fellow-men in
general and for Hanora in particular.
Indeed, his was the only love that had
ever come Hanora's way. She had
never been guilty of that form of high
way robbery known as coquetry. Not
that she was unsophisticated. She
knew that a woman quick of perception
and adroit of finger may appropriate
the purse of one who walks her way
and suffer incarceration. And she
knew also that one who possesses her
self of an unappropriated masculine
heart not only goes free in the sight of
lilt HAD XH ol.O MAID Blaii.ll 1-lViMU
WITH HIM. '
the law, but glories if she will In her
guile and in the magnitude of her deed,
Whether the bonds of Inopportune ty had
shackled Hanora Ryan or whether she
had preferred maiden triumph to the
exultation of matronhood deponent say
eth not. Anyhow, to get back to the
truth about Tobias. -On one memorable
midsummer eve be devoured lemon pie
without protest. Hanora knew he
loathed lemon pie. On the following
morning he meekly ate the French
toast she set before him, Instead of his
regulation potato and rasher. This was
her second test For Tobias had frank
ly declared only two weeks ago that
he would eat no more French, or Flem
ish, or no, begorrah Boer toast, that
"was made of stale bread dipped In egg
and fried! So there! She began to feel
suspicious. He was a good brother,
but alarmingly docile when presented
with viands for which he possessed an
aversion.
She was like the parrot which its
owner declared "said little but done a
devil of a heap of thinkin'!" She
thought a good deal in those days.
When Tobias suggested bringing a
friend home with him to dinner she
thought more han ever, albeit she pos
sibly said less.
"To "be bringin a man here for a
male!" quoth she. "What kind of a
man might he be now, Tobias?"
"Sthraight as they make 'em!"
promptly - responded Tobias. "He
drives the 'rush' bus. He's a good wan.
He'd relish one of your raspberry rolls
that he would, Hanora!" Whereat
Hanora blushed in a wintry sunset sort
of way and said he might bring his
- friend.
He did bring his friend. And to tell
the truth Hanora looked exceedingly
well. She had given her old black silk
skirt a "dip," whatever that mysterious
phraseology may mean. And she wore
with this a shirt waist of softest lawn,
which she had bought at quite an ab
surd .figure because it was one of the
smaller sizes. This she had duly and
delicately laundered. Not that
"The household art was the only dower
She would bring for a gift to him she
wed."
But the household art shone up In re
splendence on that particular night.
Never, thought treacherous Tobias,
with a glow at his heart, bad any man
such a sister, and If It were not for the
here be broke off In an agony of de
ception which made him temporarily
oblivious of the merits of the raspberry
roll.
"Yon ain't eat a bite!" avowed Hano
ra. Tobias made a sweeping gesture
across his Adam's apple. "Clear to
here!" be declared with delicious men
dacity. .
After supper they went into the par
lor. Hanora played on the organ yes.
and sang, too, in a sweet thin little
voice. She sang "The Meeting of the
Waters" and "The Kerry Dancing" and
the "Wearing of the Green." No rag
time for Hanora.
"She's a jewel!" commented Dennis
Maguire, addressing Tobias Ryan,
when they parted on the - sidewalk.
"Ain't ain't" timidly,, "there any wan
a-coortln'J" v
"Nivir a wan!" returned Tobias.
. He felt so guilty upon bis return he
cquld hardly make the proper responses
to the-"decade" which Hanora was
"giving out" He did not come home
until 10 o'clock the following night
. ' 1 Wt 1 fJSIB l Jff. I
nor yet the next. He explained his ab
sences by mysterious allusions to "cau
cuses" and "primaries," thereby sooth
ing Hanora and stultifying his con
science. It was not until Hanora found
a rose in the buttonhole of his coat one
morning and a Httle lace trimmed hand
kerchief in bis pocket that her direst
doubts were aroused. But even these
Tobias explained away.
"Sure the flower cost nothln. Hanora.
'Twus from a bush I was passln. And
the handkerchief was on the sidewalk.
I thought belike you could make use
of it"
He was rapidly becoming a beautiful
liar.
A week later he refused to go out
with Hanora and Dennis on account of
the night being damp. He had rheu
matism, he said. So his sister and his
friend went to the theater and Tobias
settled himself to the composition of a
long and fervent letter, the accomplish
ment of which necessitated frequent
reference to the pocket dictionary he
had bought for this purpose. To make
a long story short and It was not such
a long story when,all was said Hano
ra married Dennis Maguire. Tobias
was desolate disconsolate. He might
go to live with them. Dennis had won
a treasure. Yes, he might go to live
with them after a while. . For the pres
ent he would take his meals at a res
taurant until sure what could be done
with the furniture and so on.
All through her wedding Journey,
which lasted full three weeks, it trou
bled Mrs. Maguire to determine what
was the matter with Tobias. She told
her new made lord all about his even
ing absences, his mild acceptance of
distasteful viands, his abrupt and eager
hospitality toward Dennis even about
the rose and handkerchief. It was not
until she had returned to Chicago and
went out to the flat where had been
passed her years of mature maiden
hood that she really discovered the
truth about Tobias. "T
For the flat Into which she let her
self with her latch key was altered,
decorated. Illumined. There were cur
tains, of rosy swissoline at the win
dows. There were a lot of flowers on
the table. A canary sang in a gilded
cage, and what was that? A parasol
in the corner a hat on the sewing ma
chine! Such a frivolous hat all chif
fon and daisies! Hanora turned quite
faint. Could Tobias
"Oh," cried aradiant little creator
fluttering out of one of the Pullman
car apartments which serve as bed
rooms in the modern- fiat, "I did not
know" any one was here. Take this
chair. You are Mrs. Larch, I know.
Tobias said the wife of his friends jn
the shipping department would call,
We are not really fully settled yet. Out
wedding was quite a surprise to out
friends, but really we had been con
sidering it for some time. I was In the
ribbons, you know, and became ac
quainted with Mr. Ryan while at the
store. - But it seems he had an old! maid
sister living with him, and having a
girl's-natural distaste for relations-ln-law
though doubtless some of them
are kind enough, I suggested to Tobias
that it Would be betted to marry her
off if possible before why what
For Mrs. Dennis Maguire had risen
in aghast and stately discomposure.
"I am bis sister," she said.
"Dear, O, dear! I'm so sorry! I didn't
know nor suspect I wish I had kept
stun Take off your things! Stay to
supper! There there!" You're sweet
as you can be and I'll love you if you
let me Indeed, I will." ' , 4
Americans in Knee-Breeches.
Hon. John W. Foster, former Secre
tary of State and one of the most wide
ly experienced of American diplomats,
tells in the Saturday Evening Post in
terestmg and 'amusing. Instances of
American diplomats and court cos
tumes. The ladies will be interested
in knowing that in diplomacy extreme
consideration is given to the kind of
clothes which the representatives wear.
In the course of the article Mr. Foster
says: - ' .
"Some ministers have made them
selves ridiculous by securing an ap
pointment in the State militia and mak
ing use of that uniform. A story is
told of one of our representatives at a
European court who appeared at the
palace In the garb of a captain of a
cavalry . troop, a post he had filled at
home, which led the monarchical diplo
mats, attracted by his metal helmet,
quizzically to ask if he belonged to a
fire companyln America! The instruc.
tlons of the Department of State now
In force construe the law to allow of
such a departure from a simple dress
as will secure our diplomats welcome
admittance at court ceremonies.
"For instance, the members of the
United States embassy In London ap
pear on state occasions In knee breech
es, with metal buckles on their shoes.
and in other respects in ordinary even,
ing dress."
' . Really Too Bad.
The fair young society lady was In
an agitated frame of mind when she re
turned from a shopping expedition the
other day. -
"Why, Dorothy, what In the world la
the matter?" asked her indulgent bus
band, who read distress in her pretty
face.
"Oh, dear," she said, her voice trem
bling with emotion. . "I've lost the re
ceipt for my new hat"
"Well;'' tne husband replied, 'It. 1
very easy to go back to the store and
get another receipt. I don't see why
you should let a little matter like that
worry you." v . '
"It isn't that," was the sobbing re
ply, "but I'm afraid that some one we
know will find that receipt and learn
how much I paid for It" Detroit Free
Press. - '
Profits of a Convict Mine. -
The Tennessee convict coal mine is a
paying institution. The profits In the
last six months will amount to more
than $100,000. ,'..-' ;
: Men do not agree on what Is the
"unpardonable sin," but among wom
en It is an unpardonable sin for one
woman to recommend a dressmaker
who ruins a garment. --
SHE RESENTS "RULES."
Wife By Her Husband Plaster th
- Hon with Orders.
George S. Edgar, of Allegheny, Pa,
received a fortune of $200,000 from bis
father's estate several years ago. Re
cently his wife appealed to the courts
to have the ironey placed In her care
for the support of herself and family!
alleging her husband was an habitual
drunkard, posted notices throughout
the house for her' guidance, kpnt
wealthy friends from visiting her, and i
she had to extract money from him to
live on while he was In drunken stu
pors, says the Syracuse Herald. Part
of the rules posted by Edgar were read
In court, as follows:
"I am to be boss of the house. .1 am
to be master .and head aof the house,
and must be respected. I am to handle
all moneys. No servants shall be em
ployed without consulting me. No ser
vants shall be dismissed without con
sulting me. My wife shall not speak
to servants unless It Is extremely nec
essary. My wife shall not dismiss help
without my consent, unless it is under
extreme provocation; then she can dis
miss them during my absence or with
out my consent. All purchases, such
as vegetables, groceries, clothing for
wife and children, to be bought with
my personal consent or by written or
der. My children shall be taught to
respect me. In correcting my children
no pick handles, rolling pins or sad
irons shall be used. No presents shall
be given to anyone nor old clothing dis
posed of without my consent. Nothing
whatever shall be bought without con
sulting me.
"AH parties whose names appear on
card. In hall rack shall be excluded
from my bouse;' and other parties that I
mention hereafter, namely: , Dr. C. J.
Knaur, for having me come to R. B.
Scandrett's office, an old schoolmate
of mine, thereby humiliating me; Mrs.
C. J. Knaur, for going to Joe Walts,
friend of mine, and Walter Shlep and
saying I was drunk" all the time; Mrs.
Mary Bollenberg, for having me arrest
ed for calling her a brazen hussy; Fred
Bollenberg for writing me a challenge
to fight a duel; Mrs. Maggie Hopkins,
for saying I lived In Millionaires' row.
which I consider is between Ridge and
Western on Irwin avenue, while I live
at 1566 Charters street, so 1 cannot
live in Millionaires' row, and that my
wife was not living with me because
I was always drunk."
Beautiful and Suitable.
Show me a man's pictures and I'll
show you his character." a well-known
statesman once said. He referred, per
haps, more particularly to collectors;
butJhe same remark applies, though
In a lesser degree, to the average house
holder of the present day. A few very
few good engravings, with a. nice
water color drawing or two, tell a tale
of refinement, especially If they are
well hung. For, take a picture, in from
the left, and hang It where the light
from the nearest window is thrown on
it from the right, and the beauty of the
work cannot possibly be appreciated.
Pay some attention, too, to the height
at which the artist's light has come di
rectly your pictures are suspended.
Some are seen at their best when on a
level with the eye, while others require
some altitude to show them to advant
age. When, however, a picture Is "hung
high," the angle at which It is placed
from the wall should be carefully stud
ied and regulated by the distance from
the top of the frame at which the two
screw rings for Its wire are fastened.
Tastes In frames vary, and no hard-
and-fast line can be laid down. The
hideous old "massive" gilt frames, with
their detestable carving and moulding,
are a thing of the past. They always
seemed to be rivaling the picture itself
In attracting notice. Prints -and en
graving show best, I think, In Oxford
frames of oak, light or dark, according
to fancy, but always unvarnished. If
of lijbt wood, small ebony pins at the
corners, sides and top and bottom
cross, are an improvement. Frames
of ebonized wood harmonize with pho
tographs. For water-colors I like a
plain; "bead" frame of dull oil gilt; but
the Vmount" must be large, and the
drawing sunk a little if it is to show to
advantage. Finally,' have too few
rather than too rany pictures on your
walls.
His Reply.
The following Incident is related by
a correspondent of the Cleveland Plain
Dealer in the South. It is told of Dr.
James H. Carlisle, the venerable Pres
ident of Wofford College, South Caro
lina, and counselor of the great Chau
tauqua system. "
When 10 years old young Carlisle
was attending a typical country school
of the old South under the manage
ment of a typical teacher of the time.
a stern and scholarly old gentleman.
One day little James found consider
able difficulty in some of his work, and
his teacher, becoming impatient took
the boy's slate and, writing upon it the
words, "I am a fool," gave It to the lit
tie fellow, saying, "Here, James, sign
your name to that"
The learned pedagogue proceeded
with the other lessons, but on coming
back to his young charge after a time
noticed that the name had not been
written. Becoming angry, he demand
ed In thundering tones: 'James Carlisle
why did you not sign your name to
that, sir?" And little James Carlisle
slipped from his place on the high.
rough old bench, and, looking- his
teacher squarely In the eye, replied:
"Because it is a lie, sir!"
How Coreans Pray.
A returned sojourner in Corea tells
that he asked a native priest: "Tell
me why you people kneel down before
a stone, or piqee of wood, or any inani
mate object, and pray to it? Why not
pray .to God, as Christians' do?"
will explain," said the devout Idolater.
"Christians close their eyes and look
up without seeing anything as they
pray. The Coreans do not pray to the
piece of stone or wood, as you imagine,
but to the same good God, and select
the inanimate object merely as an em
blem. Instead of seeing nothing, they
gaze upon God's handiwork, for God
made the stone." -
" About the worst thing you can say
about a man la that he is "smart," and
a "great reader." The trouble Is, he
will do nothing but be smart, and read.
Be sure you are right then pause a
moment for reflection. - " t
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Joke and Jokelet that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born Saying
and Doing that Are Old, Curious and
Laughs bl -The Week's Humor.
"I have known a man on a modest
salary," said the Crafty Citizen, "to
scrimp along for a month to save $50
and then blow $40 of It on a hunting
dog when he doesn't get to go shooting
once a year."
Sometimes the wife of tbl same
scrimpy man," observed the Inveterate
Thinker, "takes the money and puts
$45 of It In a love of a tailor-made
gown, when she never goes any farther
than two squares to see her coiisin's
wife. If there were not real foolish
people on earth you aud I would get no
credit for wisdom." Denver News.
-' Appeired to He True.
Wigwam A New York doctor comes
out with, an article In which he claims
that American women are declining.
It's stuff and nonsense.
Sappehedde I don't know about
that. Three of them have declined me
recently. Philadelphia Record.
Hie On'y Trouble.
Does your wooden leg ever give you
trouble?"
'Only once. Wife struck me with it."
Proud of Tt.
The Haughty One You ought to be
proud to have me recognize you.
The Common Person I am. It shows
I have money. Indianapolis Press.
Sinn -.
Briggs Monkerly Is losing his Inter
est In golf. . .
Griggs What makes you think so?
Briggs-I saw him at his office yes
terday. Harper's Bazar.
Not His Father's.
Silllcus Henpeckke says his young
ster is going to grow up to be a fighter.
Cynicus Inherits, his mother's in
stincts, I suppose. Philadelphia Rec
ord. Must Keep Sisht Up.
FJatte Is your boarding house up to
date?
Rooms You bet A fellow can't be
behind a single week.
. Slow About Goius.
"It has always been my rule,'
said
Mr. Borem, "to .spend as I go."
."Indeed." exclaimed Miss Sharpe,
glancing significantly at the clock..- "In
that way I suppose you have saved con
siderable money." Philadelphia" Press.
A Necessary Lesson. ' .
"Isn't it kind of these people; ma,"
remarked the young fish, no drop us
lines with food on 'em?"
"Don't you believe it" replied the
mother fish. "You must learn to read
between the "lines." Philadelphia
Press. .. '
Didn't Show His Nose.
' Lady Didn't I tell you not to show
your nose around here again? '','
Peddler Veil, did I nod gomply mit
your request? ' '
Always in Practice.
Mrs. Wunder We never hear of
woman train robbers.'
Mr. Wunder And yet the ladles are
always holding up trains Baltimore
American.
The 8idewalk Drama.
"Strutter has gone on the .stage.''
"This time o' year?"
"Yes; he's plavlne with an TTncl
Tom'-e Cabin Company In that depart
ment store window." IndiananoIIs
Journal.
He Explains,
Mamma Why do you call him
"Jonesy?"
Johnny Well, you see, his name Is
Jones, but we call him "Jonesy" for
short Puck. ; "
The Beat He Could Do.
"Give me a penny, oh, sir," said the
mendicant, "and you will give me Joy."
"While I cannot give you Joy," said
the millionaire, "I may perhaps give
you merriment, for I will giv you the
laugh." Indianapolis Press.
Personal Items,
From the Plunkvllle Bugle: "Colonel
Erastus Jarvey was In town between
trains. Tuesday and made us a call.
Perry Patettie came la between cars
and Btruck us for a handout" Indian
apolis Press.
One Way of Looking at It. v
"It is said that the Czar of Russia
dislikes more than anything else to
speak in public" . .T-..: . , - --
"That's a nice tribute to his wife."
"How so?" -"He
probably gets a chance to say
all he wants to at . home." Chicago
Times-Herald. -
A Suggestion.
Mrs. Housekeep See here, I've been
getting a dozen eggs from you every
week and in every dozen lately I've
found at least two bad ones. What's
to be done abont It?
Bright Clerk- Suppose you only take
half a dozen hereafter. ' Maybe ' you
wouldn't find so many bad ones then.
Philadelphia Press.
A Breach of ht qaette.
He I notice you don't speak to the
Uptowns any more. What have they
done?
She Done? Vulgar things! Lost all
their money. Philadelphia Bulletin.
Don't Lengthen.
"What do you think of the idea of
broadening the present course of school
studies r
"I don't care how broad they make
'em," answered Tommy, "so's they
don't lengthen 'em." Indianapolis
Press.
Practice Makes Perfect.
Angela (to whom Edgar has been
proposing) Tell me, Edgar, did you
ever say anything -like this to any
woman before?
Edgar (in a burst of honesty) My
dear girl, do you think that It could
be done like that the first time? Har
per's Bazar.
Regular Way. .
Young Mother (to butcher) I have
brought my little baby, Mr. Bullwrin
kle. Will you kindly weigh him?
Butcher Yes, ma'am; bones an' all,
I s'pose? Tit-Bits. .
a
Unite the ' ontrary.
Kindliman What's the matter, my
little man? You seem to be in great
pain.
Little Boy (groaning dismally) No,
I ain't, but dey seems ter be a great
pain in me. Philadelphia Press.
Biemory.
When, having become rich beyond
the dreams of avarice, he came back
to claim bis bride, he found Elise
awaiting- him.
"Then you remember me,?' he cried
folding her in his strong embrace.
"Remember you, Harold? Why, I
remember your middle initial, even!"
Devotion, this! Detroit Journal.
The Great Obstacle.
"Each of us," said the moralist,
"could do something to make the world
better."
"Yes," said his friend, with a sigh:
"only our personal affairs do seem to
keep us hustling!" Puck.
Sensitive Nature Wonnied.
"I was greatly mortified at Sylvia's
wedding dinner." ,
"What about?'
"It -was a pink affair, and she had
pickled beets on the table." Chicago
Record. . .
Present Company Not Excepted.
, .
"Ya-as; it's so twying; some people
are born freaks."
"And others have freaks thrust upon
them." .
- Here's a ure Sign.
"I must be getting old."
"What makes you think so?"'
"Younger men have begun compli
menting me on being spry." Chicago
Record.
- Pointing the Way Out.
"What do you think Miss Popkins
did when I staid late last night?" -"What?"
"She got up and hung an-'Exit' pla
card on the parlor door." Puck.
Up with Her Class,'
"My wife 'earned, French In
five
weeks."
"Does she speak correctly?"
"Well, Prof. De Verges - says her
French Is as good as any spoken in our
neighborhood." Indianapolis Journal.
Love an Appetite.
"But, Delia, we should not let your
father's prejudice stand In the way of
our marriage. What Is 'money to true
love?"
"I know", Alfred, that money is not
all, but hunger: Is something. Last
night you walked past three restau
rants on the way from tbe theater and
never said oysters once. But papa had
something for me to eat when I got
home." Denver News.
Plenty of Others.
Blobbs He doesn't know enough to
come in out of the rain.
Slobbs That's nothing. Several
thousand years ago there was only one
man in all the world that did. His name
was Noah. Philadelphia Record.
Contingent.
Dobson If you marry my daughter
how long will it be before you call on
me for aid? " .
. Hobson That depends on how long It
Is before she strikes me for cash. Den
ver News.
In the Wrong Pew.
In a Watertown, S. D., theater recent
ly a man who had a seat between bis
wife nd daughter left at tbe termina
tion of an act for a trip down-stairs.
When he returned be found a vacant
seat between two women, and dropped
into it with the remark, "As I was say
ing when I went out, it's none of your
business what other people wear,,; Be
cause some one'else makes a fool of
herself by wearing cotton stockings in
winter it doesn't folloW that you must
do the same." ' -- .
"Sir!" came from both sides at once;
and the way he vacated that seat made
the soles of his boots red-hot. H was
in the wrong pew. Northwest Maga
zine. " -
" Encouragement for the Struggling.
"Well," asked the artist rubbing his
hands, "what did your wife think of
your portrait when you got home??
"Ob," said old Mr. Packinham, hand
ing out a check for the amount he had
agreed to pay, "she told me she still
had confidence In me .and didn't be
lieve I was half as bad as I' was
painted." .
ST. VALENTINE'S WISDOM.
Cupid sat near to St. Valentine, -
lie waa aortlng out sis darts,
Repairing bis bow and bla quiver.
ana icyiug who orostn nearts. -
Said-he to tbe taint, with weary sigh,
"I'mi tired of this fruitless hunt
From sordid, leathery hearts to-day
aiy arrows tan ami ana Dinar. .
Time was when a dart of elder pith
Would Dierce to the Ten core
A common heart, and the tougher ones
ii wouia mane exceeding sore.
Now naught but sn arrow tipped with gold
Will reach to a vital nart.
And no such thing can be found to-day
i a naming, ourning neart.
Said the aged saint, "you quite ezpreas
me tnmg tnat 1 meant to say.
And we've got to use modern methods.
If n-1,' .1 ...... ! -i
a. - -; ill, VUUUCH VJ
"The turtle dove It has quite gone by, .
And welded hearts are passe.
But any battered old coronet
"in viuuii iu win me aay.
"And the very awellest new design
wi Bieauuir luvers letters,
Tou would hardly guess! 'Tls the dollar
sign
And a pa'r of golden fetters.
"Then take advice. If the game you'd bag.
Use only a rolden dart.
And-dcaw a bead on the scheming head
lfvu i aim at rne snrnnsen neart.
Augustus L. Hanchett, in Frank Leslie's
rujiuiai Mommy.
ABOUT ST. VALENTINE.
St Valentinus, whose head was rolled
into a basket one bright morning in the
year of our Lord, 270, lent his name to
the day which is now consecrated to
youth and love, but it is pretty generally
conceded by wise men that it is an ana
chronism to connect him with the origin
of the festival. ' Indeed traces of the
celebration have been found among the
traditions which come down from the
pagans of ancient Europe, and in several
directions may be detected evidences that
it was not a custom founded in Rome.
but rather inherited there.
In the long ago there was a custom
among the youth in Rome to draw from
a golden box a slip of paper on which
was written the name of a girl. This
was done in the name of Pan and Juno,
ind wag called the Lupercalia. Later the
priests substituted the names of saints
for those of young women, and the 14th
of February was fixed upon for the feast
of Lupercalia. Out of this grew the cus-
ABRAHAM LINCOLN AND SCESE5.0F HIS EARLY LIFE.
toms which are now observed on St Val
entine's day.
There is one thing these wise books do
not tell ns, however, and that is where
and when the comic Valentine originated.
If you will take from its shelf any one
of the standard works of this description
you will also discover that it maintains
.i discreet yet significant silence upon
.he causes which led up to the decapita
tion of old St Valentinus that smiling
morning in the long ago. It simply tells
. ou that he was executed in the midst of
. he Claudian persecutions, but never for
i moment should it be forgotten - that
even persecutors must have a canse.
There has long been a private suspicion
that old St Valentinus was himself the
originator of the comic valentine, and
that he expiated his crime in about
the proper manner. It does not require
any undue stress upon the imagination to
see him forwarding to the Emperor Clau
dius, a picture of a knock-kneed, whopper-jawed
pirate who is surmounted with,
a tinsel crown and whose nose is painted
with the tints of conflagration, while be
neath it all stood a bit of verse which
more than intimated that Claudy, old boy,
didn't know enough about the emperor
business to hurt And what wonld be
more natural than for Claudy to call for
his warders, ho! and cut off Mr. Valen
tine's head? -
The writers tell ns that the romantic
features of St Valentine's day are being
revived, particularly in England. We are
glad of this, because we have always felt
that one day at least should be set apart
in honor of that single passion which
dwells with man and beast alike. Love
is just as much entitled to a festival as
labor. To the latter we have given a
legal holiday, and the day is coming when
old St. Valentine will find himself rec
ognized in the statutes made and provid
ed as well as through the pictorial rash
which breaks out npon humanity once in
every year.
A CLEVER LINCOLN STORV.
Travels All the Way from Berlin for
This Tear's Celebration.
Here is a new Lincoln story that has
never been published. It was told to a
Chicago man a few weeks ago by a gen
tleman living in Berlin, Germany:
Two hero worshipers had long desired
to" meet Abraham Lincoln, but when the
coveted privilege was finally granted they
were unspeakably disappointed in the
personality of the rail-splitting President
They gazed at him in silence and then one
of them -exclaimed in a dissatisfied voice:
"Why, Lincoln is just a common look
ing man like us!"
The great emancipator turned to the
speaker and said genially:
"Yes, my friend, but I have -the conso
lation of knowing that God loves com
mon looking men!"
"How do you make that out?" queried
the other interestedly.
"Oh, because he made so. many of
them!" S
- For a Valentine Party.
" A "Valentine cake" may be introduced
with good effect at a Valentine party.
This can be gotten np in two ways; the
first, a nicely iced cake, decorated with
candy hearts having sentimental mottoes
on them. Iet the cake be divided into
the requisite, number of slices. In the
slices the young girls draw or make a
small slit with the sharp blade of a knife,
and insert into the opening a slip of card
board on which is written the name of
some young man who is present First
a young lady chooses a slice of cake, then
the gentleman selects one. In those slices
the latter draw are such small articles as
denote tbe sort of wife Fate has chosen
to be each young man's partner for Jife.
Thus, a stiver coin signifies wealth, a
scrap of silk a fashionable wife, a penny .
poverty, a tiny spoon a good housekeep
er, a pen. s literary woman, a small silver
heart a marriage for love, a small brush
an artistic wife, a tiny mirror a vain
woman, a piece of crape a widow, etc.
Woman's Home Companion. '
HOW LINCOLN WON HIS WIFE.
a Married Him Because He Waa the '
Ugliest Man She K-ver Saw. .
Mr. Lincoln nsed to take great delight
in telling how he gained a knife by his
ngly looks. That story has been pub
lished, but I have not seen another la
print, telling how he gained his wife,
says a well-known writer. Mrs. Lincoln
was a beautiful lady, attractive, sharp,
witty and relished a joke even at her own
expense. She was staying with her sis
ter, Mrs. Edwards. She bad not been
there long before everybody knew Miss
Mary Todd. She often said: "When a
girl I thought I would not marry until I
could get one of the handsomest men in
the country, but since I became a woman
I learned I enn't get such men, which has
caused me to change my mind. I have
concluded to- marry the ugliest-looking
man I can find."
Later on Lincoln came to town. She
had never seen him before she met him
on the street She was told who he was
and went home and told her sister she
had seen her man, "the ugliest man I
ever saw Abraham Lincoln and I am
going to set my cap for him." That be
came a common saying iu street gossip.
When they were married, instead of tak
ing a bridal trip, they went to a hotel
and took board at $4 a week.
When he got able he bought a lot for
(200, and built a four-roomed house
costing less than $1,000. When he re
ceived $5,000 from his great railroad case
he spent $1,500 of it in putting a second
story on his house, and there he lived un
til he went to Washington.
L ncoln's Logic.
It is said that Lincoln's acnteness in
analysis and logical powers were trace
able to his complete mastery of Euclid's
propositions. Certainly whenever he at
tempted to prove or disprove a thing he
did it A story told by United Sta'tes
Judge C. G. Foster, and printed in tbe
Syracuse Standard, illustrates his log
ical faculty.
j In the winter before Lincoln was nomi-
: nated for President he visited Kansas,
and made speeches at Troy and Atchison.
At the hotel in Atchison where he stayed,
Gen. Stringfellow, John A. Martin and
Judge Foster called upon him. In the
course of the conversation Mr. Lincoln
turned to Gen. Stringfellow, who play
ed a prominent part in the effort to bring
Kansas into the Union as a slave State.
"Gen. Stringfellow," he said, "yon pro
slavery fellows gave as one reason why
slavery should not be prohibited in Kan
sas that only the negro could break np
the tough prairie sod. Now, I've broken
hundreds of acres of prairie sod in my
time, and the only question which re
mains to be decided is whether 1 am a
. white man or a negro."
I Gen. Stringfellow -laughingly admitted
the force of the quaint argument and
( congratulated Mr. Lincoln npon his point
ed, logical way of putting things.
LINCOLN AS A LAWYER.
How the Immortal "Abe" Won Hia
Early Successes at the Par.
A suit was brought in the United
States Court in Springfield against a citi
zen for an infringement of a patent" right
Mr. Lincoln went to the most skilled ar
chitect in the city, inquired how he spent
his winter evenings, and received the re
ply: "If times are brisk I sometime
work; otherwise I have no special busi
ness." Mr. Lincoln said: "I have a pat
ent right case in court; I want you as a
partner, and will divide fees. I know
nothing about mechanics never made it
it a stndy. I want you to make a list of
the best works on mechanism, as I don't
suppose they can be purchased here. I
will furnish the money, and you can send
to Chicago or New York for them. I
want you to come to my house one night
each week and give me instructions." In
a short time he had witnesses to meet
him, fd- they were thoroughly drilled.
When the trial commenced, Mr. Lincoln
put his questions at the cross-examina-
tion so scientifically that many witnesses '
were bothered to reply. When his wit
nesses were put on the stand, so skillful
were his questions that the court- the
jury and the bar wondered how "Abe"
Lincoln knew so much about mechauism.
His witnesses could reply promptly. He
gained the suit and a reputation such
that Mr. Lincoln was sustained in every
patent right case brought into that court,
np to the time he went to Washington.
He went to Chicago, .St Louis, Iowa,
Ohio, Kentucky and Michigan to try pat
ent right cases, and the last year of his
practice did little else. Thomas Lewis
"Recollections of Lincoln," in Leslie's
Weekly.
A Valentine. '
The north wind Is a-cold.
Sobbing behind the hill;
The world seems white and old.
For the winter hath its will;
And there. Is no thrush In the hazel brush
To Bute with a silvery trill.
The pale dawns come and go.
And tbe chill auroras flare:
While the spirit of tbe snow -
Moves wralthllke through the air.
And we know tbat death of tbe Icy breath
. Is about ns everywhere.
And yet, and yet nd yet
Why should we grieve or plneJ
Or house gloom-eyed Regret,
Tour hand, dear heart, in miner
We've all the vernal mirth of the earth
With Love for Valentine!
Clinton Scollard. In Collier's Weekly..
" As Odd as a Woman.
One of tbe oddest bequests on record
is that of the late George Russell, the
well-known sculptor, of Aberdeen. He
left $75,000 for the benefit of scaven
gers and policemen.