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About The Columbian. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 1880-1886 | View Entire Issue (June 12, 1885)
m THE COLUMBIAN. THE COLUMBIAN. 7 - Published Evert Friday, AT Published Evkby Feat, at ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OIL, BY E. 0. ADAH3, Editor and Proprietor ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO.. OR., A BT H 0. ADA1IS, Editor and Proprietor. mi Subscription Rates: AnvEHTistNo Rates : One year, in advance $2 00 , Six months, " l w Three months. " 50 VOL. V. ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, JUNE 12, 1885. NO. 45. One square (10 lines) first lnaertlon. . ?2 00 Each subsequent insertion 1 00 MBIAN iA)LtV "vsi? A RAILWAY GHOST. An Explanation to Set Myself Right Before the Public. As there is a gLot m this story, ac cording to all established rules it ought to commence with "once upon a time. but 3ls I am s-omcwhat of an iconoclast. not even such a venerable liirure of ' speech can escape annihilation at my hands. Let me be exact in chronology at least. I had been hastily summoned from Cornwall to the bedside 01 a wealth' old uncle from whom I hadex pections, and as the telegram informed me that he could not survive h's pres eut attack or cout, I thoujrht it might - be as well for me to be "in at the death." and so one foggy day in No vember. 100, found me traveling to A-hboiirne, a little, out-of-the-way place, where the old gentleman lived There were but few passengers on the tra n. and 1 had the comfort of a car- r.age all to myself. We stopped to coal at some little way-station, when a passenger was hurr.edly ushered, or ra.'hcT'bange into my compartment bv the conJixroc.' The straniier was a ta'l, thin, mtd- " dl -aged man. with a face lean and withered I ke a shr.veled apple. In a dress t ght-h'tUng and of an ancient and fad d b ack, he looked 1 ke a man who had run erv much to seed, which per haps aceountedfo 'the luxuriant growth of iis arms atid les. Observng his clothes ste '.lumg with the damp air, I began to re.tl .e that it had suddenly bccom-3 very i old. "Quite a change in tli3 weather," I remarked. "Very cold to night, is it not?" "Don't feel the cold myself. Per haps you would like to change places with me; th. re no draft here. 1 replied that I would be glad to do so if it did no: inconvenience him, aad accordingly w : changed seats. It vas cold and no mistake. I must have taken a chdl, for I felt the cold crei pi ug ove.- me n a most unaccount able manner. Loo m.g at my compan ion on the oppos t- sea'., oj whom the lamjdight now shone full. I saw that his face was ; o .o 'h u njr h s eatures 0 Withered as I at ti.st s.ippos d; and 1 must have made a m stau.e as to his ag'?. for he was by no m a: s as old as 1 had previously judged. How cold it was, to bi sure. As 1 looked at him. I noticed that h s aspect changed mo mentarily that he was growingyoung- it: that the wrinkles n his Iacj were til I ng out and smoothing down, and that he was gra lua'Iv becoming like some one I had se-n before. As his cheeks grew round and ruddy, and his hair changed from gray to Jbrown be- toroinv vwy eves, l oecaroe nervous1, - and endeavore 1 to crv out, but could not. I was paralyzed with the cold cold that seiued to make my limbs r gid and beuurnb my v.ta's, for I saw that the man silting ueio.e me was no longer a Granger i.o mere friend or 1 held up my hands to try to shutout the s ght, and. as 1 did ?o, saw that they were withered, and thin, and oM. 1 pressed them to my Lrow, to see if I were dreaming, and I found it shr v- eled, and seamed, and puckered. And then I knew that th's man this fiend --h:id stolen my body and given me his. Maddened with the discovery, I ro-e to my feet his feet wh ch tot tered beneath me, and I struck w Idly at the vision ot mvselt on the olhjr seat. But I found my arms light as vapor, for they passed over his bodv. wh;ch went thiough them, giving me the impression of pain. It was a body of shade that had been given me for my own body of ilesh and blood, which this wretch hud stolen. By some sor cery or another, we had indeed changed places. . Sore rer demon," I cr'ed out, only to hear myself speaking w.th h s sharp. cracked voiee. hen 1 saw myself set ting opposite to me, coolly addressing me in my own vo ce, I could no longer cred.t my jen es if. indeed, l had any of theni at all left ot my own. "Dare you think you are speaking loud .now, he.-a u. I answered by shout ng for the con dnctor as loudly as I could. "Ah, you. m ght call a good deal louder than that. Why, if the carriage were full of passengers they could no more hear you than they could see you." he cont nued, chuckling, and screwing my features up into a hid eously knowing grin, such as could navar hova mailf tVim A s nm a tV ti see, ijj v meuu, jrvura 10 t uuuv ui air, of shadow, insensible, impalpable to i l i ' .all but myself, just as it was to all bnt vou when I entered the carriage; You wish, perhaps, to know - who 1 am. Well, two years ago to-night I was a passenger by this train. TLere was a collision with a stupid freight- train, you see, and the result was that several jiassengers were injured. One of them was well, it's no use m'ne ingmatters k lied on the spot. Quite go. It was I. Yes, I am. what jou would call a ghost, although we do not cons'der that just the . correct ternfjamong ourselves we have a bet ter word for it. Now I have told you what I am, you will, doubtless, like to know what I want. Very good; you shall see." The ghost in my body then began to feel in my pockets, from which he drew out my meerschaum, which he filled from my pouch and lit with one of ray matches. "Ah," he proceeded, purling like a steam-engine, "you smoke very good stuff natural leaf and Old Judge; not a bad mixture, though I prefer a little Cavendish with it myself. Not at all a bad body yours, either." he went on, eye;ng the form in which he was sit ting; "not at all a bad body; and it tits' me to a T, only a little short in the arms. By the way, I find one of your front teeth a little loose, so don't go and say I d d that when you come to yourself again; and votir nose is a little long for me, but f dare- say it blows none the wors s tor that. I shu.iderea as I saw him take out my pocket-handkerchief and u-e it on that cherished organ of mine. "Yes, I dare say now vou feel the cold a litUe; I did at tirst. but it's nothing wnen you are used to it. . I find you body very warm being heavier than l am aecustomea to wear; but it won't be for long. I require it positively for this night only,' as you say in your play-bills; and will return it uninjured by the time we get to Ash bourne, by the by, let me beg of you to be a little careful how vou throw vonr arms about so much as you did just now, for my body is of a more del icate construction than vours; and b ing so th'n in substance, I am afraid vou will cnaie it under the arm-pits. You will observe, ladies and gentle man,' he went on, in lecturer's stvle. that if I take a lighted match and in sert it in thecorner of the patient's eye, he will leel no pain. baying this, my dreadful companion proceeded to lflus trate his remark by making a dive at niv shadowy eve with a burning match I certainly felt no pain as the match burned in my head. "iou wm allow, alter ail you see, that my shape has its advantages," the ghost proceeded; "but it also has its disadvantages. Try the pipe now." 1 tried to take the pipe it dropped through my vapory lingers. He placed it in my nv tilth: I could not hold it. nor get a whiff from it. "Prec sely so, aid the ghost. -IVow, this is just what has brought m here to-night. A great smoker all my 1 fe, doing my twelve pipes a day regularly, I have been de- Junct these two years, and during all that t me l haven t had a mioke! -Not a blessed draw. 1 miss mv "bacea dread ful. There "s a provision made for smokers down with us, you will un derstand; but we are governed by a Board of Directors whose general in capacity e iiials that of many of your c.tv boards. There is a stock of bod ies kept for smokers, so that if yon want to enjoy a pipe you must go into one of the todies to get it. But if vou w.ll belie . e me, the supply is so no toriously insufficient to meet the de maud that there is no chance what ever for a new ghost to get a smoke When I entered the society all the bodies were out m use, and booked for three years in advance. Mv name has been down on the books for two years. and there is no chance or my getting a body allotted to me for a twelvemonth raucy two years Without a smo&e. hy, s.r, the incompetence ot our board is something awful. I can. only explain the roasm why we put up w th such gross mismanagement in the other world is because we have b come so us -d to it in this. Our constitutions. however, are being undermined to that extent that th4 board has at la-it been coerced by popular feeling into passiu; a measure, empowering ghosts to ren der themselves vis ble to a single in dividual at a t me, in order that they may effect a ehauge of bodies for short per ods, alwavs with the consent of the person in question, for the purpose of indulging in a habit which thedireetors say they can not, however, but char acterize as pernicious and injuriou- George III. and George Washington, both members of the board, opposed the measure: they, however, were left in a r dicuiouiy sm ui m nority. under llill t&Vt, JL i'VlillUCU UUVI1. "You never had my consent, liend!1 I cried. Jt is vulgar to call names, my friend," the g!iot replied, smoothing mv nm-taehe w th mv ungers; "but vou an; tr n ng. 1 asked you to change places with me, and you agreed, as vou must be well awaiv. But, dear me: here we are at Ashbourne; but. how ever, I must finish im- pipe think of two years, and not a blessed draw, my friend! ' The train was slacken'ng speed. My companion leaned out ot lhe. w.ndow pulling fast and lur.ous. he sa d; .t .-hall te done in an instant. as foon as the tra;n stops." and he con tinued blow ng great c:ouds of sm.ke. till we pulled up at the depot. He hurriedly knocke I out the ashes of the tobacco. as the conductor cr cd 'Change here; all change here. please." V sudden glow ot warmth seeni 'd to Jtass over me as I rubbed my eyes, and ouud to mv great delight my own .smooth hands aga nst my own un wrinkled cheeks. 1 looked up for my companion; he was gone: I was alone in the carriage. I was greatly .surprised, as I stepped oa the platform, at being asked for mv card by a very o'iicions i ersoii; st 11 more so at be;ng summoned to the po lice court the fallowing mo ning. The officious person .stated that he was the Secretary of the Anti-tobac?o Alliance, and applied for a conviction aga nst me, under one oi-tne Dy-iaws or the company, for smoking in a ra lwav car riage contrary to their regulations. He deposed to having seen me (only think, me!) k-aning out of the window.smak- ing a meerschaum pipe. The conductor testified that the carnage smelt very strongly of tobacco on our ar 1, and that 1 was the only passenger. A meerschaum pipe answering the offici ous person's description was found on mv nerson. Uase was clear, and 1 was fined two pounds. Nay, more the case of smoking in a railway carriage has been placarded at all the stations along the line, where I am hung up as a caution to tne public, in a black frame, w th my name and address and tfie amount of penalty enforced at full length. It wouldhave been useless to attempt any evplanation to the Justice. It is something to have set one's self right with the public. W. G. Kellu. in San Fran-i.vo Argonaut. un the Safe Side. "Tom! Tom!" yelled a boy on Gris- wold street yesterday to another a block away; "come here as fast as ever you can! Here's a boy up the alley who has found a nickel!" What of ft?" queried the other as he came up. "lAtVs take it away from him. "Sure there am t a bole punched m it?" "Dead sure." "Is he a big boy?' "No -smaller'n us. Come on." "Sav, don't vou be in such a hurry," cautioned the other. "If the nickel is all right, and we kin lick the boy, that's so much fur our side, but let's circle around a little. May be he's a chap who's got political influence and belongs to our party. Things is right down clus in politics, and we don't want any body to bolt our nominations." Detroit Free Iress. AVAR DECLARED! Printers Strike at Last Every Prospect that they will be Successful! For some time past it lias been gen erally conceded that the firms who, in order to secure and hold their trade are obliged to resort to the system o: sending drummers oa the road, are not the firms for a business man to deal with, unless he is satisfied with seventy-five cents for a dollar. business man (and printers and pub Ushers are generally good business mea) can readily understand that a traveler's expenses have to be paid and out of the profits of his sales. A drummer's expenses average about ten dollars per day, when upon long trips of three and four months. That means simply ten per cent, added to price of your goods. The drummer figures in this way : He calls upon a publisher, who, we will say, wants a power press, and has made up his mind to buy the best, thinking (and rightly, too,) that the best is. in the long run. the cheapest. He has decided upon . a Campbell, or perhaps a Cottrell press (and could a t have made a better choice), and figured carefully upon the freight, etc. for getting, of course, the drummer s ten per cent.; but the drummer doesn't forget it. He talks all round, nibbles first on one press and then upon another, until he at last finds machine that may be 100 or $200 less in price than the publisher's choice, and finding that the publisher is not familiar with the price, make ox working qualities of the press, he then exerts his entire chin-power upon eulogizing this power press. Perhaps it is a "Prouty" it will grind out anything, from quartz to sausages, in three colors. The publisher orders a press- gets a quartz crusher; drum mer makes ten days' expenses hur ries along to reach some pleasant loafing town thinks he's smart has not time to see this publisher next trip. In short, the drummer for sec ond-class houses (for such are they that will foist inferior type and ma chinery upon printers and publishers, under the idea that they are " cheap, knowing that they must act ten per cent more than any other house, in order to pay the drummer) aims to make his expenses by plausibly representing goods for what they are not, at a r duced price. Now, there is a difference between this second-class firm's drummer and the first class. You take the largest house, for instance, m the business They figure that tlTey have four-fifths of all the trade ; they make more sales, though on smaller margins : they are reliable ; they don't lose customers ; their aggregate profits are larger; they say, " We can afford to devote the profits of a portion of our business to securing new business, or to estab lishing a branch where it will be an accommodation and a lielp to our customers ;" or, if the trade is limited and will not support a branch house, they can send out their traveler. The firm handles only the best tvpe, presses and machinery in the world. Their traveler is required to sell only the best and always at one price. There is no cnance lor publishers being im posed upon if they are determined to buy the best. Ihen buy from the best firm in your line of business, and you will buy from Palmer & Key. it you are located in uregon or Washington Territory, buy from the Portland house, where you can pur chase loicer than the drummer can sell you by ten per cent. MISCELLANEOUS. Tew South Wales produced 35,220,- 6i0 pounds of sugar last year. Professor Bain says that "the pos session of a spot of land is the most powerful of all known motives to in dustry." A picture of Abraham Lincoln worth $2,000 has stood boxed up in a dark and dingy corner of the Capitol at Albany for over four years. Albany Journal. The Xew York police recently ar rested a professional beggar who, when "at home, lived luxuriously in ele gantly furnished apartments. N. Mail. The mean duration of life in France, which was twenty-nine at the close of the eighteenth century, and thim'-nine from 1817-1831, increased to forty from 1840-18o9, thanks to the progress of sanitary science. 'Here's a musical salesman adver tised for. Why don't you apply, Ned?" I? Why, I m not mnical." "1'er- haps not; but I notice th::t you C:in blow your own horn, .you're familiar with the bars, your remarks are full of shirs, you're always g.ving notes, and all the rest," 11 Ad (iazettc. Laving pipes under ground is usu ally done to dra;n water from the soil instead of to bring water to it. Uut sub-irrigation has some obvious advan tages. T ie pipes once laid deenlv ough do not need renewal. The water is just where it is needed for the roots of crops or trees, and does not bake or harden the surface, it is said that a company is making cheap ce ment pipes, which obviate the greatest difficulty in irrigation, which has; here tofore been its excessive cosU '-N. Y. tin-aid. The Presbyterians have in Utah 33 schools, 54 teachers, and more than 2.000 pupils; the Congregationalists, 30 schools, with 47 teachers and upwards of 1,800 scholars; then the Methodist3, 11 schools, 10 teachers and about 700 pupils; the Episcopalians, 5 schools, 25 teachers and an attendance or 850; the Catholics, 3 schools, 35 teachers and 450 scholars enrolled, and the Baptists, 2 schools. 3 teachers and 175 pupils. Total, 85 schools, 188 teachers, and an enrollment for the year of 7,500, A LUCKY SAILOR BOY. v A CrloDled Inmate of the Marine Hospital Wins a Fortune. Learning that Henry Orbari was the name of the lucky San Franciscan who drew part of the second capital prize in the last drawing of The Louisiana Lottery, a reporter started to hunt him up and soon learned that he was an inmate of the United States Marine Hospital. Driving out to that institu tion, it was quickly ascertained that Orban, overjoyed with his sudden good forturfe, had packed up his few belong mgs and departed for his native England. From G. H. Brock, the courteous hospital steward, the brief history o the fickle goddess' latest protege was obtained. " n was a very runny tiling, said that gentleman, . " how Orban got into the thing, or rather how he was forced into it, for he was a very unwilling participant in the transaction " But first I will tell you what we know alout the boy's life. It seems that he has been a sailor ever since he was able to do anything until about two years ago, when he accidentally fell while at duty on board the bark Enoch Talbot, which resulted in badly spraining both his ankles. Not receiv ing proper treatment, he never recov ered the full use of his limbs and so is a permanent cripple. He eventually came to us in the latter part of 1883, and after doing all that could be done for him, so that he got as well as he ever will be, we employed him here as hospital attendant, so that he could at least have a home. " He is a very bright young fellow. being now IS j-ears old, and passion ately fond of reading, perusing every thing that comes in his vtiy with avidity. He was a general favorite with us all and everyone in this estab lishment was reioiced at his trood fortune. ' Now as to the wav he got the ticket It seems that one of his old shipmates owed him a dollar or two. Ofban met him down on th water front a few weeks ago and asked himHor the money, as he needed a little money very badly, not having a cent. I haven t any money,' said his friend, 'but I've got a couple of lottery tickets and will give vou one if vou will call it square. - -o,' saiu urban, ! wouidn t give live cents for a lottery ticket; what I want is my money.' But after a good deal of talk, find ing his chum;-really had no money, and fearing that he might never see him again, hej consented very rcluc tantly to take the ticket. Heturning to the hospital, he importuned every body in the house to buv the ticket, offering to sell it for 75 cents, but there were no believers in the conscienceless jade, Fortune, out here, and he was compelled to retain the valuable paste board. He constantly renewed his attempts to dispose of the ticket, and on the very morning that the re sults of the drawing were announced. but before the news had been received ;iere, he used every effort to get the assistant steward, Mr.Pettcrson,tobuy it. A little later in the morning he was chatting with the cook when the paper came and almost immediately ns quick e-es saw the familiar figures 55,818 and he was soon capering all over the building, mad with delight at ns great good fortune. That day he gave his ticket to Wells, Fargo fc Co. for collection and on Tuesday last re ceived his money in full. He imme diately bade farewell to his many nends here, starting overland next morning to JNew lork, from which place he will sail for England on the next steamer. " He has neither father nor mother living and his only known relative is a sister, Beatrice Orban, a sixteen-year old girl, living in Ybrkshire, England, and attending school there, and young Orban thought when he left that he should go to school awhile himself after he got home. He has no bad habits, is very intelligent and indus trious and I have no doubt the money will be of great benefit to him and we all here wish him God-speed and pros perity." San Francisco (Co.) Chronicle, May 3. Wouldn't Forget Him. A benevolent ge itleman. wh le wait ing for a street car was approached by negro who asked him for a nickel. The gentleman only had a nickel, but there was something so appealing about the negro that he gave him the nickle and decided to walk home. "Thankee, sah! lhankee. De Lawd aint gwiueter furget yer fur dis. "I hat s all rignt. "Yas, sah, yas." "Just then "the car came along and the negro hopped on with agility. "Here." exclaimed tne gentleman. "You are au old scoundrel." "Yas, sah, vas, but de Lawd aint . .. 1 1 . . ; -. . gwine ter iurgit yer. ircuisuw 1 ravcler. The aggregate number of car-ioaus of peaches shipped out of Delaware from 18!)7 to 18S1 was os,00:j, the great est year being 1875, with 1,072 car- oads, and the smallest 18X1, with only 8. A car-load is 550 baskets. lhe bulk of the crop is shipped by vessel to ialtimore. During the pas year evap orators have been erected throughout Delaware and Maryland, which are both profitable in themselves and useful in preventing gluts in the market. The. crop for 1885 promises in both States to be large. A rrrnnrl nlrl mnn said at the bar of the Supreme Court the other day that e life of a gentleman included "not lv rrood manners, but srood morals. courtesy, kindness and honor and high minded principles." X. O. Picayune. MATRIMONIAL FISHING. The Place for the Young Man Who Desire to Acquire Wealth by "Marrying Rich.' New York is the place to go for the aspiring young man who desires to ac quire wealth by the easy and expedi tious method known as "marrying rich." The daughters jof the wealthy men of the metropolis are as romantic in their natures asthe young girls are elsewhere, and the bold, manly young fellows from the country, if they are smart, can beat the young dudes of the city in bearing oil the matrimonia world over, and they can't heip liking a manly man. ' The young woman who marries dude is either forced into it or else she is poor and th'nks the fellow has got money. One of the re: .sons of the success o the ambitious matrimonial aspirant in New York is the ease with which he can make the acquaintance or a young ladv, and manage to meet her without the knowledge of her parents. Miss Kloise Lord, the daughter of the head of the great dry-goods firm of Lord & Taylor, went over to Williamsburg one day last week and was quietly married to a young man, her family knowing nothing of the transaction until they saw the notice of the wedding in the next morning's paper. Stranger still. the family knyw nothing about the young man until the lady acknowledged that she was his wife," and then told them who and what he was. Jt seems that she had met him at various places where she visited and an attachment sprang up between them. He was poor, and realizing the insurmountable opposition to him if he asked for the hand of his affianced from her father. he conceived that it would be better to get marriedprivately and then face the parental storm. It is to re hoped he is worthy of the prize he has won, and that the young lady will have no cause to regret her peculiar action. But it is not altogether fair weather sailing for tha adventurers in Gotham's matrimonial sea. Not all young ladies who shine in fine clothes at the Astor balls are heiresses, bv anv means. There are female anglers, and plenty of tnara, who are fishing for rich hus bands. A sad, but not an unusual re ult is that a young couple find after they are married that both are victims of misplaced confidence. Perhaps neither has cared for the other but only married in the hope of securing the wealth which it was supposed the other had. lhe thousands of blighted homes and suits in the divoree courts testify to the frequency of such ill-assorted matches. A lady correspondent thus pathetical ly paints the poor girl in society. Fam ilies with big fortunes usually have im poverished relations in plenty, lhis is true of some of the folks most conspic uous in the society which gets the most attention in print. And the parents of the girl thus allied to wealth, but own ing none of it, are anxious that they should have every opportunity to ac quire it by marriage, iherefore the straining to put the youngsters among the scions of millionaires, and to main tain their share in a seemly manner, is one of the interesting charae'eristics of Ne v York life. The dresses of fortunate cous'n.s, carefully disguised by radical alterations and additions, are frequent ly worn by these husband-hunters, whose equally clever use of such at tractions as nature and culture have provided not infrequently carries thtm to the goal of golden matrimony ahead of more favored competitors. " Oh, but it s an awful responsibility to put ou a young girl, said an ex perienced dowager, with whom I talked about an individual instance. 'There she is at the further end of the quad rille, looking as placid and ingenious as a child. Her partner is heir to wealth enough to satisfy the costs of the position which she wishes to oc cupy as a w.re. lie is jusi me caicn she d like to make. The task is im posed upon her of making him pro pose. She may not love him that's no matter. The eyes of her father and mother are on her. She is keenly aware that every movement is scruti nized by those two interested and able critics. In fact, she isn t the light hearted, careless, blithesome girl she seems, but a cool, calculating adven turess. However, if she should entrap the fellow she'd undoubtedly make an excellent wife, and he couldn't claim to have been victimized. There is a peculiar reason for celerity in her case, by the way. She belongs to a family who age early. She is only eighteen. At twenty-live she will look to be thirty. She knows this, because she is a counterpart of what her mother used to be. The shortening of her avail able time is one of the considerations forced forced on her by the determined parents, and they are making every possible sacrifice to advantage her quest. Should she let so intangible a thing as her heart stand in the way of her progress? Of course, not' " Utica (N. .) Herald. Kidnaping Children. The St. James' O'azette remarks that at the beginning of the present century it was commonly believed that master chimney-sweeps used to kidnap the children of well-to-do parents and force them to the slavery of climbing chim neys. There was a perfect, scare about the matter at the time, and it was not altogether without foundation. That gypsies have frequently been in the habit of stealing children when they can, there is no doubt: and a case which has just been heard at Middlesex Sessions shows that kidnaping is even now not extinct A Mr. Jickson, a blind gentleman, and a mendicant by profession,, was pursuing his calling when he came across a little girl, whom he first asked to ieai him over the road. and then persuaded to accompany him home. Here Mr. Jackson and his wife detained the child., taking her out with them to beg. Six months' hsrd labor for the man and three for the woman was the sentence for the offense. Av Y. Post. Wendell Ph'llipi left ocly about $25,000, though once wealthy. Mrs. Livcrmove says that the day before he died he burned a small fortune in notes he held against people for whom, as he said, his executors might make trouble. Boston Journal. TRADES. A London Salad Maker and Profession Beetle-Hunter. There exists in London a gentleman who makes his whole income by mix ing salads. A few minutes before the commencement of a dinner party he drives up in a hansom and proceeds to the mixing of the ingredients, which are ready prepared for him. In a short time the salad' is finished, it is placed on the table, it is an incredible success. Such an ethereal concoction seem3 as if it can not have been made by hands, but lather as is it hovered between two hemi.-pheres, partaking of both while belonging to neither. The greater part of the materials are found for him; some he uses, some it seems good to him to re'ect, b it it is surmised that he must bring with hirr tome singular flavoring or ray terious herb which gives to the salad its magical llavor. Any way, tie salad is . a success; the maker pockets a guinea fee, ami Hies otl" in another han-om - possib'y to dream of inventing another salad. No one has ever seen the salad-maker at work. He demands perfect solitude for his artistic employment, and he has a preference for silence while it is going on. He has a blund, mys'erious, and almost unctuous epress'o"J, which s ems someh w to suggest a person wh t ikes especial delight in the mix ing of oil. He has a manner so quietly polite, so ca'm, and self-contained, as perfec ly to I afHe any inquiry which could be put to. him as to his history or the sec et of his trade. Were his ho tess to be even as impetuous ss the Princess in "Der A.-ra." sh would get no inforraat'on o- t of the sa'ad-ni: k r. The :ip strophe, "Tell me quickly, what thy liaiiie and what thy country?" would meet with no response beyond an oily ero'Ie, a deprecatory bow, and a gent shrug of the shoulders. Iu what country I e discovered the secret of his s dad. whe her there is a secret at all or whe her the llavor 1 ei in the faith of the p.ti taker, wh Te he lives when he is at hoir.e. and what he do -s when he is not making s dad a 1 these things nrc mysteries. : u I w V never be known during the lifetime of lhe salad-maker. Not to ment'ore I in the same breath with lhe s-a'a s-maker, yet having a ceitain atlin'ry with h'm through the mysteries of his occupat on, is the pro fess oual 1 eetlc-hunt r. lie also de mands to wo: k in secret, he al-.o de mands a tolerable f e, but I his manner (unl ke that of the salad-maker) is som wiu t grim and unresponsive. He will come wi.enever you send for him, and will rid your house of the intruders insiantaneously. but what he rather preftrs i to be paid by the year and to come wueneier he thinks nu ror a sir all annual sum thirty shill'ngs or thereabouts, if ' the writer's memory docs not dece.ve him he will under take that not a single b.:etle shall be s; en in'" vour establishment during the time it is under h's care. He appears particularly t j Jike the air of re pecta bility which is given him by this yearly income, considering h'mself probably ss thereby geit'ng into the position of a person with rents coming in, and who m giit even have to pay income-tax one of thee davs. What is the subtile com munication between him and the beetle, and how he does his spiriting, is as deep a mvste v s s the great salad question p-iken i above. Like t':e sal. d-maker. he allows of no witnesses jto h s per formances, an i the manner or them must eer remain a matter for con jecture. He oniesat night, in the s orm or th rain, but wh..t he does no one knows. Probablv he is a successor to the Pied Piper of Hamlin, and parades the bas' nient playing on a pipe, bv which he .lures his victim! to de-true tiou. London Standard. AN HONEST MAN. I- Supposititious Integrity That I!d Not Pan Out Satisfactorily. "Good morn'ng. sii, go:jd morning," said a well appearing man, entering the Welcome Call saloon, and addressing the proprietor. "Sit down j lurj a mo ment arid let m refresh your memory. Several years ago I came in hero and o-rt ! ilfillnr" nnpl h if wliivlri Jti fnrl rs " J it. Here i jour money, sir. handing over a dollar. "I don't remember it." "Thafs all right. I got! a ouart of whiskv and to'd vou tha I would pay you the following day. That night 1 re ceived a d'spatch stating that my father was dangerously ill. 1 hurried away, having borrowed the money. N h ?n 1 got to New York, I fouud that my fatlurwas not so bad oil that he did not remember his interests, consequently I was sent abroad. I remained awav several years, attending to the duties of a commission house, and only returned a fw weeks ago. I hope vou will ex cuse me for not paying you sooner." 'That s all right, ' said the saloon keeper, "biit really I don t remember that vou ever got anything of me." did. rut that dohar in your No bodv can sav 'tlrat I ever failed to pay a debt that I owe. Some times I have money and pometimes I haven't," Well," said the saloon-keeper, 1 am very much obliged to you." "Don t sav a word, my cear fel ow. I could not sie 'p at n'ght if 1 thought I owed anybody. Weil, I must go. fust-nit Sav, have vou got any brandy?" . "uot some of the best in the conn try." "W hat s it wortnr "Kig iteen dollars a gallon, "That's cheap etougli. Just put me i r ' up a gai on, pieasn. l naven i any money with me, but i ii pay you in a day or two. I am making my home here now." 7 I can't give it to ou without the money. 'What! Didn t I pay you for the other stuff I got?" I That s all right. You fll pay me the stull vou get now or vou won t get it. "See here. I d'dn't owe you a dol ar. It was a mistake. Give me my money. - . . . . .... . . '.Never mind; 1 11 keep it; 1 he t me I've wasted on you is worth abaut that much. Good morning. Arkans tw Traveler. Japanese law compels people to sell fish alive. They are vended in tanks. TWO QUEER Tb Bride of Oscar -Wilde. MISS CONSTANCE LLOYD. (Photographed by Downey.) Mrs. Wilde is a very charming young wo man, very modest, excellently well-bred. educated to the tips of her fingers, and shi believes thoroughly in her husband. She in herited a fortune of $90,000 from her father. One who knows her well thus rapturous!? describes her: "A lovely head that droops ai though it were a flower kissed by amoroui rain-drops; her hair a chestnut, such as Taase would have sung to; eyes so soft, so luminous, as to appear like twin stars set in a heaven of soul; and a mouth that innocently wonden at the rosebuds. When she plays the birdi top their warbling to listen, while onlooker are dazzlei with the lustrous whiteness oi her taper fingers" and thus and thuslyi Such is the lady upon whom Oscar has con ferred his hand, heart and aestheticism. He Had (be Old 71am Texas Sittings. Colonel McLeod, although not a bad man at heart, uses very rough language in his intercourse with his family. On returning to his home from his place of business a few day ago he found his wife very much ex cited over the outrageous conduct of a tramp, who, being dissatisfied with the food given him by Mrs. McLeod, had abusod her in the most outrageous manner. "Johnny, said Colonel McLeod to his ten-year-old son. 'when you heard that cowardly scoundrel abusing your mother why didn't you run to the store quick and let me know? Didn't you hearf "Yes, pa, f was out in the stable and beard what be said about the victuals ma gave him and how he abused her, but" But whatr "I thought it was you scold ing ma. He used the same words you do when the dinner don't suit you. I didn't think anybody else would dare to talk to ma that way." A Great Living General. Black woods Magazine. GEN. VON MOLTKS. Moltke the Silent der Scnweiger as he Is called, Is generally considered the greatest, and is certainly the most successful, of liv ing soldiers. Ills achievements at Konig gratz. Sedan and Fai is have never been sur passed, and compel the admiration of all competent military critics. Silent, quite, cold, the very incarnation of concentrated thought, just as you see him walking in the streets or moving in a drawing room, when everybody stands respectfully aside to let him pass so he stood on the battlefield, hU cold, clear eye passing slow ly from one point to the other, and his cold, clear mind weigh ing the chances of victory and defeat with the intensity and serenity of a mathemati cian pondering over the solution of soma grave problem. No one, it is said, has ever seen Court Molke excited, not even at Sdan, where thjj greatest victory of modern times decided th fortunes of the two most powerful empires of the continent. His calmness seems 'mys terious, almost awful, and there is some thing strange about that silent, lonely ok! man. His wife died some years ago; h never bad a child; his nearest relations, with the exception of a nephew and nieca, seem to be kept at a distance by him. Who are his companions and his friendsl To whom does be ever talk in a friendly, fam iliar way! Nobody has ever been able to tell me, though I havo often inquired. An old man of 84, General Field Marshal Count Hellmuth von Moltke remains one cA the strangest characters the world has eve produced. It is well worth goinj to Berlin to see that great historical personage LIEUT. A. W. QREZLT Photographed by C.Jl. Harlow, IT. & A To those who remember the refined, hand some face of Lieut. Greely as exhibited ie the published portraits of him b3fore hs went north,' the above engraving of a recent photograph of the brave lieutenant, made by Ensign Harlow on the steamer Thetis, will tell the story better than columns of type, of the hardships he has survived. That he may long enjoy his bard-earned laurels is a universal wish. i A Quaker City Itomtuee, Norristown Herald. " Twas midnight in the Quaker City. A silvery sheen of moonshine bathed the vernal beauties of Fairmount Park in a flood of pale and ghostly light. The tall steeple threw long shadows athwart the adjoining buildings when all of a sudden, as if by magic, the Keely motor continued to ref us to mote. Louisville Courier-Journal: Smoking It said to prevent cholera. It is doubtless th street-car cigar that puts the microbe to s horrible death.
