m
THE COLUMBIAN.
THE COLUMBIAN.
7
- Published Evert Friday,
AT
Published Evkby Feat,
at
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OIL,
BY
E. 0. ADAH3, Editor and Proprietor
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO.. OR.,
A
BT
H 0. ADA1IS, Editor and Proprietor.
mi
Subscription Rates:
AnvEHTistNo Rates :
One year, in advance $2 00
, Six months, " l w
Three months. " 50
VOL. V.
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, JUNE 12, 1885.
NO. 45.
One square (10 lines) first lnaertlon. . ?2 00
Each subsequent insertion 1 00
MBIAN
iA)LtV
"vsi?
A RAILWAY GHOST.
An
Explanation to Set Myself
Right Before the Public.
As there is a gLot m this story, ac
cording to all established rules it ought
to commence with "once upon a time.
but 3ls I am s-omcwhat of an iconoclast.
not even such a venerable liirure of
' speech can escape annihilation at my
hands.
Let me be exact in chronology at
least. I had been hastily summoned
from Cornwall to the bedside 01 a
wealth' old uncle from whom I hadex
pections, and as the telegram informed
me that he could not survive h's pres
eut attack or cout, I thoujrht it might
- be as well for me to be "in at the
death." and so one foggy day in No
vember. 100, found me traveling to
A-hboiirne, a little, out-of-the-way
place, where the old gentleman lived
There were but few passengers on the
tra n. and 1 had the comfort of a car-
r.age all to myself. We stopped to
coal at some little way-station, when a
passenger was hurr.edly ushered, or
ra.'hcT'bange into my compartment
bv the conJixroc.'
The straniier was a ta'l, thin, mtd-
" dl -aged man. with a face lean and
withered I ke a shr.veled apple. In a
dress t ght-h'tUng and of an ancient and
fad d b ack, he looked 1 ke a man who
had run erv much to seed, which per
haps aceountedfo 'the luxuriant growth
of iis arms atid les. Observng his
clothes ste '.lumg with the damp air, I
began to re.tl .e that it had suddenly
bccom-3 very i old.
"Quite a change in tli3 weather," I
remarked. "Very cold to night, is it
not?"
"Don't feel the cold myself. Per
haps you would like to change places
with me; th. re no draft here.
1 replied that I would be glad to do
so if it did no: inconvenience him, aad
accordingly w : changed seats.
It vas cold and no mistake. I must
have taken a chdl, for I felt the cold
crei pi ug ove.- me n a most unaccount
able manner. Loo m.g at my compan
ion on the oppos t- sea'., oj whom the
lamjdight now shone full. I saw that
his face was ; o .o 'h u njr h s eatures
0 Withered as I at ti.st s.ippos d; and 1
must have made a m stau.e as to his
ag'?. for he was by no m a: s as old as
1 had previously judged. How cold it
was, to bi sure. As 1 looked at him. I
noticed that h s aspect changed mo
mentarily that he was growingyoung-
it: that the wrinkles n his Iacj were
til I ng out and smoothing down, and
that he was gra lua'Iv becoming like
some one I had se-n before. As his
cheeks grew round and ruddy, and his
hair changed from gray to Jbrown be-
toroinv vwy eves, l oecaroe nervous1, -
and endeavore 1 to crv out, but could
not. I was paralyzed with the cold
cold that seiued to make my limbs
r gid and beuurnb my v.ta's, for I saw
that the man silting ueio.e me was no
longer a Granger i.o mere friend or
1 held up my hands to try to shutout
the s ght, and. as 1 did ?o, saw that
they were withered, and thin, and oM.
1 pressed them to my Lrow, to see if I
were dreaming, and I found it shr v-
eled, and seamed, and puckered. And
then I knew that th's man this fiend
--h:id stolen my body and given me
his. Maddened with the discovery, I
ro-e to my feet his feet wh ch tot
tered beneath me, and I struck w Idly
at the vision ot mvselt on the olhjr
seat. But I found my arms light as
vapor, for they passed over his bodv.
wh;ch went thiough them, giving me
the impression of pain. It was a body
of shade that had been given me for
my own body of ilesh and blood, which
this wretch hud stolen. By some sor
cery or another, we had indeed changed
places. .
Sore rer demon," I cr'ed out, only
to hear myself speaking w.th h s sharp.
cracked voiee. hen 1 saw myself set
ting opposite to me, coolly addressing
me in my own vo ce, I could no longer
cred.t my jen es if. indeed, l had any
of theni at all left ot my own.
"Dare you think you are speaking
loud .now, he.-a u.
I answered by shout ng for the con
dnctor as loudly as I could.
"Ah, you. m ght call a good deal
louder than that. Why, if the carriage
were full of passengers they could no
more hear you than they could see
you." he cont nued, chuckling, and
screwing my features up into a hid
eously knowing grin, such as could
navar hova mailf tVim A s nm a tV ti
see, ijj v meuu, jrvura 10 t uuuv ui air,
of shadow, insensible, impalpable to
i l i '
.all but myself, just as it was to all
bnt vou when I entered the carriage;
You wish, perhaps, to know - who 1
am. Well, two years ago to-night I
was a passenger by this train. TLere
was a collision with a stupid freight-
train, you see, and the result was that
several jiassengers were injured. One
of them was well, it's no use m'ne
ingmatters k lied on the spot. Quite
go. It was I. Yes, I am. what jou
would call a ghost, although we do
not cons'der that just the . correct
ternfjamong ourselves we have a bet
ter word for it. Now I have told you
what I am, you will, doubtless, like to
know what I want. Very good; you
shall see."
The ghost in my body then began to
feel in my pockets, from which he drew
out my meerschaum, which he filled
from my pouch and lit with one of ray
matches.
"Ah," he proceeded, purling like a
steam-engine, "you smoke very good
stuff natural leaf and Old Judge; not
a bad mixture, though I prefer a little
Cavendish with it myself. Not at all a
bad body yours, either." he went on,
eye;ng the form in which he was sit
ting; "not at all a bad body; and it
tits' me to a T, only a little short in the
arms. By the way, I find one of your
front teeth a little loose, so don't go
and say I d d that when you come to
yourself again; and votir nose is a little
long for me, but f dare- say it blows
none the wors s tor that. I shu.iderea
as I saw him take out my pocket-handkerchief
and u-e it on that cherished
organ of mine.
"Yes, I dare say now vou feel the
cold a litUe; I did at tirst. but it's
nothing wnen you are used to it. . I
find you body very warm being
heavier than l am aecustomea to wear;
but it won't be for long. I require it
positively for this night only,' as you
say in your play-bills; and will return
it uninjured by the time we get to Ash
bourne, by the by, let me beg of you
to be a little careful how vou throw
vonr arms about so much as you did
just now, for my body is of a more del
icate construction than vours; and b
ing so th'n in substance, I am afraid
vou will cnaie it under the arm-pits.
You will observe, ladies and gentle
man,' he went on, in lecturer's stvle.
that if I take a lighted match and in
sert it in thecorner of the patient's eye,
he will leel no pain. baying this, my
dreadful companion proceeded to lflus
trate his remark by making a dive at
niv shadowy eve with a burning match
I certainly felt no pain as the match
burned in my head.
"iou wm allow, alter ail you see,
that my shape has its advantages," the
ghost proceeded; "but it also has its
disadvantages. Try the pipe now." 1
tried to take the pipe it dropped
through my vapory lingers. He placed
it in my nv tilth: I could not hold it.
nor get a whiff from it. "Prec sely so,
aid the ghost. -IVow, this is just what
has brought m here to-night. A great
smoker all my 1 fe, doing my twelve
pipes a day regularly, I have been de-
Junct these two years, and during all
that t me l haven t had a mioke! -Not a
blessed draw. 1 miss mv "bacea dread
ful. There "s a provision made for
smokers down with us, you will un
derstand; but we are governed by a
Board of Directors whose general in
capacity e iiials that of many of your
c.tv boards. There is a stock of bod
ies kept for smokers, so that if yon
want to enjoy a pipe you must go into
one of the todies to get it. But if vou
w.ll belie . e me, the supply is so no
toriously insufficient to meet the de
maud that there is no chance what
ever for a new ghost to get a smoke
When I entered the society all the
bodies were out m use, and booked for
three years in advance. Mv name has
been down on the books for two years.
and there is no chance or my getting a
body allotted to me for a twelvemonth
raucy two years Without a smo&e.
hy, s.r, the incompetence ot our
board is something awful. I can. only
explain the roasm why we put up w th
such gross mismanagement in the other
world is because we have b come so
us -d to it in this. Our constitutions.
however, are being undermined to that
extent that th4 board has at la-it been
coerced by popular feeling into passiu;
a measure, empowering ghosts to ren
der themselves vis ble to a single in
dividual at a t me, in order that they
may effect a ehauge of bodies for short
per ods, alwavs with the consent of the
person in question, for the purpose of
indulging in a habit which thedireetors
say they can not, however, but char
acterize as pernicious and injuriou-
George III. and George Washington,
both members of the board, opposed
the measure: they, however, were left
in a r dicuiouiy sm ui m nority. under
llill t&Vt, JL i'VlillUCU UUVI1.
"You never had my consent, liend!1
I cried.
Jt is vulgar to call names, my
friend," the g!iot replied, smoothing
mv nm-taehe w th mv ungers; "but vou
an; tr n ng. 1 asked you to change
places with me, and you agreed, as vou
must be well awaiv. But, dear me:
here we are at Ashbourne; but. how
ever, I must finish im- pipe think of
two years, and not a blessed draw, my
friend! '
The train was slacken'ng speed. My
companion leaned out ot lhe. w.ndow
pulling fast and lur.ous.
he sa d; .t .-hall te done in an instant.
as foon as the tra;n stops." and he con
tinued blow ng great c:ouds of sm.ke.
till we pulled up at the depot. He
hurriedly knocke I out the ashes of the
tobacco. as the conductor cr cd
'Change here; all change here.
please."
V sudden glow ot warmth seeni 'd to
Jtass over me as I rubbed my eyes, and
ouud to mv great delight my own
.smooth hands aga nst my own un
wrinkled cheeks. 1 looked up for my
companion; he was gone: I was alone
in the carriage.
I was greatly .surprised, as I stepped
oa the platform, at being asked for mv
card by a very o'iicions i ersoii; st 11
more so at be;ng summoned to the po
lice court the fallowing mo ning. The
officious person .stated that he was the
Secretary of the Anti-tobac?o Alliance,
and applied for a conviction aga nst
me, under one oi-tne Dy-iaws or the
company, for smoking in a ra lwav car
riage contrary to their regulations. He
deposed to having seen me (only think,
me!) k-aning out of the window.smak-
ing a meerschaum pipe. The conductor
testified that the carnage smelt very
strongly of tobacco on our ar 1, and
that 1 was the only passenger. A
meerschaum pipe answering the offici
ous person's description was found on
mv nerson. Uase was clear, and 1 was
fined two pounds. Nay, more the
case of smoking in a railway carriage
has been placarded at all the stations
along the line, where I am hung up as
a caution to tne public, in a black
frame, w th my name and address and
tfie amount of penalty enforced at full
length.
It wouldhave been useless to attempt
any evplanation to the Justice. It is
something to have set one's self right
with the public. W. G. Kellu. in San
Fran-i.vo Argonaut.
un the Safe Side.
"Tom! Tom!" yelled a boy on Gris-
wold street yesterday to another a block
away; "come here as fast as ever you
can! Here's a boy up the alley who has
found a nickel!"
What of ft?" queried the other as
he came up.
"lAtVs take it away from him.
"Sure there am t a bole punched m
it?"
"Dead sure."
"Is he a big boy?'
"No -smaller'n us. Come on."
"Sav, don't vou be in such a hurry,"
cautioned the other. "If the nickel is
all right, and we kin lick the boy, that's
so much fur our side, but let's circle
around a little. May be he's a chap
who's got political influence and belongs
to our party. Things is right down
clus in politics, and we don't want any
body to bolt our nominations." Detroit
Free Iress.
AVAR DECLARED!
Printers Strike at Last Every
Prospect that they will
be Successful!
For some time past it lias been gen
erally conceded that the firms who, in
order to secure and hold their trade
are obliged to resort to the system o:
sending drummers oa the road, are
not the firms for a business man to
deal with, unless he is satisfied with
seventy-five cents for a dollar.
business man (and printers and pub
Ushers are generally good business
mea) can readily understand that a
traveler's expenses have to be paid
and out of the profits of his sales. A
drummer's expenses average about ten
dollars per day, when upon long trips
of three and four months. That means
simply ten per cent, added to price of your
goods. The drummer figures in this
way : He calls upon a publisher, who,
we will say, wants a power press, and
has made up his mind to buy the best,
thinking (and rightly, too,) that the
best is. in the long run. the cheapest.
He has decided upon . a Campbell, or
perhaps a Cottrell press (and could a t
have made a better choice), and figured
carefully upon the freight, etc. for
getting, of course, the drummer s ten
per cent.; but the drummer doesn't
forget it. He talks all round, nibbles
first on one press and then upon
another, until he at last finds
machine that may be 100 or $200
less in price than the publisher's
choice, and finding that the publisher
is not familiar with the price, make ox
working qualities of the press, he then
exerts his entire chin-power upon
eulogizing this power press. Perhaps
it is a "Prouty" it will grind out
anything, from quartz to sausages, in
three colors. The publisher orders a
press- gets a quartz crusher; drum
mer makes ten days' expenses hur
ries along to reach some pleasant
loafing town thinks he's smart has
not time to see this publisher next
trip. In short, the drummer for sec
ond-class houses (for such are they
that will foist inferior type and ma
chinery upon printers and publishers,
under the idea that they are " cheap,
knowing that they must act ten per cent
more than any other house, in order to
pay the drummer) aims to make his
expenses by plausibly representing
goods for what they are not, at a r
duced price.
Now, there is a difference between
this second-class firm's drummer and
the first class. You take the largest
house, for instance, m the business
They figure that tlTey have four-fifths
of all the trade ; they make more sales,
though on smaller margins : they are
reliable ; they don't lose customers ;
their aggregate profits are larger;
they say, " We can afford to devote the
profits of a portion of our business to
securing new business, or to estab
lishing a branch where it will be an
accommodation and a lielp to our
customers ;" or, if the trade is limited
and will not support a branch house,
they can send out their traveler. The
firm handles only the best tvpe, presses
and machinery in the world. Their
traveler is required to sell only the
best and always at one price. There
is no cnance lor publishers being im
posed upon if they are determined to
buy the best. Ihen buy from the best
firm in your line of business, and you
will buy from Palmer & Key.
it you are located in uregon or
Washington Territory, buy from the
Portland house, where you can pur
chase loicer than the drummer can sell
you by ten per cent.
MISCELLANEOUS.
Tew South Wales produced 35,220,-
6i0 pounds of sugar last year.
Professor Bain says that "the pos
session of a spot of land is the most
powerful of all known motives to in
dustry." A picture of Abraham Lincoln
worth $2,000 has stood boxed up in a
dark and dingy corner of the Capitol at
Albany for over four years. Albany
Journal.
The Xew York police recently ar
rested a professional beggar who, when
"at home, lived luxuriously in ele
gantly furnished apartments. N.
Mail.
The mean duration of life in France,
which was twenty-nine at the close of
the eighteenth century, and thim'-nine
from 1817-1831, increased to forty from
1840-18o9, thanks to the progress of
sanitary science.
'Here's a musical salesman adver
tised for. Why don't you apply, Ned?"
I? Why, I m not mnical." "1'er-
haps not; but I notice th::t you C:in
blow your own horn, .you're familiar
with the bars, your remarks are full of
shirs, you're always g.ving notes, and
all the rest," 11 Ad (iazettc.
Laving pipes under ground is usu
ally done to dra;n water from the soil
instead of to bring water to it. Uut
sub-irrigation has some obvious advan
tages. T ie pipes once laid deenlv
ough do not need renewal. The
water is just where it is needed for the
roots of crops or trees, and does not
bake or harden the surface, it is said
that a company is making cheap ce
ment pipes, which obviate the greatest
difficulty in irrigation, which has; here
tofore been its excessive cosU '-N. Y.
tin-aid.
The Presbyterians have in Utah 33
schools, 54 teachers, and more than
2.000 pupils; the Congregationalists, 30
schools, with 47 teachers and upwards
of 1,800 scholars; then the Methodist3,
11 schools, 10 teachers and about 700
pupils; the Episcopalians, 5 schools, 25
teachers and an attendance or 850; the
Catholics, 3 schools, 35 teachers and
450 scholars enrolled, and the Baptists,
2 schools. 3 teachers and 175 pupils.
Total, 85 schools, 188 teachers, and an
enrollment for the year of 7,500,
A LUCKY SAILOR BOY.
v
A CrloDled Inmate of the Marine
Hospital Wins a Fortune.
Learning that Henry Orbari was the
name of the lucky San Franciscan who
drew part of the second capital prize
in the last drawing of The Louisiana
Lottery, a reporter started to hunt him
up and soon learned that he was an
inmate of the United States Marine
Hospital. Driving out to that institu
tion, it was quickly ascertained that
Orban, overjoyed with his sudden good
forturfe, had packed up his few belong
mgs and departed for his native
England.
From G. H. Brock, the courteous
hospital steward, the brief history o
the fickle goddess' latest protege was
obtained.
" n was a very runny tiling, said
that gentleman, . " how Orban got into
the thing, or rather how he was forced
into it, for he was a very unwilling
participant in the transaction
" But first I will tell you what we
know alout the boy's life. It seems
that he has been a sailor ever since he
was able to do anything until about
two years ago, when he accidentally
fell while at duty on board the bark
Enoch Talbot, which resulted in badly
spraining both his ankles. Not receiv
ing proper treatment, he never recov
ered the full use of his limbs and so is
a permanent cripple. He eventually
came to us in the latter part of 1883,
and after doing all that could be done
for him, so that he got as well as he
ever will be, we employed him here as
hospital attendant, so that he could at
least have a home.
" He is a very bright young fellow.
being now IS j-ears old, and passion
ately fond of reading, perusing every
thing that comes in his vtiy with
avidity. He was a general favorite
with us all and everyone in this estab
lishment was reioiced at his trood
fortune.
' Now as to the wav he got the ticket
It seems that one of his old shipmates
owed him a dollar or two. Ofban met
him down on th water front a few
weeks ago and asked himHor the
money, as he needed a little money
very badly, not having a cent.
I haven t any money,' said his
friend, 'but I've got a couple of lottery
tickets and will give vou one if vou
will call it square.
- -o,' saiu urban, ! wouidn t give
live cents for a lottery ticket; what I
want is my money.'
But after a good deal of talk, find
ing his chum;-really had no money,
and fearing that he might never see
him again, hej consented very rcluc
tantly to take the ticket. Heturning
to the hospital, he importuned every
body in the house to buv the ticket,
offering to sell it for 75 cents, but there
were no believers in the conscienceless
jade, Fortune, out here, and he was
compelled to retain the valuable paste
board. He constantly renewed his
attempts to dispose of the ticket,
and on the very morning that the re
sults of the drawing were announced.
but before the news had been received
;iere, he used every effort to get the
assistant steward, Mr.Pettcrson,tobuy
it. A little later in the morning he
was chatting with the cook when the
paper came and almost immediately
ns quick e-es saw the familiar figures
55,818 and he was soon capering all
over the building, mad with delight at
ns great good fortune. That day he
gave his ticket to Wells, Fargo fc Co.
for collection and on Tuesday last re
ceived his money in full. He imme
diately bade farewell to his many
nends here, starting overland next
morning to JNew lork, from which
place he will sail for England on the
next steamer.
" He has neither father nor mother
living and his only known relative is a
sister, Beatrice Orban, a sixteen-year
old girl, living in Ybrkshire, England,
and attending school there, and young
Orban thought when he left that he
should go to school awhile himself
after he got home. He has no bad
habits, is very intelligent and indus
trious and I have no doubt the money
will be of great benefit to him and we
all here wish him God-speed and pros
perity." San Francisco (Co.) Chronicle,
May 3.
Wouldn't Forget Him.
A benevolent ge itleman. wh le wait
ing for a street car was approached by
negro who asked him for a nickel.
The gentleman only had a nickel, but
there was something so appealing about
the negro that he gave him the nickle
and decided to walk home.
"Thankee, sah! lhankee. De Lawd
aint gwiueter furget yer fur dis.
"I hat s all rignt.
"Yas, sah, yas."
"Just then "the car came along and
the negro hopped on with agility.
"Here." exclaimed tne gentleman.
"You are au old scoundrel."
"Yas, sah, vas, but de Lawd aint
. .. 1 1 . . ; -. .
gwine ter iurgit yer. ircuisuw
1 ravcler.
The aggregate number of car-ioaus
of peaches shipped out of Delaware
from 18!)7 to 18S1 was os,00:j, the great
est year being 1875, with 1,072 car-
oads, and the smallest 18X1, with only
8. A car-load is 550 baskets. lhe
bulk of the crop is shipped by vessel to
ialtimore. During the pas year evap
orators have been erected throughout
Delaware and Maryland, which are both
profitable in themselves and useful in
preventing gluts in the market. The.
crop for 1885 promises in both States to
be large.
A rrrnnrl nlrl mnn said at the bar of
the Supreme Court the other day that
e life of a gentleman included "not
lv rrood manners, but srood morals.
courtesy, kindness and honor and high
minded principles." X. O. Picayune.
MATRIMONIAL FISHING.
The Place for the Young Man Who Desire
to Acquire Wealth by "Marrying Rich.'
New York is the place to go for the
aspiring young man who desires to ac
quire wealth by the easy and expedi
tious method known as "marrying
rich." The daughters jof the wealthy
men of the metropolis are as romantic
in their natures asthe young girls are
elsewhere, and the bold, manly young
fellows from the country, if they are
smart, can beat the young dudes of the
city in bearing oil the matrimonia
world over, and they can't heip liking
a manly man.
' The young woman who marries
dude is either forced into it or else she
is poor and th'nks the fellow has got
money.
One of the re: .sons of the success o
the ambitious matrimonial aspirant in
New York is the ease with which he
can make the acquaintance or a young
ladv, and manage to meet her without
the knowledge of her parents. Miss
Kloise Lord, the daughter of the head
of the great dry-goods firm of Lord &
Taylor, went over to Williamsburg one
day last week and was quietly married
to a young man, her family knowing
nothing of the transaction until they
saw the notice of the wedding in the
next morning's paper. Stranger still.
the family knyw nothing about the
young man until the lady acknowledged
that she was his wife," and then told
them who and what he was. Jt seems
that she had met him at various places
where she visited and an attachment
sprang up between them. He was
poor, and realizing the insurmountable
opposition to him if he asked for the
hand of his affianced from her father.
he conceived that it would be better to
get marriedprivately and then face the
parental storm. It is to re hoped he is
worthy of the prize he has won, and
that the young lady will have no cause
to regret her peculiar action.
But it is not altogether fair weather
sailing for tha adventurers in Gotham's
matrimonial sea. Not all young ladies
who shine in fine clothes at the Astor
balls are heiresses, bv anv means.
There are female anglers, and plenty of
tnara, who are fishing for rich hus
bands. A sad, but not an unusual re
ult is that a young couple find after
they are married that both are victims
of misplaced confidence. Perhaps
neither has cared for the other but only
married in the hope of securing the
wealth which it was supposed the other
had. lhe thousands of blighted homes
and suits in the divoree courts testify to
the frequency of such ill-assorted
matches.
A lady correspondent thus pathetical
ly paints the poor girl in society. Fam
ilies with big fortunes usually have im
poverished relations in plenty, lhis is
true of some of the folks most conspic
uous in the society which gets the most
attention in print. And the parents of
the girl thus allied to wealth, but own
ing none of it, are anxious that they
should have every opportunity to ac
quire it by marriage, iherefore the
straining to put the youngsters among
the scions of millionaires, and to main
tain their share in a seemly manner, is
one of the interesting charae'eristics of
Ne v York life. The dresses of fortunate
cous'n.s, carefully disguised by radical
alterations and additions, are frequent
ly worn by these husband-hunters,
whose equally clever use of such at
tractions as nature and culture have
provided not infrequently carries thtm
to the goal of golden matrimony ahead
of more favored competitors.
" Oh, but it s an awful responsibility
to put ou a young girl, said an ex
perienced dowager, with whom I talked
about an individual instance. 'There
she is at the further end of the quad
rille, looking as placid and ingenious
as a child. Her partner is heir to
wealth enough to satisfy the costs of
the position which she wishes to oc
cupy as a w.re. lie is jusi me caicn
she d like to make. The task is im
posed upon her of making him pro
pose. She may not love him that's
no matter. The eyes of her father and
mother are on her. She is keenly
aware that every movement is scruti
nized by those two interested and able
critics. In fact, she isn t the light
hearted, careless, blithesome girl she
seems, but a cool, calculating adven
turess. However, if she should entrap
the fellow she'd undoubtedly make an
excellent wife, and he couldn't claim
to have been victimized. There is a
peculiar reason for celerity in her case,
by the way. She belongs to a family
who age early. She is only eighteen.
At twenty-live she will look to be
thirty. She knows this, because she is
a counterpart of what her mother used
to be. The shortening of her avail
able time is one of the considerations
forced forced on her by the determined
parents, and they are making every
possible sacrifice to advantage her
quest. Should she let so intangible a
thing as her heart stand in the way of
her progress? Of course, not' "
Utica (N. .) Herald.
Kidnaping Children.
The St. James' O'azette remarks that
at the beginning of the present century
it was commonly believed that master
chimney-sweeps used to kidnap the
children of well-to-do parents and force
them to the slavery of climbing chim
neys. There was a perfect, scare about
the matter at the time, and it was not
altogether without foundation. That
gypsies have frequently been in the
habit of stealing children when they
can, there is no doubt: and a case
which has just been heard at Middlesex
Sessions shows that kidnaping is even
now not extinct A Mr. Jickson, a
blind gentleman, and a mendicant by
profession,, was pursuing his calling
when he came across a little girl, whom
he first asked to ieai him over the road.
and then persuaded to accompany him
home. Here Mr. Jackson and his wife
detained the child., taking her out with
them to beg. Six months' hsrd labor
for the man and three for the woman
was the sentence for the offense. Av
Y. Post.
Wendell Ph'llipi left ocly about
$25,000, though once wealthy. Mrs.
Livcrmove says that the day before he
died he burned a small fortune in notes
he held against people for whom, as he
said, his executors might make trouble.
Boston Journal.
TRADES.
A London Salad Maker and
Profession
Beetle-Hunter.
There exists in London a gentleman
who makes his whole income by mix
ing salads. A few minutes before the
commencement of a dinner party he
drives up in a hansom and proceeds to
the mixing of the ingredients, which
are ready prepared for him. In a short
time the salad' is finished, it is placed
on the table, it is an incredible success.
Such an ethereal concoction seem3 as
if it can not have been made by hands,
but lather as is it hovered between two
hemi.-pheres, partaking of both while
belonging to neither. The greater part
of the materials are found for him;
some he uses, some it seems good to
him to re'ect, b it it is surmised that he
must bring with hirr tome singular
flavoring or ray terious herb which
gives to the salad its magical llavor.
Any way, tie salad is . a success; the
maker pockets a guinea fee, ami Hies
otl" in another han-om - possib'y to
dream of inventing another salad. No
one has ever seen the salad-maker at
work. He demands perfect solitude
for his artistic employment, and he has
a preference for silence while it is going
on. He has a blund, mys'erious, and
almost unctuous epress'o"J, which
s ems someh w to suggest a person
wh t ikes especial delight in the mix
ing of oil. He has a manner so quietly
polite, so ca'm, and self-contained, as
perfec ly to I afHe any inquiry which
could be put to. him as to his history or
the sec et of his trade. Were his
ho tess to be even as impetuous ss the
Princess in "Der A.-ra." sh would get
no inforraat'on o- t of the sa'ad-ni: k r.
The :ip strophe, "Tell me quickly, what
thy liaiiie and what thy country?"
would meet with no response beyond
an oily ero'Ie, a deprecatory bow, and
a gent shrug of the shoulders. Iu
what country I e discovered the secret
of his s dad. whe her there is a secret at
all or whe her the llavor 1 ei in the faith
of the p.ti taker, wh Te he lives when he
is at hoir.e. and what he do -s when he
is not making s dad a 1 these things
nrc mysteries. : u I w V never be known
during the lifetime of lhe salad-maker.
Not to ment'ore I in the same
breath with lhe s-a'a s-maker, yet having
a ceitain atlin'ry with h'm through the
mysteries of his occupat on, is the pro
fess oual 1 eetlc-hunt r. lie also de
mands to wo: k in secret, he al-.o de
mands a tolerable f e, but I his manner
(unl ke that of the salad-maker) is
som wiu t grim and unresponsive. He
will come wi.enever you send for him,
and will rid your house of the intruders
insiantaneously. but what he rather
preftrs i to be paid by the year and to
come wueneier he thinks nu ror a
sir all annual sum thirty shill'ngs or
thereabouts, if ' the writer's memory
docs not dece.ve him he will under
take that not a single b.:etle shall be
s; en in'" vour establishment during the
time it is under h's care. He appears
particularly t j Jike the air of re pecta
bility which is given him by this yearly
income, considering h'mself probably
ss thereby geit'ng into the position of
a person with rents coming in, and who
m giit even have to pay income-tax one
of thee davs. What is the subtile com
munication between him and the beetle,
and how he does his spiriting, is as deep
a mvste v s s the great salad question
p-iken i above. Like t':e sal. d-maker.
he allows of no witnesses jto h s per
formances, an i the manner or them
must eer remain a matter for con
jecture. He oniesat night, in the s orm
or th rain, but wh..t he does no one
knows. Probablv he is a successor to
the Pied Piper of Hamlin, and parades
the bas' nient playing on a pipe, bv
which he .lures his victim! to de-true
tiou. London Standard.
AN HONEST
MAN.
I-
Supposititious Integrity That I!d Not Pan
Out Satisfactorily.
"Good morn'ng. sii, go:jd morning,"
said a well appearing man, entering the
Welcome Call saloon, and addressing
the proprietor. "Sit down j lurj a mo
ment arid let m refresh your memory.
Several years ago I came in hero and
o-rt ! ilfillnr" nnpl h if wliivlri Jti fnrl
rs " J
it. Here i jour money, sir.
handing
over a dollar.
"I don't remember it."
"Thafs all right. I got! a ouart of
whiskv and to'd vou tha I would pay
you the following day. That night 1 re
ceived a d'spatch stating that my father
was dangerously ill. 1 hurried away,
having borrowed the money. N h ?n 1
got to New York, I fouud that my
fatlurwas not so bad oil that he did not
remember his interests, consequently I
was sent abroad. I remained awav
several years, attending to the duties of
a commission house, and only returned
a fw weeks ago. I hope vou will ex
cuse me for not paying you sooner."
'That s all right, ' said the saloon
keeper, "biit really I don t remember
that vou ever got anything of me."
did. rut that dohar in your
No bodv can sav 'tlrat I ever
failed to pay a debt that I owe. Some
times I have money and pometimes I
haven't,"
Well," said the saloon-keeper, 1
am very much obliged to you."
"Don t sav a word, my cear fel ow.
I could not sie 'p at n'ght if 1 thought
I owed anybody. Weil, I
must go.
fust-nit
Sav, have vou got any
brandy?" .
"uot some of the best in the conn
try."
"W hat s it wortnr
"Kig iteen dollars a gallon,
"That's cheap etougli. Just put me
i r '
up a gai on, pieasn. l naven i any
money with me, but i ii pay you in a
day or two. I am making my home
here now." 7
I can't give it to ou without the
money.
'What! Didn t I pay you for the
other stuff I got?" I
That s all right. You fll
pay me
the stull vou get now or vou
won t
get it.
"See here. I d'dn't owe you a dol
ar. It was a mistake. Give me my
money.
- . . . . .... . .
'.Never mind; 1 11 keep it; 1 he t me
I've wasted on you is worth abaut that
much. Good
morning.
Arkans tw
Traveler.
Japanese law compels people to sell
fish alive. They are vended in tanks.
TWO QUEER
Tb Bride of Oscar -Wilde.
MISS CONSTANCE LLOYD.
(Photographed by Downey.)
Mrs. Wilde is a very charming young wo
man, very modest, excellently well-bred.
educated to the tips of her fingers, and shi
believes thoroughly in her husband. She in
herited a fortune of $90,000 from her father.
One who knows her well thus rapturous!?
describes her: "A lovely head that droops ai
though it were a flower kissed by amoroui
rain-drops; her hair a chestnut, such as Taase
would have sung to; eyes so soft, so luminous,
as to appear like twin stars set in a heaven
of soul; and a mouth that innocently wonden
at the rosebuds. When she plays the birdi
top their warbling to listen, while onlooker
are dazzlei with the lustrous whiteness oi
her taper fingers" and thus and thuslyi
Such is the lady upon whom Oscar has con
ferred his hand, heart and aestheticism.
He Had (be Old 71am
Texas Sittings.
Colonel McLeod, although not a bad man
at heart, uses very rough language in his
intercourse with his family. On returning
to his home from his place of business a few
day ago he found his wife very much ex
cited over the outrageous conduct of a tramp,
who, being dissatisfied with the food given
him by Mrs. McLeod, had abusod her in the
most outrageous manner. "Johnny, said
Colonel McLeod to his ten-year-old son.
'when you heard that cowardly scoundrel
abusing your mother why didn't you run to
the store quick and let me know? Didn't
you hearf "Yes, pa, f was out in the stable
and beard what be said about the victuals
ma gave him and how he abused her, but"
But whatr "I thought it was you scold
ing ma. He used the same words you do
when the dinner don't suit you. I didn't
think anybody else would dare to talk to ma
that way."
A Great Living General.
Black woods Magazine.
GEN. VON MOLTKS.
Moltke the Silent der Scnweiger as he Is
called, Is generally considered the greatest,
and is certainly the most successful, of liv
ing soldiers. Ills achievements at Konig
gratz. Sedan and Fai is have never been sur
passed, and compel the admiration of all
competent military critics. Silent, quite,
cold, the very incarnation of concentrated
thought, just as you see him walking in the
streets or moving in a drawing room, when
everybody stands respectfully aside to let
him pass so he stood on the battlefield, hU
cold, clear eye passing slow ly from one point
to the other, and his cold, clear mind weigh
ing the chances of victory and defeat with
the intensity and serenity of a mathemati
cian pondering over the solution of soma
grave problem.
No one, it is said, has ever seen Court
Molke excited, not even at Sdan, where thjj
greatest victory of modern times decided th
fortunes of the two most powerful empires
of the continent. His calmness seems 'mys
terious, almost awful, and there is some
thing strange about that silent, lonely ok!
man. His wife died some years ago; h
never bad a child; his nearest relations,
with the exception of a nephew and nieca,
seem to be kept at a distance by him. Who
are his companions and his friendsl To
whom does be ever talk in a friendly, fam
iliar way! Nobody has ever been able to
tell me, though I havo often inquired.
An old man of 84, General Field Marshal
Count Hellmuth von Moltke remains one cA
the strangest characters the world has eve
produced. It is well worth goinj to Berlin
to see that great historical personage
LIEUT. A. W. QREZLT
Photographed by C.Jl. Harlow, IT. & A
To those who remember the refined, hand
some face of Lieut. Greely as exhibited ie
the published portraits of him b3fore hs
went north,' the above engraving of a recent
photograph of the brave lieutenant, made
by Ensign Harlow on the steamer Thetis,
will tell the story better than columns of
type, of the hardships he has survived. That
he may long enjoy his bard-earned laurels
is a universal wish. i
A Quaker City Itomtuee,
Norristown Herald. "
Twas midnight in the Quaker City. A
silvery sheen of moonshine bathed the vernal
beauties of Fairmount Park in a flood of
pale and ghostly light. The tall steeple
threw long shadows athwart the adjoining
buildings when all of a sudden, as if by
magic, the Keely motor continued to ref us
to mote.
Louisville Courier-Journal: Smoking It
said to prevent cholera. It is doubtless th
street-car cigar that puts the microbe to s
horrible death.