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About The Columbian. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 1880-1886 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 24, 1882)
' . COLUMBIAN. i i ' . !' ; , i tol. in. ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, NOVEMBER 24, 18821 NO. 1G. SHADOWS. A burst of golden sunshine, A whispering of the leaves, A music ripple on the brook, A joy, a wonder in each nook; A sweeping shadow o'er the land,. A Hushing of the tree tops, A ciimsoniug of the lakes, A peaceful mildness in the air, A thought of hidden mysteries there, A. glorious lading of the eun A summer's day is dono. A joy in childhood's playthings, A casting of them aid-; A flash of golden youthhond's hour, When joy breaks through the passing shower; A castle-bui Id i.ig is the air, j A cnerisnea nope tieieaieu; A smile, a joy, a doubt, A gleam reflected from the past; A sigh upon its bosom cast; A mystery ot a world unknown; And then a soul has flown. I Chamber's Journa'. JILTE3 TO IllS HEART'S CONTEXT. .Kenneth Ward and Katie Dene had been boy-and-girl sweethearts; but the death of Kenneth's parents and his adop tion by a wealthy uncle who took him away to live in the city, separated the juvenile lovers, leaving them both for the time inconsolable. Katie whispered her griefs in her dollie's ear as they lay with their heads on the same pillow, and cried herself asleep several nights in sue cession; and in saying her prayers when she came to the words, "Bless every body," it was a good while before she could bring herself to repeat them with out a mental exception of Kenneth's cruel uncle. At first Kenneth's mind was filled with desperate schemes for carrying off Katie to some undiscovered island, where, without molestation, they might play at Mr. and Mrs: Robinson Crusoe, and live a pair of happy hermits to the end of the chapter. But time soon effaces the sorrows of the young. Kenneth was put in a boys' school, where ambitiori to excel, and to head the rush in every bout at football gave ample occupation to his thoughts, and left little time for brooding over by gone ills. The Crusoe plan was either quite forgotten, or its carrying out de ferred till some indefinite period in the future. And Katie, too, before a month had passed, could play, and romp, and laugh and shake "her yellow curls as gleefully a3 in the days when Kenneth, her devoted knight, used to guard her pathway home against the besetments of surly dogs and butting billy-goats. Years went by, and Kenneth Ward, after a brilliaut career at eollege and a couple of years of travel, returned to fill his uncle's heart with pride. He must have quite forgotten the little Katie of his boyhood; for not only did he fail to go and seek her that they might 6et about their search for the enchauted island or somo retreat equally romantic, but he had actually courted, and was in due time engaged to Miss Grace Dand ridge, a dashing belle, whose father and Kenneth's uncle had long been laying their canny heads together to bring about that precise result. Miss Grace had been the idol of Seth Hansen, a handsome cousin of hers, to whose suit, it was rather more than whis pered, she had lent a not unwilling ear. But whether it was through filial obedi ence, or because she was prudent enough to discern the superior advantages of a match with a man of Kenneth Warde's dazzling prospects,' Miss Grace reluct antly dismissed her cousin and accepted the new suitor with a promptness which poor Seth, like the deposed Wolsey, though "somewhat sudden." When everything had been arranged between Warde and Grace Dand ridge, even to the setting of the wedding day, Kenneth, who was not so foolish in love but he could exist a brief season out of his financee's presence, bethought him of going to. spend a few weeks in his native village, which he had not seen since the day he had been carried off in a fit of heroic sulks over hi3 separation from Katie Dene. Of course Jio laughed at that foolishness. I suppose it was an accident at any rate it so happened that Kenneth's first visit in the old place was to the Denes'. He didn't know. Katie at first could hardly realize, indeed, that the yellow-headed tomboy, whose quarrels he was always taking up, and with whom he used to quarrel now and then him self, could have grown into so bewitch inly beautiful a woman. Katie seemed a litte hurt that Ken neth should have so totally forgotten her. She would have known him, she said, had they met on a deserted island. He hadn't changed a bit only to grow ever so much handsomer, she was on the point of adding, but checked herself with a blush. The time passed swiftly.and Kenneth's visit was prolonged till prudence whis pered it was time to think of returning if he would not be a laggard at bis own wedding. If the truth must be told, it would hardly have broken his heart if something had happened to keep him away altogether; for he and Kate were spending the days very happily, barring now and then a regretful sigh as tney thought secretly of what might have been. But Kenneth was a man of honor, and struggled manfully to maintain his loyalty. He had promised to marry Grae Daadridge, and must keep his word; and Kate Dene respected him too highly to wish him to play a traitor's part. It was the day before Kenneth's de parture, and he and Katie were taking their last walk in a neighboring wood, the scene of many a former ramble. Both were unusually silent. It was likely to be their final meeting, and it was strange they could find so little to say. At last Kenneth stopped suddenly. Katie looked up and saw that his face was deathly pale, while his frame trem bled violently. Grasping her hand with a quick, nervous movement, he ex claimed in a voice quivering with emo tion: ! "It is a sin to marry without love. I fancied, when I asked Grace Dandridge to be. my wife, that I loved her at least that I loved no other. - I But now that I have seen you again, a love (hat I had learned to look upon as! a childish fancy has come back with the augmented fer vor of manhood. Oh! Katie, it is you I love, and you only! Will you not be mine? It is not yet too late!" -vFor an instant her eyes sparkledwith an inexpressible joy.! But the next moment the" joyous light faded; and the look she turned on Kenneth was almost stern. "You have solemnly engaged your word," she said calmly and firmly, "and I should despise you if you broke it!" Kenneth Warde let j drop the hand which a moment before had lain trem bling in his clasp, but 'which was now firm and steady. He j had received his answer, and knew it was irrevocable. "You are right," he j murmured, de spairingly; "I must keep my promise, though it break my heart!" Neither spoke again till they parted at Katie's mother's door with the single word, "Farewell!" Kenneth found his uncle in a fine p&s siou on his return the evening before the day set for the we Iding. "Bear it like a man, my boy! ' cried the old gentleman, thrusting a letter into Kenneth's hand; "I suppose this will explain all, and relieve me from the hateful task." Kenneth opened the letter and read: "Mr. Warde: I trust you will for give whatever pain this will cause you. I esteem you too highly to give you my hand without my heart. The latter has long been bestowed upon my cousin,Seth Hansen; and it was only the importunity of friends that induced me, in a moment of weakness, to accept another's offer. But at the last hour, I found myself un equal to the sacrifice of a true love to a feigned one; and yielding to Seth's per suasion, I consented to his plan of a se cret marriage, and am now his wife. I re main, with much respect, your friend, Grace Ransex. "Bravo, Kenneth!" cried his uncle, as the young man broke into a hearty laugh; "I'm glad to see you treat ' it so! The loss is her's not yours." It was the day after the wedding th it was to have been, that Kenneth Warde, dusty and travel-stained, presented him self before Mrs. Dene, and asked for Katie. "She has gone for a walk in the wood," was the answer. 'She hasn't been quite well for a day or two past." Kenneth waited to hear no more. He hurried along the old familiar path; and there, where he had spoken the rash, im passioned words, which Katie had ans wered so nobly, he found her seated, leaning her head pensively upon her hand, the picture of despondent sorrow. He was quite close before she looked up; and when she did so, he was startled to see how wan and haggard were her feat ures. "Wish me joy, Katie!" he cried. "I do wish you joy, Kenneth Mr. Warde," she answ red listlessly ; "but I hardly expected to see you here; and where is your your wife?" "Wife? the best of it is I have no wife." Katie started to h?r feet, staggered, and would have fallen, had not Kenneth caught her in his arms. Then he told her all, and never did mortal man before relate with so much gusto the story of his own jilting, and when he kissed Katie at the end, why she let him. A Concatenated Narrative. Cackston, who wanted to sell his farm, was approa jhed by a man who wanted the place. "How's health down there?" "Health is good," exclaimed Cackston with enthusiism. "Any chills?" "I tell you what's a fact: Sometime ago an old man who bad been shaking for years with palsy came to my house, stayed a week, and hain't shook none since." "Is your familv well?" "Splendid health, sir." Next day the man again approached Cackston and said: "You have misrep resented your place to me and I'm going to whale you right here." "I made no misrepresentation," he nervously replied. "I asked you how health was down there -'' "And I said that health was good. Now, sir, health is good. Everybody wants health, and its good wherever you find it." "You said that on old man who had palsy " "I said that an old man who had palsy came to my house and hadn't shook none since. He died." "You said that your family was well. I found that your family are all sick." "My f mily is well. Them peo ple living in that house is not my family; my folks live in town." "I ought to whale you," said the man, "for I know you have lied somewhere. I'll see you again in a day or two, and if by that time I have found the township, section, and range of the lie you told, look out." Free Press. A Prolific Mother. Mrs. Mary Austin, who lately died at Washington, had forty-four male ohildren, eleven of whom survive. She was a doctor of medicine and surgery, and served through the war with the rank of major. Dr. Mary Walker is small potatoes in deed as compared with this lady, never baviDg oven had twins, while Mrs. Aus tin had triplets six times. A WESTERN' MAUD MULLRR. Miss Muller, so the gsips say . Flirted in quite a shameless way; But Maud with a laugh, pronounced it fudge Yet we caught her wink at the ratty Judge. And the Judge-but we mention this sub rose blushed up to the roots of bis bulbous nose Till he craned his neck, and, in passing by, Gave a sini?ter wink with his deader eye. Quoth Maud to herself, as on she passed, I've his royal nibs in tow at last; "My mother shall weAr a sealskin saoque My pa awinjj out in his broadcloth black: . "My brother shall sip his. whisky-skins, And my sister revel in gay breastpins 1" Quoth the Jndge, as he sauntered listless on, "She's a rattliug gyirl; you bet I'm gone ! "No doubt my last wife's ma will kick, And my heirs cut up the very Nick; "Bnt tho' I've known her a short, short spell, You bel I'll have her in spite or well, "No matter his word 'twas short and stout, And the name of a place that's now played out According to Beecher. Alack for all ! The maid and Judge ne'er wedded at all, For he passed in his checks from too much gin, And the maid grew long and lank and thin, And eke, as her chances glimmered away, Shu ceased to ilirt and began to pray. God pity the maid and pity the Judge, And thee days of twaddle and bosh and fudge, For all sad words from a heart bereft, The saddest are these: "You bet I'm left." The Trawled Lady. A jaunt over a railway is often as good as a trip to the minstrels. Last week we took a spin over the Michigan Cen tral, and during our waking moments were highly edefied. amused and in structed by the tone and conversation of two ladies in the seat fornist our own, across the aisle and abaft the binnacle. The variety of their intelligence and a vast fund of general information attracted our attention, and we just sat there and drank it all in like cold truth from a living spring. "Do you suppose they have air brakes on this train?'' inquired the one next the window with a bronze green plume in her hat. "Oh, yes, they run 'em now on all trains." "What are they for?" "Oh, they are to ventilate the car and give 'em more fresh air. . I heard they intended to put 'em ou cattle cars so the poor animals could get plenty of oxy gen." "Indeed! Tms is a wonderful age. Did you ever ride in a chair car?" "Oh, ves, they are just the nicest kind of cars. Some of 'em are real easy, too; have rockers on 'em. But I like a sleeper the best." "Yes, Ihey are more homelike and comfortable. If any accident happens they unhook the sleeper and leave it at the last station." "Why, my! How nice!" "Yes, and the sleeper is much more comfortable to ride in because it don't go as fast as the rest of the train." "It don't?" "O, no. Charles says the Pulinan Company won't allow the railroads to haul the sleepers near so fast as the balance of the cars." "Why how strange!" "Yes, very." "What do you suppose makes the cars sway so, back and forth?" "O, I heard the company had been ex perimenting lately with rockers on the cars. It's something to do with concus-. sion and retraction of the expansive com pression, or something of that kind." "What a wonderful age!" "It is really. And these accident in surance companies are a great improve ment over the old style of traveling. Charles says that all first class roads carry them nowadays, and it makes one so much more secure tc know that they are on the same train with one of them. They are worked by electricity, and must cost awful high, don't you think so?" "Yes, they must that." lSagacioas bon-ln.Law. t One of the old veterans of Wall street was giving some fatherly advice to one of his clerks about to be married, and in cloiing his sermon, he said: "Directly after the ceremony, there will be a banquet, of course. When your wife turns over her plate she will find a check for $50,000 under it." "Do you really think so?" "Oh, I know it. That's the prevailing style now a-days. The check will be passed around and finally given to you to pocket." "And the next day I will draw the money on it?"' "Oh, no, you won't." "Why not?" "Because there won't be any to draw. Don't make a dolt of yourself by rushing to the bank." "No matter what you thought. Save the check to frame and hang up. When I was married, thirty years ago, my wife found one under her plate. I've got it yet. I thought too nvuch of her father to mortify his feelings, and I know he has always respected me for it. That's all, my soni If you run short on your bridal tour, telegraph me.". "I trust yoti are putting a few pennies aside in your savings bank," said a fond father to his son, who was beginning to earn money by doing errands and odd jobs. "Not any, pa. Ever since I saw you shaking out a dime from it I have re garded it a blind pool. I have no faith in it." That ended the boy's catechism for that day. Boston Globe. I Overdosing. Children should consume as little medicine as possible. If prop'erly fed and cared for, they throw off illness readily., Some simple remedy, known and tested in the family, is all they re quire in light attacks of cold, colic, or the small ailments common to child hood. To dose infants with drugs is al most criminal. I am myself one of a large family, all grown to maturity, and all enjoying good health; yet I never re member the administration of anything stronger than castor oil or sweet tincture of rheubjrb during our childish distem pers. We were up with the dawn and in bed at twilight; we were fed with regularity three times a day, and only three; there were no lunch eons between meals allowed in our home. Oatmeal and milk for breakfast, meat and vegetables for dinner, with some plain, wholesome pudding and seasonable fruit, bread and milk at five o'clock this was our bill of fare, vaaied only by special indulgence, or on holi days or birthdays. Pickles, rich sauces, cake and pastry, were unknown except by name; and we never tasted tea or coffee until we had reached "years of discretion," and could decide for our selves. The result was our good health then and in after life. But many moth ers and nurses seem never to feel satis tied as to the health and well-doing of their little ones unless they havethem "under I treatment." They are perpet ually "purging" or "cooling"' or "strengthening" the helpless victims of their solicitude. This is the more to be deprecated because the great majority of the so-called ailments with which very young children are troubled are the di rect effects of bad feeding or of ill-management of some sort, or are in themselves efforts of nature to get rid of the stomach-hardening, or irritating masses with which children are fed or physicked. The practice of administer ing sedatives to infants is particularly reprehensible, and ought to be strongly denounced. There is no sedative which can be used with safety in the case of in fants, except by medical men versed in the action of drugs and familiar with the indicative phenomena. ol health and dis ease. The use of cordials and drains is simply a reckless play with poisons. Alex. Stephens and the Countryman. The Atlanta Post-Appeal prints the following: Soon after the entrance of the train containing the great commoner a coun tryman was sighted on the rear end of the back car, prominently perched on top of the bumber, gazing with a look of mingled admiration and awe into the face of Henry Grady, who was making his exit through the doorway. After a minute and gratitying survey of the noble physique of the Apollo of the local press, he lost all consciousness of his humble station and gave way to the he roic promptings of a patriotic spirit. He ventured: "Governor, can I have the honor of shaking hands with you, seein' as I've come a good ways to do it, and might never have the chance of approachin yon agin?" . "Certainly, sir; but I am not the gov ernor here he comes." "Is that him?" "That is Governor Stephens." "Well, rilbedurned!" "What did you remark?" 0 "I'd : heard he 'was a progedy; but if that's the biggest man they could trump up for governor of Georgy, I think we'd better leave the State-, for the country's degeneratin'." "We don t estimate a statesman by ins physical developments, it's the brain; the governor has the greatest brain in Georgia." "J don't care nothin' about brain; but the idea of a man bein' governor that's got to be carried aronn' like a bundle o' clothes." ; - A Man Ought to be Arrested for Pro crastinating. The Texas Sittings prints the following: There is an old negro in Austin who claims to have studied "flosify outen a book." Ho went to the justice court and said: "Jedge, kin I git a 'dictment writ agin dat wuftless nigger, Pete?" "What's he been doing?" "He's a procrastimator." He's bin -a procrastimatin'. ' ' "Procrastinating? There's no law against that." "No law agin procrastimation? Den what's de law fur? Ain t procrastimation de thief ob time?" "Certainly, I believe it has been so s&tj&cl "Well, den, ain't Pete a thief?" "Yes, you might so construe it, but you cannot convict a man for stealing time."; "No, but when we hab got de proof on him for stealing time, we hab got de circumstantial ebidence agin him fur stealin money, fur don't flossify say dat time am money? Got yer dar, jedge." And the old man went out chuckling to himself: "Got him dar. Got de jedge dis time suahyer a foot high." The ruling passion strong in death: "John," feebly moaned a society lady, who was about shuffling off this mortal coil, "John, if the newspapers say any thing about my debut into another world, just send me a dozen marked copies." New York Commercial Ad vertiser. This slang does raise the very mischief. When a handsome young wife went to a hardware store to get one of these wood en contrivances to mash potatoes, and said, "I want a masher," every man in the shop, from the boss tm the office-boy, started to wait on her. Oddities of Kissing. I ' The Providence Transcript alleges "that no man has kissed Susan B. An thony for 30years." Much blame attaches to the men.j An Italian image peddler was sent to prison for kissing a Cleveland woman. Wonder how she found out after the kiss ing that he wasn't a count? f Phila delphia News. "No one shall kiss his or her children on the Sabbath or fasting days," was an old Connecticut Blue law. Herein we see the origin of going Sunday night to kiss the grown-up . children of other people. Boston Globe. Young men, don't pay the minister over $10. jYou will need all your cur rency the first time Belinda puts her dimpled arms around your neck and tries to trade off two kisses for a spring bonnet. f New Orleans Picayune. An excited old maid in a temperance lodge a few evenings since read an original poem entitled, "The Lips that touch Liquor Shall. Never Touch mine," and the young men present gave her three cheers but no kisses. Jersey City Journal. The Atlanta Constitution has never found a farmer wise enough to explain how red ears of corn can come from white kernels. What's the odds, so long as finding a red ear at a husking bee entitles you! to kiss the best looking girl in the crowd? Detroit Free Press. Talk about your outside kisses. Give us the kiss of the good housewife, which is always preceded by a wipe of her mouth by the nice and virtuous kitchen apron. (Of course by this we don't mean the kiss of any other fellow's housewife.) Kentucky State Journal. The young lady to whom her lover sang "Darling, Kiss My ' Tears Away," was just leaning out into the moonlight for that purpose when a No. 12 bull-dog happened around the corner. Talk about your "unkissed kisses," there was a back yard full of them while the town clock was striking one. J Rochester Post-Express. Victor Hugo is said to be troubled with poor sight. It is also said that he kissed the party of female dry goods clerks from! Boston who recently visited him; and it: may be that the binge on one of their eye-glasses gouged him in the optic, and impaired his vision. Norris town Herald. flaxlms for the Thoughtful. A burnt moustache dreads the short cigar. There's many a slip between the pulpit and the church door. A sliver in your hand is worse than two thousand in the hand of your friend. Never build castles in the air. They are ever liable to be overthrown. Put a rich man on mule-back, and the mule will throw him just as quickly as be would ajleggar. Least said the sooner the deadlock is ended. Piety is often but knee deep. You can't make a portemonnaie out of a two legged calf. Like the dog in the manger, the nose is above kiising and is always ready to interfere with the kissing of others. When the spring bonnet comes into the house, money flies out of the pocket book. ) Oh, 'that mine enemy had been at home during spring cleaning. A cigarette in the month shows which way the money goes. Lonesome is whom handsome does. The man; who pleads his own cause is unloved of lawyers. The man' who saves five cents by walk ing gives ten to the shoemaker. It is a short layin' that has no turn in it. . The boot-tree is known by his boot. The scissors has two blades, crying steal, steal. Horest tea furnishes its own grounds. Of two women, choose the one that will have you. The beauty is not so bright as she is painted. I Speech is cheap, but votes are what tell. A woman after his own heart is what pleaseth the man. Money is the principal thing; there fore get money, and with all the gettings get it well invested. The coal-hole goeth before destruction and a banana skin before a fall. The raoe is not always to the swift, but to the pool-seller. A short I note soon goes to protest Boston Transcript. , The Dasgers op Buggy Riding. An editor who probably knows what he is talking about says that buggy riding is oonducive to the tender feelings. We don't, for our part, see how it could very well help being so. When a young man in a soap-dish hat and polka-dotted socks drives up in his side-bar buggy in front of the house where she lives, and she comes to the door all rigged out in things which we haven't time to enumer ate, and trips down the front step, and the young' man just tosses her into the narrow seat and gets in beside her and then taps the horse with the whip, while the buggy quivers like a thing of life and a joy forever, and the young man beside her doesn't know but every minute wpll be the next one, why, we don't see why buggy riding snould not be the most conducive to the tenderest feelings of anything extant. Horseback riding is dold and distant, buggy riding is the thing, and the longer the ride and the more lonely the road, the better. Cheek. A history which takes no account of what was said by the Press in memor able emergencies, befits an earlier age than oursj Horace Greeley. ! VARIETIES. Connecticut now has but one active gin distillery. London Queen: The bridegroom pro vides house linen. Mr. Tennyson's new play is called "The promise of May." , Miss Louisa M. Alcott has been for bidden by her physician to write.' Mr. Labouchere say that France is -now one gigantic gambling establish ment. An English financial critic says signifi cantly that England nevor hawks her wares abroad. ; New York Commercial Advertiser: Thirsty men catch at straws oftener than drowning ones do. Drunkenness is increasing in France just in proportion as wine is ceasing to be the national drink. The Boston Herald estimates that there are not more than 6300 German voters in Massachusetts, and 47,000 Irish voters. Plantation philosophy: "Misery may like company, but I'd rather hab de rheumatis in one leg den ter hab it in bofe." ) "When my coupin was married," said Mrs. Ramsbotham, "I gave her a hand some water giraffe and two goblins." Punch. i London Saturday Review: After all, most friendships comelichtlv: so. if thev also go lightly, we ought not to be as- tonisnea. The Baroness Burdett-Coutts-Bartlett owns the smallest ronv in tha world. It stands thirteen inches high, and is five years of age. : Alligators are now raised in Florida for their hides, which brine hicrh orices. Farms have been started in various parts 01 tne states. A Hoboken miser, Joseph L. Lewis, bequeathed $950,000 in government bonds toward the extinguishing of the national debt. It is proposed in Chicago to introduce a text book on good behavior into the public schools. The school board has not yet passed on the matter. "Neuralgia" is the name borne by a charming girl of Iowa. Her mother found it on a medicine-bottle, aid was captivated with its sweetness. As Indians never mutilate a suicide, and as Custer's body was the only one of his murdered foroe unmutilated, Buffalo Bill is confident that Gen. Custer shot himself. j The pop pistol disturbed the congre gation in a church at Gloucester, Mass. Little Johnny Dow had brought his revolver as a plaything with which to while away the long hour of worship. In a particular field are ninety-seven water-melons, and it is softly approached by five colored men in search of a wood chuck. How many times does ninety seven go into five?" Detroit Free Ptess. j "Thim singers is doing well this sea son, Mike.'t "And how is that?" "Faith, and don't yez read the papers? Don't yes know that in Pennsylvania they're going to make Patti's son the governor?" In every ! tobacco factory at Key West there is a "reader." Cubans can not talk without gesticulation, and in order to keep them from talking a person is hired to read aloud to the hands during working hours. Graphic:; The latest-and most ingeni ous novelty in headgear for gentlemen of artistic tastes and slender incomes is said to be the tall white "plug" of last sum mer, with a base burner painted on the front side and a coal hod behind. "Married but six weeks and in tears!" exclaimed a friend to a weeping bride. "Yes the first cruel shadow has fallen athwart our pathway. It is settled at last; either I must give up eating taffy or George must cut off his moustache." This is progress; this is civilization. To level to the earth the mighty inou bus of mental and moral wrong not by smiting with the swonl or by the hurling of cannot shot, but by the golden shaft of thought,; winged from the bow of pure and lofty wisdom. Some Englishmen recently got up lawn tennis at Schwalbach, Germany, and after a day or two the mayor re quested that the gentlemen would play with their coats on, as the ladies of the place were shocked at the want of de cency shown by the foreigners. Fortnnc In Men Hath 8ome Small Dlf I ference Hade. "Who is this well-dressed man with the seal-skin overcoat, hat and gloves? He carries a gold-headed cane and is fol lowed by a bulldog in a scarlet blanket. Do you know him?" "Oh yes; that is Slugger, the pugilist. Fine man.) Hard hitter. Very popular. Always surrounded by a crowd of ad miring friends, as you see him now. He is very well off, was given a benefit ' the other night that netted him 500." ! "Indeed; he is very fortunate." "Oh, yes, a very fortunate fellow; ranks high in bis profession, you see." "Who is that white headed, wearjr looking old man close behind the pugi list and his friends? Poor man, he seems thinly clad for this wintry weather. Do you know him?" "Oh, yes; that is old Faithful, a coun try clergyman. Very learned man, they say. Been a preacher of the goipel all his life, but poor as a rat. He had a benefit too, the other night." "Oh, indeed 1 Did it net him much?" "I don't think it did. You see, it was a sort of a surprise party. His parishion ers called upon him in a body, ate up everything there was in the hquso and left him presents to the amounl of sixty cents." Holidaysbnrg Standard.