Image provided by: Dallas Public Library; Dallas, OR
About Polk County times. (Dallas, Or.) 1869-1??? | View Entire Issue (July 24, 1869)
1 B U R IE D A L IV E . FIRESIDE MISCELLANY t = « = « ---- - ABOUT W OM EN. county, New York, who had a daughter B Y O VERLAND ROUTE afflicted by this terrible malady. He dipped her in cold water, aud laid her in the sun till »be straightened into place __ A Parisiau lady was informed that. . _ her h i L d b.d j u f died i . . . T “ Ah !” replied inadame, without enio- iected stock of tion, “ misfortuues never come singly ! This morning poor dog Azore was Dry Good«, greatly troubled with indigestion.” Groceries, About a month ago. says the Marys — Reader did you ever enjoy the ec ville Appeal, the lower portion o f the static bliss of courting? It not, then BLMBOLD’S f l u i d e x t r a c t b u - Second Pistrict was thrown into a state get a little gul-an-try. CUU U pleasant in taste and «dor, free T know I’m •‘horrid ugly," Jane, of excitement about the mysterious from all injurious proporti*«, and unmediate Yon scarcely need have stated — It’s proposed to put married men circumstances under which a young in uniform to keep them from flirting That interesting fact again, in iu action. Reeause it’s antiquated. | lady o f that locality, nud very well con- with innoeeut young ladies. And—putting flatt’ ry on the shelf— ! neeted. had been buried, and yet no I tell you, Jane, sincerely, — Doctor, whenever I lean my head | think you’re pretty plain yourself | definite information could be jpithered on my arm in this way, it paius me ter Although ,1 love you dearly. to authorise publication iu the papers. ribly. What shall I d o ? ” “ Stop * Since that time, however, we have been Your nose is,not the kind o f nose leauing your head ou your arm in that __ “ How many children have I? ” ask To satisfy a painter; j enabled to obtain the following facts: Boots & Shoes way, madam.’ Yt urJocks are like the red, red ro«e, ed a woman of a spirit rapper. “ Four.” The young lady, whose name is unnec Or ^ust a little fainter. — “ My dear,” said a rural wife to “ And how many have I ?” ashed her Ladies9 Dress Goods, ^ w T i E L M B O L D ' S EX TR A C T BUCHU essary to mention, upon returnin'; from I'pon jo u r cheek the glow of youth B en ’s Clothing, I J . gives health and Vigor Jtotbe frame, aud Shine* heet-vroot colored nearly; early mass on a Suuday morning, was her husband, on his return from town, husband. “ Two,” was the astonishing bloom to the pallid cheek. Debility Is aeeem- ( I ’m hound, you know, to tell the truth, suddenly taken ill o f disease o f the what was the sweetest thing vou saw iu reply. Mistake somewhere. pauied by many alarming symptoms, and if ETC., ETC., Although I love you dearly)! lwart, and, as was supposed at the time, bonnets in the city ?” “ The ladies fa — A widow, occupying u large house Which ho proposes to sell as CHEAP as the treatment is submitted to, consumption, insan ity or epeleptie fits ensue. ces, my love.” •it's needless to possess two eye* was sutfoented to death, owin'; to her in a fashionable quarter of London, same quality of goods can be p'oeured Without the least connection; this side of Portland. unusual fleshiness. A physician, her One of our artists has recently paint sent for a wealthy solicitor to make her Where each inquiring optic tries own uncle, had attended to her in her ed a picture of Patience— a shopkeeper will, by which she disposed of between A contrary direction. and See M e, last moments, and pronounced her dead waiting upon ladies who don’ t know fifty aud sixty thousand pounds. He C a l l It s.t^jry much more useful, though, Than ornamental, clearly; The death o f this young lady in the exactly what they want, but expect to proposed soon alter, was accepted, and D o n ’ t F o r g e t th e Chicltamiu. I'm qorry that you squint, you know, bloom of life, caused much sympathy in before the seasou is over. fou n d himself the happy husband o f a Although I love yqu dearly. 4 J. H. L E W IS . the neighborhood, and her funeral, — I f a lady wants to touch the feel penniless adventuress. I thmk I ’ ve said enough to prove which took place in the evening o f the ings o f a gentleman in a tender spot — Indies and Indians paint their fa You're not a perfect Venus; OR NON-RETENTION, OR INCONTI- day o f her death, attracted a larsrc con let her sit— with deliberate carlessness ces. (And .quite sutfieiqpt to remove Extremes meet— civilization aud __ NENCE o f Urine, irritation, inflamation course of people. She had died about if she can continue so to do— upon his barbarism. Unpleasant thoughts between us). or ulceration o f the bladder qr kidneys, disease» So, when you criticise again of the prostrate glands, atone in the bladder j 1 o'clock in the morning. There is new silk hat. Simuhuneosly with its My visage too severely, — During a concert in the Boston calculus gravel or brick duet deposits, and all rpthing remarkable iu this accouut, ex crush will be the emotions of its terri You'll catch it, I cfn tell you, Juoc, the diseases of the bladder, kidneys and drop Music Hall, recently, when the organist M ain s tre e t. O p p osite C ou rt H o u se , cept probably the short lapse o f time fied owner. Although 1 love you dearly. sical swellings was exhibiting the full powers o f the from the time o f the lady’s death to USE HELMBOLD’S FLUID EXTRACT" — A clergyman, who was consoling a instrument, a lady was enthusiastically New Store ! New Goods J that of her interment in one of the BUCHU. A L O V E R ’S A T R A T E G T . young widow on the death o f her has conversing with her neighbor about her Catholic cemeteries of the Second Dis band, spoke in a very scriou- tone, re household arrangements. She suitec AM NOW PREPARED TO OFFER A A good story is related o f a wealthy trict. large assortment o f choice marking that he was one o f the few— the tones o f her voice to those o f the London banker, who is very good ua But the report goes on to say. that such a jewel o f a Christian— you can organ. The organist made a sudden tured but inclined to be a little fast in on that same evening, the sexton of the PROVISIONS. not find his equal, you well know. To transition from “ ft” to “ pianissimo;' GROCERIES , his views o f life, lie had ih his em grave yard, having some business to which the sobbing fair one replied, with consequently the audience was some WOODEN WARE, ploy a favorite clerk, u youni; mau about attend to in town left his son.of mature an almost broken heart: “ I ’ll bet 1 what amused at being informed by her, TOBACCO, twenty one, remarkably handjsome, mod age, in charge o f the keys, with the in NFEBLED AND DBLTCATE CONSTI will.” FRUITS ; in a shout, “ We fried ours in butter ! est aud intellectual. For these (ju «li struct ions to close the gates at the usual TUTIONS of both sexes, use Helmbold’a CIGARSt Extract Bucbu. It will give brisk and ener — When may young ladies be said to nes he was liked by every one, ;uid the hour, after making his round through YANKEE NOTIONS, Etc., Etc. getic feeling, apd enable you to sleep well. be economical ? When they resort to A W I F E O F SE V E N H U S B A N D S . ¡banker did not escape the general feel the cemetery, •» • in order that no visitor Also, a ing o f good will. He was as poor as might he accidentally confined inside. tight lacing to prevent waist -J at ness. There it a woman in Cleveland, Ohio, General Assortment of Tin-ware, — The New York Commercial says his salary, and had no connections to About dusk, the sexton’s son, while who has had seven husbands within the push him forward after fortune ; aud going his round, passing near the tomb the first question that disturbed man I »lesigu to keep only tho CHOICEST and past eight years. Within a week after so, like most English clerks, he would in which the young lady had been bur was the “ woman question,” aud thinks REST articles and sell them at a Small Profit the death o f the first, she united her ri$# to one hundred and twenty pounds ied scarcely an hour before, heard low, it bids fair to be the last. For Cash. fortunes with a man who soon lost his a year, go on for eight years at ten heartrending moanings coming from M Y M O TTO .— Quick »ales and small — The following is going around as life in u street brawl. Returning from p rofits. pounds a year rise, aud marry when he hehiud the marble slab. Losing his a domestic drama: Scene I — Mother the funeral she accepted the proposal G. B. S T IL E S . f p A K E NO MORE UNPLEASANT OR ggts tyqphundred a year; henceforth to self-possession, and overcome with fear, in the cellar splitting wood. Scene 11 unsafe remedies for unpleasant and dan o f a third, and the next day was legal vegetate and find that frhe additional he hurriedly left the scene and closing --D aughter in the parlor singing to gerous diseases Use Helinbold’s Extract Bu-. ly married to him ; but it appears that ten pounds only keeps fiacc with the the main gate o f the cemetery went Clarence Fitznoodle the pathetic ballad ebu and Improved Rose Wash. husband No. 8 was not to man to suit additional babes in the household. home, and it was not until morning: that “ Who will care tor Mother N ow ?” tier ideas, and she soon filed a bill fur a The banker, on Sunday afternoon, he related the circumstance to his hor — A new-made widow went lately to divorce, which was granted to her. A NORTH FRONT AND E STREETS, nobody expected, would occasionally ror-stricken family. Information o f a life insurance office to receive the few mouths elapsed and No. 4 pledged ,ask the young man to visit his family at the fact was immediately s^nt to the PO R TLA N D , OCN. amount of a policy on her husband's himself to love, protect, and care for his suburban villa; as the conversation bereaved family o f the deceased, and life, which had providentially been made her. This marriage also proved unhap o f the young man was so clever, it could workmen were soon encased in opening payable to her. The President though? py for both parties, and again the not but be o f advantage to bischildreu. the tomb and breaking open the coffin it only proper to condole with heron courts interfered and dissolved the tie I ha,ve uot mentioned that there was inclosing the remains o f the young lady. «T E N T I E N G IN E HE GLORY OF MAN IS STRENGTH.. her bereavement. “ 1 am truly sorry which bound them together. In May. Therefore the nervous and debilitated a beautiful young daughter o f nineteen The spectacle was too horrible to des AND madam, to hear of your loss.” “ That’s 1867, No 5 was smitten with her hould immediately use Helmbold’* Extrhct years, jbut that may always be under cribe. Her face and body were in a B U I L D E R « . Bucbu. always the way with you men. You charms, and after a short courtship a B O I L E R stood is any English family that have terrible state of distortion, her hair are always sorry when a poor woman prie.-t slipped the marriage noose over known .wedded life long enough Rut torn from the roots. In the terrible 1IESE WORKS ARE LOCATED ON THE gets a chance to make & little money.” his head, and he became the lord and bank of the river, one block north of there were, o f course, no attentions on convulsions which had preeeeded her master o f her household effects. Two Couch’s Wharf, and have facilities tor turning — A burly looking female o f unniis »the part of the young man, other than death she had literally harrowed her months they lived in peace; but at the out machinery promptly and efficiently. .extremely delicate, reserved and most beautiful face with her nails, and her takable Celtic origin was arraigned Wc have seeured the services o f Mr. John end o f that time the wife became jeal Nation, as Director of the Work*, whose exp«- proper. The youth, iu spite o f two or clenched fists in contact with her foam before Judge Becker a short time since While na ous o f another woman in the immedi rience on this Coast for sixteen years gives him three days’ invitation to the banker’s ing lips showed the traces o f her teeth. for some ordinary offence. ate neighborhood, and'she again resort a thorough knowledge of the various kinds ot country seat to breathe fresh air and It is unnecessary to say that life was ture had munificently endowed her with ed to the ex>urts to sever the nuptial machinery required for mining and milling ANnOOD AND YOUTHFUL V IG O R health aud physical strength, the ques purposes, clear his lungs o f London fog and smoke, yn tirely extinct. are regained by Hclmbold’s Extract Bu- knot, which was done. In October of We are prepared to execute orders for all was evidently very iU, aud though he \ We will not relate the terrible im- tion of good looks had been neglected the same year No. G presented himself I classes o f Machinery and Boiler Work, such as declared himself well and robust, the pYssions which this awful circumstance in the haste with which she had been and a quick marriage followed. For banker ahook his head. produced on the minds present, for it prepared for the world. MINING AND STEAMBOAT MACHINERY What are you up here for? inquired «»•me reason they failed to agree, the “ I cannot make out what is the mat can be more readily imagined than des husband insisting that he was the head S A W and F L O U R I N G M I L L S . ter with my clerk,” said the banker to cribed. The coffin and t«>tnb were the magistrate. o f the household, and the wife denying My beauty, I reckon ! QUARTZ HULLS, MINING PUMPS, a confrere who was in the back office closed once m ore; this time forever, it. so they separated, and a bill again Your what? ♦with him after the youth had brought upon the victim o f fortune, and the Ac., Ac., Ac. released her o f a troublesome partner. My beauty! •in some papers. “ W ell, you are green. story went out. but indefinitely, as we Manufacture and Repair Machinery of all In February, 1868, she again sought Are you certain of that ? kind*. I should say. tor a man o f your time o f have already remarked. It is due to HXTTERED CONSTITUTION RESTOR- to try the bliss of married life, and uni Oh, bedad, there’s no mistake ! life and experience,” said banker nurn her the family o f the deceased to say that I ED by Helmbold’« Extract Bachu. Then I discharge you—you ain’ t ted her fortunes with No. 7. This time Iron S h u tte r W o r k at San F r a n c is c o two. “ Don’t you see what’s the matter? they deny the statements as noted above, C ost and F r e ig h t . they lived together just a year, when H e’s in love.” but as the facts have become street ru guilty; and the lady took her depart they concluded they had had enough Wheeler A Randall’* Patent Grinder and “ In love? bah ! He is modesty and tuor, we have thought proper to give ure.— y . 0. Picayune. Amalgamator. o f each other and separated. The wife — A ltio dc »Janeiro correspondent of propriety itself.” th^m as they have been given to us. again applied for a divorce and it was Dunbar’s Self-adjustiug Patent Piston Packing the Montgomery (A la .) Mail says that “ I tell you it is a fact, and with a Stevens’ “ “ “ “ granted her, and she is now anxiously Either applied to old or new .steam cylinders. rich old fellow’s daughter, who would the feature o f the carnival which made D u l l y f o r L i z z i e — ElizabethTady waiting for No 8. In 1867, her daugh no more think of having him fur a son- the most impression on him was “ the (Quartz S ta m p e rs, S h oes and D ies, Stanton writes thus of the woman’s ter by adoption was a sprightly girl of in-law than you would.” unusual number o f very plump women ELMBOLITS EXTRACT BUCHU AND Of the best hard iron. 1 right* prospect 20 years hence: “ Twen- fifteen summers, married a brother o f I impro -ed Rose Wash cure secret and del “ Oh, the haughty old fool; my clerk foaming over the tops o f their dresses ” ty years ! W hy, I expect to be walking her mother’s husband, thus mixing up icate disorders, in all their stage», at little e x i« as good as his daughter, and be hang tlu* golden streets o f the New Jerusa — A philosopher once thanked a lady the relation question fearfully. This Agents W anted—810 a Day pense, little or no change in diet no inconven ed to him. Thank you for the hint.” ience and no exposure. It is pleasant in taste lem b y that time, talking with Noah, who ha»f been singing to a party for an marriage proved an unhappy ouc also, and odor, immediate in its action and free from As 6oon as banker No. '1 had disap Two $10 Slaps for $4. Moses and Aaron about the flood, the hour, hy saying. “ Madam, you have and taking her mother’s advice she got all injurious properties* peared, the young clerk was called in. Pharaohs, the journey through the wasted our time charmingly.” rid o f her incumbrance by procuring a “ So. sir, you are iu love, and pining LLOTO’ S P A T E N T R e d Sea and the Wilderness. We shall “ Marriage,” said an unfortunate hus divorce. On the same day on winch away for the object y*mr afft-r-fioo« , hoJJinj, conventions bv that time on band. “ is the churchyard o f love.” lu*r mother was married the seventh Revolving Double ITIaps ! that 8 the secret, is it ? \\ hy did you I the banks of the Jordan with Eve, “ Aud you men,” replied his wife, “ are time, she was married to her second not tell n e before.*' Sarah. Rebecca, Huldah, Dcbora, Mir- husband, and in two months after the T w o C o n tin e n ts, A m e rica an d E u ro p e , the grave diggers.” The youth was silent. and A m e r ic a wi t h th e U nited States I iarn, Ruth, Naomi, Sheba and Phebe, court interfered at her request, and left p ortion ou an im m ense s ca le . “ Well, my boy. I pity you ; but I — Beautiful extract— A beautiful Tryphrcna and Typbosa, and all the her a grass widow at the interesting Colored—in 4000 Counties. give you a word of advice. I f the strong minded women, honorably men young lady just helped out o f a mud age o f sweet seventeen. nELMBOLD’S FLUID EXTRACT BUCHU daughter is fair, she is worth running a tioned in sacred history. Do you know hole. h ese g r e a t m a p s , now ju s t com - risk for.% Look here: there are two Is a certain cure for diseases o f tha “ Mv dear,” inquired a young wife of that I have vowed never to go disfran pleted, IU j 62 inches Urge, show eve B eecher on “ M ean M en .” —-In place o f importance, nil Railroad* to date, and hundred pounds, and two months’ leave BLADDER, KIDNEYS, GRAVBL, D ROPSY, chised into the Kingdom o f Heaven ? her husband, on his return from busi his sermon entitled “ The value o f deep the latest alterations in tho various European o f ahpence. Run away with the girl ! In the meantime, I propose to di-cuss ness, “ have you seen the beautiful set ORGANIC WEAKNES8, FEMALE feeliug,” Mr. Beecher makes the fol States. These maps are needed in every Schoo l Bah! don’ t look so stupid. I did the sanitary and sumptuary laws, finance o f walnut furniture which the Smiths and family iu tho land—they occupy the space COMPLAINTS, GEN ERAL low inir characteristic and good h i t : same before vou. and it didn’ t hurt me. o f one Map, and by means of tho Reverser and free and railroads, have bought?” “ No, my love, but I m i. i • e i . , «»•"» in o trade, n u u c. religion in i" io u uuu I have great hope for a wicked man ; either side can be thrown front, and any part D E B ILITY . J » pe clerk tell upon his marrow-bones j »• aud . elections « ., have seen the bill, and that s|ti-fie> ! p i - education in the councils slender hope for a meun one. A wick brought level to tho eye. County Rights anc And all the diseases o f the ana was upon the eve of niakiu'r a r • ««• m . ♦ v ~ of American republic. Twenty years! UlC. ed man may be converted, and become large discount given to good Agents. clean breast of it, when the old man Apply for circulars, Terms, and send money U RIN ARY ORGANS, W hy, every white male in the nation — A young gentleman, after having a prominent saint. A mean man ought arose and loft precipitately, to avoid a for and see Sample Maps ffrst,if not sold taken will be tied to an apron string by that paid his addres.-es to a lady for some Whether existing in J. T. LLOYD, acene to be converted six <»r seveu times, one bock on demand. ; time, while all the poets and philoso time “ popped the question.” The lady, 3 23 Cortlaudt Street, N. Y. MALE OR FEMALB, night after the other, to give him a fair The young man considered, and act phers will be writing essays on ‘The in a frightened manner, said “ You scare start and put him ou an equality with From whatever cause originating, and no ed, and the consequence was that tin* Sphere o f Man ’ ’’ A (¡ood Book for Agents! me. sir.” The gentleman did uot. wish matter of a bold wicked man. O f a certain class next day week there was no young ladv HOW LONG 8TANDINO. to frighten the lady and consequently o f converts he says: l have known at the dinner table o f the banker at Diseases of these organs require the use oT a RESOURCES A typographical mistukeof a “ c ” for remained quiet for some time, when she men who thought the object o f conver the ooontry seat. The home was in diuretic. I f no treatment is submitted to, OP THE exclaimed, “ Scare me again.” an “ h” made a papor say : “ A ” locomo sion was to clean them us a garment is consternation, and a search was made sumption or insanity may ease»- ^or tive ran over a cow and cut ber into and blood are supported from these sou , « L O P E in every direction. — W hy are young ladies like arrows ? cleaned, and then when they were con P A C I F I C calves.” aud the A note, however, was found on her Because they never go off without a verted they were to be hung up in the HEALTH AND HAPPINESS, bow (beau), and they are always in a Lord’s wardrobe, the door of which A Statistical and Descriptive Summary of the dressing table, conveying the customary Mines and Minerals, Climate, Topography, Ag and that of Posterity, depend ufon prompt os* A widower went to Manchester, N quiver till they get one. was to be shut, so that no dust could rieulture. Manufactures and Commerce o f the praver o f forgiveness, and »me enclosed oi a reliable remedy. II., one day recently, buried his w ife; get at them. A coat that is not used, Pacific States and Territories, including LOW from tbe young clerk, stating that, he — When a young lady offers to hem HBLMBOLD’9 EXTRACT BUCHÜ» lieving the banker had meant to give a and left t»»wn with a new-made bride a cambric hankerchief for a rich bach the moths e a t ; and a Christian who is ER CALIFORN IA, MEXICO, BRITISH COLUMBIA aud ALASKA, Established upwards of 18 7 hint in regard to his daughter, and was on the day following. T, HELMBOLD, elor, she means to sew in order that she hfing up so that he will not be tempted, Dmggitt, the moths eat him ; aud they have poor unable to give his public consent owing By HON. J. ROSS BROW NE, A Texas paper says that though may reap. food at that. to appearances, he had acted on the sug “ courting can still go on. getting m ar- Complete in One Large Octavo Volume of 874 — Bonaparte is credited with having No! 104 £ S h 'X i t h E , Philadelphia, Penn. grstion, and ere his “ father-in- law” had ri»*d is played out.” there being no one pages; Price, $4 00. said: “ A handsome woman pleases A n editor in Alabama had some iron received the letter he would be his son- authorized to perform the ceremony. the eye, but a good woman pleases the ore dog from his land last week made This is the Cheapest Work ever offered in in-lavy. heart. The one is a jewel— the other into iron, the iron into plows, and the this market to Subscription Agents, and it is The -pill ama-hutw, am) the joke n compact with useful Information, invaluable to Tlrsisp.ss M pn . worn by care and sedentary a treasure.” plows running before the close o f the MERCHANTS, FARMERS, MECHANICS, terrible o»e (gainst bin ; but the haul habit*, often puffer Ffom constipation o f tbc — A Western editor, in commenting week. etc , and is o f deep interest to ALL CLASSES. er was a'goofl natur^d’ .man, and \atcd •-owe!**, until the evil consequences of such a condition «re realized In extreme debility, ner- upon the large amount which Queen Published by ridiq^^prrjjctflqk the Hblfby the bor** Dn»ncM and prostration gf the vital energies Prayer o f the office-seeker— Grant at lnaf.’awd opnnly declared that hew is f the svsfcrn ; upd it may be safely asserted Victoria saves annually from her salary D, H. Bancroft & Co., Price, II 25 ,p«r bottle, or sUUottUe f e r # 5 » , aw:ii*<a%tlfe'*t1tiiV Who’ h ii clerk was that a majority o f the f.male sex are little bet remarked, “ Thar’s p widow worth going us something nice and fat, with m axi 1 SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. delivered to any address- mum pay an minimum work. ter than invalids, from the same cause ; but by for.” going t^rwairM with. AH ARTLESS LOVER. S T E P IN! H C. B . S T I L E S ’ F HEADQUARTERS! I E Willamette Iron Works Company IRON FOUNDERS, T H j T 8l ■for Dhw T im e s , 88 a year. .“ imply using Dr. Walker’s V kortablb Vw n- '• aii HiTTPiiS, this natural aperient and tonic brings back the vigor aud bu»»yancy of health. SOLD BX DRUGGIST* — A care for the ^Grecian Bend has To remove stain, from tho charecter. J | ATS, A^s’e^ GENTLEMEN’S JTILS s,f AND AN LADIES’ K lf been discovered by a farmer in Monroe —got non. ^ - “ J. H. LEWIS’S. t* - ‘ WMh /