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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (April 22, 1909)
BANDON RECORDER I« m <4 tack Waek BANDON.......... OREGON Mark Twain has outlived all his con- temporary humorist*; they may have *ri*d harder to be funny. Chickens are to be hatched by elec tricity; aud can’t they be given a shock in relation to the egg industry? A milkman lias invented an airship. It ought to be flue for delivering milk to the third and fourth story flats. In accord with the eternal fitness of things, people who keep harping on dis agreeable things should be strung up. Ella Wheeler Wilcox asks: “Are the rich as happy as the poor?” Well, the poor man seems to enjoy owning a dog more. Kaiser Wilhelm has offered two of his castles for sale. Why pay rent when you can buy a castle on easy terms? It is not much of a compliment to •Mr. Rockefeller to call him a captain of Industry. lie Is at least a major- general. Petrified remains of whales have been found on hill tops in California. When whales were younger they may have been good climbers. “No one with brains,’’ says Dr. Clara Scott, “will kiss In the future.” There is no way of Judging the future, doc tor, except by the past. Mrs. Charlotte Gilman Perkins, dear old girl, says American wives are mere slaves. We should like to meet Mr. Charlotte Gilman Perkins. A New York doctor .’19 years of age is suing a wealthy widow aged 70 for |150,000 for breach of promise. IIow he must hate to doctor people for a Uvlng! A St. Louis man has been fined $10 for stealing a kiss from a pretty girl. She prosecuted him for petty larceny, or the fine might possibly have been larger. That prisoner who picked up a board and walked to freedom as a carpenter may be made to answer to a charge of larceny if caught. Boards are ex pensive now. If housework is to be designated as “involuntary slavery” in divorce peti tions of the future, will the henpecked man be able to secure release upon a writ of habeas corpus? A London paper recently published an article under headlines which read: "Six Unbrlbable Councillors. Astound ing Story From America.” Being de terminedly optimistic, we have been glad to believe there were more than six. A Toledo woman wants a divorce be cause her busband won’t kiss her. We reserve Judgment until we see the lady. Jack Johnson, prize fighter, is getting $1,750 a week for touring Australia. The moral of this is that it pays to be a winner. The Earl of Crewe, the Liberal lend er in the British House of Lord*, an nounced the other day that the gov ernment contemplates such a revision of the coronation oath as will elimi nate from, it the objurgations offen sive to the Roman Catholics, The Conservative leader welcomed the change as a desirable reform. When the two parties are agreed, it should not be difficult for the government to carry out its purposes. The on* real, all-sufficient, universal •ver-on-the-job gravy in this world, however, is plain, old-fashioned, time- honored and anciently approved ham gravy! Just as it Is, without one plea —it knocks the spots off any turkey gravy with “yolks of eggs, giblets,” mushrooms, truffles, or whatnot ever concocted anywhere, or conceived In the minds of mortals! You can't beat it I It is known from the humblest hovel to the lordliest palace, and ev erybody truthfully Inclined will agre* without comment. * into bread. Converting raw material into a mnpofaetured product 1* usually more expensive thau the raw material itself. 7*e cash value of the wife’s contribution to the bread might have been more than the value contributed by the husband to provide the flour. Would she, then, not be as self-support ing as her husband? All this baflier- 4/tsh about the necessity of economic independence for women Is a pretty poor tribute to the intellectual abili ty of the female reformers who are responsible for so much trouble and unhappiness. Is the woman who draws a »ilary from the mere man who em ploys her in his office more independ ent than the wife who la comfortably cared for by her husband? Or can the wage-earner of either sex be consld ered as economically independent? There is no sex to brain power of It self. And in this free country there Is no nn>re obstacle to a woman at taining economic independence than there Is to the man. Stop arguing. Rfsters. There Is no room for argti inent. Time flics and opi>ortunlty fleets. If economic independence is your sole object, roll up your sleeves and dig in If Admiral Rojestvensky did not lit erally die of a broken heart, his last years were embittered and his death probably hastened by tlie obloquy fas tened upon hint in Ids own country, while in every other nation he was honored as a brave but unfortunate man. To have taken the Russian fleet from Libau more than half way around the world, and to have marshaled it In fighting condition against the Jap anese at Tsushima, would have been a great feat even if the ships had been in perfect condition at the start. Admiral Evans was Justly praised for his success in taking our splendidly appointed fleet to San Francisco, a shorter trip, in time of peace, with huzza hlng friends In every ¡>ort. The Russian fleet, far from being in con dition for service, was a monument to official greed, neglect and incompetency; Its personnel was divided by racial hatreds, bitter at wrongs of misgov ernment, honeycombed with sedition, hopeless of the outcome, and so ill- trained and mob-like that the men trained their guns on harmless British fishermen before they had fairly start ed and nearly Involved in a second war the country which half of them were ready to forswear. They were scarce ly more prepared for battle than the Chinese had been ten years earlier. Yet because lie raised the white flag when he was hojielessly beaten and he lay wounded and insensible, Rojestvensky was court-martialed by his grateful country and made a scapegoat for a misgovernment of, by. and for the grand dukes. Rojestvensky'* task was more hopeless than Cervera’s, yet Cer- vera, after a natural burst of resent ment, retained the resiiect of bis own country as well as of ours. Spain seems to be a better country to serve than Russia. RAM'S HORN BLASTS, Í Warning «*• I I *1 -1 wz h* * ' E ditoria MURDER THE SAFEST CRIME. MOVEMENT is on foot to ubolisb capl tai punishment in Illinois, and its advo- cates insist that fear of the deuth penalty is no deterrent to crime. For years tlie Presidents of France have commuted every death warrant to life Imprisonment. As a result murder has grown so common that the recent guillotining of the four l’ollet murderers and tlie slayer of Mr. aud Mrs. Donal in public was witnessed by vast crowds, which applauded the executions. That abolition of the death penalty removes a check on would-be slayers is nowhere more evident than in the United Slates, where maudlin sentiment has made mur der the one crime for which a man is least likely to be convicted, even when he commits It. France and Germany have only 12 per cent as many murders as the United States. Germany convicts nine out of ton accused, France two out of three, England more than 50 per cent, and Italy, with the highest mur der record in Europe, convicted last year 2,805 out of 8,G00. The United States executes barely 1 per cent of its slayers, and not 10 per cent are even imprisoned. The unwritten law and other causes have apparently made murder one of our protected industries; although there seems no equivocation or opening for misconstruction in tlie simple words of the commandment, "Thou sbalt not kill.” This hardly seems a time for Illinois to remove any penalty that may Influence the would-be murderer to Withhold bis hand.—Chicago Journal. CUBA’S PLAIN DESTIN, Y grace of the United States and in vain pursuit of a policy that tights against the stars in their courses, Cuba again becomes a "self-governing republic” in form. Of course Cuba never has been and never will be “independent” in fact. The indis pensable basis of political Independence Is an economic independence. Cuba's economic prosperity now depends on the grace of the United States, By no conceivable industrial reorganization can this situation be changed. Furthermore, all the tendencies of mankind are against the continuance of small nations, As mechanical invention makes the eartli smaller, so men gather for safety In larger groups. The struggles to preserve tiny nationalities, by means of linguistic and literary revivals, are interesting but futile. Tlie product is, after all, but a parlor piece. \\ hen such efforts have apparent success the price is heavy. For instance, the price of the sep V « I • » arate existence of the three Scandinavian groups is the postponiment, perhaps forever, of a Scandinavian empire able to ¡flay a large part in world affairs. With a sentimentality that has no place in interna tional affairs, the United States undertook to renounce tlx- prize of a war which Spanish folly bad made inevi table. For this ¡tolltleal blunder no heavy price has yet been exacted. Possibly the Providence which has so visibly protected this nation against its own follies will forgive the debt. Yet it is as certain as the rising of the sun that Cuba will ultimately become American ter ritory In form as well as in fact. Whether by some slow process of absorption or by the red hand of war this end will come, and many now living will see it come.—Chi cago Inter Ocean. FARM HINDRANCES. NE would naturaly imagine with a $7,770.- 000,000 agricultural crop in 1908 that farming is the most profitable industry in the country. The aggregate value of farm products is overwhelming, and yet it shrinks to moderate proportions when ap portioned per capita among tlie agricul tural population. Equally distributed among the rural Inhabitants, each would receive $259—not an amount that would represent colossal Individual wealth. This distribution does not represent net profit, but aggregate gross production of wealth on the farm per capita. Is it not time that the general government should take more cognizance of the agricultural Industry and dlscoier the cause why sc, many farmers are dissatisfied with their profession? Farming is conceded to be the most Important industry in the nation and the founda tion of the prosperity of manufacture and other enter prises. An industry of such paramount importance should attract the best men in the country to its ex ploitation, and yet the profits of many farms are too small for remunerative operation. It is safe to predict that agriculture will never at tain its inalienable position of the most profitable as well as the most paramount of the professions until the government changes its policy in the disposition of pub lic lands. Of what avail is it to the farmer to improv* ills holdings wiien the government stands ready to give the immigrant IGO acres of iirst-class land if he will only agree to make his residence on it? The New England farmers are unable to sell their estates when the gov ernment offers to donate u better farm If tlie homeseeker will agree to live on and Improve it. Not until the fer tile free lands of the government are exhausted by dis tribution io competitors will the present condition of farmers be materially improved.—Goodall's Farmer. ÍO1 AFRICAN MARRIAGE CUSTOMS. A Woman Never, Under Any C’ircum- Mance», Marries Beneath Her. Some Wonderful Answer* by School- ruom Small Hoy», The superstition about luck in horse shoes dates back too far for record, but it was not always confined to the horse shoe. Any piece of iron found in qpe's path was accounted a sign of good luck, and as horseshoe* were more commonly picked up than any other article of that metal that particular object at last l»ecame the standard emblem of good fortune and the supposed defense against bad luck. In Aubrey’s "Miscel lanies,” written 200 years ago, the au thor mentions having seen the horse shoe nailed up In church, and he also says that “most of the houses in the west end of Ixmdon have the horseshoe on the threshold." The horsi-shoe to ¡•ossess virtue must have been found, not purchased or looked up. Admiral Nelson had great faith in the luck of In thirty States of the Union a th* horseshoe, and one was nailed to mother has no ownership In her owe the mast of his ship, the Victory.— children, and the husband cun collect London Chronicle. every dollar of their earnings. Is the They Ml** Somethin*. wile who brings up a family of chil dren, under such conditions ns these Patience—I see lovemaking on ¡»ost- not a sclf s:ipp>rting member of the al cards I* in violation of the postal community? Who supports the family, regulations of Russia. Patrice — The country postmaster anyway? In the days of our grand fathers tlie husband paid for a barrel must have a dull time of It over of Hour and tlie wife made that flour there!—Yonkers Statesman. * Opinions of Great Papers on Important Subjects. T ERRATIC SCIENCE. “Mushrooms always grow in damp ¡•Inces, and so they look like umbrel- 1ns,” wrote a small boy in the science examination. Other examples of the “howler" ure compiled by a writer in the Scientific American: "Air is tlie most necessary of all the elements. If there were no such thing as air I would not be writing this es say now, also there would be no pneu matic tires, which would be a sad loss. “Electricity and lightning are of the same nature, the only difference being that lightning is often several miles in length, while electricity Is only a few inches. “Air usually has no weight, but found to weigh about fifteen pounds to a square inch. “The axis of the earth ia an imagi nary line on which the earth is sup posed to take its daily routine. “The difference between air and water is that air can be made wette-, but water cannot "Gravity is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling from the trees. ’Things which are equal to each oth er are equal to anything else. "A parallel straight line is on* which if produced to meet itself does not meet. ’The blood is putrefied in the lungs by in^ilred air.” o *x> o Luck In Moracho««. In the lnterestof safeguarding coast wise shipping, the Department of Com merce and Labor has mnde new rules which affect barge traffic. They ap ply mostly to the Atlantic const, and especially to the coal-carrying trade, since that is the principal Industry in which barges are employed. The new rules limit the number of barges which one tug may tow to three, and re quire that the length of the hawser between each two shall not be more than seventy-five feet. Tlie new rules apply only to the three-mile limit within which the de|iartment has Ju risdiction, but that Includes the belt of largest traffic. The long lines of barges have always been regarded ns * danger to other shipping. GU •< o e Untidy I’lcUire-lInnaer. very bandy little picture hanger >n devised by a resident of The device is of wire and the body has a loop at the top by which it can be hung on a nail, The legs flare o u t w a r d and lmve supporting hooks for feot and the single arm, bent at right angles at the el- bow, lias a hook at the top. The picture frame rests on the feet and is kept in place by the arm, which can be moved up and down the body, so that it can be adjusted to al most any size picture. The whole af fair can be made to sell for a very little money and it takes but a mo- ment to hang a picture by It. The trouble of measuring wire and gauging it so that the picture hangs flat Is obviated, as the body rests flat against the wall for its whole length nnd keep* the picture at a proper angle. Hood for Telephoning. The bulky telephone booth Is no longer needed to carry on a satlsfac- tor.v conversation over the telephone. A New York man has invent ed a hood which answers the same purpose and takes up no extra room. The hood can be made of wood or metal and Is bowl-shaped. It is pivoted to an upright which Is attached to the back of an ordinary heavy office chair, and when not in use the apparatus enn lie pushed up out of the way at d the chair used for Its regular puriioses. To use the telephone the caller alts in the chair and draws the hood down Over Ills head. It la open at the bot tom. of course, but the other sounds In the room are reduced to a minimum.. In front of the hood is the trans mitter. and the receiver Is nttnehed to the headgear, which relieve* the ¡M-rson using the Instrument of the necessity of holding the re<elver to his cr. For ¡•crams who have a great •!(:il of continuous telephoning to do, tills apparatus Is a blessing undis- ¡pii* d. Not* Catlin* th* Wl*k*4 to Repentance. It Is not th* laws we pass but the laws we en force that show whether we mean what we say. The devil gets much of his best exercise in finding work for idle hands to do. The only things we can really own are those we are thankful for. As men get uearer to God they find it easier to get along together. God can make things plait} to some folks that He can't even hint at to others. The man who doesn't believe in a hell has never seen a drunkard’s home. There is a big place In this world for the man who does not despise tbs day of small things. To get where sin can’t shock you is to come very close to the rise* where God can't reach you. Some people are so afraid of doing something sacrilegious that they don’t do anything that is religious. It is hard for the Lord to do much in the meeting where the clock Is watched closer than the preacher. The home was the first institution God established in this world, and th* first the devil trleil to break up. Bear in mind that the devil gets a boy by getting his father first, and he may get yours in that very sama way. You can’t sea re people into being good any more thau you can drive the poison out of a rattlesnake by putting a clothespin on Its tail. It Is told of an old-tliue boarding mis tress of Marblehead, a shrewd dame who kept her boarders under admirable control, that once, on Saturday night, a daring man broke the unwritten law of the establishment, ami asked a sec ond time for beans. At once several others, who had not dared, but were ready to follow a leader should he suc ceed, looked up expectantly. The landlady promptly ladled into the plate of the rash innovator a last spoonful, scraped from the deepest in terior of the dish, nnd sweeping the table with a beaming smile, declared triumphantly: “There! I calculated on just enough to a bean!” Second helpings were otherwise dis couraged by a boarding mistress of Old Norley. A young school teacher, late to dinner from a skating party, ate little of the half-cold nnd unappetizing first courses, but ventured a second re quest for hot mince pie. It was served without comment, but a few minutes after dinner the maid tapped at her door. “Missus is afraid all that pie won't set well,” she announced, “and she says, sha'n't she make you some ginger tea?” The kind offer was declined; but a half-hour later the maid apj>eared again. “Missus says she’s Bure you must be needin' ginger tea by now,” she stated. "She'll send some right up the minute yop say so. It's all ready.” Somewhat less graciously, the offer was declIned again; but in a few min utes the maid reniqieared with a tray, and, "Here's your ginger tea. Missus says you itetter be on the safe side, and take it.’ Rather sharply the tray was repu diated. Five minutes later the maid knocktd once more. "Missus says she's got to go out, but she ain’t Just easy In her mind to leave you. She's put your ginger tea on the back of the stove keepin’ hot; and you'll find the extract bottle on th® second shelf of the pantry, if you want any more. She says she hopes you’ll be all right, but that pie was awful rich, and two pieces was enough to upset an ostrich.” They did not disturb the digestion of the healthy and hungry young s -hooi mistress; but she never risked incur ring her landlady's solicitude by mor® second helpings. The ginger tea had cured her of that. While the marriage customs of West and Southwest Africa differ of course in different tribes, they have broad lines in common and are in all cases extremely interesting. A coastal trilie always considers It self superior to an inland tribe and even its meanest member claims to rank higher than the most powerful man of an up country tribe. A man Shower Bath 1« Novel. Among recent inventions is an ex may marry any women he likes of any ceedingly simple shower bath, de tribe, It being held that he gives her signed by a Camden man. It can his own status, whatever that may be, be attached to but it Is almost unheard of for a wom either the head an to tnarry “beneath” her. As a re or foot of the sult some of the women of the most tub. No curtain, superior coast tribes, like the Mpongwe, Is required, nor1 look to marriage with white men and will the spray! frequently attain it. wet the hair or, The parents on both sides rule abso fall outside the! lutely in the matter of marriage be tub. tween natives. First the would-be This shower bath bridegroom goes empty-handed to ob works on a swiv tain the consent of the bride’s father. el, so that the spray can be made to Then he goes again with gifts and the flow in any direction to reach any por father calls In other members of the tion of the body, producing a healthful ¡ family to view the gifts. On the third and Invigorating effect. When it is de visit he carries trade gin, a sufficiently sired to use the shower it is swung poisonous compound, generally from downward and the water turned on. Hamburg. In the old days it was palm The spray can then be regulated as de toddy or wine. sired. On this occasion he pays over an In After use It is swung back into a stallment of the dowry. On the fourth vertical position, where it is out of the visit he takes his parents with him and wny. It Is also convenient for rinsing is permitted to st-e the girl herself. When next he calls his prospective the hair after a shampoo. mother tn-law provides a feast for him Name* for New Invention*. self and his relatives, the host and Every new Invention excites the word hostess eating nothing, but taking a maker*. A few years ago the adoption hand in the drinking. Finally the man of the electric chair In place of the goes with gifts and the balance of the gnllows for the killing of crimináis dowry and takes the woman away. On called forth the ill formed “electrocute” | arrival nt his village she 1* welcomed and “electrocution.” After Roentgen with singing and a strenuous dance made his discovery, dozens of attempts called “nkanja.” were made to construct a word from For three months the bride is not Greek roots to express the process and required to do any bard work, but after The Little Voice of Experleae*. the result; but popular common sense that she buckles to with hl* other One of the small soils of the Prine* discarded them all. and Roentgen's own wives at gardening and carrying bur tentative “X-ray” is all that has a vig dens, Polygamy Is general and the of Wales was taken on Isrnrd a battle ship not long ago. It was his first orous survival. number of a man's wives limited only And now Marconi's device for tele by his resources In the matter of pay visit to a big ship, and he was deep graphing without wires is greatly exer ing dowries. The man may divorce his ly imfiresaed and Interested, according- cising those who would add to an al wife whenever he chooses and for al to the London Dally News, and asked, ready overloaded vocabulary. "Flecgr.i- most any reason. But it is rare for a as many questions as the average boy. phy,” “undigraphy,” "teleradb>graphy,” woman to be able to obtain divorce at Finally he asked what was behind * and other still worse compounds are her own wish. Divorce entails the re certain closed door. "That's where we keep the powder.”’ suggested. The fact Is overlooked that turn of the dowry. "Do you have to take powders, too?* .“telegraphy” do; s not signify the use Not the Place for a ifit. said the little prince, sympathetically. of wlr.s. and is therefore applicable "I wonder why they put the success to the wireless system; so that the Her Lateat Lasary. simple “wireless telegraphy” is exactly ful pugilist's picture at the bottom of the ¡»age in this paper?” “ Young man.” said the heavy father, accurate. • “Why not at the bottom?” "do you understand the style In which "Because it would have more of a my daughter has been accustomed to Pyanile* of Ka*t Africa. i The thick forest along the bank* of delicate compliment to his skill to live? Site has always had every lux the Kemllkl, in eastern Africa. Is have made ft an up¡»cr cut.”—Baltimore ury she wanted.” "And now I’m the densely Inhabited by pygmies. They American. luxury she wants,” murmured the snip are cannibals, and when pressed for or.—London Globe. L'aelc J*rry. food exchange their children for th<>*e "Too often,” said Uncle Jerry Pee There is luck in nn old horseshoe or of other families. They refuse to eat bles, “when that there thing they call members of their own families. opportunity comes along, by Jocks, it's a four-leaf clover—if you don’t meet with a fatal accident or get sick and The women have struck a new only nn opportunity to steal some-1 die. thin ’ !" _________ scheme: they advertise for "hoitsekeep During the month of August, ninety- era” Instead of for “girls.” “House We have noticed that when a fanner keeper” has less of a tin pan sound to travels, he carries less baggage than a nine vessels entered the port of Bue- i» 1 town man. uu* Aires and nut one was Aiuericaih o o ••• «m
