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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 14, 1905)
CHOICE MISCELLANY I Ew S HORT STORIES WASHINGTON LETTER I WOMAN AND FASHION HUMOR OF THE HOUR I.IGHT FASTER THAN SOUND. TROT OR GALLOP? Clever Xeirii Gathering. Then came the conclave for the elec tion of a new pope. It was to be se cret, ami even effort was made to pre vent Its proceedings from becoming public. A brick wall was constructed about the hail to prevent any one hav ing access to it But, to the amaze ment of every one, the Associated rres had a dally report of all that happened. One of the members of the noble guard was an Associated Press man. Knowing the devotion of the av erage Italian for the dove, he took with him into the conclave chamber his pet dove, which was a homing pigeon trained to go to our otlice. But Cardi nal Kampoila could not be deceived, lie ordered the pigeon killed. Other plans, however, were more suc cessful. Laundry lists sent out with the soiled linen of a cardinal and a physician's prescriptions sent to a pharmacy proved to be code messages which were deciphered in our office. We were enabled not only to give a complete and accurate story of the happenings within the conclave cham ber, but we announced the election of the new pope, which occurred about 11 a. m in Koine, so promptly that, owing to the difference in time, it was printed in the morning papers of San Francisco of that day. We were also enabled to send the announcement back to Europe before it was received from Koine di rect, and It was our message that was printed in all the European capitals. The Italian authorities did not inter fere with these messages. Melville E. Stone in July Tenturv. Story by a Famonn ComedlHn. J. L. Toole, the famous comedian, once told this story in his own Inimita ble maimer. "I was in the Pitti gallery at Flor ence." said Toole, "with John Billing ton. "We had been looking at the pic tures all day. I was just going to tell Billington that I had had enough when an Irish volet; expressed the same idea, but more eloquently than I should have done. " 'No, my darllnt, I'll not go in there. I'm thunderin' toired av the whole thing.' "We turned round, and there was the typical Hibernian gentleman talking to his wife. " -No, darlint, I'll sit here till ye come out. Go an see the thing. I'm toired av the whole show!' "lie was very hot, mopped his face with a handkerchief and composed himself quietly on a bench at the en trance to one of the side galleries. " 'Here's a chance I said to Killing- ton. "I had a catalogue in my hand. Up I went to the Irishman and In the best bogus Italian I could invent I pretend- To Tnnnel Mont Illnncf M. Gambler's scheme is to open a yet quicker means of communication, first of all, with Switzerland. This would be provided by tunneling the FaucIIIe pass, an engineering work es timated to cost $2...000,000 and t. take five years. The second and more sen sational part of the scheme is the pro posed continuation of the line from Geneva, via Chanionix. through the Mont Blanc to Aosta. thus connecting with all the Italian system. The mag nitude of such an enterprise as tunnel ing Mont Blanc rather takes one's breath away, but the project is said to have been aiready well thought out and elaborated in detail. It would eer tainly be a gigantic scheme for France, as it would probably divert half the tralhc of the M. Gothard and Sitnpion routes to French railways. Paris Let ter to London Telegraph. Burglar In Pari Catacomb. Part of the catacombs of Paris be yond the Luxembourg have been in vaded by burglars who were on, the lookout not for loot, but for skulN. The thieves, four in number, did not ven ture far Info the subterranean place of the dead, as they were evidently afraid of the labyrinths of the catacombs. They attacked the first pile of bones which they saw after having effected an entrance and carried away several skulls. The four catacombs burglars were arrested and tried. They stated Ktv Kie- court that they wanted the skulls to decorate the rom; of their lodgings. In reality they proposed to sell them to medical students. The four were condemned to fines ami to t-rm of imprisonment. Loudon Telegraph. 01. J An Exploded Boiler' Filch t. "The Antigo boiler explosion. I am told, still holds the record for thing supernatural." said M. Tyndall of that city. "The boiler was in a mill and ex ploded, killing two num. It took an aerial courc for a distance of a third of a mile, passing over a sehoolhou.se In which there were several hundred children and struck a street, tearing the lower story out of one lmue. bounding along past two more hou-e-s and wrecking a third. The shock shook the town and broke hundreds of win dows, some of them nearly a mile dis tant. No one there can figure out how the boiler missed the school." Milwau kee Sentinel. European Power ArmlnKT. The tremendous demands for artil lery which are reported from the great Krupp foundry in Germany cannot come alone from th' actual belliger ents in the far east. The very size of the orders mentioned indicates as much. It is apparent that other powers are arming themselves at renewed pressure, doubtless ordering new equip ments of artillery as a result of les sons learned on the field In Manchuria. Germany would seem on the face of things the power chielly. concerned. Thu the ruinous waste goes on. and "the armed camp of Europe" grows more and more a reality. Springfield Republican (I ml.). Value of Xrw York'n Park. The chief engineer of the board of estimate and apportionment of New York city places the value of the parks in Manhattan at $222,000,0' M). They cover 3.432 acres. In Brooklyn there are 1.001 acres valued at ? 12.S00.OO0. The Bronx has 3.S70 acres, worth $21, 000.00O, while Queens and Richmond have 02S acres, valued at $2,2SO,000. This gives a per capita investment to the residents of $77..rf. Watery Help. A man telephoned to the Coatcs nouse asking the clerk, George Mong. If I). M. Pond was employed there. Mr. Mong turned to W. E. Gardner, the cashier and timekeeper, and repeated the question. Gardner looked In the look to see. "No," he replied, "no Pond here Jut we have Dick Itivers In the kitchen and Charley Waters in the en gine room. Will they do?" Kansas City Times. "I CAX'T SPAKE YOl'K LIXGO." ed to draw his attention to the objects of art which he was neglecting. "'Si. siguor. I said. Troceacinio contralto Carlo dolci. grandioso del SUiii.' " 'My good man,' he replied in a flue brogue. 'I don't understand a word you say. I'm an Irishman and can't spake your lingj.' '"Ah. delta fatissimo.' I said, shrug ging my shoulders. 'Delta forragio con a more.' " 'It's no good.' said the Irishman. 'I'm toired av the entoiie show, and I don't understand a blissed word av it.' "He turned away wearily, and I said: " 'Then, bo jabers. can ye tell mo where I can get a glass av Oirish whisk j? " 'The saints save us:' he exclaimed. "The change of expression in his face, the way he jumped to his feet, the man's delight when he found I was not an Italian at all and. like himself, was weary of" sightseeing, knew no bounds. It was quite a little comedy In its way." Loonc luliieNM Moral. An arctic explorer was praising the late William Zlegler, whose great wealth went in the past to fit out so many expeditions of discovery in the white north. "He was a man of the alertest wit." the explorer said. "I never saw his equal In the hitting off of a person's character with un apposite story. Once. I remember, he was describing a flour manufacturer of loose business morale. "Mr. Ziegler said this manufacturer was like a certain grocer who called his clerk up before him one dav and said: "'That lady who just went out didn't I hear her ask vou for fresh laid eggs;' " 'Yes, sir,' the clerk answered. " 'And yon said we hadn't any?' " 'Yes, sir; that Is correct.' "The grocer, purple with rage, yelled: 'Didn't you see me lay those eggs my self on the counter not ten minutes ago? You are discharged, you menda cious scoundrel, and see that you don't look to me for a reference either!" San Antonio Express. Knew "What RufTnlocs Likud. Secretary Shaw and Senator Tom Carter of Montana were swapping sto ries the other day when the secretary of the treasury told a good one about a man out in an Iowa town who was never known to disagree with a state ment of another, no matter how im probable It might be. "One day a jjroup of fellows deter mined to see if they couldn't get Smith I'll call him Smith." said Secretary Shaw, "to express a dissenting opinion. So when Smith came along one of the boys said: " 'I had a most remarkable experi ence the other day. Smith. As I was coming into town through the hlUu yon der I saw a buffalo up a tree eating grapes, so shot him. Did you never see a buffalo up a tree. Smith?' "'Well, I can't say that I have.' re turned Smith regretfully. " 'What!' persisted the story teller. 'Never saw a buffalo up n tree eating grapes?' " 'Well, no, I never saw a buffalo up a tree, but,' said Smith, brightening up, 'I know they are very fond of grapes.' " -Bsaoklvti Euidft. Special Correspondence. "Before the summer is over in Wash Ington those who are acquainted with Senator Charles Dick of Ohio mav ex pect to see him blossom forth wearin; one of the finest Panama hats, with possibly few exceptions, ever brought to the United States." said Consul Gen era! Dietrich of Guayaquil, Ecuador who is in the national capital on leave "Early in the year." continued Mr Dietrich, "I received a letter frou: Senator Dick requesting me to ordei for him the very finest panama straw that could be made. However, the seu- ator was not explicit In his request failing to give the size, and I also did not care to proceed for that reason as well as because I feared he was not aware what such a hat would cost. Therefore I wrote him, stating that such a hat would cost him at least $lf0 and would require several mouths to construct it. Senator Dick replied not to worry about the cost and gave the dimensions of the desired head gear. I at once placed the order, and when I left Guayaquil the weaving ot the hat was well under way and will probably be completed In season to adorn the .lovelike head of the junior senator from Ohio about the time the hottest weather Is upon us." A Unjr Wenvlnur Fnit. The newest and most fashionable fad among the women of Washington, in which not only "society" is engaged. but "the outs" as well, is the weaving of rugs and carpets exactly like those that our grandmothers used to make, except that they unpoetically but truly characterized theirs as "rag" carpets. Now, however, it Is customary to call the fashionable product "souvenir rugs," or "handmade carpets." The pretty daughters of Senator Wetinore of Khode Island began it early last winter, and all the belles liave con traeted the craze not only the (laugh ters of resident first families, but also those who are only temporarily in the national capital. Indeed the fad seems to rage most virulently among the aris tocratic "old Washington!: ns," who look down from immeasurable heights upon the giddy throng brought here by the exigencies of politics. Duluth to Ilnve the Kern. Representative Kede of Minnesota and Guy A. Eaton, commander of the naval militia at Duluth. were in Wash ington recently to see about the gun boat Fern. The navy department some time ago turned the Fern, which was formerly used by the naval battalion of the District, over to the Duluth naval militia, but would not make any repairs or deliver the vessel. These facts occasioned surprise, as it was thought that the navv would at least send the vessel to Duluth Commander Eaton is here to arrange for the completion of the repairs, which are being made in a shipyard at Nor folk at a cost of about $4,000 and to have the vessel taken to Duluth, which will cost about $1,000. It is not ex pected that the navy department will ask for the return of the vessel and that it will pass permanently into the hands of the Duluth jackies. The Capital Invaded. The Insect pesis that annually prey upon the shade trees of the nationa capital are beginning to make their ap pearance in formidable numbers, and before long the traces of their depre dations will be in evidence all over the city. There is a grain of consolation however. In the fact that of the three kinds of Insects that annually do the greatest amount of damage to the trees of Washington which constitute one of the city's chief claims to beau ty onlv one. the fall webworm, ap pears to have made a good start. The other two. the imported leaf beetle and the white marked tussock moth, are apparently having an off year, although It Is yet a triile early to predict with any degree of certainty that they will not later Join the ranks of the invaders To Spend Summer Abrond. The Ambassador and the Baroness Speck von Sternburg have left for Ger many, to be gone for three months The greater part of his leave the am bassador will spend on his estates in Saxony. He will return to his post In October. The German embassy will be established in Lenox for the sum mer, with Karon von Dem Kussche Haddenhausen, first secretary and counselor, as charge d'affaires. Germany to Build Embany. The German government has pur chased a splendid site for its embassy here opposite the property of the new French embassy overlooking Sheridan circle in S street, in the northwest sec tion of the city. The property, which is shaded by magnificent trees and rises to a great height above the street, measures about 300 by 10.") feet. On this site will be erected a splendid stone structure of the style of Fred erick the Great, reproducing perhaps in general outline the famous Sans Soucl castle or the new castle in Potsdam. Squirrels nt the White Holme. Squirrels ire of comparatively re cent date In the White House grounds. They first began making their homes there four or five years ago. Across I Pennsylvania avenue In Lafayette park the ;piirrels have become so tame that they will get within grasp ing distance. The same Is true of the apitol grounds, where the little ani ls are often fed by visitors and A Comfortahle Garment. - whole chapter could be written about that favorite garment, the tea gown. Essentially feminine it is. and every woman likes to have a few pretty ones in her wardrobe. No other garment, as she knows, can equal it for comfort, coolness and for emer gency wear. Like all other garments, this season's tea gown has taken on a quaint old, fashioned air. The full, loose front. and tight fitting back and the picturesque sleeves to show off dimples and pretty bracelets are quite smart and becoming to all figures. Mime Kverydny Incident That Go i to Prove TIiIm Fact. About a thousand yards from the window where I sit is a factory which blows its whistle every noon. The steam always comeA from the whistle some little time before the sound is heard. Yesterday I counted three sec onds between the time when the first steam was seen and when the sound Of Coarse. "Hello!" exclaimed a low, soft voice through the telephone. "Is this the cold storage warehouse?" "Yes." "This Is Mrs. Jymes. My husband and I are goiug abroad for the summer, and we want to store some of our fur niture" What Do n:s Wo. n:id the Seal and Inject ami Worra t Here i., problem for people with sharp eyes: A we all know, a horse when walking or trotting advances only one leg of each pair at a time, but when galloi-ing lifts both fore feet to gether and then both hind" feet Now, the question is how other animals man- "But, pardon me, madam, you don't aSe matter. The birds, of course. oi me umsuo was Heard. 'J he whistle want to put furniture in cold storage, IlaP ,)0tn wings together, but which ti:a oowx on wkaffj:k. whether they are short or tall. The tea gown is one of those garments which happily lend themselves to small purses, for it may be charmingly de veloped in lawn or cotton crape as well as in the more expensive fabrics. One can always buy daintily striped material from which the borders may be made, or very often the material itself contains the bonier. The model is one that may be easily followed in the home manufacture. The fronts have plaits at the shoulder which sup ply the fullness in front. I he use ot the ribbon girdle is optional, as many prefer the full flowing style for sum mer. Lawn, dimity, cotton crape, silk, lightweight woolen or pongee may be used. Hit thin;; Suit. The warm weather has brought out the bathing suit. One of the prettiest is a black and white shepherd's plaid, with a plaited blouse and upper part oi me si;iri. ine snuare cm necK is finished with folds of pale blue silk utlined with black braid, and a black ami white heavy silk cord fastens the suit at the waist. is heard when the weather is foggv or clear, hot or cold, windy or calm. It is sometimes louder than at other times, but it always takes three sec onds to travel the o.OOO feet from the factory to my house. We often hear also an echo of the whNtle. which conies two seconds later than the first sound. This is the same s mud coming by a roundabout journey .-..ih) feet away. It travels first l.UOU feet lo a hill beyond and then is sent back -l.ouO feet to our house. A few days ago I heard a band of musicians playing upon the street, and, although they were far distant from me. the high tones of the piccolo and the low tones of the bass horn reached me exactly together, showing that high and low tones travel at the same speed. During a thunderstorm I noticed a Hash of lightning and counted ten' .seconds before the sound of the thun der was heard. This showed me that the storm was about 10.000 feet (or about two miles) away. A little later, however, the time between the light ning and the thunder began to grow less, and the noise of the thunder be came louder, which showed that the storm was getting nearer. Finally a dazzling Hash of lightning was fol lowed immediately by a deafening crash of thunder, and at the same time the shingles Hew from a patch of roof on a barn near by. It had been struck by lightning and was soon In flames. St. Nicholas. do you?" birds run and which hop? "We human "Not all of it, sir, of course; only the beings "trot" when we walk and "gal- icebox." Chicago Tribune. lot when we swim that Is. if we are u.ir.g the plain breast stroke. The dog. Out of the Mouth of Da hen. however, "trots" for both. Now, do "Oh. mamma," exclaimed Ethel. "I've Hie amphibious animals the seals, ot- got an awful pain! Won't vou please t;'r- the rest-swim like men or Cive me a big dove of that m.'H.-;iin I ::i:c other four footed creatures? with the sugar in it? nuiek. mamma before the pain goes away!" J-.lmer lou must be a lady killer. am t you, Mr. Sapleigh? Mipleigh hy do you-aw think- so? Winer Sister says she nearly die: a-laughin every time she sees vou. How Could She Doubt f "Oh. mamma." she cried, rushing intc her mother's room and flinging her arms around the parental neck, "lie together, the eentipeds. which are much loves men! lie loves meh!" like them, do exactly the opposite, and "My dear child, I'm so glad! Has he the swimming worms also alternate the T:.en there are the fish. One would i.ither ex. ect that, as they move their tails fr.mi side to side, they would flap alternately with the flus, which are their hands and feet. Who can tell whether they do or uot nnd whether all fish at all times follow one rule? By the way, how does a frog use its "hands?" ' The great anatomist E. Ray Lanke :J: lias pointed out that while the iii:! -ud legs." such ns our common gaily worm, advance two feet of a pair told you? Has he asked vou to be hi. wife?" "No, but he's down in the libran learning to play chess with papa." De troit Free Press. THE CRUEL PIANO. KxecN MnfCKiilce. "Now that you have accepted the po sition as drummer we will start you on the road at once." "Yes, sir." "You will have fifty trunks to look after." "ruty trunks.' Great scoit. no you think I am a summer girl?" Detroit Tribune. stroke of each pair of paddles. I doubt if many people can tell on which sys tem the caterpillar manages Its dozen or s legs or whether the adult Insect walks, trots, paces or gallops on Its six. How does the spider use eight? Altogether this is a large field for ob servation, a field, too, where any one may discover new facts as yet unre corded, and thus add to the store of knowledge. St. Nicholas. CORRECT ATTIRE. caji ?ia A Plaee For Illm. First Floorwalker Poor old BJones has completely lost his hearing. I'm afraid he will lone his job. Second Floorwalker Nonsense. He's to be transferred to the complaint desk. Philadelphia Record. .Vo &eed For Worry. The Husband (on his deathbed) My darling, when I am gone, how will you ever be able to pay the doctor's bills? The Wife Don't worry about that, dear. If the worst comes to the worst, I can marry the doctor, you know. Origin of the Derby. The twelfth Earl of Derby is un known to the reader of the ordinary history book. Lovers of art know him vaguely as the peer who married the pretty and popular actress Eliza Kar- where they have learned to be angry If a visitor does not present them with something thnt Is appetizing. Only last summer a visitor was badly bitten on the neck, ears and face by an angry gray squirrel In the capltol grounds. This visitor had teased the squirrel by pretending to have some food and bad then tried to capture It. When he turned around to walk away the squir rel dashed upon his back and bit him a number of times. CARL SCIIOFIELD. White Serne Popular. White serge is restored to the highest favor, and some of the most attractive suits are made of it. The short coat. elaborately trimmed with braid. Is pre ferred. The Slocvelc Holero. The sleeveless bolero of lace or cm broidery will be worn all summer over the fain y blouse. Tin CapcN and Wrap. ere are more canes in the wran i list this year than in many a season past, a fact due possibly in part to the larger frock and blouse sleeves, and some of the models are quite pictur esque and attractive. Much Color Worn. It looks as though plenty of color would be worn thi summer. Pale diades of pink, blue and violet come in batiste and handkerchief linen. But all white will lead. Ilaad.some Kroek I'or Girl. What a world of beautiful fancies are to be found in frocks 'for the small mademoiselle. She is. indeed, beloved by Mistress Fashion, and the array of girlish models given by that fair donor will be a delight to the fond mother Juvenile SaerllleeN That Are Offered l.'p to the Inntr iiinent. My landlady's little boy. separated from me only by a thin lath partition of a wall. Is playing five finger exer cises in halting rhythm and with in numerable false notes. The instru ment is one in which the fiight of years has left a tone like a discontented nut- meg grater. The little boy. a pale child in a long pinafore and big white ears, hates his chosen instrument ns much as I do. and so we meet on a level of mutual affliction. I loathe hearing him, and he hates his instrument; now. in the name of good common sense, why must he be offered up as a sacrifice. His mother Is a poor woman, and the tinkling cottage piano with plaited faded green front represents the chops and many other wholesome things she lias not eaten, and what she allows the young lady In the third floor back, who takes her board out in piano les sons. Is a serious sacrifice. .Vow. I ask what for? Why is all the world playing an un necessary piano? Marriage has a fatal effect on music. For some occult reason as soon as a girl is marriod the piano the grave of so much money and time retires out of active life and swathed in "art dra peries." burdened by vases, cabinet photographs and Imitation "curios" serves les as a musical instrument than a warning. But no sooner are the next generation's legs long enough to dangle between the keyboard and the pedals than the echoes awaken to the same old false notes that serve no pur pose unless an hour of dally martyr dom over a tear splashed keyboard Is I an excellent preparation for the trials of life. Mrs. John Lane in London Outlook. Three Wlahe. "You have served your country no bly," said the mikado. "Anything you may ask will be granted." "1 have but three requests." an swered the Japanese naval hero. "Don't erect a triumphal arch, don't present me with a house and don't let the girls kiss me." Boston Transcript. Xo Apparent Dimmer. "Miss Esmeralda, may I sk if your parents object to my coming to see you?" "Why, Mr. Kashley, you come so sel dom that I don't think they know any thing about it yet." He came oftener after that. Chicago Tribune. Why Votf He Who Dre.H.sc.1 In Good Tnte Shows That He IlepectM Himxelf. When our country was in the log cabin stage of its growth correct dres3 was not held in high regard, and obvi ously so. The stout hearted pioneers were too busy hewing paths and blaz ing trails lo cultivate life's finer side. Theirs was the rough work of field and camp, of hammer and saw. But times, men and manners have changed. and a new conception of dress has sprung up. loung men especially rec ognize the direct relation of correct dress in business and social prefer ment. The well dressed man carries his introduction with him he is mas ter of himself and of the situation. He commands the respect of others be cause ho shows that he respects him self. It is true that there are some men of wealth and position who slur their clothes and even some who feign to scorn the niceties of dress. The hab its of a careless youth have left their imprint on such men, and it is quite certain that their disdain of dress played no part in their success and detracts measurably from their enjoy ment of ft. for. after all, the ripest fruit of success is the esteem of one's fellows, and who can esteem the slov en.' in talking to a man one s atten tion naturally roves to his clothes, his hair, his teeth and his finger uail3. Dandruff on the shoulder, stains on the waistcoat and unshaven face, un tidy hair, creases in the coat, a soiled collar, a mussed cravat, proclaim in trumpet tones that a man lacks the truest refinement respect of self. Success. Good StuRe Kloctitlon. It was one of Joseph Jefferson's dis tinctions that he was not only an advo cate, but an example, of good stage el ron, whom ine young iawrenee pnim- ueuuuu. nu was, nowever, an excep od so brilliantly. But the earl yearly tion that proved the rule. The first has his revenge when all the world and ( step toward a better state of affairs is his wife flock to- Epsom to see the rce to convince mnnngers and actors that for the Derby stakes, for that race, In , It Is desirable. With the memory of ,t5 institution in 17S0, was named aft- ' many a bad quarter hour of strained r the Jovial young peer who was one : effort to hear what should be appre of the leading patrons of the Georgian bonded with ease, wo respectfully sub turf. Loudon Standard. uiit this word of suggestion. Century. FLATTED BLOUSK FROCK. who creates her daughter's gowns. The little gown shown here is one of the most pleasing models In sailor blouse suits. It is made up of a rich brown linen with tie In crimson silk. The blouse, unlike the usual design, is made up of plaits coming together in front and back to resemble a box plait. The skirt Is also plaited and falls in abundant fullness. For a me dium size this dress requires five yards of thirty-six inch material. It Depend. Do Peyster (they have been convers ing on art topics) Are you fond of ma jolica, Mrs. Parvonue? Mrs. Parvenue (who has made several bad mistakes since her entrance Into society and is on her guard) Well er that depends entirely on how it Is cooked. It Sometime Happens, nis Wife You're home nt last! I thought you'd never come. Mr. Out late And absence instead of making the heart grow fonder has merely af fected the temper. New York Press. A Pathetic Incident. There Is a pitiful story told in the Bookman of Philip Bourke Marston. the blind English writer. One day a particularly gmxl idea came to him, and he sat down to bis typewriter with enthusiasm. He wrote rapidly for hours and had nearly finished the story when a friend came In. "Head that," said Marston proudly, "and tell ine what you think of it." The friend stared at the happy author and then at the blank sheets of paper In his hand before he was able to understand the little tragedy. The ribbon had been taken from the typewriter, and Mar ti ton's toil was for nothing. He never had the heart to write that story again. "Is Jones a well informed man?" "He ought to be. 1 1 is wife belongs to three sewing stnieties and a pro gressive euchre club." The Limit at Wenrlnen. "Tired?" said Mr. I'.usyhusbantl in a failing voice to his friend. "I should say I am. Why. do you know. 1 was so tired this morning that I actually couldn't enjoy my wife's departure for her summer trip at all." New Orleans Times-Democrat. Power of Sulphuric Aeld. An Instance of the great dissolving powers of sulphuric acid is furnished by an accident which occurred In the chemical factories at Mulhouse, Al sace. An operative was blown up Into the air and fell Into a trough filled about three feet deep with sulphuric acid, the temperature of which was found to bo 01 degrees C. ten hours after the accident. The death of the man was only proved by the discovery of ids caoutchouc respirator, muzzle, two porcelain buttons nnd other Insol uble articles. Everything else had chemically combined with the acid. London Engineer. Cloven. From Java, Sumatra, Mauritius. Zan zibar and Ouiaua come the little brown flower buds of the clove tree. When gathered the buds are red and are dried by exposure to the smoke of wood fires ami afterward by the rays of the sun. In a very short time they become of a deep brown color. To se cure a monopoly and thus keep up the price the Dutch in the seventeenth cen tury destroyed all their clove trees ex cept those In the island of Amboyna. The chief value of cloves lies In their essential oil, which forms about one sixth of their whole weight. Knew Her Way. Towne That was a pretty parasol your sister had yesterday. Browne Yes. my wife is going to got one like it. Towne -All. she told you so? Browne No. but I told her not to. Philadelphia Press. Gettlntc Even. "Does your daughter enjoy practic ing on the piano?" "Yes," answered Mr. Cumrox. "The neighbors have made some remarks about her that she didn't like." Wash ington Star. Sure Sljcn. Edyth I think Stella Is beginning to get uneasy about the future. May me Because why? Edyth--She has begun to speak of spinsters as maiden ladies. Detroit Tribune. Uncle Allen. "When a man has become acquaint ed with all his own little meannesses," Bald Uncle Allen Sparks, "he thinks lie's a judge of human nature." Chi cago Tribune. ArtlHclnl Eyes. The first false eye was a metal band which gripped the head and was fitted with a plate to cover the blind eye, covered with leather on which an eye was painted. Then came shells. like halves of nutsholls, of gold, silver or copper, enameled or painted to re semble an eye and Inserted under the eyelid. As an Improvement upon these. artificial eyes were made of porcelain and at last of glass. Remember that what you believe will depend very much upon what you are. Noah Porter. Ennlly Explnlned. "Pa, why do automobiles have num bers?" "So that those who are run over may wad." Life. Xntarnlly. "Yes, she calls her play 'Brains.' " "Is the plot her own?" "Yes, she made It all up out of her jwn head." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Hotter In Slice. From time immemorial in Cambridge, England, the dairymen roll the I fitter so as to form a long stick weighing a pound, which they sell in slices, as if it were sausage. In the market the butter merchants do not need to use either weights or scales. A simple glance is sufficient for these people accustomed to the time honored prac tice. A very neat cut with the knife divides the yard into halves, quarters or eighths very exactly, and It appears that the customer Is never given short measure. Mnklnsr It Enny For Him. The most difficult part of a pastor's duly." said a New York preacher, "Is the pastoral calls. I have always re membered one of the first I ever made. when I was a green youth Just out of a theological seminarj. I had been called to the bedside of a member of my church who was well known for his peculiarities and crankiness. After talking with him a few minutes I said: " 'Shall I offer a short prayer with you?' " 'Short or long. Use your own judg ment.' said he. "More and more embarrassed, I hes itated, and then said, 'What shall I pray for?' " 'Exercise your own discretion as to selection of topics. said he." A Preliminary. The minister's wife engaged a new servant. The girl was very friendly with a constable, and one day she In vited him to co. ne round to see her. When he came It was washing day. She went and fetched him some beer, biscuits and cheese, but just then a voice called out. "Mary, have you got started to wash yet?" "Yes." said Mary. "What are you doing now?" "Oh, I am just filling up the copper." Loudon Telegraph. When Wnirner Fled. Richard Wagner, the composer, was an ardent republican in 1S49. In the archives of Dresden there is a docu ment setting forth a case of high trea son against the musician. He was ac cused of having written to a friend a letter propo-Ing to turn Saxony Into a republic. "But whom shall we make' president?" he asked. "I see nobody competent for the office except our present sovereign, Frederick Augustus II." Frederick Augustus does not seem to have appreciated the humor of the suggestion Unit he should doff the crown and content himself with the dignity of n republican president. For this flash of unconscious fun Wagner had to bolt to Switzerland. The Word "Gent." At one time the word "gent" was a k., fnr cvmoml use. A re- spectable writer in lr.Gi tells of a supper to divers gentlemen of the Gray's inne for the great amitio be tween them nnd the Middle Temple gents." The diarist Evelyn speaks of the "noise and tumult occasioned by three or four wild gents In drink." Soon after Queen Victoria's accession "gents" became vulgar. Thackeray speaks of it in 1S-12 as an "affectionate diminutive at present much In use among commercial persons." Incompatible. "What would you do if you had a hundred thousand dollars?" "I'd own a private yacht." "Then you wouldn't have a hundred thousand dollars."- Washington Star.