CHOICE MISCELLANY I Ew S HORT STORIES
WASHINGTON LETTER I WOMAN AND FASHION
HUMOR OF THE HOUR
I.IGHT FASTER THAN SOUND.
TROT OR GALLOP?
Clever Xeirii Gathering.
Then came the conclave for the elec
tion of a new pope. It was to be se
cret, ami even effort was made to pre
vent Its proceedings from becoming
public. A brick wall was constructed
about the hail to prevent any one hav
ing access to it But, to the amaze
ment of every one, the Associated
rres had a dally report of all that
happened. One of the members of the
noble guard was an Associated Press
man. Knowing the devotion of the av
erage Italian for the dove, he took with
him into the conclave chamber his pet
dove, which was a homing pigeon
trained to go to our otlice. But Cardi
nal Kampoila could not be deceived,
lie ordered the pigeon killed.
Other plans, however, were more suc
cessful. Laundry lists sent out with
the soiled linen of a cardinal and a
physician's prescriptions sent to a
pharmacy proved to be code messages
which were deciphered in our office.
We were enabled not only to give a
complete and accurate story of the
happenings within the conclave cham
ber, but we announced the election of
the new pope, which occurred about 11
a. m in Koine, so promptly that, owing
to the difference in time, it was printed
in the morning papers of San Francisco
of that day. We were also enabled to
send the announcement back to Europe
before it was received from Koine di
rect, and It was our message that was
printed in all the European capitals.
The Italian authorities did not inter
fere with these messages. Melville E.
Stone in July Tenturv.
Story by a Famonn ComedlHn.
J. L. Toole, the famous comedian,
once told this story in his own Inimita
ble maimer.
"I was in the Pitti gallery at Flor
ence." said Toole, "with John Billing
ton. "We had been looking at the pic
tures all day. I was just going to tell
Billington that I had had enough when
an Irish volet; expressed the same idea,
but more eloquently than I should have
done.
" 'No, my darllnt, I'll not go in there.
I'm thunderin' toired av the whole
thing.'
"We turned round, and there was the
typical Hibernian gentleman talking to
his wife.
" -No, darlint, I'll sit here till ye come
out. Go an see the thing. I'm toired
av the whole show!'
"lie was very hot, mopped his face
with a handkerchief and composed
himself quietly on a bench at the en
trance to one of the side galleries.
" 'Here's a chance I said to Killing-
ton.
"I had a catalogue in my hand. Up
I went to the Irishman and In the best
bogus Italian I could invent I pretend-
To Tnnnel Mont Illnncf
M. Gambler's scheme is to open a
yet quicker means of communication,
first of all, with Switzerland. This
would be provided by tunneling the
FaucIIIe pass, an engineering work es
timated to cost $2...000,000 and t. take
five years. The second and more sen
sational part of the scheme is the pro
posed continuation of the line from
Geneva, via Chanionix. through the
Mont Blanc to Aosta. thus connecting
with all the Italian system. The mag
nitude of such an enterprise as tunnel
ing Mont Blanc rather takes one's
breath away, but the project is said
to have been aiready well thought out
and elaborated in detail. It would eer
tainly be a gigantic scheme for France,
as it would probably divert half the
tralhc of the M. Gothard and Sitnpion
routes to French railways. Paris Let
ter to London Telegraph.
Burglar In Pari Catacomb.
Part of the catacombs of Paris be
yond the Luxembourg have been in
vaded by burglars who were on, the
lookout not for loot, but for skulN. The
thieves, four in number, did not ven
ture far Info the subterranean place of
the dead, as they were evidently afraid
of the labyrinths of the catacombs.
They attacked the first pile of bones
which they saw after having effected
an entrance and carried away several
skulls. The four catacombs burglars
were arrested and tried. They stated
Ktv Kie- court that they wanted the
skulls to decorate the rom; of their
lodgings. In reality they proposed to
sell them to medical students. The four
were condemned to fines ami to t-rm
of imprisonment. Loudon Telegraph.
01. J
An Exploded Boiler' Filch t.
"The Antigo boiler explosion. I am
told, still holds the record for thing
supernatural." said M. Tyndall of
that city.
"The boiler was in a mill and ex
ploded, killing two num. It took an
aerial courc for a distance of a third
of a mile, passing over a sehoolhou.se
In which there were several hundred
children and struck a street, tearing
the lower story out of one lmue.
bounding along past two more hou-e-s
and wrecking a third. The shock shook
the town and broke hundreds of win
dows, some of them nearly a mile dis
tant. No one there can figure out how
the boiler missed the school." Milwau
kee Sentinel.
European Power ArmlnKT.
The tremendous demands for artil
lery which are reported from the great
Krupp foundry in Germany cannot
come alone from th' actual belliger
ents in the far east. The very size of
the orders mentioned indicates as
much. It is apparent that other powers
are arming themselves at renewed
pressure, doubtless ordering new equip
ments of artillery as a result of les
sons learned on the field In Manchuria.
Germany would seem on the face of
things the power chielly. concerned.
Thu the ruinous waste goes on. and
"the armed camp of Europe" grows
more and more a reality. Springfield
Republican (I ml.).
Value of Xrw York'n Park.
The chief engineer of the board of
estimate and apportionment of New
York city places the value of the parks
in Manhattan at $222,000,0' M). They
cover 3.432 acres. In Brooklyn there
are 1.001 acres valued at ? 12.S00.OO0.
The Bronx has 3.S70 acres, worth $21,
000.00O, while Queens and Richmond
have 02S acres, valued at $2,2SO,000.
This gives a per capita investment to
the residents of $77..rf.
Watery Help.
A man telephoned to the Coatcs
nouse asking the clerk, George Mong.
If I). M. Pond was employed there.
Mr. Mong turned to W. E. Gardner, the
cashier and timekeeper, and repeated
the question. Gardner looked In the
look to see. "No," he replied, "no Pond
here Jut we have Dick Itivers In the
kitchen and Charley Waters in the en
gine room. Will they do?" Kansas
City Times.
"I CAX'T SPAKE YOl'K LIXGO."
ed to draw his attention to the objects
of art which he was neglecting.
"'Si. siguor. I said. Troceacinio
contralto Carlo dolci. grandioso del
SUiii.'
" 'My good man,' he replied in a
flue brogue. 'I don't understand a
word you say. I'm an Irishman and
can't spake your lingj.'
'"Ah. delta fatissimo.' I said, shrug
ging my shoulders. 'Delta forragio
con a more.'
" 'It's no good.' said the Irishman.
'I'm toired av the entoiie show, and I
don't understand a blissed word av it.'
"He turned away wearily, and I
said:
" 'Then, bo jabers. can ye tell mo
where I can get a glass av Oirish
whisk j?
" 'The saints save us:' he exclaimed.
"The change of expression in his
face, the way he jumped to his feet,
the man's delight when he found I was
not an Italian at all and. like himself,
was weary of" sightseeing, knew no
bounds. It was quite a little comedy
In its way."
Loonc luliieNM Moral.
An arctic explorer was praising the
late William Zlegler, whose great
wealth went in the past to fit out so
many expeditions of discovery in the
white north.
"He was a man of the alertest wit."
the explorer said. "I never saw his
equal In the hitting off of a person's
character with un apposite story. Once.
I remember, he was describing a flour
manufacturer of loose business morale.
"Mr. Ziegler said this manufacturer
was like a certain grocer who called
his clerk up before him one dav and
said:
"'That lady who just went out
didn't I hear her ask vou for fresh laid
eggs;'
" 'Yes, sir,' the clerk answered.
" 'And yon said we hadn't any?'
" 'Yes, sir; that Is correct.'
"The grocer, purple with rage, yelled:
'Didn't you see me lay those eggs my
self on the counter not ten minutes
ago? You are discharged, you menda
cious scoundrel, and see that you don't
look to me for a reference either!"
San Antonio Express.
Knew "What RufTnlocs Likud.
Secretary Shaw and Senator Tom
Carter of Montana were swapping sto
ries the other day when the secretary
of the treasury told a good one about
a man out in an Iowa town who was
never known to disagree with a state
ment of another, no matter how im
probable It might be.
"One day a jjroup of fellows deter
mined to see if they couldn't get Smith
I'll call him Smith." said Secretary
Shaw, "to express a dissenting opinion.
So when Smith came along one of the
boys said:
" 'I had a most remarkable experi
ence the other day. Smith. As I was
coming into town through the hlUu yon
der I saw a buffalo up a tree eating
grapes, so shot him. Did you never see
a buffalo up a tree. Smith?'
"'Well, I can't say that I have.' re
turned Smith regretfully.
" 'What!' persisted the story teller.
'Never saw a buffalo up n tree eating
grapes?'
" 'Well, no, I never saw a buffalo up
a tree, but,' said Smith, brightening up,
'I know they are very fond of grapes.' "
-Bsaoklvti Euidft.
Special Correspondence.
"Before the summer is over in Wash
Ington those who are acquainted with
Senator Charles Dick of Ohio mav ex
pect to see him blossom forth wearin;
one of the finest Panama hats, with
possibly few exceptions, ever brought
to the United States." said Consul Gen
era! Dietrich of Guayaquil, Ecuador
who is in the national capital on leave
"Early in the year." continued Mr
Dietrich, "I received a letter frou:
Senator Dick requesting me to ordei
for him the very finest panama straw
that could be made. However, the seu-
ator was not explicit In his request
failing to give the size, and I also did
not care to proceed for that reason as
well as because I feared he was not
aware what such a hat would cost.
Therefore I wrote him, stating that
such a hat would cost him at least
$lf0 and would require several mouths
to construct it. Senator Dick replied
not to worry about the cost and gave
the dimensions of the desired head
gear. I at once placed the order, and
when I left Guayaquil the weaving ot
the hat was well under way and will
probably be completed In season to
adorn the .lovelike head of the junior
senator from Ohio about the time the
hottest weather Is upon us."
A Unjr Wenvlnur Fnit.
The newest and most fashionable
fad among the women of Washington,
in which not only "society" is engaged.
but "the outs" as well, is the weaving
of rugs and carpets exactly like those
that our grandmothers used to make,
except that they unpoetically but truly
characterized theirs as "rag" carpets.
Now, however, it Is customary to call
the fashionable product "souvenir
rugs," or "handmade carpets." The
pretty daughters of Senator Wetinore
of Khode Island began it early last
winter, and all the belles liave con
traeted the craze not only the (laugh
ters of resident first families, but also
those who are only temporarily in the
national capital. Indeed the fad seems
to rage most virulently among the aris
tocratic "old Washington!: ns," who
look down from immeasurable heights
upon the giddy throng brought here
by the exigencies of politics.
Duluth to Ilnve the Kern.
Representative Kede of Minnesota
and Guy A. Eaton, commander of the
naval militia at Duluth. were in Wash
ington recently to see about the gun
boat Fern. The navy department some
time ago turned the Fern, which was
formerly used by the naval battalion
of the District, over to the Duluth
naval militia, but would not make any
repairs or deliver the vessel. These
facts occasioned surprise, as it was
thought that the navv would at least
send the vessel to Duluth
Commander Eaton is here to arrange
for the completion of the repairs, which
are being made in a shipyard at Nor
folk at a cost of about $4,000 and to
have the vessel taken to Duluth, which
will cost about $1,000. It is not ex
pected that the navy department will
ask for the return of the vessel and
that it will pass permanently into the
hands of the Duluth jackies.
The Capital Invaded.
The Insect pesis that annually prey
upon the shade trees of the nationa
capital are beginning to make their ap
pearance in formidable numbers, and
before long the traces of their depre
dations will be in evidence all over the
city. There is a grain of consolation
however. In the fact that of the three
kinds of Insects that annually do the
greatest amount of damage to the
trees of Washington which constitute
one of the city's chief claims to beau
ty onlv one. the fall webworm, ap
pears to have made a good start. The
other two. the imported leaf beetle and
the white marked tussock moth, are
apparently having an off year, although
It Is yet a triile early to predict with
any degree of certainty that they will
not later Join the ranks of the invaders
To Spend Summer Abrond.
The Ambassador and the Baroness
Speck von Sternburg have left for Ger
many, to be gone for three months
The greater part of his leave the am
bassador will spend on his estates in
Saxony. He will return to his post In
October. The German embassy will
be established in Lenox for the sum
mer, with Karon von Dem Kussche
Haddenhausen, first secretary and
counselor, as charge d'affaires.
Germany to Build Embany.
The German government has pur
chased a splendid site for its embassy
here opposite the property of the new
French embassy overlooking Sheridan
circle in S street, in the northwest sec
tion of the city. The property, which
is shaded by magnificent trees and
rises to a great height above the street,
measures about 300 by 10.") feet. On
this site will be erected a splendid
stone structure of the style of Fred
erick the Great, reproducing perhaps in
general outline the famous Sans Soucl
castle or the new castle in Potsdam.
Squirrels nt the White Holme.
Squirrels ire of comparatively re
cent date In the White House grounds.
They first began making their homes
there four or five years ago. Across
I Pennsylvania avenue In Lafayette
park the ;piirrels have become so
tame that they will get within grasp
ing distance. The same Is true of the
apitol grounds, where the little ani
ls are often fed by visitors and
A Comfortahle Garment.
- whole chapter could be written
about that favorite garment, the tea
gown. Essentially feminine it is. and
every woman likes to have a few
pretty ones in her wardrobe. No other
garment, as she knows, can equal it
for comfort, coolness and for emer
gency wear. Like all other garments,
this season's tea gown has taken on a
quaint old, fashioned air. The full,
loose front. and tight fitting back and
the picturesque sleeves to show off
dimples and pretty bracelets are quite
smart and becoming to all figures.
Mime Kverydny Incident That Go i
to Prove TIiIm Fact.
About a thousand yards from the
window where I sit is a factory which
blows its whistle every noon. The
steam always comeA from the whistle
some little time before the sound is
heard. Yesterday I counted three sec
onds between the time when the first
steam was seen and when the sound
Of Coarse.
"Hello!" exclaimed a low, soft voice
through the telephone. "Is this the cold
storage warehouse?"
"Yes."
"This Is Mrs. Jymes. My husband
and I are goiug abroad for the summer,
and we want to store some of our fur
niture"
What Do n:s Wo. n:id the Seal and
Inject ami Worra t
Here i., problem for people with
sharp eyes: A we all know, a horse
when walking or trotting advances
only one leg of each pair at a time, but
when galloi-ing lifts both fore feet to
gether and then both hind" feet Now,
the question is how other animals man-
"But, pardon me, madam, you don't aSe matter. The birds, of course.
oi me umsuo was Heard. 'J he whistle want to put furniture in cold storage, IlaP ,)0tn wings together, but which
ti:a oowx on wkaffj:k.
whether they are short or tall. The
tea gown is one of those garments
which happily lend themselves to small
purses, for it may be charmingly de
veloped in lawn or cotton crape as
well as in the more expensive fabrics.
One can always buy daintily striped
material from which the borders may
be made, or very often the material
itself contains the bonier. The model
is one that may be easily followed in
the home manufacture. The fronts
have plaits at the shoulder which sup
ply the fullness in front. I he use ot
the ribbon girdle is optional, as many
prefer the full flowing style for sum
mer. Lawn, dimity, cotton crape, silk,
lightweight woolen or pongee may be
used.
Hit thin;; Suit.
The warm weather has brought out
the bathing suit. One of the prettiest
is a black and white shepherd's plaid,
with a plaited blouse and upper part
oi me si;iri. ine snuare cm necK is
finished with folds of pale blue silk
utlined with black braid, and a black
ami white heavy silk cord fastens the
suit at the waist.
is heard when the weather is foggv
or clear, hot or cold, windy or calm.
It is sometimes louder than at other
times, but it always takes three sec
onds to travel the o.OOO feet from the
factory to my house.
We often hear also an echo of the
whNtle. which conies two seconds later
than the first sound. This is the same
s mud coming by a roundabout journey
.-..ih) feet away. It travels first l.UOU
feet lo a hill beyond and then is sent
back -l.ouO feet to our house.
A few days ago I heard a band of
musicians playing upon the street, and,
although they were far distant from
me. the high tones of the piccolo and
the low tones of the bass horn reached
me exactly together, showing that high
and low tones travel at the same speed.
During a thunderstorm I noticed a
Hash of lightning and counted ten'
.seconds before the sound of the thun
der was heard. This showed me that
the storm was about 10.000 feet (or
about two miles) away. A little later,
however, the time between the light
ning and the thunder began to grow
less, and the noise of the thunder be
came louder, which showed that the
storm was getting nearer. Finally a
dazzling Hash of lightning was fol
lowed immediately by a deafening
crash of thunder, and at the same time
the shingles Hew from a patch of roof
on a barn near by. It had been struck
by lightning and was soon In flames.
St. Nicholas.
do you?" birds run and which hop? "We human
"Not all of it, sir, of course; only the beings "trot" when we walk and "gal-
icebox." Chicago Tribune. lot when we swim that Is. if we are
u.ir.g the plain breast stroke. The dog.
Out of the Mouth of Da hen. however, "trots" for both. Now, do
"Oh. mamma," exclaimed Ethel. "I've Hie amphibious animals the seals, ot-
got an awful pain! Won't vou please t;'r- the rest-swim like men or
Cive me a big dove of that m.'H.-;iin I ::i:c other four footed creatures?
with the sugar in it? nuiek. mamma
before the pain goes away!"
J-.lmer lou must be a lady killer.
am t you, Mr. Sapleigh?
Mipleigh hy do you-aw think-
so?
Winer Sister says she nearly die:
a-laughin every time she sees vou.
How Could She Doubt f
"Oh. mamma." she cried, rushing intc
her mother's room and flinging her
arms around the parental neck, "lie together, the eentipeds. which are much
loves men! lie loves meh!" like them, do exactly the opposite, and
"My dear child, I'm so glad! Has he the swimming worms also alternate the
T:.en there are the fish. One would
i.ither ex. ect that, as they move their
tails fr.mi side to side, they would flap
alternately with the flus, which are
their hands and feet. Who can tell
whether they do or uot nnd whether all
fish at all times follow one rule? By
the way, how does a frog use its
"hands?" '
The great anatomist E. Ray Lanke
:J: lias pointed out that while the
iii:! -ud legs." such ns our common
gaily worm, advance two feet of a pair
told you? Has he asked vou to be hi.
wife?"
"No, but he's down in the libran
learning to play chess with papa." De
troit Free Press.
THE CRUEL PIANO.
KxecN MnfCKiilce.
"Now that you have accepted the po
sition as drummer we will start you on
the road at once."
"Yes, sir."
"You will have fifty trunks to look
after."
"ruty trunks.' Great scoit. no you
think I am a summer girl?" Detroit
Tribune.
stroke of each pair of paddles. I doubt
if many people can tell on which sys
tem the caterpillar manages Its dozen
or s legs or whether the adult Insect
walks, trots, paces or gallops on Its six.
How does the spider use eight?
Altogether this is a large field for ob
servation, a field, too, where any one
may discover new facts as yet unre
corded, and thus add to the store of
knowledge. St. Nicholas.
CORRECT ATTIRE.
caji
?ia
A Plaee For Illm.
First Floorwalker Poor old BJones
has completely lost his hearing. I'm
afraid he will lone his job. Second
Floorwalker Nonsense. He's to be
transferred to the complaint desk.
Philadelphia Record.
.Vo &eed For Worry.
The Husband (on his deathbed) My
darling, when I am gone, how will you
ever be able to pay the doctor's bills?
The Wife Don't worry about that,
dear. If the worst comes to the worst,
I can marry the doctor, you know.
Origin of the Derby.
The twelfth Earl of Derby is un
known to the reader of the ordinary
history book. Lovers of art know him
vaguely as the peer who married the
pretty and popular actress Eliza Kar-
where they have learned to be angry
If a visitor does not present them with
something thnt Is appetizing. Only
last summer a visitor was badly bitten
on the neck, ears and face by an angry
gray squirrel In the capltol grounds.
This visitor had teased the squirrel by
pretending to have some food and bad
then tried to capture It. When he
turned around to walk away the squir
rel dashed upon his back and bit him
a number of times.
CARL SCIIOFIELD.
White Serne Popular.
White serge is restored to the highest
favor, and some of the most attractive
suits are made of it. The short coat.
elaborately trimmed with braid. Is pre
ferred.
The Slocvelc Holero.
The sleeveless bolero of lace or cm
broidery will be worn all summer over
the fain y blouse.
Tin
CapcN and Wrap.
ere are more canes in the wran
i
list this year than in many a season
past, a fact due possibly in part to the
larger frock and blouse sleeves, and
some of the models are quite pictur
esque and attractive.
Much Color Worn.
It looks as though plenty of color
would be worn thi summer. Pale
diades of pink, blue and violet come in
batiste and handkerchief linen. But all
white will lead.
Ilaad.some Kroek I'or Girl.
What a world of beautiful fancies
are to be found in frocks 'for the small
mademoiselle. She is. indeed, beloved
by Mistress Fashion, and the array of
girlish models given by that fair donor
will be a delight to the fond mother
Juvenile SaerllleeN That Are Offered
l.'p to the Inntr iiinent.
My landlady's little boy. separated
from me only by a thin lath partition
of a wall. Is playing five finger exer
cises in halting rhythm and with in
numerable false notes. The instru
ment is one in which the fiight of years
has left a tone like a discontented nut-
meg grater.
The little boy. a pale child in a long
pinafore and big white ears, hates his
chosen instrument ns much as I do.
and so we meet on a level of mutual
affliction. I loathe hearing him, and he
hates his instrument; now. in the name
of good common sense, why must he be
offered up as a sacrifice.
His mother Is a poor woman, and the
tinkling cottage piano with plaited
faded green front represents the chops
and many other wholesome things she
lias not eaten, and what she allows
the young lady In the third floor back,
who takes her board out in piano les
sons. Is a serious sacrifice. .Vow. I ask
what for?
Why is all the world playing an un
necessary piano?
Marriage has a fatal effect on music.
For some occult reason as soon as a
girl is marriod the piano the grave of
so much money and time retires out
of active life and swathed in "art dra
peries." burdened by vases, cabinet
photographs and Imitation "curios"
serves les as a musical instrument
than a warning. But no sooner are the
next generation's legs long enough to
dangle between the keyboard and the
pedals than the echoes awaken to the
same old false notes that serve no pur
pose unless an hour of dally martyr
dom over a tear splashed keyboard Is I
an excellent preparation for the trials
of life. Mrs. John Lane in London
Outlook.
Three Wlahe.
"You have served your country no
bly," said the mikado. "Anything you
may ask will be granted."
"1 have but three requests." an
swered the Japanese naval hero.
"Don't erect a triumphal arch, don't
present me with a house and don't let
the girls kiss me." Boston Transcript.
Xo Apparent Dimmer.
"Miss Esmeralda, may I sk if your
parents object to my coming to see
you?"
"Why, Mr. Kashley, you come so sel
dom that I don't think they know any
thing about it yet."
He came oftener after that. Chicago
Tribune.
Why Votf
He Who Dre.H.sc.1 In Good Tnte Shows
That He IlepectM Himxelf.
When our country was in the log
cabin stage of its growth correct dres3
was not held in high regard, and obvi
ously so. The stout hearted pioneers
were too busy hewing paths and blaz
ing trails lo cultivate life's finer side.
Theirs was the rough work of field
and camp, of hammer and saw. But
times, men and manners have changed.
and a new conception of dress has
sprung up. loung men especially rec
ognize the direct relation of correct
dress in business and social prefer
ment. The well dressed man carries
his introduction with him he is mas
ter of himself and of the situation. He
commands the respect of others be
cause ho shows that he respects him
self.
It is true that there are some men
of wealth and position who slur their
clothes and even some who feign to
scorn the niceties of dress. The hab
its of a careless youth have left their
imprint on such men, and it is quite
certain that their disdain of dress
played no part in their success and
detracts measurably from their enjoy
ment of ft. for. after all, the ripest
fruit of success is the esteem of one's
fellows, and who can esteem the slov
en.' in talking to a man one s atten
tion naturally roves to his clothes, his
hair, his teeth and his finger uail3.
Dandruff on the shoulder, stains on
the waistcoat and unshaven face, un
tidy hair, creases in the coat, a soiled
collar, a mussed cravat, proclaim in
trumpet tones that a man lacks the
truest refinement respect of self.
Success.
Good StuRe Kloctitlon.
It was one of Joseph Jefferson's dis
tinctions that he was not only an advo
cate, but an example, of good stage el
ron, whom ine young iawrenee pnim- ueuuuu. nu was, nowever, an excep
od so brilliantly. But the earl yearly tion that proved the rule. The first
has his revenge when all the world and ( step toward a better state of affairs is
his wife flock to- Epsom to see the rce to convince mnnngers and actors that
for the Derby stakes, for that race, In , It Is desirable. With the memory of
,t5 institution in 17S0, was named aft- ' many a bad quarter hour of strained
r the Jovial young peer who was one : effort to hear what should be appre
of the leading patrons of the Georgian bonded with ease, wo respectfully sub
turf. Loudon Standard. uiit this word of suggestion. Century.
FLATTED BLOUSK FROCK.
who creates her daughter's gowns. The
little gown shown here is one of the
most pleasing models In sailor blouse
suits. It is made up of a rich brown
linen with tie In crimson silk. The
blouse, unlike the usual design, is
made up of plaits coming together in
front and back to resemble a box
plait. The skirt Is also plaited and
falls in abundant fullness. For a me
dium size this dress requires five yards
of thirty-six inch material.
It Depend.
Do Peyster (they have been convers
ing on art topics) Are you fond of ma
jolica, Mrs. Parvonue? Mrs. Parvenue
(who has made several bad mistakes
since her entrance Into society and is
on her guard) Well er that depends
entirely on how it Is cooked.
It Sometime Happens,
nis Wife You're home nt last! I
thought you'd never come. Mr. Out
late And absence instead of making
the heart grow fonder has merely af
fected the temper. New York Press.
A Pathetic Incident.
There Is a pitiful story told in the
Bookman of Philip Bourke Marston.
the blind English writer. One day a
particularly gmxl idea came to him,
and he sat down to bis typewriter with
enthusiasm. He wrote rapidly for
hours and had nearly finished the story
when a friend came In. "Head that,"
said Marston proudly, "and tell ine
what you think of it." The friend
stared at the happy author and then
at the blank sheets of paper In his
hand before he was able to understand
the little tragedy. The ribbon had been
taken from the typewriter, and Mar
ti ton's toil was for nothing. He never
had the heart to write that story again.
"Is Jones a well informed man?"
"He ought to be. 1 1 is wife belongs
to three sewing stnieties and a pro
gressive euchre club."
The Limit at Wenrlnen.
"Tired?" said Mr. I'.usyhusbantl in a
failing voice to his friend. "I should
say I am. Why. do you know. 1 was
so tired this morning that I actually
couldn't enjoy my wife's departure for
her summer trip at all." New Orleans
Times-Democrat.
Power of Sulphuric Aeld.
An Instance of the great dissolving
powers of sulphuric acid is furnished
by an accident which occurred In the
chemical factories at Mulhouse, Al
sace. An operative was blown up Into
the air and fell Into a trough filled
about three feet deep with sulphuric
acid, the temperature of which was
found to bo 01 degrees C. ten hours
after the accident. The death of the
man was only proved by the discovery
of ids caoutchouc respirator, muzzle,
two porcelain buttons nnd other Insol
uble articles. Everything else had
chemically combined with the acid.
London Engineer.
Cloven.
From Java, Sumatra, Mauritius. Zan
zibar and Ouiaua come the little brown
flower buds of the clove tree. When
gathered the buds are red and are
dried by exposure to the smoke of
wood fires ami afterward by the rays
of the sun. In a very short time they
become of a deep brown color. To se
cure a monopoly and thus keep up the
price the Dutch in the seventeenth cen
tury destroyed all their clove trees ex
cept those In the island of Amboyna.
The chief value of cloves lies In their
essential oil, which forms about one
sixth of their whole weight.
Knew Her Way.
Towne That was a pretty parasol
your sister had yesterday.
Browne Yes. my wife is going to got
one like it.
Towne -All. she told you so?
Browne No. but I told her not to.
Philadelphia Press.
Gettlntc Even.
"Does your daughter enjoy practic
ing on the piano?"
"Yes," answered Mr. Cumrox. "The
neighbors have made some remarks
about her that she didn't like." Wash
ington Star.
Sure Sljcn.
Edyth I think Stella Is beginning to
get uneasy about the future.
May me Because why?
Edyth--She has begun to speak of
spinsters as maiden ladies. Detroit
Tribune.
Uncle Allen.
"When a man has become acquaint
ed with all his own little meannesses,"
Bald Uncle Allen Sparks, "he thinks
lie's a judge of human nature." Chi
cago Tribune.
ArtlHclnl Eyes.
The first false eye was a metal band
which gripped the head and was fitted
with a plate to cover the blind eye,
covered with leather on which an
eye was painted. Then came shells.
like halves of nutsholls, of gold, silver
or copper, enameled or painted to re
semble an eye and Inserted under the
eyelid. As an Improvement upon these.
artificial eyes were made of porcelain
and at last of glass.
Remember that what you believe will
depend very much upon what you are.
Noah Porter.
Ennlly Explnlned.
"Pa, why do automobiles have num
bers?" "So that those who are run over may
wad." Life.
Xntarnlly.
"Yes, she calls her play 'Brains.' "
"Is the plot her own?"
"Yes, she made It all up out of her
jwn head." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Hotter In Slice.
From time immemorial in Cambridge,
England, the dairymen roll the I fitter
so as to form a long stick weighing
a pound, which they sell in slices, as if
it were sausage. In the market the
butter merchants do not need to use
either weights or scales. A simple
glance is sufficient for these people
accustomed to the time honored prac
tice. A very neat cut with the knife
divides the yard into halves, quarters
or eighths very exactly, and It appears
that the customer Is never given short
measure.
Mnklnsr It Enny For Him.
The most difficult part of a pastor's
duly." said a New York preacher, "Is
the pastoral calls. I have always re
membered one of the first I ever made.
when I was a green youth Just out of
a theological seminarj. I had been
called to the bedside of a member of
my church who was well known for
his peculiarities and crankiness. After
talking with him a few minutes I said:
" 'Shall I offer a short prayer with
you?'
" 'Short or long. Use your own judg
ment.' said he.
"More and more embarrassed, I hes
itated, and then said, 'What shall I
pray for?'
" 'Exercise your own discretion as
to selection of topics. said he."
A Preliminary.
The minister's wife engaged a new
servant. The girl was very friendly
with a constable, and one day she In
vited him to co. ne round to see her.
When he came It was washing day.
She went and fetched him some beer,
biscuits and cheese, but just then a
voice called out. "Mary, have you got
started to wash yet?"
"Yes." said Mary.
"What are you doing now?"
"Oh, I am just filling up the copper."
Loudon Telegraph.
When Wnirner Fled.
Richard Wagner, the composer, was
an ardent republican in 1S49. In the
archives of Dresden there is a docu
ment setting forth a case of high trea
son against the musician. He was ac
cused of having written to a friend a
letter propo-Ing to turn Saxony Into a
republic. "But whom shall we make'
president?" he asked. "I see nobody
competent for the office except our
present sovereign, Frederick Augustus
II." Frederick Augustus does not
seem to have appreciated the humor of
the suggestion Unit he should doff the
crown and content himself with the
dignity of n republican president. For
this flash of unconscious fun Wagner
had to bolt to Switzerland.
The Word "Gent."
At one time the word "gent" was a
k., fnr cvmoml use. A re-
spectable writer in lr.Gi tells of a
supper to divers gentlemen of the
Gray's inne for the great amitio be
tween them nnd the Middle Temple
gents." The diarist Evelyn speaks of
the "noise and tumult occasioned by
three or four wild gents In drink."
Soon after Queen Victoria's accession
"gents" became vulgar. Thackeray
speaks of it in 1S-12 as an "affectionate
diminutive at present much In use
among commercial persons."
Incompatible.
"What would you do if you had a
hundred thousand dollars?"
"I'd own a private yacht."
"Then you wouldn't have a hundred
thousand dollars."- Washington Star.