Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (May 18, 1905)
How the Elder
Lost His Bet
By CHARLES C. WADDLE
Copvrioht. IJOJ, buS. S. McClurc Co.
1M DEIICS, the big, boyish coun
ty siieriir, leaped out of his bug
gy as ho drove up to the door of
the farmhouse and, springing un
the steps, swung .Mabel into his arms,
pressing his lips to hers repeatedly.
"There's one because you're wearin'
pink," he cried gayly, "an another
because it's my fav'rite color, an' an
other because today's Sunday, an' an
other because you're so pretty, an
anotln?r oh, another Just because you
Laughing and protesting, the girl
finally struggled from his bear-like hug.
"Oh. Jim," she scolded in mock pottish
ness. while she smoothed down her ruf
fled Uouuees. "whatever does make you
behave so? Su'pose some one should
"Y lio's to see? The old man's away.
I met hlin down the road as I came
along, an he gave me a look 't d sour
The sheriff, be it understood, was
was unable to answer. It was .Mabel
vho gave the desired information.
"Paw's been robbed."' she said.
The sheriff was all interest now. The
merriment had fade. from his gray
eyes. They had become as c 1 and
steady as steel. He saw that there
was work ahead for him tonight.
"Robbed?" he said. "What'd thev git?"
The matter of fact otlieial-tonos in a
"He had a brown mustache an' a little
"An' blue eyes," continued Simon.
"Rrown," corrected the girl.
"An black clo'es."
"Blue with a thin white stripe in 'em.
I noticed particular, 'cause it's almost
the same goods Flo Thompson got for
her summer skirt."
ine matter of tact otlicial-tones in a "What kind of shirt, shoes, tie WV
measure brought the old man to hUn- watch chain?" replied the sheriff W
self. "What'd they git?" lie shriekoU "Oh, I don't know," replied the old JL
' V hat d they git?" Thou Impressive- man peevishly. "I don't take no stock
ETER F. DA I LEY Is a come
dian who does not have to go
far to find jokes. They are al
ways coming his way. Not
ly and laying full stress upon each o' sech things. 'Sides what -ond i if ,onK nf?o ho attended n matinee por-
separate word, "Seven thousand dol- all goin' to do? The thieve .rnno' formance of one of the dramatic pro-
Uirs: "it,, i n... 4 .. dnetlons that did not "scorn n hit " n
" " tun iu n an caicn 1 '
"Good gracious!" ejaculated Debus, them, Mr. Unger." nut in Debus the critics say. On coming out of the
Who done it? Tell me the whole sto- r
LIU BK i:TI'UKD.J
ry an' be quick."
"It was that cousin of George Sto
ry's, hang him!" commenced the vic
tim. In his close attention Debus
failed to remark the unaccustomed ex
pletive. "He told me t he wanted to
look at a farm, an as he was pressed
TAKING ANOTHER NAME.
theater he was accosted by a friend.
"Heen to the show, Peter? How was
"No, they weren't
big; I could lick the
Aubrey Roucicauit, who Is a son of
the late actor and playwright, Dion
Roucicauit. is living up to the famllv
name by writing plays and acting too.
He lias a great admiration for his la
mented father's genius and delights in
reminiscences about his sire.
"I remember well," he says, "sitting
with my father in the Adams nouse in
Boston and hearing
him discuss with
Mr. Henry Guy
Cnrleton his meth
ods of constructing
a drama. It sound
ed to me then like
n recipe from a
formula of dispens
ing a prescription.
I was young and
did not realize as I
do now its pre-
JtothliiK' In the Luiv Thnt Prohibit
Making n. ChaiiRc.
"Custom has made it almost univer- three of 'em."
fur time I consentec'. I guess it's a Bai lor a" imUo Persons to bear the Mr.Dailey sprang
jetlgment on me fur breakin' the Sab- nnmos of tnelr parents," said an at- a Joke in San Fran
bath," he interpolated sadly. incue or uie local court tne other cisCo awhile ago-
"Yes, yes. Go on," urged his listener, morning- "It seems natural that It and In writing
"Well. I seen he wns nrettv lrreon 8noul11 he so. Nevertheless there is about It to a friend
leastwavs I thought .ho was so 1 nf- nothing in the laws of tills country in New York ex
him seven thousan' for that slxtv acre Prohibiting u man's taking another plained it as fol
piece along the crick 't gits overtlowed nanio, and no legal penalty is attached lows
every spring. I could see that lie was t0 nls JoIuS so. There is always, how- "One of the popular table waters
a-jumpin' at the price, but to be smart ever a possibility of its being attended hero Is Rartlett water. Everybody
he tried to ding me down to sixtv-five wlth Inconvenience and perhaps loss to knows about It, so I get a laugh by vate secretary in "Sultan of Sulu," is
I Am I I II I. A ! . 1
hunderd. While he was standin' there nimseir. asking if two men who drink Rartlett responsiuie ror tne following
old Simon Unger's pet aversion. Si- iu the road diekerln.' along comes a There is a way by which a man water will bo a Rartlett near." ' I started out In the rain one day last
num. being the chairman of the Repub- Ughtnin rod agent. I never put eve.5? may change his name with the sanction When the friend had thought the summer, and I had no umbrella. I wor
Menu county committee and the senior on him 't I know of before, but he of 1110 ln-5V and that is the only saf. Joke over and digested it he sent the flotl along debating whether to invest
slslon, its correctness and its unerring
method. 'First take your story and
W cut 11 1,110 climaxes of your acts. Cut
volir ncts Into situations. Cut your
aiiu.iuuus iuio scenes, say wuo tne
scenes are by, what transpires be
tween your characters, and serve hot
or to be well shaken before taking.'
This wns his recipe and his elixir for
Fred Frear, who plays Hadji, the prl-
I'ETEIl F. DAI LEY
I I Vh .... I
elder in M-mnt Sinai Presbyterian seemed to know me all right. 'Don't Y,ai- uut the law requires him to as- following telegram to Mr. Dalley
church, regarded Debus, who in so far tool your time away with that there 81En some good reason for the change. "Your pear Joke is a peach."
as he h:ui any religious atliliations was feller. Mr. Unger,' lie 'says. I don't be- Mcn haY0 assigned various reasons for
allied with the Methodists and was in nVve nes got no seven thousan',' says
politics a Democrat, as a brand reserv- l,e-
ed for the burning. Insurmountable "Well, sir, that made the first feller
as wore these objections, however, Un- jost lioppin' mail. 'What call have y u
ger cherished a deeper cause of com- gt to be mixin' in this fur?" he asts.
plaint against the young otlicial. De- Then the two of 'em got to arguin an'
bus had had the hardihood to woo the n-spattin' roun there until piuty son
oW man's only daughter, and to Si- Story got so riled he pulled a big w .d
mon's disgust Mabel had seen tit to " out of his pocket an' eo 1-
menced a-countin' 'em over. While !.e
was doin It I kep' tally, an I obserud
that the seven thousan' he claimed
was in the roll was short jest one $100
bill. I didn't say notbiif. though.
"When he was certain 't he was
right he went up to the lightnin' rod
look with favor on his suit. This add
ed point, to the old fellow's already
"Ry the way." inquired Debus care
lessly of the girl as they sat talking,
"who was that citified chap I seen
u-itli your paw this afternoon?"
"Ob. Uir'a from New York. Says he's aJ?el,t. who he hadn t let see the cunt
cousin of George Storv's. the cashier m' :ul' lie S!l-vs kinl o brash-like -I "II
f the First National bank up to town. Jcst let you 't I've got seven tho san'
FN? came here right after dinner todnv ' tins watt.
an ttW paw he wanted to buy a farm.
So paw took him over to show him
that piece down beyond the big meadow."
over Mr. Drew said:
"Yes. I think I have."
"What is it?"
"To be a better actor."
"The Ughtnin' rod man he weakened,
but 'bout that time I was gittin nter
ested myself. 'I ain't no gamblin' man,
Mr. Story,' I says, 'but if you w; nt to
On "SiiiKJ.'1 ejaculated the sheriff make that offer good I'll bet you -even
iu amazement. Then he commenced to thousan'.'
laugh. "What would the good broth- "'Are you crazy, man?' says Story,
ers over at Mount Sinai think of that?" 'Yo s011 me count it.'
"I say so. too." responded Mabel. " 'I ln't care.' says I. 'I'd jest as
tossing her blond curls. "Course the ",ef flVt? seven thousan' to you as to
man said lie had to be gettin' back t,K next man.' J
home tomorrow an' that it was now "Well, the Ughtnin' rod man he took
or never, but I don't see that that me aside, an he begged me not to do
takes oil' any from the sin of it Taw's an' Story he said it wasn't sports-
awfiti religious when it comes to any- manlike to bet on a, sure thing an' 't
body clo doin anything on a Sunday, 1,0 dhln't want to rob me, but I knowed
but if it's him it's all right. He's even what I'd seen, an finally I prevailed."
tulkfii about makiu me stav home "Old fool!" seemed to be breathed
from the camp nieetin toiiiJlit He upon the circumambient air in the or outstanding commercial paper in the voice.- He after
says a Methodv camp meetin ain't tones of .Mr. Dehus. but if Simon heard name which he seeks to abandon. If ward committed
reallv no hotter th:m n eomirt-v f,iir it he gave no sirn. ' In any of tliese cases the court is satis- -"hide "all for
"I had $S,000 here in the house I was 110(1 thew "re no objectionable reasons love of her."
calculatiu' to deposit tomorrer, so I the order Is permitted granting a Immediately aft-
TClclttnrr .V. n ..
"'d"'"b .uiiu uiuir names, some
times a man wishes to drop his right
name because it Is of foreign origin
and difficult for an American tongue to
pronounce. This may injure him in
his business, as tliero Is such a thing
as prejudice even in this free and
enlightened commonwealth; or his
name may havo In English an absurd
or even vulgar meaning and subject
him to unpleasant Jokes; or It mav as
sociate him with some notorious crimi
nal or be the counterpart of some name
which history made Infamous; or it
may be misspelled and consequently
mispronounced on his entry to this
"Frequently infants are left orphans
or abandoned by the father after the
death of the mother. In that case It is
a frequent occurrence for relatives or
neighbors to take a child and adopt it.
giving It their own name. In that case
the party desiring to adopt must apph-
by a written petition to the court of the
place in which he lives sisking leave to j
adopt the child and change Its name
to that of the petitioner. The order
allowing the adoption and the change MKs Emma Cams Is a singer whose
of name must be filed with the court, voice has more than once turned the
so that the real parentage of the child head of her auditors. When she start-
may be subsequently established if ed out on the stage she sang at a
necessary. g,v:lt concert one night and struck the
"When an adult applies for leave to heart of a foreign count who chanced
iu.iiii- name uu iiuiM give ins piaco 10 ne in uie auiiience. Several vears
of birth, residence, age and whether later she sang In the presence of a
he Is married or single and whether Nashville young man. who fell In love
there are any judgments against him with her at sight, or on hearing her
OYAMA LOVES PEACE.
CI rent .Ijipiiiic.se Wnrrlor LnnRH For
Dujh of (luietiitlr unci Hcxt.
Field Marshal Oynma is by 110 means
a man of prepossessing aspect, but since
pictures were taken of him at the out
break of tho Avar with Russia lie has
grown a beard, which partially covers
Gems In Terse
ln one or not, but wns deferred by the
thought Unit I already had three um
brellas kicking about somewhere.
When I got on Broadway I snied a
Mr. John Drew, who is in the fore- raim t presumed to be Walter Lnw-
front of his profession, was recently rence. our stage manager, who was
Interviewed. After some conversation carrying n fine silk umbrella. 'It's mine
relative to ids liking for the name part now,' ho added fondly ns he gazed at cop yr 1 ght." 1 9 0 4 scouUErfs'wEEtarl
tne work or art no hem in nis nana.
in "The Duke of
"Have you any
ambition in your
profession that you
havo not yet achiev
For the moment
Mr. Drew appear
ed to be amused at
"That- Is certain
ly invidious." here-
It Rests With God.
So many worlds, so much to do.
So littls thine, such things to be.
How know I what had need of thee
For thou wert strong as thou wert true?
Tho fame 13 quenched that I foresaw,
Tho head hath missed an earthly
I curse not nature no, nor death
For nothing Is that errs from law.
Wo pass; the path that each man trod
Is dim or will be dim with weeds;
What fame la left for human deeds
In endless age? It rests with God.
O hollow wraith of dying fame.
Fade wholly, while the soul exults.
And self Infolds the Inrte results
Of force that would ive forged a
At Set of Sun.
If wo sit down at set of sun
And count tho things that we have done.
And, counting, find
One self denying act. one word
That eased the heart of one who heard.
One glance most kind
That fell like sunshine where It went.
Then we may count the day well spent-
The drop of Ink
That, falling, may make thousands, eren
M'GAHAN AND SCOBELEFF.
the XevrMpnpar Mmi' Picture of the
Great Hunlan General.
McGnlnin was tho correspondent who
first described to Europe the Bulga
rian atrocities. What a brilliant crea-.
ture he was, with his steel blue eyes,
his face as delicately chiseled as
Uiough It were of marble, his lithe,
light frame and that suggestion of ab
solute courage, iron resolve, under-
"As soon as I saw the man I pre- field m.ulsii.yl ivo oyama seated neath Uie almost feminine Unlness of
Burned to be Lawrence I was so over- neak his quauteus. the features. He was one of the In-
Joyed that I rushed on him from Uie the pockmarks in his face anil adds tlmates of Scobeleff Indeed, the men
rear and, slapping him hnrd on the something to his martial air. The pho- were so attached to each other that
back, exclaimed, 'Look here, old man; tograph reproduced herewith was tak- Scobeleff nearly always insisted that
give me that umbrella!' en recently and gives a good idea of McGahan should share his tent wIUi
"The man turned, and, to my amaze- his appearance in the field supervising him, and McGahon was In Uie tent of
ment, I discovered Uint he was not Uie movemeuts of the armies which are Scobeleff the night after the dlsas-
Lawrence, but some one I had never driving Kuropatkin back toward St. trous assault on Plevna. Scobeleff
seen before. I was covered with con- Petersburg. He Is strongly and heav- was, said McGnhan, a wonderful plc-
fusion and was about to apologize lly built and more powerful looking ture of the horrors and terrors of war.
when I observed that he was even than Uie average Japanese. He knows His fnce was black with powder, his
more confused thnn I. He hastily clos- Uiat he Is homely and Jests about his uniform was In rags, and his sword
ed the umbrella and pressed It into my looks wheuever n photographer by dint wns twisted like a corkscrew. It Is
hand, with the remark: 'I I beg par- of persuasion or stratagem gets him to evident from this description that Sco-
don. I didn't know it was yours and face a camera. Like Kuroki and so beleff took part with his own hand In
marked after a brief pause.
"Undoubtedly, but have you?"
After carefully Uilnking the matter vanished around the corner, leaving me many other military men, he oujo3s some of the work of the day. There
standing In open mouthed astonish- his cigar, and when the picture was was a sequel, by the way, to this pic-
ment." taken be had one between his fingers. ture. I am not quite sure wliethor
Though so great a man In Uie mill- McGahan published It, but he told It
Arthur Dunn of "The Runaways" is tary affairs of his country. Marshal to me. Scobeleff was always a dandy,
said to have rather n sharp wit. Some Oyama docs not love war. He once I Even In leading a charge he was dress
das ago he purchased a book from a said: "My Idea of happiness is to dls- C1 dandlcai precision. In the
persistent agent chielly In order to get pose of everything I possess that be middle of the night McGahan was
rid of the man. While the check wns lougs to the practice of arms and go woke up, and he saw Scobeleff dress
being written the agent, feeling it in- fQr Into the country with big boxes of !nS himself with great care, putting
cunibent upon him to make conversa- books to read for the rest of my days on a uew uniform and even perfuming
tion. remarked, "I hear Jefferson de books that tell of happiness and nrog- ns nn'r an( clothes. And then came
Angel Is was robbed last week." "That ress and not of tho terrlhle deeds of another transformation. Scobeleff, his
so?" returned Mr. Dunn without look- war. And I would gather about me lin
ing up. "What did you sell him?"
elaborate toilet finished, sat down on
best old friends and little children. D's Dwl nnu uUrst lIU0 ,l snower ot
Then In the sunny dnys all would be tenrs und a tempest of sobs, thinking
just places for tlirtin" an' cuttin' up
an all manner of Sabbath breakin'."
"Sbol" commiserated Dehus. "The
menu old hunks: Why. I've been bauk
in for a week on us gettin' there to
gether. Joe Rranson an Kit t - Reyn
olds an l'lo Thompson ; the
crowd s goin to be there. . you
git around him no way?"
"111 see," she answered. "I won't
say anything more about it till supper,
mi' then I'll coax him hard. Maybe if
he makes a good sale to the stranger
he'll be in a bettor temper."
"Well. I'll come after you anyway on
the chance." returned her lover, and
tlK'n. with many lingering farewells,
he took his departure.
An hour or so later old Simon came
home and announced that he was
ready for the evening meal. He had
hurried in once before shortly after
Debus had left, and Mabel had heard
hhn turning over some pagers in his
desk, but he had almost immediately
hastened away again without giving
any explanation of his errand to the
Now. as he came up on the porch,
she noticed that lie carried a small tin
box under his arm, and, had she ob
served him more closely, she would
hav- discovered an undue elation in
ids maimer, a greedy sparkle in his
deep set eyes, a suppressed excitement
In his Avliole bearing.
He seemed to be afraid to trust the
lwx out of his sight a single moment.
even carrying it to the table with him
change of name. The order must be pi this Incident an-
filed with the clerk, and thirty dav
thereafter the new name mav be as
sumed. The granting of the notle
must within ten days thereafter be
published In a newspaper designate!
by the court.
"Thus the law protects the person
who for good and sufficient reasons do
sires to assume a name other than hi
own. The order of the court being re
corded, all the rights of the individua
which may subsequently accrue to hhn
under his original name are preserved
his Identity being under the law fully
established." Washington Star.
BUYING A WATCH.
"Them Jcllcrs Is too bharp Jer you,"
comes over an' slips off seventy of
them hunderd dollar bills an' hurries
back, afeered all the time that Story d
and sening it beside bis plate. Mabel CUa"K.e hiS m,tld 1 C0Uld Z"
was accustomed to his vagaries, how- lut4'"
ever, mini made no remark. In fact, "So that was what you wanted when
nipper was eaten almost In silence. -vou came ho,ue m Sl,cu u rusu 's aftC1'-
Siiuon lost in contemplat'on of his nc- noon," put In Mabel, with sudden en-
uuisition. Uie irirl coiritating how best lightenmeut.
to introduce nneu- the snl.iect of the Simon paid no heed to the Interrup
fori ridden camp meeting.
I'eiVire she bad her pica framed to
her liking the old man addressed her.
"Mabel." he said, "git me the key to
that little box I keep my deed an'
tion. "We had 5ome nrguiii' about the
way the bet should be decided," he
continued, "but finally it was arranged
that each of us was to put our seven
thousan' in a tin box that the Ughtnin'
rod man happened to have in his rig.
I .!.. lt!..i A1
Eager to please him. she hurried to in, "e oeiu a uiauuure&iuu pun.
get it, and then watched him curiously was to lock it up. givlu' me the box an
while he unlocked with it the box be- Storj the key. It. was agreed that I
side him. Unger raised the lid and sb'd; take the box to the bank tomor-
peercd, h,. At first a look of blank ?. a"' when We was both thero
bewilderment came over his features: George Story wasto open it. If there
then he commenced excitedly to was ?M,000 In it .Story was to get il
scratch inside, using botli hands to all. If they vas a cent less it was tc
tc .r out the masses of crumpled paper come to me.
tiich seemed lbs sole contents. Final- "Well, sir, I come home with that
Iv coming to a folded note which lay box, an' I never doubted no more than
m.n ilohnttoin and hastily scanning uothin' that there was .fl.V.KX) in it, but
iL be raised a pair of wild, haggard
eyes to Ills daughter.
"I've been robbed!" he gasped.
"Robbed, paw?" cried Mabel in con
"flint M1.1II Storv bunkoed me." He
stuttered in his excitement
I thought I'd like1 to count It afore I
went to bed, so I opened it, an' look!"
H6re his voice rose to a wail. "Look
what I found! Nothin' but a mess o'
paper an' tbls here letter."
' lie fisbed In the piled up mass upen
'Hang the table until he produced the scrap
of note paper, which he handed to De-
Nothing could hnve brought home bus. On it was scrawled:
his calamity to Mabel like this. Thai
he, the senior elder in Mount Sinai
eliurcb, should break forth into pro
fanity betokened a cataclysm in na
ture which she was powerless to meet
Just then, however, she heard the
grind of wheels upon the gravelly
Simon Unger You have been bunkoed
good and proper. You stand no chance
of jetting your money back, so tho bst
thing yon can do Is to siiy nothing. 11
you Mjueal you will only innke yourself
a laughingstock for the whole commu
nity. Yours truly, THE THIEVES.
The sheriff studied the missive a mo
I !.t I 1 tftlfM. .. 1 I
road without. "There's Jim, paw," she mom wiwi p..reu op i.iuwa. .iu
cri.nJ "He'll help vou." Rushing tc the men look like." he questioned
the door, she threw it open, and a mo- keenly. "I seen that Story with you 'a
ment l.-.ter Debus strode into tire room afternoon, but I didn t pay no p tic Inr
As he beheld old Simon's expression ten 1011 to him
be halted in amazement, "l . " of , Story-wns
"l or the land's sake, Mr. Unger!" he tall an' slim, hesitated the old man.
gasped. "What on earth's the matter?" "with a black mustache" -
Simon utterly frenzied by his loss, "Oh. no. paw, Interrupted Mabel.
Filled CnNps, Tinted Case iiud Good
nnil Hud .Movement.
"Not many men know bow to buy a
watch," said a jeweler, "and to a large
extent they have to rely on Uie honesty
of Uie dealer. So complicated is Uie
business Uiat even we go to the fac
A. S .. I -
tones ourselves and arrange tor sne-
clal work In order to get the proper ar-
UcL, for, of course, we could not as
say every case we receive.
"Now, how many people know the
difference between a filled case and one
Uiat is plated? A filled case, you see,
Is a composition Uiat resembles steel
with a plate of gold on each side, that
on Uie outer being Uiicker than the in
side. Such cases are guaranteed, not
to wear through within five, ten, fif
teen or up to twentj--llve years, the
limit of the guarantee made by the
reputable houses:-' If a man offers you
a case warranted for thirty or forty
years you are going to be bunkoed if
you buy It. When you see watches of
fered for sab ns gold filled for $3 or
$4 depend upon It they are plated, and
mighty thinly too.
"In the matter of-watcb movements,"
he continued, "the buyer Is really at
Uie mercy of the dealer. In one big
factory about 3,000 movements nro
made every day. There is certain to
be baste In that sort of output, and tho
name on the dial does not make up for
Imperfections. To avoid these a first
class jeweler arranges for several hun
dred movements to be delivered a year
"A strictly first class movement re
quires six months exactly in its pas
Buge Uirough tho factory from the be
ginning to the finished product ready
to offer for sale. Such goods are Uien
stamped with the name of tho .firm for
which they are made and that firm baa
to stand sponsor for them. The Swiss
watch, In Its higher class. Is the best
movement in the world todny. Of
course there are cheap Swiss" move
ments that you can buy for ?3 or $1,
but they keep good time." Kansas City
"Silver thaw" is q name applied to
winter phenomenon of frequent occur
rence nt Ren JS'evls observatory. It con
sists of rain falling when the air Is be
low freezing point and congealing
whenever It reaches the ground. Of
course this points to an Inversion of Uie
temperature, which Is lower on the
mountain top than nt greater heights,
and, being largely associated with a cy
clonic distribution of pressure, it Is of
considerable "forecasting" value.
Miss Tarns. Like
the preceding trou
ble, this, too, was
brought about by
the voice which
lias proved such a
potent factor in
turning men's heads ever since the
finger was a child.
This time It was John L. Sullivan,
who heard Miss Cams sing. He saw
her after her performance and said In
his most appealing tones:
"Say. youse made a hit wid me. Will
you marry me?"
This laconic proposal appealed to the
humorous side of Miss Cams' nature,
and she told the fighter that she could
only be a sister to him. He was per
sistent, however, and it was many
months before John was convinced that
bis case was hopeless.
William Norrls, the comedian and haPP,ness'"
cimracier ucior, wuo naa reufuiy ciu-1 UNHAPPY POLAND
ateu many u inugu in "junoes tn loy-
land," Is a very versatile performer, riContent fmior ituNniim Uale Pro
but nis urst stage appearance in a dncca Frequent UprUinjc.
hnrdon musio hall wn not very en- lausian rotund which has so often
couraglng. It was nt the hour when jn the past been the scene of revolu-
amateurs were tried. Mr. Norrls re- u0n and strife, Is again In a state bor
ates: I derlnir on anarcbv
over all his poor men who had been so
vainly sacrificed In the attempt to gain
the fortress. London M. A. P.
SHE GOT HER BAGGAGE.
"I had n vague impression of a vast discontented with the conditions under
sea of Heads confronting me, ana men which they labor, and the people in
I started In to sing The Falsest uirl
You Ever Came
Anlgh.' I had reach
ed tho refrain, and
a few moments
more would have
put mo at my ease
and have restored
my self confidence.
however, In ray
nervousness I had
chanced to look up
toward the gallery.
My eye was caught
Mrs. UaballiL Itlnhos Wbm a. Self Poi
Mrs. Isabella Bishop, whose travels
The workmen are in different parts of Uie world secured
by an immense sign, ten or fifteen
feet square, and I read in big black
" '('entlcmen Will Please Not Throw
Trotters' Rones at Actors ou the Stage.'
"Ry 'trotters' was meant sheep's feet,
which sold for a sixpence nnd which
had a bard siege with typhoid fever many of the workiugmen in the audl-
several seasons ago. While she was once ate while waiting for the perform
ill her mother died. The physicians ance to begin. I had gone n3 far as
kept the news from her. When the 'The false' - I never finished. The
young woman, who lias made so many nwfulness of the meaning in Uiat sign
theater goers laugh, became convales- dawned upon me. My Jaw dropped.
Marie Dressier, who has recently
made a bit in "The College Widower,"
;. v . - ".
k'-s- ' JT t: .
for her membership in Uie BrIUsh Roy
al Geographical society, visited Ameri
ca when she was a young woman. She
was unused to travel and was alone
when she had the following experi
ence: Once in a train going to New York
she was dreadfully tired, and yet she
had a feeling Uiat if she went to sleep
Uie man sitting next her would pick
her pocket She struggled for some
time against her InclinaUon to sleep;
but, having for a moment given way,
she awakened to feel Uie hand of her
neighbor gently withdrawing her purse
from her pocket.
Iu her purse, besides some money,
which was, comparatively speaking, of
small moment, was her baggage check.
That was Uie only thing Uiat really
mattered. If she accused her neighbor
of theft, nothing was simpler for him
than to drop Uie purse out of Uie open
window beside which he wns sitting.
No; she determined she would Ieavo
any Interference until they arrived at
She secured Uie services of a porter
and, with apparent calmness, followed
her traveling companion down Uie
platform. Havmg described her bag
gage to the porter, she at Uie critical
moment bowed slightly to tho pick-
cent it was necessary, of course, to No words came from my paralyzed
Impart the snd Intelligence to her, but Uiroat. My knees rattled together, nnd old waksaw enrum, wiikki: roLisn
how to do it was the question. mv eyes remained fixed In a glossy ia tiuots maui; last kta.vd,
Finally one night about five weeks stare upon Uie fatal sign. general are resentful of the efforts of pocket and, with an airy smile, said,
after her mother's (teath Miss Dress- "The leader of the orchestra, seeing th czar's government to Russianize "This gentleman has my Daggago
ler awoke with a shriek and sat up in Iny predicament, bad his men to play their country and blot out all traces of check." And he Immediately presented
bed wringing her hands. The nurse louder, but all to no purpose. A mo- Its former existence as an Independent It to her.
hurried to her. input of norsnlrlne aironv ensued, when nation. The disorder in Warsaw, the
"Turn on all the lights," said Miss the voice of the stage manager called capital of the kingdom of Poland In
Dressier quite calmly, "anil then come fr0in the wings. 'Come off at once!' Uie days when the Poles bad an hide
THE HUDSON RIVER.
1 r' iwpjipj
here nnd look uie
In the face. I want
to ask you something."
The nurse, sur
prised and appre
Miss Dressier look
ed her In the eye
"There's no use
your trying to He
to me. I know what
has happened. Mother Is dead."
"How did you guess. Miss Dressier?"
cried the nurse.
"I didn't guess; I dreamed it Just
. . A A .
now. 1 went aown to me nouse. it
wns all boarded' up and deserted. I
broke in. The place was empty except
fop a sofa lying In a corner of the
3ltting room. Something was lying on
Uie sofa covered with a cloth. I rush
ed over to It and tried to wrench the
covering off it. I couldn't for a long
time. Then finally I uncovered the
face. It was mother."
Who Wbn the Real Dlicorerer of
Thin I'ictarcMque Stream t
No Dutch or English man can affirm
Mrs. Frank Pixley, the dashing
young wife of the librettist, is a Cana
dian, so .doesn't make the effort of saj--
In the rush hour at a department
store she found herself wedged in a
"Will vou please tell me where the
ift is?" she gasped to a tlorid, grinning
face behind her.
"Sure, miss," and a huge hand strug
led unward anil swept the wall space
grandly. "This is the roigbt, and that's
Mechanically I obeyed, and not a mo- pendent national government, has been
ment too soon, for a shower of bones especially ditlicult for the Russian au
fell from the gallery upon the spot thoiities to control. The troops have tho diSCOVery of the Hudson river.
where I had been standing a moment een very i.ruiai in snppiesMiig me vorrazzano must havo distanced Hud-
before, and then followed a roar of popular demonstrations. A few weeks son.s nrciiiVes by nearly a hundred
'Boos!' like the enraged growls of some s"co there was a light between sol- yenrs. However, Uie Dutch and Eng-
hundred wild animals. (lilrs l,mI workmen in a square of the Hsh liaison In the matter Is close. Hud-
" 'You irot off lust In time.' said the city of Warsaw, in which many per- son js appropriated by Dutch minds
Lmanager. 'Now. quick, jump into this sons ""ere killed and wounded, and the ami i,ns n Holland tradition round him.
cab. You can change your costume on next morning tne somiers niigui nae no came in a Dutch yacht called, the
neon seen engaged in garnering up uie naif Moon in 1G00. His sailors were
dead by the wagon load. Hollanders and Englishmen. lie rep-
Sufcr Where He Wan. I iuiMimnu ui rubruiuu u uuicu r-usL mum i-uiupuuy
The man who bad heen arrested for WUiw. uussin Keeps a garrison 01 on Its way to Ilnd tne mucn SOUgni
having eight wives wns awakened by 30,000 soldiers there to overawe the for northeast passage to India. He
a fellow prisoner, who hoarsely whispered:
your way home.' "
"Come on, sport. We've got some
false keys and unlocked Uie cell doors,
nnd we're all going to escape."
"Look here," said the octagamlst des-
popuhttlon nnd prevent a recurrence of explored Uie Hudson, going as far as
the revolutions and insurrections of the the little town that bears his name,
past. Since the dismemberment of and ho himself has been transmitted
Roland over HHJ years ago the op- to posterity wIUi such blended and
pressed Poles have made several des- mixed traditions ns to constitute him
perate attempts to regain their lost well nigh a half breed In people's'
perately, "unless you promise mo that nationality, but allure has each time minds,
when you all get out of the Jail you resulted. The picture shows the old a he n
will lock the doors carefully again I'll church In arsaw where the I'oIIsh It has
raise a racket and expose your proj- Pilots maue uie.r last ... pe.css i..
ect . In one of these revolts against Russia.
"Why, what's wrong? Don't you Opportnnitr.
want to escape?" "ou think Uiat an opportunity must
"Escape! You lock me In here nnd necessarily bo something great and
go on about your business. Don't you unusunl, but tho fact Is Uie stepping
know these steel bars are all Uiat sep- stone to the ploce above you Is In the
nrate me from my eight wives?"
The ntrdn Interfere.
"You know," said tho Rev. Mr. Good
man, "the Rible assures us that what
ever we sow that also shall we reap."
very thing you are doing, in tho way
you do it It does not matter what it
Is. Success Magazine.
A Rennonnhle Ilypothenlx.
Johnny-Pa? Father-Well? John
nyDo you laugh in your sleeve 'causo
"Which proves," replied Subbubs, Uiat's where your funny bone Is?
"Uiat the Rible isn't infallible. Sup- Town and Country.
pose you sow garden seeds and your
neighbor keeps chickens?' Phlladel- Every year Uie world puts on Its food
phin Press. I $4,000,000 worth of pepper.
:uncs of Uie river are varied.
been called Manhattan, tho
North river, the Great river, tho
Maurltas and in tho year 101G bore
legally for, some length of time Uie
name Riviere Van den Vorst Moritlas.
Marie Van Vorst In Harper's Magazine.
The .Uijrhtr Hnnter.
"Yes," says our host, "this Is Uie
skin of a grizzly bear Uint I shot In
"Rut," we suggest gently, "grizzly
bears are only found In Colorado and
localities in tluit latitude."
"I know," he replies proudly. "But
I chased this fellow clean out of Uils
country nnd shot him nt last.- I was
clean out of breath when I got wlUiIu .
range of him too." Chicago Tribune