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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (May 18, 1905)
AAAAAAAAAAA vAAAAAAAAAAAA How the Elder Lost His Bet By CHARLES C. WADDLE J Copvrioht. IJOJ, buS. S. McClurc Co. WWYVWTVYWWYVTVT TVfm 1M DEIICS, the big, boyish coun ty siieriir, leaped out of his bug gy as ho drove up to the door of the farmhouse and, springing un the steps, swung .Mabel into his arms, pressing his lips to hers repeatedly. "There's one because you're wearin' pink," he cried gayly, "an another because it's my fav'rite color, an' an other because today's Sunday, an' an other because you're so pretty, an anotln?r oh, another Just because you are you!" Laughing and protesting, the girl finally struggled from his bear-like hug. "Oh. Jim," she scolded in mock pottish ness. while she smoothed down her ruf fled Uouuees. "whatever does make you behave so? Su'pose some one should see ms?" "Y lio's to see? The old man's away. I met hlin down the road as I came along, an he gave me a look 't d sour sweet cream." The sheriff, be it understood, was was unable to answer. It was .Mabel vho gave the desired information. "Paw's been robbed."' she said. The sheriff was all interest now. The merriment had fade. from his gray eyes. They had become as c 1 and steady as steel. He saw that there was work ahead for him tonight. "Robbed?" he said. "What'd thev git?" The matter of fact otlieial-tonos in a "He had a brown mustache an' a little brown goatee." "An' blue eyes," continued Simon. "Rrown," corrected the girl. "An black clo'es." "Blue with a thin white stripe in 'em. I noticed particular, 'cause it's almost the same goods Flo Thompson got for her summer skirt." Stories Of the Stage Folk ine matter of tact otlicial-tones in a "What kind of shirt, shoes, tie WV measure brought the old man to hUn- watch chain?" replied the sheriff W self. "What'd they git?" lie shriekoU "Oh, I don't know," replied the old JL ' V hat d they git?" Thou Impressive- man peevishly. "I don't take no stock ETER F. DA I LEY Is a come dian who does not have to go far to find jokes. They are al ways coming his way. Not ly and laying full stress upon each o' sech things. 'Sides what -ond i if ,onK nf?o ho attended n matinee por- separate word, "Seven thousand dol- all goin' to do? The thieve .rnno' formance of one of the dramatic pro- Uirs: "it,, i n... 4 .. dnetlons that did not "scorn n hit " n " " tun iu n an caicn 1 ' "Good gracious!" ejaculated Debus, them, Mr. Unger." nut in Debus the critics say. On coming out of the Who done it? Tell me the whole sto- r LIU BK i:TI'UKD.J ry an' be quick." "It was that cousin of George Sto ry's, hang him!" commenced the vic tim. In his close attention Debus failed to remark the unaccustomed ex pletive. "He told me t he wanted to look at a farm, an as he was pressed TAKING ANOTHER NAME. theater he was accosted by a friend. "Heen to the show, Peter? How was It?" "Oil, fair." "Rig audience?" "No, they weren't big; I could lick the Aubrey Roucicauit, who Is a son of the late actor and playwright, Dion Roucicauit. is living up to the famllv name by writing plays and acting too. He lias a great admiration for his la mented father's genius and delights in reminiscences about his sire. "I remember well," he says, "sitting with my father in the Adams nouse in Boston and hearing him discuss with Mr. Henry Guy Cnrleton his meth ods of constructing a drama. It sound ed to me then like n recipe from a cookbook the formula of dispens ing a prescription. I was young and did not realize as I do now its pre- BaBBaBLLL Jay. auhrky noucr- CAULT. JtothliiK' In the Luiv Thnt Prohibit Making n. ChaiiRc. "Custom has made it almost univer- three of 'em." fur time I consentec'. I guess it's a Bai lor a" imUo Persons to bear the Mr.Dailey sprang jetlgment on me fur breakin' the Sab- nnmos of tnelr parents," said an at- a Joke in San Fran bath," he interpolated sadly. incue or uie local court tne other cisCo awhile ago- "Yes, yes. Go on," urged his listener, morning- "It seems natural that It and In writing "Well. I seen he wns nrettv lrreon 8noul11 he so. Nevertheless there is about It to a friend leastwavs I thought .ho was so 1 nf- nothing in the laws of tills country in New York ex him seven thousan' for that slxtv acre Prohibiting u man's taking another plained it as fol piece along the crick 't gits overtlowed nanio, and no legal penalty is attached lows every spring. I could see that lie was t0 nls JoIuS so. There is always, how- "One of the popular table waters a-jumpin' at the price, but to be smart ever a possibility of its being attended hero Is Rartlett water. Everybody he tried to ding me down to sixtv-five wlth Inconvenience and perhaps loss to knows about It, so I get a laugh by vate secretary in "Sultan of Sulu," is I Am I I II I. A ! . 1 hunderd. While he was standin' there nimseir. asking if two men who drink Rartlett responsiuie ror tne following old Simon Unger's pet aversion. Si- iu the road diekerln.' along comes a There is a way by which a man water will bo a Rartlett near." ' I started out In the rain one day last num. being the chairman of the Repub- Ughtnin rod agent. I never put eve.5? may change his name with the sanction When the friend had thought the summer, and I had no umbrella. I wor Menu county committee and the senior on him 't I know of before, but he of 1110 ln-5V and that is the only saf. Joke over and digested it he sent the flotl along debating whether to invest slslon, its correctness and its unerring method. 'First take your story and W cut 11 1,110 climaxes of your acts. Cut volir ncts Into situations. Cut your aiiu.iuuus iuio scenes, say wuo tne scenes are by, what transpires be tween your characters, and serve hot or to be well shaken before taking.' This wns his recipe and his elixir for a drama." Fred Frear, who plays Hadji, the prl- I'ETEIl F. DAI LEY I I Vh .... I elder in M-mnt Sinai Presbyterian seemed to know me all right. 'Don't Y,ai- uut the law requires him to as- following telegram to Mr. Dalley church, regarded Debus, who in so far tool your time away with that there 81En some good reason for the change. "Your pear Joke is a peach." as he h:ui any religious atliliations was feller. Mr. Unger,' lie 'says. I don't be- Mcn haY0 assigned various reasons for allied with the Methodists and was in nVve nes got no seven thousan',' says politics a Democrat, as a brand reserv- l,e- ed for the burning. Insurmountable "Well, sir, that made the first feller as wore these objections, however, Un- jost lioppin' mail. 'What call have y u ger cherished a deeper cause of com- gt to be mixin' in this fur?" he asts. plaint against the young otlicial. De- Then the two of 'em got to arguin an' bus had had the hardihood to woo the n-spattin' roun there until piuty son oW man's only daughter, and to Si- Story got so riled he pulled a big w .d mon's disgust Mabel had seen tit to " out of his pocket an' eo 1- menced a-countin' 'em over. While !.e was doin It I kep' tally, an I obserud that the seven thousan' he claimed was in the roll was short jest one $100 bill. I didn't say notbiif. though. "When he was certain 't he was right he went up to the lightnin' rod look with favor on his suit. This add ed point, to the old fellow's already sharp animosity. "Ry the way." inquired Debus care lessly of the girl as they sat talking, "who was that citified chap I seen u-itli your paw this afternoon?" "Ob. Uir'a from New York. Says he's aJ?el,t. who he hadn t let see the cunt cousin of George Storv's. the cashier m' :ul' lie S!l-vs kinl o brash-like -I "II f the First National bank up to town. Jcst let you 't I've got seven tho san' FN? came here right after dinner todnv ' tins watt. an ttW paw he wanted to buy a farm. So paw took him over to show him that piece down beyond the big meadow." over Mr. Drew said: "Yes. I think I have." "What is it?" "To be a better actor." "The Ughtnin' rod man he weakened, but 'bout that time I was gittin nter ested myself. 'I ain't no gamblin' man, Mr. Story,' I says, 'but if you w; nt to On "SiiiKJ.'1 ejaculated the sheriff make that offer good I'll bet you -even iu amazement. Then he commenced to thousan'.' laugh. "What would the good broth- "'Are you crazy, man?' says Story, ers over at Mount Sinai think of that?" 'Yo s011 me count it.' "I say so. too." responded Mabel. " 'I ln't care.' says I. 'I'd jest as tossing her blond curls. "Course the ",ef flVt? seven thousan' to you as to man said lie had to be gettin' back t,K next man.' J home tomorrow an' that it was now "Well, the Ughtnin' rod man he took or never, but I don't see that that me aside, an he begged me not to do takes oil' any from the sin of it Taw's an' Story he said it wasn't sports- awfiti religious when it comes to any- manlike to bet on a, sure thing an' 't body clo doin anything on a Sunday, 1,0 dhln't want to rob me, but I knowed but if it's him it's all right. He's even what I'd seen, an finally I prevailed." tulkfii about makiu me stav home "Old fool!" seemed to be breathed from the camp nieetin toiiiJlit He upon the circumambient air in the or outstanding commercial paper in the voice.- He after says a Methodv camp meetin ain't tones of .Mr. Dehus. but if Simon heard name which he seeks to abandon. If ward committed reallv no hotter th:m n eomirt-v f,iir it he gave no sirn. ' In any of tliese cases the court is satis- -"hide "all for "I had $S,000 here in the house I was 110(1 thew "re no objectionable reasons love of her." calculatiu' to deposit tomorrer, so I the order Is permitted granting a Immediately aft- TClclttnrr .V. n .. "'d"'"b .uiiu uiuir names, some times a man wishes to drop his right name because it Is of foreign origin and difficult for an American tongue to pronounce. This may injure him in his business, as tliero Is such a thing as prejudice even in this free and enlightened commonwealth; or his name may havo In English an absurd or even vulgar meaning and subject him to unpleasant Jokes; or It mav as sociate him with some notorious crimi nal or be the counterpart of some name which history made Infamous; or it may be misspelled and consequently mispronounced on his entry to this country. "Frequently infants are left orphans or abandoned by the father after the death of the mother. In that case It is a frequent occurrence for relatives or neighbors to take a child and adopt it. giving It their own name. In that case the party desiring to adopt must apph- by a written petition to the court of the place in which he lives sisking leave to j adopt the child and change Its name to that of the petitioner. The order allowing the adoption and the change MKs Emma Cams Is a singer whose of name must be filed with the court, voice has more than once turned the so that the real parentage of the child head of her auditors. When she start- may be subsequently established if ed out on the stage she sang at a necessary. g,v:lt concert one night and struck the "When an adult applies for leave to heart of a foreign count who chanced iu.iiii- name uu iiuiM give ins piaco 10 ne in uie auiiience. Several vears of birth, residence, age and whether later she sang In the presence of a he Is married or single and whether Nashville young man. who fell In love there are any judgments against him with her at sight, or on hearing her OYAMA LOVES PEACE. CI rent .Ijipiiiic.se Wnrrlor LnnRH For Dujh of (luietiitlr unci Hcxt. Field Marshal Oynma is by 110 means a man of prepossessing aspect, but since pictures were taken of him at the out break of tho Avar with Russia lie has grown a beard, which partially covers -0 Gems In Terse ln one or not, but wns deferred by the thought Unit I already had three um brellas kicking about somewhere. When I got on Broadway I snied a Mr. John Drew, who is in the fore- raim t presumed to be Walter Lnw- front of his profession, was recently rence. our stage manager, who was Interviewed. After some conversation carrying n fine silk umbrella. 'It's mine relative to ids liking for the name part now,' ho added fondly ns he gazed at cop yr 1 ght." 1 9 0 4 scouUErfs'wEEtarl tne work or art no hem in nis nana. in "The Duke of Killicrankle" the conversation pro ceeded thus: "Have you any ambition in your profession that you havo not yet achiev ed?" For the moment Mr. Drew appear ed to be amused at the question. "That- Is certain ly invidious." here- It Rests With God. So many worlds, so much to do. So littls thine, such things to be. How know I what had need of thee For thou wert strong as thou wert true? Tho fame 13 quenched that I foresaw, Tho head hath missed an earthly wreath; I curse not nature no, nor death For nothing Is that errs from law. Wo pass; the path that each man trod Is dim or will be dim with weeds; What fame la left for human deeds In endless age? It rests with God. O hollow wraith of dying fame. Fade wholly, while the soul exults. And self Infolds the Inrte results Of force that would ive forged a name Tennyson. At Set of Sun. If wo sit down at set of sun And count tho things that we have done. And, counting, find One self denying act. one word That eased the heart of one who heard. One glance most kind That fell like sunshine where It went. Then we may count the day well spent- The drop of Ink That, falling, may make thousands, eren minions, mime. Byron. M'GAHAN AND SCOBELEFF. the XevrMpnpar Mmi' Picture of the Great Hunlan General. McGnlnin was tho correspondent who first described to Europe the Bulga rian atrocities. What a brilliant crea-. ture he was, with his steel blue eyes, his face as delicately chiseled as Uiough It were of marble, his lithe, light frame and that suggestion of ab solute courage, iron resolve, under- JOHN DItEW. "As soon as I saw the man I pre- field m.ulsii.yl ivo oyama seated neath Uie almost feminine Unlness of Burned to be Lawrence I was so over- neak his quauteus. the features. He was one of the In- Joyed that I rushed on him from Uie the pockmarks in his face anil adds tlmates of Scobeleff Indeed, the men rear and, slapping him hnrd on the something to his martial air. The pho- were so attached to each other that back, exclaimed, 'Look here, old man; tograph reproduced herewith was tak- Scobeleff nearly always insisted that give me that umbrella!' en recently and gives a good idea of McGahan should share his tent wIUi "The man turned, and, to my amaze- his appearance in the field supervising him, and McGahon was In Uie tent of ment, I discovered Uint he was not Uie movemeuts of the armies which are Scobeleff the night after the dlsas- Lawrence, but some one I had never driving Kuropatkin back toward St. trous assault on Plevna. Scobeleff seen before. I was covered with con- Petersburg. He Is strongly and heav- was, said McGnhan, a wonderful plc- fusion and was about to apologize lly built and more powerful looking ture of the horrors and terrors of war. when I observed that he was even than Uie average Japanese. He knows His fnce was black with powder, his more confused thnn I. He hastily clos- Uiat he Is homely and Jests about his uniform was In rags, and his sword ed the umbrella and pressed It into my looks wheuever n photographer by dint wns twisted like a corkscrew. It Is hand, with the remark: 'I I beg par- of persuasion or stratagem gets him to evident from this description that Sco- don. I didn't know it was yours and face a camera. Like Kuroki and so beleff took part with his own hand In marked after a brief pause. "Undoubtedly, but have you?" After carefully Uilnking the matter vanished around the corner, leaving me many other military men, he oujo3s some of the work of the day. There standing In open mouthed astonish- his cigar, and when the picture was was a sequel, by the way, to this pic- ment." taken be had one between his fingers. ture. I am not quite sure wliethor w 1 Though so great a man In Uie mill- McGahan published It, but he told It Arthur Dunn of "The Runaways" is tary affairs of his country. Marshal to me. Scobeleff was always a dandy, said to have rather n sharp wit. Some Oyama docs not love war. He once I Even In leading a charge he was dress das ago he purchased a book from a said: "My Idea of happiness is to dls- C1 dandlcai precision. In the persistent agent chielly In order to get pose of everything I possess that be middle of the night McGahan was rid of the man. While the check wns lougs to the practice of arms and go woke up, and he saw Scobeleff dress being written the agent, feeling it in- fQr Into the country with big boxes of !nS himself with great care, putting cunibent upon him to make conversa- books to read for the rest of my days on a uew uniform and even perfuming tion. remarked, "I hear Jefferson de books that tell of happiness and nrog- ns nn'r an( clothes. And then came Angel Is was robbed last week." "That ress and not of tho terrlhle deeds of another transformation. Scobeleff, his so?" returned Mr. Dunn without look- war. And I would gather about me lin ing up. "What did you sell him?" elaborate toilet finished, sat down on best old friends and little children. D's Dwl nnu uUrst lIU0 ,l snower ot Then In the sunny dnys all would be tenrs und a tempest of sobs, thinking just places for tlirtin" an' cuttin' up an all manner of Sabbath breakin'." "Sbol" commiserated Dehus. "The menu old hunks: Why. I've been bauk in for a week on us gettin' there to gether. Joe Rranson an Kit t - Reyn olds an l'lo Thompson ; the crowd s goin to be there. . you git around him no way?" "111 see," she answered. "I won't say anything more about it till supper, mi' then I'll coax him hard. Maybe if he makes a good sale to the stranger he'll be in a bettor temper." "Well. I'll come after you anyway on the chance." returned her lover, and tlK'n. with many lingering farewells, he took his departure. An hour or so later old Simon came home and announced that he was ready for the evening meal. He had hurried in once before shortly after Debus had left, and Mabel had heard hhn turning over some pagers in his desk, but he had almost immediately hastened away again without giving any explanation of his errand to the girl. Now. as he came up on the porch, she noticed that lie carried a small tin box under his arm, and, had she ob served him more closely, she would hav- discovered an undue elation in ids maimer, a greedy sparkle in his deep set eyes, a suppressed excitement In his Avliole bearing. He seemed to be afraid to trust the lwx out of his sight a single moment. even carrying it to the table with him , change of name. The order must be pi this Incident an- filed with the clerk, and thirty dav thereafter the new name mav be as sumed. The granting of the notle must within ten days thereafter be published In a newspaper designate! by the court. "Thus the law protects the person who for good and sufficient reasons do sires to assume a name other than hi own. The order of the court being re corded, all the rights of the individua which may subsequently accrue to hhn under his original name are preserved his Identity being under the law fully established." Washington Star. BUYING A WATCH. "Them Jcllcrs Is too bharp Jer you," comes over an' slips off seventy of them hunderd dollar bills an' hurries back, afeered all the time that Story d and sening it beside bis plate. Mabel CUa"K.e hiS m,tld 1 C0Uld Z" was accustomed to his vagaries, how- lut4'" ever, mini made no remark. In fact, "So that was what you wanted when nipper was eaten almost In silence. -vou came ho,ue m Sl,cu u rusu 's aftC1'- Siiuon lost in contemplat'on of his nc- noon," put In Mabel, with sudden en- uuisition. Uie irirl coiritating how best lightenmeut. to introduce nneu- the snl.iect of the Simon paid no heed to the Interrup fori ridden camp meeting. I'eiVire she bad her pica framed to her liking the old man addressed her. "Mabel." he said, "git me the key to that little box I keep my deed an' moggidges in." tion. "We had 5ome nrguiii' about the way the bet should be decided," he continued, "but finally it was arranged that each of us was to put our seven thousan' in a tin box that the Ughtnin' rod man happened to have in his rig. I .!.. lt!..i A1 Eager to please him. she hurried to in, "e oeiu a uiauuure&iuu pun. get it, and then watched him curiously was to lock it up. givlu' me the box an while he unlocked with it the box be- Storj the key. It. was agreed that I side him. Unger raised the lid and sb'd; take the box to the bank tomor- peercd, h,. At first a look of blank ?. a"' when We was both thero bewilderment came over his features: George Story wasto open it. If there then he commenced excitedly to was ?M,000 In it .Story was to get il scratch inside, using botli hands to all. If they vas a cent less it was tc tc .r out the masses of crumpled paper come to me. tiich seemed lbs sole contents. Final- "Well, sir, I come home with that Iv coming to a folded note which lay box, an' I never doubted no more than m.n ilohnttoin and hastily scanning uothin' that there was .fl.V.KX) in it, but iL be raised a pair of wild, haggard eyes to Ills daughter. "I've been robbed!" he gasped. "Robbed, paw?" cried Mabel in con sternation. "How?" "flint M1.1II Storv bunkoed me." He stuttered in his excitement himr I thought I'd like1 to count It afore I went to bed, so I opened it, an' look!" H6re his voice rose to a wail. "Look what I found! Nothin' but a mess o' paper an' tbls here letter." ' lie fisbed In the piled up mass upen 'Hang the table until he produced the scrap of note paper, which he handed to De- Nothing could hnve brought home bus. On it was scrawled: his calamity to Mabel like this. Thai he, the senior elder in Mount Sinai eliurcb, should break forth into pro fanity betokened a cataclysm in na ture which she was powerless to meet Just then, however, she heard the grind of wheels upon the gravelly Simon Unger You have been bunkoed good and proper. You stand no chance of jetting your money back, so tho bst thing yon can do Is to siiy nothing. 11 you Mjueal you will only innke yourself a laughingstock for the whole commu nity. Yours truly, THE THIEVES. The sheriff studied the missive a mo I !.t I 1 tftlfM. .. 1 I road without. "There's Jim, paw," she mom wiwi p..reu op i.iuwa. .iu cri.nJ "He'll help vou." Rushing tc the men look like." he questioned the door, she threw it open, and a mo- keenly. "I seen that Story with you 'a ment l.-.ter Debus strode into tire room afternoon, but I didn t pay no p tic Inr As he beheld old Simon's expression ten 1011 to him be halted in amazement, "l . " of , Story-wns "l or the land's sake, Mr. Unger!" he tall an' slim, hesitated the old man. gasped. "What on earth's the matter?" "with a black mustache" - Simon utterly frenzied by his loss, "Oh. no. paw, Interrupted Mabel. Filled CnNps, Tinted Case iiud Good nnil Hud .Movement. "Not many men know bow to buy a watch," said a jeweler, "and to a large extent they have to rely on Uie honesty of Uie dealer. So complicated is Uie business Uiat even we go to the fac A. S .. I - tones ourselves and arrange tor sne- clal work In order to get the proper ar- UcL, for, of course, we could not as say every case we receive. "Now, how many people know the difference between a filled case and one Uiat is plated? A filled case, you see, Is a composition Uiat resembles steel with a plate of gold on each side, that on Uie outer being Uiicker than the in side. Such cases are guaranteed, not to wear through within five, ten, fif teen or up to twentj--llve years, the limit of the guarantee made by the reputable houses:-' If a man offers you a case warranted for thirty or forty years you are going to be bunkoed if you buy It. When you see watches of fered for sab ns gold filled for $3 or $4 depend upon It they are plated, and mighty thinly too. "In the matter of-watcb movements," he continued, "the buyer Is really at Uie mercy of the dealer. In one big factory about 3,000 movements nro made every day. There is certain to be baste In that sort of output, and tho name on the dial does not make up for Imperfections. To avoid these a first class jeweler arranges for several hun dred movements to be delivered a year hence. "A strictly first class movement re quires six months exactly in its pas Buge Uirough tho factory from the be ginning to the finished product ready to offer for sale. Such goods are Uien stamped with the name of tho .firm for which they are made and that firm baa to stand sponsor for them. The Swiss watch, In Its higher class. Is the best movement in the world todny. Of course there are cheap Swiss" move ments that you can buy for ?3 or $1, but they keep good time." Kansas City Star. Silver Thaw. "Silver thaw" is q name applied to winter phenomenon of frequent occur rence nt Ren JS'evls observatory. It con sists of rain falling when the air Is be low freezing point and congealing whenever It reaches the ground. Of course this points to an Inversion of Uie temperature, which Is lower on the mountain top than nt greater heights, and, being largely associated with a cy clonic distribution of pressure, it Is of considerable "forecasting" value. EMMA CAKl'S. other remarkable adventure befell Miss Tarns. Like the preceding trou ble, this, too, was brought about by the voice which lias proved such a potent factor in turning men's heads ever since the finger was a child. This time It was John L. Sullivan, who heard Miss Cams sing. He saw her after her performance and said In his most appealing tones: "Say. youse made a hit wid me. Will you marry me?" This laconic proposal appealed to the humorous side of Miss Cams' nature, and she told the fighter that she could only be a sister to him. He was per sistent, however, and it was many months before John was convinced that bis case was hopeless. William Norrls, the comedian and haPP,ness'" cimracier ucior, wuo naa reufuiy ciu-1 UNHAPPY POLAND ateu many u inugu in "junoes tn loy- land," Is a very versatile performer, riContent fmior ituNniim Uale Pro but nis urst stage appearance in a dncca Frequent UprUinjc. hnrdon musio hall wn not very en- lausian rotund which has so often couraglng. It was nt the hour when jn the past been the scene of revolu- amateurs were tried. Mr. Norrls re- u0n and strife, Is again In a state bor ates: I derlnir on anarcbv over all his poor men who had been so vainly sacrificed In the attempt to gain the fortress. London M. A. P. SHE GOT HER BAGGAGE. "I had n vague impression of a vast discontented with the conditions under sea of Heads confronting me, ana men which they labor, and the people in I started In to sing The Falsest uirl You Ever Came Anlgh.' I had reach ed tho refrain, and a few moments more would have put mo at my ease and have restored my self confidence. "Unfortunately, however, In ray nervousness I had chanced to look up toward the gallery. My eye was caught Mrs. UaballiL Itlnhos Wbm a. Self Poi seaned Trsweler. Mrs. Isabella Bishop, whose travels The workmen are in different parts of Uie world secured WILLIAM XOKHIS. by an immense sign, ten or fifteen feet square, and I read in big black letters: " '('entlcmen Will Please Not Throw Trotters' Rones at Actors ou the Stage.' "Ry 'trotters' was meant sheep's feet, which sold for a sixpence nnd which had a bard siege with typhoid fever many of the workiugmen in the audl- several seasons ago. While she was once ate while waiting for the perform ill her mother died. The physicians ance to begin. I had gone n3 far as kept the news from her. When the 'The false' - I never finished. The young woman, who lias made so many nwfulness of the meaning in Uiat sign theater goers laugh, became convales- dawned upon me. My Jaw dropped. Marie Dressier, who has recently made a bit in "The College Widower," ;. v . - ". k'-s- ' JT t: . for her membership in Uie BrIUsh Roy al Geographical society, visited Ameri ca when she was a young woman. She was unused to travel and was alone when she had the following experi ence: Once in a train going to New York she was dreadfully tired, and yet she had a feeling Uiat if she went to sleep Uie man sitting next her would pick her pocket She struggled for some time against her InclinaUon to sleep; but, having for a moment given way, she awakened to feel Uie hand of her neighbor gently withdrawing her purse from her pocket. Iu her purse, besides some money, which was, comparatively speaking, of small moment, was her baggage check. That was Uie only thing Uiat really mattered. If she accused her neighbor of theft, nothing was simpler for him than to drop Uie purse out of Uie open window beside which he wns sitting. No; she determined she would Ieavo any Interference until they arrived at their destination. She secured Uie services of a porter and, with apparent calmness, followed her traveling companion down Uie platform. Havmg described her bag gage to the porter, she at Uie critical moment bowed slightly to tho pick- cent it was necessary, of course, to No words came from my paralyzed Impart the snd Intelligence to her, but Uiroat. My knees rattled together, nnd old waksaw enrum, wiikki: roLisn how to do it was the question. mv eyes remained fixed In a glossy ia tiuots maui; last kta.vd, Finally one night about five weeks stare upon Uie fatal sign. general are resentful of the efforts of pocket and, with an airy smile, said, after her mother's (teath Miss Dress- "The leader of the orchestra, seeing th czar's government to Russianize "This gentleman has my Daggago ler awoke with a shriek and sat up in Iny predicament, bad his men to play their country and blot out all traces of check." And he Immediately presented bed wringing her hands. The nurse louder, but all to no purpose. A mo- Its former existence as an Independent It to her. hurried to her. input of norsnlrlne aironv ensued, when nation. The disorder in Warsaw, the "Turn on all the lights," said Miss the voice of the stage manager called capital of the kingdom of Poland In Dressier quite calmly, "anil then come fr0in the wings. 'Come off at once!' Uie days when the Poles bad an hide THE HUDSON RIVER. 1 r' iwpjipj MARIK DKKSSLETl. here nnd look uie In the face. I want to ask you something." The nurse, sur prised and appre hensive, obeyed. Miss Dressier look ed her In the eye nnd said: "There's no use your trying to He to me. I know what has happened. Mother Is dead." "How did you guess. Miss Dressier?" cried the nurse. "I didn't guess; I dreamed it Just . . A A . now. 1 went aown to me nouse. it wns all boarded' up and deserted. I broke in. The place was empty except fop a sofa lying In a corner of the 3ltting room. Something was lying on Uie sofa covered with a cloth. I rush ed over to It and tried to wrench the covering off it. I couldn't for a long time. Then finally I uncovered the face. It was mother." Who Wbn the Real Dlicorerer of Thin I'ictarcMque Stream t No Dutch or English man can affirm Mrs. Frank Pixley, the dashing young wife of the librettist, is a Cana dian, so .doesn't make the effort of saj-- ng "elevator." In the rush hour at a department store she found herself wedged in a crowd. "Will vou please tell me where the ift is?" she gasped to a tlorid, grinning face behind her. "Sure, miss," and a huge hand strug led unward anil swept the wall space grandly. "This is the roigbt, and that's the lift." Mechanically I obeyed, and not a mo- pendent national government, has been ment too soon, for a shower of bones especially ditlicult for the Russian au fell from the gallery upon the spot thoiities to control. The troops have tho diSCOVery of the Hudson river. where I had been standing a moment een very i.ruiai in snppiesMiig me vorrazzano must havo distanced Hud- before, and then followed a roar of popular demonstrations. A few weeks son.s nrciiiVes by nearly a hundred 'Boos!' like the enraged growls of some s"co there was a light between sol- yenrs. However, Uie Dutch and Eng- hundred wild animals. (lilrs l,mI workmen in a square of the Hsh liaison In the matter Is close. Hud- " 'You irot off lust In time.' said the city of Warsaw, in which many per- son js appropriated by Dutch minds Lmanager. 'Now. quick, jump into this sons ""ere killed and wounded, and the ami i,ns n Holland tradition round him. cab. You can change your costume on next morning tne somiers niigui nae no came in a Dutch yacht called, the neon seen engaged in garnering up uie naif Moon in 1G00. His sailors were dead by the wagon load. Hollanders and Englishmen. lie rep- Sufcr Where He Wan. I iuiMimnu ui rubruiuu u uuicu r-usL mum i-uiupuuy The man who bad heen arrested for WUiw. uussin Keeps a garrison 01 on Its way to Ilnd tne mucn SOUgni having eight wives wns awakened by 30,000 soldiers there to overawe the for northeast passage to India. He a fellow prisoner, who hoarsely whispered: your way home.' " "Come on, sport. We've got some false keys and unlocked Uie cell doors, nnd we're all going to escape." "Look here," said the octagamlst des- popuhttlon nnd prevent a recurrence of explored Uie Hudson, going as far as the revolutions and insurrections of the the little town that bears his name, past. Since the dismemberment of and ho himself has been transmitted Roland over HHJ years ago the op- to posterity wIUi such blended and pressed Poles have made several des- mixed traditions ns to constitute him perate attempts to regain their lost well nigh a half breed In people's' perately, "unless you promise mo that nationality, but allure has each time minds, when you all get out of the Jail you resulted. The picture shows the old a he n will lock the doors carefully again I'll church In arsaw where the I'oIIsh It has raise a racket and expose your proj- Pilots maue uie.r last ... pe.css i.. ect . In one of these revolts against Russia. "Why, what's wrong? Don't you Opportnnitr. want to escape?" "ou think Uiat an opportunity must "Escape! You lock me In here nnd necessarily bo something great and go on about your business. Don't you unusunl, but tho fact Is Uie stepping know these steel bars are all Uiat sep- stone to the ploce above you Is In the nrate me from my eight wives?" The ntrdn Interfere. "You know," said tho Rev. Mr. Good man, "the Rible assures us that what ever we sow that also shall we reap." very thing you are doing, in tho way you do it It does not matter what it Is. Success Magazine. A Rennonnhle Ilypothenlx. Johnny-Pa? Father-Well? John nyDo you laugh in your sleeve 'causo "Which proves," replied Subbubs, Uiat's where your funny bone Is? "Uiat the Rible isn't infallible. Sup- Town and Country. pose you sow garden seeds and your neighbor keeps chickens?' Phlladel- Every year Uie world puts on Its food phin Press. I $4,000,000 worth of pepper. :uncs of Uie river are varied. been called Manhattan, tho North river, the Great river, tho Maurltas and in tho year 101G bore legally for, some length of time Uie name Riviere Van den Vorst Moritlas. Marie Van Vorst In Harper's Magazine. The .Uijrhtr Hnnter. "Yes," says our host, "this Is Uie skin of a grizzly bear Uint I shot In the tropics." "Rut," we suggest gently, "grizzly bears are only found In Colorado and localities in tluit latitude." "I know," he replies proudly. "But I chased this fellow clean out of Uils country nnd shot him nt last.- I was clean out of breath when I got wlUiIu . range of him too." Chicago Tribune S S